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Willy The Londoner:
Not for me to comment on this.
I have never been one to open up and tell anyone everything. Seen too many relationships go down the pan in my long life as couples end up not having anything to say to each other having said it all often the same things many times!!!!
The other thing to remember here is that good jobs are hard to find and even harder to keep. There are no such things as employments laws and bosses have the power to sack anyone at their whim. If the boss asks her to have lunch then do not read into it anything else - taking someone for a meal is a normal way of saying 'thank you' or 'well done' here or simply to get to know, in a business sense, more about an employee. Refusal can be taken as a slight against him/her.
Just remember although your lady can speak English well, then even the most accomplished with the English language can struggle at times to put the same meaning on something that you or she may say.
Having progressed quite well with my Chinese language lessons now I can understand just how difficult definitive translating of words can be between Chinese and English and Visa versa.
Willy
maxx:
Willy is right on with this. Your lady refuses the lunch thing. It is like her slapping her boss in the face.She can and probbably would be unemployed in about a week. There is no workers rights in China, No unenployment. Also Sometimes Chinese doe's not translate well into English. My wife still sometimes struggles with it 8 years later.
Smaug:
Thanks guys for the tips. I'll try to take them to heart, and not open up so much. I can tell that sometimes, she thinks it's excessive.
As for the lunch thing, this was her boss just picking her up on the way to the cafeteria, not "going out to lunch." Same thing?
***
An update: It is proving quite difficult for her to sell her old condo. The government is somehow involved. Her first buyer backed out and lost his deposit. Now her agent is looking for another buyer. Hopefully, it can still be all completed before her fiance visa expires in June. We're still hoping for early May.
Once she has word that the old condo is sold, she will ask the real estate agent to make arrangements to rent out her current condo, resign from her job, (needs a month's advanced notice) and buy tickets to come here.
In the end, it ends up that we're waiting to sell the condo, rather than on either of our governments for visa approval. :-\
Two more months to wait. Maybe 3 if we're unlucky. Or maybe we'll have to file to extend the visa, if we're VERY unlucky.
As for the lack of unemployment and such... They may not have as much (or any) unemployment support from the government, like we do here, but they have much better labor laws. Ivy tells me that lots of companies, especially factories, ignore those laws though. For example, to fire someone means the company has to pay that person one month's salary for every year they've been there. If they work overtime, they get double pay. If they work on a holiday, they get triple pay. Wow! She told me that most workers in our company there are on a 3 year contract, which they either choose to renew continually or not.
IrishGuy65:
Smaug, I can tell you that my girl Lisa uses the cafeteria at her job all the time. Still don't understand why he has to pick her up, though. If they need to discuss business, they can still do it at the cafeteria getting there separately. Overall, I would say trust her judgement on this. Sometimes, from my understanding, there can be face issues or pressures and expectations within the job that we Westerners can never fully understand. So, my advice.... trust her judgement.
As for selling the condo. Lisa has just sold hers (took her almost 9 months and she had to accept a lot less than she expected). She went through the same thing... with buyers coming and going, all the while the realtor gets the lost deposit. I wonder if they find people they know can't afford it, so they will fail and get the deposit money.
Is it financially necessary for her to sell the condo before moving? If not, why not let the realtor sell the place and get the move, and wedding, done? Lisa told me she could have her friend take care of the closing and all the details if she was not there. She had already made arrangements. Unnecessary now, though.
Willy The Londoner:
There are several reasons that sales are not completed on properties.
Most conditions are there to prevent a person from overstretching their means and defaulting on a payment. The deposit is usually around 20,000 rmb. For first time buyers the next deposit is 30%. If you already have a home then the deposit will 60% or 70% depending on which province.
If as in our case we already had a property then we had to follow this up, ten days later with 60% of the sales price. If someone is in need of a bank loan, then the application starts from the point when the 20,000rmb is paid. One cannot apply for a bank loan until they have the payment receipt for this initial deposit.
If a loan is refused then the 20,000 is forfeited. If granted then the larger deposit is required within the ten days mark with the remaining 40% being paid 30 days later either from the bank or in our case direct from our account.
These measures are that banks have to be really strict before agreeing to lend any money that may be needed. Even though we did not need to borrow money on the new home we just bought there was a lot of official documentation to show they neither of us was in debt and that my wifes income tax was paid up to date which in turn showed that she had a regular income.
Willy
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