General Discussion and Useful Links > Ask An Experienced Member
My search
shaun:
Unfortunately this process isn't an exact science as you can see. For every thing that we can tell you not to do you can find a person who has been successful at doing it.
I could tell you and considering the odds that you will burned at least once but I know of at least 2 guys that hit a home run the first woman they began talking to.
But I think that all here can agree that the odds are stacked against you. Knowledge is your best tool. You can find success and happiness. Do your homework, look at each contact from every angle, always consider it is the translator that is talking to you and they have crafted their skills to pull the right heart strings.
I remember my first wake up like it was yesterday and it was almost 4 years ago. I was taken hook, line, and sinker on that one. It is easy to do but I was thinking with the wrong head. The story is somewhere on this site.
I don't want to discourage you but you need to be aware. Use your head, the right one, watch everything and you will find your dream woman.
Arnold:
I've dealt with three Agencies throughout my search and I'm happy to say.. all three were honest! But that was in 2007 and Chnlove was still more honest and less money grabbers. So we know (us old timers) that new Searcher's are up to far more of an challenge then what were used to. We do have enough members though, to guide you along no matter what problem/bump in the road arises for you.
Martin:
I used chnlove, but if I had to do it all over again, I would steer clear. It wasn't until after I was married did I discover that the translator was not passing important information back and forth. Also, keep in mind, that with a huge language barrier (assuming she doesn't speak English), this is going to add huge challenges to your relationship. Although many can read and write English, the spoken word is something you need to consider.
What I mean is, if she doesn't speak much English, and you marry her and bring her home, how are you going to communicate with her? It's not realistic to think that you will be emailing each other, and using pocket translators. Just something to keep in mind. This comes from my own experience.
Willy The Londoner:
--- Quote from: Arnold on July 16, 2013, 11:45:44 am ---I've dealt with three Agencies throughout my search and I'm happy to say.. all three were honest! But that was in 2007 and Chnlove was still more honest and less money grabbers.
--- End quote ---
This was what I was going to point out to Maxx. Any dealings he had with Chnlove in those early days, many many years ago, when he was on the trail, were carried out on a different level.
You could ask the lady via the translator for contact details and more often than not you got them as the agencies were more akin to making their money on the success fees rather than the emfs.
But in recent years things have changed. Chnlove have bought in more and more restrictions in an attempt to boost their flagging sales. Remember it was bought out a few years back and now the agency staff are banned from providing contact details. The risk being for the agencies is expulsion from the chnlove network and for the individuals translator - the sack.
Willy
JustJim:
Hi everyone…
Thanks for all the feedback.
Maxx – do you have a link to “the rules?” I haven’t run across that yet.
Mike – I am working my way through your “trips.” I can see how only EMF ing is not good.
Willy – I really appreciate the experience that you have.
Shaun – exact science – I get that. I am learning as I go. It might be best at this point to talk about the ladies I am communication with and the totally different experiences I am having with each one.
Right now I am talking with two ladies. Both rate their English as being “fair.” I will call them “X” and “Y” – not their real initials – but in China those could be their real initials... :) I digress...
I responded to “X” first. A lot of EMFs, some chatting on the site, and totally unable to get her to contact me outside of the site. Also no new pictures.
I responded to “Y” mostly because I was frustrated with my dealings with “X” and just wanted to see if that was going to be the case every time.
By the end of two emails with “Y” we had shared QQ numbers, then we chatted on QQ and she sent me pictures of her, her condo, her travels. I asked her if she had a cam and she said she would get one. Four days later she surprised me during our chat time on QQ by requesting a video chat and then there she was, in real time... but she hadn’t thought to get a microphone. I thought it was cute that she wasn’t aware that she would need one, and she said she would get one of those soon.
Anyways – night and day difference in these two experiences...
It puzzles me – because if Willy is right how did “Y” get my QQ number? Why would a translator allow us to pass QQ numbers to each other?
My dealings with “X” seem more like the case that I am talking through a translator.
With “Y” we are talking privately so of course there is no translator involved. But – when I stopped EMF ing with her and started QQ ing about three days later I got an EMF from her. It did not sound like her in the EMF and I asked her about it when we were on QQ. She had no idea what I was talking about. I let it go – (I don’t understand any of this talk about “face”) and we moved on – but I let the agency know through the “rating” on the EMF translation that I knew what was going on and that I was not happy about it.
Things with “Y” are progressing and things with “X” are dwindling. I told “X” not to EMF me unless it was in response to an EMF of mine and she agreed. Then today I got an EMF from her – talking about going to the beach and eating hot dogs and crab legs and oysters... all very nice... except that “X” has written in the past that she is a vegetarian.
So...it might be time for an ultimatum with “X.” But if she is real and just having to go through a translator – like Mike’s situation – I want to give them a chance to turn things around.
I just don’t know how to go about doing that. Basically she told me that a hacker ripped off her QQ account and she is leery about using that again. She said that she has a friend who is away for this month on a business trip who can help her get a new account set up. She says that she is not that computer savvy.
Well, I guess I sound like the schmuck here. That’s not really the case. I haven’t lost anything but a few dollars yet, and I have time to sort this all out. Plus I am learning.
I might get burned – I will probably have to go to another site to find a better experience.
I understand all that. If my experience with “Y” had been the same as my frustrations with “X” I would already be done with this site.
So that is my story so far. If anyone knows what I should do or say to get “X” to contact me outside of the site I would love to know about that. I can just as easily give her an ultimatum or block her completely. And then I think about Mike’s experience and I wonder... maybe that is too rash.
I appreciate everybody’s help. Jim
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version