All About China > Understanding Chinese Women

How to convince wife to seek help

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yvictor:
Dumbo,

I am really sorry to hear about your problems. I had a similar problem with my ex-wife, in terms of trying to convince her to seek help.ee
In her case violence was not an issue, but she was suffering from depression and alcoholism.
I tried for years to convince her to seek help.
In the end I just gave up and divorced her - she only went to treatment at that point.
It was good for her to go since she got her alcohol problem solved, but way too late for our relationship.

Based on my personal experience, if I have to deal with anything like this next time around my strategy will be to bail out as fast as I can, since I don't believe it is worth try to fix such a bit issue, life is too short and we need to move on.
This is just my 2 cents - sorry if I'm sounding too negative, but wanted to tell you about my experience.

(After the above experience I remarried, my new wife is Chinese (my ex was not). That's what attracted me to this forum, reading about other people's experiences with Chinese fiancees and wives. I know this is off-topic, but since this is my first post I thought I'll say it here anyways - I like a lot the topics on this forum!).

Victor

Scottish_Robbie:
Yvictor welcome mate :D

yvictor:
Thanks, Scottish_Robbie, it is good to be here :-)

Arnold:
I also Welcome you Victor and appreciate anything you can offer our Member's , that can help in any way towards future Relationships .

2hip:
I congratulate you on your handling of a very difficult and disturbing topic.  You are a better man than I am.  I understand that you have bonded to the boy.  That is gut wrenching to think about bailing out.  But at some point you need to address that very issue of "when is it enough".  Do you understand the mental and physical toll it is taking on you?  It is a very disturbing situation.

If she has serious mental health issues they may never be cured.  You will just become numb to her erratic behavior and become a shell of a man.  I would tell her there are no options left for the two of you.  Either she gets into evaluation and then treatment or it is quits.  You can not go around your life waiting for the next IED device to go off and maime you.  This will also cause problems for the boy later on his life when he imprints this behavior into his catalogue of life in marriage.

My hat is off to you.  This is a freaking nightmare.

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