General Discussion and Useful Links > Ask An Experienced Member
Need some advice
Willy The Londoner:
Skype video contact is free and it can be used in China. as well as in Canada.
I have been here for more than 5 years and always have used skype without any problems.
When you send emf's the lady does not receive them The translator will pass her the message by telephone and take any answer and send it to you.
The translator can omit anything that is not in the agencies interest both ways and neither you or the lady will ever know.
Willy
CypherDragon:
So I have seen reading some of the stories here. Is it always done via phone? I know that Stefanie has her own laptop, since that's she's been on when we've chatted...and one of the times we were going to have a call, she said that her phone had broken and couldn't make it then, but she still got my EMF and replied to it the same day.
I hope I'm not coming off as defensive, and if I am please feel free to call me on it. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on, or if it's better to cut my losses and run :-\
maxx:
Willy Skype and QQ don't always work the deeper you get in China. It do's work great on the coast.
As far as cypherdragon go's I would just wait to see what happens in a couple of weeks. The schools do start back up again in a couple of weeks. If she is really going to school in Canada. It is hugely expensive. So she has got a sponsor. So she isn't going to kick that to the curb.
Robert mentioned she may have somebody else on the line. She could have. There has not ben a meeting so nothing is set. She maybe keeping her options open.
I would just wait it out for a couple of weeks.And see how this works out.
Pineau:
CypherDragon,
In my humble opinion you have already been robbed. Yes it is a scam. To accept a QQ friend takes just a single click of the mouse. There is no excuse. You are being spoon fed bullshit flavored with endorphins.
Everyone that comes here with this same story eventually figures out that they have been had several hundred or thousand dollars later. It all smells just to familiar.
The phone conveniently broke. Wow, amazing. Next the internet will break!
Passport with a Canadian visa in it. The Chinese are masters at forging documents and making fake things seem real.
My friend you are falling in love with the translator. Stephanie probably has no idea of who you are and even if she does she is not reading or sending EMFs to you . The translator is.
"All of our phone calls at least have been direct - no translator involved." Well I know a lady in Guangzhou that worked for one of the marriage agencies. She speaks good (broken)English and they call her into the agency from time to time to chat on the phone with foreigners, in place of the woman you think you are speaking with. My guess is you spoke with a stand in.
Do you really want the truth?
Are you absolutely certain she is going to school in Canada? Did you make the call and was it a Canadian phone number?
Try this.
Refuse to talk to her until she is ready for a video call. Scary!
Demand that she does a video call with you. Very Scary! maybe they will dump you.
Block her on Chnlove and see what happens. If she cant EMF you then the other alternative is QQ. This will probably end it forever.
Shenzhen women (many of them) are stunning. They must be in order to live well there. I took a look at Stephanie. She in a nice looking lady. But don't be surprised if she does not measure up to her photos. Those are professional glamour shots and the highlights have been intensified (to hide wrinkles and blemishes) and they have been photoshopped. And I am a bit surprised that such a lovely lady went to college in Canada and some nice Canadian boy didn't snatch her up already....think about it.
I hope I am wrong and crying wolf. You seem to be very fond of Stephanie. But if you are being scammed then you need to protect yourself. I have been in your shoes and it cost me dearly to find out that I was being had. TWICE I WAS A FOOL! I found my wife the old fashion way. I went to China and started dating.
My new friend there are so many red flags in your accounting. Either she is real or she is fake. (I'm leaning toward fake.) Its more than red flags, the barn is on fire! You cant see it because your too close it. And don't be embarrassed if you have been played. It happens to the best of us. But you are still young and can sort this all out. Analyze it yourself. Take yourself out of the equation and for a minute pretend it is your best friend telling you this story. Now look at it piece by piece and as someone not involved and advise him based on your analysis, what he should do. I think if you can do that, the answer is clear.
It is hard to remove yourself and feelings from this but you must if you want to have a sound unbiased opinion.
I agree with Maxx. School starts soon. Wait it out but be there to greet her. No excuses. Save yourself a trip and try to verify her enrollment in the classes.
I also agree with Robert. "start demanding some concrete proof "
An after thought. Just gather the information you need for making you decision. This is no value in accusations or confrontation. If they think that you have doubts they will have stories prepared on step ahead of you. If you present a suspicion without hard evidence they will explain it away like no big deal. They are great at thinking on their feet and can create one lie after another until you are convinced you are wrong and ready to apologize to her.
Pineau:
Well you came here for advice. So now you got me thinking.
If Stephanie turns out to be a potbelly translator with a hairy chest...Where do you go from there?
For sure, far away from Chnlove. You can get lucky there and a lot of the guys have. Just look online . You will find a few success stories and just as many horror stories and a few that are obviously written by Chnlove staff to defend their employer.
Here's a good story.
"I created a joke profile featuring an absolutely hideous picture of a white male and saying things like in my free time I like to beat women and pee on myself and that I'm unemployed looking for a rich whore etc. I still got just as many responses as my real profile did."
Do you sense that I am biased? Well yes I am. I am out a couple thousand over two different "fake" ladies I met in Chnlove. I am not a stupid man but the translators have much more practice and experience than you and I together.
I see you have a few problems. You are 33 years old, right? Well if you find someone your age she is probably divorced with a kid. If you can handle that then fine but remember that her priority in life is NOT YOU! It is to assure the survival and comfort of her own DNA (her kid). If you are very very lucky she is still single. Most of the better choices are about 10-15 years older than you and I would certainly beware of someone younger than you. China is not a rice farm any more. The younger ladies are street wise and sophisticated.
You say you are having trouble raising money to travel to China. That s big problem because you will need to go eventually to meet or just get some prospects.
And how do you make connections? Well QQ groups are a good start. There are user groups you can join and there are dating personal ads there too. Dont ask where cause its been a long time. Enable google translate on you Chrome browser. Then set it to always translate. You qet you QQ pages in English (as best google can do)
There is Chinese love match. Chineselove cupid. (they are the ones that bought chnlove but I don't think the policies carried over yet). There are many more but those two are my favorites. http://www.chinalovecupid.com/ http://www.chinalovematch.net/
There is also Roberts site http://www.xingfulove.com/
And my thread on here. http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3308.msg66127.html#msg66127 but the women there are too old for you.
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