Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 276903 times)

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Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1575 on: February 09, 2017, 11:17:46 am »
Happy Belated Ground Hog Day!!
« Last Edit: February 09, 2017, 11:21:04 am by JohnB »

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1576 on: February 09, 2017, 11:26:19 am »
the Cat's Meow

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1577 on: February 09, 2017, 11:28:24 am »
happy St Valentine's Day! 

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1578 on: February 09, 2017, 05:23:36 pm »

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1579 on: February 09, 2017, 05:25:06 pm »

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1580 on: February 09, 2017, 07:14:05 pm »
 Twitter Moments..
« Last Edit: February 09, 2017, 07:21:16 pm by JohnB »

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1581 on: February 11, 2017, 11:41:22 pm »
this one is bringing back a memory, I think, but what the eh', it's funny enough to repost.


One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant
and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire
departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the
chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the
vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department
that brings them out intact."


But the roaring flames held the fire fighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen
arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department that could
bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby
Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the large newer fire
trucks that were parked around the plant.

Without even slowing down, the old truck drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the
other fire fighters watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and
fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had the fire well under control and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the
reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to
do with all that money?"


"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"


Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1582 on: February 11, 2017, 11:46:04 pm »
is this what they mean when they say, "buy low... sell high"

10 Canadian Marijuana Stocks For Your Portfolio
By Mrinalini Krishna | February 9, 2017 — 12:46 PM EST

Read more: 10 Canadian Marijuana Stocks For Your Portfolio | Investopedia http://www.investopedia.com/investing/10-canadian-marijuana-stocks/#ixzz4YRWiZo1S
Follow us: Investopedia on Facebook

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1583 on: February 12, 2017, 12:35:02 am »

 A Man was out golfing one day when he hit the ball into the woods.
He went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to him, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."


The man freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your wife will get times ten!"


The man said, "That's okay."

For his first wish, he wanted to be the most handsome man in the
world.

The frog warned him, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
wife the most beautiful woman in the world, a Venus who men will
flock to".


The man replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most handsome
man and she will have eyes only for me."


So, KAZAM-he's the most handsome man in the world!

For his second wish, he wanted to be the richest man in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your wife the richest woman in the
world. And she will be ten times richer than you."


The man said, "That's okay, because what's mine is hers and what's hers
is mine."


So, KAZAM-he's the richest man in the world!

The frog then inquired about his third wish, and he answered, "I'd like
a mild heart attack."


Moral of the story: Men are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention male readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.

Female readers: Please scroll down
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The woman had a heart attack ten times stronger than her husband

Moral of the story : Men think they're really
smart….

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show


Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1584 on: February 12, 2017, 09:33:15 pm »

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1585 on: February 12, 2017, 11:49:41 pm »
The Dot.......
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively
thought this was connected with tradition or religion but the Indian Embassy in Ottawa has
recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night,
the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he's won a convenience store, a gas station,
a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in Canada. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to
answer telephones and provide us with technical support.

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1586 on: February 12, 2017, 11:58:58 pm »
Erections and Aging
Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,

"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it,
even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about
ten degrees, if I tried really hard. By the time I was fifty, I could bend
it about forty five degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be sixty next week,
and now I can bend it in half with just one hand."

"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"

"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1587 on: February 13, 2017, 06:55:19 am »

Offline Pineau

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1588 on: February 14, 2017, 03:32:42 pm »
Hey John, I dont know if your were being funny but I bought into some cannabis related companies and they are doing well. One has tripled since I bought it. 
And I got in for pennies.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
https://chinaandfriends.shutterfly.com/pictures
http://www.youtube.com/user/gerrypineau/videos
http://youtu.be/zG4eoONlutE

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1589 on: February 16, 2017, 07:47:47 pm »
Hey John, I dont know if your were being funny but I bought into some cannabis related companies and they are doing well. One has tripled since I bought it. 
And I got in for pennies.

now, still pennies?

Gerry, Gerry, Gerry...
of course this is a joke thread... this particular post was meant to be funny!
but I guess I failed in my endeavor to make you laugh!

now, your post begs the question. since your  post is investment related, did
you perform due diligence? or, since your investments are consumer related,
are the products of these few companies something you personally know
something about. enjoy. and recommend to all your friends? a can't miss getting
rich scheme of things or, in the least, enjoy the ride?

usually every year there is a stockholders meeting... free samples?
I had to ask.