All About China > Marrying A Lady In China

Trouble in Paradise

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Philip:
Hi guys,
I am getting on great with my lady. I will visit her next week. We plan to register our marriage, and then actually get married in April next year. All fine and dandy.
But last night, she tells me she thinks the wedding will cost 200000 yuan. This is a bit of a bombshell to me. She had previously asked me what kind of wedding I wanted. I told her I wanted a modest affair, with family and a few of her best friends. Well, in English terms, 200000 is a lot of money, and I just can't afford it, especially as I am saving for her and her two children to come to England.
In many respects, my lady is very careful with money, but my assertion that I do not have that kind of disposable income was not met with her usual good grace. I just want a simple modest affair (and we did have the discussion after she asked me what I wanted). The only thing we didn't discuss before is the figures.
How much do average weddings cost in China? What do you suggest I say to her that stops me sounding like a penny-pinching westerner? All I have said so far is that I cannot afford 200000, and that my priority is providing for our family in the future. Didn't really go down well.

It is cold in Hunan province at the moment. I hope the cold doesn't stretch to my reception when I meet my lady next week.:icon_sad:

RobertBfrom aust:
Philip , a couple of times when I have been discussing things with my Ying she has added a zero or some other number that has confused me until we have sorted the numbers out , but that number is way out of kilter even twenty thousand is a lot , read a couple of the other last months marriages , that will give you a good idea , regards Ying and Robert .

brett:
Ouch, that's a lot of 0's. Didn't Chong say his banquet was about £1000? I guess a rogue 0 might have crept in there.

Chong:
Philip email a PM to Martin / Peter [ I Spy ]. They got married in Hunan Province. First of all, you'll get Red Envelopes back to help recoup the wedding dinner cost. If you're paying for the entire wedding, make sure that you get these RE back. Every place is different. One person got back 35,000 RMB in RE; I got back only 1,800 RMB in RE.

My wedding dinner for 80 guests cost 5,600 RMB. Including everything ... pictures, registration, Red Envelopes for guest and wedding help, dress ... my total came out to $ 1,800 Cdn. [ See my breakdown on the thread "Kaiping News" ].  Like Robert said, you need to sort out the numbers and know what specifically the breakdown is.

But 200,000 RMB is way too much. That's almost $ 30,000 Cdn. My wedding cost under 10% of her figure. How many guests is she planning to invite ? I would factor $ 11.00 Cdn per person for the dinner.

Willy The Londoner:
Well if I go ahead it will be a marriage not a wedding.  We have both been through the wedding stuff once and neither worked out so we will be having dinner for about 20 people about a week after we go through the official marriage bit.  

But if she insists she wants an English style wedding then that is all right with me as the brides father pays for that where I come from!!!!:angel:

If I cannot get through it for less than £300 all in then I will think again - I will ask myself does she really want thoughful and kind and loving husband or does she want fancy photos and a bill longer than her dress.

Tight of course I am - I am part Yorkshire.

Willy

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