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After you bring her and her/ your new son here...then what?

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fivetrout:
Hi all!

A question that requires a good answer. If all continues to proceed as planned, I will marry in August in Wuhan. What has not been resolved...is that when I bring her and her son (16) over here (US) and so how we will go about his schooling? He will have two years left in high school and plans on college here. I have hinted to her that he needs to complete his high school in china as we can't just drop him off to a high school here. Anyway, a friend who is Chinese suggested that he finish school and stay with relatives in china before joining us here, but I don't think she will want any part of that. I don't have children of my own and so I have no experience with schooling. I am looking to relocate to an area with a Chinese community...Denver perhaps?

Any input?

Chris

David E:
Chris

I have been through the scenario you describe, my wife's son had 2 more years to go in High School at the time she came to Aus to be with me.

After much "wrangling" I finally got her to understand that to simply have her Son transfer from a Chinese High School ino an Australian one would be ruinous for his future.

The language issue, the different Curriculum and Culture would forever doom him to a low grade Educational outcome by doing it this way. We compromised by arranging (and me paying for !!!) an apartment for him and also for close supervision by her family so that he could finish High School in China.

At that point he can come here to Aus as a foreign University Student and join many others doing it this way, there are a wide range of special Uni courses and options for foreign Students.

I got a lot of resistance at first, but eventually my wife saw the logic and sense of this strategy.

IrishGuy65:
I have a Chinese friend that I work with who was brought to the US with 3 years of school left.  He says it was the worst 3 years of his life.  He was picked on, ridiculed, and didn't have a chance to learn anything because he could not speak the language.  I would never suggest this to anyone.  Find a way to let him finish high school in China, then come to the US for college.  This will also give him two years to start learning English in China, so he can be prepared when he comes to America.

In every way, he will be better off doing it this way.

fivetrout:
Thanks David,
Actually...by the time Hong is here, it would be more like a year i believe for him left. He does have two married uncles with families that could likely take him in with a little palm greasing (maintenance I mean) I'm sure. Perhaps even his father? He would have to relocate to a new city, but one that he's familiar with. I will have to approach her carefully. The alternative would severely limit his ambitions as you stated. I wonder if that would change his status as a dependent?

Chris

RobertBfrom aust:
Chris , having been on the other side of the coin in the beginning , I can only agree with what DavidE has said , my now wife and stepdaughter arrived here a couple of weeks before I met them for Daughter [ Sunyao ] to enter what is known as 10 th grade here .
 So after 6 months of learning English she joined a regular school , did not like it as they were trying to teach her what she had learned in her Chinese school several years earlier , at the end of the school year it was decided to re enrol her in the best international school in Shenyang , having done this she has crammed for 6 months to pick up where she left off and now over the last 2 years has risen again to No 1 in the school which she will leave in a couple of months to head for Uni , we also found that 2 years of living in the school for 6 days a week cost the same as 1 year of government school here in Melbourne not even boarding [ Saturday arvo till dusk on a Sunday she stays off campus with family , she has at the moment elected to do her Uni in China and then come out here for post grad courses in her particular sciences , since she went back to China she has kept up her English studies and now can pass any tests thrown at her including IELTS easily and as we always talk to her in English we are ensuring that she forgets nothing as she continues on , regards Sujuan and Robert .

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