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Paying

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IrishGuy65:
Thanks for all the input once again.  I see that I had my own stereotype that was probably off.  We have talked, many times, about equality within the relationship, and I can see that point being valid in this case.

One of my concerns was the face issue.  By letting her pay, am I losing face in her eyes, as well as her friends and family? 

Also, when we get married and she moves to America (I guess I should say if, LOL), I want her to know she can depend on me while she is adapting to life here and trying to find work, etc.

Finally, I hate to see her spend money, because she makes so much less than I do (although I would never, ever say that).

Besides the obvious stereotypes I had in my mind, these are some of the issues that were concerning to me.

Again, I really and truly appreciate everyone's advice here!  Thanks very much!!

Willy The Londoner:
If it was you that bought up the subject then relax. Be even more relaxed that she did not immediately say 'OK you can pay for everything' or that she did not instigate the question by asking if you were going to pay for everything.This should tell you that your online relationship has moved forward a bit.

The ones who are only out with foreigners for the money will not hesitate to bring the subject to the fore themselves.

She is probably as excited about your finally getting here as you are as nervous about that first trip here and wants you to immediately feel that your not being put upon.

The first date with my wife I paid for everything except she bought me some bananas and apples for my hotel room. The next day she paid for bits and pieces nothing big just odds and ends and so on until by the time we we married 4 months later we almost had a pooled spending arrangement. Not something that I asked for or ever intended it just evolved over our courting period. 

Your lady is likely to be more impressed with you if you do not needlessly spend money on frivalous things.

Willy

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