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[Bee964]

Hello and welcome, but I think you joined before I did. :icon_biggrin:I think that you should ease into direct contact. I have just asked my lady for an email sent in chinese. I want it to experiment with translation software. She seemed to think I wanted to switch to emails. I want to continue the EMF's. When starting a relationship I would not want to screw it up because of a misunderstanding due to translation. I think that the ladies are dead terrified of the same thing, screwing it up because of a misunderstanding due to translation.

Dave C

[Vince G]

You have to build a trust not only with the lady but with the agency/translator as well. I've written this before. When I got my ladies phone number I said we will still use EMF and we do. Same for the address, just to send a gift. Email, same reason as phone. I showed the translator we weren't leaving them behind and I get the real info anytime I ask now.

[ttwjr32]

Which agency do you deal with Vince? Sometimes depending on agency
maybe it is best to get away from the translator? just a thought

[Vince G]

Shenyang Golden Olive Consultancy Corporation Limited  Agency ID: P612

I've had no problems with them at all. Kenny also has the same and the same translator. She's good.

[JimB]

Falcon, welcome to the forum.  First off, how old are you and how old is the lady you are writing to?  has she been married and divorced?   The offer to have you stay with her and then no direct contact or everyday type photos give me a red flag anyway. If you can give us more info, i think we can better answer your questions.  I, too have stayed in China four times now and have never registered with the police.  Maybe I was lucky, But on the entrance card, I just put a hotel name and that is the end of it.  Now if i were going to a smaller city, I would probably do it just to be safe. I have been married for 6 months now to a wonderful woman.  The road is sometimes not easy and is a long one.  You must  be committed before you even do this.  if not, you are just spinning your wheels.   But if you stick with it you can end up with a woman who will make you feel like a king and make you the happiest man on earth.
My biggest suggestion is to read, read and read on this forum.  I think almost every question that can be asked has been answered here.  But, if you cant find your answer just ask.  There are many guys here that will gladly help you. you cant lose by being here. However, the bottom line is it is your decision to make.    Good luck in your quest.

Jim

[Willy The Londoner]

Hi Falcon,

It was me that was answering the door to the Police.  That was in Zhuhai ny the way.   They came iun a took a long time with my 'visitor' going through all my papers as well as hers.

I had to repoprt to the police station the next day then went off to the PSB.

If you are meeting with a women in Zhuhai then maybe I should PM you especially if you are using agency P368  in Zhuihai they were the source of such much pleasure for me!!!!  That was in the months I stayed there.

Zhuhai is a great place and very easy to get to from Hong Kong by ferry.    Ferry goes straight from the airport and the immigrations and customs at Zhuhai are a doddle.

Willy

[falcon]

Dave - I agree about easing into direct contact. My very first experience on here was with a lady that gave me all her personal information at the very start so we started communicating privately with translation software. We were simply not able to communicate effectively and my suggestion was to still use EMF's, something she for some reason did not want. Needless to say it did not work out. What I am trying to avoid is the situation Andy mentioned in another thread about making the trip and finding out yes indeed there was a lady but without the personality he imagined her to have. I have sent the agency a message and it is being addressed, hopefully.

JimB - Thanks for the information. I will be 60 in just a few months and the lady is 40. I have no trepidation whatsoever about that. The time for the trip is getting closer and before I  commit time and money to it I want to feel more secure about her. I as well consider it a red flag that she would accept me into her home and just know me through EMF's so I am on at least orange alert about this. I very much feel affection for this lady and so want it to work.

[ttwjr32]

Falcon,

the ladies are very much like that. if they like and trust you they would invite you to their
home but keep in mind that they are not talking about you know what. they just like to care
for the man they like and want to cook and talk with you and see what will happen. so i
wouldnt think that it is like a western woman inregard to having you sleep over at their house.
the chinese ladies are a lot different i would go and see what develops you never know she
might just be the one. if anything you will gain insight to china and make a valuable freind as i
have stayed freinds with several ladies i met over the years even though we didnt work out
together

[falcon]

Ted - Sounds like sage advice, thank you. I see this as a process that working out my misgivings is simply part of and that I am at the start of this very grand adventure, exciting

[ttwjr32]

Falcon,

trust me this is a wonderful adventure that your about to embark on. i have been
coming to china for 8 years now and i now live here. hell i was even used at one time
for just an immigration visa but i didnt give up as when you do find the right lady
there really is no comparison to others when she is from china. just my thoughts
any other members agree??

[David5o]

falcon,

Why on earth would you take being invited/excepted into her home as a ''Red Flag?
Your seeing too much into things, take it from me, ...if she didn't trust you sufficiently you wouldn't be invited to stay at her home...FULL STOP!!  So basically your throwing her trust in you, straight back at her..  

I suppose you would also think that being accepted into her bed, is also a Red Flag??
You don't seem to give these Chinese ladies much credit for there love and trust in you. You seem to be able to see Reg Flags and Scams around every corner...

Your coming on to 60 yrs old, I suggest you use the life experience and common sense you have gained over the years, by waiting till you meet her face to face before you start to judge her. You may very well be more than surprised by what you find!!! There's never any guarantee's in life, but there is also no need to cut a real chance of being happy out the window either. So don't screw up, thinking the worst until you know for sure.

Remember you may not have been the first Westerner that she has corresponded with, and they or he may have let her down badly. But she is still showing you trust enough inviting you to her home. Sort out the other things when you get there... they will in all likelihood  fall neatly into place. She wants to see and be sure your Real and not just another waste of time and space!!

David

[falcon]

David - I appreciate your thoughts. I am honored to having gained her trust to be invited to her home, I simply want to communicate with her in a fashion other than EMF's a few times to get a sense of her without the translator as a go between. I think this forum is a very good thing and I am here to find out about this, I might be thinking out loud and do hope I am not wasting anyones time, these are questions that come up.

Thank you!!!

[David E]

I am sure that if you have read a lot of the posts here you will be aware that this "direct communication" is probably the most talked about item of all.

Almost every Bro hit this wall at some time or other and it seems that there is no 100% answer to it.

Some Agencies will hold you out until they think they have squeezed enough EMF's out of you and to hold out much longer will drive you away completely.

Some Ladies are very cautious about getting to the personal communication stage because they have been jerked around by less scrupulous Men in the past.

Some Ladies are embarrassed about their lack of English and dont want to appear stupid in front of you.

Some Ladies live too far from the Agency to make "popping in for a web-cam session" very difficult.

Some Ladies dont have a home computer so they have to rely on Agencies or web-cafes which make them uncomfortable.

Some Ladies dont want direct communication because they know their CHNLove photos are not real or accurate !!!! They hope that a face-to-face meeting will prove that they are nice people and the photos dont really matter (ask Voicoverip !!!!!!!!!!!)

I wont go on much  more, but I am sure you can see that there are so many variables in this equation it is truly bewildering.

If you truly feel you have good vibes with your Lady, then persist with trying to get personal communication.

If she or the Agency wont play ball...then either make plans to go and visit her and find out the real truth............or move on to another Lady.!!

Either way, dont lose sight of the fact that she is just as concerned about your intentions as you are about hers or the Agency's

DavidE

[falcon]

DavidE - So many points I had never considered. She is the sweetest most relaxed people I have ever met and we fit well. I have never considered things from her point of view, everything you say makes very good sense, I feel almost selfish, thanks

[Vince G]

Falcon, You hit the nail on the head, consider things from her point of view. When you hear there side of the story you realize what they go through. I got lucky with mine. I was the first to contact her as soon as the profile went up? But there was a few before that told me all about what's going on  behind the monitor. It's not easy for them either. Guys disappear? Say they're coming to meet and never show up? Agency pushing for money. And then being called liars because they don't have a computer?