All About China > Marrying A Lady In China

Engagement in China - and later marriage

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ttwjr32:
i to didnt have to pay a dowry to my wifes family and it was her first marriage. this is something that
is done by some or not at all by some families. also i believe were they are on the social ladder is also
a big factor in this as the poorer ones require it more so than the others

Hans:
I'm a bit surprised to see that quite a few of you were not required to pay a dowry. That's great. I feel a bit awkward about the whole thing, although I know I'm not "buying" myself a wife it does give me a strange feeling to pay my girlfriend's parents for their permission to marry their daughter. This is so far off from Swedish tradition that you can possibly get. Since she's already told me I am expected to pay I see no way around this. Although it is of course possible that it will be more of a gift as a gesture than a 10 000 € kind of gift... Time will tell!

shaun:
OK so I guess I am the schlep who is paying for his bride to be.  But Hans, you need to ask as I think David5o said.  If she and her family have certain expectations then you run the risk of offending her as I did Peggy.

Vince G:
This subject has been talked about allot. I'm surprised by guys that are shocked having to pay the family? The western word dowry means property or money brought by a bride to her husband on their marriage. Guys aren't shocked over this? Hans, I'm not pointing a finger at you just giving a generalization.

I think the worry should be more of the amount rather then the giving of.

ttwjr32:
hey schlep,

dont worry about it its all in the learning process and by the way were is the care package  lol!!!!!

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