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My Zhanjiang adventure

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Hans:
First of all, big creds to all the people here who responded to my concerns before leaving for China to meet my lady. Without you, maybe I would never have taken the step.

After a long journey (24 hours from my apartment in Stockholm to the hotel in Guangzhou) I finally arrived in Zhanjiang, Guangdong.

It was a weird start. I arrived in Guangzhou in the evening. As I was heading outside with my bags I was immediately asked by a guy where I wanted to go and told him the Guang sha hotel. I didn’t show him the hotel voucher because we could communicate in Chinese and he seemed to understand perfectly. A driver finally arrived and I told him too to drive me to that hotel. He drove me to a shabby place called the Fei Xiang hotel instead, apparently thinking it didn’t matter too much. I was too tired to make any fuss about it, never mind the 200 RMB for the hotel. I only wanted a shower, to shave and to sleep.

After a night of limited sleep in a bed which must be regarded as pure concrete™ even by Chinese standards, I took the plane to Zhanjiang and landed at the smallest airport I’ve ever seen. There I was greeted by my lady holding a big bunch of flowers, the head of the agency, an interpreter, and a girl whose only job seemed to be to take a lot of photos as we walked by holding hands the first day. I was quite impressed with the reception and pleased with the fact that my lady looked more beautiful in real life than in the photos. We got in a van and headed for lunch and later she opened my gifts at the hotel.

The hotel the agency had booked for me was great, probably the best I’ve stayed in in China (the bed was actually as soft as mine at home). After lunch they left me and my lady to fend for ourselves. The biggest problem initially was (surprise, surprise) the language barrier. I’ve not studied Chinese for that long and my lady doesn’t know more than a few words of English. To make things worse, being a Guangdongren she obviously doesn’t speak the Beijing dialect I’m used to. It was a bit frustrating for us both in the beginning until I learned the differences in pronounciation.

The first few days I tried to analyze her reactions. Is she unhappy with the ways things are going? Is she on the contrary very pleased? Was that a sad look on her face or am I just me misreading it? Every tiny signal was analyzed unconsciously in my head. After a few days I could let it go.

Meeting the agency and talking views on marriage and religion etc. straight away the first day certainly woke me up a bit. ”Hey pal, this is for real!” I arrived in Zhanjiang on December 29th, on the 30th I would meet the parents. Gosh was I nervous. As it turned out, so were they. I handed over the gifts I had bought to them in Sweden. Her family had arranged with a dinner at a nice restaurant and since it was also my birthday they even brought a big birthday cake which we had for dessert. It was me, my lady, her sister, her parents, three people from the agency and a friend of the parents. Naturally, I had to answer tons of questions. About education, income, views on relations, plans for the future etc. And a lot about Sweden as a country. I was prepared for it and they never asked me anything really inconvenient. You might say that Chinese people ask what others would like to ask.

When it was time for dessert I was asked to say something and blow the candle out as well as sing something in Swedish. Well, what choice did I have? I sang the Swedish happy birthday song since I regarded this as both mine and my lady’s birthday (her birthday is only a few weeks prior to mine). At times the first few days were like being in a movie, watching someone else doing what I was doing. Most of all I felt I was experiencing an adventure and at that time I didn’t mind the outcome that much, I was mostly enjoying the ride. That would change, though. We came closer and closer with every day.

Zhanjiang is a relatively "small" Chinese city, only about one million inhabitants (including the suburbs). It’s certainly not one of the prettiest cities I’ve seen but I think it is be much more beautiful in the summer with all the parks and beach promenade areas. I slept at my hotel and she stayed with her parents at night. Every morning we had breakfast at the hotel before going out to explore the city. That mostly meant visiting a few parks every day and trying to communicate. As long as we were together, I didn’t care what we did.

I had a terrible cold the first few days. Because of it and because each day was like a never ending Chinese lesson I was very tired the first three days. My lady was great, she brought me medicine to the hotel and also got me the most distasteful medicine I have ever tried. If it did any good I am not man to say. I was almost treated like a patient of hers. My lady later invited me to her home and her parents cooked us dinner. It’s a pity that they only speak Cantonese since I would like to talk to them more, but maybe we may be able to in the future.  

On January 4th we took the bus to Guangzhou and stayed there two nights before it was time for me to catch the plane home. Now we stayed in the same hotel room, which felt great.

I was told by guys on this forum not to have any expectations before I left. I tried not to, in fact I must have expected a failure because I felt very surprised with the great treatment from the agency (except the ridiculous translation fees I have nothing to complain about at all). When we first met at their office I told them about my concerns because of bad behavior from other agencies and the head of the Zhanjiang Happy Marriage Agency told me that she thought that 80 per cent of the agencies in China were no good. An exaggeration probably, but it still means that they are aware of the concerns.

I am back in Sweden with a great experience. I was a bit concerned that I had put the Chinese woman on a pedastal and created an unrealistic image. But my lady turned out to be exactly everything I have been looking for in a woman; Sweet, caring, beautiful, organized, responsible and with a good sense of humor. We laughed a lot which I think is very important in a relationship.
So I am more or less blown away. Now the plan is to arrange with a visa for my lady so that she can celebrate Christmas with me in Sweden. By then my Chinese will have improved and hopefully her English too. I hope we will not encounter any big visa problems along the way. Maybe, maybe I’ll visit her again in late summer…

I am just walking around with a silly smile on my face right now. :icon_cheesygrin:

I'll post some pictures soon...

RobertBfrom aust:
That is great Hans , another terrific story , now out of the unknown into the known , but do you think life would have been easier with a little electronic translator , because as you have possibly worked out there are words in the English language which have no Chinese word and these immediately show up when you hit the Mandarin button and make it very easy to communicate , even flipping to Cantonese if required , regards Ying and Robert .

brett:
Wow, a good update Hans and I'm glad it worked out after all the pre-trip worrying! Have you got any photos?

Can you get your lady an electronic translator? We found it quite useful, and I also had a dictionary on my mobile phone which was great for finding the right word for things. Chinese has much fewer words than English, heck we have big, massive, large, huge, ginormous and all the Chinese seem to have is "?" lol.

Willy The Londoner:
Hans

many on this site are concerned with not being able to talk to their ladies fluently.   I have been with my lady here for four months this week.  When I first met her she could not speak a word of English and the Chinese that I had previously learned was the wrong dialect (I am in Guangdong as you was).  We have a elec. translator but we do not use it that often.   But we learn from each other every day and body language is very clear and understandable.  

So if you want to have long  meaningful conversations day in day out then maybe China is not the place for you. If you want to have a growing relationship that takes patience on both sides then China is the place to be.

Willy

Peter:
I am very happy to read about your trip... After all the doubts you had of going to China this time it is great news that it worked out for you too.. You are now one of us with this strange grin in the face.. Other people doesn't know why we look as we do and I would not tell them either :icon_cheesygrin:
A big " Lycka till " to you

Peter

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