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New to this and not sure what to expect

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kevster4355:
Nez,
In my experience, this is common. After all, you are both supposedly looking for someone to spend your life with. During the two years that I was looking for a mate, I had similar conversations with 3 women. All were very open and promising. The first found a love in China. The second, I doubted our compatibility. The third, I thought was the love of my life.
The agency (ChinaLove) in Shenyang set up a QQ video call in their office. We talked for an hour. Everything appeared on the up and up. We continued to send emails through the agency for several months. She continued to encourage me with talk of marriage and our happy life together. I cultivated a relationship with the translator by sending notes at the end of our emails. This proved invaluable.
I went to Shenyang for 3 weeks. After 1 day with the “love of my life” it was apparent that it was not going to work. No how, no way. I was devastated, and I was alone in China for 3 weeks. I went to the agency and the translator walked me through their portfolio of women. She was very forthcoming about; “She looks nothing like her picture. You could never have enough money for this one.” She led me to a woman that she said, “only wants her happiness.” Based on her knowledge of the two of us, we planned a meeting the next day. Frankly, I thought that at least I had someone to spend time with. Long story short, we spent the next 3 weeks together and loved every minute of it. I returned 6 months later, for 3 weeks, and we were married.
 I am not trying to throw water on your fire. I am saying, expect the unexpected. There is nothing to compare to, or prepare you for that first face to face meeting. I don’t know how the site works that you are using, but the translator at the Shenyang ChinaLove agency was highly instrumental in our success. Today, the translator and I still send letters to our private emails and discuss life. She has become a good friend of my wife. From what I read here, this is uncommon, but I think it is worth mentioning.

Arnold:
It actually is not that uncommon, still being Friends with ones Translator. I think/guess it to be at least 25%-50% for the ones that are now married. Also many have made also many Women friends along the way too, including myself. I still write to two of the Translators and two Sister's, as I like to call them. Why burn a Bridge that is build on good foundation?

Nez:
Just thought I would give a small update here since you guys were kind enough to give some advice. Maybe in future I might make a thread about it in another part of the forum if things go well and tell some of the story, but I guess this is related here for now.

Anyway, things have settled down a bit on the serious stuff - we both still mention it sometimes, which is actually quite nice to be honest, but I think we are just enjoying getting to know one another at the moment.

Tonight she mentioned chatting via webcam, because she is teaching me a bit of the chinese language (I think in case I meet her parents one day), and it would be better of course to be able to hear the pronunciation. I mentioned skype to her but I don't think she has it, but I think she will be happy to get it onto her computer - she is going to look into it anyway.

I think the part of this that's giving me confidence (although I'm still treading cautiously) is that there is no communication via the dating site at all. We are just communicating through our own means (email and MSN so far, but probably skype/webcam soon) - but I think if she wants to get webcam going then there is no concerns I am talking to someone else - which is something I was worried about.

Anyway, I appreciate all the advice you guys have given. It's helped me to relax about the initial conversations, and it's all actually made sense to me.

Here's hoping something nice is around the corner. If not I'll just try again I suppose   :)

Nez

Arnold:

I think the part of this that's giving me confidence (although I'm still treading cautiously) is that there is no communication via the dating site at all. 

Nez, you know that most of the Guy's dealing with the Agencies/Websites would love to be in your position, as they are sometimes/most of the time unsuccessfully trying to get away from them and GET direct communication.
Just keep on the positive side in front of your Lady/Girl and you'll be alright.

Mikael_Shim:
Having ben in China for 1.5 years now and still living hre with no plans of ever returning to the "Safe Harbour" of Sweden. All i can say to reply your topic. Expect the unexpected. Other then that, use your head (before your heart) and you will be fine.

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