All About China > Your trip to China

Leap of faith to Shanghai!

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AbovetheLAW:
Hello to all. I very much enjoy Maxx's writing format so I will follow him (for the simple fact that its easy to read).

Ok...My story begins back in 2008 when I was in one of my favorite Chinese food restaurants. I had gone there often and really enjoyed their food and staff. There was a Chinese girl that worked there who was
around my age (25) who I enjoyed to talk with very much and would get nervous each time I would try to hit on her. Nothing really came of it because she could understand me and I couldnt understand her but I know she fancied me because she would have an authentic smile when I came in to eat. Anyway the point of that story is, that is when i discovered that I really had a soft spot for eastern girls and really wanted to make this interest a permanent part of my life.

So when I got home I performed a Google search 'Asian American Dating' and one of the first results was.....(you guessed it) ChnLove. Back then the prices were fairly reasonable and the agencies maybe slightly more authentic( i don't know). So I began my search for a Chinese woman that would love me and I would love very much. Now...lets be honest here about my expectations, with my simple American ignorance I figured I would find a Chinese woman who absolutely loved to cook, clean, have sex everyday, give me massages, and maybe even tell me a few mysteriously deep Chinese proverbs. I know..i know.. NAIVE and ignorant but im being totally honest with you and myself.

So with my starry eyed self I set off into the website, created a profile and begin to look at profiles. My thoughts off the bat were "Wow! Are all the woman in China models?" Then I saw some of the profiles without professional pix and that answered my question lol. So to make a long story short for about a year I was playing the shot gun game (choosing about 5 adm mails and seeing which one stood out the most then actually corresponding with that girl), I had maybe 3 girlfriends through this whole time but the cost of ChnLove began to be overwhelming and I was getting frustrated with my thwarted attempts to speak to these girls off of ChnLove and on QQ, Skype, anything that was free!

I then decided to give up on Chnlove for the time being and use QQ messenger for a while. I had no luck on QQ and strangely had grade school teenies trying to practice their Chinese with me, No thanks not my thing. Sadly enough I had no luck on QQ and I was beginning to think it was just impossible to date outside my country. Between work and QQ there went 2009 and I was no closer to finding the make-believe perfect Chinese wife. I was going to just give up.

I would like each person reading this to guess what placed a fire back under my ass, You guessed it! Western woman and their cruelty to their men. I think there is when i took a vow to stay away from western woman and their super super high expectations. Tramps. Anyway.... I gave ChnLove another shot and this is actually where my super super high expectations of Chinese woman was brought back down to Earth, im talking Earth's core. I found a very pretty Chinese woman who I got along with very much. She and I would send letters every week and i actually began to care for her a lot. Her name was Jia Jun. (If you can picture Adrian from Rocky thats kinda what she looked like) So everything was going great between us and I was actually planning to visit her in March of 2011. Then things begin to 180. Well the Chinese stereotype I had in my head (they do not get angry and act so humbly all the time and the other ignorant things i mentioned earlier) was crushed. That balloon was popped. She and I was actually arguing over EMF! haha more than once. She had different views on how to raise kids, she did not want to live in America, she did not want to be a housewife, she also did not want to even attempt to talk outside of Chnlove for whatever reason. I then figured out that we were not meant to be together and just saw trouble in the future. Dont get me wrong, I know i am vain on certain issues and a bit stubborn but certain things I just don't want to bend on. I have caveman views on who is the bread winner, children's care taker and such but hey whose perfect? After that I left ChnLove completely and never turned back. I figured I would leave my love life to fate and simply focused on work and my social life.

Well time passed and here comes 2012. This is the year I meet the woman Im here to talk about! lol. I started exploring the web more for any alternatives to ChnLove because as I said I do have a soft spot for Asian woman. I found QQ International. I highly recommend that website! It is more human and personal. Most of the woman on there know simple English. Well one day I received a message from a woman on there named Ke Shu. All she said was 'Hello' and from there we began to email (FOR FREE..i love it) back and forth. She then asked if I had Skype and we began to talk on there and even video chat. For maybe...3 months we video chatted everyday. So that was around...October of 2012. We talked til January of this year and lost contact for maybe 3 months due to her computer breaking. I then figured that she did want to talk anymore and didnt think to much on it simply because we were friends and nothing more. Well April rolls around and she found me and we started talking again.

Since then we talked everyday. I have learn so much about Chinese customs and culture from her its not even funny. Corresponding with her has made me realize that women and humans for that matter are all the same when it comes to fears, emotions, thoughts. My whole way of thinking has changed. I have been teaching her about America too as she thinks all Americans have high self esteem and are confident in everything we do... XD. I keep telling her people are people anywhere in the world.

Anyway we got together when one day she called me 'Babe' during chat lol. Then she tried to play dumb and say 'I dont know why i said that' Hahaha (i laugh so hard) Has anyone else noticed how manipulative Chinese women are? lol. Not in a bad way but they will often hide things or lie in order to keep peace or get an answer to a certain issue they have on their mind....Hmmm at least Ke Shu does that. Anyone else experienced this?

So we have been dating since then and I plan to visit her in August. Man! have we had our ups and downs. She has almost left me once and I almost left her once but somehow each time we managed to work it out. To me i feel that's the kind of wife i need, someone that will fight for us, as i will. What do you guys think?

She lives in Ningbo and plans to meet me in Shanghai in August. I will for sure update you guys about my trip and give details.
She is not the best looking girl in China(I have high shallow standards, i know ima jerk) but she cares for me a lot, she has a good heart and all that means a lot to me, I will post a pic.

- Jake

fivetrout:
Are you fricken kidding me? She's adorable! Here is what comes to mind after reading this. I think it's healthy that you banter back and forth, it helps create a balance of power. Unlike me, in which I often have no clue whats going on in Hong's head and there's danger in pushing limits going both ways, you both seem on firm ground and have displayed the ability to have gained respect for the other...and can easily still work things out.

Welcome and keep us posted!

Chris

shaun:
Jake,

Nothing is perfect in any relationship.  But what it really takes is two willing to work it out together.  Sometimes she wins, sometimes you win but if the two of you work it out right the both of you will always win.

Sounds to me like the two of you are headed down the right path.  I agree with Chris and Mike, she is adorable.

Shaun

Pineau:
Cute as a button. I'd be on a plane before some swoops in and steals her away>>>

maxx:
Jake I'm happy to here You like to read what I write.Your relationship is progressing nicely with the young lady.Just remember the rules.And you should be ok.And like the other members posted.I think she is beautiful.Good luck.

Maxx

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