All About China > Share your love story
How is having a baby when you're older?
Wilfred Motosue:
Much thanks for the heads-up about my possiblity of having defective sperm. Yes, I've read before about older guy's sperm do have deteriation as they have aged. Just like the women's egss. That's what I'm a little afraid of. I have frozen my sperm and the nurse said at that time that i do have swimmers but now I know that those Olympiams could be mutant swimmers! Yikes, that's big surprise. I will have them checked out as I wanted to do already but now I know the reason why. I will do invitro fertilization to get my fiancee pregnant too. My fiancee just made 34 years old so her eggs and body will probably be okay, but it's me that I am worried about and so i want to go to a very good clinic to do this so that they have the latest and uptodate methods to do the sperm and egg checking and invitro process. i guess you call this genetic testing? Someone asked if I knew that this is expensive? Yes I was told by a friend who just did it. He's 57 and she was 42 and just got triplets! Yikes, I think he got too much for his money.
I was okay with not having any children before she started to bring this subject up again, although that was my original reason for looking for a younger person - being able to have kids. but now she is brought this up again and she gave me good reasons I think why she wants to have a baby between us. She did say that if I don't want one then it will be okay with her. She is concerned if we can affford a child or not because she doesn't want to have a big problem (financial) for our family or for her if I should go soon. I have told her that we will be able to afford this child if we are able to conceive one and that if i shall go early, she will be able to support our family herself so now she is not scared anymore. I want to make her happy , if having this baby is what she wants, because she s going to make me happy by marrying me and being with me, and making me happy every day for hopefully as long as I live, learning a new language and she is making a big move in her life to come to Hawaii to be with me. She already has a good life with a nice family, many friends and a good job so she doesn't have to go and be with me in the US. For those things , I am grateful. That's why i am thinking about doing this but I want to go in with our eyes wide open.
i hope that makes some sense.
Thanks again.
Wilfred
Wilfred Motosue:
Wow, those are very good examples of how it might take a toll on me. Kind of shook me in my chair. I had to read it over and over. Robert, my friend who is 64 yrs old , has quite a bit of funds, retired officer, in good physical shape, wife is only 36 and have a 1 year old and trying for another said that it's not bad taking care of his boy with the wife. Do you think if you had only 2 kids and retired with a good pension, it would be a lot easier. At least don't have to go to a 8-4 job everyday.
Thanks for that vivid description of what it feels like. It really made me think again, that's for sure.
Wilfred
Pineau:
That's a real tough one. Especially if you have never had any of your own. Your probably thinking the marital bliss that you are experiencing will be enhanced and completed with the addition of a child. This is by no means a prediction or a put down of your potential parenting but just consider the possibilities.
I have 5 of my own. I have raised an additional two that belonged to someone else. I now have a new 10 year old daughter that I may not live to see graduate. So I think I can speak with a little authority.
Kids are not all googoo- gaga and adorable cute. They of course have their precious moments but 99% of the time they are hard work and a pain in the butt. They are going to demand your time, effort, money, sleep and commitment from the time they leave the womb. If you re 20 to 30 years old you just take it in stride and endure it but at age 60 plus you are going to be worn out ALL THE TIME. This goes on for what seems forever but at age 6 or 7 you start to get a little relief. They can change their own clothes and fix their own peanut butter sandwich. And if your intimidating enough they may even make their bed and help mom around the house but don't count on it. Kids are inherently lazy about housework and would rather go play. you had better learn to count to three cause your going to be doing it a lot. But the relief is short lived. They soon become young adolescents with a mind of their own. It is now on the eve of their teens you begin to realize the real work has just begun.
Get ready for......
bad grades
eyeglasses.
immunization.
homework
fights
fights without taking off your eyeglasses.
arguments
bedtime
backtalk
sleepless nights
bed wetting
measles, mumps, chickenpox,
headlice.
naps
tantrums
tantrums in the store
tantrums in church
piano
gymnastics
what do you mean, your pants don't fit?
I just bought those shoes last month!
band
football
basketball
smoking
drugs
it's not mine. it belongs to a friend.
I don't do drugs, honest
Mr. M this is the sheriffs department. We need you to come down to the station.
I don't have to listen you you.
I'm not a child. I am old enough.
I do what I want. Fuck you dad!
Rehab.
college... take a deep breath.
now let it out.
community college 9,000 per year
a good school, 35,000 per year.
there goes your 401k.
what the heck, you almost done.
dating,
marriage,
grand kids.
are you even going to be around for the last chapter?
OK, I have spewed enough. Dont take offense but seriously, it is a lot of work and at your age I doubt that you can handle it. And I dont think you will be around to finish it.
So ask yourself and your wife. Are you up for the marathon of a lifetime? Do you have the endurance to pull it off? Does she realize that she will probably complete the task without you? Can she do it? Will you leave her debt free with enough resources so she can pull it off? If you answer no to any of these questions then you should consider dropping the subject and put your efforts into enjoying the marital bliss and not spoiling it. You've worked hard all you life you deserve to relax and enjoy life for a change.
David E:
And just to scare you half to death Wilfred.......
Do a Google or Wickepedia on "Tellomeres or Gene Tassellation"....then you will see just what is happening to a 60 yr old as far as gene integrity goes...and the possible consequences.
This is not a shot at you personally...it happens to all of us when we get beyond 50 or so.
Willy The Londoner:
--- Quote from: David E on August 08, 2011, 05:07:48 am ---And just to scare you half to death Wilfred.......
Do a Google or Wickepedia on "Tellomeres or Gene Tassellation"....then you will see just what is happening to a 60 yr old as far as gene integrity goes...and the possible consequences.
This is not a shot at you personally...it happens to all of us when we get beyond 50 or so.
--- End quote ---
Ok David E
Been to the pages on wickipedia. Now I got twenty year or so maybe for you to explain to me what it all means.???
My genes are a couple of sizes smaller now due to my weight loss.
Willy
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