General Discussion and Useful Links > Ask An Experienced Member
Scams/Pitfalls when starting up
IrishGuy65:
Hello all. I'm new here. I've gone through some of the forums, but there is a preponderance of information, so large that I think I may be divorced and remarried at least twice by the time I go through it all :)
Seriously, though, I just recently joined chnlove.com... don't remember how I came to find the site. I understand, from some of my reading here, that there are many scams, fake profiles, etc. Could someone take the time to sum up what the best way to start looking for ladies on the site, how to find the scammers and other pitfalls, and maybe a little bit on what to say and not to say in your initial EMFs with ladies of interest to you?
To be honest, it all seems a little bit daunting, and quite frankly... scary. Any and all help and advice will be greatly appreciated.
As I said, I recently (maybe a month ago or so), joined chnlove.com. I got a TON of admirer mails (which I thought was strange because I'm 47, out of shape, have a receding hairline which is not good for a Leo to possess, and a long bushy beard. My profile picture is not flattering and all too accurate :) Still, the admirer mails keep coming in. After a while, I decided I liked the site because I got so much interest, OF COURSE! Am I the fish that just got hooked? Anyway, so I made a list of what was important to me, and went through each admirer's profile to trim down the list. I got down to 8 ladies. I finally got up the nerves to buy some credits and replied to two of the ladies. One replied within hours (I sent the message at 11PM my time, which is noon her time... she is in Beijing, and I am on the East Coast of the USA). One took a couple of days. I've written 3 more EMFs, two to the fast replier and 1 more to the slower lady (who is in Qingdao, by the way). That's my story up to now. I will provide more information if needed, but I just don't know where to go from here... don't know if this is good or bad, or even what I should be looking for or wary of...
Willy The Londoner:
Congratulations on making that first move.
I started with Chnlove in the days when you could get personal contact details exchanged with each other, (but that facility has now gone.)
First select an area that is easiest to get too. Beijing and Shanghai are good for this but are expensive in the long run. I settled on Zhuhai when I first arrived here, basically because flights to Hong Kong were cheaper than flying direct into Mainland China and Zhuhai as, Shenzhen and Zhongshan, is just a ferry ride from Hong Kong. Although the high speed trains are making traveling to other places more easy just remember China is a huge country and travel is not always easy for a first time visitor and train seats are not always easy to obtain in a rush.
I started off with a list of about 100 women, then considered which would be interested in an overweight 60 year old and so cut that 100 down to 2. One of these seemed to disappear off Chnlove so in 2009 I made the journey to meet that remaining one.
As it happened despite weeks of online chatting and telephone calls within a week we decided that we were not really suited. I did not head home with my tails between my legs. I stayed and found that actually living here there are so many more 'opportunities' offered.
I ventured out from Zhuhai and came to Zhongshan and on one visit met the lady that is now my wife. For a couple of months we traveled to each others cities and really got to know each other and four months after meeting we married. Bought a home here and life has never been the same since. I never intend to leave China.
So although my circumstances are different to most there is one thing that should be constant. Make sure you meet in person before making any commitments. Try to get away from Chnlove as soon as you can. remember you pay for the messages to and from the lady. That can work out expensive.
Then having found you lady then settle down for the long haul, (something I have never had to go through) getting your lady (probably your wife by then) to your own country.
Within this forum you will receive a lot of advice.
Get ready to change your life has others here have done.
Any questions then there is always somewhere here who can give you the answer. Plus there is no delay in having a posting accepted on this forum.
Willy
Arnold:
Welcome Zoot (I may call you this?) first of all. I'm glad you joined this Forum before you dive in too deep to get out again without being burned.
The first thing you did right, was to limit yourself down to just a few. Now, about those "Fast" replies of the one Lady's in Beijing. This is a red flag (let's say 90% of the time) and most likely the Translator writing you back quickly.. to soak up your new bought Credits as fast as he can. I'd go with the slower responce and make sure with that one, you get your questions answered correctly and not "How is the weather"? You know, get a question back for an question ask. Check our Agencies list of "Bad Apples" to stay away from. Also, try to receive everyday Photo's (not Chnlove's) from your Lady .. as you send yours to her. Any resistance to that request.. could be the Agency holding back.. to first make a little more off you $$-wise, or the Lady is NOT willing to.. which is another red flag. I would not ask more then twice, before I move on. If you are Honest, you are entitled for Honesty back.. this is just how it works.. two ways and not one. Get to see her on a Webcam after you have established somewhat of an relationship to make her feel comfortable to do this. If all is good, plan on a Visit within 6 months to no more then a year at most. This will be the moment of truth, if it is going any further. Next step the Parents approval, before it will come to anything further then Friendship between you two. So give yourself time to think it through carefully step by step and not let anybody rush you along. If there are misunderstandings (there will be many) think of the 24 Hour Rule (from Maxx) before you shoot back anything you might regret later. Good Luck and ask.. ask and ask some more if in doubt, that's why we are here.
Pineau:
Run Zoot, Run.
Get as far away from chnlove as you can. I have experienced the scams and read every horror story on this forum. I got burned by Chnlove twice.
Go with China love links or china love match and Roberts site. You will still find scammers there, but far fewer and there is no middle man taking a cut. I met a lot of ladies there and still communicate with them about their quest to find a better husband and life out of China. You will find a lot of ladies there that you probably not interested in but great pen pals to chat with about China.
Get yourself a QQ account and get ready to be inundated with people that want to be your friend. And best of all once you find someone interesting you can chat all you want for free.
There is a thread here that I started for guys to hook up with single gals that are looking for husbands. Send me your photos and your chnlove profile. I will forward them on to my friends.
Best of luck and stay away from Chnlove.
Single Chinese Girls looking for husbands.
http://www.xingfulove.com
IrishGuy65:
Thanks guys.... I appreciate all the input. I have registered on the xingfulove.com site last night.
I downloaded QQ, but I get an error message that says: Sorry! Your software installation cannot complete. InstallQ is unable to complete the installation. Please retry again after checking: 1. Your Internet connectionis working properly, 2. Your firewall or antivirus software is configured to allow InstallQ.... I have no clue on how to check firewall or antivirus. I know I am connected to the internet :)
I have to get ready to go to work, but I'll reply more fully tonight.
Again, thanks for the replies. I hope to ask a lot more questions during this quest :)
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version