Hello guys
Firstly thank you for the Pm's and messages... Tne thing about me is "I MAY BE DOWN AT THIS MOMENT, BUT, I AM NOT OUT!!!" I want to tell you about this whole thing....so here goes...
Before I went to China, I was saving up as best I could, being on the sickness benifit in the uk. Possibly like the rest of the Western world, you do not get paid much, so you will probably understand what I'm talking about. Me and Sopie spoke for a few months, as you all know, but it got to the stage were she thought I was not going to visit her. I explained the money situation to her but it did not seem to 'sink' in. Anyway, she told me that if I did not go there within a certain time, there was a good chance that i would lose her!!! She looked absolutely gorgeous too me and there was no way i was going to pass up tis opportunity. My 'Sponsor' got in touch with me and offered to pay for my flight, at first I refused (I think that's right mate wasnt it?), but then it got offered again, which I accepted...
Just before I left, my 'washing machine' sprang a leak. So I thought, not to worry, the kids can get it sorted while I'm away. So off I go on my adventure. In my mind there was the stress of hopefully changing the mothers and families mind abot her choice of partner. Once I got into Qingdao, there was the worry, 'WOULD she really be there to meet me? For the first 5 weeks everything was good between us, a couple of little niggly things to sort out, for example, the 'feeding' when you've had enough, and the not listening/hearing to what is being said.
While I was there ALMOST daily I would receive texts from home from the kids saying things like, 'he done thise.....she done this!..... dad gonna tell him/her!!!.... Then there where the phone calls fom them. On top of this, there was the texts and phone calls from the neighbours and friends telling me, my daughters dog was barking all night, or gonna get them to turn the music down etc etc etc...
You already heard the story about me and Sophie - about the Single certificate and going to the wrong place. Once we got to Beijiing to get the certificate, the next day we got the certificate paid, and I got refused to withdraw money from my account. which was sorted when we got back to Zhucheng.
Sophie had gotten the place where we lived, so we did not have to stay at her moms. We had no television, no radio, the only time I could listen to music was through the earphones on the computer, and you all know how 'old' 'bad' my machine is hehe I did not like ALL the food, I did not understand the language, no one to speak too, Sophie was at work all day. We had no hot water, no shower, no proper cooking facilities. So maybe now you will understand my earlier post about missing the Western way of life.
The night before I was to fly back, she 'talked' me out of coming, so I ripped the ticket. Well you know this story. The next morning once I had woken up, the ticket pieces had been taken out of the bin and put into the drawer, Sophie contacted me through yahoo and told me it was there. For a couple of days, all that was being said to me was, 'you should go back to Scotland for your kids. By this time it was too late.
The day I left you know the story and about Beijing. and the Brittish Embassy. What I never told you was this part. Once the train reached Weifang on the way back to Zhucheng, I inquired about the cost of the bus ticket, I did not have enough money on me. It was 06.30 am so i went and looked for the Bank of China, I knew I had 45 rmb in my account, so I assumed I would be able to withdraw it over the counter....Once the bank opened at 09.00am I went in, and spoke to one of the managers, upshot, I could NOT withdraw that amount. So I was 'Stuck', I wandered the streets for an hour thinking of my options. I eventually saw someone using their phone, so I asked if I could phone Sophie, after explaining my position to them, they agreed. So i phoned her, she told me to wait ther she would be a couple of hours. Once I put the phone down I was speaking to this person and Sophie rang back, this women spoke to her for a few minutes and then as i was leaving, she pushed the phone towards me saying it was for me. It was Sophie, she asked me WHO this woman was and then said again to wait for her.
About 2 hours later, Sophie turned up. Her ONLY concern was how I was!! Was I tired? was I hungry? Nothing else mattered to her as long as I was ok. We went and got the bus, and it was here she told me that her mom was very angry at her...NOT ME!!! BUT HER..THIS I will never understand. But because she was so angry Sophie decided that her mother no longer approved, so we had to finish it, and she was moving back to her moms house on the 31st October. This was when i got onto the brotherhood for help I think. Not sure, my head is still not with it. On hearing what the brothers had said, I REALLY started to panic then.
For the next couple of days there was a tention in the house - to be expected after what i done. The third day, Sophie done what I knew she needed to do, she broke down (I hadn't stopped, everything was going through my head). NOW I AM NOT SAYING THIS TO GET SYMPATHY OR ANYONE TO TAKE MY SIDE, AFTER WHAT I HAD DONE, I DESERVED EVERYTHING I GOT.
The morning I was leaving, Sophie left to go to work and just said to "Bye Rob" and walked out the door. I walked to the window to watch her walking away, and 5 minutes past and she still had not been seen. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, I answered it, it was Sphie, we BOTH fll into each others arms and cried, then kissed and cried some more, then she left. As I watched her walking away my heart was tearing i saw her turn round 3 times to look for me, all I could do was wave and blow kisses. That was my LAST view of her. 15 minutes later, I locked the door and went for the taxi
The following morning after spending the night in the airport, I was still rather upset, knowing what I had done. I went to the information desk to see about my ticket, I was sent to 4 different sections, at each one I was told, 'No Sir, your section is L, F, C, H. After going to H and was being sent to section B, I went for a smoke. I stood outside and started talking to myself, I said "If I have fucked up, this thing about the ticket, i am just going to jump off here", it was about 150 metres high. When I went to the desk, i threw my laptop down in anger but everything was ok at this section, and I got back.
Once back in Barrow and after speaking to my son, I plugged the computer in, guess what, the screen has cracked, so i am using only less than half of it right now. The next day, I used the washing machine, it was only a little leak before I though. once it started and was going, the drum split and flooded the place. After i mopped it up I went for a walk to clear my head.
Once back I prepared the dinner and put it on, went into the living room too check the football results and heard a BANG. The cooker blew up. NOW I KNOW THIS SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE. I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY AND MY GRANDCHILDRENS LIFES, THIS REALLY HAPPENED.
If I was to jump from the highest tower in the world, to try and commit suicide, with my luck, I would land on a mattress. Today I went to the doctors, she is going to sort me out. So for the next few weeks, I may not be in here as often, so don't worry. It WILL take time for me to heal..
Concerning Sophie, Nothing is over until the fat lady sings, I am not giving up this easy...If I am right, things may work out given time..
See you later guys...
