All About China > Your trip to China

Meeting mY girl Mei

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Irishman:
Ed, thank you for the brilliant post, very interesting reading.

I think you need to keep in mind a couple of points :-

1) For most Chinese cheap doesnt mean poor quality - it means good. Simple as that. When you said that you paid 300rmb for a seat (Day 4-5) and she used her card to get a free one away from you - she was giving you face. She was saving you money, this was an honourable thing to do, it probably shocked her that you complained afterwards. You need to let her know in advance that you want her to sit beside you because her company is priceless and important to you.

2) Chinese girls and their mobiles are inseparable! Get used to it, its just how it is. I went to the movies with Ling and we paid 100RMB each for posh seats one time..every few minutes her mobile would go off or someone else's in the theatre. in the west its would have resulted in people getting annoyed and telling her to turn it off. Not so in China..no-one even glanced over..it is normal. You won't change this behaviour, you are in China, these are Chinese girls..this is normal behaviour..YOU need to adapt.

Enjoy Shenzen, though I think you have a good girl in Chengdu already.

maxx:
David without knowing what the paper said this is all a guess.I think that is what is making the women run hot and cold.Tell us what the paper said and we can go from there.

Cell phones.Chinese people can't live without them.That is something you learn to live with.

davidaquincy:
Sorry guys,

The contract was for us going on this 2 day trip. It was just the costs of the bus, hotel and such. It had nothing to do with meeting Mei. Sorry i was very tired when writing my post and should have been more clear!!!!

As far as the costs for meeting Mei we discussed that nothing more would be said to her agency. She knows it will cost money if they think anything more is discussed thru them. She paid 1600 rmb to join the agency. We  We exchanged our email address. After much thought this evening and little sleep I am just bummed that things didn't go better. I may just be reading more into what has happened.

I understand what everyone is saying about the cell phone. I just found it quite rude in my opinion. I can learn to adapt to that.

The girl in Shenzhen is more of just a friend. She contacted me after I had been talking with Mei. I explained everything to her that I was interested in Mei when we started talking. She just wanted a friend also so we kept communication thru email instead of CHN. We have worked on her english and is more of a friendly attitude.

I have a lot of feelings towards Mei. I am still learning their customs and what I can and cannot do. Mei was very helpful and explained quite a bit to me. I am just regretting leaving without getting to know her better.

Hopefully in the next couple of days I can think more clearly and get a grasp on the time I have spent with Mei.

I will keep you informed. Mei will be over early and we can spend the last few hours hopefully discussing what I have thought.

Thanks brothers

David

maxx:
David talk to Mei.It sounds like you 2 are having culture issues.( I know this next part is going to sound dumb But it is how Chinese people see it.)You are letting your anger and frustration show on your face.And she is probably reading off of that.Without me being there it is kind of hard to say.

I think it is time for you and Mei to talk.And see what can be done.I'm sure you going to Shenzhen.To visit the other women is on Mei mind.

If you were married to Mei and she was going with you it would be ok.But since you are not married to Mei.And are going to see this other women.It makes you look like a butterfly.Butterfly is a male slute in China.A man who spreads his sead all over the place.And by doing that you are taking Mei face..

It could be any number of reasons.But I think I would talk to Mei.And see what she has to say.

victor-hills:
I have to say if i was Mei knowing full well your going to see this other woman friend is not going to sit well with her knowing you could be with her but your of to see the other woman instead think i would run hot and cold,becase she prob feels if she gets to close to you and you hit it off with the other woman she defintly loose face just my penys worth.

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