China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: Brian Mc on September 14, 2009, 01:27:11 pm
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Greetings brothers,
First I want to apologize for not keeping my other thread, Brian's trip to China updated, but I have had a horrible time getting to this site.
HoweverI have found it now so let the updates begin.
The flight.
Well everything started out ok, I left Edmonton Ab Canada as scheduled and arrived in calgary on time. This is where things got messed up. I had an hour and a half to clear US customs, find my gate and get checked in. I made it to the gate with barely ten minutes before flight time, customs was so slow. No sooner did I get to teh gate than the flight was delayed an hour due to fog in San Fransisco.
This of course got me to worrying about connecting to my Beijing flight. However I did make t to the beijing flight gate with about 15 mins to spare and everything as good. They served Duck for the first meal and seafood and noodles for the second and all the movies sucked hehe.
I was also seated across the aisle from a 2 yr old and family but surprisingy the child was very quiet the whole 12 hour flight. And for those wondering the child was chinese.
Anyway made it to beijing on time, passed the health checks no problem and made it to the baggage claim. Problem however was My suitcase decided to go on a vacation of its own and did not make it to beijing at the same time I did. So here I am in Beijing with only the clothes I was wearing.
So anyway out the gate I went and there were masses of chinese waiting for people coming out of the customs and gates area. I spotted Zhen instantly and we made our way to each other. For those wondering yes she is far more beautiful then her pictures or webcams led me to believe. We basically flew into each others arms and had a nice long hug.
Zhen had a translator from the agency with her, a very cute young lady named Zie Her english was good and we all hit it off very well.
So off to the bus to the hotel area. Zhen and I shared two seats together and she took my ball cap and wore it herself grabbed my arm and held it to her and rested her head on my shoulder. Oh and it was pouing rain and we had no coats only umbrellas. Zhen phoned the hotel to tell them we were on our way but they said we could not get in as the securty had the whole area around Tian an men Square closed off including the hotel.
We took the bus as far as we could and Zhen called the hotel and they said they would send a car for us but somehow it never worked out. So here we are on busy Beijing street in the pouring rain trying to get a cab with hundreds of other people.
For those who have never experienced this its a free for all, doesnt matter who stopped the cab, first one in gets the cab. we finally had to get two motorized pedicabs to take us to a different hotel for teh night.
If this had been anywhere in the west I would have been tick off but in Beijing I actually had a good time hehe. My lady Zhen madde sure I was under the umbrela all the time so I wouldnt get wet. We were holding hands/ams the entire tme, with lots of affection but no kissing yet.
Anyway we finally made it to a hotel but they were not licenced for foreigners so we had to find another one. I am still having a great time but Zhen was getting a little ticked. Anyway we finally got to an acceptable hotel, so all was good.
Just a thought here for anyone else going to china, I sent Zhen $500Cdn dollars by western union a couple days before my flight which was quite a good break as she had sufficient cash to cover things for the first couple days while we got settled. I would reommend this to anyone who is serous about their lady when they go to visit. No hassles trying to find cash machines or exchanging money at the arport.
Also I used my mastercard for the hotels and had no issues in Beijing just remember to call your bank before you leave home to tell them about your trip so they dont block your card.
Day 1 Beijing.
We finally made it to the Days Inn Forbidden City which was the hotel Jimb recommended. I also would recommend this hotel for anyone spending time in Beijing. Its clean affordable and the staff are very friendly and helpfull. There is also a decent place to get a breakfast buffet just across from the hotel driveway and a bank right beside it where I exchanged money and used the atm with no problems. The breakfast buffet was a good mix of western and chinese and quite reasonable. Also right across from the hotel front door is a little chinese family restuarant where we ate supper every night we were in beijing. For those of us who cannot use chopsticks they provide forks and knives. Lots of foreigners stay at the Days Inn so they didnt even notice you when you go to the restaurant.
So we made it to the hotel got squared away did the bank thing and were all set to go.
First thing on the agenda was getting an electronic translator. The one Zhen settled on cost 1998yuan I think it was, does the translations back and forward, also speaks the words, and has the OCR software. Besta 9880 I think it is. Zhen liked it so that was the one we bought. No discounts however, the store said many of the business in the area, all higher class ones did not do discounts so we ended up paying sticker price. They also told us that for electronic stuff you rarely get a discount.
After we picked up the translator we did some shopping and the Zhen took me to the famous Peking duck restaurant in Beijing for my birthday. A great time we had too with me trying to learn how to work chopsticks with Zhen's help, we had quite a few laughs. She is a very beautiful wonderful loving lady and our translator was lots of fun also.
That evening we walked from the hotel to Tian An Men Square and area but they had most of it closed of. Apparrently there was some ceremony being set up so they wouldnt let us in. Also across the street from the Square are several other tourist sites in another square, but these are only open from 8 am untl noon so anyone wishing to go inside should go in the morning. I did take a quite a few pictures and will upload the when I get back to canada as I dont have the software for my camera with me in China.
So far everything is going well we hold hands every where we go and lots of affection but still no kiss at this time, however I have no complaints. Its pretty clear that everything we said we felt for each other in our letters to each other has translated to real life exactly as we wrote them. It is clear to our translator that we are very happy together.
So I have to say that for those of us who are born romantics and meet a lady who is at least as romantic as we are its not all bad news when we meet. Our face to face time has basically been an extension and affirmation of our letters, and it would be impossible for things to go any better than they have already between Zhen and I.
Also as far as language goes I speak very littel mandarin and Zhen about the same for english. However quite earlyy we noticed that we can get our point across to each other with fair ease just with body language, tone and ou few words. Of course we still have Zie the translator and the electronic one as well.
So for summary, the flight was a bit of a stress attack and also my still missing suitcase, but teh face to face with Zhen could not possibly be going any better than it is and we are bothe very happy. Everything looks great so far and the promise fulfilled to this point.
to be continued.....
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Wow Brian what a story...Sorry to hear about the case, so with thanks to you and Mike, I will pack a change of clothes into my hand held luggage - just in case hehe.
I am so pleased that things so far has turned out well... I too have sent my Keren money for us for when I get there, this is a good idea, but only do it, IF you think the person can be trusted...
I was glad also to hear that even with not understanding the languages between you, then BODY LANGUAGE will come into play..
Good luck with the rest of your time mate.:icon_biggrin:
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Hey Brain , thanks for the Story of a good first meeting and hope your Suitcase didn't decide to go back to Canada .
Hope to read about your continueing Trip , while I'm in China myself .
About the Tiananmen Square thing , that could be because of the up-coming Oct. 1st National Holiday ?
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Brian,
Ya bugger, where the bloody hell have you been?? ...JimB actually went to your hotel to try and find you, ...said they Never heard of you!!! haha!!
Well i'm pleased to hear that the romantics have pulled one back in the success stakes, ...alas yet, without the goldfish kisses to date!!...haha!! I hope you keep in touch now. I would try and contact JimB, and make that meeting you arranged with him and his wife. ...Reckon you should foot the bill too!! ...hahaha!!
Best of luck for the remainder of your trip Brian, ...it's good to hear when things go right on these first meeting trips.
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By the way, while you have the translator there with you, get her to contact the airport and enquire about your lost suitcase.
Sometimes they need to be badgered, to get things moving in finding and getting your suitcase reunited with you. And they should send it directly to your hotel too!!
David.....
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I think we have found both the missing persons now - first Ted now Brian.
It sounds as if you are going to have a great time. All those worries before you went. There all gone now. SAD really - all you guys finding love on your first trip. You are never gonna know what is is like to ride the roundabout!!!!
Seriously Brian keep us posted. Get bored up your way then you can always come south and join us in this TYPHOON.
But I imagine from the reaction you received then you will have other things on your mind.
Willy
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That lost suitcase seems to be happening more and more as the prices for everything goes UP the quality of their work goes the other way . It even happen's here on domestic flight's , as some of my friend's state that to be the case . Now , need to worry about that too .
David your right , that Case should be delivered wherever your at ( Hotel ) on any given day . I would raise hell and up-grade my return flight for the trouble , as they owe you .
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Willy I think he has a TYPHOON of his own to start up...lol:angel:
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Willy I think he has a TYPHOON of his own to start up...lol:angel:
I think it is just clearing the air for your arrival in a couple of months.
3.30am and cannot sleep through it AND no company tonight.!!!
Willy
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I only have one thing to say to our two lost souls, if you two ever put use through this again then the two of you should get one swift, hard kick in the seat of the pants, now that being said, good to hear the two of you are doing well, Brian, happy to see it working out for you bro, just keep up the good work, you and Ted are doing just great.
Now hurry up and post some more, that first one was really good :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy, stop the wineing, you can't have all the women all the time, save some for the new guys.
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Nice beginning of lovestory, too bad for the suitcase but maybe did it find, too, its halflove anywhere? (lol)
By the way, I'm really happy to read your story, Brian, I just wish to you and Zhen to go on like this, and if there is no kiss at the moment, the best thing to remember is that you really feel happy when being with each other, hand in hand :)
So... let the time go its way, and it will come naturally to both of you ;)
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Greetings Brothers,
First many thanks for the kind words, much appreciated. As for Jimb at the hotel I asked them everyda if there were any messages and they always said no. Guess that language thing can be a problem for stuff like that also.
Ok on to the boring stuff.
Day two Beijing,
Oh just before we start, while we were eating my birthday meal Zhen and the translator gave me the third degree about why I was looking for a chinese wife, could I support her and her son and the whole nine yards. It was a real interesting conversation to have in a crowded resturant let me tell you. However, they must have been happy with all the responses because things have only gotten better since then. Anyway back to the tale.
Today we are off to the forbidden city. This is off course a must see when in beijing, and yes I took pictures, I even managed to get some of the scenery in the pictures lol. We still have Zie the translator with us so communicating is easy although we seem to manage quite well without her help. Zhen is very affectionate holding hands or pulling my arm across in front of her and holding it with both her hands. She is so beautiful, and funny and loving and beautiful and.... erm sorry.
Anyway we took in most of the sights at the forbidden city, had a great time and also more of the questions abot my view of our future together. We both have the same desire and seems we agree on pretty much everything. the translator is very good and almost seems invisible. Zhen and I seem to communicate very well even without words, its as if we have known each other for years.
The forbidden city was a lot of fun but it seems every time we go to do a tourist thing its sweltering hot sunny, no breeze and no shade. So a tip for others... take sunscreen and a wide brimmed hat with you and drink tons of water, you will need it.
Supper once again at the little restaurant just ouside the door from the hotel. Its not much to look at and its hard to get used to men smoking while you are trying to eat but this happens everywhere so you just have to get used to it. The fod in the restaurant is very good and as others have said Zhen orders a balanced meal and serves me everything. While we are eating we agree that theZie will leave us in the morning and we will be on or own.
Just for those wondering Zhen and the translator share a room and I have my own. So tonight Zhen and I spend time alone together in my room playing with the electronic translator and getting used to it before Zie leaves us in the morning.
Also finally the long awaiting moment......... the first kiss!! and the second third fourth.... well you get the idea. Once again everything perfect and we have now really warmed up as a couple. At this point I could not ask for anything more.
Day three Beijing
today we are off to the Summer Palace. Another must see sight but a long drive to get there. There is so much walking to do at this place make sure you are wearing cmfortable shoes. We are alone now with only the electronic translator for help.
Just a few words about the translator. First you mush keep the sentences short and very simple. complex thought or long sentences get lost very quickly. Also it has trouble with gender and everyone becomes it instead of he or she. So you have to learn how to interpret what you think your lady is trying to say and vice versa.
So the whole day spent wandering around in the summer palace and we are getting along great. We barely touched the electronic translator at all teh entire day. We seem to be developing what the married guys refer to as ou own language. Part verbal part body language and looks and part intuition. I think this gets better teh more in love you are because for us it seems to come pretty naturally and easy. We only resort to the translator for complex subjects, all the day to day stuff we dont need it. Zhens english is getting better and so is my chnese but not as fast as er english. She is working really hard.
We have settled into a routine in the evenings whereby after supper we go for a walk up to tian An Men Square and wander around. I point something out in english and she gives it to me in chinese. We do this the entire walk and often go back and mix up teh words to see how much we remember. we joke between us about in one ear and out teh other and both laugh. Also after teh walk and before seperating to our own rooms for sleep we stop in the coffee shop and sit there for an hour going ver pronunciation and a recap of teh words we learned that evening.
Biggest tip here guys is be patient both ways. Never get frustrated or lose your cool. Just work through every word slowly and repeatedly saying them many many times over. If you get frustrated your lady will see it in your face and that will end your lesson. She must be confident you have patience to help her work to learn english because they have infinite patience when teaching you chinese.
So far Zhen is at least as romantic and affectionate as I am. We are always holding hands hen we walk about always touching when sitting stil. She is a true beauty both inner beauty and outer beauty. I am so lucky to have her.
So back to my room after coffee and more electronic translator work. We are talking about many things and somehow the fact that I havent prposed to her came up. Well of course I instantly dropped to my kness and asked my Zhen to marry me, and she said......
Oops sorry guys my Zhen is herre to take me to breakfast, so i will be back later.
Brian
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You cant leave us hanging like that!!
Brian i am loving your story so far, did you get your clothes yet?
I hope she said yes!!
Eagerly waiting on your next update :D
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Brian, fantastic read, the suspense,,she said `Yes`right?,,please say yes.:icon_biggrin: WOW, I am so happy for the both of you. Sounds like you are having a really good time in China, remember before you left, I mentioned to you "it would be a trip of a lifetime"! :icon_cheesygrin:
Actually, you do not necessarily need your cameras software to extract the pictures from it onto your laptop, first question, you camera has a memory card correct? (digital camera) second question, does your laptop have a slot for the memory card?,,most newer laptops do. Simply put the memory card in the slot, your computer will automatically detect it, then open the file to view your pictures, if your laptop does not have a slot, then did you bring the patch cable that came with your camera, to hook-up the camera to the laptop USB port? this is another way you can access the pictures, simply click on "my computer" on the desk top and pick the card/camera. Well, this is up you, I understand that you may not be thinking of pictures at the moment. (wink,wink) LOL.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
I am curious,,did you fly with Air Canada? :s On my second trip I flew with them, and they lost my luggage, finally got them 4 days later and after many calls trying to track it down. They never did give me my $100 they promised for the inconvenience, terrible airline, I also had many other problems with them, I personally will never use them again. Well, I do not want to bore you anymore with that.
Again, have a great time in China, best wishes for you and Zhen, thanks for keeping us updated, Congradulations :icon_biggrin:
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If this had been anywhere in the west I would have been tick off but in Beijing I actually had a good time hehe.
I always enjoy reading how someone gets a lemmon and makes lemmon-aid....
Great to hear all has gone well so far. Looking forward to your updates as you can post em.
Well of course I instantly dropped to my kness and asked my Zhen to marry me, and she said......
Ooohhhhh! your gonna pay for that one!!!
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Congrats Brian...Hope you two will be forever happy.........I say this in anticipation to Zhen's answer, which of course will be YES...But Ed is right, you will pay for that !!!
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Sounds like this will have a happy ending, or should I say a beautiful start! Congratulations!
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Brian, Congrats on a wonderfull trip and having a wonderfull lady in Zhen, but I gotta tell you, you'te getting real close to that kick in the seat of your pants, not fair making us wait for her answer. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Well the percentage is definitely on the up , having waited for hours [ must be a long breakfast ] , I along with Ying offer my congratulations , Me thinks we should have another calender of wedding / red book and celebration dates so that brothers can refer to it and maybe bend their travel plans to suit as we increase our numbers on this site , regards Robert .
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Robert, If you mean a list of dates they were married I can put their dates in against their names at "Who's your mate?" If your referring to celebrating the day they get married? As we've seen most don't know the date until they find out it's time to go down there. :icon_biggrin:
Me thinks we should have another calender of wedding / red book and celebration dates so that brothers can refer to it and maybe bend their travel plans to suit as we increase our numbers on this site.
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Vince,
Yeah, and never truer words have been spoken. ...haha!!
And, ..... they better get used to being the last to know whats going on too, This it seems, is one trait that is common to all Chinese ladies. It took me a hell of a long time, to get her to tell me about the things she had planned for me, herself, or for us!! So in the main, i now know what's happening and when it's happening in good time, .....Not the 45 to 60 minutes before it's happening as it was before!!!!!
David.....
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Well, I sure as heck do not know what happened at the hotel. Of course I did not leave a message as they told me they never heard of Brian. But without your last name... anyway. I am glad everything is going well. if you are still in Beijing call me. 15810501936, that is Gina's phone number. have Zhen call her and we can still meet up if you want to. Where did she take you for Peking Duck? i have the best restaurant for it in Peking. Far and away the best meal i have eaten here. You just cant beat it. for 4 people about $80.00 US. A bit pricey for here but well worth it. Did she teach you how to properly eat it? There is an art to that.
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Well, I sure as heck do not know what happened at the hotel. Of course I did not leave a message as they told me they never heard of Brian. But without your last name... anyway. I am glad everything is going well. if you are still in Beijing call me. 15810501936, that is Gina's phone number. have Zhen call her and we can still meet up if you want to. Where did she take you for Peking Duck? i have the best restaurant for it in Peking. Far and away the best meal i have eaten here. You just cant beat it. for 4 people about $80.00 US. A bit pricey for here but well worth it. Did she teach you how to properly eat it? There is an art to that.
Hiya Guys,
Sorry Jim we are now in Handan and i have only three days left till i have to leave Zhen. Oh man that is gonna be a painful parting let me tell you. As for the duck I am not sure which restaurant it is but it has a big plaque inside saying its the original peking duck restaurant and yes it was a tad pricey but worth it for sure.
as for how to eat the duck we did it as follows. Take a very thin wrap, coat some sauce on it and add the duck and some long thin green/white veggie, then fold it up like a wrap and eat it like that. It as a great meal.
anyway ttime for another update, since I see some of teh guys are a little upset about Zhen taking me to breakfast heheheh.
Brian
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The green-white veggies are sliced leeks! Delicious, I'm craving for Peking duck now ...
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And every piece of Duck must have a bit of skin on it. The duck hearts are also excellent.
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Greetings brothers,
Time for another update.
So anyway there i was dropped on my knees Zhen is sitting on the bed with this really serious look on her face and I asked her in English to marry me. Now keep in mind that her english is not that good, in fact its terrible so i am not sure if she understood. The electronic translator is on the bed behind here and neither one of us thought to use it. Oh and yes I am stalling lol sorry. SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there we are the evening of day three, first day without a live translator and she said yes. i am now engaged to marry the most beautiful loving wonderful caring petite beautiful erm sorry woman in the world.
needless to say that was the best night of my life. Oh and no there was no bed sharing involved. She is a traditional virtuous chinese lady and I love that about her, so nothing expected no dissapointment right?
however we have certainly pushed the limits of that wonderful virtue more than a bit, and thats all I am gonna say about it.
Ok so next day its off to find an engagement ring, and let me tell you that is an experience and a half, shopping for high priced items in china. They treated us like royalty. They brought us chairs, cold drinks, several ladies waiting on us and the store manager supervising. It truly was a magnificent experience. It took us about an hour to settle on a little diamond in white gold setting with a price tag of just over 115k rmb.
Yes thats 115000 rmb. Bloody expensive trinket let me say. However first of course i am just kidding its not a tinket, and second yes that really was the sticker price.
So of course the price negotiations kicked in and it turns out I am fairly good at the chinese passion for haggling. End result the ring cost me just under $1900 cdn. my lady Zhen really puts the diamond to shame but it looks so beautiful on her finger and we love each other so much so who cares about the cost. Oh and just to be clear I did not haggle the price down from $19000 to $1900, seems we hit the store on the right day as they were havng a huge sale so we lucked in pretty good.
Soory guys Zhen and I tease each other a lot and I guess it carried over here hehe.
Anyway sight seeing wise I think we did the forbidden temple that day, its funny but i have completely lost all track of time and day since I arrived here. Anyway it was some type of chinese scenery with lots of pictures of Zhen and some scenery ones too.
After supper in teh same little restaurant we went for our walk and language lesson about Tian An Men Square and had a good time as always. Seems we both manage to hang on to words for a few hours then they vanish like smoke, but we have fun trying and since we are spending time together who cares. Also we did the coffee shop again for an hour. Seems many foreigners cant get over us as a couple as they are constantly staring, but then Zhen is so beautiful its hardly surprising.
Affection wise things just keep getting better and better but of course we dont kiss in public, but we are still very affectionate toward each other. It looks and feels like we have been together for years, and that private little way of communicating keeps growing. Often one of us only has to look toward something and we know what is wanted or what we are going to do next. We barely use the electronic translator at all although I must admit our most used words in chinese are i do not understand lol. Still we are having a great time with things and we learn from each other quite well.
Day 5 in Beijing ( i think)
Oops before I forget, my luggage finally showed up from its own little trip the day that Zie went back to the agency. The airline delivered it to the hotel and everything was good except my light jacket that I had in an unlocked outer pocket was gone. All in all no biggie since I finally had some clean clothes.
Well its time to leave Beijing and travel the 442 miles to Handan Zhen's home town. We go by bullet train since I have never been on one and I didnt want to take 8 hours by normal train. however travelling on that train and dragging all my luggage and hers was a pain let me tell you. my suitcase was too big for the overhead rack and Zhen would not let me put it in the luggage area so it sat between our two seats and Zhen was forced to sort of half hang over it and hang her legs in the aisle. She would not let me move it to my side so she would be comfortable, but rather made sure i was comfortable first, and i couldnt get her to let me share the discomfort. And people wonder why we love these women eh?
So finally arrive in Handan and go to the hotel that the agency booked for me. Managed to get settled in and then it was off to supper with her four best friends.
Well sitting at a table with Zhen her 4 beautful friends and one daughter and me was quite a hoot. Here I am looking like some Sheik with his harem in a chinese resataurant hehe I loved it. Of course I got the third degree all over again from the friends for a couple of hours, but in the end it was pretty obvious to them that I loved Zhen an she loved me. Every one of them commented on my good temper as they put it and patience and care for Zhen so i think I made major brownie points with them. Still nothing like getting grilled by four and a half chinese women about my intentions for their best friend. They also had much laughter at my efforts to use chopsticks but at the same time i earned much respect for at least trying. Zhen of course was a dutiful Lao Po and everyone noticed how she cared for me. All in all it was a great night.
So after dinner with the friends they said goodbye and Zhen took me back to the hotel, all teh way to my room where we did a bit more language training. We still forget most words we learned the day before but slowly we are making progress. Then Zhen left for the night with promise to come get me at 8 am next morning.
So in summary we are really coming together very well as a couple and that private language of ours keeps growing. Anytime we need money I pull 2500 rmb at a time from the bank machine and hand it all to her. She takes care of everything and makes sure I want for nothing. I have to say that she has a remarkable skill at looking after me and I love it.
One little thing we did some shopping and she asked to buy an item she saw but I looked at the price tag and said we should conserve our money, and that was all that was said. she didnt get upset or pout or any bad feelings at all. She took my hand and gave me a smile and we carried on as if it had never happened.
So lessons learned? keep up with as close to a routine as you can and never neglect the language practice. If you feel trusting in your lady give her your money and let her do her thing, if yours is like my Zhen she will not waste it on anthing silly. Anytime she wants to buy something for herself, she always asks frst, then asks if I like it and then asks if the price is ok with me. Show her as much love and affection and trust as you can and be respectful of her and her ways. So far Zhen and I havent even come close to an issue except when I said no to a purchase but we are so good together now it didnt even faze her a bit.
We discuss everything together and i get my say and then we do what she planned anyway lol, but at least I get asked first . If its something I dont want to do or eat or whatever she gives me my way wthout batting an eye. I truly believe this is because we have built up respect and trust and of course we love each other.
Also never push her for affection beyond what she wants to give. You are in her backyard and you dont know who may be watching. Follow her lead in all things chinese and you will get along great together.
We have seen a few other mixed race couples both in Beijing and Handan and none of them looked anywhere near as happy as Zhen and I. I am not bragging here but it seems we just seemed to have gotten it right very quickly and its grown from there.
So here ends day one in Handan. Its been one hell of a great trip and as others have said definitely a trip of a lifetime.
Regards,
Brian
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keep up the great work Brain, happy to hear its all working out for you. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Greetings brothers,
Well i cant sleep and Zhen wont be here until noon tomorrow (today?) so I will post some more stuff.
On my last post I mentioned i couldnt remember what scenic sight we saw on day 4 I think it was. Well silly me how could anyone forget, we did the great wall at Badaling. Now we of course were stupid and signed up for the whole tour package. What an experience that was.
First the tour guide had to tell us about every rock and blade of grass along the entire bus ride. We stopped at a bunch of irrelevant places to do relatively minor and insignificant stuff, except for one thing. We took in the beijing wax museum. That was quite a good place to visit and i got pictures of almost all the exhibits.
The rest of the many stops on the trip really sucked as far as I was concerned and lunch was yet another strange example of the chinese mindset. Imagine if you will a banquet hall filled with round tables for nine people. However until ther full nine are seated they will not give you any food. Eight people and no food. So every table scrambles to grab any stray person that walks in just so they can eat lunch before their tour bus leaves. Quite an experience and definitely not one I would want to repeat.
The wall itself was impressive but yet again for Zhen and I it was humid over 30C no breeze and no shade. Climbing that wall in those conditions really sucked and I was soaked by the time we reached the top. It was a good time but I am not very heat tolerant, and even Zhen felt the effects. All in all i would have preferred to skip the multiple irellevant detour stops and concentrate on the museum and the wall but oh well.
Now some random thoughts in no particular order.
From reading all the posts on this forum about trips and ladies and issues and problems etc i have to say that I was truly one of the luckiest guys to make the trip to China. my entire trip has basically continued right from where our last letters to each other left off.
We felt the instant chemistry and attraction for each other, everything between us went exactly as we both had envisioned in our heads except for the not kissing until day 3. Now all things considered that is a minor thing.
I proposed to Zhen on the evening of day 3 but I am utterly sure she would have said yes right after my 3rd degree grilling on day1 which was my birthday. After that lunch and the discssion I am sure she would have said yes.
About the money stuff. I sent her $500 cdn about 4 or 5 days before i left Canada which is about 3000 rmb. She used 2000rmb of it to pay her agency meet fee and the rest to get herself and translator to Beijing wth plentyy left over. Trust was never an issue as far I we were concerned. While she never said she paid the agency fee out of teh money I sent it was fine with me as I was prepared to pay it anyway. From my viewpoint it was something that had to be done that we didnt discuss and so she just took care of it.
About the whole romantic versus using your head thing. Yes I am as romantic as any man can possibly be. Zhen however is even more romantic than am so there was great potential for this to blow up in our face as soon as we met. However, we also dscussed all the important stuff in our letters and webcam before I went over there, so to our minds we already had a solid base to work from.
I am lucky because we both remembered all the important things we discussed in the letters so we didnt have to cover that ground again. Also as for the affection stuff, I constantly touch her on some part of her body virtually every second we are together. we must say I love you or wo ai ni to each other hundreds of times a day. We never tire of saying it and we never tire of the physical contact.
we are either holding hands or I rub her back or leg, stroke her hair, kiss her etc etc. This was our way right from the hug at the airport and still goes on even now. This works very well for us but your mileage probably will vary.If we get seperated in a crowd or where ever it is only a second or two before Zhen stops and looks for me and comes to me or I to her. Its like we live off the physical and emotional contact, and instantly notice when its not there. again this is totally natural to both our personalities so may not work well for others.
I have said to her many times and also to her friends that as far as i am concerned Zhen is the most beautiful woman in the world. her friends often ask if I find other chinese ladies beautiful and of course I say yes they are but I always add that none are as beautiful as my Zhen. I think this reassures Zhen that i am serious about her and not interested in other women.
Once she asked me if I would end up cheating on her ( her first husband did and thats why they divorced) and I guess I had such a look on my face tha it scared her. I asked her what was wrong and she said at that moment she feared me!!. Needless to say I had to convince her again that she should never fear me regardless of what we said or did and that I would never hit her or abuse her or mistreat her or even shout at her. It took a few minutes to get things right again but it was quite the eye opener. again it goes back to being very carefull what emotion runs across your face because Zhen at least picks up on it really fast. In my letters I had told her that I do not drink, smoke, gamble, or do drugs, and would never hit her abuse her or raise my voice to her but i think this episode really made it sink in for her.
So much advice and wisdom I have gleaned from this forum and virtually all of it has stood me in good stead with Zhen right from the beginning. The only subject we have not discussed is politics and the reason we dont talk about politics is because neither one of us cares about the subject. We have discussed money, our future life, where we will live, religion, children etc etc even sex and if we are happy with each other.
For everyone just starting out I would highly recommend reading every thread on every forum on this site, do as Scottish Rob suggests and take notes in a notebook, and really work through everything here to glean the wisdom that is here for you to learn. Virtually every question you could ask has been asked at least once and answered also.
About travel in China. you have not lived untill you travel by taxi in china. It is a totally different experience that most places in the western world.
The utter confusion and disregard for what we consider rules of the road is unbelievable. However i have never seen an accident here in china, not even a fender bender or even a scratch to a car bike or person. The way bikes and pedestrians weave through traffic even at night when they are barely visible is astonishing. To me it seems the horn use is really a subtle language with each horn blast meaning a different thing, its like its a code. The buses are also quite the experience, as they will pack people in regardless of how many seats the have.
Climate: In both Beijing and Handan in early to mid semptember the heat is still a problem if you are unacustomed to it and the taxis rarely turn on the air conditioning, same inside the buildings, so be prepared for high humidity and heat. Bring a wide brimmed comfortable hat, sunglasses and definitely sunscreen. Also it seems there is rarely any wind here so the heat can be stifling.
Food. Be prepared to eat a massive variety of food every day. Much of what I have eaten this past few days I would never have thought i would and most of it I never knew the name of. However by teh same token most of it has been delicious. I told my lady Zhen what i would not eat and she remembered everything and only orders teh rest Be brave and trust your lady as far as teh food goes, she probably will not steer you wrong, I know Zhen hasnt.
Well i am finaly nodding off so I will end here for now.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Congrat's Brain and Zhen , now don't wake up and think it was all a Dream . hahaha
But then again .. looking at that big Diamond will tell you it's real .:heart:
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PHOTOS
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ROFLMAO....Go on Vince you tell him mate....LOL:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Good on ya Brian!
Best wishes to you and Zhen.
Also as Vince says & to steal a line from WoW ... Photos or it didn't happen!
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Great story, and lots of details. Congrats Brian and Zhen.
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Vince,
tut tut, calm down, ....He told us he can't upload photo's from his camera to the laptop, something about software, and that you will have to wait till he got home for posting his photo's.
I Didn't know you needed software, i just use a cable.... never had any problems !!
David....
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Wonderful stuff Brian. So happy for you and your beautiful Zhen, sounds like the dream we all seek come true.
Keep the great detailed posts coming, I am hanging on every word!
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He told us he can't upload photo's from his camera to the laptop, something about software, and that you will have to wait till he got home for posting his photo's.
I Didn't know you needed software, i just use a cable.... never had any problems !!
We dunt ned any stinkin sofeware!!! :icon_biggrin:
Just plug the damn thing in. Comeon what is this 2008 ?
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No Vince we time warped when you weren't looking its now 2007 Muhahahaha !!! :fi_lone_ranger:
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Do we get to do the Rocky Horror Time Warp dance?
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Greetings brothers,
First thanks for all the kind words they are truly appreciated. As far as handan being 442 miles from Beijing yes you are correct it could be km's, I just assumed it was miles. The bullet train ride took 3 hours with a max speed of 207km/hr, however we didnt always travel that speed.
Ok guys from here its not gonna be a day by day thing more of an overview. I have totally lost track of days and time so I dont even know what day of the week it is. So without further ado on with the story....
First let me tell you about Handan. It is a very old and very dirty city with a steel mill as its main economic resource. Needless to say the pollution is horrible and often you cannot see the tops of nearby buildings. It seems the entire city is in a state of restoration and the whole city looked like it just suffered a massive bombing raid like you see in war movies. There is so much demolition going on and so much new construction its really noisy and dusty.
So any way on with the tale. Every day we meet more of Zhen's friends. She has an astonishing number of them and everyone tells me how nice and kind hearted she is and she makes friends easily. Both her parents died in an accident when she was in university but she has one brother and two sisters and of course her son RuiChen. Since I have been in Handan at least one meal a day is in someones home. Its really quite the experience eating home made dumplings in someones home instead of the restaurant variety. So tasty and delicious hmmmmm good.
One interesting thing. Zhen's sister is married to a local artist who does a lot of horse paintings. When we were there visiting and eating the dumplings they presented me with a matched set of paintings to bring back to Canada. These are quite the exquisite art pieces so needless to say I was very touched that they would make such a gesture. It must have been clear to them how much Zhen means to me and how much in love we really are for them to give such a gift. They live in a decent apartment on the top floor of their building and the place looks very similar to a western apartment. These paintings I am sure he sells for good money so all in all a remarkable gift.
So anyway we decided to go to the agency so I could meet our translator and Daniel and Echo. While there I met several of the other ladies and even recognized a couple of them from ther profile pics. We spent over an hour there laughing and joking and Zhen showing off her lao Gong and her engagement ring to the rest. While we were there an Australian guy named Steve came in with his chinese wife so we had a little chat but I had to keep talking with the ladies from the agency so couldnt talk with him much. All in all the agency was a good visit and Daniel and Echo who run the agency truly care about their ladies. its nice to see a decent agency with reasonable rates and lots of support for the ladies in their quest.
For Zhen I think she said her sign up fee was 3000rmb, a 2000 rmb meet fee and a 3800 marriage fee. Now compared to some of the numbers we have seen here and on the official forums those seem to be really reasonable prices.
So we took a bus ride the other day to an ancient temple perched on the side of the muntain. I dont know the name as all teh ticket and paperwork i have from there are in chinese but it is a temple to some female goddess I think. Once again over 30c humid sunny no shade and no breeze, and herre we are climbing up the side of a mountain to visit a temple. Anyway on the tortirous path up the mountain a holy man of some variety did a reading for Zhen. You know the chinese astrology thing palm reading all rolled into one. We sat tehre for almost half an hur aas he did his thing. I understood nothing of course but by watching Zhen it as clear he was saying something good. We left there and she had a big smile on heer face so I asked her why. Sh replied that the holy man had said many good things about us and that we would be together forever. Needless to say we were both very happy about this.
So we carried on up the mountain and doing our usual thing and got to the temple. when we reached the very top where the monks were one took Zhen and had her pray in the temple and then did another reading. This one was much more in depth and at a few points I kinda started to worry from watching Zhens face. However they finished the reading and Zhen was all smiles so all was good. The monk then took us both into the closed of part of teh temple in front of the goddess and basically blessed us both and our union. i even felt goose bumps on my arms and he hair at the back of my neck and on my arms stood up like when you get scared or a really good thrill. It was kind of a weird feeling.
Anyway, Zhen was on cloud nine at this point so I asked what was said. She told me that the monk confirmed what the first guy had said and more and all of it was good. needless to say we are both vey happy at this turn of events and things if possible are even better between us. So now we have been blessed by all her friends, her family and the goddess. and monks and holy men. What more could one ask for, everything is absolutely perfect between us and I have never been so happy in my life.
So after the temple it was another long bus ride back to Handan and dinner with he brother and his family. Zhens son RuiChen was also there so it felt like a family dinner. We also brought our agency translator with us as a treat for her great efforts on our behalf. Once again it was clear to everyone how much in love we are and how much we care for each other. We had Duck for supper and of course a bunch of other stuff and the translator Una did the go between for us. It was a great success and wwe had fun all around, and after everyne parted I asked Zhen how it went and she said everyone is pleased and happy for us.
So basically at this point everyone that could have posed an issue has been met and impressed and we have everyones blessing to proceed. Obviously this is a great load off my mind and a great affirmation for Zhen she positively glows with love now its unbelievable. many of her friends have commented on the changes in her and how happy she is now that we are together.
Well guys gotta cut this one short, my lady Zhen has just arrived and i am sure you understand that she has priority.
I will update again later,
Regards,
Brian
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Greetings brothers,
Its time for another update.
Zhen and i have so far not experienced anything bad or discordant in our relationship, and in fact we grow closer every hour. When we were in beijing holding hands was the norm and we did it all the time. Here in Handan however she has this thing that we cannot hold hands as we walk about town or in the parks etc.
I of course respect this but it is kind of curious. I can put my hand on her thigh in restaurants and cabs, rub her back hold her around the waist as we walk etc etc but the handholding is a no no. So from a western perspective the mildest form of public affection, hand holding is a no no yet more advanced stuff like rubbing her thigh or back or holding her about the shoulders or waist is ok. I have tried to get her to explain this but the translator machine fails miserably, and of course there is no one I can ask.
However it has become a game now and i will take her hand sometimes and see how long it takes her to react. We always get a chuckle when she realizes we are holding hands in public and she says no not in Handan and we laugh. she herself has reached for my hand on several occasions every day so I dont know if this is a game with her or she is serious but cant fight the habit established in beijijng or what. Anyway its an interesting cultural puzzle.
As mentioned previously our affection level increases every day and now we are getting borderline riske. We now steal kisses when walking in parks and stuff like that, ( no I am not going into detail on "stuff like that") you will have to use your imagination. Our own private language is also growing to the extent that often she will say something to me in chinese and I will get enough of it to understand without having a clue what she said. Its really kinda freaky to watch us interact.
Friends will often burst out laughing when she says something to me in chinese that I cannot understand yet respond properly.. They can see that i dont understand the words yet I manage to get the gist of it anyway. She does the same thing back with me.
Today also we finally managed to do a webcam with my sister in BC Canada, so Zhen and her could meet. Yes it was a bit akward as they cannot communicate with words but with me playing translator it went very well.My sister likes Zhen and has heard some of our story up to my trip and beyond so I felt it was time they met.
They hit it off quite well and both confirmed to me that they like the other so a good stride forward as far as Zhen being accepted by family. We are going to do it again in 2 days so that Zhen and my Mom and other sister can also meet. This will be a surprise to mom and other sister as they only know that I am on vacation not what I am realy doing here. Hopefully my family will accept Zhen but it really doesnt matter because they know I will do what I feel i must. Still their acceptance of Zhen would make her feel better so its worth the effort.
Zhen is one of those people who makes friends really easily and is very outgoing and friendly so I am sure all will be well.
Yesterday we did one of the local parks in Handan. Nice but nothing compared to Beijing. still, I was spending time with Zhen and scenery is almost a distraction now so its all good. After the park we went to a friends house for lunch and killed the afternoon hanging around an talking. Zhen's friends it seems have totally accepted us as a couple and talk to me directly even though they know I cannot understand. Its nice to feel included when 4 or 5 beautful chinese ladies all start talking about you. It seems Zhen moving to Canada in the future is of great interest to all of them.
Also I discovered that the friend we had lunch with is dating a guy in Tennessee USA. They have been for many months and he is going to china to see her in November. They dont go through CNlove but rather send text messages to each other often during the day. I told her i hope everything works as well for her as it has for Zhen and i and she was really happy for that.
More cultural stuff.
As has often been said on these forums when in china your lady will take total control of your life while you are in her care. Zhen controls our money, where we eat what we do when we go shopping etc etc. I differ slightly from everyone else however in two ways. One Zhen never washed my clothes in the bathroom of my hotel heheh however she did take care of getting the hotel to launder them second I actually get told and asked ahead of time when she is planning our day.... sometimes. Most often its as others have said she plans things and I find out on the way there, but so far everything has gone well so I guess it doesnt bother me.
Also every so often in our conversations she will ask a question about stuff from our letters. I know she knows the answers as she rarely forgets anything important that I tell her or have written to her. For instance when we were at the temple and she was getting the readings done they had to have asked her for my date of birth yet she never had to ask me she knew the day month and year by heart. So I give her the answers again and its like she is verifying what I just responded with against what i wrote her. I guess its a defence mechanism thing and she is checking to make sure things are real with no lies. Now I am sure many guys would get upset about this, but for me its no biggie.
When Zhen and I started writing, she had been with Cnlove for a year and 3 months, so i am sure i am not the first to have written to her but I am definitely the last. She has asked the agency to hide her profile and they agreed. This was done during or visit to the agency so I know it happened. Anyway the point here is never lie to your lady and expect to get away with it. If yours is like Zhen she will find out and everything you have built to that point will be destroyed. Its just not worth it.
Eating: Well for someone who never experiments with different kinds of food, I have eaten nothing but chinese since I have been here. The only exception is that i was bullied by Zhen and her friendds to go to KFC. yes thats right kentucky Fried Chicken. Now I gotta say who ever called this stuff western food is nuts. I have never seen this in Canada an we have KFC everywhere. the stuf was horrible. Tip to the wise, dont eat western food in China stick with the local stuff its so much better. Also on food I would suggest learning how to eat the basics with chopsticks before you go over. First it makes meals easier, and second it will impress your lady and her friends. Zhens friends get many laughs at my attempts at chopsticking but its all in good fun so no worries. They are impressed that I make the effort and they say I am improving. So more brownie points for me.
Zhen is really good when it comes to serving me, and makes sure she gives me pieces sized that I can handle, especially when we have company. She doesnt force stuff i dont like and basically always feeds me before herself, I get all the choice pieces etc etc. I can honestly say I have never in my life been treated any better than the way Zhen looks after me. I am so gratefull that she is blind enough to consider me handsome as do her friends. I guess its all the pollution in the air, it blurs their vision hehe. Anyway point here is if you are reasonable and tell your lady what you will not eat ahead of time you can avoid embarrassing her in a public restaurant, she will not order what you dont like even if its her favourite, and you will probably eat better than you have in your entire life. There are many things I have eaten that I have no name for yet all were delicious.
Chinese attitudes toward us.
By and large the chinese people are a really friendly race of people. We have had folks go out of their way to help us or give us directions etc. Only in the last day or two have any significant number of people stared at me as we walk about. We both get a kick out of teenage girls that stare and when i notice them directly they get embarresed, and offer a shy smile which i return. its all really cute and lots of fun. However we have also had people stop in their tracks, stare at me and just stand there looking. Today we were having a bit of a sex talk using the electronic translator, when this one old guy stopped and stared and then came over and wanted to watch what Zhen was typing to me. well she was in the middle of a point which was not for public consumption as it were and she got quite embaressed. She finally had to tell the guy to move along and stop bothering us.
Usually when people in Beijing or Handan or tourist spots stare at us its Zhen they are looking at not me. I told her that when she comes to Edmonton that everyone will stare at her, and she gets quite a kick out of it. just goes to show women the world over all love being told they are beautiful and they all love the attention we shower on them.
The point here is you are going to be exposed to different cultural ways of doing things and many of the chinese have no sense of shame. You need to learn to go with the flow as has been explained previously on the forums and not take offense at what people do around you. This is especially true in the smaller towns. Alway s be polite and respectful, especially to your lady. Dont mistreat her especially in public. She is your biggest defender in all things chinese so dont do anything stupid that will cause her to lose face.
Well the sad reality of my trip nearing its end is upon us. Tomorrow Zhen is going to buy the train tickets to Beijing for Saturdays departure. Needless to say i was pretty down when she said this but I never let it hit my face. I noticed a few times today that she seemed a little sad so I think its on her mind also. she is going to make the trip to Beijing to see me off at the airport. i see this as a big gesture on her part, taking the bullet three hours to Beijing to see me off at the airport then riding the 3 hours back to Handan alone. That will be the first time she has been alone other than sleeping for the past two weeks, and I am sure we both are gonna be hurting. Damn I am tearing up and hurting just typing this now so I hate to think what saturday is gonna be like.
This is the harsh reality of doing what we do to meet the love of our life in a far away land. The going to visit is great, the time spent together fantastic but the parting again is downright brutally painfull, at least for me. The next few months until i can get back here and marry her are going to be the toughest of my entire life. Yes we still have letters and we are going to webcam almost daily as our schedules permit but they will never bring the same joy again as they did before our visit. It hurts like hell just thinking about it and it hasnt even happened yet.
Well time to get a grip here and remember I still have a couple of days with the most wonderful woman in the world. Sorry about the teary mushy stuff but it just hit me like a mack truck.
So to end this long rambling disaster of post I am going to bow to the wishes of many and especially Vince and try to add some pictures. Just remember you asked for them so dont blame me if you dont like them heheh Just kidding.
First pic is Zhen and I.
Greetings guys,
Well it seems i cannot get teh pics to attach. So if you really want to see them i am gonna need some help here. I just typed this message a few mins ago and attached teh pic of Zhen and I to this but again it didnt come through. Also I need help changing my avatar pic and I cant find where the default directory is. Keep in mind I am using a chinese language computer so I cannot understand what teh buttons etc are saying.
Thanks for any help
Brian
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I think I missed something in your story, not a bus, but more than one in fact ^^'
I would first congrat you and Zhen about the way you both live your lovestory and I just can wish you all the best that it goes on that way :)
For sure, most of us would like (for those ones who still didn't up to now) to live it the same way you actually do with Zhen :)
Thanks about all the details, thanks about all the experience you can provide, and thanks again about all the things you can share it with all of us, here ;)
About the avatar, when logged here, just look upside, the first two links where you can log out and go to your profile, the first one is your profile, the second one lets you disconnect.
When you can go to your profile, check the 2d paragraph, if you can see like a "frame", click on it, it will let you help to change your avatar (it should be ok?)
And about pictures, if you can't put it here, just try to send it via hotmail or any mailgroup to anyone here?
there is always like some "attach" button.
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Greetings Brothers,
Just a quick note as i wait for Zhen to arrive. First Sly, thanks for the tips I will try it when I have a bit more time.
Mike, I feel for you my friend and I read all your story as well. I am glad that you guys have worked through the rough stuff and I am sure it has made your love stronger. It sure seems that our ladies have similar views on many things.
Also it seems that chinese ladies as a whole are a wonderful bunch and I for one am so glad that I went this route to find Zhen. While i am not religious, I certainly do believe it was fate or destiny or whatever for Zhen and I to be together, in fact I believe that no matter where in the world we were we would have found each other.
They are remarkable ladies and deserve the very best that we can give them physically emotionally and of course lovingly. They for sure will give us the very best of themselves in return and after all isnt that why we are all here in the first place?
As we all can see from other trips and posts here on these forums I have been remarkably lucky with my lady Zhen and my trip to visit her. We have had a great time with no issues worth mentioning and everything keeps getting better. I will leave the electronic translator with Zhen and also the laptop we bought here. She says for internet at her residence its 1000rmb per year so I figure thats a cheap way to go for webcam contact anytime we choose.
Zhen has learned the ectronic translator better than I have and now knows how to turn on the computer load skype and make the webcam call. Oh one cute thing she also said to me was that she will only use the internet to talk with me, she says she will not surf the internet.
They serious look on her face and they way she said it showed me once again how much she loves me.
Several of Zhens friends have asked me what I thought of China and its people, ladies in particular, and I can honestly say I feel very welcome and comfortable here. Moreso than any other place I have gone to visit. Maybe its because of Zhen but everything just feels right to me here. As for my thoughts on the ladies i reply that I find them all to be beautiful however none as beautiful as my Zhen. This of course sets off gales of laughter and joking around. Zhen's friends all love her very much its plain to see and they are all happy with our relationship and the very great change in Zhen since she met me. They say she has always been happy and friendly before but now she positiely glows and is so happy it makes those around her happy. It is of course nice for me to hear these things from her friends and family and I am just glad I am the one resposible for these changes.
As you are all aware before we actually fly here to do the face to face thing many doubts as to the sincerity of the ladies, are they real or is it the translator or agency etc etc. does she really love you, and care about you as she says in her letters? I admit that I too felt these feelings and doubts before I came here. However at least for me everything since my arrival has been an extension of what we said and started in the letters. The only false stuff I have seen is that Zhen's pictures and even the webcam visits could never prepare me for how truly beautiful she really is. I think maybe its because a picture cannot capture the true person only the outer shell and Zhen is oh so much more beautiful on the inside than on the outside.
I am sure many of you who have met your ladies can relate to this. Pictures just cannot capture her heart and soul and personality.
Well this was only meant to be a short quick reply but as you can see when it comes to Zhen I can go on all day lol.
Take care Brothers
Zhen and Brian
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Brian, I am soooo happy for you and Zhen, from reading all your posts I can tell that you are a good couple that will have many happy and wonderful years together, I sincerely wish you and Zhen all the best, she has a good man, and you have a good women. Your story is an inspiration to all, I usually do not show much emotion, but your story has brought good memories of when I was last in China with my wife back in May, and it brought tears to my eyes. Soon we will be reunited for good (We have completed the immigration stuff and interview process) just a matter of a few short weeks now until my wife receives her visa.
Again, Congratulations to both you and Zhen, you have a great loving relationship going with each other.
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Brian, most everything you are feeling I have and am feeling so i will not reiterate it here. it is great for you. One thing, have you asked her how she likes the cold? My wife hates it and was so scared that Dalton or Savannah had a cold winter. She was very relieved to know that it was not very cold and for a very short time.
If you want to put the pics up, go to photobucket.com put them up for free. that way friends and family can see them also. But like Mike said it takes a long time to upload them. I started it, then went out out dinner, by the time I came back they would be done. Just remember to save your address or you will never find them again. lol
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Brian,
I am really happy for you both! It a a fantastic feeling when it all works out and you find your other half. I still can't get over the fact that even though were from vastly different cultures and upbringing that we can seem to fit together so well, from your posts I think you feel too. To get the blessing of the Buddhist priests is such a great feeling! and means a lot! Best wishes for the future from Ming Zhi and myself. If your ever around Baoding there's always a bed and a good dinner for you and the wife here.:icon_biggrin:
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I think Brian has sussed it. These ladies look beautiful, but once you see what's in the side, well wow! I now love my lady's personality even more than her appearance, but she is pretty much the complete package :dodgy:.
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Greetings Brothers,
Bob, congratulations on the visa news thats wonderfull and of course thank you from both of us for the kind words.
Jimb yes Zhen and I have discussed how cold Alberta winters can get but i am sure she has no clue what minus 30 and lower feels like. It will be a shock to the system for sure but she is remarkably strong and resilient so I am sure she will do fine.
Paul, thanks for the kind words and offer of a place to stay, both are much appreciated. I am planning on living in china untill Zhen's (our?) son finishes high school and getting a teaching gig somewhere so who knows we may take you up on your offer. Also yes the monks blessing certainly left an impression and Zhen was so happy about it it was worth climbing all those steps.
Also I found out what the temple name is. We picked up a brochure while we were there but Zhen had it and just gave it to me tonight. It is called the Wahuang Temple and is part of the Shexian tourist spots in Hebei province. This tourist area is 80km from Handan. Apparently they started building the temple back in 550!! and has been named one of the wonders of China.
Well another day gone and only one full day left. Today we did nothing in particular just spent time with each other, which of course is special in itself. In the morning we spent some time in the hotel room and then met a friend for dinner. Did i mention she (we) have an almost endless supply of friends? I swear she must know half the ladies in Handan.
Anyway this lady took us to a jewellry maker as I wanted a Jade bracelet for my sister ( we went to teh jewellry makers home). We looked at a lot of bracelets but never bought one because while we knew her wrist size we didnt know if it would fit over her hand. For those who dont know which bracelets i mean these are worn by chinese ladies as a source of good luck and the never take them off. The one Zhen wears she put on when she was much younger and she will have to break it to get it off. The bracelet is a solid piece of jade with no break, or clasp, hinge or any way to open it in the traditional bracelet manner. I ended up getting a Jade pendant for my sister and one for her daughter also. They are apparently worn to ward against evil and bad luck.
after the jade shopping Zhen and I went to KTV (Karaoke) for the rest of the afternoon,just the two of us. Zhen had me sing every song I could find that had even a clue what it was. One thing here about KTV. It appears this is how many older ladies spend an evening out with friends. so for those of us past 35 ish be prepared to be taken to a KTV lounge. Each group gets a private room so you only sing in front of the folks you came with. So there we were singing away to each other in a TV lounge. By the way these songs get butchered by the translation and the words on the screen often didnt match the words I remember.
Anyway we spent about three hours there and my Zhen sang some songs to me. Finally I asked Zhen to find the song Wo Ai Ni by the chinese group SHE. this song is in chinese and I realy shocked her by singing it to her in chinese. I actually knew the words better than she did reading them from the screen. Needless to say she was impressed that her Lao Gong could sing a chinese love song to her in chinese!!
After KTV its off to friends for the evening meal. We ate with the friends that Zhen and I have spent the most time with there and had a great time. One of her friends received a call from the agency with a call from her man in the US. The three ladies went into the other room to take the call and Zhen and I had some time to steal a few kisses. We could hear bits of the call from the states and I took our electronic translator to them to help them figure out what was being said and how to reply.
After the call we all gathered in the living room again and we just sat and chatted and grilled the only male in the house on life in Canada and what we will do when Zhen and I are married. Once again its a great feeling being the only male surrounded by four chines ladies and a ten year old girl who was trying to be the interpreter. All in all a decent evening. Later Zhen and I came back to my hotel room for some language training.
Tomorrow, my last full day here starts with breakfast then a webcam with my Mom and two sisters to meet Zhen. should be an interesting time since Mom and one sister only found out today about the real purpose of my visit here.
Summary: Basically a quite day spent with the woman I love. What on earthh could possible be better than that
Cultural stuff: The friend that we had lunch with today brought her young daughter along with her. After we warmed up to each other I played peek a boo with her while Zhen and her friend chatted. Here is a funny thought. All these friends of ours that i have met i cannot remember a single name. Its very difficult for me to differentiate the names form teh general conversation so i lose the names very quickly. not that its really a big deal but it would be nice to remember the names of my new found friends.
In the west the names seem to stand out more from the conversation than in china. Either that or I am just terrible at names.
Anyway back to the daughter of our friend from lunch. as i said I played with her whle Zhen and friend talked. When we left I put my sunglasses on as we walked and the girl noticed and ran over to Mom to get her sunglasses because I had a pair on. also while we were at the jade merchant we played around as well. when we left the Jade merchant the little girl stumbled and I of course reached to catch her. well the look on Moms face and Zhens too was quite the sight. I guess the way i was treating the daughter just is not done in china. the mom later told me her daughter really liked me and she said it with such a big smile on her face. I am now considered to be her uncle.
Once again something that seemed perfectly normal to me earned me great face with both the mom and Zhen and also I would guess for Zhen also.
So the thought here of course is to pay attention to all the people in your little group not just the adults. When we are under the microscope as we always are during these visits anything positive that you can do helps both your cause personally and also the relationship as well. As with any parent these ladies really love it when you spend time with their children as well as them.
As for the KTV thing just a few words. The ladies you go with will not let you bow out of the singing. They dont care how good or bad you do they only care that you try and that you get involved in the fun. So be prepared to sing.
Regards brothers, take care,
Zhen and Brian
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Greetings Brothers,
"... Later Zhen and I came back to my hotel room for some language training.
He he So THAT'S what its called now Brian...LOL:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Seriously though mate..I am REALLY really pleased for you...Your story is exciting for me as my visit comes up soon, so it's giving me hope...Thank you mate.
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I am sure many of you who have met your ladies can relate to this. Pictures just cannot capture her heart and soul and personality.
Yes, only once you have walked in their shoes can you experience their true soles,....ooops find their true souls. Great read Fellow Canadian and best wishes Brian for your future. Sorry to alert you to the dreaded coming big freeze season soon to be upon us. Enjoy your last few days in the land of the Orient and the charming females that inhabit it.
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Great going Brian. You are right on all of your counts. I love the kids here too. There is one in our building that even though she is only about 4, speaks English enough to give me a few words. She is the cutest little thing. Anyway, each day when I see her we chat for a minute. Now when she sees me she comes running up to me. I sit on a bench and she sits on my lap telling me little things, between English and her Chinese it is quite a story. I love it.
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JimB, now see, you just went and made me think of my niece and now i am missing her, she is so cuite and she loves to sit in your lap and talk your ear off, she has these bright smiling eyes that draw you inand such a camera ham, thanks Jim for the memmories
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[attachment=689][attachment=688][attachment=687][attachment=685]GreetingsBrothers,
Well I am back in Edmonton, although I can no longer call it home. Home for me now is where Zhen is. I got back to my apartment around midnight and cannot sleep so I figure I will try to upload a few pics. I will also do another update tomorrow.
So without further ado, some pics. Ok added some pics but a couple seem blurred after the resize. Basically the pics Are Zhen of course, me and Zhen, Zhen me and her (our?) son, and also the restaurant in Beijing that Zhen took me to for my birthday where we had teh Peking duck. Also ZHen and our translator Zie. Will post more pics tomorrow.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Wow, Zhen has beautiful hair. You must be really :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Very Nice Brian....:icon_biggrin:
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Jeeez.....what a catch....lucky sod :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Congrats..well done
DavidE
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Jeeez.....what a catch....lucky sod :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Yes - they always say that the grass is greener on the other side :icon_biggrin:
Best wishes Brian
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Brean, you have a beautiful woman and you are very lucky man, great photos.
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Brian,
Best of luck to you my friend, See just goes to show, some of you Romantics do catch the birdie!!...haha!!
Now, ....i wonder if you can now stop jumping through the hoops, and come back down to earth long enough to start thinking constructively about what your next moves are?? This is the time you can't afford to be looking at your world through rose tinted glasses, this is were it starts getting serious mate, your future depends on it!!
For now, like everyone else, i'm really happy for you...
David....
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Brian,
Best of luck to you my friend, See just goes to show, some of you Romantics do catch the birdie!!...haha!!
Now, ....i wonder if you can now stop jumping through the hoops, and come back down to earth long enough to start thinking constructively about what your next moves are?? This is the time you can't afford to be looking at your world through rose tinted glasses, this is were it starts getting serious mate, your future depends on it!!
For now, like everyone else, i'm really happy for you...
David....
Greetings Brothers,
Thanks for the kind words as always, and yes my Zhen is truly beautiful. These pics still do not do her justice as she is oh so much more beautiful in person, she just radiates happiness and love.
David 5o: Yes my friend both Zhen and I realize the glasses must come off and we must deal with reality now to make our life together happen. We spent much time while we were in Handan her home town discussing exactly that and how to accomplish it.
While it takes us a while to discuss things like mortgages and such with those very limited electronic translators, we are both very patient and keep going till we are both certain the other understands.
Our basic plan is that I will find a job in China somewhere and work there until our son RuiChen finishes school in 3 years. Then we can move to Canada so he can go to university. If he wants to stay in china and go to university then Zhen and I will still come to Canada and we can visit back and forth. The advantage to doing it this way is that one we dont have to be seperated waiting the Canadian govt to get its stuff together and issue a visa, and two after being married for 3 years in china it should make bringing her to Canada easier as they cannot say she just wants an entry visa.
So yes we have thought this out, and the only fly in the ointment that we can see is me getting a job there. I am going to start today to hammer every school, university, etc in China that I can get in contact with and try to get a teaching job. Zhen has said it doesnt matter where in China as she will follow me wherever we go and she can always find work.
SO assuming I can find one teaching gig in all of China we should be set. I have some funds here and pensions etc so that when we do return to Canada we can buy her a house asap and then we are all set. We will live with my sister in Summerland British Columbia until we both find work and the house, when we go to Canada. Also all my furniture and effects will be stored at my sisters place in BC until we return so we wont have to start from scratch.
Anyway this was just supposed to be a short reply lol I guess I cannot do short when it relates to Zhen.
Take care guys, and thanks for all the support and encouragement that you have give Zhen and me
ZHen and Brian
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Greetings Brothers,
Another update this one from back in Canada.
Ok lets start with my last full day in China. As usual my Zhen came to the hotel and we went down for breakfast. Today there were no big plans just spending our remaining time together. We stayed in the hotel room and discussed future plans with the very limited help of the electronic translator.
When it was time for lunch we met with our son RuiChen and had a family meal just the 3 of us. With RuiChen's help we communicated a bit easier but really only chatted, nothing deep but still a quality family meal and we all had fun. After lunch RuiChen went back to school and Zhen and I went to a local park just to wander around outside and be together. We have become so comfortable with each other that we do not need to fill in all the time with conversation. Just being close and together is enough, although we are constantly touching and looking at each other.
We sat on a park bench in the shade as it was once again 30C plus and humid. Also it seemed like a competition to see who got the most stares. My Zhen because she is so beautiful many people would stare at her and not me, yet many also stared at me especially the older ones. There are not many foreigners in Handan so I guess I do stick out a tad. Its really funny to watch the younger girls/ladies looking at us especially once they realize I am a foreigner, and we received many shy smiles and heard much laughter. After a while we went to a cafe called C. straits Cafe and had a decent cup of coffee although it was quite expensive just for one cup, about 160 yuan. This is the kind of thing that my Zhen does for me. If I express a wish or answer a question with a positive its off to fulfill the wish and who cares about the cost. As far as Zhen is concerned if its something I want or need then its done. Who could possibly ask for anything more in a wife. All in all a wonderful last afternoon together.
Later we had another family meal with just the 3 of us, and this time it was a hotpot. My first in China. Once again we were the centre of attention in the restaurant and the manager gave us a free plate of meat for our hotpot. Very nice of her indeed. We even had an air conditioner running for us since I hate the humidity and heat especially when trying to eat. The heat from the hotpot was conflicting with the air conditioner so it was hot cold hot cold for the entire meal, but I really enjoyed it.
All in all a wonderful dinner. Then back to the hotel for Zhen and I and RuiChen went home to do homework and study. He really works hard at his schooling and is a polite quiet young man. So back in the hotel Zhen and I went over once more how to turn on the computer, load skype and which buttons to click on to do a webcam. We both wanted to be sure that Zhen remembered how to do it all once I was back in Canada. Still she has RuiChen to help her if she gets confused. So off to bed early as Zhen is going to come and pick me up at 4am for the trip to Beijing and the airport.
Last Day:
So my Zhen came to get me at 4am as promised, she must not have slept much as she didnt leave the hotel until after 10pm the night before. Since she took the computer home with her I could not do any last updates from China before I left.
So off to the train to Beijing. This time its a sleeper train but it was delayed 30 mins so we didnt leave until 6am. The sleeper is much like the ones here I guess with 4 bunks to a cubicle. The only issue I had with it was the idea of hot bunking with the previous occupant. They didnt seem to refresh the beds after each person left. Oh well when in China....
So we did the long boring ride to Beijing and Zhen kept telling me to sleep but I could not. I just wanted to look at her for the whole trip to Beijing. All in all an ok train ride and the only bad thing about it was its purpose.
Anyway we made it t Beijing and getting a taxi was an experience. First everyone Zhen asked about where to go sent us in different directions so we spent a while dragging my luggage all over the train station before finally reaching the taxi area. Here it was organized confusion instead of the usual free for all. The guys in charge at the taxi station made everyone line up and the cabs came fast and furious. If you took too long getting into your cab you earned the wrath of the attendant who yelled and screamed at you to get in and get out of the way of the other cabs. It was well organized and quite funny to watch. Also at the train station was one of the few times I saw police armed with submachine guns or sawed of shotguns I wasnt sure which and wasnt gonna go ask hehe.
So we made it to the airport well ahead of departure time so I checked in an got rid of my luggage and we went to a nice chinese restaurant in the airport for our last meal together. Zhen as always ordered and the waitress brought me a knife and fork. This was the first time I actaully felt insulted to get a knife and fork at a meal. Usually we have to ask for cutlery but this time the waitress automatically assumed I would need it. Probably because most foreigners ask for it and she was just being polite and helpful. However I proceeded to eat the entire meal without using the western cutlery just to prove that I could, and maybe she shouldnt assume hehe. Usually I only use the knife and fork for cutting bigger pieces into manageable size for my chopstick skill. Anyway a decent last meal and we are still both in good spirits although as time ticks down its getting harder to keep a smile on my face.
We wandered around the airport for over an hour just being together and dreading our parting. Finally its off to the gate area with much hugging and kissing and tears. Its really hard to speak when your throat is closed with emotion so not many words. Finally I forced myself to go through the gate and my Zhen watched me go all the way to the escalator and down to the shuttle train. That was without a doubt the hardest parting I have ever done in my life and both of us had tears streaming down our faces. Also we didnt care how many people stared at us as we kissed and kissed just before the security post. It was virtually the first time we had kissed so openly in public the entire trip, as public kissing especially among older people is just not done in China.
So there it was our parting complete and I am off for the long boring return to Canada. For once no issues with customs or flights etc, even my luggage decided to be nice and follow me back to Edmonton. I finally arrived back at my apartment close to midnight on the 19th sept. Never again can I call Edmonton home. For me home will always be wherever my Zhen is.
Summary: Well guys I have to say that considering many of the other trips that we have read about on these forums I have been extraordinarily blessed with such a successful trip. Absolutely everything went well. It was really an extension of our letters right down to the last detail. The only bad thing for me was returning to Canada without Zhen. From the very first hug at the airport on arrival to the very last hug and kiss on departure it was as if we were destined to be together.
I have been accepted by my love Zhen, her son, her family, and friends and even the monks at the temple blessed us. What more could I have possibly asked for. My lady and I have committed to each other for the long haul, we have the support of her family and mine and all her ( our) friends. Ours has been the true fairytale romance and in the new year we plan to write the next chapter and get married on or about Valentines day 2010 which I understand is also supposed to be Chinese new year.
So for you romantic guys out there who wonder if its real or just a dream I say to you go and find out and live the dream. It has been a resounding success for Zhen and I and we are so happy together. For those who tend to use your heads instead of your hearts I would say let your heart loose and enjoy the romantic as well as the practical. So many of the profiles on Chnlove say the lady is romantic, so run with it. You may just be surprised at how much it helps you.
My advice to all:
For all those guys writing to their ladies and preparing for your first trip I have these suggestions.
- Read every trip diary on these forums, the successes and the ones less so. Every trip I read taught me more about what to expect and what to be prepared for. Everything from how to eat, how to let your lady control your funds and your itinerary, how to deal with friends and family. The taxis, the stares, the public affection and its restrictions etc etc, its all covered in these trip diaries. Read them and learn from what the other brothers have shared of the successes and failures. Go in with as much information and knowledge as you can.
-Maxx's 24 hour rule.Learn it and live it. I was extremely fortunate in that I did not have anything come up that required its use yet it was always in the back of my mind. Unless your lady speaks very good english you will probably use an electronic translator. These devices are great but also at the same time extremely limited when it comes to complex topics. They also seem to get the point across better going from english to chinese than they do from chinese to english. Often my Zhen would quickly grasp what I was trying to say to her yet we had no end of grief with me trying to understand what she was saying in return. She had to rephrase a thought many times to get the point across.
Patience. This is probably the number one thing you can take on your trip with you to see your lady. If you are not infinitely patient in your dealings with your lady, the translator if you have one and the electronice devices also you will come to grief. Many of these wonderful ladies have very limited english ability and are very self concious about it. If you lose your cool or show her any impatience or frustration it will just make everything more difficult for both of you. My Zhen and I were lucky in that we seemed to develop our own communication methods using looks and body language and intuition more than words so often we would go a whole day with barely resorting to the electronic translator. Whether you will develop this skill as quickly as we did who knows. Zhen and I also spent every evening teaching each other words and using the electronic translator for discussions. Neither one of us lost our composure and we had great fun walking around in Beijing pointing out things and exchanging the english and chinese words. While most of it didnt stick in our heads the important thing is that we were communicating and learning about each other and spending time together. Building your communicatoin skills is probably the single most important thing you can do together.
People Interactions: Obviously you must treat your lady with great respect. Remember that you are under the microscope and every word and action will be analyzed and studied not only by your lady but everyone around you. You are in her back yard. Show her all possible respect and honour and she will bend over backwards to ensure you are taken care of. Make sure you never embarass her in public. For you it may be no big deal, you leave in a couple weeks and so no worries but your lady and your actions will be remembered and she is the one who will have to live with everyones impressions of you and her. If you have any issues with the way things are going discuss it with her in private. Never lose your cool or get angry or upset in public, your relationship may never recover from it.
Family and friends: Remember that to a chinese lady family is more important than anything else. If you want to marry this lady you must receive the blessing of the family. We have all read of relationships that have ended because the parents did not accept the man as a good match for their daughter. Once again be polite and respectful both to your lady and her family. Interact with them all including the children. Spending time with the children of Zhens friends earned me much good will and they do appreciate you taking time to spend with the kids as well. If you think things are not going well do not let it show on your face. Never get upset or angry or frustrated. Remember your goal is to earn their trust and acceptance, so do whatever you have to to accomplish the goal but never lie or be deceitful. Treat everyone with respect especially your lady. The family will watch closely how you two interact. If they see genuine love and affection between you your are more likely to succeed. If they see stress and tension they will most likely not give you their aproval. When I met Zhen's sister and artist husband, Zhen and sis went to finish preparing the meal and Husband and I were left to our own devices. I am naturally shy around new people and he was also, but we made an effort to communicate and used the electronic translator to speak. Their were times I thought it was not going well but kept a smile on my face and the conversation light. During the meal he and I shared two bottles of beer and things seemed to just work themsleves out. So much so that they presented me with two original pieces of art that eh had done!! Talk about a nice gesture!! I was quite surprised that the would be so generous to me and of course I thanked them profusely.
When we had dinner with Zhen's brother and family they barely spoke through the whole meal but after it was over my zhen told me things went very well and they saw how well we interacted together and how much in love we obviously were. So it just shows that even when you think things may not be going well, be yourself and only show positive emotion on your face.
You and your lady: This stuff should be obvious but from discussions with some of Zhens friends apparently its not. While chatting with her friends on several occasions it was brought up how well Zhen and I related to each other and the obvious respect I had for her. Her friends told me of men who had written to some of the ladies and were discourteous and often downright rude with their suggestions etc. I was told a story by one of Zhens best friends about a man from the USA who wrote to a lady for over a year. This man worked for teh US or State Govt, had his own place and I think 300 acres of land. The lady was in love with him and he said he was with her. Well after over a year of romance and letters etc he just stopped talking with her. He never went to visit, and eventualy he told her just didnt have time for her anymore. The lady was obviously devasted!!
The point here is to treat your lady with the respect she deserves. If you have no intention of going to visit them why are you writing letters to her. These ladies join Chnlove for one reason only, to find a husband. In all cases they pay to join and in some cases the fees are large. Thats it short and brutal, they want a man to love and be loved by for the rest of their life. If this is not what you are looking for then I say to you get the hell off of chnlove and go play games elswhere.
I usually dont get upset at stuff but the more stories I heard about men who were just messing around the more upset I get. These ladies for the most part are deadly serious about their quest for love so if you are not then seek life elsewhere.
General thought: As has been mentioned elsewhere travelling in China is quite teh experience. From the basic stuff like a taxi ride to the bullet train and bus trips its all so different than here in the west. Taxis are a hoot but they are also small. Squeezing into the back seat of a Jetta is not what I call fun. ALso they very rarely turn on the air conditioning so even when its over 30c and humid and you are sitting in the sun baking tehy dont turn on the ac. That is probably one of my biggest issues with travelling in China no ac.
The buses are also an intersting trip. Many times teh bus would pull ove rso they could try to encourage people on the street to ride on teh bus and pay of course. They cared not if the seats were full they would just pack teh people in and give them little mats to sit on the floor. Quite teh experience I must say. They also often play tv shows on teh buses and these keep everyone entrtained while travelling.
Watching people and vehicles and bycylces both pedal and motorized interact on the streets is also not for the faint of heart. The way they all weave in and out with much horn honking etc is a sight to see yet in all my time in cabs and buses I neve saw a single accident. Here in Edmonton if people drove like in China it would be gridlocked accidents. They just have a knack for judging to the last mm how much room they have between vehicles and that person standing in the middle of the road. All in all very entertaining.
SO anyway this is really getting long so I will stop here. These have been a few of my insights and thoughts of my trip and hopefully their is something in these long posts that will help someone on their trip to see their lady.
This is by far the hardest way to seek true love but I have to say the rewards are truly worth it. At least in my case my Zhen is not only the most beautiful woman in the world, and her inner beauty far outshines her considerable outer beauty, she is also the most romantic affectionate loving caring wife a man could ever ask for. Never in my life have I been so loved and cared for as these last two weeks in China. These two weeks were a perfect extension of our letters which are also full of love and affection and caring.
We two were destined to be together there is no doubt in my mind or hers about this.
I truly wish to all the other brothers out there that you find the same happiness and love that my Zhen and I share. There is nothing in the world more sweet and perfect than the true love shared by two people and Zhen and I are truly blessed to be able to say that we have found or happiness at last.
Zhen and I would like to thank all the brothers who offered us and me the friendship and advice and support that helped make us a reality. Without your help and advice things could easliy have have turned out different so please accept our hearfelt thanks for everything you have done for us.
Also we would like to offer our support and hopes that everyone else who seeks love and happiness this way find the same success and love and joy that we have.
Regards to all
Zhen and Brian
PS More pics on subsequent posts.
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So happy for you both nice one mate.
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So glad you had such an awsome trip. Mine had so few wrinkles as well and I can totally relate to feeling extraordinarily blessed. Hats off to ya Brian.
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Only got one word for your last post mate
..........AWESOME...........
:icon_biggrin::angel:
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Brian,
If your looking for teaching positions, why not contact China Shark Mike, As far as i know, you can still contact him via the PM, and i think Arnold has another means of contacting him too. He's knowledge of teaching positions may only be around the Guangdong areas, but will still be of overall assistance to you i'm sure!!
Best of luck on your endeavours .....
David....
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Wow, that's a great post and will help me a lot with my own trip.
Having been to Hong Kong, I kinda know what to expect with regards the language barrier. But I know I'm still in for severe culture shock. The further I got from the sea front at Hong Kong, the more alien the place became (especially the stuff being sold in the markets!)
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Excellent post Brian, thank you.
Some good tips there that I will note down too :icon_cheesygrin:
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Great post Brian, I'm happy things are so well for you, I hope you can manage until you return as I'm sure you miss her like crazy already. You will see that you will get used to the humid heat and find things terribly cold in Canada in a few years, the body adapts after a few months. I wish you and Zhen a happy future, and please stay on here, your advice is appreciated!
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[attachment=709][attachment=708][attachment=707][attachment=706][attachment=705][attachment=704][attachment=703][attachment=702][attachment=701][attachment=700]Greetings Brothers, Well firstly thanks everyone for the kind words once again. If anything I have written helps even one brother and his lady then its well worth it. I have received much advice and support from this forum so its only fair that I return what I can. Now some pics as promised.
Ok these pics are all from my first couple days in Beijing around the Tiananmen Square area. The silver ball and the building with all the people sitting are actually from a park just outside the Days Inn Forbidden City and runs from the hotel to the Square. The monuments and the different looking light are from a smaller square across the street from T Square. That park by the way is a great place to go for a walk with your lady.
More pics later.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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Brian and Zhen , firstly Brian yes only goes to prove you do your homework and meet your Princess , for you writing the way you do you will have no problems getting employment with Zhen's help, fan out from her home base and that should be easy , also look at the Buckland group website it may give you some clues , but they tend to be further south than Zhen's area I think , but for a lot of us I think that 2010 will be a great year , regards Robert and Ying [ China Doll ]
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Thanks for sharing us the story. Very interesting reading.. I had some flashbacks of my own memories...
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Greetings Brothers,
Well another small update. My Zhen and I have had two webcams since my return to Canada. We cannot say much as her english is barely better than my chinese and my chinese is terrible. However we are both learning and Zhen has her sone to help translate a bit.
We have also sent one emf to each other and I think we must continue that for a while longer. I found out from our translator and also from Zhen that our parting at the airport was a lot harder for her than it seemed at the time. From my view I seemed to lose it the worst between us but apparently she was crying when reading my letter to her at the agency after I arrived inCanada and wrote to her. She also mentions in her letter to me about tears, tears, tears.
So yes this meeting and parting is a cruel thing for both sides, and probably the hardest most painful thing I have ever done in my life. Now in our webcams we are quite content to sit and look at each other and say all the nice lovey words that we know and spoke often to each other when we were together. I could look at her all day long and she knows it too. SHe gets this really cute sexy smile/giggle thing going when I look at her for too long and I love it.
I hope this will keep us close and help to bridge teh gap even a littel bit. She is utterly commited to waiting for my divorce to be final and we have agreed on a marriage date of feb 14 2010. Now all I have to do is find work there and its a done deal.
One other thing from her side. The first day she couldnt get the webcam to work and she was so upset and worried about it she took the day off work to go to the agency and get it fixed up properly before it was time for our call.. She was so worried about missing the webcam it was unbelievable. To me its just another example of her total commitment to us and why I say I am the happiest luckiest guy that ever lived. To be loved by someone this much is absolutly the best thing ever in my life and I do love her so.
So anyway now the long dull boring wait is on. I only need to find one teaching gig in all of china and my divorce papaers and certificate of single and thats it Marriage and the rest of our lives together. Once I find a job there I am moving all my effects to my sister who will look after everything for me until we return in 3 or 4 years.
I still have many pictures I can post so if there is interest let me know and I will post more.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
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A wonderful story Brian, sounds like you struck gold the day you started writing to your lovely Zhen (she doesn't have any cute sisters by any chance? :P ,just kidding!!)
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Awesome posts Brian. I'm just so incredibly happy for you guys. Seems like we've had a good year for love over all. And yes! More pictures are always welcome. I can't get enough of 'em!
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Great goings Brian, really happy for you. Just one word of caution. Coming here and not knowing the language well enough to get around by yourself is very daunting. After spending about two months here, I have found that it is not as easy as one would think. I can go to certain places but just going out presents a problem. Not everyone can read the translator and understand it. So without it written down by her, i am sort of stuck. Also the pronunciation is very important. If not done right, they guess and ask you then you guess back and it becomes like a who's on first scenario. Anyway that is just something to consider.
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Another successful Canadian. Brian, you have kept the trend up! Great story. When you are feeling lonely, or when you need to talk about anything, the brotherhood is here for you. Some days are easier than others...but when the going gets tough, we are here.
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Greetings Brothers,
Many thanks for the kind words. I know the next few months are going to be hell but then we have such a fantastic group of guys here and the support is unbelievable. I know that Zhen and I can work our way to be together and the help of you guys makes it all easier. So we both thank you for everything you have said and given to us.
Jimb as for the getting around thing yea I can relate to that. Every time we went somewhere in Beijing or Handan we went by cab and I had no clue where we were going or how to get back. I am working on a new learn chinese program I bought in china. It teaches the words and also the tones and pronunciation and includes reading speaking and hearing the proper way to say things. Its early days yet but I have hopes that it will be better than the basic touristy programs I had before I left. For those interested its called Follow me Chinese and takes you through beginner medium and senior. The website for the company is www.languagex.com.cn. I had a demo of it in the store by the sales clerk and she likened it to the roseta stone ones so I hope its better than the stuff I already had.
Still every word I learn is a step forward. Zhen and I are doing the learn a phrase or short sentence each day on our daily webcams so there is that to help also.
Its not going to be easy for sure but my next trip to china is the one we marry on and I will stay there with her until I can bring her to Canada after her son finishes high school. My chinese and hers and RuiChens english should be well progressed by living together after we marry for a few years before coming here.
So anway thats our plan subject of course first to the divorce laws and the judge here in canada then finding and accepting a teaching gig in China ( already have that search started), then getting there and marrying Zhen, then the long and painfull immigration process. But at least for the last one we will be together.
Regards to all.
Zhen and Brian
PS I will attach a few more pics in a seperate post.
[attachment=736][attachment=737][attachment=738][attachment=739][attachment=740][attachment=741][attachment=742][attachment=743][attachment=744]
Greetings Brothers,
As promised more pics. hmm kinda screwy but ok.
Pic 43 is one of the ancient entrance gates into Beijing.
Pic 45 another view of same gate.
Pic 53 is a pic of the Beijing train station
Pic 58 is the entry arch to a new shopping area they are building.
Pic 72 is in front of a teahouse in the new shopping area, and of course the beautiful Zhen
Pic 77 is the plaque describing the pic with Zhen and I sitting at a rock
Pic 79 is the rock the plaque is describing.
Pic 82 is the entrance to the forbidden city
Pic 85 an entry to the next progression inside the forbidden city.
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It is some great news to read your story, Brian. I'm very happy for you and Zhen :)
I wish all the process about the divorce will be done "easily" and the best way it can be done.
Thanks again for the sharing of your story with many pictures from your trip. Keep it on goin' :)
Go on with chinese learning, too, for sure, it's quite important :)
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Well done and thanks for the pictures.
Incidentally, if you have some time available before moving to China then you might want to investigate courses for teaching english as a foreign language. If you have some formal training you will stand out from the other 100's of people trying to do the same. I work at a Uni and they run all kinds of courses - I know they run a 1 year MSc but I think you can get some sort of certificate in much less time. I might investigate this in future should me and my lady decide to move to Asia.