All About China > Share your love story
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JohnB:
hey Smaug,
don't take anything here personally. every member has their own story, but our common denominator is 'difficulty'. think of all what is said here as 'practice'. bringing a China woman & child to America is not an easy task. your story is very unique, but everything you do must past the scrutiny of U.S. Immigration.
my own journey was one day shy of 7 months. I had no encumbrances.
the thing is when you decide to go forward with your adventure, make sure all 'you' & 'yours' personal information is current. every article of evidence necessary for her immigration, translated & notarized, will be reviewed & disseminated. one error will cost you dearly...money, time, your sanity. if you satisfy the USCIS (Homeland Security) then the next step is the NVC (National Visa Center). basically, your 'means of support'.
personally, I have no doubts about your sincerity. somehow you found your China love and you realize something wonderful is happening within you.
the members here only wish you success. they do not wish to monkey wrench you. please don't take exception to what is written. think of it as a reality check. the first thing is, is to be honest with yourself. then be honest with your women. you need to formulate your own plan, stick with it, & prepare yourself for long duration without her near. when you are successful, all the difficulties you encounter will make your life proportionally that much better.
I wish you, good luck
Smaug:
--- Quote from: Willy The Londoner on January 26, 2013, 09:22:28 pm ---You have everything worked out! That is arrogance to think that the way you are thinking will be the way everyone else will follow. The lady the US authorities etc etc. You think that if you talk long enough then people will take your opinion as theirs.
--- End quote ---
Geez, so now you know what I'm thinking too? I think my lady will follow because she said she will. The US authorities, I'm not so sure, but my current wife (soon to be ex) is Polish, and I brought her here, got her a green card, and then citizenship. So maybe this time will be harder due to my past? But one can hardly say that she used me to get a passport, since we were married for 8 years and had a baby together...
--- Quote ---Does the US issue lifetime visas. I thought they were for specific times and occasions. Plus you want her to pay for the air fares? Are you not going to re-emburse her when she arrives?
--- End quote ---
The US issues tourist visas for one year max. No, I don't want her to pay for the airfare, but my lawyer told me she has to, since my money is technically "family money" until the divorce is final. Also, even before I heard that, she would not hear of it.
--- Quote ---Plus you are thinking this women loves me so she will put up with me having no spare money, renting a home etc etc.
--- End quote ---
Geez, you guys talk like renting instead of owning makes me trailer trash or something... Millions of normal honest people do it here, and also in China, as far as I can tell.
--- Quote ---That is arrogance and if she agrees to all that then I take my hat off to you. But I have seen the consequences on here and in life too often of the result where the mans financial position has changed and the woman has walked away. Money is more important to a Chinese woman that love.
--- End quote ---
If she would walk away because I don't have a lot of money, then she is not the woman for me, and I wil have no regrets.
--- Quote ---Love cannot provide into the old age in China only money can do that.
--- End quote ---
In the US too! ;)
So what exactly do you recommend, Willy? If I'm hearing you right, I should tell her to go away until I'm legally divorced, save up a bunch of money, and buy a home. Because all Chinese women want money more than love.
With my woman, that would go over like a turd in a punch bowl. You may think you know them all because you live there and run a match-making service, but I think THAT is arrogance. You don't. You only know a certain sub-set; the type that are looking for a western husband to brighten their prospects.
Willy The Londoner:
You are due to have enough problems with the US Immigrants. Lets hope that they do not have you marked down as a serial importers of foreign wives!
I have not run the dating service since 2010. Too many foreign men letting women down.
When you get her into US to live with you, not as a married women, but as a single woman then I will concede that you must have some great influence in high places and I will say that I was wrong. But until then I will say no more on this.
Willy
Smaug:
--- Quote from: Willy The Londoner on January 27, 2013, 05:38:50 am --- You are due to have enough problems with the US Immigrants. Lets hope that they do not have you marked down as a serial importers of foreign wives!
--- End quote ---
I had never heard that term, (serial importers) but was worried about it. I will surely get an immigration lawyer this time, to help me through that potential pitfall. (didn't have a lawyer last time; it cost a lot of time and money, but was no problem) But as you or someone else suggested, it is a little early for me to be thinking of immigration. It is likely to be more of a 2014 thing.
--- Quote ---I have not run the dating service since 2010. Too many foreign men letting women down.
--- End quote ---
Well, different expectations, I guess, right? Maybe I'm a prime example... I will talk to my lady more about her material expectations, to double-check that we're on the same page. She offered to sell one of her two condos in China and give me the money to buy a place here, but I declined politely, saying I am flattered in her trust, but I would rather wait until we're married until we think of that. I also said we should get a pre-nup, so neither of us gets screwed in case things don't go as planned, she said fine.
--- Quote ---When you get her into US to live with you, not as a married women, but as a single woman then I will concede that you must have some great influence in high places and I will say that I was wrong. But until then I will say no more on this.
--- End quote ---
She will come to the US in the summer as a tourist. Probably renew her visa and visit next time as a tourist too. After that, we will have confirmed we want to be married and continue as planned. From the green card application paperwork last time, I know it would be near impossible to get her and her son permanent resident status without first being married. Even then, I expect some difficulties.
shaun:
Smaug, you've received a lot of good advice here. Here is one more kink you should consider. By virtue of the fact that you were not divorced when you went to China and are still married and you are still living in the same house with your current wife your future wife will have a tremendous battle during the interview. If I were you I'd find another part-time job and move out. Deliver pizza if you must. You've already stepped in it as far as the interviewer is concerned. You need to do something about it.
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