China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Josh Markley on March 29, 2009, 09:35:11 pm
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I met my girl Le back in dec. She had sent me an admiration letter. I had not been on the site for at least six months. I was dating an adopted korean girl who basically thought I needed to be her sugar daddy. When I saw Le's message I cut the rope on the korean girl. I was really into her first message it really made me want to get to know her. So I have been talking to her twice a week for the past few months. I have over looked alot of things chalking it up to cultural differences. Like our first few message she always replied with the very same things. I would also ask her questions and they would be totaly ignored. I also know this girl has a life outside of me, but the replies I am recieving now are getting shorter and shorter. I mean I will fill out the whole 6000 characters, her letters are much shorter. She used to tell me she misses me and can't wait to hear from me. I do not see this anymore? Do you guys think she is backing out? I think I just might be crazy, because I want this so badly i might just be freaking myself out. Well here is a copy of my last note.
My dearest Joshua:
How are you today? I hope you are doing well! I am so happy to receive your letter today! You always on my mind, my baby, please don't worry about it, ok? Haha~ these days are very cold, the weather is unusual, so, I also hope you could take care of yourself for me!
So, you made a chinese name for yourself? Meng Zhi Shen? Do you like it? Haha~ which is the family name? I don't know the meaning of it, but if you like it so much, please keep it for yourself!
You always show your feeling in detail, and I could understand them very well, I know that every word comes from your heart, they makes me feel so warm in the cold days, I feel that your love is so strong to me, and I want to treasure it.
Thank you so much for your pics, I always be happy to see them, you make me feel so happy in life, I would like to contact more with you, because you make my life to be colorful. Please never doubt about your letter, it always touch me a lot, I am not good at express my feeling, hope you don't mind about it!
Take care and have a nice day!
Yours,
Le
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Josh I can't see nothing wrong with the letter.It looks like your approach needs some help.
You said you started talking to the lady in December.Writing 2 times a weak.I think it is time to step the game up a little bit.Get her phone # tell her you want to hear her sweet voice.No matter how bad her English is.Have you sent the lady flowers?.Have you told her what day you are going to China?
Josh if you don't start moving this relationship forward.This lady will loose interest.And then you have an expensive pen pal
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Hey Josh,
I wouldn't start freaking out yet! If you are wondering about her feelings towards you, wait a few days and see if she contacts you to check on you! She could have a different work schedule that makes it hard to collect and return letters immediately. I am not sure how you two are communicating, but I am using the emf service and I know that due to my girls work schedule and the agency hours are not always in sync., so I have to wait until she has time to go there and collect my letter and write her answer before the agency closes. The long work days make a long reply difficult sometimes, not to mention having to travel back and forth to the agency. Anyway, I wouldn't panic yet, maybe spell your concerns out to her so she will understand your feelings.
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Josh I can't see nothing wrong with the letter.It looks like your approach needs some help.
You said you started talking to the lady in December.Writing 2 times a weak.I think it is time to step the game up a little bit.Get her phone # tell her you want to hear her sweet voice.No matter how bad her English is.Have you sent the lady flowers?.Have you told her what day you are going to China?
Josh if you don't start moving this relationship forward.This lady will loose interest.And then you have an expensive pen pal
Maxx,
Yes I had suggested that we start having more communication, I was ging to start sending her more messages. She said she does not have a computer so no e-mail. She did give me her number I have not talked to her on the phone yet maybe that will be the next step I take. I hope she agrees I had asked once before but never answered the question. I have never sent her flowers but I was going to get on that tomorrow. I did send her a valetines gift but she never recieved it. I have not told her but I plan on a trip in july of november. Thanks for the info Maxx.
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Hey Josh,
I wouldn't start freaking out yet! If you are wondering about her feelings towards you, wait a few days and see if she contacts you to check on you! She could have a different work schedule that makes it hard to collect and return letters immediately. I am not sure how you two are communicating, but I am using the emf service and I know that due to my girls work schedule and the agency hours are not always in sync., so I have to wait until she has time to go there and collect my letter and write her answer before the agency closes. The long work days make a long reply difficult sometimes, not to mention having to travel back and forth to the agency. Anyway, I wouldn't panic yet, maybe spell your concerns out to her so she will understand your feelings.
Robert,
The first contact was the only first step she has taken. I was sick with brochititis and in the hospital for a week and was unable to contact when I usually do. She did not see if I was okay then. I sent her a message after i got out explaining. I was confused why she had not tried to contact find out what was wrong.
Thanks for your info
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Hate to say it but I don't see anything in there that makes me think there's anything more then like a penpal. It's empty, generic and seems almost like a form letter. I would walk away. Here's a difference, part of a letter from my lady.
My darling, I hope there will be no misunderstandings between us, right? Your Song is always here missing you. and no matter what happened, I just hope you can remember that I love you and I will always remember you love me! :)
See a difference? Don't know how much you have into this but doesn't sound like something I would count on.
That is what I used to get except for the love she said she has never loved before, but she knows how i love her. Boy I hope you are wrong.
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Josh, I know what you are going through. I had the same doubts and was almost going nuts about it. My letters used although to be very long. But it took time to compose them. I figured, my lady doesn't have a couple of hours to do that at the agency. So, her letters are bit short, too. And if it was the agency/translator playing with you, you would probably get one each day.
If have been suggested to involve the translator. I did and it seems to pay off. Just ask the translator to encourage your lady. I left a message in the body of my letter.
If I were you, I would tell her about planning to go to China. It shows her your seriousness. If you want to read about my doubts and thoughts then read http://thebesteverhappenedtome.blogspot.com/. I think your lady is just a little shy. I wish it will work out for you.
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Josh, I know what you are going through. I had the same doubts and was almost going nuts about it. My letters used although to be very long. But it took time to compose them. I figured, my lady doesn't have a couple of hours to do that at the agency. So, her letters are bit short, too. And if it was the agency/translator playing with you, you would probably get one each day.
If have been suggested to involve the translator. I did and it seems to pay off. Just ask the translator to encourage your lady. I left a message in the body of my letter.
If I were you, I would tell her about planning to go to China. It shows her your seriousness. If you want to read about my doubts and thoughts then read http://thebesteverhappenedtome.blogspot.com/. I think your lady is just a little shy. I wish it will work out for you.
Hajo,
Thank you for your words, I will take your advice I think I am going to ask the translator about our first phone contact at least. And I will tell her in my next letter to her about my plans to visit her. Im gonna check your blog out. Agian thanks for your words and encouragement.
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Good advice Maxx. You do have to step up your game... two letters a week are not that many.
Most of the ladies work long hours and are writing back to you at the end of the day so that is why I think they write shorter letters.
However if she is not answering some of your questions then re-ask them! Good luck... I hope things work out for you two!
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Well, It kinda looks like a letter i once received, and I do not want to discourage you, but it looks like a letter that was written by the translator. I could be wrong, and i hope i am. Hope it all works out for you. Perhaps try to contact her directly,maybe by phone if that is possible.
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I don't know if this will help in your situation, but at one time, i also found the letters getting shorter and shorter. So one day I sent a very short letter, instead of the usual 6000 letter one. Strangest thing happened. The very next letter I got was big!
That's how it worked for me. Of course, my girlfriend is very busy, so I don't expect her to write a long letter everyday. She has a life outside of me...apparently i had a life before Chnlove...I just can't remember it.
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Just a little update guys, while I was chatting with Arnold, Vince, and Martin last night I figured I was being to relaxed in this whole thing and just thought maybe I had her hook, line, and sinker. Everyone here has help me realize that this is not the case. So I pressed a little last night. I had sent her a couple of text when I had got her number. I thought what the hell i gotta do it. So I sent her another that read "My love I hope you understand me here, I miss you very much. You are my world, and I wasnt to give you my heart." In the back of my mind I didnt thin I was gonna get a reply. To my surprise at 330 am i got a text. She finally told her parents. I am stoked! I know now she will reply to my texts next is the phone call.
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Sounds great Josh. They are more shy than one expects. I am very happy on your behalf! :)
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This is a very big step for her Josh.. Keep up the good work
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What a buzz that first contact outside the agency is! Now pick it up and run with it. Best of luck my friend
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Hey Josh let me add my $0.02 here. I had a spell when I got some letters from my lady that were kind of short and did not answer some of my questions so I asked her about it and I posted a question to the translator at the bottom of the page. I got a reply from both of them. My lady said she was having to work extra hours as she had many financial statements to get out. The translator assured me my lady was fine just working very hard. As soon as the statements were done all was back to normal. You might try asking her and ask the translator, if he/she is honest and there are some that are, then you should be able to get a clue as to where things are.
Another similar issue deals with email. I asked for and got a phone number, she was nervous but after the second request she gave it to me. We have talked several times a week ever since. Try to learn Chinese, even a few poorly spoken Chinese words will make a world of differnece. I have gotten many letters from my lady telling me how happy and proud she that I speak new Chinese words to her each time we are on the phone. I asked my lady for her email address after we had writtenfor about 3 months using EMF. She told me she did not have internet so I let it go. About a month ago when we were talked she mentioned that she got some pictures in an email. I waited a week and then asked her about the pictures and asked for her email address. She was hesitant because she doubts her English ability. I wrote back using EMF and again posted a question to the translator. The transltor told me her english was much better than my lady thinks it is. We have been emailing every day after we got past the initial couple. Her biggest concern was a misunderstanding or wrong translation. She writes some in English and some in Chinese. I use MDBG to translate since it has the definitions and pinyin. We are doing great now.
The point of this epistle is be sincere and strong but not overbearing. Be sensitive and reassuring to her. Assure her that you will not let language be a barrier and that you are willing to work as hard as she does to over come the language and cultural differences. But when all is said and done if she is not willing to take at least one small step for the one or two you have taken then do not prolong the suffering. As Maxx said step things up and let her know that you are sincere not just another westerner who will never go beyond writing.
Sorry to be so long winded, I hope at least one thing here helps.
Peace,
Tom
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Sounds great Josh. They are more shy than one expects. I am very happy on your behalf! :)
Hajo. Thanks man I appreciate it, by the way I read your blogs they were a tremendous help everything you have went through I am going through now.
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I don't know if this will help in your situation, but at one time, i also found the letters getting shorter and shorter. So one day I sent a very short letter, instead of the usual 6000 letter one. Strangest thing happened. The very next letter I got was big!
That's how it worked for me. Of course, my girlfriend is very busy, so I don't expect her to write a long letter everyday. She has a life outside of me...apparently i had a life before Chnlove...I just can't remember it.
Martin, Thanks for the insight. I am pretty sure she is a very busy woman. She is a Japanese translator and spends her days translating documents. Sounds to me to be a stressful tedious job. She also spends alot of time with here friends and family. I don't expect her to drop her life for me. Because really she sounds like a strong independent woman outside the fact she loves her family and friends which to me are all endearing qualities. Although I have found everything I do Is for this woman and our future.
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Josh, Hi ... Nice to meet you !!!
As mentioned in the posts above, that letter is too generic. Many of us have gotten that same type of letter ... basically, it says nothing personal except flattery. The purpose of the translator is to bridge the communication; therefore, there should be no reason for the lady not to answer your questions. If she can't communicate with you in letters, she ain't going to in real life. As Hajo wrote, get your translator involved. Ask your questions one more time ... if she doesn't answer them ... it's time to find another lady that will ... otherwise, you'll be getting the same type of flattery letter everytime. You want to read about her work, family, friends, hobbies, type of clothes she likes, food, her values = ( specifics ) ..... not the weather, that she misses you, that she wants to hear from you more, that she feels your warmth & love, "baby", "haha" = ( all flattery ).
All the best, Chong
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Going to have to agree with Chong on this one. If I had a credit back for every one of these letters I've received (either EMF or Admiration/Cupid) I'd be putting a down payment on a yacht. You DEFINITELY need more real-time, real-life specifics. Weather/I miss you = nothing real to talk about. I would bet money it's a translator. That doesn't mean your lady isn't real, but you need to either find a way back to HER, or move on. Just my feedback, and one can always be wrong, but if it's advice you are looking for I would break out the rod and reel and recast.
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I had a similar problem with the girl I used to write to early on in our communications so I came up with a simple idea that works pretty well to get her letters to be longer.
Tell her you'd like the both of you to make a commitment to every letter you write each other and in each letter you'll finish it by asking two questions which can be anything. It was always interesting because we expected to answer our own questions by the next letter too. So every letter you're answering four questions then asking two. Even if her answers are brief it'll lengthen her letters and best of all you learn a hell of a lot more about your girl and it gives you a lot to talk about. The only problem is that you actually have a tough time to coming up with original questions eventually. I found many times we actually repeated questions to each other only because we had already asked so much. But I highly recommend giving it a shot.
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Ni Hao??
A little update. I succeeded at getting her to send me a longer letter. I took everyones advice and for the most part it worked. I received her personal e-mail address, and the add thing I also received a second phone number. This has me confused a little. But she had asked me to set up a phone call for friday, with a translator. So I left a comment in the box after you rate the service, asking to set up a time to talk. She answered most of my questions. Well enough to keep me satisfied. Well I will let you guys take a look at the letter,
My dearest Josh:
How are you today? I hope you are doing well on everything, yes, I had a nice weekend as usual, I always stay with my family, the weather here was not very good in the past days, but it is better now, at least the sunshine appears now, yes, you always be correct on everything, haha~
My work is not very busy now, because you know the economy crises, so, I have more my time to do my own things, but because of the bad weather, I don't go to outside more, my baby, I am sorry that if I made my letter to be shorter, in fact, I am not good at express my feeling, and I think that I already shoe everything about me to you, haha, please don't care about the length about my letter, I don't change my feeling on you.
Thank you so much that you always care about my family, they are fine, and they already knew you recently, but they don't see your pics, I just told them about you, they said that as long as you are a very nice and sincere man, they will be happy about us! Do you like the good news? Haha~
My friends don't know you now, please don't worry about it, they will know you in the near future, and when my friends and me get together, we always go shopping and go karaoke with them, and they are very nice girls, almost them already got marry, their names are Zhang Jing, Zhang Yan and Zhao Jing.
I think that english is really very hard to learn, I have e-mail address, it is @yahoo.cn, and I have the translation software could help me a lot, maybe not very correct, and we could talk on the phone with the translator in the agency, please arrange a time, ok? You'd better to make a time after the day after tomorrow. And my phone number is \.
So happy that you will come to China this July, I think that it is a good time to visit you, and no matter how many days you want to stay is ok for me, I always open my heart on you, please don't worry about it, ok? I never got the package that you sent to me, I am sorry about it, you could bring something in person when you come, anything is ok for me!!
I am happy that you always show me your true feeling, you don't scare me, haha, I look forward to talk with you on the phone or exchange letters sometimes in the personal ways.
Take care and have a nice day!
Yours,
Le
Hi, Josh, her english skill is not very good, and both of you could get the translator's help when you talk on the phone, hope you could have a happy time when you talk with her in person!
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Josh..one word dude.."Tbot"
Add it as a buddy on msn and invite it to your conversations..it will translate your words to Chinese and hers to English. Its really good, I've used it several times with Ling's friend that has pretty basic English and we talked just fine.
Le sounds really sweet and the fact that she is willing to try using the translator on a phone call is significant..she really wants to make it work. I think if you are both learning each others languages then the Tbot is the way to go..if she has a computer and a web cam you can just wave and see each others expressions while you type to eachother, at least the conversation is genuine then.
I highly recommend "Pimsleur Chinese" (google it) for learning to speak it, i listen to it in the car to and from work, its slow but steady progress ..a bit like building those biceps..it takes dedication and effort..but if you do it right the results are great :)
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Thanks Ronan! Never used msn but I will have to set up an account. I will send her a note asking if she has her own computer. I will do this I sent her a message at her e-mail took me over an hour for a couple of sentences. She is well worth it though. Oh yes this type of relationship takes the same characteritics as bodybuilding does. Extremely hard to do both of them at the same time lol!
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Google language> chinese>simple you can put a whole letter in and it will translate. tested it and they said (Chn girls) it was the best for them to read.
http://www.google.com/translate_t
Thanks Vince Thats awesome! I can send her a small message to let her know I am thinking about her.
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I may as well chime in here. MDBG is a decent translotion, it gives both the Cinese Characters and the pin yin with definitions and has a great dictionary. Look at http://de.mdbg.net/chindict/chindict.php?page=translate if you are interested.
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Some basic love phrase's to text to your lady. http://www.zapchinese.com/Chinese-phras ... hrases.htm
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You guys have been so very helpful. I am making my first phone call to Le tonight, I am excited and nervous at the same time.
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Hey guys I just got off the phone with my girl. The first call was awesome and akward at the same time. I was to call her at 11 am her time and called right on the dot. She was not at the agency yet so she said hello laughted tried to talk to me then hung up on me it was cute. The translator was a male who sounded like an american. He was very helpful and funny. He laughed the whole time he was translating dont know if it was at me or he just thought it was a good time. We made small talk nothing of substance I just wanted to hear her voice. We talked about the pictures she sent me and the personal emails we have sent to each other. She was really nervous, it was super cute. Her mother was there and asked me a few questions about my family. And she wants to see pictures of my family. It will be very good to get the mother behind me. Le will not do anything with out here parents approval. Her mother also said she cant wait to meet me. You guys connot believe how happy I am.
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GREAT, Josh. That sounds just wonderful. I am glad it showed there was no reason to be concerned. Again it shows that many of our concerns aren't necessarry.
Keep us updated.
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Josh good job glad to hear you made the first phone call.It should be a little easer next time.Just keep it moving make steady progress.
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Well played Josh as we would say here, you got a great result!
Getting the mother on board is a big step, you must have said the right things, well done!
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we have now started chatting on msn. I thank all you guys for your advice. I think without your guys help I would have lost her. I owe a debt of grattitude to you all that put their 2 cents in. I believe Le and and I will have a way to build a great relationship now.
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You know , it's really hard to say , since there are so many factors involved here with different Lady's and Agency's . What I see is exactly the same type of letter I still receive from Min ( sister ) in Baoding . They do look like Form letter's most of the time with a little sweetness added to make it look like it's not .
Now my Wife , at the very beginning alway's pretty much wrote letter's the same if not even longer than mine sometimes . That also goes for my sister Lily in Kunming . The last two , you know right away , that these are coming right from the Lady's themself's , with only the Translator doing his Job .... Translating .... nothing else . Min's a shy Lady , but with her continuing short letter's and not much substance to make a great forward moving relationship , this would not be my first choice of concidering her for Wife material . Don't get me wrong , she is a very kind and softhearted person , that's why I kept her as a Sister , but ... Wife ... No . So , I myself Josh , only if this is not moving ahead , find another to write to and see if that will improof your Communication's more . I know we all should take our time here , but time cost Money ( EMF's ) and we do need to spend it wisely , especially now in the bad Economy . Hope this is helping .
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Josh , well a little late with my advice , but it is not just for you , it can help the ones after you with the same problem .
I am happy for you that your relationship with Le is going the right way . Now it's time for some good quality time .
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Josh I am very happy your first phone call went so well. Plus now you have already met her mother! Way to go! :D
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Josh, way to go dude, now all you have to do is keep talking to Le and her Mom, do as Mom asked and things will go easier :roll: for the two of you, next step, go see your lady and her family. :D
Good luck and keep up the great work. ;)
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To anyone here who knows...I just got the phone number of a girl, and talked to her even though we don't speak but a word or two of each other's language at this point.
My question -- how to you send a text message on the phone in Chinese? I would love to do that, but do you write it in pinyin (or whatever it's called), or what do you do? Thanks.
I use - http://www.talk2china.com/english/
You can send in Chinese or English and is dirt cheap. Your girl can reply back to you by sending a regular text message to the number it sends from (costs her regular text price - 0.1RMB), it then emails you her reply or you can check it in real time on the website. I can't sent texts to china from my mobile phone at all here so this is a pretty good fit. They can even sent you regular attachments, pictures etc from their phones to you this way, its pretty cool.
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Vince , I guess , I can tell you right here . I try'd your Link to have English translated to Chinese . I wrote Qing a short letter in English and have the Computer translate it to Character's and I send it off . Today , I received a reply from her laughing and telling me that it is pretty bad , but she could barely make out what I mend to say . So this is not a very good way to do it , it seems . If it was perfect , who would need Chnlove's translator's ? Thought , I just let you know this .
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I know I posted somewhere before but I use MDGB at http://de.mdbg.net/chindict/chindict.php?page=translate It gives you the Chinese characters and it also gives you the pinyin with the definition for each character. I usually write a paragraph and translate it, look at the pin yin and then copy and paste the chinese characters to translate back to English. Often it works well the first time but there are times when I rewrite a sentense so that it makes sense when translated both ways. Also having the definitions of the character & pin yin on the page lets you have better idea of what you really translated. NO it will never replace a human-in-the-loop translator, and it is a little work to translate bidirectionally and edit. But so far my lady has understood all of my letters and I asked her to be honest, I think she was.
Hope this helps.
Tom
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I have been using google translator, and for the most part it has worked wonderfully. There has been times where the translation had her all kinds of confused like this evening when I had asked her if she needed to go since she had a busy day. She replied back 'you dont want to come see me now?' But we chat on msn with very good conversations using this. Plus it helps she had purchased translator software so when she dont understand :lol: I just send to her in english then she translates it. :lol:
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Josh you might find Tbot (http://wltbot.spaces.live.com/) useful in msn, works quite well and no need for copy and pasting.
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Way to go Josh! You are moving right along. Sounds like she's putting a lot of effort and time into this thing. I'm really happy for you both. Web cam helps, and with mother on side,well just how great is that!
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Thanks Paul, yes things are working great. They want me to come earlier than I had planned, but with the summer being the busy time of the year for me I dont think I can take off sooner than scheduled. She is trying very hard, in fact she went and bought english books to learn. Things have really taken off since msn.
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i get the feeling Josh that you are going travel the Chinese road of destiny to the end here, delighted to hear its working out for you :)
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i get the feeling Josh that you are going travel the Chinese road of destiny to the end here, delighted to hear its working out for you :)
Yeah buddy im on that happy road right now, but I cant go in blind I know there is a possibilty this may not work out. I'm not worried about her its the parents. You could say im well not conservative in the least with my apperance. Le actually likes it but she does not know how her parents feel. she dont think the piercings would be a problem considering the younger generation is doing that alot now. But so far the mother seams to like me so all good.
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Sounds like it's working out. A couple of months my lady she surprised me in a letter saying she bought a electronic dictionary/translator to learn english and studies every night. I didn't ask her to? She just did. Now your lady is too.
I think it is absolutely amazing what these women will do for us. Somethin a western woman wouldnt even think of doing. Well at least that I have dated. Its always about them and what they want and need. There is no compromise. Well anyhow enough of that. Le has surprised me in every way, last night she told me she was listening to rap to learn english, it was funny cause I cant understand rap and I know english. I joked with her and told her good luck with that. She also said she is taking a second job to pay for our trips, I did not agree with this but I respect her for it. I didnt really know what to say to her about it. I know she is a very independent woman, and deserves to be treated as so. I think after paying for every trip date and everything else for the girls I dated, it had my head spinning.
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Burn her some songs that she can here english and send lyrics with it, that's what I did.
I'm in the process of filling up a little mp3 player for my girl. The smallest ipod with no screen seems perfect since you don't need to read English to use it.
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I can't imagine what kind of Rap they have there? That is to funny. I call it Rap Crap. I hate it. Doesn't take any talent, anybody could do it. I have a thing for the media that says someone's a STAR? If no one knows him/her their not Stars?
How I agree with you Vince , for that Crap , I would not spend one cent for . I'm suprised it lasted as long as it did . It turns our youth's into Punks , with no repect for anything .
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Burn her some songs that she can here english and send lyrics with it, that's what I did.
I'm in the process of filling up a little mp3 player for my girl. The smallest ipod with no screen seems perfect since you don't need to read English to use it.
That is a great idea Oh Man of Hershey! :lol:
Sounds like you got a good woman there Josh...
Big Dave
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Thanks Big Dave.
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I have to interject a little about the rap thing. I of my good friends just released his first album. He is a stand up guy and a good family man. He actually has something to say in his music that isnt like other artist. But I am a rock guy, and recently was introduced to older blues music which i enjoy very much.
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Boy , does that take the word's right out of my Mouth , Vince . That is how it is , full blast and foul language to boot . Those Kid's are all going to be hard of hearing by the time their 30 year's old and take some of us with them , having to put up with it almost on a daily bases.
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I agree with vince and arnold blasting away foul language not what i call music i'm allways telling my boy its a load of pooh,lol he says they good singers but they aint singing and not only that most of them nick songs from others and turn a bloody good song into crap oops sorry rap i mean hehe but all to there own i spose still think it pool ;)
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Good on ya Vince! I love that phrase: Can ya feel it?
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Alright Vince! Its an awesome feeling to get letters like that. Knowing that they are trying and its for you.
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Just a little update on how things are working out for Le and I. Since we started chatting on msn she has opened up to me alot. I think she was a little skeptical with who was on the other side writing to her. When she figured out that everything in those letters were from me and my heart she really blossomed. I knew she was shy and her families opinion of me were very important. And when we were writing through emf's she had never mentioned me to her friends or family. Now she is always telling me how much her mother likes me and cant wait to visit with me and she wants to cook for me. When we started using msn she would not talk about about anything personal. Now she is telling me she would like to be married in the U.S and that she wants our children to have my eyes, she looks forward to having mixed children. She is really a very happy and romantic girl that I did not know through our emf's. I booked my flight and and rooms in Beijing and in Baoding. Going in July. I am super stoked! This girl does not cook but is learning from her mother so she can cook for me when I visit. I look forward to eating her burnt food :lol: I dont think it will be that bad. Thanks for reading guys!
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Yeah I am beginning to see that, its almost a dream, a fairy tale. I mean seriously you hear of all the fairy tales for little girls. They all mostly relay the same message, to find a handsome rich man. I think we need to collectively write a fairy tale childrens book so little boys have something to look forward to. :lol: Its awsome though never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find a beautiful girl that has brains and is very sweet. Well guys its about time for her to log on.
I tried to reboot it let me know if it came back up(avatar)
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Thanks Hajo, I can always count on you guys to lift my spirits. I know Im a lucky, lucky guy. Being in love with this woman is the greatest thing I have ever expeirenced.
I actually have a question for you guys. When Xule and I were discussing children earlier in the week she told me she and her parents had discussed after the children were old enough we could send them to her parents and they would raise them. She said her parents were happy to do this. And that she wanted us to be free together. Has Anyone been through this or what do you guys think? I might have stepped on her toes. I told her that was a nice gesture by her parents, but the whole reason I want children is to raise them and watch them grow. She agreed and it was the end of the conversation. I am not sure I dont know if it because she is going to feel bad for leaving her parents alone, or se thinks it might be a safer enviroment for them.
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I think Maxx has a very good point there. It is probably a typical thing in China to do, though you have time to go work and so on. I don't know if they have daycare centers for kids in China. If they don't, then it would be kind of natural to pass the kids on to grandparents. Then the parents have time to work and make sure there is money for the living. When the kids have a certain age they come back to the parents. That's what I think could be the explanation for it.
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Josh, my grilling was mostly about making sure I knew what kind of wife I had and what kind of wife she will be for me.
It seemed clear that the importance was on me that I understood and was ok with that. I admit she dutifuly takes care of everything but I do my best to keep a balance...
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Awsome Josh , some of these Women are really like a dream come true . Also , the way we do find them , is even more amazing . Start counting the day's , if you not already are .
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Josh, instead of being sad, you should look forward to see her again soon. Happyness is always better than sadness. Look always on the bright side!! I know it's easier to say than to do, but give it a try. Don't worry, be happy...for the relationship you two have.
Instead of telling yourself "I have to wait 5 more days", say "it's 2 days less to seeing her again". Take care and remember, you are a very lucky man because you are in love ;)
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Good question, Vince. As large as some of the cities are, I imagine it might be a chore for a lady to visit the agency regularly. I heard somewhere that the translator sometimes calls and reads the mail to some that are without computer access. I would like to think that the letters are perfectly translated and sent to the lady, but I'm beginning to doubt the level of customer service some of these agencies provide.
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Ok, question for the "experienced" guys :D or anyone that has seen the letters they receive? So they get the letter in english? or chinese? (Pinyin or character) or both? eng/chn. Do the agency print out a photo on a sheet of paper or on photo paper? :?
I just asked one of my ladies - she speaks very good english so we chat for an hour or two every day. For her, she received the exact English copy of my letter, because she can understand it. After 7 days / 3 EMFs we moved to direct contact. I asked about ladies who do not understand English very well, and she said they will receive essentially a Chinese translation of your email. It *should* be the literal translation (or closest thing to it), but may contain some smoothing over from the translator, depending upon how far along you two are. I think I read somewhere that someone who was going to China was bringing a copy of their letters and would compare? I'm sure the amount of literal translation depends on the translator, but it should remain pretty close to the original.
As for pictures, they printed it out for her on normal paper, but I assume that could vary per agency. Her agency is P566
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Don, you have to trust your woman. It doesn't matter if she's Chinese or a Westerner. It's an act of faith. If your start getting jealous about phone calls and stuff you're going to ruin it. It's far better to be betrayed than to ruin a good relationship by starting to mistrust a good woman. It's far more likely, in my opinion that there's nothing going on, than she's brazenly seeing guys on the side. I think just take it easy: relax and be happy!
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Yea it surprised me too - she's at work right now but when she gets home and on the web cam I will ask if she can show me one of the pictures so I can verify. I'm rather curious now ;)
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Vince , to your question . Qing alway's received my letter's ( in English ) through her E-Mail box and the chinese version over the Phone from our translator in Guangzhou . She writes a reply in chinese and sends it back to her and so forth . I know , because she has all my letter's in a nice folder that she showed me on my first visit . Just like me at home had all of her's printed out and filed neatly .
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Vince , do you also read them over from the beginning , when your bored and have nothing to do , or just to look back how it all came about ? It's amazing how one little letter can start such a Life changing relationship , between two People half way around the world , when it is so hard to do it face to face here , especially when one is a shy Person . This has it's adventages over normal dating for sure .
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Ok guys. I'm a little embarrassed to post this. And I don't know if this is the correct place to put it. But I do need to know what you think. If not the right place, please move to correct one. ok here we go. As some of you know I am currently in Shenyang. Had the translator on the first day and things went relatively smooth. Today we had the electronic translator and I used Babel on Yahoo quite a bit. She seemed to understand that more than the electronic translator. But things kind of went south today. Of course we have a language problem. And don't let anyone tell you its not a problem, because it is. But you keep trying. Now here's the "what do you guys think" part. And also the embarrassing part cause I'd know what it meant in USA, but maybe things different here. She has been getting phone calls all the time. And I could swear its a guy most of the time. Now she runs a clothing store and her and translator say its the store calling. But I thought she said a girl ran it when shes gone. But some calls are later at night. And heres the part I don't get. She gets a call tonight about 8:25pm and it sure sounds like a guy. Then hangs upand says she has to go meet her elder sister. I say "you don't have any relatives in Shenyang" "Shes visiting and wants to see me" "Where are you going to stay?" "I will help get hotel for sister" "Are you sure thats your sister, sounds like a guy on the phone" calls translator and talks heatedly for a couple minutes...then translator talks with me and says she is visiting elder sister. "Uh-Huh.....oookaay!!" Then she leaves without purse, makeup bag, or nightgown. Now what in the world am I to make of this. I emailed translator and told her, I was not real happy with the story. I told Emily, (the lady in question) bring your sister by in the morning and we'll all have breakfast. She was happy to say yes and away she went.
Now here's where you guys come in "what do you think" By the way so far the agency seems to be ok. Except for charging me for the airport ride to hotel which Emilytold me was free ...translator has relayed everything pretty much correctly as far as I can tell...and pictures were not too far off. Hopefully its all just a cultural thing or misunderstanding.
Don
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Don , just relax and the 24 hour rule applies , but cut it down to 12 , most Chinese women who are in business can run rings around Westerners , their phones are rarely off , and you should go with the flow as most would not take kindly to questions being asked , they also move around their cities with great speed and their brains are always in top gear .
Anyone in business over there can expect work related calls day and night along with deliveries anytime 5 am till midnight so anything goes and it does .
If you have a query ask the translator as it would seem she is central to your visit , even though my GF spoke only 1 word of English after 24 hours we both preferred to use our electronic translator which was a Besta with a stylus pen so she could write Characters and the machine converted to English and English was converted back for her sentence by sentence , so keep cool and have a great time , regards Robert .
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Don, relax. Even a lady can have guy friends / male cousins etc ... At this point, it really doesn't matter. You're there, enjoy her company !!! After all your communications, you have to trust her. As a businesswoman, she probably deals with many male associates / suppliers, etc ...
Enjoy your time in Shenyang. I was there last Nov. Take her ( and her sister ) to either one of these restaurants for lunch ... Majia Shaomai Guan or San Sheng Yuan Dumplings Restaurant
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Thanks guys, I'll calm down a bit. Maybe I'm just a bit paronoid. Or however you spell it. :geek:
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Don, you have to remember the culture different. In my believes the girls in China don't just screw with some guy. They aren't as "free" as we are in the west. Because of the "fredom" the girls have in the western world, we guys are to suspicious, I think.
She is probably just a busy girl with a lot of "irons in the fire". The language barrier demands a lot of trust. I have experienced a lot of this ups and downs myself. Mostly because of a lack of trust. But in my case it seems to be to much "western" thinking and mistrust.
Read my blog and you will see you are not the only one fighting those problems. Hang in there, Don.
My blog: http://thebesteverhappenedtome.blogspot.com/
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I have to agree with Robert/Chong/Hajo , if it's Business , she will act as she needs to do . If it's a Family thing , you are not yet included into those kind of matter's , until your married to her . So do relax , give her some space . Think if she was with you in your Country , by herself , and you would be getting phone calls all the time , from Women or Men , it doesn't matter , her knwing the western way's , would it not make it even worse for her , being in that kind situation ?
I am sure , she will explain it all to you , when the time is good . Don , and more important , it will make you look better in her Eyes , to be so understanding .
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Don you are under the 24 hour rule.What the other members are telling you is probably what is happining.Just ride it out see where it is going to go.
This is not the Spanish inquisition.Give her some space.And keep her face intact.You take that womens face.ANd there isn't much hope for the relationship this early in the game.
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Josh, if it would be me, I probably wouldn't discuss such issue yet of different reasons. I don't know when you are planning to get those kids, but it won't be before two or three years, right? And then the kids need to have a certain age to go to her parents. What is the timeframe we are looking at? 5 to 6 years or more?
Xule has probably not thought about how far your kids will be away from her. It's easy to say for her now as it isn't that far to her parents. And from my experience, mothers don't like to be apart from their kids for too long. Another issue is how old will her parents be then?
As I said I would probably say "we will see" and don't about more. But that's me. Different people, different dealing.
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Josh I have first hand experience with this.It is just a Chinese thing.My motherinlaw and fatherinlaw told my wife the same thing.That we needed to leave my son in China.When I said no that was the end of the discusion.ANd they wern't madd at me.
My wife and her little sister stayed with there grandparents for a couple of years when they were growing up.And my brotherinlaws daughter lived with my motherinlaw and fatherinlaw for about 6 years off and on.It was so him and his wife could both work.and wouldn't have to worry about the kid.
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Well , Qing and I went through the same thing with her Parent's , about her little Boy . He is seven and just started School . They want him to learn Chinese and find it better to do it in Shanghai than here in America . We both agreed to this for the time being , because I myself want to see first , if Qing is going to like it here . If she does , then we can see how to proceed about bringing him over after a couple of year's . He will be in good Hands , by the way , I most likely will move over there anyway , after retireing in about 10 year's . So we will see how to play it best for all of us .
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Well this will be the first time i wont see my lady twice a day since we started msn. She is going to beijing to hangout with some of her friends. Ill be sad :cry: For about a week than i will be super happy to see her again.
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Josh, if it would be me, I probably wouldn't discuss such issue yet of different reasons. I don't know when you are planning to get those kids, but it won't be before two or three years, right? And then the kids need to have a certain age to go to her parents. What is the timeframe we are looking at? 5 to 6 years or more?
She actually wants to start a family soon after we are married. We ave not dicussed this in depth. I myself would like to be married for a year or so. I know she wants a family early and I will not deprive her of this, plus im not getting any younger or and either is my father. I would like him to be around to see his grand kids. Im not really sure how long she wants to have them over there. If its a couple months at a time I can deal.
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Hey see I am also worried about the adjustment for xule to a new culture and dealing with the changes and having children all at the same time. Seams to me to be a lot to swallow at the same time. I can understand them living there to learn the language and the culture. I am not going to be closed minded and say no final decision. But I will not miss my kids first step, words, bf,gf, you know all the firsts. You bring up a good point arnold, i wont be retiring for many years so i would have to find work in china. But living there maybe an option. I know she expressed that it would be free time for us, I am guessing she means like a western dating time to get to know each other. I know this will be brought up at the meeting with her family. I cant wait to get grilled.
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...Josh, :o
..It is a Chinese thing, my chinese sister, and I have talked this subject to death and back, It seems it is a way for the Grandparents to teach the grandkids, and it has been going on for generations....As the Chinese feel the Grandparents, are more qualified to teach the children than the parents, because they have more life experience, in rasing children because they have already done just that.....I understand it also has a lot to do with the family first, part of the Chinese Culture, in that the grandparents help to raise the grandchildren, to teach them manners, culture, and the ethics, if you will, of being Chinese, or part Chinese.....And in trun when the grandparents, get to the age that they cannot live alone, they will move in with you and your wife, and you will take care of them.....A lot of the Mothers of the husband, move in with the new parents when the wife becomes pregant,to help with the running of the house and to take care of the grandbaby, sometimes for as much as 2 to 3 years after the baby is born.....And after that the child is usually watched by the granparents while the parents work.....According to Sissy, there is no daycare, it is the family, and when the child starts school, if the parents work the grandparents, take the kid to school and pick the child up after school, and many times the child lives with the grandparents most of the time.....And in Chinese Culture, you will get to more, or less, help raise your Grandchildren, while your children, work on their careers, and setting up their family home.....
..LIFE IS LEARNING, and to not be open to the new Culture, you have chosen to be a part of your life, is to close the door on a culture that has made the woman you love, who she is today.....
..Good luck, and best wishes, with this topic when you have the family meetings....
..RC
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Ses I am not the type of guy who is a fraid of something new. Since you put it the way you did RC i look a little selfish. I am very open to the chinese culture, and your right it shaped the woman i love. With all your guys help I think I have enough information on this subject to make an informed decision.
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R C , you could not have said it any better . That is exactly the way I saw it , been part of that already . It's like you described Qing's Parent's , thinking how to raise their Grandson , to the teeth . This is a MUST know for everybody .
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Guys,
I need an opinion. The lady I am communicating with & I are feeling closer to each other. Here is her last letter. Is this real or is this purely agency. I'm feeling a tad paranoid based upon what I read here. She is not moving fast at all, I want to make sure this isn't an agency game.
-----LETTER FOLLOWS------
I am so glad to receive you nice letter. Thanks for your compliments, your sweet words warm my heart deeply.
Yes, we have so many things in common. And we do agree on so many things, I hope this is a good star for us and I hope everything will work out for both of us and hope our good relationship will keep to last.
Yes, compassion and patience also make that foundation stronger. And talking also is very important thing in a relationship. Do you agree?
Thanks for your understanding, how nice you are!
I always think I am the luckiest girl in the world and I thankful the site let us meet and I thankful my agency and translator let us know each other better. Well, I would like to introduce them to you one day when we meet each other. Dear, I really cherish you very much. I sincerely wish you are the right one I am looking for.
You have a nice personality. From you letter I can see, you are very funny and you letter always make me laugh, I am a happy girl and l like to make others happy too.
Yes, after reading your personal information. I feel closer to you. Thanks for sharing more bout your information with me and letting me know you more.
Woowooo.. You are very ambitions and doing your work very well. I am proud of you.
The picture of the view from your office window. It is very nice, that the Ocean or sea? I like it very much. (*^__^*)
Why I am seeking for my love and marriage from another country?
As for me, I want to have a different life in the future, and I think foreigner are more romantic and funny, most Chinese men are getting older and they won't do a lot of things with their life partners, then very boring they would repeat the same things nearly day by day. I don't like that!! And I like the foreigner kids are very lovely and clever.
May I ask, why you choose a Chinese lady to be your life partner? Don't you find a foreign?
Yes, I feel comfortable talk with you and when I sharing my pain with you I never feel sad and I don't have any pressure. Do you know the divorce family background in China is not good, so I have never told others before.
Have a good time and hope to hear from you soon.
Best wishes to you and take care !
Sincerely yours
-----END LETTER-----
thoughts?
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Hellerjk, you could perceive that as moving slow or as cautious so she will not get hurt. It does sound like some it maybe coaching yet she describes a personal picture you sent {very important and not a ploy} The beginning of the letter was quite dry and almost seemed impersonal yet the second half showed to me she wants to really get to know you. Give her some breathing room and if concerns arise talk to the translator and or ask more specific things to determine exactly what her feelings may be towards you. In my cynical eyes would say this one is for real. Different culture different mindest, you're not in Kansas anymore. This thing of ours is complicated to say the very least. If you feel she could be the one, sweep her off her feet. They don't expect much more than a little love, security and a sense of well being. I'de say you got a keeper.
China Shark Mike
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what the heck.. I set my mind to leave
and get this as a first letter wanting my number LOL
Hello Shane,
Could I say your name , because I like your name very much. My name is Linda, I hope you will like my name also. Do you belive friendship can be built up from the internet? I Believe that. I am very cherish to catch the chance to write you a letter.
Do you know that when I saw the photo of you, your looking whatever your eyes, your hairs or your nose have caught my sight, I cant help to look at you, my sight only full of you, you turn me on at all....hehe
When I have spare time, I prefer to sing the song and go to shopping with my best friends, if you have time, would you join with me?...haha :-))
Could you tell me more about yourself, such as your life style,your hobbie and so on. There is one thing I want to know that what kind of lady do you like? Because I want to know that am I your goddness.
I want to tell you that it is very hard to write a letter to you,do you know why? Maybe is the destiny connect us together ,to have a chance know each other !
I hope I can find a right man who is full of passion, all of love around me by his considerately, and also give the sense of security, make me feel that If I have you, you won't feel regret to choose me .
Will you do my Mr.Right?
I WANT TO LISTEN YOUR VOICE, WILL YOU GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER??
I hope you will reply my letter very soonnnnnnnnn.
Yours Sincerely
only down fall is the agency is hand in hand oh well guess i wont miss sleep over skipping her
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Seems real. The only thing in question is the center section. It starts with "Thanks for your understanding" and the following two sentences. Other then that?
She is answering my email line by line so if you had seen my letter it would have made sense. :)
The following two sentences :
"I always think I am the luckiest girl in the world and I thankful the site let us meet and I thankful my agency and translator let us know each other better. Well, I would like to introduce them to you one day when we meet each other. Dear, I really cherish you very much. I sincerely wish you are the right one I am looking for. "
were in response to my request to know the name(s) of the translators helping and a reflection that it would be nice to know this as they are helping us translate from very personal thoughts.
I believe the response given here was likely influenced by the translator which is why I wanted an opinion on the letter as a whole
some ideas .....
It could be her, with a lot of help and guidance from the translator and/or the agency ....
she did ask you some questions ... so answer her honestly, and then
ask her some questions that require thought, so they cannot just copy and paste in general answers....
or
tell her something real, and detailed about you, and ask her what do you think ??
like .... I have a hobby called and I go to events every month, and we and ......
and see how she reacts .... if the reply does not match .... then it is not her
it can be hard to cut thru this, but you have to try, and at some point cut your losses if it is not working
Mike
Most of our letter actually talk about exactly what you outline and the answers are very direct and reflect what we are both saying. The letters always address what I write. Actually quite perfectly. Now either the agency is really good or she is real. I really hope it is the later because she seems really terrific. She shares personal information (up to a point) but I realize that point is what she is comfortable sharing. I never ever push.
Shane,
The pessimist in me thinks the agency knows about you & is making a last ditch effort to get more money from you. The request could be from someone from the agency to string you along. The message seems out of character for a Chinese woman
Ok... more reality check. I always get a response from my lady & the agency within or less than 24 hours. Very impressive. I have asked in my last letter (this morning) the following"
"How does the translation service work? Do you receive an email with a translated message from me & in return you email your translator who sends me your message in English? OR do you go to the agency to pick up or send a message where you sit with the translator? Do you or your translator have a webcam? I so very much would like to hear your voice & see you when we communicate. I know the translator will need to be present and this is fine. Would it be possible to arrange this?"
Her email to me (received late last night) was:
---START LETTER---
Dear Justin,
Thanks for you send the websites to me. I have seen many Coins there. (*^__^*)
I am sorry, I can't opened the first website that you send to me about the Hudson River. I don't know why.
I am so glad to hear that you enjoyed my answer. I am also enjoyed your answering. Thanks for you believe Chinese woman.
In my opine, Chinese woman are very traditional with tender, considerate, thoughtful, virtuous and home-oriented. So you made the right choice to look for you life partner. Heheee.
I do not live with my family and I moved another city several years ago, I live with my best friends, she always helps me when I am in trouble, and she seems to be my relative. In fact, I just want to go out for my dream. Sometimes I really feel lonely, I do miss my family, so I will go to visit them when I have holidays, they love to see me and miss me very much!!!
From my house to my company is not so far maybe 15 minutes on foot. I walk to work.
Yes, I live near the Museum maybe two hours by bus. I hope when you visit here I would show Museum to you one day.
My favorite type of food is seafood, do you like seafood? My favorite musician is Kelly Chen. She is very famous in China and l like her songs very much. My favorite movie is Korean romantic movies. Have you ever watched Korean movies?
As for me, I am serious about love and I do not like playing games. I do not have any boyfriend before.
Well, I think the romantic thing is very simple, when I feel lonely he could give me a warm shoulder, when I am in bad mood, I hope he could comfort me, of course I will do it in return. I do not think a bouquet of roses and chocolate that is romantic and I do not think a romantic thing need to waste of money to complete. I just hope we can share happiness and sorrows with, as long as enjoy our life, that also is very romantic things. Don't you think so?
Have a good time and hope to hear from you soon. (xie xie ni de lai xin, wo zai ze li deng ni de lai xin)
Best wishes to you and take care!
Sincerely yours,
---END LETTER---
What do we think? Seems real right? She ends all letters with "Best wishes to you and take care! Sincerely yours, "
I feel like she is someone I could fall for (slowly of course)... I just don't want to be burned. I really appreciate everyone's views
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I got a weird letter from a different lady I had written to. She is not "my lady" but a different girl I met at the same time. Her last letter to me 2 weeks ago was weird and was sent when I formed my interest in "my lady"
Anyway, I didn't respond to this other girl because there was no need to. :) Well she just sent me the following. I am tempted to ask Chnlove to refund the various credits associated with the EMFs from this person. The letter is as follows.
"Hello Justin,
Did you receive my last letter. It is ten days without receiving your respond. I want to know how you are!!! Dear, I miss you so much! How about you?
Every day, I tell myself, tomorrow, my dear Justin will send letter to me. But I wait and wait. Nothing happens. I can't help myself and write to you.
I want to tell you one thing, baby. In the afternoon, one of my roommate bought some waxberryies to the office. After washing them, she was going to eat them. The other roommate said ¡®It is said that there are many worms in waxberries. If you put them into salt water, the worms will go out.' ¡®Really?' she said, ¡®I have never heard about it!!!! I will try it!'.
So, we began to prepare the salt water. Just one minute's later, there are some white worms out in the water, which are very small.
¡®Oh, my God, it is real. There are so many worms in the waxberries.' This is my feeling after seeing this result, I will never eat any waxberry from new on. Baby, you are the same. Please don't eat it after I told you, OK? After all, health is the most important!!!
Take care and have a good day!
Waiting for your respond!"
Should I ask for a refund?
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I dont think i would. just block her and move on.
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Haha .. I would have pay'd a Credit for that information on Waxberries . Like Ed suggested , just move on with the one " your Lady " , unless you like to have some " Sister's " too .:icon_cheesygrin:
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Here's the admire letter my wife sent to me. I thought it might give you a sense of how we began and how, what I felt was, a very sincere letter goes.
###########
Hello, dear Ed
First, I want to say hello and send my smile to you. It's nice to read your profile and got to know you. I am very interested in you. I want to know you better, so here is my mail.
I am from China and looking for my Mr. Right here, not sure if you have met your dream girl or not. But if no, I hope we can get a chance to communicate and know more about each other, I believe in destiny and I think maybe my special one is here waiting for me, and who knows who he is, so let's keep in touch and see what happens in the future, maybe the man is you!
I have two children. They all live with their father after I get divorced. I am single now. I like music and movies very much. When I am free, I like traveling, doing some housework and shopping. I also like to share my time with my friends. What do you like to do when you are free?
I am easy going. I am very honest and loyal. I am looking for the right man in my life. I want to share my life with him. I am a romantic woman. I would like to share the most romantic moment in my life with the man I love. Are you the right man?
After I divorced, I am being single. I feel lonely especially when I'm free, so after so many years, I really want to find a friend, a lover and a soul mate. I do hope that he can take care of me, protect me and love me, and I would like to do the same for him, we can share the happiness and sadness in our lives together. Maybe you are the lucky man!
I am really very interested in what you have written. I think we share some same interests. I am serious. I am looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I am not playing games here. I don't want to waste time too. I would like to be your friend first. What about you?
I just want to find the man I love, and get together with him. No matter where he is, no matter whether he is rich. I believe there's someone waiting for me, I'm a romantic woman, but I don't breach realism. I think people should have the nice desire of their own.
I attach a photo in this letter. Do you like it? I am very sincere, and if you want to know me, please write to me.
Look forward to your reply. Thanks.
Sincerely, Anne
############
As you can see, it's not overly flattering but simple and genuine. No empty promises but only a chance to openly get to know each other and see what could happen. Any wonder why her words caught my eye? well, not to mention her stunning photo. hehe.
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Wow Ed , that is some wonderful Admire letter . No wonder you fell for this Woman . If all were writen like this , how could anybody have a second thought about not being real . But I'm sure this letter didn't come without your Sincere and Honest inspiration to such a reply .
Thanks for sharing ... lovely . I also can imagine the lovely Photo send by Anne , no need to see it . I'm sure it's as beautiful as her letter .
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Yes Ed, wonderfull letter. And from your blog site I see her beauty in your posted pictures match the sincerity in her letters.
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I wish I could convey how truley accurate her admire letter really was. She's all that and thousands of times more. I think her reservation to be friends first is what was the trick. I felt she wasn't sending a hook but only baiting me with a reasonable chance to know her better.
Like Arnold said, if all would approach it like this, and I mean western men as well as chinese ladies, I feel there would be marriages all over the place.
It's a guess but I feel that many of these ladies are, of course, ignorant to dating a western man and have no idea how to approach it and instead of the translator letting her speak from the heart, instill their own version of an introduction statement and, although well intending, make it far too over-the-top; if you get my meaning.
Here's a thought. no idea where to go with it but I'll pitch it and see if someone has some good idea what to do with it, but why not provide a guideline for translators to follow so they don't get so carried away.?
[had to edit my own post but I think i'll contact my translator and discuss this with her. She did great with us, why not share her ability to show a lady for who she really is?]