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A Chinese Christmas in Australia

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Peter Arnold:
Hi guys, It has been a long time since I have been on this site. I had to unhook from my obsession of finding a Chinese woman. It was too painful as I felt like I had hit a real dead-end.
I was out of work for nearly 6 months here in my home town. And I experienced upheaval in my renting situation. I spent some months living in temporary accommodation. I spent 1 month living in an old bus at my good friends house, and 1 month at my sisters.

But I managed to turn my life around and have had work ever since. Unfortunately it has been bathroom renovations for a niece, and 2 bathrooms for a good friend whom I built a kitchen for 13 years ago. The work has almost killed me. Being down on your hands and knees at 57 takes its toll. I have had to have chiro, physio and now acupuncture work to remedy my RSI, tennis elbow and back problems. I hit the wall about 6 weeks ago. The acupuncture has been the most successful. They inject a saline solution to prolong the effect on the meridian. I call it super-charged Acupuncture.

I finally got in the right space to ask my Chinese masseuse out on a date. I have since discovered that there are many men waiting in the wings to be in her life. I had a very pleasant evening with her, but she explained that as her daughter is expecting in January, she does not want to be in a relationship as this would distract her from looking after her daughter.
My problem was that I was very fond of her. She is such a sweet, caring, sensitive woman. That is why so many men want her in their life. When I was at her massage clinic, there was a guy behind me, also wanting a massage from her,  who was also fond of her.   

I will try and cut to the chase. I was still on QQ talking with some female friends, when my previous lady came on and asked if I would teach her some relevant English for her yoga class as she had some Israeli students staying in Harbin. So I agreed, and we got on fine. Then one evening I told her I would like to meet her in Guilin as it looks like a beautiful city. She told me that she wanted to come to Australia to teach her yoga, and asked me if she could come and stay with me.

I still have a soft spot for Candy ( no pun intended). I could feel her pulling on my heart strings, so I said we could try and get her a 3 month tourist visa, and see if we can make a go of it together.The good news is that with my experience and ingenuity, and her good luck, we were granted a 3 month visa last week. I was so thankful to the visa officer. His name was Anthony, and we couldn't have gotten a nicer guy. I think the women are too strict.
I sent photos of Candy and I together in Harbin, a copy of my flight itinerary, and my receipt for the engagement ring I gave her. I told them we were still engaged, which wasn't untrue. They rang her after only 3 weeks, and then asked me to ring her case officer. That was quite an ordeal to get the phone extension from Candy, otherwise it is impossible to get through to a real person in Shanghai immigration.

The other process that was very frustrating was sending money using Western Union. When I sent money using the online process, they ask for their first name and last name. I know it sounds obvious, but to me, their first name is their last, and vice versa. Her full name as it appears on her identity card is CHAI CUIXIA. It would be simpler if they asked for their family name and given name to simplify things.
What made it harder for me was that I first went to the Post Office and filled out a form. I gave the wrong name as I thought she had a middle name. I put CHAI CUI XIA. When she tried to redeem the money, they said no way sweetheart, even though she had the transaction number.
Then the second time I sent it as CUIXIA CHAI. Then I thought, I have got it wrong as this is not the way it appears on her identity card, so the efficient Indian call centre woman changed it to CHAI CUIXIA. But it was wrong again.
So eventually it sunk in that her ' first name' means her given name, and her 'last name' means her family name.  Maybe I always make it harder than it really is!
But she eventually got the money to pay her very king nephew back for the visa application.
Candy is very, very excited and happy to be coming here. I am also looking forward to it. I have planned many day trips and a few days camping at my ex- brother-in-laws caravan park on the Nymboida river in northern NSW. She will have Christmas with my family. I haven't broken the news yet. I told Candy that it will be my jiejie (older sister) she will have to impress and get past . I also told her my mother is a tough nut to crack. I am sure she will 'sweet talk' her way through the process.
So we are having  'Chinese' for Christmas.
Sorry this letter is so damn long. I had to condense 6 months of my life into writing.
I also landed the best rental accommodation I  have ever had. I live in a separate 2 bedroom  granny flat with an 84 year old landlord living in his separate  house . I also have my own gazebo to entertain on.
This man has no children and never married, and wants to include me in his will when he passes. So, if I am still here when he passes, I can buy the property at a considerably reduced rate, and rent the granny flat or house to pay any mortgage I need.
Okay, enough. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Wish me luck.

Scottish_Robbie:
Hi peter, nice story mate with a good ending..Best of luck buddy  ;D

Robbie

Willy The Londoner:
I don't want to be the one to put a damp towel on this but take care.  I think that the way I read it her one intention is to get to Australia and you have supplied the ideal and apparently successful way.  I hope I am wrong for your sake.

I just have a nagging feeling that you should not read too much into her intentions.  From what you say it seems like she is more intent in getting into Australia to teach her Yoga than to restart the relationship with you but I could be wrong. 

I really wish you well as you are going through a time in your life when you could be vunerable. I know at your age I was going through the same sort of process.   Fifteen years later I think about those times and the mistakes I could have made.  Luckily I had an older friend on hand who put me right.

Christmas, she will not know what to do.  As this is her first trip outside of China then forget the Turkey and all the trimmings, it may look nice but the chances it will probably not be to her taste. They are foods she has probably not experienced.  During the hectic Christmas period you are going to have to make sure that there is rice and foods that she is comfortable with.

If her English is not very good then she is going to be left stranded while everyone around her is chatting.  Christmas is not going to be the exciting time you imagine it is going to be. 

The sending money worries me.  Unless she has just finished education, in which case she would be far too young for you, then I know of very few women in China that do not have a sum of money in the bank or tucked under the mattress. I have a feeling that you also paid for her flight to Australia.  I wonder how many Chinese relatives/friends she has been in contact with awaiting her arrival.

As I say I do not want to be the one to cast doom and gloom over things but take care and be prepared for the let down that others of your age have suffered in such circumstances.

But there again I am an eternal pessimist.

Willy

Peter Arnold:
Hi willy. Thanks for your comments. This woman is 53 years old. She gets about AU$200 a month on her pension.
She has very little savings, as she had to submit these details in her visa application. So to me, the money for the visa application was small change for me.
Yes, she would like to live in Australia and her passion is to teach yoga, which she is very good at. I have been to her classes and seen her students. We all have desires and needs and wants, and I do not have an issue with this.
But of course it has to work for me as well. I will not be in a relationship if I do not feel that we are supportive of each other. I am not in a hurry to be locked into a permanent relationship if there is no chemistry or if I do not feel support and love from a partner.
I also have a part of me that is wary of being used as a meal ticket.
I am very aware of how she may feel in the company of my family and friends when she cannot speak English. I spent many grueling hours with her family in Harbin. So I will endeavor to make sure she is being included and take her aside to check in with her.   

Willy The Londoner:
That sound good Peter. 

The age is ideal so I wish you all the best in the coming togetherness.

A lady of that age will realise more than others the importance of a good man.

Willy

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