Author Topic: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story  (Read 23867 times)

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Offline Buzz

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Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« on: December 14, 2009, 09:57:53 pm »
Trip summary of my time in China.  

Was going to a day by day posting while in China, but quickly ran out of interest in the internet and was spending quality time with my lady and her family.  Since I am not the entertaining writer as Rhonald, did not have the drama of a step-daughter like Jim, I do not recall meeting or talking with any Lings (Ronan are you sure that there are Lings in China), not the drama of agency and country issues that helped Mike keep us entertained, did not have the dumpling stories as Arnold, and well I was up North so no Willy stories.  So will just give an overview of my trip and maybe help someone who is going to China one day.  Had the laundry in the bathroom in the five star hotels, more and different kinds of food than I can even begin to describe, the air in Beijing was so thick that you could not breath but had to take bites and chew the air before consumption, taxi rides were interesting (not even as scary as Lima Peru), bus, train and subway were all packed but a fun way of travel.  All in all if you have read the other stories, mine is very much the same except that it is a love story of XiuRu and myself.  Except for my one claim to fame in this post.  In all my reading I think that I am the first to receive a pair of custom-made wool long-handle underwear from a Buddhist nun.  
We were in the northern city of ShenYang and out shopping for tea sets for my daughters.  During our shopping, we stopped by this out of the way teashop and during the course of our stay, we were invited to have tea.  I had never seen the way that they make the tea and was watching them trying to learn.  A few minutes later the lady said that her friend spoke very good English and wanted to see us if we could wait a few minutes.  I was having a very good time and not rushed for time, so we stayed.  A few minutes later we met the ‘high teacher’ of a local school and she was also the English teacher as well.  We spoke for a few minutes and then she took my lady and I out to the shops to see what we were looking at.  I was deposited back in the teashop and the owner and the two ladies went out shopping and got the owners discount on all products.  While we were leaving Gao asked if we wanted to meet her sister before lunch.  So we all got a cab and got out at a local Buddhist temple.  It was very cold and windy but my lady picked out some incense to bless our happy union.  While waiting a nun came up and asked me which was my belief, Christian or Buddhism?  In all my preparation, I had not considered this question.  My answer was that I was most familiar with Christian as my father was a minister.  I then went on to say if you are asking my belief then I truly believe that if one is a true Christian, is a devote follower of Buddha, and is pure in spirit like the native American, then their reward will be equal in the next life.  Her response was that it was her belief as well and we were invited to enter the temple.  After we sat thru a ceremony that was given for a family who lost their son/husband/father, we then went out to eat.  After a very good meal, we then went back to the temple and had tea with the “master” (mother superior) nun.  During this time I crossed my legs.  From the sounds the ladies made, I thought that I had committed an unforgivable error.  My next thought was that they were just surprised to see hairy legs as they were pulling up my pant leg and pulling down my socks.  Then it became apparent that the problem was that I was not wearing long underwear.  The fact that I have never worn long underwear did not concern them, it was decided that I was in grave danger of great illness unless I had this problem solved very soon.  So then the three ladies got out a tape measure and there the nun, high teacher, and my lady in the back room of a Buddhist temple were measuring me.  Never saw this in any tourist brochure.  After several minutes on the phone, it was decided that I would have the new clothes delivered the next day.  Well the next day was XiuRu’s birthday.  We met her younger brother and his wife as well as other friends and our new best friends, the nun and teacher.  We had a very good meal and after we got done, there was a knock on the door and the nun got a package.  It seems the underwear had arrived.  Custom made overnight.  I thanked them and was going to put them in my luggage, as we were getting ready to leave town for my lady’s hometown of Anshan.  The thought crossed my mind that they just might feel the need for me to put them on and no sooner had my mind had that thought, well they all left the room and told me to put on the wool underwear.  So I put on the underwear, got dressed and opened the door.  Since I had the only camera, there are no pictures of what happened next, (and never will be) it seems that the ladies had to make sure the underwear fit.  So surrounded by my lady, my new soon to be sister-in-law, the nun, the teacher, the young servers packing leftovers, my trousers were at my ankles and they were admiring my new gray long underwear.  I thought that this would be the end of the story, but oh no.  When we got to her Aunt’s home a couple of days later, it was decided that I need some elastic bands in the upper portion of the long underwear.  It seems that the tailor who made them did not have the proper elastic when she made them.  So in comes my lady, my soon to be sister-in-laws (2 new ones), the maid that cooks for the family, and my ladies best friend.  Pants around the feet, loud discussion about which elastic band to use, and laugher about the amount of elastic band needed was and is the final chapter to this unbelievable gift.

I met with an immigration lawyer today to get started on the K-1 finance visa.  I will return in May for another visit and then later in the year when we get a time for the interview.  When I set my expectations for my trip to China they were very simple.  I wanted to see certain points of interest, eat peiking duck, and see if XiuRu and I were possibly more than friends.  In my wildest dreams I never expected to be blown away by such a lovely lady.  I realize that for the first part of the trip I was being interviewed by family and friends to see if I was worthy of XiuRu.  After the third day, word went out that I was OK OK.  From there on the trip was more relaxed and we had time to get to know and understand one another better.  When we got to her hometown of Anshan, we met her most trusted and closest friends.  During a lunch that lasted 3 hours it became apparent to me that this couple had veto power over our relationship.  After two hours the husband came over to me, gave me the thumbs up and we toasted our friendship and XiuRu’s future with me as her husband.  Had this not happened, I am sure that I would have come in second in a two horse race and would have left China very sad and disappointed.  The next night we met the friends again for a final night in China.  About 30 minutes into the meal the friend’s wife looked at me and asked “what was the relationship with you e-wife, why are you divorced, what are your children’s thoughts about you being in China”.  The room got very quiet and for the next 15 minutes I spoke directly with the lady and explained that I had always been attracted to Asian Ladies, had planned on marrying a Japanese lady when I was in Japan, but that my parents and grand-parents forbid me to marry outside of America.  So due to family pressure I married whom my parents had decided, but we did not love one another.  Since my father died in 2000 and my mother died in February of 2009, I then asked my children for their blessing of following my desire and finding an Asian lady to marry.  I then went on to say that I did not understand how I was able to meet XiuRu, but that I had found a very special lady and was not about to let her out of my life.  She then got up and toasted XiuRu and myself and gave her blessing.  That was the final piece that gave my lady piece in her heart.  

I guess the thing that I learned the most was just be yourself.  Her family and friends all have an idea of who I am but they will always be watching.  Never once did I feel out of place or in danger.  Respect the people, respect the culture, and never ask your lady to do something you are not willing to do yourself.  My lady needs to know that we will spend some time in China every year.  I am like Jim in this respect, I cannot move to China and spend the rest of my days there.  I also understand that XiuRu cannot move to America and visit China very infrequently.  My new sister in law and I came across an idea to import items into china that we think will provide an income.  There are many possibilities out there; it is just necessary to keep your mind open, your eyes open, and your mouth shut more.  I cannot wait to get back to XiuRu.  Will keep busy with Visa paperwork, learning Chinese, and teaching her English.  Time-Warner has an international calling program for $20 you can talk 3000 minutes each month to China.  Lessons start Wednesday.  

Pictures are: drawing given by 93 year old uncle (retired general), Friends with veto power in Anshan, new family in Anshan, new Brother and his wife in ShenYang, XiuRu's birthday lunch, Betty the translator agency 204, Agency 204 with Scott's friend on right, some where near Beijing, on the wall, my first and favorite photo of my lady, the grey long underwear, and the nun, teacher, XiuRu and new sister in law.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2009, 10:01:14 pm by Buzz »

Offline Rhonald

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2009, 10:34:11 pm »
I think your long underwear as like your story was weaved with a Lovely Yarn. Thanks for sharring your pictures and journey with us. Both will keep the heart warm :icon_biggrin: especially here were we are having -24C weather.

And congrats on a successful adventure.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2009, 10:40:35 pm by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline Danny

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2009, 11:10:20 pm »
Buzz

That's a wonderful story. It's a real pleasure to share it with you.

There is nothing like wearing something that someone who cares about you has gone to the trouble of knitting.

It was great to have a look at the pictures. There is nothing like having a story illustrated with the actual places and people it talk place in.

I am in Wuhan at the moment and I am wearing woolen socks and pants and jumper that my dear woman's mother has knitted for me.

Good luck on the visa hurdle.

I think you've done the right thing engaging an immigration lawyer. It's too important a thing I think to try to work out as you go along.

Danny

Offline David E

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2009, 11:21:56 pm »
Priceless Buzz...what a warm and wonderful story.

(even warmer with "long-johns"  :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:)

It is easy to see that you dont need luck any more, so may I wish you every happiness that you could ever wish for

More please !!!

David

Offline Buzz

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2009, 12:28:55 am »
Quote from: 'David E' pid='25574' dateline='1260850916'

Priceless Buzz...what a warm and wonderful story.

(even warmer with "long-johns"  :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:)

It is easy to see that you dont need luck any more, so may I wish you every happiness that you could ever wish for

More please !!!

David


David, waiting for your happy story.   buzz

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2009, 01:46:08 am »
what a wonderful story with a great ending
 best wishes to the both of you.

Offline JimB

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2009, 03:38:56 pm »
Great story Buzz.  Sorry Gina could not meet you for dinner.  Thanks for asking her.  As you know she is a charge nurse and must work when no one else can cover.  Glad you had a successful trip.  At some point hope we can meet up.

Jim
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Offline Irishman

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2009, 03:42:02 pm »
Great story Buzz and well written too, a good read. Best of luck to you and your lovely XiuRu.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Arnold

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2009, 04:33:40 pm »
What a lovely Story Buzz .
I hope you pulled up your Pant's before going to Board the Plane back Home . haha
I was smart enough to bring my own long underwear for Beijing in Feb . this year , after reading your incounter with the TAILER"S .
Also lot's of thanks for the Photo's you shared with us .

shaun

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2009, 10:36:24 pm »
Great story Buzz.  I can tell you are a very happy man.  Good luck in the future.

Shaun

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2009, 02:53:30 am »
Nice typing Buzz , the plusses are certainly growing at an amazing rate , so all the best to the 2 of you , regards Ying and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
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Offline Peter

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2009, 11:48:05 am »
I think as all the others : Great story Buzz...
Better to be married to a wife from Changsha then have 7000 women in Chnlove

Offline Buzz

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #12 on: December 22, 2009, 08:20:42 pm »
An un-expected update.  I contracted with Time-Warner Cable for their international phone service, 1000 minutes for 19.95 per month.  Got the phone all hooked up and was making my first phone call this morning and had a very nice surprise.   The “high teacher” from Shenyang (70 K away), had made the trip to help with the phone call.  During the course of the visit, I found out that my lady is going to move to ShenYang and take English classes from this friend.  Her sister is the Buddha Nun that gave me the nice wool long underwear.  When XiuRu and I made the connection, we expected that there would be my family and her family, my friends and her friends.  It is nice to see that we have made our first friends as a couple.  I can not even imagine such a thing happening in the good ole USA.  So in exchange for some free medical advice to the Temple Nuns, my lady is getting a crash course in English.  The phone connection was very good and it was such a “high” to hear her laugh and get excited about the future.  It just keeps getting better.  

Buzz

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2009, 01:22:08 am »
Nice to hear your news Buzz.  Its great to see that we are on a very good roll at the moment.  May it keep going so that more of you will have many Happy Chistmas's in the future years.

Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline Buzz

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RE: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2010, 11:31:48 am »
For those who have wives, fiancés, and girl friends in China and are back home waiting for the time when we can be together; talking by phone, web cam, QQ, e-mail or any of the other ways we try and keep in touch, know just how lonely it is without your lady by your side.  I am not different.  I spoke with XiuRu this morning and was really depressed about the time between our next visit, and the long wait before the Visa.  I will share her response:

“Love is eternal, our appearance might change, but love lasts forever.  Love is not counting the days past; Love is what makes each day more meaningful.  In this world, ‘A man’s most precious possession is a woman’s heart, and to make the distance between the two hearts closer.’  In a happy marriage, the wife is always to create a good climate and to provide a good environment for her husband.  I love you and know you love me.”

A very simple love story continues.  I can continue on knowing that this wonderful lady is waiting for nothing more than my love, and will accept nothing less than my full commitment to her and our marriage.  

Buzz