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Need some advice

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David E:
Run Forest...run  ;D ;D ;D

I can tell you from personal experience that when and if you make contact with a "real" woman, she will bust her gut to get face-to-face with you (on-line or QQ) in the quickest possible time frame.
If she is serious about meeting, attracting and catching a Western husband, she has no interest or no potential productive future in procrastinating...she is serious.

Endless procrastination, broken phones, sick Mothers and all that crap are the age -old put-offs that scammers use to keep you spending money in vain hopes.

Again, if and when you meet a "serious" woman, you had better be sure to have the wherewithall to get over to China to meet her...if you dont, she will be less than convinced that YOU are serious.

China Love is a money making fiddle farm. Outside of China Love there are many good women...who will expect some action from you to demonstrate that you are a good potential husband.

Good Luck !!

CypherDragon:
Thanks guys, I appreciate the honesty and reality check. Pineau, you are absolutely correct that I'm too close and invested in this to be able to see clearly, which is why I found this forum and bucked up the courage to finally ask. I've been lurking for the last couple of weeks, just reading some of the info here. I'm already a member on Robert's site, and already in contact with him...which is pretty much the direct cause of my post.

To answer some of the specific points raised:

Are you absolutely certain she is going to school in Canada? Did you make the call and was it a Canadian phone number?
Negative to both, all our calls have been through chnlove, which has been a concern. She has sent me a photo (attached) that certainly looks like the interior of a college dorm, but no proof that it's in Canada. I also have a few photos from a few locations that look very much like photos I've seen of Canada, but they could very well be from just a vacation trip, or from somewhere else.

But don't be surprised if she does not measure up to her photos.
Oh believe me, I know this one from using online dating here in the States. Luckily, she fully acknowledged that her profile photos were professionally done, and has sent me quite a few that are either truly natural, or done by someone with phenomenal Photoshop skills.

I am a bit surprised that such a lovely lady went to college in Canada and some nice Canadian boy didn't snatch her up already
I have thought about that, and asked her about it. Her reply was that she hadn't met anyone in Canada that she liked, but she did kind of gloss over the question. Since it was early on in our conversations, I had assumed that she was merely keeping her options open at the time.

I see you have a few problems....
You again are absolutely correct, in fact one of my requirements is that she either not have kids, or if she does then they doesn't live with her. I've been a step-father before. My ex-wife is 11 years older than me, and had a child when we met. Having a child ripped from your life by some aspect of the law (I wasn't aware I would have to go through the formal adoption process to protect my relationship with him) and a bitter ex-wife is something I will not repeat. I can handle the aspect of being a step-father, but I won't put myself at risk for that pain again. It's been hard enough the first time...thankfully it's been getting better with the more time that passes from the divorce, but I don't think I could handle going through it again. That part of my past has also soured me to significantly older women, so I have been looking for women within 5-7 years of my own age...I know it's a high hurdle to find women in their late-20's early-30's without a child, but I know they're out there. Children are one of the few points I'm not willing to compromise on at all, even if it does make me a hypocrite for having one of my own.

Affording a trip to China
I actually could make the trip without a problem, it would take a little planning, but I could easily save enough money for a comfortable week in China in a month or two. I can't spend more than a week due to my job's PTO policies, but the trip itself isn't an issue. However, as you're well aware, chnlove has a tendency to suck money pretty rapidly. I can't afford to save for the trip and continue paying chnlove's fees, due to my other obligations (house payment and child support mainly), which I've told Stefanie, and I would expect any honest and serious women to understand.

Points raised by David E and Maxx
That is pretty much what I have been thinking lately - if she was really serious about our relationship, then she would jump at the chance to be in more regular contact, by any means necessary. I called her on all the delays and excuses that have occurred, with her replying that it has just been really bad luck. That's what led me here - it's all a bit too convenient...I want to trust her, after all I have spent the last few months talking with her, but I'm a bit skeptical at this point. I've been considering giving her an ultimatum that I won't put up with another delay when she gets back to school, but with her reluctance to chat on QQ, I'm seriously wondering if it's even worth waiting the couple of weeks for, or just cut my losses at this point, chalk it up to experience learned, and move on.

I sent Stefanie another letter last night, demanding a reason for why she seems so reluctant to talk other than through chnlove, but I've yet to get a reply back. I guess we'll see what happens next.

Just to tell you guys a little about me, I have problems starting conversations with people. That's one of the reasons I like the internet...it's part of my nature to watch and observe, before joining in. Once I get past the initial meeting and conversation starts flowing, I'm usually okay, but I prefer to know as much about someone or a group before participating. It's been a problem I've battled my whole life, since I have an almost irrational fear of rejection that I've never been able to overcome. To be honest, if it wasn't for Robert's reaching out on Xingfu, I would probably still be lurking here and feeding more of my hard-earned into the chnlove system. It's one of the reasons I've had such a hard time meeting women, or even growing my social circle around where I live.

As an aside, and at risk of derailing the thread (hey, it's my thread I can derail it if I want to :P) any advice you guys can give for learning Chinese? I've been looking online, but since I don't personally know anyone that speaks Chinese, that part has been very hard. I'm to the point I can read some Pinyin and understand it, but Hanzi still escapes me...

Willy The Londoner:
I have a Chinese Language teacher who comes 3 days a week.  But in between these I go to Ask Benny on you tube. He has dozens and dozens of videos short but really down to the point and I find those are the best because they are not to heavy.

Looking at your replies then it strikes me that you are yet another victim of the Chnlove scam.

If you really want to find a genuine Chinese lady then get over here if you can. At your age there will be a line of women wanting to chat with you.

Willy

Pineau:
Ditto what Willy said. Get over to China but dont go cold. Have names and phone numbers of ladies that have agreed to meet with you before you go.

I used Pimsleur Mandaring Chinese learning course. I have volumes I, II , III. Perhaps I could find  way to "loan" them to you as I am not using them right now.  I put them in the car CD player and listened to them on the way to work. They are very interactive and you must participate in the conversation.  (not good for sleep learning)

Robertt S:
Just to give you an idea of what quality of fake passports are available in China. This is a fake passport that has been used in an internet scam.

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