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Pandora's box?

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Willy The Londoner:
I think Mike has put it neatly into 4 sentences very well.

I would add that Chinese women would prefer on the whole to be married to a Chinese Man and to live in China in happiness.

A nation such as the USA with nationalities intermingled from just about all parts of the world, as apart from the Native Americans, the vast majority are not 'native Americans' and may find this difficult to understand this.

For a Chinese person to consider moving outside Chine they will need to know that there will be an improvement in their life or an improvement in the life and potential of any existing child,. This latter will ensure that they are looked after should the need arise in later years. The same was said of all immigrants to the USA, they went there for a BETTER life not the same life they had back in their own countries.

In most cases the 'love' she has for a foreigner will last for as long as her life remains good. Others on here have fallen foul of that level and as a result the relationship has ended.   Chinese women may fall in love for loves sake alone but then they will have deep considerations as to whether that love will improve what they already have.

We are not ripping into you but remember a lot of women will never see your profile and whatever is on it. They will look to you as being a marriageable prospect and maybe your lady may well come across it. 

You should not really be planning any future together until you get that first meeting over. Then decide.  I will not repeat my first experience in that on here.

That is why 18 months is too long for someone to leave it before coming here.  I think Irish Guy has done everything about right and he seems to have a clear idea on things.

No one is putting her on a pedestal and no one is putting you down.  From the time you meet to the time you get her to the USA is going to be many months, more than a year even in cases where the husband has lived here so it is during that time that the serious planning should take place.

Willy

fivetrout:
I'm willing to bet here... many if not all the men here, have had one or more failed marriages, and or relationships. Many are seeking women elsewhere, when in fact many failures were their own faults and inabilities, myself included. Some of those think a strong family orientated traditional woman, can and will mend short- cummings and deficiencies in themselves. But the lessons we have learned in life with regard to women, painfully, is that we must now choose wisely, and measure potential women by their actions, merits, and by their good character and willingness to follow through. But with the Asian woman, it seems to me...most of the valued painful lessons we learned on our life paths...get a free pass in the name of cultural differences. I'm not saying these are not treasured women, we all understand the beauty and enrichment a great woman can bring to our lives, but throw out the book? Putting yourself back into a situation whereas you are gambling once again with uncertainty and self risk? We tell ourselves now that we have a keen intuition in such matters, and we have the emotional scars to prove it. And that we will use logic and good judgments in our selection of future women whom will play a giant role in our future happiness. Yet time and time again, we fall into our own traps. We proceed on half truths at times and hope for the best outcomes. Hong in my case...asked me to help her buy a house prior to a possible pending marriage, and as Willy pointed out, a can't do in Wuhan with foreigners. Has anyone here shown outrage at such a request? No! They speak of culture differences and security for the poor tender dear! Well, from my self learned lessons in life...the women needs to be equal in all efforts in developing and maintaining a life long loving relationship. She will only get a free pass for cultural indifference's... within reason. One cannot just look at the perks and try to balance things out with the ideas your not comfortable with. When opening your heart, you still need to hang on to your principles and to not fall into your same repeated failure traps. Women are women, you can only bend who you fundamentally are so far because of culture, but also acknowledge there are lines not to be crossed when we are uncomfortable with them.

I am a gambler, a risk taker, and an adventurer of sorts. I usually go after what I want. In this case it is Hong. But she had better walk the walk with me, no matter what the culture is. No manipulators. No queen of Shelba's. No ivory tower dwellers! A simple good wife, friend, and lover.

OK, I'm done for the night.

Willy The Londoner:

--- Quote from: fivetrout on July 05, 2013, 06:59:06 am ---I'm willing to bet here... many if not all the men here, have had one or more failed marriages, and or relationships. 

--- End quote ---
You lose the bet on the if not all the men her have had a failed marriage or relationship.  This one was my first and and only one. I have never lived with anyone other than my present wife. ;D
Willy

Willy The Londoner:
Having read the remainder of your last posting them I think maybe that you are in for a very rough or a very short ride. ::)

Willy

fivetrout:
Well, there are prince's on white horses, and then there's those of us that ride an old grey nag with a limp. I fall into the latter I guess. But with the passions I have...she will feel as thou she's riding a unicorn! Did I just say something xxx rated? haha

Sometimes we just need to air out frustrations.

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