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wedding dowry

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fivetrout:
My feelings are...her parents are quite happy that I will make their little girl happy! She has said so! Also blend into the mix...I will helping helping her son in college here. Further in the mix...is that her father has heart disease and has cancer. She may be thinking about her mother soon? She is always testing me about money, and I've gotten to the point where I get pleasure telling her NO! haha If she wants to come to America, and have a better life for her son...THAT'S what she needs to embrace in my view. She really does seem to think...that love is actually measured by money! I tell her NO, love is measured by actions!

No-one can claim this endeavor is boring!

chris

Willy The Londoner:
When you said 100,000 rmb my first thought was that is not a bad price to pay. Then I realised that that were not going to pay YOU this but you were expected to pay it! ::)

My mother in law has long since died. I gave nothing to my father in law although I have looked after him since, by giving a warm home in the winter months and paying for his cataract operations. But then I would have done the same for my western family as well.

Your lady is a 'used' women with a child. The chances of her finding a man in China to marry her are so slim that it is impossible to put a figure on it.  She already left the family fold when she married the first time when she returned that was a bonus for them.

Her family should in fact be paying you to take her off their hands and to give her and her son a better life.

Her request is for one reason only and that is to show her family and friends just what a good catch she has made. It is to give her face amongst those that know her.

On here now are mainly ones who have settled marriages I do not think that any have paid out great sums. I do know that others  who were on here have been asked for large sums like you but have long since left the relationship after not paying up and are no longer on here.

You give what you feel but do not be dictated to on this otherwise it will continue in this vein.

My wedding cost next to nothing.  We did give out one red envelope as my wife wanted to give thanks to her church. 1000 rmb covered that!

The money I have is for my wife and myself. I have bought a home here and a car and I made sure that my wife will be financially stable after I leave this earth. 

She did not ask for this I gave it to  bit by bit as the years passed by. We have received from her family not given.

Personally I would tell her the dowry was not an option but that you would take care of things as needs arose.  At least that way you would be getting an idea if it is you she loves or if you are just one the the RICH Foreigners that she can weedle around her little finger.

Willy

fivetrout:
It seems... I have all the opinion I need. I gave the store away my first two marriages, never again. It is enjoyable to witness all the crazy facial expressions when I say no. I could tell she wasn't really that upset, and she did respond at the end of our skype call.....I love you too!

brett:
Yeah you guys have already pretty much answered this one. I discussed this very issue with a girl I dated. The bride price for a 33yo previously unmarried woman was around $500, so do the math for an older one with a kid!

I was under the impression that with red envelopes at the wedding you'd probably get all this money back anyway.

Just be careful because a lot of people want your money here. So far though it's been the foreigners here who have been after mine!

john1964:
my wifes family said that my many trips to China to be with their daughter was enough, no need to pay a dowry, they are happy to see their daughter happy now  :) John.

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