Shaun,
Hahaha, No, no-ones upset with me, ...well maybe Chong!!
No, I've been working on sizing some heavy cables on a project i'm designing, and couldn't get the program to do the calc's correctly. so had to do them by hand, only to find when i was nearing the end that i had the program to the wrong setting!! ....Grrrr!! Still all done now. ..haha!!
OK, you want a more detailed answer.... I think i'd better get one thing straight here before i go any further.
I have never thought of Jessica as a bad person as such, i have only tried to point out that she had been dishonest with Mike. Now it really doesn't matter her reasons, the fact is that she was, and for a very long time too. This so called self protection mode is fine, but you can't keep that up for 14 months and still be able to use that as a reasonable excuse or explanation. I have never thought or implied that she was out to get at Mike, in fact that's the first time it's ever come up.
There are ways and means for the ladies to protect themselves, against men that have ulterior motives other than for finding a wife. Somewhere along the line, after all the EMF's the IM/Cam private emails and whatever other mode of communication, there has to be some sort of trust to make that final decision on whether to meet that guy or not. Some will inevitably get hurt/burnt in the process, but that goes for the guys too..
Don't forget, all these meetings are conducted in there own country, so the moment they want out, for whatever reason, good or bad they can....and we know that they do!!
There were other options open to her also, ...like hiding her profile until such time she was ready to try again, or try to get Mikes email address, and let him know what's going on. No, not having a computer isn't an excuse, Japan like everywhere else has cyber cafe's everywhere, and if she didn't have computer skills, i bet her 16 year old daughter has. But that option requires a little effort on her part, ...and that just it, there was never any effort shown, to get to know Mike better during those 14 months!!
As you say, Mike may well be, the only man on this Forum to be able to see past all the other stuff, and get to the core issues of what's been happening and why. At least it seems as if she is coming clean, and telling the truth to Mike since he's been in the country. As it stands now, Mike had made his own decisions as an individual to overlook/forgive the dishonesty that brought him out to China, which is, as everyone says here commendable, and i'm sure he wouldn't of taken those decisions lightly, or if he couldn't of seen light at the end of the tunnel. ...None of this has ever been an issue with me, or anyone else as far as i can see!!
I think the main issues between the sides so to speak, is that there are some here, that are now condoning what she had done to Mike for all those months, and some even going as far to saying, among other things that she was honest!!! Well i'm sorry, she wasn't, and there is No getting away from that fact! even Mike has said he had to admit that.
This condoning of a particular lady, is doing nothing for the aims of this Forum who are in the main, trying to fight through this to find ways of stopping or minimising, the amount of dishonesty that's going on within the agencies and by the ladies themselves. Are we aware that ladies have been hurt and or burned?? Maybe not as much as we should be, but none the less there is rarely if any excuse that can be held up as being an OK for being dishonest in an ongoing relationship, especially an internet relationship.... where honesty is the real bedrock of any chance of success...
David....
Note... This was written while Mike had already posted his last posting, ( i hadn't read it ) there are maybe a couple of points that could be changed or added to here, but the main gist i think remains the same.....
