sticky like candy

[Philip]

Hi guys,

I’m off to China in 11 days.
I am 46,  no kids, my lady is 35, divorced, two kids, boy of 12 and girl of 7.
We have been writing to each other for nearly six months.  We have been using QQ and webcam since June, text each other every day, stopped using EMFs a few weeks ago.
Her English is very little, I am learning Chinese slowly.
We ignored the received wisdom and decided to get married very early on in our correspondence. Then, after sensible discussion, we agreed to meet first in October, and, if the thrill wasn’t gone, marry when I returned in December. So far, so good.
Problem is, the agency. While being an otherwise reputable agency, they began to drool at the prospect of a lucrative wedding in October, and started to demand a big chunk of the large wedding fee from my lady upfront. So, we decided this was just not on. We wanted to meet and get to know each other in a non-pressurised environment. So, with a bit of subterfuge, we convinced the agency that I had cancelled my October trip (well, they may be suspicious, but that’s all). Now I am off to meet her in Guangzhou, which is where her brother lives.
My lady’s brother is a very interesting part of our story. She has 2 elder brothers. Her father is alive, he lives in the country, but he plays little part in the family decision-making. If the 3 siblings have something big to talk about, they get together and discuss it. Her oldest brother has impeccable English, and so do his two daughters. He has helped me and his sister a lot. At the same time, he has been subtly checking out whether I am serious. Sometimes talking to him is like being interviewed, but in a nice way. So, he acts as a kind of translator/go-between/protector. He has offered to help us out in many ways, booking hotels, travel, inviting us to meet his family. A great guy.
I’m not marrying her brother though, I’m marrying her (I hope). There’s an intensity about our feelings for each other that’s white hot. It doesn’t die down, it won’t let up, it just grows with a steady intensity.
She tells me when I arrive that she will be ‘sticky like candy’. I think that must be a good thing, right? :icon_cheesygrin:

[Vince G]

‘sticky like candy’ most likely from nerves? I'll leave it at that. Wish you luck in the endeavor. But take your time, don't rush into it. Unless your very sure.

[Martin]

I hope you have a great trip!  I look forward to your trip updates.

Oh...and you are marrying her brother as well.  I am sure you already know this, but in China, you marry the entire family.

[Scottish_Rob]

Yes mate, the best of luck on your trip...

As Martin says, it's the entire fa,ily your marrying...lol

Stock like glue is what she means I think, you aint going nowhere...fast....lol

[brett]

Hi Philip,

Welcome to the brotherhood! I'm currently our man in China so I hope you have as much fun as I'm having!

[Neil]

Awesome first post Philip!  Welcome to the brotherhood and I wish you all the best.  It sounds like you are off to a great start.  Talking with the brother is an excellent sign and I'm sure things will work out fantastically.  Have an awesome time in Guangzhou and please keep us posted at least a bit.  We're like a bunch of worrying old mothers back here (or lecherous old men like Willy :icon_cool: ).  Don't forget your camera.

[shaun]

Welcome Phillip,

Welcome and good luck in China.

Shaun

[RobertBfrom aust]

Phillip , welcome to this Forum , great that you are getting along so well , just 1 question to throw your way , if the brother is not with you how will you talk directly with your lady ? , an electronic translator is a must , and they are fun to , you can purchase when you first arrive in G and it means you are not tied to family 24 /7 , good luck , regards Ying and Robert .

[Scottish_Rob]

RobertB...Thanks for the reminder..I forgot all about that with everything else going on...
Cheers bud:icon_biggrin:

[Philip]

Phillip , welcome to this Forum , great that you are getting along so well , just 1 question to throw your way , if the brother is not with you how will you talk directly with your lady ? , an electronic translator is a must , and they are fun to , you can purchase when you first arrive in G and it means you are not tied to family 24 /7 , good luck , regards Ying and Robert .

RobertB. Thanks for the question. I have a nice Besta CD 869, which I plan to leave with my lady when I go back. The brother will be entertaining and translating for some of the first couple of days. There is also a cousin who is available for translating duties if we need it.
If I get into language trouble, I plan to sing my way out of it. Lol. She likes my singing. Seriously, the communication will be difficult and stuttering, but I love learning languages and I'm starting to see the patterns in Chinese.

[Paul Todd]

Sounds like your off to a flying start my friend. Fantastic news that her family are all on your side. Yes I had those "interviews" from my now wife's brother. They can be unbelievably helpful and generous these people so best of luck with your first meeting. Marrying a Chinese girl is  everything the brothers here say it is and more:icon_biggrin:!

Ming Zhi,Paul

[Philip]

Well, six days to go before I fly to Guangzhou. I have my double-entry visa. I have my certificate of no impediment verified by the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and the Chinese Embassy (ready for December if everything works out). I have most of the presents (for my lady's two children and for her brother's family).
I feel quite calm and confident as well as excited. But as the time approaches, my lady is becoming a little nervous. I think her main worry is that I will be disappointed with her, no matter how much I try and reassure her. She sent me a couple of messages on QQ yesterday.
"I was a very beautiful little girl when I was young. My appearance has been engulfed slowly with age as I grew up. I have had many trials and hardships of experience and they have forced me to change."
"I hope to meet you and have a contented happy ending. I cannot guarantee I'm your only choice, if you see me I'm not what you want beautiful, you make other plans I will not blame you."
Well, this is really the first time she has spoken like this. My heart went out to her when I read this. She is not prone to saying things to get sympathy. Hearing her words only makes me love her more. At the same time I wonder what (or who) happened to her to make her see herself in that way. I told her she was beautiful on the inside and on the outside and that she was my only choice. But I know that now I need to back up these words with actions.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Phillip , I would agree with Mr Butt , on his take of your ladies thoughts , it might seem strange , but it would seem that they have a totally different mindset to Western women , they seem to have the idea that what will be will be , there we were at a ktv party and I was talking with the translating machine to 1 of Yings girlfriends , who I must admit was very pretty , and I was asked by Ying whether I preferred Ling to her , it floored me , lesson was pay attention when your lady is singing  haha :dodgy:

[Philip]

Hi.
In 24 hours, I will be on my way to Guangzhou (via Beijing). I will finally get there at 6pm. I will try and post from the hotels and post photos when I get back a week later.
I have been confident, single-minded and romantic throughout my correspondence with my lady, though perhaps not to a Brian degree. My lady has been more pragmatic, more insecure and more modest, all of which makes for a refreshing contrast. I think we are quite similar in temperament actually, and we share the same fear, i.e. that face to face, she/he won't like me.
Butttt, and it's abigbutttt, the nervousness will hopefully go away when we have the benefit of physical contact. At the moment I am ridiculously and uncharacteristically serene. Calmer than if I was going to sing on stage in front of thousands of people or if I was going to an important interview. Paul Simon said " I can't get used to Something So Right". Well, I think I can get used to it just fine.

Here I go.

Philip

[daghoi]

Good luck and have a nice trip.

Make sure you do the Pearl River cruise in the evening. If it fits with where you stay, have a walk around Shamian Island.