My Trip to China

[shaun]

Hi all,

So this is the point we are all hoping to get to.  As I begin to write this thread my pulse increases and my palms are a little sweaty.  Anticipation is beginning to grow as I leave in 4 days and I will see Peggy face to face for the first time in 5 days.

There is so much to do I don't know if I will get it all done.  Still have a lot of things to purchase.

Like almost everyone else I am starting this thread for the trip.  I hope to post many happy...  OK maybe 1 or 2 happy comments about my trip.

More later,   Shaun    4 days!!!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!!!!

[metooap]

Hi all,

Woo Hoo!!!!!!

Shaun,

I wish you great success on your trip!

Also though you may not need any sort of insight, here are a few thoughts that I have about first visits, if it is your first visit, that may help in some way:

"After we have spent much time effort and often dollars to find what we think is the right person and we setup our first visit, we may be overlooking some important points that hampers our success.

There is a specific set of protocols that more often than not should be followed that will help us steer away from trouble and achieve success. Although we may not talk about them, they are often unspoken -  yet there.

Sometimes as men - we may take things for granted and cause ourselves challenges. What we may see as important might not be as important as we think to our wives, fiancées and ladies.

So early on we may overlook things because we just do not know, we may be simply very excited, or we may just not have thought about some things.

Like when we initially go and see our lady have we thought about:

- what are the most important things to her? Why?
- have we discussed these things with her?
- why are we going to see her?
- what are our expectations ?
- what are her expectations? Engagement, marriage, just meeting?
- what outcome do we seek?
- what about her parents? will we meet them? have we discussed this?
- what about gifts - do we need to bring any, if so to whom?
- how can we put our best foot forward and not in our mouths?
- what should we do - must dos? Have we discussed this with her?
- what more often than not should we not do? Have we discussed this with her?
- what are some customs and or courtesies that we might not know about but will help us navigate through the maze?
- that will help us achieve success in our quest to find that special someone."

There are many things we can add to the list and share with each other to initially cut out some of the frustration and increase our success rate.

I know there are no absolute rights or wrongs. Yet if we think about some of these things that maybe we take for granted, we can help each other be better prepared to succeed.

What do you think?

Shaun, you probably have covered most if not all. If so - simply food for thought!

Have a fantastic trip!

Alton

[Willy The Londoner]

Hey Shaun

Am I missing something here?

Is there something important happening in the next 7 days or so?

Like top of the list.   Shave off the goatee!!!!!!!!!

Willy

[Irishman]

Best of luck Shaun we are all rooting for you!
I am sure you will be fine, just keep the 24 hour rule in mind at all times. The first trip this is more important than ever!

[JimB]

Shaun,
Have a good trip.  I hope everything works out better than you want.  Have a ball.   I will see you when you get back.  If you need anything just holler.

Jim

[trwme]

Good luck Shaun! Hope everything goes better than you hope. I'll be praying for a safe (and successful!) trip for you.

[Vince G]

I was going to wait till the last minute to post this but what the hell?

Wishing you best of luck on the trip, and you know we'll be here for you? But if there's a problem? Shaun who? :icon_biggrin:

[David E]

Shaun

I well remember my first visit to this magic place.....you will sure be blown away at it all...go with the flow, forget you are a Western man for a little while.....just dive in and...enjoy !!!

Privacy will be a faint memory, solitude does not exist, if you dont like people you are stuffed !!!

The sights, sound, smells and tastes will all be new and exciting....unless you allow yourself to yearn for what up to this point was a "normal life"...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

I know you will find Peggy is a unique character, with unique thoughts about life and love and a way of life that is relatively simple, but I also know she will be basically a happy person.....they all are !!

I only have one caution for you...the 24 hour rule....this may be OK when you are seperated by thousands of miles and with only the Internet between you.....you cant wait 24 hours to answer some question or query or issue......... It is not quite so easy when you are together in person to have a long "time out" to think about a response. Usually you only have a matter of minutes !!!!

I am sure you will get by in various forms of sign language, Besta, Chinglish and Chemistry...BUT, be quick to keep quiet if you dont quite understand what she wants to say...and be infinitely patient if she does not understand what you want to say !!

Lastly...sometimes a smile in Chinese is to hide an embarrassment....watch for the "pained smile".....its usually a crossed communication.....

Bon voyage........here comes the adventure of your life...nothing will ever be the same again !!!

David

[shaun]

Imagine the voice of Walter Cronkite.  "This just in, Shaun's mother approves of the trip and seeing Peggy.  His mother told him to let his hair down and have a good time."  His sister is beginning to warm up a little to the idea and wishes him well but seemed tense this evening as they discussed the matter.  She is however, not real happy with mom for blessing Shaun's trip  More as the story develops.  Back to you Ted."

Guy's thank you for all of the wonderful comments.  Alton, great advice. Yes I have discussed most with Peggy but you gave me a couple more to talk about.  Willy, what can I say?  The heart may be faster but the hand is to unsteady to shave right now.  Mike, Ronan, Jim, Roy thanks.  Vince you old scoundrel I'll remember you too when the time comes.  David E if I am half as lucky as you with finding the right woman, I will be blessed.

I only have one real issue right now.  I am stumped with this engagement red envelope I am to give to the mother.  I am a conservative when spending.  I do not want to give to much but I do not want Peggy to think she is not invaluable.  Will Peggy be insulted if I give her mother 5000RMB?  I think that isn't too much, I would be happy with 1000RMB but it may be more inline to give 10,000RMB.  If that is the right figure we will have to wait a little while.  The divorce is costing more than I imagined but to be finished by April 1 I am having to make more concessions.  Someone please help,  I just need a few guidelines.

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

To Be or Not to be - that is the question.

However in your case To Be(ard) or Not to Bea(ard).  

For 5000 rmb I will shave your whole body!!!!!!   Would you like to make an appointment Sir.  I can lather you all up!!!!!!

I would have thought on this first meeting 1000 would be nearer the mark.  My wife suggests no more than 3000 rmb. Then maybe a higher amount as you get to know her.

If you have doubts ask Peggy when you are there after all it may soon be both your money and not just yours!!!!!

Willy

[shaun]

Willy,

Uh... Well uh... I uh... You uh... Shave??? uh... Lather??? uh... :huh::blush: Oh the images... The horror...  Willy, I didn't know...  :s:s

I asked Peggy and she would not answer.  She didn't want to, I guess you might say jinx it.  It is my decision to make.

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

Well my wife says that 3000 would be very generous on the first meeting.  She also said that when you meet for the second time you will have a special place in her heart as she will have opened the envelope later in private.

Willy

[metooap]

I only have one real issue right now.  I am stumped with this engagement red envelope I am to give to the mother.  I am a conservative when spending.  I do not want to give to much but I do not want Peggy to think she is not invaluable.  Will Peggy be insulted if I give her mother 5000RMB?  I think that isn't too much, I would be happy with 1000RMB but it may be more inline to give 10,000RMB.  If that is the right figure we will have to wait a little while.  The divorce is costing more than I imagined but to be finished by April 1 I am having to make more concessions.  Someone please help,  I just need a few guidelines.

Shaun

Shaun

It seems like you and Peggy communicate very well. Why not ask her. Tell her your concerns about what you should do. You want everything to be right and to go well. She will give you her feelings. Then you read between the lines, and do what you think is best. But, try to get her thoughts. Then do.

I agree with all that has been said. You will be changed for life. So - go have some fun!

Have a fantastic trip.

Alton

[David E]

Shaun

Advice from Ming " Peggy has been married before.........her Mum would not expect a huge red envelope, even a very nice gift would do !!!"

But if you feel it better to give Mum some money........1000 RMB will be OK. In her typical Chinese way, Ming said that Men should not allow their families to expect more than they want to give....work that out !!!!

I think its called Chinese Logic...and I am in baby steps at the moment trying to figure it all out :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

David

[RobertBfrom aust]

Shaun , now the time is so close see if you can find a Besta electronic translator either near you or when you arrive as YOU WILL NEED ONE , unless your lady has done many years of English , many words just are not used in China and many words have 4 or 5 meanings so a conversation can be very confusing , plus talking to her friends or family who do not speak English , regards Robert