All About China > Understanding Chinese Women

Chinese Women and Money?

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Arnold:
Sly, I'm sure you're not alone in this. Remember, chinese Women are used to being taken care of by the Man and mostly "expect" that especially from a western Husband. I see it in Qing's family and her friends families here in the States.
One of the reasons for Liyan to try to safe her money is/can be for many reasons. One being for security in a foreign land, also for future Trips back to see Family she's left behind. I know, us as western Men.. hence Women here like to be like "Men".. we of course expect them to carry at least half the weight.. money wise and other problems equally. This is now, where you realize that you are married to a chinese and can not expect her to change on the dime. This can of course turn out slowly that this issue get's resolved over time or it will cause her to think.. you're not living up to you "Part" of the Relationship as a Husband. These are hard facts you're faced with and must be very careful how you handle this situation at hand. You need to sit down and map out an overall Budget that clearly shows to both of you.. where exactly both of you are and where you're going if it does not get taken care of. Be Patient, it doesn't pay your bills.. but it will safe your marriage.

Sylvain D:
Thanks for your fast reply, Arnold ;)
I know that Liyan must save some money to send in China later or to give later for her Papa, so that he can have a happy life when being "retired"?
Well, one of the only ways to have big money, would be me to be millionaire. I guess I should buy only one lucky ticket... and beginning to feel more "secure".
I will think about other ways tonight, many things to think about anyway, nights are short, days are long, but well.... that's life :)

maxx:
Sly what Arnold posted is the best answear that Iv'e seen.At some point and time we all face this problem.How you and your wife work this out will.Determine the rest of your relationship with your wife

Jason B:
This is correct Sly, get a budget worked out, show her all the workings and how she maybe able to contribute somewhere.  A little bit maybe helpful and both of you can have a feeling of contributing together.

Xia does not work as she is looking after the baby and did not before she was pregnant, but every ones situation is different.  I know she is tighter than a fishes backside when it comes to money.  She looks at it just as Arnold said, I am the man I work therefore I take care of her.  She has access to all of our accounts and does not touch them but leaves it upto me to pay the bills etc and most come out electronically - mortgage, insurance, car repayments etc. maybe something to look into and to pay weekly/fortnightly so all know where the money is going and the bills are not so much each time.

But then again she still has in her wallet a $100 note she got given and wont part with it.....

Sylvain D:
Thanks again for comments.
Well, the situation is better actually @ home :)
Talking with Liyan and arguing that there is no need to talk a bit "loudly" about important things such as money, maybe helped to solve the problem before yesterday, at night.
Plus, when I'm angry or fed up about something, I can not so easily talk, then I need to think about something else, I don't really know how to explain, but well... we've talked about money's problem, it was not easy at first, then, seeing that there was as a wall in our talking, I decided to stop about that and went sleeping.
As old saying says : "Night provides good advises".
The fact is, yesterday morning and at night, everything was ok. Liyan told me she agreed what I said and that she could help, too.
Now, that problem is over, and that's very good.
It just seems that my wife, chinese wife, can better understand me than some any other westerner woman would... crazy, isn't it?

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