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Pineau:
Jim,
X is scamming you for EMF dollars. If she exists at all she is not participating in the conversations. You are dealing with a a shady translator, crooked agency or both.
They have a thousand excuses why they cant talk to you directly and they will all sound plausible to a new comer like yourself unless you take the time to reason through them.
I cant say much about Y but it sees as though her agency is still trying to make a few EMF dollars and is trying to insert themselves back between you and her.
How old are these ladies? Hard to believe they are not computer savvy when it comes to QQ.
Its just a big mess when you deal with chnlove or any of their member agencies. If I were you I would block Y and see if she continues to talk to you on QQ. If she does she is probably real. Otherwise she is the translator trying to hold onto you to get an occasional EMF dollar.
My advice is find the exit at chnlove and don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. There are better ways and places to meet eligible Chinese ladies.
Vince G:
Jim, You may have to play the game with X. Tell her you have a chance to come there and will be there "next week" pick a day and say your only staying a short time. If it comes back as "I have to work and no time to meet you?" or some other excuse, she's a scammer.
She may be smart and know the game? and say good? make an excuse the in a few days that you can't make it then.
maxx:
Jim X is a translater.And it is going to play out just like the brothers said it will.No matter which way you play it.As far as Y never underestimate a Chinese woman and her goals.If she is interested in you she will do what it takes.For as long as it takes.To win the prize.Chinese ladies are very driven.I haven't met a lazy one yet.Sometimes they even come on a little strong,and fast don't be worried.They are usually in complete control of the situation.And have whatever it is planned down to the minute.
The rules were posted around here somewhere.But they are probably lost by now.I'm going to have to talk to management.About the way the run this web site.Lazy asses are probably smoking dope.And badmouthing each other.And eating dumplings.And drinking Doctor Pepper ;D.
Rule # 1 Maxx's 24 hour rule.Live it love it learn it.Never forget it. No matter what crazy thing your lady says to you.Writes to you post to you.Or says to you.That makes you mad or confuses you.Do not reply.Post the question or statement here.Give it 24 hours for the brothers to tell you what the lady was trying to say to you.We have years and years of experience here.And sometimes Chinese doesn't translate well into English.And the trouble was caused by a simple misunderstanding.Or a difference in custom or culture.
Rule # 2 different contry different customs.Your lady is Chinese.She has her way of doing things.You are from a different country.With it's own customs and culture.And you have your way of doing things.You have to learn how to mesh the 2 different cultures together.It can and will be a tough thing to do.But for this to succeed it takes both people.committed to making this work.
Rule # 3 if it isn't the end of humanity as we know it.And nobody is going to get hurt.It probably isn't worth arguing about.If you are arguing with your Chinese lady.Refer to rule # 2 .If that doesn't work refer to Rule # 1 .And we will get it straightend out.
Jim I want to wish you the best of luck.On this little adventure.I also want to warn you that it can be tough.And a little intimidating at times.This journey is not for everyone.It is for those who can step outside themselves.And be willing to explore new things.And be willing to do things a different way.We will help you all we can.But you must put forth the effort and have the drive to finish this.Only to learn that there is no end to this.After 7 years and 3 kids.Most days are still a learning experience for me.So hang on and enjoy the adventure.
JohnB:
Jim
If I start anew, I would use ChnLove and cross reference over to ChinaLoveLink. http://www.chinalovelink.com/
Tremendous opportunity to thwart the 'black hole' that sucks your money away. You can join for 'free' and just do a simple search to see if your woman exists there. Chances are, she probably is there.
Willy The Londoner:
I would suggest that Y has developed a friendship with the translator dealing with the contact between you and between the translator and with X there is no such bond. That is why your qq number has been passed over, 'on the quiet'.
The translator's often make good friends with some of the ladies and often meet up socially for the odd lunch or meal. Sometimes the agency owner will invite a translator and a client to have a meal with them so that they can discuss and find out just how close a couple are getting!
That is why the new rules are broken. The translator is likely to be fully aware of which of the two is more serious about a guy and that is to their advantage as they can steer the right couple together.
Remember the translators just gets a basic wage for dealing with EMFs but their bonus lies in getting a good match and getting the couple to pay up the success fee to the agency.
So go with Y and see where it leads but at a later date you had better see how she feels about the success fee! I know one that I met in the early days here who insisted that she would pay it even when I explained that neither of us did not have to pay . To her, she hasd signed the contract with the agency and it was a matter of 'face'. If we had been successful it was going to cost one of us around 50,000 rmb.
Willy
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