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Married life - issues between Western husband and Chinese wife
Arnold:
With all the help Zoot we have here, there should be no reason for anyone to be taken for a ride by Chnlove or other Websites alike. Having all that info/ammo nowadays (something some here did without as there was only the "official" if even that and that turned into a huge pitfall), certainly makes these journey's somewhat easier.. except to deal with the Face-Face/Man vs. Woman as it is everywhere in the world.
It definitely can be worth every Cent/Penny spend on "Right" lady.
David E:
It would take several pages of typing to describe the POSITIVE issues with a Chinese Wife and a Western Husband...... ;D ;D....so for the sake of brevity, here are some of of the VERY few negatives Ming and I have found along the way:
FACE...if anything goes wrong, somebody else is always to blame. To accept being wrong implies a loss of face for her...taboo !!!
MONEY...the lengths she would go (if I allowed her to) to save money is extreme. To comply entirely with her wishes would produce a poor life with a lot in the Bank !!!...money is some sort of God to her.
Racism..Ming shows many signs of being a rabid racist...especially with Black people, Muslims and Japanese in particular.
FOOD...there is no such thing as "leftovers" which can be chucked in the bin after a decent interval in the fridge...you WILL eat it, even if it is glowing green !!!
PETS...My mate Walter the cat ( I have had him for 13 years now) is a particular target of her distaste for spending money to feed pet animals...she is convinced that he should be capable of catching any
food he needs outside in the wild. Actually spending money to feed a cat is seen as criminal !!
Information....If she does not get at least 100 contacts each day on phone, email, skype, QQ etc, she feels deprived. Any information, however blatantly false, improbable or ridiculous that comes from hordes
of freinds, family, aquaintances or other assorted hangers-on is gospel. Facts, figures, proofs from reputable sources can never supersede rubbish from friends !!!
It's all a lot of fun...if you dont take it too seriously......
Martin:
David's last paragraph nailed it...any information that comes from a fellow Chinese person, particularly woman, will be taken as gospel. It doesn't matter what facts you have in front of you. While going through the immigration process, I was told that a Chinese "friend"(in other words, a QQ contact) told her something different than the official immigration guide put out by the Canadian Government. When I asked who was she going to believe, this friend, or the Canadian Government, she replied..."my friend". To the best of my knowledge, she had never met this friend outside of QQ.
The language barrier can not be underestimated. Things are great when you are using Google Translate, but when you are finally together, if you can't communicate, you may face some serious issues. Little things will quickly grow into bigger things, if you have no way to discuss the issues.
Culture can be an issue, but if BOTH of you are willing to accept the others culture, and embrace each others cultures, you can have a really great time with each other. I believe it takes both to embrace each others cultural differences, and find a way to incorporate it into your lives. I don't like to see where one has to do all the changes, while the other can continue with their culture, without regard for the other.
Those are my thoughts anyways.
IrishGuy65:
Some excellent info!
Face I forgot about, and racism is one I didn't consider.
Pets are also a good one, although not a problem for me, as we've already had that discussion.
The China information thing seems like it can be worrisome.
But the culture thing is a big thing, and what I worry about the most. I was hoping to hear some stories about culture clash that could be informative.
With my lady friend, I think we have had very good discussions about difficult issues already, so I don't worry too much about communication.
Willy The Londoner:
--- Quote from: David E on March 19, 2013, 05:13:28 pm ---
PETS...My mate Walter the cat ( I have had him for 13 years now) is a particular target of her distaste for spending money to feed pet animals...she is convinced that he should be capable of catching any
food he needs outside in the wild. Actually spending money to feed a cat is seen as criminal !!
--- End quote ---
She must like Walter very much as most Chinese would see him as food!!! ;D ;D
Please don't let Walter read this I do not want to upset him. ::)
Willy
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