choices and advice needed

[Neil]

Haha.  Thanks Jeff.  She's a sweetheart isn't she?

[David5o]

Neil,

Now if i was 25 years younger, lived in Toronto Canada, was a free agent..... There would be only one choice.... Apart from being the better looking (my point of view), Speak English fluently ( God,....so,so important) Lives in my city (hopefully/probably) No high cost time consuming travel arrangements. ...It's a no contest, and a no brain'er, ....It would have to be Yang Yang!!!  I somehow get the impression that your leaning in that direction too ...hahaha!!

One lesson i learned a long time ago, ...Never complicate your life when there's no need too, and only then if there is no alternative!!

David...

[Neil]

Thing is, I know Yang Yang very well.  I've probably spent more time talking face to face with her than I have with Nina.  I was always completely honorable with her while I was with Nina and she was back in China before we completely split up, so for months she was nothing more than a good friend.  She was the same - friends only.  So now she drops this bombshell on me.  It's intriguing and I'm obviously attracted to her, but on the other hand...Brenda is a sweetheart and closer to my age.  Yang Yang is 28, Brenda is 30, Nina is 33 and I considered her to be the perfect age difference.

[David5o]

Neil,

Your talking about just 2 years difference between Brenda and Yang Yang!!!!!
Now tell me does that make a whole lot of difference?? There's only 5 years between the 3 of them.....  I've always said 10yrs is a good age limit difference, but in these circumstances what's a couple of years between friends ...lol!!!

Just think about the advantages, and you have to admit that Yang Yang makes much more sense than the other two, put together. ....As i said, as far as i would be conserned, it's an absolute no brain'er!!! ...haha!!

David

[ttwjr32]

i agree with David.  2 years Neil?? not a big difference at all. personally
you all ready have a good freindship with Yang Yang and it seems obvious
your both attracted to each other why complicate it with Brenda?? i would
go with Yang Yang and see how it progresses. but then again only you can
decide what you want to do

Ted

[Neil]

Well, I wrote Yang Yang a beautiful (if I do say so myself) love letter and asked her to be my girlfriend.  Unfortunately she turned me down.  She was very gracious about it, but it's not the right time in her life.  She wants to focus on her career.  She had her visa interview today and though she was very nervous about it, she passed as I knew she would.  She will be coming back to Canada next month.  

Nina came home today too.  The only way I know that is because she picked her plants on QQ Farm.  Pathetic eh?  She has time to steal food, but not write to me.  Guess that's a good enough indicator of her state of mind.

On the other hand, I've talked to Brenda on the phone once and we write letters every day.  Her English is pretty good, though there were a few times I couldn't understand what she was saying.  She has a tiny little musical voice and I could listen to her talk for the rest of my life, quite happily.  I plan to phone her every Saturday until I can go visit.  She's a teacher in a high school so I will arrange my vacation to coincide with her summer holidays.  My daughters are coming to visit at the end of June so I will head to China hopefully the first week of July.  I'll stay for two weeks.

[mustfocus]

Congrats Neil.  Glad to hear that you've cleared things up.  At least the uncertainty is gone.  Hopefully Brenda will turn out to be the one!

[ttwjr32]

ok im confused a few days ago she wanted to or was intersted in becoming
your girlfriend and possibly getting closer and now no??  but it does seem your
a little more smitten with Brenda so i guess it all worked out

[odysseus007]

Well, I wrote Yang Yang a beautiful (if I do say so myself) love letter and asked her to be my girlfriend.  Unfortunately she turned me down.  She was very gracious about it, but it's not the right time in her life.  She wants to focus on her career.  She had her visa interview today and though she was very nervous about it, she passed as I knew she would.  She will be coming back to Canada next month.  

Nina came home today too.  The only way I know that is because she picked her plants on QQ Farm.  Pathetic eh?  She has time to steal food, but not write to me.  Guess that's a good enough indicator of her state of mind.

On the other hand, I've talked to Brenda on the phone once and we write letters every day.  Her English is pretty good, though there were a few times I couldn't understand what she was saying.  She has a tiny little musical voice and I could listen to her talk for the rest of my life, quite happily.  I plan to phone her every Saturday until I can go visit.  She's a teacher in a high school so I will arrange my vacation to coincide with her summer holidays.  My daughters are coming to visit at the end of June so I will head to China hopefully the first week of July.  I'll stay for two weeks.

How can she turn down chocolate??? :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Just kidding... honestly, after they have been friends with you for ages, it is near impossible to convert them. Unless they've been secretly infatuated with you. Perhaps if you jumped in a vat of chocolate, she will change her mind?... Ah, life is a box of chocs.... and some are bitter!!! :icon_biggrin:

[Chong]

ok im confused a few days ago she wanted to or was intersted in becoming
your girlfriend and possibly getting closer and now no??  but it does seem your
a little more smitten with Brenda so i guess it all worked out

I was thinking the same thing.

Women ... you can't figure them out !!!

There's that old saying/thought ... Once the woman catches you, they're no longer interested.  :s

All the best with Brenda, she does look like a cutie. Is she about 5'2" I'm 5'7" and my wife's 5'2" ... a perfect fit.

[Neil]

Brenda is 5'3 and I'm 5'6.  I found Nina to be the perfect fit at 5'1, but I'm not complaining.  We'll see how well we fit.  :blush:

here, I'll quote her reply to my letter.  We are still very good friends and who knows, maybe one day...

Neil ,
 
I want to say until now i didn't think too much about our relationship and make a boyfriend with others. because i have big pressure... i want to support myself and i want to go to school, i want to buy luxury stuff ,i like to wear beatiful dress...but everything will give a man big stress. i want to  support  myself...now i don't have enough confident to be better...and i will make another effort one more year... just now i said if i want to marry a canadian man , i will choose you . but before i only hope we are friends. and i hope you can see other chinese girls ,they are so good...better than me. i am conservative and traditional girl . if one day fate coming ,both of us didn't find anther part in our life , we are together that is perfect. but now i still want to meet a chinese . you know English and culture background are very hard to me . i am not strong enough to thinking English and habit everyday . But  i think even if we are not a couple ,we will be the best friend. so please forgive me now , maybe one day the fate is coming.....
 
yang

[David5o]

Neil,

Seems to have been a translation misunderstanding along the line somewhere. Seems that she has now sorted that misunderstanding out for you...hahaha!!

So, unfortunately, (or fortunately) you are back to having to go back to traveling half way round the world again to be with your lady, and back to all the visa processes in the future ...Shame!!! lol!!!

David.......

[Willy The Londoner]

Dont confuse me with figures - I only have a metric tape measure here!!!

I am still struggling with the fact that the ages of the two remaining on the outskirts of Neil's life only just add up together to an age that is only just a little higher than mine.:blush:

Willy

[Bee964]

Neil,

I wish you the bast of luck with Brenda. I hope that everything works out for the two of you.

Dave C

[ttwjr32]

ah the wonder of some of the reasoning that women come
up with.

im 5'11" and Sara is 5'2" which is fine for me and she likes the
difference in our heights