Author Topic: Hubei Province, October 2009  (Read 31120 times)

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Offline ron

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RE: Hubei Province, October 2009
« Reply #285 on: December 09, 2009, 01:57:00 pm »
Brett I am very glad your Miss Wu turned up I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you

brett

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RE: Hubei Province, October 2009
« Reply #286 on: December 09, 2009, 03:33:24 pm »
Thanks Ron!

I had a longer QQ session with Miss Wu today.

It turns out her mother is still in hospital. I think it is fairly serious. On the other hand I have heard that Chinese hospitals tend to overplay things (IV drips for antibiotics etc.), so perhaps they keep people in for far longer than is necessary. This whole sorry saga was started by that cold snap in late October - 5,000 years of history and yet the Chinese solution to cold weather is to put on a coat and bobble hat while indoors and hope for the best.

What has made things worse is that Mr Wu is also now in hospital, I guess the strain of looking after his wife and the apartment was too much. Miss Wu always tells me that there are endless things to do - I guess they spend a lot of time shopping for fresh food and cooking, but I don't know what other chores there are. When I was in Wuhan it seemed as if people spent most of the day hanging their laundry out to dry.

As you can imagine Miss Wu is feeling pretty low. They have family helping out but Miss Wu still has to work. I tried to raise her spirits with some dancing bananas on QQ but they didn't work their usual magic.

Unfortunately it will cost too much for her to post my recently completed scarf to the UK, so I might have to make do with a photo of said scarf. I'm disppointed as I know how much you guys like it when your ladies send you stuff you can touch and feel. Does anyone know how much postage costs are in China? I guess if airmail is the same as the UK then posting the scarf might cost her a day's wage.

Anyway, I have ordered some more RMB from my bank and I'll send some cash out to cover costs. She doesn't like me sending money but I feel I have to do something. Does anyone know how much hospitals cost in China? Mrs Wu has been in for a month so that must be a pretty substantial sum. They're free in the UK so we are very lucky (although our taxes are much higher, obviously!!!).

As to our relationship, we are still translatorless. Strangely the more Chinese I learn the worse my Google translations get.

When things are settled down a bit I will have to find out what has happened to my lady's relationship with her agency. I think the person I made contact with at chnlove could translate for us, or maybe chnlove themselves have a system for agency-less women. I'll have to find out if my lady owes them money, although it's not going to be easy to prise that information out of her.

In the longer term I guess there are huge question marks about our relationship. Miss Wu's parents want her to have a good future and I guess they're hoping for grandchildren. I now know that we have to *really* address the issue of her parents. I have always known this, but they aren't that old and I did not think we would have major issues so soon in the relationship. I thought we had this angle covered (I specifically asked her in a few EMFs), but it needs revisiting. I guess like many people Miss Wu has an agonising decision ahead - does she prioritise looking after her parents, or does she prioritise her future husband and children (if she has them). Maybe we could make things better for them, like install heating in their apartment or arrange for some home help. Maybe moving to the coast would help, but I doubt I have the funds available to arrange this.

The events of the last few weeks have made me realise now that a man needs to feel wanted. It is the most important thing that I want in a relationship. If Miss Wu leaves her heart in China then our marriage would be over in a year. But I have stated from EMF #1 that my girl must move to the UK so she knows my feelings on this.

When things settle down we'll have a gigantic amount of talking to do!

Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: Hubei Province, October 2009
« Reply #287 on: December 09, 2009, 08:03:35 pm »
Hi Brett,

The parents issue might be a non issue, I don't know if she has siblings, but if she doesn't or if she is the eldest, she has to take care of her parents, that is the tradition and the way it's done, no retirement plan in China except for party members. This can be sorted from the UK as well by sending financial support if needed, but she still might to go back and take care of her parents should one be sick or something similar.

So again, take it easy :icon_cheesygrin:
Go deep or don't go

brett

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RE: Hubei Province, October 2009
« Reply #288 on: December 10, 2009, 06:26:32 am »
Yeah, she's an only child so I knew that we'd have to take care of the parents. They do have pensions though, although I guess they could be pretty modest. I don't know what hospitals charge but there could be some hefty bills on the way. Life in China is very hard when things go this badly wrong.

Anyway, I did a bit more digging in our latest QQ session. Apparently the relationship with the agency is over. It sounds as if she was on a fixed term contract or something, and that has now expired. I don't doubt that there's more to this than I'm being told :fi_lone_ranger:.

I'm looking for a new translator so I can resume some proper lines of communication.

Apparently the postage costs for my scarf would have been a month's living expenses for the family. Fortunately it's unseasonably warm in the UK at the moment, so I'll make do with a photo of the scarf :icon_cheesygrin:.