Just blowing off steam

[Terryg]

If it is correct and the lady is married then are the agency to blame?   When she signed up with them she was probably free to marry.  

Maybe the agency did not know that she had gone and got married!   Maybe she has just gone to the agency and confessed.   Maybe the translators has got it wrong and sent the wrong message out.    

Too many maybe's here.  Problem is that many agencies do not remove ladies profiles from their listings when they do marry.  

If in the end we find that she has married then maybe it will be an idea to put her details on here as being married and no point in wasting EMF's to her.   We have in the past had a few scammers details put on here so why not these.

Out of interest I know of one real case here where a couple saved tens of thousands of rmb on an angency success fee as the woman was in fact still married.  Parted as far as agency was concerned, her contract with agency was cancelled, she went and got a divorce and they are now married and debt free.

Willy

Ok. I have been drinking quite a bit tonight bit here is what she told me in earlier letters. at lest what I can remember now. her last boyfriend was about 2000 or 2003, so when we started writing she was single. So that means she was single. She worked at a newspaper in hong kong. Brother in guangzhou. mother in zian, that is the basics, no mention of boyfriend if he was chinese or western. She also never mentioned a husband or ex but she did talk about a friend she usually went to eat with.  I suppose i will know tomorrow if she writes back. And no I did not write anything real bad. just how disappointed  I felt at not being told.  thank god for spell checker. And as I said before if i am wrong I will be in the dog house..But I will wait till tomorrow before I write to chnlove.Oh arnold not a case...Liter of absinth:icon_cheesygrin:

[Chong]

Terryg,

First off, welcome to the Forum.

Sorry to hear about your situation. We all hope that it's just a misunderstanding of communication.

I suspect that she got match in marriage based on the facts that you stated ... 1) her last boyfriend was either 2000/2003 ... [ thus there's marriage pressure from her family ] ... 2) she's been married for a couple of weeks now & she wants to remain friends.

 I also suspect that her family doesn't know that she's on ChnLove or that the agency had anything to do with her marriage. I'M ONLY GUESSING !!!

Hope it works out for you. Either way, this Forum is a support group ... abeit with so many opinions. Stay Cool ... stay away from the booze. If the worse news comes out, chalk it up to experience ... take time off and get back on the saddle.

All The Best.

[brett]

Hi Terry,

Sorry to read of your problems. Read my thread - you're not the only one with problems. It happens. Our lives are more important than our relationships.

In my case I suspect the agency found out there was something wrong with my lady - they actually deleted her from chnlove completely. That's strange because you'd have thought they would have hung around to get some big wodge of cash from me.

By all means complain to chnlove - I found them pretty good when I emailed them. I didn't get a response from the agency though, and as their contract is with the lady I guess they're under no obligation to tell us anything.

[Terryg]

Well I got it figured out, And guess what I have to do..................................APOLOGIZE x 1000 times..I am just glad that I did not say anything really bad. The translator misprinted. it was supposed to be worried not married.. My lady sent me a mail last night wondering why I was saying she had gotten married. So I told her what the letter said and she contacted the agency and translator. Once she told me what happened I wrote a letter to her and did some serious apologizing, The translator also wrote me apologizing to me so all is good again....I hope... Once I figure out how to post a pic I will let you single guys drool a bit :icon_cool:

[Arnold]

Ahhhh ... just as it was about to get interesting .. the dust settle's . :-/

Terry , glad you cleared that up and if needed .. we can all send our apologies to your Lady ... one at a time .:blush::blush::blush:

[David5o]

Arnold,

Apologise, apologise for what??  I Just re-read the posts on this thread, no-one has written anything detrimental towards this lady!!

All that was posted was based on the writers original post. Comments were based around the big (IF) as nobody knew what was going on....

David....

[Terryg]

I meant apologizing to my lady. sorry for the confusion David5o

[David5o]

Terryg,

I totally understood your last post Terry, i was referring to Arnold's post!! haha!!

Just glad everything turned out for the good in the end for you.... And also pleased to hear that the translator apologised to you, that was a hell of a mistake on her/his part. Perhaps they will realise how important it is to be accurate and take more care in there translations from now on....

David.....

[Arnold]

David , didn't Terry say he had to apologize to his Lady . We don't know what he said .. that he feels he owe her a 1000 apologies ? I only suggested to help back him up in front of his Lady . I never meant to do that to the Agency or Chnlove . They should slowly get their S**t together and eliminate those sometimes very costly mistakes .

[Chong]

Why should you have to apologize ? The translator was the one who screwed up major.

IMHO, I wouldn't trust that translator again. Now's a good time to ask for her personal email address / QQ number. You can still use EMFs but have a backup plan to contact her directly. The agency owes you that privilege.

All the best.

[maxx]

Terry I think Chong has the right idea here.(For a wannabe Chinesed Jinadian he gets it right.About once every three months.)If it was me I would work the translator over hard.To get your ladies direct contact information.Like Chonger said that is the least they owe you.

[JimB]

I would hit the agency up for everything I could get from them.  They may do nothing but at least you now have something to hook them with.  You have the translator by the short hairs.  Use it.  The least they should do is give you a free webcam visit to make sure everything is straightened out.  Then you can be forgiving and be the big man.  You dont get many chances like this.  Use it.

Jim

[David5o]

Terry,

As Chong suggested, go all out to acquire your ladies email address and QQ/ Yahoo/MSN messenger account information. If her English isn't too good, i'd ask for her agency controlled email address, This acts in exactly the same way as EMF's operate, except your not paying any credits for it's use...

Lay it on thick, that you almost ended your communication with your lady over this misinterpretation, and you don't want any chance for this to ever happen again!!

Best of luck in your endevours to make the most out of this windfall!! ...lol!!

David......

[Willy The Londoner]

In my case I suspect the agency found out there was something wrong with my lady - they actually deleted her from chnlove completely. That's strange because you'd have thought they would have hung around to get some big wodge of cash from me.

The one thing the agency is really frightened of is not us!! It is the law in China.  As many of us know the vast majority of the agencies do not have the approriate licence to introduce Chinese mationals to Foreigners.    

Oh yes we know that they can skip around that law but China is hot on any proven fraud.  The want to prove to the world that they are hard on offenders.  Purporting that a women is free to marry when they know she is not, is a fraud.   The agencies run sacred of that - I know as I have personal experience of it - to my benefit.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Terry,

well its nice to see that it worked out, but as Maxx has said Chong has gotten to his 3
month mark and has the right idea  hahahaha  get ALL of her personal info and ELIMINATE
the translator. now is the time to do it as you 2 have been writing now for a long time. then
you can really get to know each other first hand and not second hand. what agency was it
that had this translator do it?? as far as the pics that would be great but   think i can attest
to all the men here who have wives and or girlfriends we wouldnt be interested in how she looks
as we have found the one for us. and those of us married have found the best. but i am glad to
hear that you feel that way about yours as that will be felt by her in your actions and expressions
and to a good chinese lady that means more than all the money in the world.they just really want
someone to LOVE,RESPECT them as an equal and not like they are a second fiddle.

best wishes for the future with you lady

Ted (china ambassador) for the forum:icon_cheesygrin: