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Am I being paranoid ?

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john1964:
Dont really know how to start here, I have noticed some changes, Every Monday and  Wednesday I drive MinYing to her English lessons in the city, About 4 weeks ago I noticed an Arab/ dark skin, gentleman outside having a smoke and when my wife got out of the car his face lit-up and he greeted her and followed her in to the building, Same thing happened the next day, Her clothes were always very casual to go to school but lately she has changed her style when going to school, Stunning to put it, Tonight she wore a black see-thru top and some very tight stockings/ leotard , I just joked to her, Are you going to see your b/f. she said YES.
Last week on Saturday night she drunk 3 glasses of red wine and was very drunk, she was sending me text messages from the kitchen saying I dont love her and I love another Chinese woman, "WHERE DID THIS COME FROM ?",Anyway, she was totally leg-less, I took her to the bedroom and stripped her and put her to sleep, I went back to the lounge and her phone was on the table, I sat there for a moment and then did something i swore i would never do, I looked , She has recently installed a pass-code, never before she has used one, I have a good memory for numbers as from my weekly business books and accounts and I saw her type the code in from before, I went to her  "WE-CHAT", account "which is like QQ", She talks to a man named BILL,local, in a message she asked him "what benefits he could give her , He also asked if she would like to see some naughty photos of himself, I was shocked and then read no-further, I turned off the phone and put it back on the table, She staggered from the bedroom moments later to retrieve the phone and went back to bed.
She has a new job to start on Friday and Saturday in Perth city, It is Chinese massage, She tells me that she will finish work at around 10pm or later, My mind is thinking the worse thing, massage with happy ending ????, I saw the add she circled in the paper so i have the address, I am wondering if I should go to this establishment and see what services are offered ???,
Another thing, Today she went for a drive in our car, SHE HAS NO LICENCE, just learners permit, My son phoned me and told me that she was gone, I was furious, no insurance, if she had an accident i told  her  that i would have no-choice but to press charges against her for stealing the car, now i am the "bad husband", I know how you feel DAVID , she does not know, or not  care for the ramifications  for her actions, if she had an accident and i told the police that she had my permission to drive the car then I would be charged and have my licence revoked,
there would go our income and business, now i am the bad-bastard, she told me that her friends told her that many people drive with no licence, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HER FRIENDS WHISPERS IN HER EAR. John.

"no-brainer", 

   

JustJim:
No you are not being paranoid...

I am not sure what to say.  There is a forum called talkaboutmarriage.com where you might be able to get some better advice.

But to be honest - I know your history with your wife has been troubled.  You need to be careful here, because Chinese or not, influenced by Chinese influences or not, you still have a woman to deal with.  And don't get me wrong - men can be just as bad - but women are better at it - more ruthless maybe.

I would suggest you check out that site.  You might find some more help there.  I had a girlfriend who had some issues come up with an ex and so I cut her loose, because I wasn't going to be a part of it.  Your situation is more complicated than that, so maybe you want a different resolution.  But it is not going to be easy.

Willy The Londoner:
Maybe you should ring the Massage parlour and see just what sort of services they offer.  I know in the UK genuine masseurs do not use the name massage in their business as that is now solely used by those giving 'other services'.

Also the problem that David is going through was caused by people that she met in College!  Those places are a breeding ground for causing discontentment.

Willy

fivetrout:
Are you being paranoid? I'm not sure. But reading your post brought back a sickening feeling in my gut! His name was Bill also. I chose to ignore my instincts and believe her far too many times. I founds ways to excuse her behaviors. Something very wrong... is going down here!

The truth is there for you to see, if you choose to. BTW, I would never allow my wife to work in a massage parlor...EVER!

fivetrout:
The irony is...you have got exactly what most of us here as sworn to ourselves.. to NEVER EVER tolerate again!

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