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Debt and restrictions?
Martin:
Well, I gotta get in my half cent....well said!
Willy The Londoner:
--- Quote from: 1mansopinion on January 04, 2013, 09:58:19 am ---
TRUST ME ON THIS. THEY WANT TO ENJOY THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR – NOT THEIRS. The western way of sharing the household bills and expenses does not apply here in China. Here in China, it’s what’s his is hers and what’s hers is…well – hers, too.
And as far as her loving you – that’s fine and all, but she’s not kidding. She may love you (in as much as the Chinese know what true love really is), but like I always tell my buddy, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” The filial duty she has for her parents and family will come first over her feelings of love for you. Love can’t pay those hospital bills. Love don’t pay da rent.
--- End quote ---
Well that is some writing but probably gives a true picture. My Dad who was in China for a couple of years before WW2 always said that the Chinese considered ' What is mine is mine what is yours is ours.' That is really true. Many people are just about coping back in the western world at the present time. Tell a Chinese woman that when she gets to your home country that she can work and you can then live well. She will immediately think. That you need her so that YOU can live better but she will be no better off than she is now if she puts all her money into a joint pot. Let a man fall into hard financial times and the woman is unlikely to stick around so that her earnings can be used to save the day but leave her penniless.
The other thing is “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” I have not been here quite as long as 1mansopinion but I am going through only my fourth winter here but I do of course live in one of the smallest city's in Guangdong and I have far less contact with other 'foreigners' but I can understand the point he is making. A Chinese woman needs to feel that she is going to be better off with a foreigner than standing still or taking a step back. That will be the deciding factor in 'to love or not love'.
Thinking about finding a Chinese wife then put away those rose tinted glasses. But unlike him I say spend that $1000 on a ticket and come here and see and meet. You can Skype as long as you like but you will not know until you meet face to face. You both may say I love you but once together she will assess you by what your wearing and what you spend etc. I say get to know each other face to face before deciding. I was fortunate that I was able to court my wife almost daily for5 five months before we married.
I can afford to live here and live well as I am now into a pension that is subject to increases in line with regular standard of living rate in the UK. What I spend per month on a good life here is far less than I would have to spend in the UK on a lesser life style. But If I suddenly did not have that income then I am under no illusion that my wife would never maintain me in the manner I have become accustomed to. More likely I would be left to fend for myself. We have seem or heard of members on here who themselves have suffered that fate.
Willy
shaun:
--- Quote ---But If I suddenly did not have that income then I am under no illusion that my wife would never maintain me in the manner I have become accustomed to. More likely I would be left to fend for myself.
--- End quote ---
That is not different than many Western women. I don't care what society you choose to marry into there are no guarantees.
Willy The Londoner:
Your missing my point Shaun.
We know it can and does happen in any country but men come here and other Asian countries and are overwhelmed by the reception they receive and get to think that they are God's gift to women. When they are not.
Gods gift to women is the better lifestyle you can give to them not you as a person but in financial terms. You being Chinese or Foreigner it makes no difference. More than most Chinese women are more realistic about this. Love will rarely overcome that fact in a Chinese Woman's eyes.
As they say it is better to weep in a BMW than smile on the back of a bike. We joke about that but there is a hell of a lot of truth in it.
Willy
Pineau:
In general I will agree with the points he is making. But there are exceptions. Women here want to better themselves by what ever means possible. Your only advantage is that you probably have a sounce of income double or tripple the average chinese guy and that you have been brought up to respect women. This is a winning combination here with women that have worked all their lives and been cheated on lied to and swindled by their husbands. Compared to a chinese man your a saint with a paycheck. There are exceptions where true love rules, and your loved for just being kind and loving, but it dont pay the bills. In the end when the ether wears off you need to be able to support the lady or she will be very disappointed. I like to think of my wife as an exception and truley believe she is to some extent. She did spend all her money and max out her credit cards when I was hospitalized with a burst blood vein in my stomach. She was there day and night taking care of everything and ready to beg or borrow whatever it took to put me back together. I greatly aprectiate what she did for me. She probably saved my life a couple of times. She never asked me to pay here back, but it has paid her back in spades. She is now in the USA and set for life. I am not shure what she was thinking when she struggled to keep me alive but I like to think that it was all motivated by love and dedication.
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