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TO LIE OR NOT TO LIE?

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stuart barlow:
Ive just been made redundant,even though i told the lady things are quiet at work i haven't told her this.
i have abit of savings,but i have to cut back drastically as my bills haven't been made redundant (bummer)thing is i can only get a few credits at a time.she's already notice the difference and asking,
i told her i have a pre-booked holiday from last year and im just getting money together for that and she's still the light of my life, i told her i was going away on the 15th for 8days to give me some time and i'll try and contact her whilst on holiday.
But i dont know what to do as i feel really guilty lying.
        I FEEL BOMBED OUT AND PIG SICK.

Paul Todd:
Hi Stuart
It's always best to be honest with your lady and not put doubt in her mind. I do contract maintenance work and was laid off in late January. I told my lady about this. The Chinese are suffering just as much if not more from the global downturn as us, they understand whats going on.She won't think badly about you because of this. These lady's want to share your troubles and support you, and sharing brings you closer.I was out of work for close to two months and my saving took a hit, but we used the time to do web cam every day. Now I'm back in work it's tough because we can only web cam when I can fit it in. We both miss our time together. E-mail and QQ cost nothing, maybe you could try this.She will understand and think better of you for being straight with her. Knowing someone is there for you helps when times get hard.Best of luck my friend.

victor-hills:
Now the feeling well stuart i was made redundant in feb still no luck of a job yet last job i went for there was 60 other guys going for the same job i made it to the sort list of 5 but still no luck,i told my lady of what was happing she sead we can work it out wich i thought was good keep intuch by email started of ok but its died out i cant blam her but still feel gutted good luck bud.

Hajo:
Hey Stuart, I agree with Paul. Tell her the truth and maybe you can figure out some agreement writing just once or twice a week. But write more then. The economy is bad all over the planet. And they know that in China too. If she really likes you, she will stick with you!

Brent:
Telling her the truth might disturb your relationship but it'll more likely help relieve a lot of stress.

My story:  I was laid off in early November and went through all my savings for my trip just to stay afloat. I was supposed to be in China 4 weeks from now too. :(

She knew I was out of a job and understood it was because of the economy. At first i was really hoping to get something early on and just get back on track and still visit her in May. After a month or so out of work I told her I'll need to postpone it until late summer. After two+ months I didn't have the heart to tell her that I really had no idea when I'd see her and it really tore me up when she still talked about seeing me in the summer in her following letters.

Eventually we broke it off, first because her mother was on the verge of disowning her for considering to leave China to be with me and I then told her with my situation I didn't know when I would be able to see her so with our two situations perhaps it would be best if we took a break. That break quickly became permanent and though I tried to stay in contact with her at least once a week and I even got a new job a couple weeks later, it was over.

The thing is as much as I cared for this girl and was sad to see it end the amount of stress released for not having to worry about figuring out how to get the money to see her helped me refocus on my situation and get it fixed.

I'd just be honest with her. I'd suggest just telling her the truth and tell her you need to cut the letters down to a couple a week. In the meantime try and focus on your own life more. Hopefully that will lead to a new direction and you'll find a new job, maybe find some time to take a course and get a degree to further your skills so you can find something better and then you won't have to worry about the money situation anymore. If you let your lady know about your motivation and she truly does care for you she'll be patient and impressed that you care about her so much that it's motivated you to make your situation better so you can be together sooner rather than later, bad economy be damned. ;)

Best of luck!

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