China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: shaun on November 17, 2009, 11:17:47 pm
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Well many of you know I have been talking about the breakup with Pinky on everyone else's thread and all of the other related issues. If I had know it would have been this long and drawn out I would have started this thread earlier.
I gave up on chnlove.com because they supported an agency whose translator was scamming me. I sort of understand in that chnlove felt they would loose their precious EMF credit income but they need to realize that it will get there eventually.
So lo and behold I moved to cherryblossoms.com. I selected several women and began writing them. It narrowed to 5 pretty quick and it looks like it may be down to 2. One of them is at P218, the agency that stuck it to me and I am being pretty frank and open with her. She knows about the scam and how I feel about the translators there. I have been completely open with her and she has come back for more so far. We'll see.
But the other woman is quite remarkable and appears she will be the final one I will continue with. Her name is Peggy. I guess I have an infinity for women with a name that starts with P. She is very pleasing to the eye and has got quite a personality. Her smile is what gets me the most. She lives in Guangzhou in the Guangdong province I think. My puzzlement on this is because she always talk about Shenzhen and wants us to live there.
We are web-camming or chatting twice a day and she speak some English, types it a lot better. Tonight she got brave and wanted to turn on the speakers and talk but for some reason my computer would not take the phone call. She could claim 3 languages; Mandarin, Cantonese and English. She apologizes for her poor English and I tell her she puts me to shame because I know 3 words of Mandarin.
It appears we are quite compatible and I am becoming very..., uh... that would be extremely quite possibly totally fond of her.
It just feels right. I found myself seriously considering moving there and giving it a go today. But logic kicks in and says, "woah boy your moving too fast." There are not communication barriers except language and we are getting past that one pretty quick. I can tell when she doesn't get what I typed.
Tonight we spent 45 minutes talking about hot dogs. It was what I had for supper. It was quite comical in that I expected her to ask what breed of dog. She asked what kind of hot dog. After seeing her eyebrows furrow many times and her looks of puzzlement we got to a long pink skinny sausage type tube filled with a mix of chicken and pork in a long breaded bun with mustard on it that tastes good but is not good for you. She responded yes that her American brother in law had treated them to one before. That was what she had bee trying to tell me from the beginning. I slapped my forehead and we both had quite a laugh about it.
Anyway, her mother and brothers are already good with America husbands. Her sister and brother in law live in Utah and will be in China this evening and I will meet them tomorrow. So Peggy sent me to bed to get plenty of rest so that I can meet them and we can talk tomorrow.
Am I hooked or what? I mean we haven't even met face to face and twice tonight she told me to go to bed and get some sleep.
Her Chinese name is Xinj Iao Zhu. I would like to call her Zhu as in Zhu Zhu's petals but I'll wait for a while. So who can give the movie name and lead actor that say's "Zhu Zhu's petals?" Got any takers?
Shaun
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It's a Wonderful Life - Jimmy Stewart
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Alright Vince, I concede you do know everything. I thought that would be deep in the woods or did you find it on the internet?
Shaun
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He put the peddles in his pocket, seeing that movie a billion times how could one forget?
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It is one of my favorite movies.
OK as some of you said on "Shopping for my lady..." I should get her the heater and be ready to be chewed out. I have always operated under the principal that a man should make her mad every now and then just to make up. Unfortunately I am here and she is there. :dodgy:
So, I suppose the eletricity there is 220v 50~. Correct? Then the next question is where is a good place to buy. I will check ebay but many places do not ship to China. Then I will have to get her address. She will want to know why and her birthday is not until June.
There is the chance that she may not remember that we talked about it last night as her sister and brother in law arrived a couple of hours ago. She was upset before they arrived because she said I looked angry. I didn't sleep well and took 1/2 of a sleeping pill midway through the night so I was still a little groggy. So I sat up a little more and forced a smile and she was happy. The things we do. :dodgy: Anyway I met them, everyone was happy and they were off to supper.
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Now Shaun , you could be real sneaky , talk to brother inlaw somehow without Peggy knowing your intentions as maybe between the 2 of you you could work something out even if you put the us$ into his account and they went out as a suprise over there and bought it , just a thought , regards Ying and Robert .
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Shen Zhen is about an hour drive from Guongzhou City. They're in the same province.
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you know Shaun, some of these women? if she has the heater might not even use it for they think the electric bill will be high? When talking about a A/C unit for my lady. She couldn't sleep with the hot weather (months ago). I told her the next best thing, how to make a poor mans A/C.
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Vince is right, she wont use the heater, the electricity is too expensive and besides in Guangdong they dont need heaters...
In Sunny's apartment they left the windows open and just wore more clothes despite the fact it was only around 10c indoors. I did debate buying them a heater but I am 100% sure that they would think me soft in the head if I did and it would only get used the one time I was there and the windows would remain open...because in Guangdong they don't need heaters...
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Well, maybe the best thing to do is go there. I am getting a 50/50 response from you guys but the overall message is GO TO CHINA. Yes Maxx I know what you would say.
Robert, your sneaky, I like that. If I can get the brother in law alone on the web I will speak with him about it. They are going to be there 3 weeks. If he has a paypal account it could happen as we speak. Sneaky. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cool:
Vince, a wet towel in the window or a box and a fan?
I told her last night that if I could go there now I would just to help keep her warm. She smiled. That made me happy. She told me twice once last night and once this morning that they do not need heaters in Guangdong province.
Peggy asked me to come live there last night. I mentioned teaching English or exporting goods from China to America. She said export and her brother in law would help me learn. He is American. So then I asked her how much money would it take for 2 people to live in Shenzhen. She said around 50,000RMB. That is less that $10,000US. Does anyone know? Is it high - low; Extravagant - Slumming?
Jim, I did smile after she said I looked angry. She smiled and said Hi Shaun. So I kept it on my face. I told her I was happy but my face forgot to show it.
Shaun
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Vince, a wet towel in the window or a box and a fan?
You get some jugs (plastic soda bottles will do) fill with water and freeze. After frozen put them in front of a fan in the room. :icon_cool:
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Vince is right, she wont use the heater, the electricity is too expensive and besides in Guangdong they dont need heaters...
In Sunny's apartment they left the windows open and just wore more clothes despite the fact it was only around 10c indoors. I did debate buying them a heater but I am 100% sure that they would think me soft in the head if I did and it would only get used the one time I was there and the windows would remain open...because in Guangdong they don't need heaters...
Let them think i'm soft in the head. Guangdong or not i've been out and bought heaters and thankful I am for them. I am more than happy to put them away and wait for the next cold spell in 20 odd years time when I am 80.
Willy
PS the weather has turned warmer again today - no need for heaters but I'm ready - BOY AM I READY for the next cold spell.
So then I asked her how much money would it take for 2 people to live in Shenzhen. She said around 50,000RMB. That is less that $10,000US. Does anyone know? Is it high - low; Extravagant - Slumming?
Shaun
Shaun if she is talking about 4,500 rmb a month that is more than enough. At the moment I am bringing in about 14,000 rmb a month with various activities on the internet. And that is more than enough to give us a good middle class living and save at least 6 -8000rmb a month.
You can live ok on 4000rmb a month but you can live very well on 6000rmb a month. The average wage in Guangdong is only about 1000rmb a month University professors and doctors nearing retirement age both earn between 6500 and 7000 rmb a month.
Do not let me influence you but I cannot live this well in the UK on what I bring in and I would not live anywhere else.
Willy
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Willy,
Thank you. This will help in future decisions. If I were collecting social security right now it would be enough. Unfortunately by the time I am 62.5 they say it will be bankrupt.
Shaun
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Haha .. Shaun , that is exactly what I was going to retire on in China . Hopefully the House prices will go back some up by then and have a little to take with me on top of that . So we now have two set's of finger's crossed .
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Let me share a little with all of you about visiting with your sweetheart on the web cam. It is at best difficult because of the language barrier unless her English is great your Chinese is great. Peggy does very well but we be bogged down with some of the most simple words and concepts in my mind.
Examples: Describe a hot dog or a turkey or kicking the subject around a little. Humor and flexibility is in order for these conversations.
Our set time to talk this evening was at 8:00pm eastern time. About 7:00pm I get a text from my son that he will be home in 1 hour and I would need to pick him up. Since you brought him up I need to be a proud papa and tell you that as of today he enlisted into the US Air Force and is now waiting for a job assignment. They say it make 4 months before he goes to basic training. Yesterday we were at the recruiters office and they checked is papers for enlistment. He listed 3 jobs. Pilot, Fire Fighter, or EOC. I said "EOC? Are you out of your freaking mind?" The recruiter asked him if he knew what it was. He said "bomb dismantling." Guys that is LIVE bomb dismantling. They showed him a video; very graphic. Needless to say it is now off his list.
Back on subject; Peggy and I have been trying to used the voice option on yahoo and it has not been working so I asked mpo Mike if he could help me figure it out online. He agreed. So I rush home with my son and the ex in tow. We go in the house and talk a little. I run her out of the house and fire up my computer. It's 8:30pm and she is out there waiting. Mike is out there too and he invites me to chat to see if we can figure this out. So I think, well maybe I can talk to the both of them at the same time and say sure. I am trying to send a message to Peggy asking her to wait and I would be there in a little while. I said Mike and I are working on yahoo so we can talk.
Then Peggy comes on and invites me. Well, I was not about to turn her away so I say sure I am super duper texting man. I can talk to 2 people at the same time. Well it isn't working to well and I am asking Mike to wait a second then I m asking Peggy to wait and I am afraid I will send the wrong message to Peggy. I am thinking I am wasting Mike's time and telling him what is happening as it happens. His command of English is much better than Peggy's. So finally I tell Peggy that Mike and I are working on yahoo and I may have to not talk with her occasionally. She says she will go shopping and come back later. I said OK and I close her out. So I think. Mike activates the voice option and it works fine so I figure the problem is with Peggy's computer. Mike and I had not talked in a while so we started catching up and I was telling him about how remarkable my relationship with Peggy is.
I look down at the bottom of my screen and see that two people are watching the broadcast of my picture. I tell Mike that maybe Peggy left her computer on and my picture was on her screen while she was shopping. A couple of minutes later a message window pops up and it is Peggy and she says, "Shaun, who are you talking to. Do you have another girlfriend?" I said crap and explained to Mike what she said. I asked Mike to hold on for a minute. I tried to explain for the second or third time what Mike and I were doing. She said, "I think you have more than one girlfriend and I can see you talking to her." My heart sank and I said, "NO that isn't it. It is my friend Mike."
Guys I am really tired and need to get some sleep as I need to get up in 4 hours. I will tell the rest a little later in the morning. Sorry. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun , lesson learned , never, but never create doubt in a Chinese ladies mind , and if Peggy has a translating software on her Yahoo do not try and confuse your discussions , use simple sentences and let her translate any words that she does not understand , if you have her phone number try buying a phone card costs very little to phone her from your landline and no dropouts , regards Ying and Robert .
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Sorry about that. This wasn't for suspense I just had to sleep.
Peggy was sure I was talking with a girl so I said. "Do you want me to turn web cam around so you can see my screen?" She said, "Yes." So I told Mike and then turned cam. He waved at her. Peggy said "Sorry." I said bye to Mike and then asked Peggy to turn on her web cam. She did. What I didn't know was that not only was Peggy there but her sister and brother in-law from Utah and her mother were there too looking at me on screen talking and laughing with Mike. They all thought I was talking to another woman. I felt horrible. I knew Peggy was loosing face with her family big time. Her sister got on and talked with me a little. Her English is very good. So much so I had to answer several questions. Then she finally said, "You are a good man, good enough for my sister." Whew! She also said that I am all Peggy talks about and that she has never seen Peggy this excited about a man. She said Peggy really loves you. Then she said to forget about what happened.
Her husband got on the computer and said 2 things. First was good save. Then he said, "Marry this woman. You will be a lucky man and will never regret it. She is a very good woman." Then they left and Peggy and I talked for another hour.
Guys, be careful when you web cam and if you do something that appears wrong show her immediately. Apologize Apologize Apologize even though you did nothing wrong. Just be smart about what you are doing to avoid causing doubt.
Good luck all.
Shaun
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One of my first lady friends, saw me typing then when I quit for a second then started again she thought I was also talking with another woman of course this one was so jealous that i had to get rid of her. However, it just goes to show to be careful. Shaun is correct.
Good going Shaun.
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Shaun , you know how to make a Man sweat ! Wow .. glad you pulled yourself out of that one in one piece .
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Shaun....
Just as well you don't have a laptop with built in cam, .... you would have been well and truly stumped then mate ...hahaha!! ... Well not really, you could have tried bringing her in to a conference call between you Mike and Peggy...lol!!
Well saved anyway...as the brother-in-law said!! ..lol!
David......
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By the way, Beijing is a lot more expensive to live in.
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Shaun....
Just as well you don't have a laptop with built in cam, .... you would have been well and truly stumped then mate ...hahaha!! ... Well not really, you could have tried bringing her in to a conference call between you Mike and Peggy...lol!!
Well saved anyway...as the brother-in-law said!! ..lol!
David......
David,
Until last night I was really mad that my laptop didn't have a built in one. I have to fumble with the external a lot but it was worth the money last night. She keeps wanting me to show her different rooms in the house. I tell her that I am selling it to get a smaller place. 4 bedroom with 1850 sqft is to much for one person. I show her a couple of rooms this morning and she said I am untidy and need a wife. :icon_cheesygrin: I think she would have said that no matter how the house looked.
Shaun
By the way, Beijing is a lot more expensive to live in.
Thanks Jim. I am into water so I think I would rather live near the ocean and she wants to stay in Shenzhen. I am about saving money too. I still have to sort that out in my mind. I will have enough Social Security income but I am 54 and would have to wait until I am 62 1/2. I am not really sure I want to stay there either. Hmmmmm........
Shaun
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Thanks Jim. I am into water so I think I would rather live near the ocean and she wants to stay in Shenzhen. I am about saving money too. I still have to sort that out in my mind. I will have enough Social Security income but I am 54 and would have to wait until I am 62 1/2. I am not really sure I want to stay there either. Hmmmmm........
I would dearly suggest you go and stay for a while before making the decision to move. A couple of guys have done it and so far it is working for them. But, I could not go there and live for a long time. Qingqing was onto me last night about that. She of course wants to stay in China. With mama and me. if we move here and she stays she loses her meal ticket, that is why she wants me to move there. I did tell Mrs. Burk that we would live part time in China, probably in Wuhan near her relatives. but that is for a short period of time, no more than 3 months a year.
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Jim , that feels more than fair to me . After all , did your Wife not look for a foreign Husband in the first place . So this can not come as a surprise to anyone , including Qingqing . Meal ticket's are excepted all around the world the same ... are they not ? :icon_cheesygrin:
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Thanks Jim. I am into water so I think I would rather live near the ocean and she wants to stay in Shenzhen.
I would dearly suggest you go and stay for a while before making the decision to move. A couple of guys have done it and so far it is working for them. But, I could not go there and live for a long time. Qingqing was onto me last night about that. She of course wants to stay in China. With mama and me. if we move here and she stays she loses her meal ticket, that is why she wants me to move there. I did tell Mrs. Burk that we would live part time in China, probably in Wuhan near her relatives. but that is for a short period of time, no more than 3 months a year.
Jim,
You are right in what you say about testing it first. I am watching to see how the others do as I have watched your postings about your stay. I am apprehensive to say the least. With the economy the way it is I feel I am spinning my wheels and may slowly be losing ground with my store. One idea I am considering is spending a year there while waiting for a visa and develop an export business to the US. I already have interested customers in the US and a trusted friend to handle the this side while I am there.
I am looking at all issues and would covet any observations you or others might have.
Arnold your input was meant for Jim but helpful to me too.
Thanks,
Shaun
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Shaun , procrastinating will not help , every one who goes to the Middle Kingdom has their eyes opened , whether they be from any country or a regular traveler to other countries , the openness of the country and its people make a farce of what we assume , so check out for when you can go look ,book your flight , etc , and then make your own decisions based upon your then knowledge , you have jumped well past any lead up fluff , just as Ying and I did , and you also have the added advantage of family members that are USA based , so work out your holidays and go , the early bird catches the worms , others are left to starve , regards Ying and Robert .
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So Shaun I agree with Robert.What are you waiting for?Does the invitation need to be engraved?
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One more brother in Guangdong will be great.
Willy
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Guys,
There are two issues that hold me back from going right now. One I cannot talk about yet and the other is finances. And the finances are influenced by the other issue. Today I passed by a loan company and I sat there staring at it for a few minutes. If only. I thought about borrowing the money and once the other issues were settled pay it off but I really hate to do it. I can't believe that I am actually considering selling my boat and my coveted 1971 Volkswagen Super Bettle that I am restoring just to go. These are two of my most prized possessions. But we are talking about love for a lifetime. I must act soon and I know it. I would say you have no idea how this woman is but I bet you do Maxx, Arnold, Willy and the others who have seen and settled.
I am putting a for sale sign on my store tomorrow with a high price tag to test the waters a little. It will be interesting to see what happens.
But I am hearing all of you and I do not disagree. Willy, if I wind up moving there you would be within the top 10 of people I would want to meet right away. Peggy of course is first then her mother and family. I would sell my stock in Viagra but with Rob just moving there I would miss great financial opportunity. :icon_cheesygrin: But truthfully it would be an honor to meet you and hang out a little, well for me a lot but I do not want to brag. :icon_cheesygrin:
Guys all I can say is keep on pushing me because I have been know to talk myself out of things I should have gone for.
Shaun
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Guys,
There are two issues that hold me back from going right now. One I cannot talk about yet and the other is finances. And the finances are influenced by the other issue. Today I passed by a loan company and I sat there staring at it for a few minutes. If only. I thought about borrowing the money and once the other issues were settled pay it off but I really hate to do it. I can't believe that I am actually considering selling my boat and my coveted 1971 Volkswagen Super Bettle that I am restoring just to go. These are two of my most prized possessions. But we are talking about love for a lifetime. I must act soon and I know it. I would say you have no idea how this woman is but I bet you do Maxx, Arnold, Willy and the others who have seen and settled.
I am putting a for sale sign on my store tomorrow with a high price tag to test the waters a little. It will be interesting to see what happens.
But I am hearing all of you and I do not disagree. Willy, if I wind up moving there you would be within the top 10 of people I would want to meet right away. Peggy of course is first then her mother and family. I would sell my stock in Viagra but with Rob just moving there I would miss great financial opportunity. :icon_cheesygrin: But truthfully it would be an honor to meet you and hang out a little, well for me a lot but I do not want to brag. :icon_cheesygrin:
Guys all I can say is keep on pushing me because I have been know to talk myself out of things I should have gone for.
Shaun
Shaun
To be perfectly honest with you...And I am only saying this a s a brother...Only you can decide what's right for you!!!
However, I know this may not apply, BUT I came I saw and hopefully I will conquer.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon This to me was a life changing decision, (you know my sorry tale).:@ There is one thing I will say...I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY MIND NOW, I LOVE IT HERE and I have only been here nearly a week now. I JUST hope nothing goes wrong!!! It was the best decision I have ever made...BUT that's ME:icon_biggrin:
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Shaun
To be perfectly honest with you...And I am only saying this a s a brother...Only you can decide what's right for you!!!
However, I know this may not apply, BUT I came I saw and hopefully I will conquer.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon This to me was a life changing decision, (you know my sorry tale).:@ There is one thing I will say...I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY MIND NOW, I LOVE IT HERE and I have only been here nearly a week now. I JUST hope nothing goes wrong!!! It was the best decision I have ever made...BUT that's ME:icon_biggrin:
Rob,
Thank you for your kind words. Bro!!! :icon_biggrin: But my head is hard enough that I will do only what is right as I see it. The difference her is that I really like input from others. I like looking an situations from different perspectives. Once I have a few perspective I like to talk through them and into the possible future. This drove my ex nuts. I would tell her that I am sounding this out that is all. But it helps me in making decisions. People who do not know me well if I mistakenly sound something out to them will say I am wishy washy or double minded. But my closest of friends understand what I am doing and will talk with me about it.
I am at 3 different points right now. 1. Go see her and come back home. 2. Go see her, if all is good marry her and stay there until she gets her visa. (This is the one I am leaning toward right now.) 3. Move to China just like you did.
But I am open and watching and trying to put order to all of this data in my mind. Rob you are one of the ones I am watching. But I guess you know that already.
Shaun
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Greetings Brothers,
Well Shaun you know my story so here is a brief undate. In 5 days I will have been here a full month. So far everything is going at least as well as I had hoped.
I have the love of my life at my side, our apartment is certainly big enough and is paid for by the school. I have discovered that I have some skill as a teacher and that I am enjoying it. Several students have told me that I am a good teacher and that my voice is easy to listen to with no accent. My boss has also told me I am good and the students tell her I am popular. Also my job pays a bit better than the average i saw before I arrived.
So all in all I have managed to make the leap of faith and not only land on my feet but came up smelling like roses and running full speed ahead. ( hows that for piling a bunch of metaphors into one huh?)
I find the people to be friendly and helpfull and the students have a genuine thirst for almost any knowlede you can share with them. They love to learn. Now what more can a teacher ask for?
Anyway the point is I am having the time of my life and have no regrets at all about moving here. Every issue I have encountered either Zhen has come up with the fix or we have worked it out together. So all in all life is good for me in China.
So if you have half a mind to come to china thats all you need. That and a plane ticket of course. If you can swing the finances its not only a great way to cement things with your lady but you most certainly will learn a new appreciation for china and its people that all the posts on every forum on the net can never give you. To see is to believe.
I honestly think if people saw the way the chinese live and work ,the conditions, the food, the utilities, the apartments, and yet at the same time the happiness the friendliness and the great work ethic they have you would truly question many things about life at home. These people aas a rule find happiness in almost every situation and even the lowest paid worker gives tehir all everyday at work. Can we from the west truly say the same?
So to close Shaun if you can possibly swing the trip I think it could well be one of the best decisions you will ever make, at least until you propose to that lady of yours.
Sincerely,
Zhen and Brian
PS as for the language, the more I am around Zhen the more language I pick up. Also Zhen will often speak to me in chinese and although I do not know the words I understand what she means/wants. My vocabulary is growing just by association. Also keep in mind my actual chinese is very limited as is Zhens english yet we live together and rarely resort to the translator.
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Brian,
Thanks for the encouragement. You are another one I am watching to see how it is going. I would like to teach but Peggy really does not want me to. She wants to work with me opening an export business. She ran a soft drink distributors warehouse in Guangzhou and retired because she wanted to run her own business. So now she says she is waiting for me to get there and start one. That is a heavy load for me mentally but I have been truthful in telling her that I am not clear what I am wanting to do as far as living there or here. She says she understands and will wait for my decision. That to me is remarkable. You would not find that in an American woman. So I am moving as quick as I am comfortable with.
Shaun
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Wow Shaun, I can really tell that I have not been following this form as close lately. Just finished reading this thread and I can say I am impressed. From the one person I thought as quite methodical and learned, I can feel the hidden energy of a youthful soul that wishes to make a grand gesture to the cosmos. Your gesture also shows the hidden wisdom that yes, prized possesions maybe, but sometimes a most treasured adventure requires an investment indeed.
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Shaun, I don't know if this will help but in my younger years I sold my boat and bought my first car. I thought I would get another boat someday? I'm still waiting on that? I sold my 71 Mustang race car that was built by the best available and me. Fastest car you would have seen on the street. I sold it to get married (#2). I always said I should have kept the car and dumped her? But life went on. If I had those things to sell now? for my china girl, I would in a instant. The plan right now is to get a new place to live, a newer van and go to China. Later what toys I want I will get.
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Wow Shaun, I can really tell that I have not been following this form as close lately. Just finished reading this thread and I can say I am impressed. From the one person I thought as quite methodical and learned, I can feel the hidden energy of a youthful soul that wishes to make a grand gesture to the cosmos. Your gesture also shows the hidden wisdom that yes, priced possesions maybe, but sometimes a most treasured adventure requires an investment indeed.
Ronald,
I am humbled by your words. Thank you! Coming from you means a lot to me. I have alway aspired to write like a man by the name of John Eades who is not as well known as he should be but when you began writing about your most recent trip to China you became a real inspiration to me with your writing skills and you are placed right next to Mr. Eades as the two people I would like to write like.
Vince and Mike,
Thank you for saying what you did. I have and still struggle with the idea of selling some of my most prized possesions and you have made me realize that I am not along on this subject and that it is a worthwhile sacrifice to make. What price are we willing to pay for true love? Today I have been thinking how utterly insane it is to struggle over an object that you derive satisfaction with over a human being Especially one so beautiful, intelligent, and full of love to give back. This next week since I am off again, the real reason to be a government employee, clean and prepare the items to be sold. They can always be replaced at a later date.
Rob and Brian, Thank you for your kind words.
Jim, What can I say? Never has a butt said fewer word that gets to the heart of the solution. And it didn't even smell! :icon_cheesygrin:
Thanks men,
Shaun
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Shaun, I am now approaching six months here. Yes there has been a lot of things that I could not bring here with me but have I missed those things. Not one bit. My life is now set in China. I do not need all the trappings that I had in the UK.
I am happier than I have ever been. I am content to a level that I never thought was possible. I am being treated like I was the King of England. I wake up early every morning and think what new delight will I see today? Never what am I going to do today.
Ok living here is not to everyones liking. But maybe I am of a different outlook in life. I have found someone younger than myself who has a great many more reasons for wanting to stay in China than I have for wanting to stay in the UK.
Personally I would not want to put someone through the pain of leaving all their loved ones thousands of miles away. If a women has already gone through a divorce then that is a big thing in China for a women to be left high and dry and I would imagine it will be more of an upheaval for her to leave here than for me to leave the UK.
Exporting business are welcome here and there are a lot of opportunities for good English speakers in business. Why do you think there are so many calls for English teachers.
In the end the decision will be yours but for me it was the best decison that I have ever made in all my sixty years.
Willy
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Willy,
Thank you. It is a tough decision to make. Peggy is 46. She has 2 children and 1 grandchild. They all live there in Shenzhen. She has a younger sister who lives in Utah. My children are 24, 22, and 19. The two older ones are finishing school in May and will go out into the work force. The 22 year old has boy chasing her all over the place but her standards are high. She is not a typical American female. The oldest is a typical American female. Both will find husbands soon and settle down. They wanted to finish school soon. This means I will be having grandchildren in the future. My mother is 74 and even though she acts 40 - 50 she is beginning to slow down a little. Being the oldest child and having only one sister whose only son has Autism and Epilepsy she will not be able to take care of my mother if she gets sick.
Either way the decision is not easy. So the compromise is the export business and living 6 and 6. There is another possibility, her sister lives in Utah. Is there a way Peggy could come to the US to see her sister for say 90 days. While she is here she gets married and she gets her visa?
On another note. I talked with Peggy for 3 hours tonight. About the middle conversation I said something and she broke down and cried for quite a while. It was kind of a relief and joyful cry but she was kid of embarrassed. She is learning English on her own and her sister told her she needed to go to college and learn English or I would grow weary and leave her. She said my sister said you will not like me. It kind of angered me. But I said, "Listen to me closely. I LIKE YOU I LIKE YOU I LIKE YOU I LIKE YOU." I also told her that her English skills would improve but it did not bother me at all. Then I said I would not leave because your English was not bad. She broke bow and started crying. Later she said she was grateful and now completely comfortable with me. She used another word for comfortable.
Generally I do not handle women crying very well. I wont go into details right now but I did pretty well with it. I think she has made her decision.
Happy as a lark. May have to put a photo on here.
Shaun
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There is another possibility, her sister lives in Utah. Is there a way Peggy could come to the US to see her sister for say 90 days. While she is here she gets married and she gets her visa?
NO! NO! NO! First the 90 day visa is the fiancée visa. Second if she did get a visa to travel here and you married that's a big problem. That is why they are so careful giving this visa out. If they get a notion that there is a relationship about they pull the visa.
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Happy as a lark. May have to put a photo on here.
Shaun
MAY have to put a photo...MAY ???
No way mate...GOTTA put a photo :):):)
David
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Shaun
When I met my present lady she had no English whatsoever. Not even the usual counting 1 - 10. But three months later we are still together and still as happy as we first was. We get by. She has picked up a lot of English and I a bit of Chinese but admit I do not put in the effort as she does.
When we hit on a problem that neither of us knows the answer to then we dive for the translator.
Maybe I have a lot of patience - she certainly has with me - so I think the answer is consideration for each other.
Willy
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Vince, I was hoping there was some kind of dispensation since Peggy already has a sister living here. Kind of a two fer deal.
David E and Mike, Photos, I don't have no stinking photos! Whose idea was that? No really, she doesn't even have a photo shopped picture available. Imagine?
Willy, I image you are the kind of man who does not need to know the language wherever you are. You just have a way with people.
Shaun
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Scott,
Thanks for your comments. Peggy lives in Shenzhen.
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Shaun,
She is very, very nice. She would not need a second thought from me but as you say there is a lot for you to consider before committing your self to China.
By the way is her other name Soo' it is just i have the Buddy Holly song in mind 'Peggy Soo, My Peggy Soooooo etc etc.
Just wondering if they are flowers on her shorts?
I loved meeting women in flowering clothes - it made things much easier to tell them that I was allergic to flower pollen and they should take them off for my health sake!!!!!
Willy
PS Why can I no longer put smilies into my postings?
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Willy, Willy, Wily,
You are looking a little too close to her shorts. Yes they are flowers and I am the bee right next to them protecting them from dirty old men like you. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Thank you for telling me about your allergy to pollen, when WE meet you I will make sure she is wearing something else to prevent your allergies from being aggrivated. Wouldn't want to see you have a fit. You know allergies to pollen is a sided effect to overdosing on Viagra. :icon_cheesygrin:
I just spent 4 1/2 hours talking with her and her sister. It is really tempting to go. All I can say is, What a woman.
Peggy Soo? I have not thought of that one. I'll have to work it up since I am a guitar player and singer. Puh Puh Puh Peggy Sue my Peggy Sue... :icon_cool:
Shaun
PS Because you looked a little too close to her flowers. You lost the smiles just in time for Ronan to get back.
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Very nice looking lady Shaunie boy:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::angel:
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Great looking woman, Shaun!
Shaun, the love of a good woman is way better than a boat or a classic car, or any other material thing. Scott
mmmmmm....love of a good woman.....Aston Martin DB9 Vantage....??
Let me think about that for a while :):):)
David
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Shaun,
i sold everything and came to Guangzhou to be with my wife. I dont regret it one bit.
I thought heavily about this and did it and couldnt be happier. What part of Guangzhou
does Peggy live in? Maybe she would like to go to dinner with my wife and i. I think that
if your prospects in the USA arent really that good then make the move. I was in executive
management all my life and my prospects were dim as companies didnt want to pay me and the
interviews i went on i was always told im overqualified and would not be happy with the salary or
the position so i made this move. We plan on being here till i recieve my social security and i
am like you 53 so i will be here for a while. And guangzhou and shenzhen are good places to live
if and when your tired of chinese food there are enough places to eat something from home.
and quite a few import markets in guangzhou that sell things like coffee that i really needed
because i like my coffee at home. anyway give it some thought and good luck.
Ted
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Ted,
Peggy lives in Shenzhen. She retired from a soft drink company in Guangzhou and moved to be closer to her family. This confused me at first, because blossoms.com listed her in Guangzhou, so I got it straight this weekend. Guangzhou is not far from Shenzhen as you already know and Peggy has a daughter that lives in Shaogaun. Since she has a granddaughter there I imagine she/we will pass through Guangzhou often.
I will mention it to her and see when she travels through there.
I find myself with mixed emotions about moving or staying. I have two daughters who will graduate in May one with a BS in Psychology and the other with a Phd in Physical Therapy. They both live here and I imagine with a few short years will be having babies. The one an only reason a person should have children... to have grandchildren. The other reason is that in 1 year I could get an early retirement from my current employment as pitiful as the retirement will be, with current standards of living will help a lot in China.
But then I weigh it against the thought of marrying her and coming back home. I can't imagine listening to the others how I could endure such a length of time away from her. It has only been a few of weeks and this is all so sudden and fast. I am trying to slow down a little but as I am writing this I see the clock and in 30 minutes to 1 hour she and i will be talking. My pulse is already beginning to beat a little faster. In my pre-Christian days I didn't get this excited about getting... well you know.
Anyway I am trying to take my time and sort through all of this.
Shaun
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That's all the more reason to buy her a heater...she is now "your Lady" :):):)
So you gonna get ripped for it.....but you know she doesn't really mean it...its just for show...and bloody nice it is too...never get that from a WW...she would say..."it's the wrong colour/brand/wattage/and the moon is in the west...or some such put-down :):)
David
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Shaun,
your right it is a big decision to make that might not be right for
everyone. i am happy i made the decision i made and i talk with my
kids and grandkids over the net. i might ivest in a business here or maybe
just teach to get some money to get by with so i dont have to take out of the bank.
anyway let Peggy know of my offer as Sisi and i would very much enjoy
going to dinner with her. i ould also pick her brain on the soft drink
company she had here. retail is what i did for 30 years with 2 oil companies
and 12 years with circle k as a division manager in charge of 325 stores.
best wishes from Sisi and I to the both of you.
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Hi all,
Well I have not spent a lot time here the past couple of days. Been talking with Peggy. Up to 8 hours a day. 4 in the morning and 4 late at night. It has been worth while but my butt and back are paying for it.
I talked with her American brother in law this morning. I wanted to talk about a heater. Well, He wanted to ask me a lot of questions about my intent. He and his wife are staying with Peggy while they are there and it appears that Peggy tells them everything. I mean everything. Man I have never been on the hot seat like that before. He really cares for Peggy and wants to make sure I am a stand up guy. He wanted to know if I would get tired of her and dump her and when was I going there. Any way I never got to ask him what I wanted to ask so I guess I will try again in a few days.
Ted, I was in the oil business and retired from it. I was what you would call a doodle bugger. You know what that is? I was going to tell her about getting in touch with you but as soon as the brother in law got on all my plans went out the window.
When Peggy got back on we chatted a little and then we went into a lot of questions again. What was you wife like? I want to see a picture of her. She is beautiful why did you leave her? Do you still love her? What did you do that caused her to divorce you? Question after question. I asked her once, "Didn't you say a couple of days ago that what was past was past, all I needed to do was to love you, lets only think about the future?" She said yes but I told her that I would tell here anything she wanted to know. Dang she was listening. No really I didn't mind. If she needs to know then she needs to know.
After about 3 1/2 hours she asked me, "Do you still love me?" Of course I said yes and then she old me the same. We chatted a few more minutes and the she went to bed.
Guys this is what it is all about. For the last two days I have become concerned about her constantly needing re-assurance from me about us. If she isn't asking you that then she isn't interested in you. If she isn't asking you that then you are talking with a translator and not the woman. I am now more convinced that talking with Pinky was the translator only and that I should have left the first time I noticed the problem.
Shaun
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Shaun I know we've had our disagreements in the past, but we are onto something with this "do you love me" thing.
Like other guys, I've sent my lady dozens of letters, text messages, went to see her, bought her lovely things and yet she is still not convinced my love is genuine.
My lady didn't say anything to me until I wrote my tough love EMF, and then the truth came out. She is not convinced I love her. Wow, that was a revelation because I thought the problem was that she didn't love me :huh:. All our problems stem from this, and the chuff I'm reading in that Men from Mars/Women from Venus relationship book sort of confirms it.
At least I have something to focus on now, and I will think of more ingenious ways to constantly prove my love for her.
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Two of the texts from the women I love that i received today, it is just right ...
honey,miss u so much.i look at ur yellow bag&feel it,seem that u r beside me.i can get ur smell though the bag.i think a lot the good memories we were together [I gave her my yellow rucksack to mind until I got back to GZ]
only ur message is in my phone inbox.read them again&again to think of u.honey,i really miss u a lot.not delete any message u sent me.ill keep them until i c u
The warm feelings shine through, I have found the woman i want to spend the rest of my days and nights with.
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Though I have had women like that in the past (do you love me?) I can say my lady in China isn't like that at all. She's never questioned it. Sje's tested it some? and wanted to see what I would reply (guess I passed the test) :icon_biggrin: But she hasn't asked if I love her? I haven't asked either.
So I will venture to say it's not a chinese thing but more of a individual thing. She may have an insecurity or just likes to here you say it?
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Shaun I think your lady is taking allot of heat there in China.From sister and the brother in law.I could set here and guess all night why.You just need to keep doing what your doing.And get over to China as soon as possible.That will take allot of heat off your lady.
That is why brother in law wanted to play twenty questions.And why your lady had allot of questions for you.About the ex wife.And why you had to divorce.Unfortunately your going to have to play the game until you get there.Or just move on.I think your in to deep now to move on.So your going to have to ride it out. good luck with the questions.
Maxx
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Jim,
Peggy and I are talking about it. I would like to go but it will take a while to sell everything I need to sell. First thing I need to do is get off my butt and away from this computer. I am talking almost 4 hours 2 times a day with her. We need to cut it back a little. Plus if I walk I walk away from a pension I am less than one year from collecting at the earliest date. From this point if I can work 6 more years I will have access to a great medical program for the rest of my life.
There is much to consider and she agrees. As some have told me here and Peggy as well, I should come and check it out first before I make my final decision. My business stinks right now but the busiest time is from January - May IF it happens this year. June - September is not bad so I hate to walk from the good time because of the potential of making good money. The 1st of April I could put a sign up selling the store and by June it may be sold. I was going to do it this last weekend but my business mentor advised against it. He said you want to sell when business looks good and is about to drop. I don't understand this theory because as soon as they look at the financial they will see what I am doing. If I can see it I know a good businessman can too.
I have a pending legal issues that needs to be solved (not me being pursued). It kind of fell into my lap but it appears it will be worth the effort.
My two girls graduate in May; 1 with a bachelors and 1 with a Phd. Someone of this forum said f**k them you've done your job and it is time to live for yourself. All though I understand how they feel, I have invested too much into this to take that attitude. They have let me know that they need me there at their graduation.
I have a son entering the Air Force and should finish boot camp hopefully close to the time the girls graduate. He is waiting for a job before her enters.
I have worked for this moment for 25 years. I will not fritter it away so quickly. Would I like to? Yes and No. I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I know waaa... waaaa... waaaa... but there is too much going on to walk away from and again Peggy agrees with me.
IF we can make it to June I think we will have the best kind of relationship. If not? Well then I guess she was not the one.
So I will endure and look for ways to make it happen sooner.
Maxx,
She is taking more heat than you will know. She woke up this morning unhappy. It kills me to hear that. It makes me unhappy that I have to look at her on a 4 inch window when I really want to hold her.
I think her sister is pushing her to push me and is pushing her to move to the US. We talked for a while about it. she was so upset she said goodbye and signed out.
I am handling it the only way I know how. Trying to be funny all of the time.
I wish they would leave her alone and let things progress naturally.
Shaun
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Ok guys, after reading all these threads I am forced to put my 2 cents worth in.
I think that perhaps it is wise to visit her first, after all you might decide then and there to marry, on the otherhand things can get different in person and so I say, take your time, visit for several weeks, get to know each other in person, and then sell the boat.
I'd have to seriously think about an aston-martin db. for instance, how many gals will fit in the front seat?....:icon_cheesygrin:
my house is cluttered also, she'd probably hang up just looking at the mess, besides if I could afford an aston-martin I should damn well be able to afford a house keeper.
but seriously, go visit first, seems like the best idea these guys have had so far, check out the schools and jobs while your there, you can probably squeeze right on in, if so, then so much the better.
I hate going somewhere I've never been and not know the "lay of the land", get to know the people, customs, your girlfriend, then make your decision, it's easier the second trip, because you already know where everything is and your more comfortable with your souroundings, and your relaxed.
And as to the "do you love me" every 5 minutes. She probably has had a really bad relationship in the past and is very shy, and kind of like myself very skeptical, not wanting to go through it agian. Best bet..forget the heater, send flowers instead...my motto is always been go straight for the heart, when you visit, then go shopping and then get the heater, let her pick it out.
and as always, be a good listener - girls love that. And good luck.....
Jim,
Peggy and I are talking about it. I would like to go but it will take a while to sell everything I need to sell. First thing I need to do is get off my butt and away from this computer. I am talking almost 4 hours 2 times a day with her. We need to cut it back a little. Plus if I walk I walk away from a pension I am less than one year from collecting at the earliest date. From this point if I can work 6 more years I will have access to a great medical program for the rest of my life.
There is much to consider and she agrees. As some have told me here and Peggy as well, I should come and check it out first before I make my final decision. My business stinks right now but the busiest time is from January - May IF it happens this year. June - September is not bad so I hate to walk from the good time because of the potential of making good money. The 1st of April I could put a sign up selling the store and by June it may be sold. I was going to do it this last weekend but my business mentor advised against it. He said you want to sell when business looks good and is about to drop. I don't understand this theory because as soon as they look at the financial they will see what I am doing. If I can see it I know a good businessman can too.
I have a pending legal issues that needs to be solved (not me being pursued). It kind of fell into my lap but it appears it will be worth the effort.
My two girls graduate in May; 1 with a bachelors and 1 with a Phd. Someone of this forum said f**k them you've done your job and it is time to live for yourself. All though I understand how they feel, I have invested too much into this to take that attitude. They have let me know that they need me there at their graduation.
I have a son entering the Air Force and should finish boot camp hopefully close to the time the girls graduate. He is waiting for a job before her enters.
I have worked for this moment for 25 years. I will not fritter it away so quickly. Would I like to? Yes and No. I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I know waaa... waaaa... waaaa... but there is too much going on to walk away from and again Peggy agrees with me.
IF we can make it to June I think we will have the best kind of relationship. If not? Well then I guess she was not the one.
So I will endure and look for ways to make it happen sooner.
Maxx,
She is taking more heat than you will know. She woke up this morning unhappy. It kills me to hear that. It makes me unhappy that I have to look at her on a 4 inch window when I really want to hold her.
I think her sister is pushing her to push me and is pushing her to move to the US. We talked for a while about it. she was so upset she said goodbye and signed out.
I am handling it the only way I know how. Trying to be funny all of the time.
I wish they would leave her alone and let things progress naturally.
Shaun
Shaun my friend, go visit and just the two of you go for a walk and talk things out, if there is love there, she will climb mountians for you and the pressure is released and you don't have to try to be funny, you already are, just be yourself.
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Shaun I know me and Jim are beating you like a dead horse over this.But I really think you do need to do something before May or June.I'm not telling you to kick your kids to the curb.Or to piss away that retirement.That's just foolish talk.
What I'm thinking is maybe just go to China for a week or 2. In December you do have a couple of weeks off in December right.Have your girls and your boy run the store for those 2 weeks.Tell them the truth.You just want to go on vacation.
What we are trying to do here is get you to go.While the fire is still hot.If you hit this when it is still hot.It shows Peggy that you don't want just a pen pal.It shows her that you are not just somebody who says something.But never does it.It also gets the what ifs out of the way.What if there is no physical attraction.What if you to rub each other the wrong way.I don't want to see you go down the same path you went down before with the other girl.All that time and effort wasted.
All the time i have ben on these forums.Ive only seen one of these relationships work.Where the man talked to the women for more then 6 months.I really don't know if it is going to work.He hasn't got the ring on her finger yet or started the visa process.The reason I think that it doesn't work talking for six months or longer is because I have not seen it work.And I have seen where promises were made.Promises were broke.And after a while.It gets to the point.Where one person doesn't believe in the other anymore.
It also gets you some experience with international travel.And gets you some experience in China.Before you make a life changing decision.Contrary to popular belief on this forum.Living in China is not for everybody.You really do need to leave yourself a way out if China isn't for you.
All of this can be accomplished for less than 3,00.00 Air,hotel,passport visa,walking around money.If you need help putting something like this together that quick.There is close to 300 members here I'm sure we can come up with the answers.
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Yes shaun - go and visit her!!! Although I'll add that airfares are much cheaper in January! I don't know if they get expensive around Chinese new year though.
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I think it amazing , what I said in post 27 and now we are up to post 69 [ hhmmm an interesting number ] and everyone is telling Shaun to move his butt , if you are afraid of flying , it will take a hell of a lot longer by boat , regards Ying and Robert .
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Greetings Brothers,
Shaun, you are getting a lot of good advice here from the guys.
You know I did exactly what you are aching to do and so far its working extremely well for me. I gave up mu life in Canada to be with Zhen and she gave up her life and job ih Handan to move to Wuhu with me. We are teh happiest two people on teh planet.
Now, having said that you cannot through away the family you have raised all their life and if you are close to a pension its nuts to throw that away also. However you are in a bit of a pickle, because teh brother in law and sister will hammer on your lady until you put up or shut up.
So my suggestions are these. First , as the guys say if you can go for even one week and make sure you two click that will ease her mind, your mind, and force the in laws to back off.
Second if you can go then make the arrangements, tell your lady and then tell the sister and brother to butt out and let you two work things out together. If they love her and respect you they should at least give you the chance to do or do not.
From teh sounds of things you have too much invested in your present life to throw it all away. I was lucky I met Zhen as I was getting divorced and my situation made it easy to bail for a few years. I have the funds in the bank such that if it failed I could return to Canada and still carry on with nothing but a few bucks poorer and a bruised ego. Also keep in mind that my plan all along is to return to Canada with Zhen in a couple of years. At that time could start pulling pensions ad still work to help us get on our feet faster. You would be foolish to throw away any pensions and your previous life in pursuit of something that you havent proven to be real yet.
If you cannot go then you still need the family to get the hell out of your relationship and so you need to explain things to them just enough to get them to cut you some slack. If you can get them to help you work it out so much the better. If they are in the US perhaps see if you can go visit them if you cannot get to china. A good face to face with them may swing things in your favour. Then visit your lady as soon as you are able.
Anyway I hope this long ramble has something you can use , and I sure bet you never expected to hear me say to stay there and not throw everything away. However even I manage to use my head for something other than a hatrack sometimes.
As for selling the material things well thats easy, they are just things, they wont cook you supper , look after you when you are sick or old and they sure as hell will never love you like she will.
Sincerely,
Zhen and brian
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OK, OK, OK, OK,
I hear all of you. Believe me I want to go. Now I think Peggy is telling me with her unhappiness that I need to go.
I am disappearing for a while. I will try to pull it together and go. Sell sell sell. $3000.00 in in three weeks. I will pop up when I am not listing, shipping, and talking with Peggy, but I will be here a little less. Any of you ebayers out there watch for goodstewardworld as I sell.
Shaun
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Shaun you'll have to make your own plan with what you want in the time you need. Nothings going to work out well unless you do.
I for one wouldn't make plans to move to China without ever being there. To many "what if's". Depending on the store income, operations and ownership there is such a thing as leasing the business. Just a thought, and to show there's always a way. As for her taking lip from her sister? Something has to be done with this by one or both. Your not kids that have to listen to it. Make plans and stick to it. And don't miss the graduations and such. You'll regret it.
So if possible take a visit? and work things out from there.
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Vince,
I agree. There are too many questions to pickup and move there. I thought about it but could not push myself to do it. So I will try to get enough together to go in a little over three weeks. Gotta lot of work to do. If don't make it I'll be there the first of April. If everything looks good when I get back and can finish my business here and move this summer.
Shaun
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BB I hope you meant escort or gigolo and not prostitute? He would be on the wrong forum to be this? :icon_biggrin:
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Biggie,
What I was trying to say was, I will try to go to China the last 2 weeks in December. Work my butt off. If that didn't work the next opportunity would be the first week in April. Can't do anything in between w/o being fired. School systems seem nice on the outside but once you are in they are ruthless.
I told Peggy about December and April and man you should have seen the look on her face and the excitement she expressed. She never even read the April part. Then when I brought it up again she said "What?" I told her to re-read. She did and said "OH... I see." But we talked it out and I think we are OK. I debated whether I should tell her April first and mention December later but I though if December works out she needed to know now to prepare. Well, what is done is done.
Jim, the only thing I can peddle in Augusta Georgia is a bicycle. Don't get me wrong, you can get it if you want it, but you are likely to get your throat slit at the same time. Now if you want a girl-boy there are plenty of those coming over from South Carolina and there is no way I'll pass for that or would even want to pass for that. Blyech!!!
My basic problem since the divorce is that I've got too many assets and not enough cashsets. Today I made a dent in listing some of what I need to sell. Some of it will appear on ebay on Sunday. I've got a few things on Craigslist now. I will call one of my bankers about loaning me some, possibly with one of my 401's as collateral. Don't know if they will. I have never tried.
This afternoon I find my passport and see that it has expired so I run to the post office to find out what I should do. They are closed. I get a passport packet and all I have to do is send my old on in with new pictures. Great. There is a photo studio next door to my store. Even better. My Avitar was taken there. Call the 800 number and it will take 6 weeks. #$)(&*% Friday I will call the office in Atlanta and see if I can get it done quicker there. I'm hoping.
Just got off the web cam with Peggy and she is disappointed but hopeful. The tone is very different now. She is happy even with the visa issue. She wants to start her own business and she asked me what I thought. Key factor; she asked. Before every could of days she would tell me she wants starting a business in January. She has already made a huge leap to a deeper relationship.
Thanks for all of the encouragement. Now to get this passport and visa issue settled.
Shaun
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Shaun - this is slightly off topic but if you have stuff to sell try stashing it on Amazon rather than eBay. The stuff stays on there until it sells, the fees are lower and it can be a great place to sell DVD box sets, books, games, toys, camera equipment and other stuff.
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Not had much luck on Amazon. I find eBay works well for me. They type stuff as you put it will be stashed on half.com and in my ebay store. Craigslist is also a preference. I advertise my store there.
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The last few days have been up and down. Peggy and I have been talking about me going there, looking at starting an export business to America, and many other subjects. There are too many to list. I mentioned about being grilled by the sister and the brother-in-law. Well the sister got back and and we had a long talk.
The upshot of the whole deal was that they were concerned that I was taking advantage of Peggy to make contacts to start an export business. I was shocked but at the same time I could understand why they were concerned so I told Peggy's sister that Peggy was the most important issue to me and that I would not speak of business anymore until I had been to Shenzhen and we made sure this was a relationship worth pursuing through marriage.
Then some of you guys started riding my butt :icon_cheesygrin: about going in December. So I committed and then discovered that my passport has expired. Monday I will call the passport agency in Atlanta and see if I can get it reduced from 6 weeks to 1 day by going there and walking it though. Then I will find out about the visa. So how do I break this info to Peggy? Well, tell the truth and tell her that if December falls through I will definately be there the first week in April. She didn't like it but understood.
But then, all of a sudden after telling me all of this time she wanted to stay in China, she starts asking questions about the US and I answer them. I ask her why the interest in The US? She tells me that she now wants to move to the US. :icon_biggrin: We talk about that for a while. I get the general, What will I for work? I do not speak English well. I do not want to cause you stress. Will your children like me?
So then last night she tells me she does not have a lot of time to talk as she is going to the Import and Export office to get information for me. :icon_surprised: Man was I surprised. I didn't even ask. Gotta love that gal.
Just spent 3 hours talking with her in the middle of this letter. I got to get my butt to Shenzhen ASAP. :icon_wink:
Fellas, if I can work it out I will stay with her until we get visa if all of this works out once I get there. It is kind of hard to see it not working out at this point. We talk so much on web cam I think I've got a pretty good idea about her character. Man this is what the doctor ordered.
Calling Passport office for sure Monday.
Shaun
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Shaun no worries about getting the passport renewed.Visa express can do it for you.For about 300.00 dollars.Everything included.Shipping government fees.It takes 8 to 12 days.You can get the visa from the same company.Visa express is who I use.You can get it done in 24 hours.But that is going to cost you 300.00 dollars just for visa express's fee.And I'm sure the government adds a fee for the rush job.
If you go to the web site you can print out the forms you need.Fill them out then just fedex them.
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Shaun,
As i think i mentioned before, if you do start an import/export business, there's nothing stopping Peggy getting business visa's to the states, so there's another bonus to think about. That will mean that she can visit the States on a fairly regular basis. I wouldn't mention the fact about any marriage plans in the offing when first applying, not until she has completed at least one round trip at least!! ...lol!!
Bonafide business visa's are a dammed site easier to acquire than any other type of visa to enter a foreign country, that's for sure....
David....
PS.... I'm not sure if the States, are anything like the UK, but in the UK you can go to the main passport office for your area, and providing you get there earlier enough, you walk away with a renewed passport in your grubby mitts in the afternoon. I've actually done this twice at the main Passport Office in London, and there's no extra charge either, ...well there wasn't when i last went this route. I'm pretty sure you will have a similar system, as they have to cater for emergency replacement passports etc,etc.....
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Shaun, I went to the local Post office. Paid an extra $100 and had it in 10 days. This was for a first passport also. So make sure you check that out before going to the added expense. I first had to make an appointment with the passport office though. That took me a week.
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Maxx David 5o,
Thanks for the info. Friday when the I was not able to get the Atlanta phone number to answer I went to the post office. They were closed too. There was a man pounding on a door as I went in. I found the paperwork I needed and checked the hours of the passport office. As I was leaving a woman answered the door and went to get a package for the man pounding the door so I waited for her to return with his package.
I explained my situation to her about the passport. She not only went to get the passport form for me but brought the appointment schedule book and wrote me in for Monday morning.
Jim,
Thank you for your info. You answered some of the questions I had for the person at the Postal/Passport office.
Shaun
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Well there are so many things to say here I am having difficulty in what I want to say. Imagine that. Having loss of some thing to say about anything.
Last night everything changed and then it changed even more this morning. All for the better. Peggy and I have been on the web cam way too much but I am loving it. Last night for the first time she really messed with my mind. Gave me a hard time... playing with me. I loved it. Then this morning for the first time we talked on the new version of Yahoo Messenger Voice. OMG!!!!!! Soft but confident, Alto, and very sexy voice. What can I say?
I went to the post office to see the passport dude. He told me that it will take 3 weeks because I will have to start over. If your passport has passed 15 years beyond the issue date you have to start over. I am at 17 years. He even showed me in print. I told him I could not wait 3 weeks. He said he could express it for a larger fee. All I would gain is one day on either side. He said the passport issuance facility was slammed right now. Then after I get it back I will have to send to Chinese Embassy.
I asked him about and expediter. He said there was one here but he would want $400.00. It would be one week. So I ran out of time today and will call an expediter tomorrow.
More later, I guess, Coming up next? Peggy on the web and voice cam. See ya,
Shaun
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Shaun,
I'm sure if you went to your main State passport office in person, you would walk out with a new passport in your hand. It's not as if you have never held a passport, you have!! Which means they already have a file on you. So if an expediter can get a passport in a week, you should be able do it yourself in person much quicker.....
Take a sickie day from work, ....you can't lose more than 400 dollars by taking a day off!! lol!!
David.....
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My Passport is long expired (maybe 15 years or so) and I will have to put in for a new one. All the info on the old one is no longer good in any way. I do not live even in the same state, So all the info is going to be different.
Dave (5o) They don't do the passport at the post office they just receive the paperwork and send it out to some federal office for process. Starting I think it was last year you now need a passport to go to Canada and Mexico and some islands near by, where it wasn't needed before. There was a flood of people going for passports since. So they have been backlogged (then). I haven't heard anything lately so lets hope they have caught up?
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Vince,
Your passport situation is like yours. Out of state and all. I have walked a passport through twice in my life. Almost went to jail the first time. It is a long story in Juarez, Mexico. The second was in Houston, Tx. The passport issuing stations are still backed up. I can set an appointment but you must have plane tickets or itinerary with the date of departure and that it has been paid for. So I guess they are still very busy.
You will need to send in your old passport with your application. They will accept it as a verified birth certificate.
I spoke with 3 expediters today. The local one flat turned me down. He said it is too much trouble right now. He have me the phone numbers of the other 2. Both were $400.00 plus the plane ticket before they would set the appointment. The also said 1 week turn around.
David,
There is no way the school will let me take another sick day this year. I've been back to work 2 days after being out 4 weeks on medical leave for hand surgery. If I am sick I will need doctors excuse. There are too many people out with what we call yellow fever. Pay is being cut again January 1 so many of the of the drivers are laying out. April is looking better all of the time. I will talk with Peggy tonight and see how she feels about this; like I don't already know.
Shaun
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Ok guys, what am I missing here? You are on a web site that has thousands of chinese ladies looking for husbands. You have been writting for some time and expressing a desire to visit them. You know that it will take a least two trips to China before they can get a visa. So why is your passport 15 years out of date? Having been here for over a week, I can tell you it is all in the details. You are watched by your lady, her friends, her family, and everyone where you eat. In order to make a positive impression, it is the small details that matter most. So the fact that you are now trying to hurry and make plans at the last minute and at extra cost, tells me you are not planning your trip very carefully. You need to move your focus 3 feet north and get right. You have only one chance at a first impression, and trying to explain to the lady that my passport was out of date by many years even though I was planning to see China very soon, will take a lot of fancy dance steps. I am sorry, but I just see this position as a no win suitation.
Now on to the thread topic, you know it is right when you find laundy hanging in the bathroom, when you are at her sister's house making dumplings with the family, when she is relaxed enough to yawn in front of you, when she takes hold your hand walking down the busy streets of Beijing, and when you just can not get her out of your mind. It takes a good foundation of letters building trust and let me make this very clear "IT DOES NOT HAPPEN WITH OUT MEETING FACE TO FACE"!
buzz
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Buzz,
You busting my chops again? :icon_cheesygrin:
I was planning to go in April or June to fit my work schedule. I have the last two weeks in December open from work but the 3 ft down brain and others thought I should go now. Peggy agrees. So trying to play catchup is difficult and is looking worse all the time.
I do not disagree with anything you have said about being there face to face. I would go tomorrow if I could. There are issues here that cannot be avoided like employment. I only work 182 days a year minimum with a max of about 220 depending what extra work I can get my hands on. The school frowns deeply when a person is off while classes are in session and I am too close to early retirement to buck the system. It is less than 1 year right now. If I can make it 6 more I get better retirement and medical insurance the rest of my life. So... I am trying to work within their time frame. Summertime I get 10 weeks in a row off. To me this is the best option. I can stay longer.
Shaun
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Buzz,
You busting my chops again? :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
Yes I am, because if you get it right you win a prize. If not, well does it really matter. Examples of a prize worth waiting, AND PLANNING, for below. (pics won't add, sending to vince by pm so he can add)
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Buzz, nice pics just had to size them a little.
There is a long involved story about the passport and why it's expired. Things are straightening out now and I did have to do some fancy dancing for the lady to stay interested. She's still there and waiting so the dance went well? :icon_cheesygrin: It had nothing to do with planning.
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When the average American citizen realises that there is life outside of the USA then your passport offices will have to really get organized. I would imagine now that very few of the 60 odd million people who live in the UK that do not have a passport.
Willy
Or should that be 60 million odd people?
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Willy,
Most Americans are still trying to decide if it would be OK to put up a fence around the country. Get a passport? You are talking about war. With only 8 post offices in our area, only 2 of them offer passport services and the hours are part-time with one clerk. This is more that we had 5 years ago. Many Americans have never seen a passport let alone know where to get one. Looks and see in about two years when government officials start talking about voter ID cards again.
I would say there are 60 million odd people here.
Buzz, Jim, Maxx and the rest who are pushing me to go now. I appreciate and understand what you are trying to do but I am not going to tell everything here. There are other issues to consider that are private. Some of you have put yourself in a position to be able to go whenever you want and I commend you for that. I started this journey back in April and wasn't 100% sure about it until I met Peggy.
Peggy and I talked about waiting until April last night. She understands. Neither one of us like it but we understand. I talked with the Chinese Embassy in DC yesterday and it looks like to get done what I want to do will take 2 days. Day one the passport and day 2 the visa. They only issue visas between the hours of 9:30am and 12:30pm. Plane tickets went from $1300.00 to $4600.00 yesterday. I do not see how this is possible. I guess the seats are few now.
I'll pass on the ticket price alone.
Shaun
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Poor shaun they really haveing a pop at you,guys you got to remember if you work at a school you have set times you can have of you just cant take time of willy nilly when you want and not only that not all of us have the funds to jump on a plane when we like to as much as we like to so give shaun some elbow room guys.
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I talked with the Chinese Embassy in DC yesterday and it looks like to get done what I want to do will take 2 days. Day one the passport and day 2 the visa.
Shaun, I think you have to use the Embassy in Texas as I do? There are services or do it yourself (overnight mail) to get the visa, so no need to fly there, stay and wait? I'll send the info. (email)
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Plane tickets went from $1300.00 to $4600.00 yesterday. I do not see how this is possible. I guess the seats are few now.
I'll pass on the ticket price alone.
Shaun
Wait until the time is right for YOU Shaun.
On air tickets
The fare from London to Hong kong is reasonable when you split it down at £170 GBPounds - thats about 270 USD. But then add on the airport taxes at both ends and the fare comes out at just over £400 GBPounds that is about 640 USD.
What do we get at the airport for our money - queues - to get back here this week I spent a longer time in queues than it took to travel from Hong Kong to my home in Zhongshan, Mainland China via the ferry.
Willy
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Thanks Willy,
The one thing I intend to do is what is right and the right time. I will not do anything to cause undue financial pressure on myself. Not intentionally anyway. Peggy and I discussed it last night and we are on the same page. Yes it would be absolutely wonderful to go right now but rushing and paying extra for everything is not wise.
Peggy and I were talking this morning and a couple of things were said that caused a lot of serious discussion and laughing hysterically too. It was almost midnight for her and I was dead on my feet. I am not comfortable with sharing what was said but it would cause almost any hot blooded mail to rise up and pay attention.
Peggy's English is unbelievable for a woman who has only studied 7 months but sometimes we just can't understand each other. For almost an hour she tried to tell me what the following sentence meant. "Human who falls in love with bed altogether Hangzhou." I can follow up to the word Hangzhou and then I am completely lost. I can't tell you if it is a idiom or a cultural thing a portion of a saying that Chinese understand or if I need a definition for the word. I know there is a city in China with that name but beyond that I am completely and totally lost. Anyone have and ideas?
If she wasn't so important to me I would blow it off and move on but I think this is one of those things that reveals some of her character.
Shaun
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The Chinese have 1000's of these sayings, I guess you'd have to learn them all to become fluent in Chinese. Periodically my lady sends me a new one.
Some people are much better at learning languages than others. My lady amazes me - she remembers her high school English and it got much better when I was with her. She speaks 2 Mandarin dialects and became fluent in Cantonese after spending just 7 months in Guangzhou. Sadly her written English is as bad as my written Mandarin and I am now aware of how horribly difficult English is to learn.
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Shaun,
Did she verbally say this or did she type this?
Jim
Jim,
She typed it. We are using the talking for learning language right now. It slows us down when we want to talk with each other.
Shaun
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Thanks Willy,
The one thing I intend to do is what is right and the right time. I will not do anything to cause undue financial pressure on myself. Not intentionally anyway. Peggy and I discussed it last night and we are on the same page. Yes it would be absolutely wonderful to go right now but rushing and paying extra for everything is not wise.
Peggy and I were talking this morning and a couple of things were said that caused a lot of serious discussion and laughing hysterically too. It was almost midnight for her and I was dead on my feet. I am not comfortable with sharing what was said but it would cause almost any hot blooded mail to rise up and pay attention.
Peggy's English is unbelievable for a woman who has only studied 7 months but sometimes we just can't understand each other. For almost an hour she tried to tell me what the following sentence meant. "Human who falls in love with bed altogether Hangzhou." I can follow up to the word Hangzhou and then I am completely lost. I can't tell you if it is a idiom or a cultural thing a portion of a saying that Chinese understand or if I need a definition for the word. I know there is a city in China with that name but beyond that I am completely and totally lost. Anyone have and ideas?
If she wasn't so important to me I would blow it off and move on but I think this is one of those things that reveals some of her character.
Shaun
Hi Shaun,
Maybe you could get her to type it in Chinese as well and see what everyone thinks it actually means.
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Thanks Willy,
The one thing I intend to do is what is right and the right time. I will not do anything to cause undue financial pressure on myself. Not intentionally anyway. Peggy and I discussed it last night and we are on the same page. Yes it would be absolutely wonderful to go right now but rushing and paying extra for everything is not wise.
Peggy and I were talking this morning and a couple of things were said that caused a lot of serious discussion and laughing hysterically too. It was almost midnight for her and I was dead on my feet. I am not comfortable with sharing what was said but it would cause almost any hot blooded mail to rise up and pay attention.
Peggy's English is unbelievable for a woman who has only studied 7 months but sometimes we just can't understand each other. For almost an hour she tried to tell me what the following sentence meant. "Human who falls in love with bed altogether Hangzhou." I can follow up to the word Hangzhou and then I am completely lost. I can't tell you if it is a idiom or a cultural thing a portion of a saying that Chinese understand or if I need a definition for the word. I know there is a city in China with that name but beyond that I am completely and totally lost. Anyone have and ideas?
If she wasn't so important to me I would blow it off and move on but I think this is one of those things that reveals some of her character.
Shaun
Hi Shaun,
Maybe you could get her to type it in Chinese as well and see what everyone thinks it actually means.
Thanks, I will ask her tomorrow night.
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Shaun,
Been away yesterday so only just caught up.
Your passport system sounds so outdated and antiquated, it hardly seems possible for what is considered an advanced country!!!! What do you do if you need an emergency passport for gods sake ??? Seems as if your all in a ''catch 22'' situation to me, you can't get a fast-track passport unless you have a valid air/boat ticket, ...now who's going to chance buying a 4000 dollar ticket, for a specific date without having a passport in your hand??? What happens if there is a delay in the post.... your stuck with a worthless 4000 dollar ticket!!! ...Crazy!!!
I found out today, that in UK you can renew a full UK passport in 2 hours at a main passport office, for an extra cost of 50 pounds!!! ....and were the poor cousins according to you lot in the States!!!...lol!!!
David.....
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David5o: its for businesses. I once had to go on a business trip and the company paid for the ticket. I then realized my passport expired 2 weeks ago. My boss wrote a letter and I had a Canadian password within 6 hours.
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RegnisTheGreat,
Wrong, It's for emergency passport renewal, anyone can renew their passport at this section of the passport office. Many people (admittedly dim people) arrive at the airport only to find there passport is out of date, they can, an in many cases do, get there passport renewed in an hour or so at a main passport office if they can show immediate travel arrangements in place. For London, that would be at the Petty France passport office....
David
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David50: I'm talking about Canuckistan here not the UK. We're different here.
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RegnisTheGreat,
Then i'm confused, Why did you post ''That's for Business'' as if implying that it's only for business purposes if your talking about a completly different country?? :huh:
David....
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My mistake. My brain has been dead all day. I'll delete my post.
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In the US the system is horrible and a racket. I have not seen a change in 33 years with the exception of using the postal service to get them. All there really do is make sure the paperwork is correct, take a picture and file it. Then the Post Office charges $25.00 for making sure YOU did it right. Paying for the photos; not a problem.
Quickest way to get one is at a foreign embassy. I got my first in Juarez, Mexico. Don't ask me how. The statute of limitations do not apply. :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
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Shaun,
I don't know about it being a racket or not, but it certainly seems like a crazy system you have there. That ''catch 22'' situation is just too crazy for words.... Seems like it's gone from a totally in personal application to a postal system, without anything in-between.
I can understand the proof of immediate travel commitment for an emergency passport made in person, but not for a postal application, where any delay in receiving your passport could and would nullify your travel ticket.... absolute nonsense. !!!!
David....
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Hello o wise gentlemen. I may have an issue here. Peggy and I have been talking a lot. We've talked about love a lot. We have both said I love you to each other. There is a huge attraction between us. I think this is real and the one. But tonight she pulled a new one on me. She is saying she is my wife and I am her husband. She goes on a little later to say that I should behave because she is my wife.
I am not exactly sure what to say to her about this. Totally left field. I immediately applied Maxx's 24 hour rule and am still talking with her right now. Should I say something or let it pass? Or is this a ploy to get me to commit to her?
Shaun
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Shaun: I'm confused, have you gone to visit her yet? If so how many times? If not when is it planned for?
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Hello o wise gentlemen. I may have an issue here. Peggy and I have been talking a lot. We've talked about love a lot. We have both said I love you to each other. There is a huge attraction between us. I think this is real and the one. But tonight she pulled a new one on me. She is saying she is my wife and I am her husband. She goes on a little later to say that I should behave because she is my wife.
I am not exactly sure what to say to her about this. Totally left field. I immediately applied Maxx's 24 hour rule and am still talking with her right now. Should I say something or let it pass? Or is this a ploy to get me to commit to her?
Shaun
Jim,
Thanks. I know it is a good thing but she already had us married. I was kind of worried. But 24 hour rules. I said nothing and later she made a comment. If we get married. Whew. I think she was messing with me.
Shaun
Shaun,
hahahahahaha :icon_cheesygrin: dude, do you love her? If so, why not just go with this? This sounds like she is serious on this commitment! This is a good thing! :icon_biggrin:
Jim
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Shaun , now you learning about the commitment that a lovely Chinese lady will make to her man who she trusts , what she is saying in fact is she is off the market and so should you be until you are face to face , she is relaxed and happy , funny how regular web cam sessions can do this , and to all the skeptics , this is just another way of a Chinese lady calling you , her Lao Gong or you calling her, your Lao Po well before it would be said in the the very new western world , regards Ying and Robert .
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Shaun, and so the hook sunk deeper into the great white whale as captian shaun rode upon its back, and if his heart was a spear he would have cast it upon the creature. LOL
She is setting the hook deeper shaun so you don't get away, be afraid, very afraid.....lol
Next thing, she'll want your help in naming the children she is planning.....lol
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Reginis,
Have not been yet. Hope to soon. We do about 5-8 hours a day on web-cam. So I think we are getting to know each other very well.
Shaun
More children? Heck no!!!!!! Before the last one was born I had a full head of auburn hair with absolutely no gray in it. He caused my hair to fall out and turn gray.
Anyway I will help her in trying to have children if she wants. Heck I'll do it 10 times a day if necessary. However I may not tell her I had a vasectomy.
Shaun
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shaun: I'm planning to go next September right now. I am kinda of short on cash after buying a condo and making a big down payment. The reason for September is that my grandmother turns 88 so I have to go. If you are in China then I'll hit you up.
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Hi Guys,
Well, last night I went back and forth with what she was thinking. Peggy has a great sense of humor. She will need it with me. I love to kidd people and she does too so in that regard we are perfect for each other. We have had many discussions about various issues but last night it got extremely serious. Her younger sister who is married to an American and they live here in the US has been coaching Peggy; I think.
Last night she caught me totally by surprise with this I am your wife thing. I simply did not know what she was getting at but I sort of played along with it. I would not use the word wife but I did tell her she was the one and only, that I loved her, that I thought we were perfect for each other. You know, all the stuff that sounds like committing but not quite doing it. It is not that I am willing to commit, I mean I am head over heals for her but we've not done a face to face and yes I know Jim, Maxx, and the others I need to get my butt over there.
The conversation then turned to financial issues. Man, I was on the examination table. After about 90 minutes Peggy finally confessed that her sister had told her to get to the nitty gritty about where I was at financially. All she wanted to know really was if I made over $20,000.00USD a year. She could care less about anything else. She said she knew she could not come if I made less. So I assured her that I made more than that so we are good.
Robert thanks for the info and yes webcam makes a huge difference. All of the concerns and all of the fears are reduced dramatically. There is so much I can see and read from her as we talk. Most of the time she does the translation with google. She has 2 computer screens and a digital pad for writing on. If she has had a rough day and she to tired to think then I do the translating. She actually does a much better job than I do.
Guys I can tell when the translation is wrong or when I say something she does not like and I can respond before she even asks the question. We do not have to wait long to resolve issues, it happens right here and right now. I know there are those who found the perfect mate without it but for me it is an absolute must.
Next on the agenda for me is to figure out how to set up for the future. Peggy is a keeper.
Regnis, up over in China would be great. When I have nailed down everything I will let you know.
Ted, I have not forgot what you said about meeting Peggy. She is not traveling much at the moment but I will encourage her to meet the both of you when she goes through Guangzhou. She grew up in Shaoguan, her children live there and she is contemplating moving back to work until I arrive.
Thank all of you for reading and commenting. This helps me to make quality decisions.
Shaun
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Shaun, was it her sister who insisted on the 20 grand or her (your girlfriend) who insisted on it? You know real love is based on love and the desire to be together, not 20 grand. Boy her sister is getting very personel with this, sounds like she got a well to do husband and has her nose in the air, but placing a price tag on your love is somthing else...just being a concerned friend....
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Rocky , you will find that is part of the visa requirements , along with bank statements etc, better to be aware than be hit with a surprise later on , regards Ying and Robert .
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Shaun, was it her sister who insisted on the 20 grand or her (your girlfriend) who insisted on it? You know real love is based on love and the desire to be together, not 20 grand. Boy her sister is getting very personel with this, sounds like she got a well to do husband and has her nose in the air, but placing a price tag on your love is somthing else...just being a concerned friend....
Rock,
Her sister know that oyu need to at least make $20,000UDS for her to get a visa to enter the US. That is the only concern about the $20,000. If you bring in less that to them there is no use in waisting her time trying to marry and enter the US.
Shaun
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Shuan: how the heck do you get time to spend 5-6 hours a day on the webcam? I mean with sleep, work, eating, bathrooms, etc? Do you like not sleep man? :)
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Which visa are we talking about,the american or chinese and who looks at your bank account? I suppose if your retired and making the big bucks with a social security check every month (ha ha ha) you might as well give it up huh? or is it the standard bribe fee charged by immigration.
Please shaun or anyone explane this to me as this is the first I've heard of this, red envelopes yes, what "other" hidden fees have I missed?
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Regnis,
I only sleep 4-5 hours a night. I try to sleep more but I cannot. I work 5-6 hours a day right now so I am home a lot. I own a store so it had afforded me the luxury to work this kind of schedule. However, the economy is so bad the store is loosing money right now. I hear on television that we have turned a corner and the economy is improving. Don't you believe it for one minute. People are not buying squat. The government is lying and they know it. I know because I work for the government and they are still cutting back on everything. OK enough about that rant. I will not be able to live this way much longer.
Rock,
I first learned about the $20,000USD requirement on this site. Maybe Arnold since he just went through it can post on this or start an new thread with the requirements for bringing a Chinese woman to the US. My best guess is that they are looking for your W2 or tax return.
Shaun
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Shaun , just to add to your million mind thoughts , when and if you do get married to your wonderful lady your status in China changes , Peggy is a clever lady she will be able to find out for you if no other guy jumps on here , the Chinese ladies have a magic network of friends and can find anything out usually in minutes not hours or days like in the West , regards Ying and Robert .
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Robert,
I am already finding this out. Wow. It is amazing how they network for resources.
Shaun
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It has been a while since I updated what is going on between Peggy and me. I am still talking with her twice a day and getting nothing done at home. So I am going to suggest we drop off the am visit and bring back the pm one from the beginning time. She comes out between 9:00 and 9:30. Because I get up so early I like to go to bed around 9 and lights out at 10. I am beginning to walk around like a zombie so something needs to change. We stop around 11:00 to 11:30.
Peggy and I have talked about so many subjects so I just might do this by subject.
Moving to America
Initially Peggy asked me where I wanted to live and I responded I prefer American but I am open to different ideas. She told me she did not want to leave China and would like to live in Shouguan in Guangdong Province where she grew up. Her children live there and she wanted mt to teach in the university there.
Then one day she comes out and tells me she wants to live in the US. It has been that way ever since. I guess little sister had a little talk with her. The only thing I said when she suggested we live in Shouguan was that was an option that we needed to explore and that I was trying to be open minded. I did suggest that Shenzhen might be a better place to live since it was a much larger city and we might find much better jobs there. Also we could build an Export business much easier there.
Building a Business
I spoke with Peggy about the desire for me to build a business there, preferably an export business. That chat got me a sit down meeting with her American bother in law. He basically read me the riot act. Their concern was that I was using Peggy to make some contacts and build the business then dump her. I said, "I see your point." He went on to explain what a wonderful person Peggy was and that she would make an American man very happy and lucky if her married her. He did give me some info about business in Shenzhen, then a few more warnings, and abruptly got off of the computer. Next up was Peggy's little sister.
She was much kinder than her husband but had the same concerns and expressed them in a very diplomatic way. I told her that I would not mention business again unless Peggy brought it up or I had confirmed plans to go there. She accepted my reply.
About a week later Peggy began talking about business and it has been a portion of our conversation ever since. On her own she went out and got the information needed to Export goods to America. She came back overwhelmed and said there was no way we could make money exporting goods. Her sister is to explain it to me some day soon.
We talked about other businesses we could start there. One day I suggest that we start and internet dating agency with English classes as a part of the agency. Man, I opened up a can of worms with that one. She didn't like that idea at all. Why? I would be around other single women and tempted to cheat on her. We spent three full conversations on that one subject. I tried to explain that she did not need to worry that I had better self control than that. Te subject ended when I said, OK we will not open an agency and I will not mention it again. She is happy now.
Jealousy
This does cause me concern. I am not sure what to make out of this. She told me that if I teach English that she wants to be at every class. I asked her was it because she wanted to learn English very well or was it because she wanted to keep me from the single women? She only said yes. Then one day she said that when we got married that she wanted to control the finances and she would not tell me if we were rich or poor. I asked why? She said that when men get rich they cheat on wifes and drink too much and leave them and marry younger women.
At first I was angry because she does not trust me. Then I thought that in reality that she has been done wrong by men and is trying to prevent that from happening again so I gave her an analogy. I said, "not all men are like your ex husband, not all men cheat on their wife. I told her that my wife managed all of our finances for 27 years and I was shocked when she turned over the books to me. She spent all of the money we received and then some. She paid late fees on about everything payment we had. She left me with no money and all of the bills two months behind. From this I could say that I should not trust any woman with the finances of the family because they spend all of our money." That was not word for word but I am too lazy to go back and look for the actual words.
Yesterday a regular female customer came into my store. She had not been there in about six months and when she walked in I almost didn't recognize her. She had lost 60lbs and men she was looking real good to me. She is beautiful for a woman her age. 52. She told me that she was going through a horrible divorce. She asked me where all of my jewelry was that I sold and I told her it went with my divorce. She began to open up and talk about her divorce, she really cried; heavy sobs. I stood up from my chair, in the store and put both of my arms around her and held her tight. She absolutely broke down and dried for about 10 minutes it seamed. She got makeup all over my shirt. I tell you what. I am still fully functional. The putter did rise to the occasion so I twisted around a little so would not detect it.
When she stopped crying I gave her a few more kleenex. She apologized, I told her she didn't have to, she said, "I hope you do not get the wrong idea, I am not ready for another man." I said, "I didn't think you were and anyway I am not on the market either, I thought you needed a friend to hug you, thats all." If I told Peggy or she saw that she would go ballistic I think. My ex wife would not have had a problem with that, she knew I would not cheat on her. Of course I would have not hugged her for 10 minutes either. I do hug women all the time but it is a brief hug.
I will have to continue this later. I though about making this one a cliff hanger, there was the perfect place up one paragraph, butttttttt.... I will leave that to Scott and Ron. I have not checked the grammar and left any hanging participles. I will make correction as needed later. I need to head out into the wet and cold environment to open the store now. I thought I lived in Georgia not North Dakota. :icon_cheesygrin:
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And as soon as the lady left, shaun rushed into the bathroom and has not been seen since....LOL :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun - don't underestimate the jealousy thing. My lady was not impressed when an unknown female added herself to my QQ. I was also not permitted to stand outside the store while my lady went shopping, presumably in case beautiful ladies should happen to walk past :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Shaun , after your first face to face Peggy may become more relaxed , or if she finds you to handsome watch out for the handcuffs , ha ha , it seems at times that you have not read some off the other posts , whatever goes on you may think you are the head of the household , but the women are de BOSS , and yes they mellow as their trust levels grow .
Until your first meeting nothing is set in stone , just as others have done after the first body contact then you can very quickly decide the future , with no procrastinating , even if if it means a quick trip to U.S.A. and back , regards Ying and Robert .
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The term "ball and chain" comes to mind. But this only increases the hat size in american men, Never had an american woman watch me that close, perhaps they didn't care enough....I guess it's "snatch and grab" over in china, where you are a rare commodity. :icon_cheesygrin:
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OK, so now comes the 24 hour rule. Tonight was a difficult time because Peggy's daughter is having a major problem at work. Peggy is needing to go to her home town to help her daughter. I am OK with that and encourage her to help her family where she is able to.
We talked a while about what I needed to do to go see her. I explained what I was doing and she was happy. Then she makes the following comment, "Yes, I only need Peter. He only concerned about the" First I type I do not understand. She looks are her computer puzzled. Then I say who is Peter? She side steps the issue talks about a few more things. Then I ask her I do not understand what you said a few sentences ago and repeated what she said. Long pause. Then she tells me take off my glasses she wants to see my eyes. We talk about that a little. Then she says she can tell I need to go to bed. We sign off for the night.
The only problem is she never answered my question but even worse she side stepped my question. I can't hang with that. So I plead the 24 hour rule but when we talk in the morning I will only want to know who Peter is and I will not let go of it. If she made a mistake OK. Admit it. Then move on but do not hide it. I am sure if we were to marry that I will accidentally call her Diane. Well we were married 27 years but I will apologize to her.
Help me guys because I will not let go until she tells me.
Shaun
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Shaun hold back and see.
It could be that she has other things on her mind with her daughters problem.
When so far apart one can get really paranoid about what the other is doing and what was said may have been in all innocence.
Willy
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Never doubt the love of a Chinese woman unless she tells you straight. You will regret it.
I'll admit, you have to find out the answer to your question, but never assume anything. Never jump to conclusions.
You can call that rule #3.
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I can handle a slip of the tongue and I think I am prepared that there might be another man. If I have a plan B why would I not consider her having one but to sidestep the issues and not answer the question? That is an issue with me. Bottom line it is called trust. A sidestep is what I was married to for 27 years.
Willy, it is going to be hard for me to hold back. I know she is having problems with her daughter and I do not want to draw her focus from that. So.....
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relax Shaun, take one day at atime, and remember "Peter" could be an ex-or her daughters boyfriend or husband. Any number of things, remember to just relax and I'm sure she will explain later when she is calmed down.
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Well, I couldn't let it rest. I didn't sleep well last night and Peggy contacted me this morning at 9:00am as usual. I was trying to keep cool and the 24 hour thing but she could tell something was wrong.
So finally after asking a few times more and telling me to get some sleep I told her what was on my mind. I didn't loose my cool but I simply laid out the information as I saw it. Of course I was wrong and she explained last night it was a translation error. She said, "Do you think I deceived you?" I told her that at this point I wasn't sure what to believe.
In comes the little sister. Now I am being double teamed. I do not even have a chance. A snowball has a better chance... Little sister said, " if she is not a honest woman, then you would never found a honest women any more." It was at this point that I cried uncle and was laughing.
Peggy and I talked a little more and she said two important things that really changed my mind. She said, " In fact, your worries are justified. Not being angry. Because we need is honesty, because you and I are experienced unhappy marriage. I understand. In fact, I also worried that you do not really love me."
All in all it turned out to be a defining moment in our relationship. We had our first argument and I lost. No, we came to a better understanding of each other. I told her that I would work as hard as I can to get there was quick as I can which will take several weeks. I will stay until the first week of May if finances permit and I find a teaching job. Peggy's family seems to be real connected so it may not be a problem. I will have to return in May to see my two girls graduate.
Things to think about: I have not even met sister #2 yet. I have been double teamed and lost, what will it be like to be triple teamed. Mom hasn't even entered the picture yet. Boy am I in trouble.
This all started when Peggy's daughter got into a little trouble. I am not exactly sure what it is but mother and aunt have gone to shoaguan to help and it take 2 weeks to straighten it out. I believe the daughter is a seamstress. Peggy gave me her cell number and I gave her mine. She took her computer with her so we can talk when she is available. This woman from what I can see is walking the extra mile. Think I'll stick around and see what happens.
Shaun
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Translation problems - yes - happens all the time. Last week I told my wife that I ate Chicken Parmesan. I decided to translate into simple Chinese and got ????? When I translated this back to English I got Penis forage cream :blush: I hope my wife understands.
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Okay, maybe I'm suspicious but how the heck does Peter translate to Shaun?
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Okay, maybe I'm suspicious but how the heck does Peter translate to Shaun?
Peggy and Peter could have been mixed up - close enough in letters. My wife many times writes he when shen mean she. Also say here when she means there.
And Shaun take care. I have been to see my wife 4 times now. There has been moments after each visit that I had my doubts raised. It's okay to be suspicious, but don't let that little seed of doubt grow into something bigger that can threaten your relationship. Sometimes a little prunning is needed.
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Reg,
I understand where you are at with this issue. She tells me it is an error in spelling. I will tell you she does not spell well at. The point is not only can I not see her spelling I would not understand it if I did see it. If there is a Peter and he is there right now wooing her, she has given me permission to call her any time day or night.
If there is a game going on it will crop up again. If there is a Peter and she marries him then all I have lost is a few months of talking. Yes there will be an emotional loss but... Flip that, if he is there for 2 weeks and then I go say Feb 1 and stay until May 1, how is he going to overcome that? 3 months with her.
I'll take it day by day for now. She could be telling the truth and what would I lose if I walk away from a great woman?
Thanks for your comments Ron. I am choosing to go with it. The thing that really impressed me was how her sister jumped in for her sister. I say they double teamed me but in reality they go to bat for each other and support each other. Why would the sister do this if she didn't think I was worth being with Peggy?
Shaun
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the penius porrage cream, a new chinese dish....400 rmb
the look on her face when she decoded it....priceless
You will be the talk of the family for a while....with smiles
Shaun, see I TOLD YOU IT WAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. Quit being a worry wart, she loves you. And you deserve a good caneing, kinky...lol
wait till your married, if you think a nagging wife is bad, wait till they double or triple team you....heh heh....lol (now on WWF the american Shaun takes on the evil triplets in a ONE round match...he he)
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Peggy has gone to shaoguan to help her daughter for 2 weeks. We finally talked this morning for a few minutes but no web cam. She said she would buy one tomorrow. She asked me if I wanted to see her. My reply was yes very much. There was not response so I sent a couple of other comments then 20 minute later she logged off.
I am sure everything is OK. Peggy makes shaoguan sound like it is an industrial city but in the dark ages. Her responses were slow so I am assuming that technology is not very good there. She has been gone 2 days now. It is like going through withdrawal since I have spent a lot of time with her.
Shaun
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Well you can always spend time here talking with us. But I do understand that it will not be even close to being the same. I understand how you feel. If I haven't talked with my wife for a couple of days I sure miss her then too.
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God yeah. Those moments when you're not sure what's happening on the other side of the world are rough! It's difficult to not worry sometimes. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but if anything it gets harder.
That said, the highs are really high, relief is truly relieving and sometimes something as simple as a smile makes the whole thing worth it. Keep your spirits up and keep busy.
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When your lady is busy and you don't QQ much it sucks. Our ladies also seem to like to take things slowly, which is not great for us North Europeans who are used to rushing around when we do stuff. The rule about getting on with your life is good :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Sounds like sis is looking over Peggy's shoulder or a girlfriend. Your comments are being talked about inbetween send and recieve. But be assured they are probably good comments. You know how women yak, yak, yak
I got a cage full of chickens that do the same thing, even while their eating....
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Yes, rock I understand. Dang those web cams, you can't see everything that is happening in the room. You can tell when Peggy is talking with someone else. She doesn't try and hide it.
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Well, two things. Plan B eliminated me. So she was real. Not that it really matters, Peggy is where my head is at completely. I felt bad for both women. One for stringing her along and for not being completely truthful with Peggy. I.E. Peggy would ask if she was the only one and I would say yes. Well, now she really is. Maybe Plan B could tell.
Second, Peggy went to her daughters to help her through some kind of trouble with her job. Peggy is watching the granddaughter, something she really didn't want to do for 2 weeks. I am not sure why?
Three days ago Peggy said she would like to go get a web cam for her computer there in Shaoguan. I suggested she not do that since she is not working but helping daughter. I told her that I could wait to see her on camera when she got back to Shenzhen. We talked a little more and then she asked, "do you want to see me?" I told her yes, very much. Then I went on to say, save your money we can see each other when you get back.
Well, I think she mis-understood and we haven't talked in 3 days. I have sent IM's twice a day but there has been no reply. I do not think she is even going on the computer.
I have her phone number and will call her tonight. It will cost $1.99 a minute. I have tried the other services that cost $0.18 a minute but there is always a problem.
This is driving me crazy because I think she may be upset with me over a non-issue.
Shaun
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Shaun use skype yahoo messanger eather one they are alot cheapper then 1.99 a minute.
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I think sending SMS's is expensive in China as well - my lady doesn't use them anymore, I guess she must have got a big phone bill. QQ is the way forward I think, although worryingly my lady has reported that she sometimes doesn't see that I am online even when I am. This might explain some days when we don't speak.
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Shaun , when she asked the Question you answered correctly "yes , very much ' that should have been all of your answer , simple answers from the heart are always better than confusing answers , regards Ying and Robert .
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Shaun use skype yahoo messanger eather one they are alot cheapper then 1.99 a minute.
Maxx I have tried using yahoo messenger and it keeps telling me I need to log out but it has to be up to get to that page. I will try it again in a few minutes because I want to talk to her very soon.
Robert, now you tell me. :-/
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Shaun, try Skype out, I use it all the time and it works pretty well 9 times out of 10. It costs cents per minute to a Chinese mobile.
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Shaun did you try,,, http://www.rebtel.com/en/Home/
For some reason my QQ won't let me sign in? and I can't get help for I don't read CHINESE? :huh:
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Argh!!!!!!! :icon_twisted::icon_mad::huh: Vince, I tried rebtel last week, so I tried it again per your suggestion. Finally it accepts money from me. I get the info in. I make the call. It rings... and rings... and rings... and... no answer!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!! :icon_twisted::icon_mad::huh:
I don't think it is possible for her to know it is me, so that isn't an issue. But it looks like all women are the same when it comes to cell phones. They are nowhere near them when they ring.
Shaun
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I'd let her know I was calling on a certain number, incase? She can call you (free for her) you know?
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in China they charge you for the calls both ways to a cell phone.If Peggy is out of the area where her simm card is from.It can get real expensive real quck.If she doesn't have the right card for the area she is in she isn't going to answer the phone.
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shaun, when your babysitting, you end up with NO TIME to do anything. And I'm also thinking that the cell isn't connecting, as if your out of time or out of town, your provider might not access that area. It's a pain in the arse with cells. Consider she might be in the house which can cut off the signal. Hell, I have Verison and am just a few miles from the tower, and it still gives crappy signals and dropped calls, so keep trying, you'll get through and I know she misses you anyway.
Another thing, in your writings, you mentioned that she is frugal and knows how to not spend money and save. When it comes to getting a pension or not getting a pension, I'll bet she understands that for sure. and with graduation, she being chinese, knows family comes first, so relax, your still in the game.
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OK, so after re-inventing the wheel with ad hammer and chisel, I finally manage to get money into Rebtel. :dodgy: I enter the number and call last night; Nothing... :@ I call this morning; Nothing except Verizon tells me that no one is answering... DUH, but it is a different response. :@ So, I start checking all the parameters... What? There are 2 5's. I look at number scrawled out on paper, there are not 2 5's in the number. :@:dodgy::blush: I re-enter the number and call... No answer... I try to contact Rebtel... Can't get a response from them... I email them... It says it may take 24 hours for a response!!! :dodgy:
So, I wait an hour and call again... It rings about 7 times... then silence... I am thinking NOT AGAIN :dodgy:... Then suddenly out of the heavens, this beautiful sexy voice says something I absolutely cannot understand... IT'S HER!!!!!! :icon_biggrin::icon_biggrin: YES YES I have finally reached her. My palms begin sweating and my heart is racing and I am in hog heaven... She says something I cannot understand again... It was at this point that I realized I had said nothing at all, so I said, "Xin Jiao." She rattled something off in Chinese and I said, "Xin Jiao," and she said "Shaun?" I said yes? She started saying something in Chinese but I definitely heard her say Shaun. We tried talking a little. She told me they were eating dinner.
Long story short. She is going back to Shenzhen tomorrow and will contact me via computer when she gets there. I said OK. Then she said something I really needed to hear her say. She said, "Shaun, I love you." The words that will calm the savage beast. All it good. I'm happy and calm. And yes, I told her I loved her too.
Shaun
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I'm Glad for you shaun, Told you that all was ok didn't I. Next time relax, your getting nervious, hands shaking, can't think, relax my friend she has you hooked and isn't letting go. Keep in mind that she isn't American, she's chinese and your a good catch, she will keep you.
And I told you verison sucked. I think they overcharge anyway.
Hey, think I hear my girlfriend calling....BAAAAA...wonder if they have
chinese sheep......LOL LOL
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Rock, your sick! It would be Zhaaa or xiaaa! Verizon wanted $1.99 a minute plus a $100.00 deposit. The x left me almost 2 months behind on all the bills and it is a chore catching up on 1 salary. Verizon, water and power are the difficult one to work with, everyone else has been understanding.
Rock Rebtel, like Vince and Nik said, is the way to go. It is $0.019 a minute. It rook me a while to get working. But I am there and glad of it.
Mike, thanks and you are right. I had been avoiding the "L" word but there is no denying it. She's got me hooked and she knows it.
Shaun
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Verison, has a 1.99 friends or family package that is only 1.99 a day, and talk as much as you want. But I don't know if verison is in china. If it is, you should be able to call her for 1.99 a day, and talk as long as you want. I have it, and if I call someone who's on verison, it just tells me that there is no-charge for the call. Might want to check it out.
Love the xxiaaaaaa, wonder if they have chinese eye's, long black hair, I know they are family orented....lol lol Not to mention, once a year you get a wool coat for xmas....ha ha ha
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I went to Verizon last week since I am eligible for an updated phone. I have a Palm Centro piece of doodoo. Worst phone I ever owned. I thought maybe I would get the droid. Guess what, it doesn't do international yet.
I checked into calling China. I do not have an international plan and my phone doesn't support it. W/O the international plan China is $1.99 a minute. What a rip. The only phone they have worth using for international is a Blackberry and I won't get one. Hopefully they will update the Droid before I leave for China whenever that is. I do know it will happen before April 1st.
I'm still waiting for my passport to be returned. Then I get to file for the visa.
Shaun
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Droid? You mean Android? The Google phone? The Acer is currently the best bang for the buck and it will get updated to Android 2.0 (1.6 is current). Only flaw is battery life ... you can even get QQ mobile on Android.
There are some nice ones coming out in march, I'll get one, HTC Saga they call it over here, the real iPhone killer finally, after so many failed attempts.
PS: any phone with GSM capability will work as a basic phone in China. Even your old piece of doodoo I think. What I'm trying to figure out is how to get 3G broadband on prepaid in China. If anyone has any clues, I'm a taker :D
Frank
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In America it is called the Droid. It is a google phone made my Motorola. I'll try to hold out for the Droid. The international capabilities may happen Feb. 1. Hopefully the price will be down then too.
Shaun
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Well, I am back on cloud 9 again. Two days ago I finally made contact with Peggy via telephone. She told me she would be headed back to Shenzhen the next day.
Last night she was back on the computer. I was so happy, but she was still in Shaoguan, unhappy and sick. She has a bad cold. She told me she would not talk about her daughter then later told me she was on her daughters computer. I will be able to talk with her tomorrow morning when she is in Shenzhen.
We professed out love for each other several times.
I have become concerned about one issue though. She is 46 and it seems her memory is either very short or she is testing me. I am not sure. She told me she thought I said I would be there in one month. She would not give me a date she expected me but one month.
I told her that it did not give me much time to sell the house and business and move all my remaining things to Oklahoma. She acted like this was all new with her and we had to discuss it all over again.
She didn't want me to sell the store until I explained all of the dynamics and then she said she agreed that I should sell the store.
Is this normal with Chinese women? I am not sure what to think. I have noticed this before and it got us into an argument once before. This time I didn't argue I simply went through it again. Then she said, "I am sorry do you still love me?" This statement is what makes me think it was a test. The test was to check my patience with her and see if I would argue again. I think.
Any comments?
Shaun
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Shuan, it doesn't sound like she's testing, it sounds like she realizes she's coming on strong or taking control (however she views it) and catches herself.
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Vince, if you are right then I am going to have to become a lot more diplomatic and have the 24 hour rule embedded in me. If she can find the key though I will give her anything she wants. ("Must hide the key." with the voice of smigel):icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun , it is called information overload , do not forget Peggy to make sense of what you are saying converts your ramblings into Chinese so she can understand it in her mind , therefore if you talk about 4 different things in the 1 session she will be lucky to remember half of it that is why you must keep to the K I S S method to keep things straight , back in your initial ideas you were looking at jumping across around Christmas and being excited that was what she remembers , no good giving 3 different ideas , because in China things get done tomorrow if not sooner , just try in the states if you move into a new house or apartment getting cable etc up and running within 48 hours , that is slow in China , regards Ying and Robert .
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I see what you are saying Robert and it makes some sense. The original plan I would have left 2 days ago. When the airplane prices went to $4600.00 I gave up and I told her. Unfortunately everything is so fluid right now that I cannot set a date. Once I can I will tell her.
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4600 Dollars!! What's that for a ''First Class'' ticket?? ....hahaha!!
David...
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David, When I went to bed it was at $1200.00 to the next morning at $4600.00 for the same ticket. Coach!!!:icon_eek:
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Yes actually the plane is full then ... at that rate they overbook and kick somebody off if needed (usually the ones who paid 1200 ^^)
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Shaun, that's only because the airlines knew you were coming...ha
for that much money, you should get prime rib, a foot & back massage and get to help the pilot fly the damn thing, not to mention free drinks and all kinds of perks. (hot & topless stew's)
Stick to one subject at a time. It can be frustrating for her to assimulate all you know or want in one session, since there is a language barrier of a sort between you. Take one day at a time and go slow, it's starting to sound like a couple of teenager's in love. Don't rush it my friend, you both have the rest of your life's together to figure it out. I did that and just confussed the girl I first wrote to, along with her interpeter. I think the interpeter just gave up and translated a general overall letter, not what I was trying to say. Screwed everything up for both of us. We just gave up.
I think with her wanting to know about your business, sounds like she is thinking like a wife in a family way. Wanting to help you and help withthe family decisions. Nothing serious, just being helpful. It sounds as though she is very serious about starting a family with you, and is countig on you to do the right thing and marry her.
Also, your looking for a business, why don't you start the FIRST honest china love web site, they make lots of money, you could not only be honest but undercut the competition a little. If I knew you had one going, I'd be the first to sign up. No retouched photo's or BS translators. You would not even have to leave home, just stay at home with mamma.
Of course you'd have to have tons of control when all those girls come in to sign up and explain to you'r wife your really not looking....ha ha.
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Rocky,
I tried to talk to her about an agency once. Man you talking about opening up a can of worms. I do have some ideas on how to make a good one. I learned how little trust she had for men right now. The next three conversations were about this one issue. Finally we came to an understanding. She would trust me as long as I never mentioned starting an agency again. She got burned by her husband pretty bad and it is something she is working on. But Rocky, you are on the money with the idea. It will take a little time though.
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I have been talking with Peggy for 4 1/2 hours. She said the following; "I believe that people will say that we are a good ten feet a pair of women's"
Does anyone know what this means?
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Is that the original text? Or did she write something in chinese? If you have the chinese, I think we can translate it better.
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That is simple Shaun , ha ha , what Peggy has said is "I believe people will say we are a good couple " ie;two feet is a couple ,ie;pair of women's is a couple , one has to think outside the square , regards Ying and Robert .
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Robert I see what you are saying but I do not understand the parallel. It is 10 feet and pair of women. Is it a saying in China?
I would have asked her this evening but she had to go.
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Perhaps it means that she has a large shoe size...haha or you do...
I think it means you both walk the same path in the same shoes...but hey I haven't got a clue why 10 feet. It means I think, that you both think the same....that works don't it?
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She tried to explain it and Robert came the closest with, "I believe people will say we are a good couple."
I still can't connect the 10 feet and pair of women. :huh::huh::huh:
Shaun
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Shaun , ten feet is 2 feet , regards Robert .
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If you explain that all us men need an honest agency we can rely on, and are willing to spend lots of money just for that honesty, and the fact that lots of us have been burned before also. Perhaps if you mention that this is a job you both can run together? That may help. I don't know why one would turn down a business prospect that would turn over money like that, after reading on here the amount of money these customers and ladys put out just to use the system. That's one hell of a money maker over there!
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Rocky, It will depend on where Peggy's head is at when I get there. I think maybe she has suffered some abuse from her ex husband. I may get the whole story, I may not but the first thing is that I will have to build some trust in her.
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I think over the last few days Peggy and I have got some break though in our relationship.
I think there may still be a few trust issues. We have talked all around her daughters issues without her really telling me what the issues were. I have always respected that boundary and have never pried to find out.
Last night she asked me what I thought and to confirm her decision with an issue regarding her daughter. I said I would listen to her but I would need to know more about her daughters issues. I didn't want to push her but I felt I needed to know at least some of it if I as going to confirm her decision. She told everything. There was no pushing at all from me.
When she finished I had two different feelings. 1. I wanted to laugh (I did not) because in my estimation I have been more difficult to her than her daughter's difficulties. The funny things is that the issues are not bad at all and relates to real life. 2. I was humbled that Peggy would share with me in such detail. What did I say to her? I confirmed her decision 100%. It was kind of awkward because her decision was to not help her daughter but to continue to spend time talking with me until I can get there and stay with me after I got there. I told her that the two of us might be able to help on a limited bases after I got there. Peggy was excited about my response.
This morning was a special kind of for us. I am having difficulty trying to explain this without saying more than I want to. I am sure that we all have concerns and doubts about the physical side of the relationship. I am the same. Peggy has always been reserved in talking about this aspect. Today she was a little braver with her talk. So much so that she embarrassed herself and turned her camera off for about 10-15 minutes. I wont tell you what she said but on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being pornographic it was about a 3. It was enough to let me know that there are desires and passion there. That is all I need to know.
Well of course you know she now has my whole attention at this point. She was so cute... I was drawn so close to her at that moment... Man, I have tried not to but I have fallen so much for her... But rather than going completely into the gutter it gave me the opportunity to talk with her openly and speak candidly about how we both feel as grown adults who have experienced marriage and children. I reassured her that I had nothing but the utmost respect for her. This has opened up more of a trust with her because I could have had a lot of fun with what she said.
Many of you know that if you open the door for me to make a funny joke I will jump in with both feet. I told her that I would not do that because I valued her feelings and opinions.
I can't wait to go to SZ.
Shaun
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The relationship between Peggy and I has grown to the point that I need to take that next big step and go there. Many of you would say I hit that point a month or two ago. Many loose ends have prevented me from going and I still have a lot to do. But I know I need to go... soon.
My store is not attracting any purchasers except the charlatans of this world. I may have to cut my losses and liquidate.
I am trying to go to China before the Chinese Spring Festival. Don't know if it will happen but I am trying. I still do not have my passport yet. !$&*(#$^_(*@&$
Peggy was not sure if I would come or not because I say "if." This led to, "there is no commitment" in a conversation we had recently. I understand her feeling. So I have wondered, how do I show her I am committed to this relationship?
One of the reoccurring themes in our talks is Peggy saying, "You do not come to China because my English is terrible... You will not marry me because my English is terrible... You will find another woman because my English is terrible..." Sometimes it gets to me but I do have to admit hearing her say, "my English is terrible," is quite fun to listen too. She is so cute how she says it. It still gets to me because we have to re-hash every now and then. I do understand why she feels this way, so I let it go.
Peggy and I have been discussing what to do and where we will live when I get there. e make a decision and everyone is happy. Little sister gets rent for her home in Shenzshen. Nice 1 bedroom loft. 1500RMB $225.00USD
I was concerned as to what she will do until I get there because she is not working and does not go out much. I get this bright idea that she can take English lessons until I arrive. "Oh too much money," she says. I decide I will pay for the English lessons. $150.00USD for 2 months and it will get her out of the house. It will also show commitment from me. Peggy cannot accept and Little Sister and I tell her, "Yes you will." I tell her that it is an investment into our future and a couple and in our business. She accepts.
I ask her to open a Paypal account since they are in China. She does. This morning her account was verified so I tried to send her money. Well, China does not accept foreign currency from Paypal. #*()_^&*)(_#$$
I hope to work this one out. If any of you have any ideas or have managed to get this to work your info would be appreciated.
Shaun
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Should be simple Shaun, send the money in Yuan , but how do you collect it at the other end Paypal is not a bank ? I bet her sister and brotherinlaw have some way of sending money , could you not forward to them to deliver if they are back in the states , regards Ying and Robert .
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Robert,
You would think, but Paypal it appears does not convert to Yuan. I think someone on this site has done it but I cannot remember who or on what thread.
I hope to talk with Peggy a little later since I cannot see what she does in China. I can see it, I just can't read it. It would take forever with google.
Sister and brother-in-law should be able to help but Peggy leans on them too much already (my opinion) and I am trying to get her to chart her own territory. They will be gone in 16 days and we need to have our own means. But all good ideas. I may have to fall back on it but want to exhaust all options first.
Shaun
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Shaun I have been using Moneygram to send money to my wife. Costs $10 Canadian each time I send. There are many branches in Shenzhen for Peggy to go to to get the money. She just needs to bring ID. www.moneygram.com
I always send as US dollars and Yan gets it in RMB at the other end. The moneygram branches in China are all located in banks.
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Thank you Ron. I will discuss with Peggy.
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Just a thought Shaun , for Western Union or Moneygram , I would be sure to be sure , that who it is going to is , as is on her I D card which is to be sure to be sure not Peggy , regards Ying and Robert .
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I sent Nina money with Paypal. Once. It was the biggest hassle ever. Took her over a month to straighten it all out. Paypal is great in Canada and the US, but there are a lot of hassles via China. Name? Xin Ruan or Ruan Xin or her name in Chinese? Currency? It's just a big pain in the ass.
I've been using Western Union, but I might try Moneygram.
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I also tried to use PayPal but between the language issues and the currency controls it was a nightmare. I did actually send my lady some cash, but I don't think she could do anything with it as the withdrawl fees were huge.
Western Union are very expensive, and once the various parties get their cut you're left with a big hole where money once was.
I think a few brothers here have had success with direct deposits into their lady's bank account.
Personally I send 100RMB notes in envelopes or parcels to my lady's work address. I put in a maximum of 500RMB a go, and so far none of it has gone missing.
Obviously be aware of sending too much cash to a lady you've never met :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Just got off the phone with paypal. It appears that Peggy has set her account to not receive money from international accounts. It is possible to receive other forms of currency. I do not think it was intentional, maybe a default. Paypal is sending an email to her to correct the problem. She has already worked the banking issues out.
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I just spent the scariest day in relationship with Peggy yesterday. Yesterday morning we were talking. At the beginning of our conversation I reminded her that I needed to be off of the computer by 9:30am so that I could get to work on time. I had been getting to work Saturdays and Sundays later and later and later... Even though I am the owner I still need to be punctual. About 9:25 I said we needed to wind the conversation up so that I could go and she said bye.
Well I wasn't quite finished as I usually will tell her a few things I like about her and then say goodbye. As I was telling her the video feed went out. Twice I told her that I could not see her... Nothing happened which generally means she has turned the chat off. Then she responded with a few things that had nothing to do with the conversation. She talked about doing homework... I asked if I could see her. NO comments for a minute or two and then some more conversation that did not make sense. Well, I got angry and I told her I didn't want to play that game and it was to late because NOW I have to go to work. I turned off my camera feed and closed the conversation window. Then she got angry and had a few things to say then shut her computer down.
I am thinking what just happened here? I took a shower and then left her a few emails trying to smooth things over. All day at work I am thinking about it and decide that I will write a long letter when I get home and try to explain the reactions and how we both still react to things based on out previous marriages and that when we hit that area we must slow down and carefully resolve the issue. I knew I would have 2 1/2 hours to compose the letter before she came on the computer.
When I got home and turned on my computer she was there waiting for me. I think uh-oh. I am about to get my head ripped off and handed to me on a platter. We started into the conversation and we were not connecting at all. I was getting you do not love me... you still love your ex-wife... you do not trust me... I was trying to reign her in and said something about the previous conversation and she went off like a rocket. She told me that she remembered the conversation and it went nothing like that. She said I never said that the camera feed was off and then she said she was crying and needed to go lay down.
Now I am really confused and wondering if she is schizophrenic? She is gone about 45 minutes and she comes back and begins telling me we will not be able to find happiness together. I tell her that this is not complex but a simple misunderstanding and could not possible determine future happiness. She said but you did not tell me and I said yes I did that I re-read the conversation. She said let me see it. I cut and pasted it in.
There was a long period of silence. Of course her camera had been off the whole time so I didn't know what was happening. I know here sister is there and that sometimes she is coaching Peggy. They really want Peggy and I to marry. Then she writes, "I am sorry I am wrong." I tell her that I am sorry for getting angry and then I say when we have issues like the we need to slow down and walk carefully through them. She agreed. Then we get back to normal and the camera comes back on. I am happy it is resolved.
I know this is long and too revealing but I have a purpose in writing this. She is still very important to me and I think that this relation can work for the both of us very well.
For those of you who are married and have spent considerable time with your wife. 1.) Is it normal for a Chinese woman to take this kind of stance? 2.) Is running off and crying for a long time normal? (I know the whole time was not crying but was consulting with sister and who ever might help her.) 3.) Did I handle this all wrong? 4.) Was it wrong to show her she was wrong with the evidence? It sure changed the whole argument.
Jim, Ed, Arnold, David5o, Willy, Robert, Ted, butt, Chong, Peter, and others... Please give me insight.
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Shaun,
sometimes chinese women are so unpredictable. you will have conversations
about something you dont even know happened but i find out it is usually
just the language barrier. my wife paid to get better english and i am still
not sure exactly what she paid for??? but i stay calm and talk with her and
we resolve it that way. i usually have to peel the conversation like an onion.
what frustrates me though is when she looks at me and tries to read me and
is always wrong when she does as far as if i am mad or not. i finally got her to
understand when i get excited i talk loud and that does not mean i am mad now.
and by excited i dont mean what some of you will be thinking hahahaha just
communicate with her and peel the conversation in a calm rational way and it
will be alright.
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Shaun , first things first , as bright as she may be when you are talking time use 24 hour clock in Chinese time , if she knows that it is say 18.30 in her time she will be organized to that , Never get angry with a Chinese lady especially one that you care for it will always backfire , so if you do not create a problem , you do not have to waste time and energy apologizing , in 12 months Ying and I have never had a hint of a cross word either way , but she has cried a couple of times for other reasons , which we have overcome very quickly .
You will find Chinese women are very soft and almost fragile in their feelings and once they give you their heart are very vulnerable especially if they have been verbally hurt before . It is a 2 way street , but donot confuse her with right or wrongs just as Ted has said you can peel back the layers slowly and get a better result .
Do not drag up the past on either side , she will tell you if and when she is ready , but most Chinese women live for today and beyond , not last week or last year , and you should to not the whys and wherefores of any previous relationships , regards Ying and Robert .
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To be honest Shaun - I am a bit concerned that you are having these sort of problems and you have not even met up yet?
What will happen when you do actually meet - what sort of disagreements will you have then. If I remember correctly this is not the first time something like this has happened.
To me there is a problem here - during the day you are thinking of what to say to smooth things over and all during that time she is thinking the opposite way as was obvious by what she came out with to start with.
Ok she had a previous bad marriage but she appears to be paranoid about previous relationships. Not a good sign at this early stage. What will she be like a few years down the line.
I have been with my lady coming on for four months now and to be honest if she came out with the sort of reaction that your lady did and then to keep it boiling up all day over what was probably a reasonable reaction then I doubt I we would ever reach five months together- I would be like Superman Up, Up and Away!!!
Ok a couple are going to have a problem now and then but to have them at this stage is not good. I cannot think of anyone on here who has had such a turbulent time in the early days as you have.
I think that the problem here is Shaun is that you are too ready to say sorry and for you to try and patch things up.
She goes storming off and comes back 45 minute later and is still cracking on and it is you who tries to calm things doen by being condescending to her.
What I have noticed is that the average Chinese lady does not like a man to appear unmanly. They have been brought up with Chinese men all their lives and it is probably in her genes and they want their men to be men and take charge - even though she will 'guide' you but they want strong leadership.
As you say you like her and you want it to work then in my humble opinion you and her are going to have some straight talking and you are going to have to take the lead and tell her what you expect and do not expect from a wife and she to tell you what she expects.
If she does not take kindly to that then you will probably have your answer. Obviously you need to follow the 24 hour rule, which of course will give you time to digest many more views than just mine.
If you do go ahead as you two have displayed here then it will be one hell of a volatile relationship and maybe would not be one that I would go halfway around the world to take part in.
It is your decision my friend but I doubt if many, if any, of the married men on this forum have ever embarked on a relationship such as you have at present.
They all talk of the loving, the kindness, the thoughfulness not of virtual rows .
Willy
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hey Willy,
it also takes a man to admit when he is wrong also
i dont think chinese men do that and that it is one of our
good qualities to be able to do that. just my 2 cents worth
hahaha
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hey Willy,
it also takes a man to admit when he is wrong also
i dont think chinese men do that and that it is one of our
good qualities to be able to do that. just my 2 cents worth
hahaha
Exactly and the Chinese women get taken by suprise when a man does admit he is wrong and apologises. They are not used to it and some take it as a sign of weakness.
But then as you know Ted I am rarely if ever wrong!!!!! :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Well maybe just once a day -it lasts from the time I get up till the time I go to bed.
Willy
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Where's my rocking chair I feel a story coming up??
In communicating I found my lady is stubborn (we both are) and sometimes is on the edge of pissing me off. On the phone twice she didn't say anything but in the few seconds between chatting she set the phone down and went off to do something (open the curtain,etc). To myself I'm like WTF? talking to myself here? By the second time in a letter (so she understands) not to do this. Say I will be right back or hold on? something? She understands it now. I guess it's a cultural thing not used like in the west?
I also told her a while back that even though we agree on mostly everything not to think she will be spoiled and able to do whatever she pleases. I told her the only thing I could come up with which was I would never allow her to bleach her hair blond? She understood. This came about for the reason I am giving her free rein when she moves here to decorate or get what she wants to feel comfortable like a home.
I think Shaun was just fixing a problem not thinking of taking the lead. It was a miscommunication but it's best for him to lay the rules down also. He has to go to work at a certain time and she should respect that.
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yes me to
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Shaun,
I'm a lot luckier than most here, as Lucy is fluent in English. That's not to say she doesn't get the wrong end of the stick from time to time!! lol!!
The Chinese women can be fickle at times Shaun, they need to know at all times that what there doing ''is right'' They seem to be obsessed with knowing there a good wife for you, and when they think there not, or ''think'' they have upset you, they take all the blame!! It took a lot of reassuring during the early times, to get it accross to her, that her existence doesn't revolve around me being happy all the time... It revolves around ''US'' being happy working together in a partnership, not a dictatorship!!
We've been together now over 3 years, and she knows my make-up and i know hers. So these days we rarely argue (not that we did much before) and misunderstandings are few and far between. Unlike many here, i'm not one to appologise for something i haven't done, or am not responsible for. But i do believe in talking through misunderstandings and misrepresentations to clear things up in each others minds. I'm a bit of an old romantic underneath my public facade, so whenever we do have a misunderstanding, whether my fault or hers, I'll go out of my way to show her she is a very loved, wanted and needed woman. After such times we nearly always go out for a romantic meal at our favourite restaurant, and always have a much earlier night than normal!! ...haha!!
And after all that, She still comes out with, ....''I'll follow you!!!'' hahaha!! Go Figure!! lol!!
So the best advise i can give you Shaun, ....Is to always be YOURSELF, and more importantly, be a CONFIDENT SELF, ....don't try and be someone or something your Not!!!
David....
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Shaun
I wouls also share Willy's concern about where you and melody are at.
Might it be that you are trying to cover too much ground on QQ. trying to wring out all the fine detail of a future relationship ???
You know my own views about what to avoid until you are "face-to-face". Once you begin the "love and marriage" discussions, you have stepped into a different World, a World that is so difficult for both parties, when they have never met and are only "virtual" partners.
I think from her perspective she wants to be certain that this is all for real...but it cant be, you are not yet a real person. From your perspective, you want the same.............but you dont know much about her either. In fact you cant know much about her until the day you actually meet.
Arguements on Internet are futile, too easy to switch off QQ and leave things hanging, too easy to misunderstand and too easy to hurt without understanding.
Slow down Buddy, take a deep breath, keep aways from "forever. marriage etc" at least until you can make a firm plan to meet.....get to know each other as best you can on QQ.
The reality arrives when you step off the plane in China :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David
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David you are absolutely right. I think this is the main issue. Peggy has been pushing for me to marry her and I have said no decision until I spend time with her in China. We are talking right now about it. She confessed that she worries that I do not love her and she does not want to be led down a path of deception. I can understand that.
She has been told by other men that they love her only to find out they did not really love her. Her husband used her as a stepping stone to get to another station in life. As we talk and unpack what happen yesterday I think it is insecurity that caused the issue.
I think there are so many unknowns and her sister keeps pushing her that she is trying to make sure everything that happens satisfies her sister. The sister is to leave for the US soon and I am hoping that she settles down.
Shaun
Oh and everyone thanks for your input. It has been extremely helpful. I think we got to the bottom of the matter today and things are settling down.
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Shaun, I said something similar to someone a while ago on here. My question/concern is about you and her and the sister. Does she (aka, Peggy) really want this relationship/marriage or is she being nagged by her sister? If so, how much of it is her wants and how much of it is what her sister wants. That is a key thing. You want to be able to communicate with her properly without having her sister be there for issues.
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Shaun
I have some sympathy with your "sister" issues.
Ming's sister was very prominent in our early conversations and always seemed to be wanting to discuss the "big ticket" items...marriage, finances, future children and such.
I began to think that it was all sisters agenda and Ming maybe was going along with it.
So....I firmly but politely stomped on it. I said to both Ming and Sister:
1) I will not make a marriage committment until we have met face-to-face..it is non-negotiable.
2) I would never consider telling someone whom I had never met that I was in love with her.
3) I respect and admire that sister is looking after her interests but sister is not going to drive this relationship.
4) If she did not agree with what I have said here, then I would walk away from the relationship.
If, on the other hand, she was prepared to make an investment of time in our relationship, then I will committ to go to China on 10th Feb to meet her and that my intentions in looking for a Chinese Lady was marriage and not just fun.
That completely cleared the air :):)...and both have been very sensible since and there has been no friction any more.
David
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Reg and David,
Reg I do believe Peggy is doing what she wants in this relationship. I think she allows her sister to help because her sister has been successful and they are doing very well. I think Peggy has been hurt a couple of times by men and is a very sensitive woman.
Last night I reminded Peggy what I have said all along. I think I had relaxed a lot and was just enjoying the conversations and not looking for problems or sister issues. I allowed the sister to take command really without realizing it. I took command of the situation and told Peggy the way it is going to be and it was funny but everything straightened right out. The sister backed right off and went back upstairs to mind her own business. Peggy does not try to hide when she is talking with her sister.
Peggy seemed relieved and much happier than I have seen in several days that I stepped up to the plate and all she was concerned was if I loved her or not and if I would come to see her. She did not insist on a date as she has in the past since about the 30th.
I can tell that Peggy likes me taking charge and being the man in her life. We will see how the next few days go.
Shaun
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My lady is very stubborn. She doesn't like talking about important things. Today we talked about snow and animated bananas.
We no longer have a translator. This bothers me tremendously. There are so many important things I want to say, but find it difficult to talk about on QQ. I wonder if I really need to say the things after all, or just put my trust in my lady and hope that everything will turn out OK.
I've found that I have to SUGGEST things to my lady, and if she likes the idea she will do it.
I've never met a Chinese lady who is a shrinking violet. My Chinese teacher has made such a big impression on me I keep dreaming about being in her class! I am quickly learning characters so I don't end up getting humiliated in the class next term :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Today we talked about snow and animated bananas.
Hahaaa ... thanks Brett, that made my day, I needed some cheering up!
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animated bananas?
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(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)
(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)(http://www.singerwang.com/chnlove.info/banana.gif)
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Reg,
I think you got yourself a new nick name. Green Banana Man or Sir Squats a Lot. :icon_cheesygrin: I am not sure which one fits the best?
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Shaun, take charge, your the man! who are you marrying the sister or Peggy? I have a family member who is a nag also, what a pain she is, so I know what your going through. What's up with the dancing bananna's ??? I am sorry your conversations with Peggy have turned to dancing bananna's ..... ha ha ha LOL
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I would never consider telling someone whom I had never met that I was in love with her.
I used to think this was a hard saying, but I incline to this view now.
When you think about your good friendships, they are built up over time through the sharing of experiences, in their presence, hearing them talk, having a laugh together, seeing their smile, the way they act.
It is quite a different thing to what happens when you're passing messages back and forth, through email and emf's.
I do not fully understand the mechanisms at work here, but I think at the heart of it, the difference arises from the fact that we are much more than "words and mind".
There is a whole lot of who we are which is cannot be known by words alone: body, relationships, behaviour, gestures, smiles, things like that . . . which can only be known person to person.
The only way you will ever really know someone, to grow with them, and learn to trust them, is to spend time with the person.
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You will get no arguement from me on this subject Danny.......I have maintained this view all along....and I have posted about it...and I have been blasted about it :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
The Internest is an insidious Mistress, we can interact with remote people in a way that humans have never been able to...with deep, deep intimacy and yet with absolutely no physical contact.
It is truly a "virtual" situation and the line between virtual and real gets very blurred, especially when we are corresponding and interacting with a beautiful woman who could well be our future partner, who at the same time is encouraging us to step over the line of reality.
It is not surprising that many folk imagine that they are in love at this point...and if that is what "floats yer boat"...then so be it.
But humans did not evolve in any way to cope with this methodology of partner selection. For nearly 2 million years we have selected partners based on up-close and personal experiences........the pheromone thing and the actual observation of shared experience is one of the key drivers of human interaction.
Internet relationships skew this behaviour model and can get us very screwed up !!
Problem is, once you begin to use the "marriage and love" card, you enter a new dimension in the relationship, a dimension that legitimises the relationship and makes it terribly difficult to withdraw if things go pear shaped when you finally meet and discover that in reality, you are not compatible !!
It is healthy to acknowlege to self and to our prospective partner that there is a strong attraction, that there is a possibility of marriage and forever....but in my view it must always be qualified with the conditional clause "when we meet and fall in love"
David
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You will get no arguement from me on this subject Danny.......I have maintained this view all along....and I have posted about it...and I have been blasted about it :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David
AMEN!
Has anyone yet proved your arguemnt flawed or wrong. Not that I have read. Keep it up and there are many who support your facts.
buzz
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David E,
I agree totally and I couldn't of put any better myself!!
The one thing we often forget here, ...is that while writing, messaging, and QQing, webcamming etc, you are basically only hoping, wishing and dreaming that this woman is the right one for you, because you have nothing real to base the relationship on. So better to use this time finding out things about each other, trying to cover just about anything and everything, the important things and the not so important things. Because even when you do meet, it's normally only going to be for 2 or 3 weeks in most cases. So at least you'll have a pretty broad background on each other, that's not going to eat into that brief time you have together. But you both really do have to be honest with yourself and each other during this time, or it's going to go pear shaped pretty dammed quick!!!
You really do need to meet her, experience her, to know anything for sure about her, and her about you!! (and definitely before committing to a marriage) The interaction between you both, coupled with desire and that all important natural compatibility, are the key mechanisms to a successful and fulfilling relationship.
When all this is in place, you are then communicating between each other ''with Real memories'', not just dreams, hopes and wishing, when your back in your own country...
David
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My parents were married for almost 75 years, never had an argument, never cheated, loved each other till the end. Love is not just sex in fact, love is not sex. True love is understanding, faithfulness, trust, and devotion to each other. When you have been together for some time, and the newness has worn off, what love becomes is a sincere and unbreakable friendship not shared with others. If you fall in love over the internet, the sex is out and what you gain is trust and a deep friendship that is unbreakable, since you are sharing your most intimante thoughts with your other. Things that would otherwise never come up or be replaced with sex. I believe that writing and qq'ing let you share your serious thoughts and wishes with the other person as well as for them to do the same. I agree that being with that person is great, holding hands and kissing and sex, but that is physical and after a while it gets old, and you can get bored, when your bored, you start looking, that is the reason for so many divorces. A couple should get to know the other persons thoughts and hopes and wishes first, and writing lets you get to know them first, begin a friendship that will last a lifetime.
I don't know if I'm making any sence here, but in the end, my parents were as close as when they begin. If you asked my mother about somthing, she would say, ask my husband, if you ask my father somthing he would say the same thing. Nether one would do anything without the other's ok. That is what love is about.
I don't know if you understand what I am saying, but it comes down to love is a very deep and sincere friendship and trust between two people.
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That's a bit deep for a cowboy Rocky??
Every word is true what you say. Sex isn't everything in relationship. Sometimes we go a whole 24 hours without it!! But we have a long way to go to reach your parents grand marital age.
I will be happy to get to half that time.
Willy
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If you fall in love over the internet, the sex is out and what you gain is trust and a deep friendship that is unbreakable, since you are sharing your most intimante thoughts with your other. Things that would otherwise never come up or be replaced with sex. I believe that writing and qq'ing let you share your serious thoughts and wishes with the other person as well as for them to do the same. I agree that being with that person is great, holding hands and kissing and sex, but that is physical and after a while it gets old, and you can get bored, when your bored, you start looking, that is the reason for so many divorces. A couple should get to know the other persons thoughts and hopes and wishes first, and writing lets you get to know them first, begin a friendship that will last a lifetime.
Rocky
I don't think that anyone would argue with what you've written.
Writing letters can be a very valuable and meaningful activity. The exchange of thoughts and hopes and wishes can be a wonderful and very significant time.
Nor do I suggest that it is necessary to hold hands, kiss or have sex, to fall in love with a woman. In fact, in my sitution, I did none of these things during my first visit to my woman.
However what I meant to write was that it is better for someone who is seriously interested in a woman (eg a woman who has been found from a website like chnlove) to hold back from saying that they have really fallen in love with a woman, until they actually meet the woman in person.
If we have learned anything from our time together at this forum, we have found that there is often a whole lot of difference between the woman you think you are writing to, and the woman you meet when you travel to meet her. And this is the case even where you are not actively deceived by the agency and/or translator.
I do believe it is possible to be infatuated by a woman's appearance, her letters and the way she interacts with you through a webcam. But in my experience and opinion, you do not know her sufficiently well until you have spent time with her, person to person.
It's only a general rule, a suggestion, and people are free to do as they wish. There's that saying, fools rush in where angels fear to tread *laughs*
Danny
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Rocky, Danny,
Your both making perfect sense in both your posts......
David....
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on second thought they look like green chilis
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Reg,
It looks like no one agrees so I withdraw my joke.
Shaun
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Rocky,
Jeez!! how old were they when they got married?? I've not met or come accross anyone married for that amount of time. I think the longest i can remember was an aunt and uncle that were married 63 or 64 years and they were both in their late eighties, when they passed away!! (within 3 months of each other) That's a Bloody long time!! haha!!
David....
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My father passed when he was 89 and my mother passed at the ripe old age of 94.
Shaun, you did it a little backward, first you had animal sex, then your starting to know her.....ha ha lol lol
kind of like testing a product before you buy....(snicker) shaun youve gone from wife hunter to consumer....ha
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Well a lot has happened since my last post. It feels like I am exposing everything about my relationship with Peggy but at the same time I think this might me useful to those who are just starting. Relationships are not always smooth sailing and most of the problems come from our lack of understanding Chinese women and we step in a pile of #####.
Peggy and I have had several issues that threatened the future of our relationship and mostly due to my stupidity. If you have been married any length of time to a liberal feminist western woman you have lost some of your leadership qualities just to keep the peace. The ones you still posses are generally what causes the divorce. At least this is true in my case.
I had not completely moved back into a male leadership type roll and I will give Peggy more room than she is expecting to make decisions and then when I do not think her decision is a good one it causes problems. I can't speak for all Chinese women but Peggy is looking for solid consistent leadership in me and I have not completely given it to her.
After consulting with a few of the more experienced and wiser gentlemen on this site I am having to re-establish some parameters. Peggy is handling it much better than I thought she would. In fact she tell me that she realizes that I love her more because I am setting the boundaries. She is expecting them and knows how to live by them and in their way of thinking it is the way it should be. I can't even begin to tell you the different look she has on her face. She is more relaxes, she smiles more, and she is opening back up to how things were before she discovered I was a little wishy washy.
I do have my suspicions now that some of the translator on chnlove can recognize the lack of leadership qualities in many western men and take advantage of the situation. Thinking back in reading some of the posts back in May and June it seems that the men who had the stronger male leadership qualities seemed to do better in China than those who do not. (If you have had trouble in the past year and are offended by what I just said, don't be. It is my suspicion and we will see if it is close to being factual by some of the comments from the more experienced and successful gentlemen here.)
Now let me clear up one thing here quickly. When I am talking about men providing the leadership for a family I an not talking about being, and forgive me for saying it this way, an ass hole. It has been my observation that there are those who think good leadership is to be domineering and a jerk. Leadership is when others choose to follow because admiration and the keen ability to lead. Brow beaters are not leaders.
More later.
Shaun
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Excellent post Shaun, you are so right about that. Thanks a million,
Frank
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I guess it depends on your lady's upbringing. In my lady's household her mother is in charge. I don't know if it's the same in other parts of China. Strong women are great women :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Every Chinese woman wants their own Chairman Mao at home. :icon_cheesygrin:
I think Shaun can pull it off, he looks somewhat like Mao.
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Shaun that pile sometimes is very big hahaha
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Every Chinese woman wants their own Chairman Mao at home. :icon_cheesygrin:
I think Shaun can pull it off, he looks somewhat like Mao.
No wonder she likes me so much. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun
You have come to a position of great learning (IMHO) :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Western feminism and our legalisation of the equality issues have certainly skewed the traditional roles of male and female in our relationships. I make no comment as to whether this is good or bad....but it sure aint natural !!!
It may well be that as any society evolves, the male/female roles will get blurred and eventually we will all be androgenous...who knows!!
As we know, China is still strongly Patriarchal, male dominated and our Ladies have grown up with this model. In our Western way, we then expect them to jump straight into a relationship of equals.
Because they really want to find their future partner in the West, they try to behave as they think the model they have of the western way suggests they should behave...but they dont really have the background and skills to carry it off successfully....and I for one, dont think they really want that sort of relationship anyway.
But they really dont have many skills to manage a "western" style relationship, and often they have almost no relationship skills at all, because their previous marriage was based on "he's the boss...period".
Brett, dont be fooled by perceptions...Momma is the complete boss when it comes to running the household, organising the family, doing the shopping and all the daily domestic affairs...but in the core issues...Dad is King !!
So I am sure that we should understand this a bit better...try to establish a leadership role, dont be a dictator, have some firm boundaries and let them have their level of control on what they do best...homemaker, friend, confidant and all the lovely womanly things that we miss in our own world.
After all, thats why we come to China in the first place...to find an attractive, charming, intelligent but feminine woman.
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All is well with Peggy and me. We have been talking about many issues. We have a some real turmoil lately but have navigated our way through it quite well.
Biggest issue was that I was planning to go there for three months, take a month or 2 back in the US and then move over. Well? According to the divorce I am to provide insurance until children do not qualify anymore. I told the ex I wanted to quit and asked if she would take the insurance on. She said sure it was OK. Well?????? She got fired and now I have to provide insurance again. I will not be able to quit unless I can find job that provides insurance.
I had to explain all of this to Peggy. After several heated discussions about me breaking a promise and preferring my children and me wanting to remarry my ex, She now understands the issue and accepts it. I think.
I have my passport in hand now and will send it out to get visa. We have set the tentative date as March 31 returning April 10th. Will check flights as soon as Visa arrives. I already have 1 week off at work so now I will ask for 3 more days. Peggy is ecstatic. I am too as I do not know how much longer I can go without seeing her face to face.
If all goes well I will return in June for at least 1 month maybe 2. I told her I wanted to be there for her birthday. You would have thought I bought her the hope diamond.
Shaun
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Good to hear your latest news Shaun,
Just for the Dumbos outside of the USA what insurance do you have to have for your kids? They have nothing like that in the UK.
Willy
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Willy,
The children can be in my medical plan up until 25 if they attend college full time and they have an intended graduation date. That date can change the just need to have a target date. I've got 2 graduating in May. The first is a Piled Higher and Deeper and will be 25 in July. The second gets her BS and will continue until she gets her Masters. The third? Well??? Who knows what he will do.
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Shaun, I didn't answer right away for every state is different. I would look into this if I were you. This part of support, unless you had a agreement outside the law, I believe you have to keep the insurance on them until they are on their own. If they get married, they live on there own with a job or in the military you no longer have to keep insurance even under 25 yo. Are you sure it's not 23?
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Shaun, I didn't answer right away for every state is different. I would look into this if I were you. This part of support, unless you had a agreement outside the law, I believe you have to keep the insurance on them until they are on their own. If they get married, they live on there own with a job or in the military you no longer have to keep insurance even under 25 yo. Are you sure it's not 23?
Vince it is 25 for Georgia. Yes as long as the children/adults are not married and in school full time. It was an agreement with children when they went to college. It then became a part of the agreement to the divorce. If she cannot then it will fall on my shoulders. But I do not mind because my children are worth it. Once they are finished with school they are on their own. My son is not going to school and wants to go into the military so he looses out on the insurance.
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I had an "Agreement" too on insurance but she (my ex) kind of never got around to notifying the state of the agreement. I know this is not your case but it's how I got to know so much about this stuff. :dodgy:
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I had an "Agreement" too on insurance but she (my ex) kind of never got around to notifying the state of the agreement. I know this is not your case but it's how I got to know so much about this stuff. :dodgy:
When it comes to divorce I have counseled many people. Best rule, eyes wide open and leave nothing to chance. Separate all finances and watch lawyers like a hawk. Do not trust anyone or any kind of agreement when it is not documented.
Everything may be good at the time of divorce but things change and people remarry. The new partner will have their agenda.
Finally do not get even, be merciful when possible because you may need mercy and help down the road. If you show them your rear end they will wait for the perfect opportunity to stick something up it.
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Shaun,
Usually, it's the ex's attorney who is into anial probing, best to look and see her attorney has larger eyes and a pointy head and is a bit grey then you know your into it.
Thought kids were on their own at 18, but the insurance is somthing else. I wonder is the insurance cheaper until that 23 age or what?
By the way, my ex's attorney was not only grey with large eyes, he had his own saucer parked outside....
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Hehe, I know the feeling. I'm still paying my ex to sit and play a video game 24/7.
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regnis,
i dont know how it is in canada but try and introduce your ex to a man to marry.
when my ex remarried the checks stopped. i should have bought her new husband
something nice.
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Well, you should never count your eggs before they hatch. Got my passport, got the time off from work, filled out application for visa, and Peggy goes wacko on me. 2 sessions of trying to talk the issues through and 2 times of her ignoring me I finally said enough is enough.
She requested that I send her some money, not much, because she is unemployed and needs it. It was my choice. I thought about it a long time then decided to send it. I could not get paypal to work. I try MoneyGram. For some reason I could not get it to work my me using the internet. I asked her to be patient. So I looked up the address for the nearest office. It is not far from me. The next day I was unbelievable busy and it escaped my mind. I apologized to her and said I would take care of it the next day.
I went to the place, their MoneyGram was down do they directed me to the next one. I went there and began the process. They asked me two questions I could not answer. What form of currency does she need; they only offer three and yuan is not one of them. The second was does she have a proper ID. The man explains that if she does not have an ID or that if the moneygram is not spelled exactly the same as ID they will not give her the money.
I wait until the next scheduled time to talk to ask her the questions. I asked the first one and she decided she will not talk about the money. She said she will get a job. This is after a long period of looking for one already. Her sister tells me she cannot find one. She becomes extremely difficult to talk to and I ask if she is being stubborn on purpose and she says yes. So then we end the conversation.
I leave her a message about needing to work through this and trust. She ignores me last night. This morning at the scheduled time she is not there. I send a message to her saying I am saddened by what is taking place. An hour 15 minutes later she comes out and starts talking acting like nothing is wrong. I tell her we still need to talk. Her basic answer is whatever.
She tells me she loves me and trusts men but I do not trust her because I will not send money. Then it is back and forth and back and forth. She drags up a few things I did not realize were issues with her. She will not give the info and continues to day that I do not trust her. She absolutely refuses to accept the fact that she does not trust me and continues to say that I do not trust her. Then she tells me that she has to get off the internet because she has found a job that begins tomorrow. WOW It makes you wonder.
Now she wants to talk only in the most inconvenient time for me. I will not put myself into a relationship where the woman doest not trust me. I am frustrated beyond belief. What is the frigging issue here. I would move on but there is way too much time invested in this. Any thoughts?
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Hi Shaun,
I don't know if you read about my money stuff with my lady. Some of your problems with sending money sound uncannily like mine. I tried Western Union, then Moneygram, but didn't feel it was safe. She asked me to send quite a bit so she could leave her job, support her two children and sort out her divorce in time for my second visit in December. It was quite a fraught time, because there were genuine reasons why I couldn't send the money quickly. Eventually, I took a morning off work, went to my bank to transfer the funds via a bank to bank transfer to her brother's account. She only has a post office account, which doesn't have a bank number, just an account number. So the money went to her brother's account, and then he sent it to her. This all took about two weeks from the time she asked.
Then she got all worried about the financial costs of the marriage, we had a misunderstanding, and I asked her brother to intervene. Then I said we would have a face-to-face frank discussion about money when I got to China. We had that discussion, which cleared the air somewhat. I didn't give her any money while I was there. I, and her brother recommended that she look for a job now, which she is doing, now I am back in England.
My advice to you, based on my experience, is to keep cool, and suggest that you need to discuss finances with her face to face, like I did. The imagination can be a terrible thing, and unrealistic expectations of Western wealth can make things more terrible. If you can hang on until you go to China, I would have it out face-to-face with her. I was expecting a difficult conversation, but it was OK in the end. Hope this is helpful.
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Stubborn
Many chinese women have this trait. My lady too but we haven't locked horns as of yet because so am I.
If you haven't tried this already tell her to send any money you need the information, PERIOD. No info, no money. Me personally I don't have the patience for an attitude. I have my own to deal with. :icon_biggrin: Keep in mind this is all for long term. It's up to you.
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I guess my advice is to still get things organised for your trip and go as planned. Try to work things out, as like you say you have already invested a lot into this relationship, maybe this will all blow over before your visit and things will go great for you. But if not, as others do say have your back up plan organised, are there any brothers out their near to where you are going? You could always meet up with them and who knows, maybe their lady has a few friends you could meet? Or get the address of your agency, as if things do go pear shaped I'm sure they would have a good number of ladies who you could meet with. Failing that China is an amazing country, so just to visit as a tourist. You could always just do the tourist thing for the time you are out there, (i cant remember if you have been their already?) Do some research into the area your going to, and see whats around on places worth going to. But hopefully she is just being a little awkward at the moment, lets face it we all do have these moments ourselves from time to time, and this will all be forgotten about by the time you go, and she will be all you think she is and you will start a fantastic life together. Either way, you will have a fantastic time. Just if it does not work out, make sure you just don't stay holed up in you hotel room for the length of your stay...:icon_cheesygrin:
Andy...
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She requested that I send her some money, not much, because she is unemployed and needs it. It was my choice. ?
Shaun....
About sending money,
I arranged to send Ming some money for professional English lessons.
She has a Bank Account with Bank of China. Using the Bank Swift Code and her Chinese National ID number I was able to do the transfer from my home computer on Internet Banking. The whole process took 10 minutes and the money was in her account within 24 hrs !!
I wouldn't think it is too difficult for Peggy to open a Bank Account with a nominal deposit (If she doesn't have one already).
I dont know about Paypal or moneygram...I would always prefer to go direct to a Bank Account.
About trust and that sort of stuff....you can only do so much at long range in the "virtual" situation. Maybe nerves and some translation "funnies" are getting in the way ??
You cant know what is exactly in her and your mind until you meet...then things will become clear. So talk about the Weather on QQ ( or sex, or Creative Macrame) until you can get face to face :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Relax Mate, try not to get so intense and solve all the problems at long range........as the Bros say, "if you go over there and it does not work out, you can always do Plan B and have a great time"
David
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I would never send money to someone I had not met in person yet. Webcam or no. Money puts a huge stress on the relationship. I do send a small amount of money every month to Nina. She is grateful for the help, but works very long hours as well and lives a very frugal life.
It is nice to be able to help, but to be made to feel guilty or stressed about helping or not helping does nothing to help the relationship. The hardest thing I've had to do was tell Nina no when she asked to go to school full time for English. It's just not in my budget right now.
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Shaun This is why you should not be talking to a Chinese woman until you have most of your personal things taken care of .Like passport finances vacation time.Like Ive said before if you are not ready to go to China within 4 months at the max.You shouldn't even be talking to a Chinese women.
Why? Because if your talking longer then 2 months.Both of you have time to get inside your own heads and start thinking to much.This gives you to much time to read what has happened to some other person who has tried it the same way that you are doing it.
It Also Gives Peggy's sister and brother in law time to get inside her head and get her all screwed up.Now Peggy has got you in her head her sister and brother in law and herself.All rolled into one.That's a hell of allot of voices to listen to at one time.Oh yeah lets not forget mama and baba to.and every other persons opinion in China.
Shaun Did we forget something?Maybe a rule.
You flunked the test.The test was to see if you loved her enough to send her the money.And to see if you were a man of your word or not.As far as Peggy is concerned you are not.You are just like Chinese man you say your going to do something and you don't.(Not my thoughts Shaun Peggy's thoughts)
Shaun I know you tried to make it to China the first time you told Peggy. that you were going to go.I know you tried to send the money to Peggy.But What I know.And what Peggy thinks are 2 totally different things.As far as Peggy is concerned you have struck out twice so far.2 strikes is usually one to many for a Chinese women.
The way to fix this if there is a fix.Is next time you talk to her get the information David told you about.That is the same way I sent money to my wife.No muss no fuss.The money was there the next day.It is just a wire transfer and yes it cost a little more but you avoid the hassles.
Never ever under any circumstances say to a Chinese women.That you will do something.And then not do it.Maybe is not in there vocabulary.
Shaun I just looked to see when you started this thread. 2 months ago.25 pages.Should of already ben there had this all worked out.
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Shaun , you make the simplest things hard for yourself ,we have to agree with Maxx's comments , but if her sister and brother inlaw are still there , surly by talking to one of them you can transfer money to their U. S account for them to give to Peggy , short and sweet , with little cost and no drama , in China things get done in minutes , not hours or days , and Chinese women or men have no concept of waiting , I had a query on a piece of equipment the other night [ Sunday ] it was about 9pm China time , Ying picked up her phone and within 10 minutes had all the answers , would have taken bloody days in the Western world , also to most Chinese people their Id number is more valuable than a green card as it is linked to their whole life , and while they like to understand , there is so much told about guarding their card , until you meet face to face it can be all to hard .
Even email original copies of your flight details etc. , because as I have said before until she see's concrete information you are just miles away on the internet , and think of everything from her perspective , and keep things cool , regards Ying and Robert .
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Shaun my friend, calm down, I'm not going to get into this, as who am I to talk or tell you what to do. However, I will remind you of what vince, maxx and a whole lot of others have preached to me....never send money until you have met her person to person. But I know how busy you can get, and under the circumstaces you may well be justified in doing that.
If things don't work out (and I hope they do) go ahead and go to china and pull a "scottish rob" :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:.
In case your not sure what a Scottish Rob is; it's where you go there and let the lady pick YOU up, just ask where you can get a translator :icon_cheesygrin: It worked for him, why not you. Your a good looking man (I hope) and you will probably have your pick of women.
I am sorry for the problems your having, but I do know your a busy guy and that does not help ether. Get the small stuff out of the way first, then there is time forr love...
On a lighter note...I have worked all my life and today I get my reward -- I got to apply for social security !!!! :icon_cheesygrin: Can't believe I made it. The eagle will start crapping in June, horah...now I can consentrate on lady's....hope I'm not too old...haha
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Hi guys. Thanks for all the comments. It helps me to gain a little perspective. I am not sure how this will turn out but I will try to mend it.
You can question me all day long if I should give Peggy some money or not but to me it was the best alternative. Her alternative was to go to Shaoguan and open a maijing hall. She would work 14 hours a say 7 days a week and operate it where she would be living. I didn't like what I was hearing. The monthly income would be pitiful for the hours worked. Peggy asked me what I thought. Her sister got involved with the conversation. It turns out that the sister and I were in agreement. The house Peggy is living in is owned by her sister and she was willing to let Peggy live there for free if I would give Peggy $1000RMB a month to live on. I agreed because I didn't want Peggy to open the business then try to sell it when she moves to the US with me hopefully. Peggy was also suppose to be taking English classes and working part time.
I figured that it was only 4 months until I see her so $4000RMB was not much. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible when I get there. How much would it be worth to spend all day for 10 days with a woman you hoped to marry?
Andy I told Peggy in our last talk that I was coming anyway.
David, thanks for the info on the transferring of funds. I will try it IF she will give me the info. Peggy does have a bank account.
Phillip, yes it does sound a lot alike. I stay up to date with what others are doing.
Vince, Peggy admits to being a stubborn person, something I didn't see. I told her it is something I cannot live with, that is as far ass discussing issues.
Robert and Don, thank you for your comments too.
Maxx, why don't put salt in my wound. :icon_cheesygrin: As usual you are right. The concept of not understanding any circumstance will drive me crazy because there will always be a circumstance. I guess it is something I will have to teach her before much longer. I have to say you are right because it didn't matter what I said she kept the same point an opinion.
As I was replying to all of you and recounting some of the events it dawned on me that Peggy is still in Shenzhen and did not go to Shaoguan so there is still a chance. She found a job there so maybe she will be waiting for me.
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Shaun - when I send less then $1,000 US by moneygram - I only put down her Name, city, and Province. For her she shows her ID but more important is the number given to you when you set up the transfer. Going to China it is sent in US dollar - not RMB. At her end in Shenzhen she gets it transferred into RMB since she is at a bank. But she recieves in US dollars. I am surprised the moneygram agent did not know this. So once you get the transfer number - you give this number to her through an email or webcam session. You can also include a question for her to answer as another security level. The moneygram fee cost me $10 canadian.
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Shaun
Before I add my two penneth of wisdom I went back and read this thread from start to finish. It has taken me a long time and I have managed to get through without running off to the little room at all. (Maybe things are improving).
Let’s get the light hearted part out of the way – I came across on posting by you where she mentioned ‘ Ten feet and two women’ – she did not have an ex husband who met up with that ten foot alien did she as that could explain a lot?
Any way more serious matters, this relationship has been up and down like the blob of mercury in a thermometer! A couple of days and all is blowing fair then down it goes.
I personally think you talk too much together. You are spending hour upon hour on the computer , day in day out. Probably longer than most would spend talking with a wife they lived with, let along someone they have not actually met yet!
And what do you talk about, probably everything and everything. But just how much do you both actually understand?
I had a lady here who spoke good English but then I realised that I was saying things that she did not understand completely and she went away, thought about them and came back with the wrong interpretation. We think, because they speak some English, that they are up to the mark with all sorts of colloquel phrases and words that we use every day but have a different meaning to them.
Frustration sets in because of the misunderstanding and I have noted that is coming from both you and Peggy in your threads. There seems to be a concern about trust on both your parts.
What you need to do as soon as possible is to get to China and visit her as I do not believe that either of you will be satisfied in your own minds about each other until you meet in person.
That way, face to face you will know if the feeling that you are having are correct or not. You will be able to judge each other’s reaction to certain things said and done that you cannot do by video or any other means of communication.
It may be costly to go but I would plan to go as soon as possible after the Spring Holiday here. Make a positive plan. Ok it will cost a bit of money to spent a couple of weeks here. But it will either make or break the relationship or open up the possibility of another one starting.
But once you make the plan ensure that you stick with it otherwise any trust that you may have been trying to build up will be gone.
Go and if it works well you can return later this year but you will have made a commitment to her.
By all means send her a small amount of money each month – you know in yourself if she is genuine or not. And the fact you want her to have a regular payment whilst she is learning more English well that should show her about your trust.
I have read in these current posts that you should not send her money! Why not in the circumstances – have the writers read back through the thread to read about the contact you have had with her sister and spoken to her brother in law – Are they both in a conspiracy to rob poor Shaun of just 4000 rmb over the next 4 months???
Shaun get her to open a bank of China account - it will be best for both of you - it will cost her no more than a couple of Yuan. She can get the Swift code for the bank, the address of the bank and together with the account number and send it to you. That is the easiest and simplest way of getting money to her - no getting things wrong on moneygram etc.
You may send one off payments in US dollars or you can set up a regular payment and the bank will credit the account in RMB. It will take away the problem of trying to get things done on time. A standing order is a great way to show that you trust her.
You may well decide to do this before making the actual plans to visit because if when the first payment goes through you are still having problems then cut and dash – it means that there is no way you are ever going to satisfy this lady of your true intentions and you can stop all further communications and transfers – it may only cost you one months payment but that will have your answer and can move on.
Sorry it is such a long posting but I took lots of notes from the thread.
Willy
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Hi All,
I got up this morning and turned on my computer. The sister was waiting for me to appear. She wanted to talk with me about the misunderstandings and she wanted to voice talk rather than type and I was agreeable to that. I do need to mention that her husband went back to America weeks ago. All in all I think the sister has been a great asset being there. She leaves on the 26th to come back to the US.
It turns out there was a lot more than one issue. The first and largest issue was that I still had an account on blossoms.com. Peggy found me looking on it a couple of times. She thought I was still looking for another woman. The sister said if I were to close the account that this would go a very long way to helping to resolve the issue. I said absolutely not!!!! No, really, I closed it right then and then asked her to look at it. It turns out that Peggy was there while we were talking and she looked. (I knew she was there; listening.) I heard her quietly say yes the account was closed to her sister. I began to laugh out loud and then they laughed. The sister told me that once I came to China that everything will be completely different, that I would really begin to understand the commitment of a Chinese woman.
Second issue was that I had planned to go to China the first of February and then had to cancel because the ex-wife lost her job and would not be able to provide insurance for our children. To go see Peggy in February I would have to quit job. I had planned to move to Oklahoma and stay with my mother for a while. That went out the window when my ex lost her job. I needed to provide insurance for the children. I tried to explain this to Peggy but she didn't understand, but said she did. Her sister understood and explained to Peggy. Well that was 2 strikes against me.
Willy you are right they do not understand a lot of what you say, even when they translate into Chinese. The sister went to college and studied English. Her English is very good, not great but very good. She has been married 2 years and has lived in the US one year. Still I could tell that she was not understanding everything I said to her. It seems that when they do not understand then the just dismiss what you are trying to say. That opens up a lot of issues down the road and that is where we are at.
Strike 3 was when she did not get the money. The sister told me that Peggy did not ask for the money but that I offered it. It is not true but I left the comment alone. I explained it to the sister and she understood. Peggy already has a checking account. Tomorrow I will have the bank swift number along with Peggy's ID number and we can resolve that issue. Willy, I am not worried what the other men might think, in this situation I think it is necessary for me to send the money. In 4 months it is only $600.00. How much would I have spent in EMF's talking with Peggy every day and for the next 4 months? $600.00 is an incredible bargain considering. $150.00 a month was about what I was spending on chnlove. $600.00 for 10 months? Do the math.
I sure am glad this is not like baseball because I would be out. I think we are back on track now thanks to the sister. Willy, you are correct about talking too much. I had been thinking about cutting it back to once a day for 2 hours max. With her new job that is the way it will be. She is selling purses and wallets in a store. Hopefully either she will quit when I get there or will be able to take all of the time off. She works 8 hours a say and this will give her a little time to study English.
The up and down apparently started when Peggy discovered that I still had a blossoms account. Based on the conversation I had with the sister this was the real issue. When I canceled my account Peggy said not only would she wait 4 months she said she would wait 1 year. So I moved my trip to late December. No, I didn't do that or even say it. I will go the first week in April. Both Maxx and Willy, I do see why you say, go soon.
Maxx, I understand your position about not even talking with a woman until you have everything ready to go. Problem is, most men find this out after the fact. These sites should have a questioner for men asking these questions before allowing them to talk with women. But then they would not have men joining these sites. Every one of us have a preconceived idea when we enter the sites looking for a Chinese wife. If a man is able to learn and change to the reality of who these Chinese women actually are then they will find success. It is a process and mistakes are made along the way. There is a lot I have learned but still have a lot more to learn. I am sure my mistakes and misunderstandings are not over yet. If I am willing to learn then I will have success and become a very happy man.
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Shaun,
that open blossoms account was like a betrayal to Peggy. sure she thought you were
looking for women still and that would also snowball into every other type of problem.
glad to hear that everything is heading in the right direction. good for you two and i
hope it stays on course for you two.
hey did you get my pm with my email address???? just wondering i think it would be a good
idea if you are staying there for a little while
Ted
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your right Mike
each situation is different and the circumstances might warrant
different solutions
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Ted,
Yes I got the email address but that was when everything began falling apart completely. My focus has been on the relationship and work. Nothing else. Next week I will get back on track. I will be in Shenzhen for 9 or 10 days in April. If everything works out then hopefully back in June for a month or two.
Mike,
Thanks for the comment. You are right, every situation is different. When I realized I would still be saving money considering EMF fees then to me it was a no brainer. Plus I want her available if possible the whole time I am there. I want to pack in as much time as possible while I am there.
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Plus I want her available if possible the whole time I am there. I want to pack in as much time as possible while I am there.
So I take it that you want be slipping up to Guangzhou for a few days to visit Ted then down to Zhongshan for another couple to see me and then up to ...........!!!!!:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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Hmmm... Let me see? The secretary general will have my agenda planned out for me. I will mention it to her but she has her own agenda... :angel:
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Hi guys. Thanks for all the comments. It helps me to gain a little perspective. I am not sure how this will turn out but I will try to mend it.
You can question me all day long if I should give Peggy some money or not but to me it was the best alternative. Her alternative was to go to Shaoguan and open a maijing hall. She would work 14 hours a say 7 days a week and operate it where she would be living. I didn't like what I was hearing. The monthly income would be pitiful for the hours worked.
Shaun , I like to point out something ... that concerns just this issue .
Qing got divorced from her first Husband , for this very reason . He did not let her do her own thing , like she wanted to buy an Apartment in Shanghai and rent it out ( to invest ) open her own Aquarium Store also in Shanghai . Well , her EX shut her down and forced her NOT to do any of this ( her wish ) to get ahead and better their Life . It was alway's , him and him some more . After she left him , she now own's an Apartment in a nice area in Shanghai and she had not just one but two Aquarium Store's at the time we have made contact with each other . So , please ... do not keep Peggy from fore-filling her wish , even if it means many hour's and little Pay . If this is what will make her happy , even if it's only for a short time ... it will also keep you in a higher point column in her book .
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Arnold,
Thanks, one of the problems with telling things on this forum is that you cannot tell everything nor would I really want to. Peggy wanted to move back home to Shaoguan because it is much cheaper to live there than any of the other area's she has lived. Work there is extremely hard to come by and the Mahjong hall was a means to getting income, nothing more. I questioned her quite a bit and she tells me that ultimately she wanted to move to be with me and run a business together. I tried very carefully not to push her a direction she didn't want to go and it just didn't make financial sense to this if she was wanting to come to America. My greatest concern was to not squash a dream of hers.
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Shaun
Is this Shaoguan about 2 hours drive north of Guangzhou?
Willy
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like she wanted to buy an Apartment in Shanghai and rent it out ( to invest ) open her own Aquarium Store also in Shanghai . Well , her EX shut her down and forced her NOT to do any of this ( her wish ) to get ahead and better their Life . It was alway's , him and him some more . After she left him , she now own's an Apartment in a nice area in Shanghai and she had not just one but two Aquarium Store's at the time we have made contact with each other .
Arnold.......
How come you get the Lady with the aquarium stores....that's my hobby so probably she got the wrong bloke (hahahahaha).
Here is aphoto of my living coral reef...hope she likes it :icon_cheesygrin:
David
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Willy, Peggy tells me it is a 3 hour trip from Shenzhen to Shaoguan by bus. It looks to me that you are on the other side of the bay from Shenzhen. I do want to meet both you and Ted. I have no concept of how things work as far as travel and time in China. Maybe we could all meet in Guangzhou for a day. I know Peggy used to live there. Right now I am focusing on the relationship with her and am not talking about much of anything but me and her. I had no idea how much it bothered her that my blossoms.com account was still open. Give me another week and I will talk with her about meeting.
David, OK... Now I am jealous after looking at the picture of your aquarium. That was a hobby I gave up to keep the marriage happy and you see where that got me. I guess I should be grateful because I have 3 wonderful children and the bad marriage led me to looking for a Chinese wife. One day soon I will fire up another aquarium. I am already collecting supplies when I find them dirt cheap.
I also wanted to mention. Last night I was web camming with Peggy when a man appeared in camera range. It was her brother. He had stopped by to visit as he was passing though town on his way elsewhere. I guess he wanted to see this American his sister had been spending so much time with. (Yes, I know what you are thinking, they did look like brother and sister.)
I must have reacted to his presence because suddenly Peggy started laughing and said, "this is my brother." The point to this story was that he gave her a red envelope. It was the first one I have ever seen. She told him thank you and opened it up right there. Peggy and sister always make me feel like I am a part of the family. The brother? Well... I am not sure but it was our first look and he seemed to be preoccupied with something else.
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Shaun , glad you have it all under control and not pushing too much against her will .
David , that is just breath-taking . I also love Saltwater Fish Aquarium's so much more . Can you blame anyone ? their so much more beautiful , but not cheap to start or keep up . Here are some Photo's of Qing's Store , which she does not have anymore .
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those are excellent, you've both done an excellent job. Living on solar power does not afford me the pleasure of owning one, however being a scuba diver does. I like looking at the real thing...sharks too....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Arnold,
Now I am also jealous as a beautiful lady who owns a fish store would be my dream lady.
Here is my Kuhli loach:
(http://www.brettb.com/images/KuhliLoach4.jpg)
I like Kuhli loaches. I have heard they live for 30 years if you look after them. Actually I think mine are indestructible. Oh, and I have no sharks, not even China sharks lol :icon_cheesygrin:.
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You know , it is only one of dozen's of coincidences that Qing and I share . She having had two Aquarium Stores and me of course being a Pisces ( a Fish ) . I now only have my Parrot , no more Fish . Anyway , how safe would they be with a chinese Woman in the House ... cooking ? I'm ... or my Bird is lucky , he's not to big and meaty . :icon_cheesygrin:
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Arnold,
Just as well she's not a Cypriot then!! ...Here they go out shooting birds not much bigger than a Wren, if there's more than a mouthful of meat on these birds they would be mightily lucky!! lol!!
Even more crazy, these guys that go out shooting these birds actually call themselves ''hunters'' They have all the camouflage gear, the boots , the whole 9 yards. ...haha!! What amazes me also is that they use shotguns, so they can't really miss, but also there can't be much left of these tiny birds, ....that or they have to be full of buckshot!! ...hahaha!!
David....
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Hahahahaha .... David , that is very true . Also see it happening here . One good thing after you hit them with a Shotgun , you have taken care of their Feather's already ... ready for cooking right from the Field .
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Do I have to admit I had parrots and fish too? The fish commited suicide a couple of months ago :D, the tank is empty right now. And the parrots (a pair of African Gray) were way too much work and talked too much hehe, I found a nice home for them after they mostly destroyed my interior in the 6 months I had them, poor things need to fly and I am such a soft heart, so ... :P
So all you experts, what kind of fish are low maintenance in a 260 liter open top tank? (this is what it looks like after 4 weeks running in, then it became a jungle, now there is just sand in it)
[attachment=1354][attachment=1355][attachment=1356]
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Now of course Frank , I would put into my 260 gallon tank " Lobster's " . Keep them a short time and they make a great Meal . Very low maintenance . Haha
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Frank,
in the usa i had a umbrella cockatoo,pocket parrot,and a parrot and they
talked and chirped a lot but didnt chew anything. my umbrella used to walk
around the floor after the german shepard kinda chasing her saying
"watcha doing bubba" and the shepard played with her keeping a few steps ahead of the bird
that was funny when people saw it. when they got tired the dog would lay down and the
umbrella would climb her and stand on her back and they would sleep now my freind had a macaw
ad forgot to lock the cage 1 morning ad came home to his banister leading upstairs in sawdust and
chips all over the place
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Do I have to admit I had parrots and fish too? The fish commited suicide a couple of months ago :D, the tank is empty right now. And the parrots (a pair of African Gray) were way too much work and talked too much hehe, I found a nice home for them after they mostly destroyed my interior in the 6 months I had them, poor things need to fly and I am such a soft heart, so ... :P
So all you experts, what kind of fish are low maintenance in a 260 liter open top tank? (this is what it looks like after 4 weeks running in, then it became a jungle, now there is just sand in it)
Low Maintenance fish in an open tank ????.........Plastic/Artificial fish :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Low Maintenance fish in an open tank ????.........Plastic/Artificial fish :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Hahaha, I'll look into to that :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Well topping evaporation off is the easy bit with RO, I'm well equipped, but I want something without heat, no plants, feed them and leave them sort of thing, not too picky about the water quality. I'm willing to change water partially now and again (this tank lasted 12 months without water change, heavily planted and with a low population. Just if I heat the water, evaporation is crazy especially in winter. Around 5 liters daily. Unheated however it's more like 5 liters per week, I'm testing now, just some snails left in there at present.
Gold fish? There are some really nice ones ...
Frank
Frank,
in the usa i had a umbrella cockatoo,pocket parrot,and a parrot and they
talked and chirped a lot but didnt chew anything. my umbrella used to walk
around the floor after the german shepard kinda chasing her saying
"watcha doing bubba" and the shepard played with her keeping a few steps ahead of the bird
that was funny when people saw it. when they got tired the dog would lay down and the
umbrella would climb her and stand on her back and they would sleep now my freind had a macaw
ad forgot to lock the cage 1 morning ad came home to his banister leading upstairs in sawdust and
chips all over the place
Ted, my 2 little devils ate plaster mouldings, furniture, books ... no matter how much stuff I brought in for them to chew. I have a large library and they loved to throw the books down from the shelves. They both spoke over 40 words at 6 months old, even often correct in context. The girl was a cuddle bird, the boy a real playful chap who would play hide and seek or catch my toes under the blanket (ouch! :D). And they loved orange juice and (diluted) coffee for breakfast, they ate everything we ate hehe, they loved sausage for some reason so I took them out with me when we had a barbecue. I still miss them but I'm glad they're gone, they were at least 2 hours work a day not to mention that they wanted company a lot and complained bitterly if they didn't get it.
Frank
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You bar-b-q ed your african greys? :huh:
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yea birds can be very creative when they want to get into things.
i miss mine to but i couldnt bring them to China
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This thread will soon turn into 'Finding Nemo'
I thought it was us old folk that went rambling on - but of course I am well known for sticking right to the thread!!!:angel:
That is the same place Shaun - 3 hours from Shenzhen - 4 hours from Zhuihai- it has a very modern traffic system - you get a coundown on traffic lights from 30 seconds down to 1 -flashin 30, 29 etc and then as it hits 10 the engines are revving up, at 5 the hand brake is off and car is creeping forward then 1 and green -Whoosh there is a grand prix like start.
Until the next lights which may be only a couple of hundred yards away.
Willy
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You bar-b-q ed your african greys? :huh:
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: hehe of course not, when we barbecued outside they came with us in a portable cage which was on the garden table, and they would eat the same food we did, it was very entertaining, no need for TV or music.
Willy, keeping on the thread:"When You know it is just right" is vague enough no? :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Willy,
I can't wait to experience the traffic. There must be a little race car in my genetics because I would love to drive over there. I can mix it up with the best of them.
But in the interest of preserving my relationship with Peggy and good Chinese/American relations I will refrain from it. I have already told Peggy that I want to limit the forms of travel. Anything but a taxi. I do not think I will do well in the passenger seat.
Frank, don't encourage Willy to stray from the intent of this thread. For that matter don't encourage me either.
Shaun
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Shaun,
Your a brave man indeed!!, ...You may think your able to mix it with the best of them, but how about mixing it with a Nation of drivers that have No Fear, and almost a death wish when they get behind the wheel??? The only place i know of that comes anywhere near close is Mumbai (Bombay) and there chickens compared with the Chinese driver...hahaha!!
You need to travel by taxi, to see exactly what you would be letting yourself in for, Besides, traveling by bus isn't much better just because it's bigger doesn't stop the car's mixing it with them too, ...as i said ''No Fear'' lol!!
David.....
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Shaun,
Yes you should drive over there, it would be fun ... I actually find Chinese driving less hardcore than Italy, especially Rome or Naples, and I drove there no problem, but then I learned in Paris :angel: The trick in this kind of traffic is to appear confident and insist on going where you want to, let the others make way. Not your typical US driving but you get used to it. Taxi's are not bad, but try the little electric bikes with drivers ... I used them a lot to get to the metro in Shenzhen as the walk was a bit much (metro is much faster than the taxis). I rode a motorcycle for years, in Paris, so I thought I had seen it all, but the Chinese prove that you don't need to go at 200mph to get an adrenaline rush, they do it at 20mph :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: I can't wait to get back on those things, best ride for 3 RMB, it even beats 6 Flags parks.
Frank
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Talking about driving, can i drive a car in China with my UK driving liecence? Or do i need to apply for a international one. (i'm not gonna be living there, just going for a holiday)
Andy...
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Shaun,
Your a brave man indeed!!, ...You may think your able to mix it with the best of them, but how about mixing it with a Nation of drivers that have No Fear, and almost a death wish when they get behind the wheel??? The only place i know of that comes anywhere near close is Mumbai (Bombay) and there chickens compared with the Chinese driver...hahaha!!
You need to travel by taxi, to see exactly what you would be letting yourself in for, Besides, traveling by bus isn't much better just because it's bigger doesn't stop the car's mixing it with them too, ...as i said ''No Fear'' lol!!
David.....
I drove in Tehran Iran back in the late 70's. Throughly love it. Got in trouble a few times but loved it. I've watched the traffic on video; being there and observing it may be different. When Willy said there was a countdown at the light something inside me said Yeh buddy. Well see how I feel when I get there but I think it will appear to be a challenge. I will refrain though. Peggy doesn't need to see that side of me yet. I am some what competitive when it comes to driving; even in a school bus.
Shaun... :angel: :icon_twisted::icon_twisted:
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Hahaha, Driving in Paris, Rome, may well be bad in European terms, but they at least know the limits, but it aint got nothing on Driving in China, ....Any City in China, because they ''Don't Know'' the limits...
The road death toll in China is absolutly horrendous, and it still has no affect on them, once they get behind that wheel...lol!!!
David....
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Hi Andy,
You need to get a Chinese driver's licence, it's a theoretical exam, 100 questions, about 300 rmb I think. The questions are tough though, cultural differences :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Frank
Hahaha, Driving in Paris, Rome, may well be bad in European terms, but they at least know the limits, but it aint got nothing on Driving in China, ....Any City in China, because they ''Don't Know'' the limits...
The road death toll in China is absolutly horrendous, and it still has no affect on them, once they get behind that wheel...lol!!!
David....
David, I actually find Chinese driving is sort of a cross between California driving (no offense meant) and Italian driving. The weirdest things I came across on the road were in California and in China (cars on the wrong side of the road, U turning anywhere, reversing on highways ... very old people still driving in slow motion and blind), the craziest driving I have seen was in China and Naples. The crossings in China can be more messy than anything else I have seen, but the traffic is still manageable, I was never surprised, even on the electric bikes.
But you are right, they don't know the limits, that's where the adrenaline comes from :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Frank
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Shaun,
All the Arab Nations are inherently bad drivers, mainly because they don't know how to drive. But i know what you mean, had a few friends like that, scared the living daylights out of me at times haha!!...
David
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I'm feeling totally loved up and have to reply here.
My lovely Sunny made me a beautiful handmade pillow for my birthday with hand stitched decoration, its really something and must have taken a huge amount of time to make and I'm blown away by that.
But more than that, I literally feel like Superman everyday. I keep thinking - something bad must be about to happen - i cannot be so lucky to have it all so good at once.
I was 39 on 11th January this month, and i can honestly say I have never ever in all my life felt better. Her sweet voice, her soft lips, her smooth skin, her little hands.. I just want to get back to Guangzhou and hold her close, kiss her lips and hear her laugh, feel her hand on my chest, her head on my shoulder..
Here is a text she sent me on sms :-
"Whenever we finish our phone call,I feel super satisfied. I think my day is just complete with a phone call at the end and I can have a good sleep now.I love u"
It doesn't get any better than that to make a man feel like a man!
I hope the rest of the bro's can be as lucky as me, and i hope to meet up with a few of you this feb in Guangzhou.
Loved up happy thoughts,
Ronan.
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All I can say is congratulations Paddy, I'm jealous :icon_cheesygrin: Hope to get to see your real face in GZ soon!
Frank
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Irishman,
looks like you will be living here and loving her
soon. total relocation to china
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What you don't know about Shaun, is that his truck, is a 1 ton monster, with a fully blown 429 under the hood, jacked up 3 feet, with duelly's that are 16 ply and have knobbys on them, the go any where tire, two stacks coming up the back of the cab, a huge rear bumper made out of 1/2 inch steel, a front bumper made out of 1/2 steel, with a 5 ton winch and enough lights to light up Gangzow all night, plus a rebel flag painted on the rear window and a bumper sticker that says "death to all who cross my path", and another that say's protected by Smith & Wesson, It also comes with a 5 speed tranny with overdrive (so he can drive over you) and 4-wheel drive. It also has a 6-pack cooler between the seats Shaun is one of the "good ole boys" also comes with a button on the dash that says "ramming speed" and has an aaaoooga horn.
Did I forget anything Shaun?.....haha
And your worried about him driving in China? Hey worry about the chinese. How much road kill can you get in a day?....:icon_cheesygrin:
Irishman, you gotta cut back on those viagra pills, take any more and you'll be swimming to china.....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Irishman, you gotta cut back on those viagra pills, take any more and you'll be swimming to china.....:icon_cheesygrin:
back stroking underwater like a submarine with an Up periscope :-/
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fully blown 429 under the hood,
your dating yourself Rocky. :icon_biggrin:
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[attachment=1360]Don,
Sorry Don, I hate to destroy your image of me. I know I seem like such a rugged individual to you. But I drive a Chevrolet 4X4 35,000. On the other hand I did manage to find your ecological Smart Car you drive.
Shaun
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fShaun, I see your 3500 comes with a trailer hitch, to pull the gas tank behind it...:icon_cheesygrin:
By the way, come to think of it, that does look like me behind the wheel of the "rickshaw crusher"....:icon_cheesygrin: But bet I can get from one end of Bejing to the other in 15 minutes....haha
Well Vince, I am pretty dated and getting more dated every day, how about a 455 olds? what's bigger??
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Shaun,
is that your truck you posted here for real or are you pulling our leg?
and if it is what the hell do you need that for? you running illegals in
under cover as limo service??
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Ted,
No, I do not have a truck like that. I was messing with Don. I drive a Ford Explorer. I can't talk about anything else you mentioned. :icon_cool:
Shaun
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Shaun is kidding, he gets more road kill with the Ford....claims the brakes don't work.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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thats a nice truck but the mileage would kill u
what is the price of fuel in usa now? its 4.94 rmb
per litter here in gz
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thats a nice truck but the mileage would kill u
what is the price of fuel in usa now? its 4.94 rmb
per litter here in gz
I paid 2.43.9 with a .10 cent discount yesterday so I imagine it is about $3.00 or a little more in LA.
Yes a truck like that would cost a lot. I get almost 20mpg but about 12mph when I will the trailer. My bus gets 5mpg. I put in 40 gallons every 3rd day. I would hate to pay that bill.
Don,
Who is your investigator? You need to hire a new one. They work most of the time! I promise.
Shaun
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Shaun, gas is 3.99.9 here, but it goes up and down from 3.50 to 4.99 a gallon. Probably why no one wants to visit...:s
By the way, if gas gets too expensive, do what I used to do an use "drip-gas" it works. :angel:
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Drip gas is just low octane non-leaded gas. In the older cars and trucks, ie; 350 chev etc. you could adjust the timeing to compensate and run it. I used to run it all the time, was never stopped, and a lot of other people ran it also. We would get it from the tanks at the oil fields. Your right on the power factor, cuts it down, but hey it was free...:s
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Some kids blew themselves up a couple of years ago here.Trying to steal drip gas.That is when they really started cracking down on it.
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OK, I'll bite. What is drip gas?
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Thanks Mike,
White gas is what I know it as. I grew up in the oil fields of West Texas and never heard the term drip gas.
Shaun
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liquid gold thats what we called it
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Texas tea.
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Hi all,
My relationship with Peggy has been humming along just fine. We talk every day for hours. She is working in a retail store sometimes pulling a double shift. 16 hours in total and then gets the next day off.
I am planning to go to China hopefully leaving the evening of March 30. If not then the morning of March 31. Not having much luck finding a flight suitable to my wishes. I've got a little time to look. Will be there 10 to 11 days.
This we were talking at a time I usually reserve for myself but noticed she was out there. I get the question, "Will you want a motel or do you want to stay with me?" That takes us into a long discussion that I will not bore you with though it was quite a bit of fun and informative. We talk about going to Shaoguan and staying in the same room in a motel. I ask her what her family will think if we do, since that is where her family lives. She tells me they will be OK because we will be engaged by then and I would have given her mother the engagement cash. This is the first I have ever heard of this.
So tell me guys who have been through this. Is this for real and if so what is a decent amount to give? Her family from what I can tell is not wealthy but rather on the poor side though mother is well taken care of.
Peggy tells me that she spoke with her mother about it and that she will give the cash to her for moving to America.
What gives?
Shaun
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Shaun,
there are a lot of factors involved were this is concerned.
her first marriage?
city?
countryside?
richer or poorer?
but many people derive their own interpertations from these
factors and imply them
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Shaun, she is just a little worried. By the way, how much did you give her parents? Not trying to be nosy but I may have to do the same one day.
And Shaun, my friend and buddy, next time a woman asks if you want to stay at her place....SAY YES :icon_cheesygrin:
Your gonna give us oil field trash a bad name....hahaha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Mike,
She was the first one I asked. She said, "According to Chinese tradition she cannot request your how many. It is up to you."
I was trying to find a ballpark here. I get the idea she will find her value in what I give.
One think I have learned from her. If she will not say then she will not say.
Shaun
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When I went in February just after Chinese New Year, my wife asked me to give 2000 rmb to each of her parents
as both a new years gift and bride price. Maybe redirect you question to her and say the more you give to the mother, the less you have for the ring.
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Ron,
Good idea, she keeps wanting to talk about marriage. Almost every time we begin out chat she will ask who is your wife? I will say I don't have one to which she will say, who will be your new wife? I will reply, you IF all works well with us on my first trip.
She has been asking about rings. There is no doubt she wants one. It is a good idea to tell her the more I give the less I can purchase.
She tells me she didn't get a ring or a ceremony in her first marriage. I have said we will have to see what she wants when I get there.
Shaun
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I get the question, "Will you want a motel or do you want to stay with me?" That takes us into a long discussion that I will not bore you with though it was quite a bit of fun and informative. We talk about going to Shaoguan and staying in the same room in a motel. I ask her what her family will think if we do, since that is where her family lives.
Shaun,
I would not suggest staying in the same hotel room. Especially at first. I would give it a couple of days to get to know each other first. Then if you are comfortable with each other and all the signals are right, suggest the same room or ask her. Or stay with her, whichever works for you. I went through this on my first trip to China. Same room, same bed the first night we met. It became very confusing and frustrating. Do I or Don't I? (Read my post of last year for more on this) Of course, there are many variables to this. Different ladies, different believes, and yes different men. I am probably not the ladies man that you are. :icon_cheesygrin: Anyway, I am heading to China again in March, and have already told my lady we will book 2 rooms for when we first meet. Then we'll see what happens.
Good luck
Don
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Don,
Thank you for your comment. I told that story not to decide whether I should sleep with her or not. I was asking about the engagement cash. I do not plan to stay with her or sleep in the same bed with her. I am looking for a wife not a sex mate, though sex is an important issue but at this point will only cloud my judgment.
I also wanted to know the customs surrounding engagements and marriage.
I am a one step at a time kind of guy. I must meet her face to face, get to know her some, confirm what I think I know already. There is a time and place for everything and I do not want to rush it.
Shaun
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Shaun
I specifically covered the issue of engagement and dowry money with Ming....because I want to know what I'm up for before I get a nasty shock...or otherwise.
Her response to me was along the lines that because it is second marriage for her, her folks will not want an engagement "fee" or a dowry, but it would be a nice thing for me to buy them a gift anyway.
We have not discussed what sort of gift could be appropriate (maybe they are thinking of a Ferrari or an apartment !!!!!!!!!!!!)...but for me, I would be thinking something quite modest, maybe worth a thousand or so. I will explore the issue further before I leave on 12th Feb.
But it would be good to get some level of understanding what size of payment Peggy and family have in mind...if it is very small, you could agree ??...if it is outrageous.....back to the negotiating table :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David
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David,
Sometimes, and I am sure you understand, it can be quite frustrating talking with Peggy. I talked with her about the engagement money and she continues to tell me that it is not her place to say what it should be. Peggy can be a little stubborn with certain issues and it seems to relate to money. She basically tells me she wants me to give from my heart. So I take this to mean she wants to see what value I place on her.
I guess I will ask for her sisters email address since she is back in the US. Her sister has always intervened when Peggy does this and helps me to understand.
She is treating me more like a husband every day. She asked me if she could buy some clothing for Spring Festival. After many questions I realized she wants a womans business suit for her new sales job at a mall. I told her yes of course. Then she wants to know what we will do for Spring Festival. I try to cover and ask her what she would like to do. She tells me it is my place to decide. So, I respond that I have never been to China so I do not understand all of the Spring Festival customs. Her reply? Study. I can tell I will have my hands full.
Oh, yes and she told me to ask some of my local Chinese friends. :s I have one. She and her husband are having marriage difficulties and she told me that it would look good for her to be talking with me right now. I've noticed that she is being that way with all men. Don't know what is up with that except that maybe her husband is the jealous type. He is Chinese too. I have 2 Korean friends and 1 Filipino friend. Her comment? Hmmm...
So, I am off to work and study later.
Shaun
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Hi Shaun,
Not to impede on your studying (ever the student) :icon_cheesygrin: but I pulled up the Wikipedia listing [Click here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_new_year)].
That said, I do have to warn you that it has been written by people who are quite heavily influenced by South-East Asian chinese traditions (Singapore/Malaysia).
From my friends in China and from the blogs I have read, many families try to travel during Chinese New Year or they hold reunion dinners (this one is most common, especially with large spread out families) as this is one of very few times where you can get whole families together to do something.
(note, I am also SEA-biased in terms of CNY as my background is from there as well... but I see it from an outsider's perspective as well)
Hopefully some of the ladies here can help you as well.
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Shaun.
It seems your doing your best here, but you do need to be a little more confident even if it's for her eyes only.
As far as the Spring Festival goes, yes by all means study up a bit on it, but also make it clear to her that your coming to China primarily to meet and be with her. Making decisions on what your both going to do in the time your there, is going to be impossible without knowing what she would enjoy doing. Important decisions are generally taken by the man/husband in China, but that's not to say that both of you don't dicuss things through fully, before making that decision. What your going to do over the festival does not come under that catorgory!!
Now as for the engagement money, ..... Your asking her for a little guidence here, and i can't really understand her reluctance to give you that guidance. So now the only avenue open to you is trying to contact the sister for that guidance, which really, you shouldn't have to be doing!!!
Don't forget along the way here, ...that your Culture/customs are just as important as hers, that's somthing that many here forget. If you think that your culture/customs on a particular subject is important to you, then do not just give way to her Culture/customs, this is where you need to talk about things and come to an agreed compromise, now that's going to be difficult if she just refuses to talk about such matters!!!
You need to show her your confidence, and make it clear to her that when you ask her something you at least want some sort of meaningful answer. Let her know that you are both still learning about each other, and that you would prefer to get her opinions on things rather than have to read or ask friends about them.....
David....
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Mike,
She was the first one I asked. She said, "According to Chinese tradition she cannot request your how many. It is up to you."
I was trying to find a ballpark here. I get the idea she will find her value in what I give.
One think I have learned from her. If she will not say then she will not say.
Shaun
Shaun,
My wife told me it was bad luck(maybe the same as Chinese tradition) for her to tell me an amount and she wasn't suppose to know/see the amount. Being it was our second marriages, I gave a small amount but it ended with 8 or 9...I don't remember...just a good luck number. I didn't read if she has been married previously...this will make a difference. I think all I spent on marriage and wedding we ended up getting in return(via red envelopes). Maybe if I was in your shoes I might feel uncomfortable if she was asking about rings and marriage so often, maybe insecurities...but pushing you this way may not be a good thing. Also I notice you have her name written wrong unless Zhu isn't her last name...I know a couple people in Changsha with this surname...hehehee...now I'm pushing you bro!!! just kidding! :P
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DavidE- i would stick with the apartment because the ferrari would
be an expensive expense each month for them to park in China.
not to mention the cost of fuel:icon_cheesygrin:
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Ron,
Good idea, she keeps wanting to talk about marriage. Almost every time we begin out chat she will ask who is your wife? I will say I don't have one to which she will say, who will be your new wife? I will reply, you IF all works well with us on my first trip.
She has been asking about rings. There is no doubt she wants one. It is a good idea to tell her the more I give the less I can purchase.
She tells me she didn't get a ring or a ceremony in her first marriage. I have said we will have to see what she wants when I get there.
Shaun
Take care with your plan to buy a ring in China....fakes abound everywhere...even in "Good" jewellery shops !!!...and if you dont know how to judge the quality of a real stone...then you may get a real stone full of flaws that is virtually worthless.
I plan to buy a ring here, where I can be certain of the quality...and if all works out, then I will give it to her...if it doesn't, well I will have a ring ready for the next one :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
On the other subject about engagement gifts and Peggy's reluctance to get involved in the planning process....I would respectfully remind you of some advice you gave to a Bro some time ago..."Man Up" !!!!!!
David5o is right...this is a two way street, she will have to modify some of her "Chinese" ways, just as you will have to modify some of your "Western" traits...but you cant do it all on your own...you cant be a 100% Chinese Man...because you aint !!!!!
You know that you want a Wife who will be a partner, as well as everything else...so you should make it clear that sharing decisions about BIG things is a Western thing and it is also very important.
You have already got to a point of acceptance that she has "out-stubborned" you...and I would not be comfortable with that for myself !!!
How the hell would you know what to do at Chinese New Year....???? it is not reasonable for you to even attempt to make that decision from so far away, without any real knowlege on which to base a decision...She should certainly understand this and be already telling you what she has planned for you BOTH to celebrate HER Spring Festival....it is her opportunity to show off this wonderful occasion to her future Western husband.
I told Ming that I have 2 needs for the Festival...I want to let off some fireworks...because they have been banned here for many years and it will bring back many happy memories for me. And also that I want to eat lots of hot-pot...other than that, she can organise what she wants and I will give it a go !!
I also told her that I am happy to discuss with her any arrangements beforehand, but I WONT make the decision. If she wants me to decide what we do, then I will make these decisions when I arrive....and she will be stuck with them :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Lastly Shaun...about the engagement/gift thing. As I said before, Ming tells me that her folks would not expect an engagement gift or marriage dowry of money...so I enquired of her WHAT would be considered an appropriate gift. My enquiry was based on doing the right thing and showing proper respect and honour to her Parents..NOT to haggle over the size/value of the gift. Same as Peggy, she got all coy about this and dived off-track (as she does when flustered !!!).
I told her we would re-visit this issue so she should give it some thought because I wont let it go !!!...and I wont, I want her to be quite sure that I will always do what I say I will do...even if it pulls her out of her comfort / culture zone just a little :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Cheers
David
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Every Chinese woman wants their own Chairman Mao at home. :icon_cheesygrin:
I think Shaun can pull it off, he looks somewhat like Mao.
Haha, Chairman Shaun, can we buy your little red book on Amazon? :icon_cheesygrin:
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If you want to buy rings, Hong Kong is the place to go.
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Chairman Shaun,
Next time she asks you how much you think she is worth, tell her (like the movie) she is a "pearl of great price", and let her wonder about that one for a while. The guys are right, take a jewelers loup and check out the rocks there in china, also find out her ring size.
Also, dont forget to visit Willy first, he reminds me of the movie (needful things). hahaha :icon_cheesygrin:
When are you going? I'm thinking about toward the end of summer.
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Hey guys,
I sent Peggy a dozen flowers for the Spring Festival and Valentine's Day. She was notified yesterday. She is on the top of the world right now. She is absolutely happy. The smile is completely different. Very nice to see.
I am sitting in McDonalds on the internet. AT&T got it wrong again. I am moving to another smaller house. They were to install the internet tomorrow and disconnect the old next Tuesday. Well???? They disconnected it yesterday but I will not get the new service until tomorrow. Last night I was in a Circle K parking lot on the internet. Temp outside was 27 degrees. Thought of you Ted.
The plan is to leave March 31st and come back April 11th. Waiting for a good price on airplane tickets but they are going up not down.
If you want to buy red books from me it will be on half.com. :icon_cheesygrin: I will re-open my store after I come back from China.
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Good old ATT? They get everything backwards.
Are you moving to that place near the lake?
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Shaun-- like a secrertive operative with the cpu in parking lots :icon_cheesygrin:
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Good old ATT? They get everything backwards.
Are you moving to that place near the lake?
Vince,
Unfortunately no. I am having difficulty securing credit. Income does not match up right now with poor economy. I can make the payments just cant satisfy the banks. It is still for sale and the person selling would not take payments. I was the only person looking. Go figure.
Ted,
I am sitting in a McDonald's parking lot. It feels like a covert operation. I should have internet tomorrow.
I talked with Peggy this morning at from McD's. Dang people are nosy. There were employee's sitting down next to me to see. The lady that cleans up saw what I was doing and asked so I told her I was talking with my girlfriend. She looked and said "Asian! Where does she live?" I said China and it seems every employee needed to see the China woman.
I finally asked for a little privacy and got it. So I am back outside. 27 degrees and windy.
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Perhaps they thought you were into asian porn in a Micky d's, just checking you out. Little did they know your contacting
your covert operatives. 006 goes by the password, Chairman Shaun....haha :fi_lone_ranger::icon_cool::icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
I take it your using the old Farenheit scale, or you would be roasting in that truck of yours .... haha!!!
David....
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David,
If forgot you guys used the wrong scale. Yes it is the correct one; farenheit scale. :icon_cheesygrin: Stir - stir - stir
I was sweating icicles not bullets.
Plus!! I now have internet service. yahoo!!!!!!!
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the wonder of modern technology Shaun:icon_cheesygrin:
so now you can sit in the comfort of your home and talk
with Peggy in your underwear hahahah
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Ted,
Not unless he has a dammed good central heating system roaring away, not at 27F ...haha!!!
Shaun,
Now come on Shaun!! ...how can you have a freezing point of 32 and a boiling point of 212 in this day and age, when you have a far more accurate and meaningful scale where the freezing point starts at 0 and a boiling point of 100.....It's a no-brain-er!! why the rest of the world use the metric scale!! .....lol!!
David.....
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David,
Just depends on your perspective. They tried to change in the 70's but who in the world want to drive on the wrong side of the road at 88kph when you can drive at 55mph. Try that for a easy to read number. :icon_cheesygrin:
Well, Peggy and I had one heck of an argument last night. For those of you who are new to IM with a woman pay attention. After much arguing and then asking questions here I was able to figure out that we were talking to each other but the replies were not coming back through in the previous session. I never got a message from her. She got the first few from me then it stopped. Always, Always, Always make sure your communication and translation is happening correctly before you get into a huge argument.
Now on a much lighter note. After we talked, then made up, and signed out for the evening I did my normal routine of checking the prices of flights. Well last night I found a good one on www.OneTravel.com. Round trip from Atlanta to Hong Kong and back $786.67 fees and tax included. Before fees and tax $699.00.
I leave March 31 at 6:00am and arrive April 1 at 1:15pm. Then ferry to Shenzhen-Nashan. I return April 11 at 3:15pm and arrive in Atlanta at 10:40pm the same day.
Finally in 6 weeks I am on my way to China. Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Shaun,
I'm with you on the Kph thing, i still wholeheartedly stick with my mph, whenever i possibly can!! haha!! ....But when it comes to the Temperature scale, the F scale is now totally meaningless to me these days!! As for driving on the wrong side of the road, ..it's horses for courses, i can drive on either side, and have done for years now. Cyprus by the way is the same as the UK, so it's like home from home ..haha!!!
See i told you the airfares will start coming down didn't i !! haha!! Maybe you even jumped in a bit on the quick side, as they could fall even more!!! lol!!!
David.......
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6 weeks and counting shaun :icon_cheesygrin: enjoy your visit and i hope to see
the 2 of you in GZ if possible and we could discuss the things we pm about
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Don't Forget Shaun that if you go directly from the airport at Hong Kong to Shenzhen then not only do you get a few Hong Kong Dollars back in your pocket as a little refund but they will also go and collect your baggage from the reclaim area and put it straight onto your ferry for you. Just head for the signs that mention Macua Ferries and you will find the booking desks OK.
Arriving at 1.51pm is a great time to catch a ferry direct. There is a Ferry leaving direct at 2.30pm and 4.30pm
Willy
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Ted, Yes. Willy, Thanks.
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Shaun, first; seeing you on screen in your underware might scare the heck out of peggy...ha and there might be other people watching also....The big show...haha
Good price on the airline tickets, you make sure you have a good time there and don't get into trouble. We don't have the bail money yet...:icon_cheesygrin:
Take Peggy out for some Peking-Duck. That will get her on your good side fast, fast, fast. I know it would me....haha
Also, got the new computer (I'm using it now) got a camera and mic (when I learn how to use it) so will be setting it up more in the next few days, and we can
qq to each other, I'm not as good looking as Peggy, but I can talk your ear off....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Peggy and I have been talking about spending the last two days in Hong Kong. She has always wanted to go there. I thought about being on the beach but and open to what she wants to do. I have asked and she tells me whatever I want to do she just wants to be with me. Gee, I hate that kind of thing.
She did say that she has always wanted to know how the rich vacation. So, considering the fact that I am not a rich man my my standard does anyone have and idea what would make it memorable for her?
Hotels, restaurants, and things to do is what I am looking for. We will arrive April the 9th and I fly out on the 11th.
Shaun
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What about a late night Riverboat ride mate...Romantic and Memorable?
I say this NOT knowing if there is one avaible ;-((
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There is Victoria harbor cruises.You can take a boat ride at night and have dinner.
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Shaun,
here are a few things to do: from your hotel you can go on the PINK DOLPHIN CRUISE and LANTAU ISLAND
they pick you up and bring you back. the dolphin cruise your on the boat about
3 or 4 hours they serve unlimited tea or coffee and they take you out to see the
pink dolphins at play. its a very interesting and great picture oppurtunity.
you can take the trip to LANTAU ISLAND which is about an 8 to 9 hour adventure
which is really nice and they do serve you lunch thats about 100 usa dollars but
many things to see as you also go to the top
then there is the SYMPHONY OF LIGHTS CRUISE which is quite enjoyable
and if you want to impress her take her to the 66 RESTUARAUNT which is a revolving one at the top of the
largest building. great food and atmosphere
Ted
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Shaun,
The mainland Chinese used to have to have a permit to visit HK, not sure if that is still required or not. Others here like Willy or Ted will maybe able to guide you on that.
If you get the chance, visit the Oceanarium on HK Island, They also have a pretty impressive planetarium too. As for restaurants, .... Take your pick Shaun, there are thousands of them, covering every nationality you can think of. You'll be spoiled for choice, ...from the very cheap to the ultra, ultra expensive ...lol!!!
Transport around HK is fast, cheap and efficient via the MTR (metro) The 2 main things everyone tends to do in HK is take the Peak Train to the Peak, and crossing from Kowloon to the Island on the Star Ferry.
Just thought of another thing you can do, ....Have afternoon tea in HK's most unique and famous hotel ..''The Peninsula'' (Just opposite the Star Ferry terminal on the Kowloon side)
I'm a bit out of date on being able to suggest or recommend a hotel these days, but i'm sure others here will be able help you there!!
Just remember, whatever you decide to do or go, it will seem that a million others have had the same idea!! haha!!! One thing is for sure, it is TOTALLY different to Mainland China, and you will find that many of the locals speak English. In the unlikely event you need to speak to a policeman , look for one that has red colour band/strip under his shoulder number, that indicates he speaks English, others have a black colour band /strip under his number.
Shaun, there is really so much you can see and do in just 2 days in HK, far too much for me to list all of them. Go on the internet and checkout the tourist attractions it will give you a much better idea of whats available to you on your short trip to HK....
David
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they still need to obtain that to go to hong kong it takes about 20 days to get it and that
is week days not consecutive days
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.
If that's the case, she had better get her application in Now!!! ...lol!!!
David...
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Thanks guys, this helps a lot.
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they still need to obtain that to go to hong kong it takes about 20 days to get it and that
is week days not consecutive days
Noiw does she have to apply for that permit in her home town or can that be from anywhere. I believe that Peggy has a registered house address some way from Shenzhen.
Willy
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they still need to obtain that to go to hong kong it takes about 20 days to get it and that
is week days not consecutive days
Noiw does she have to apply for that permit in her home town or can that be from anywhere. I believe that Peggy has a registered house address some way from Shenzhen.
Willy
Yes in Shaoguan. This is becoming more complicated. I will let her know. Thanks Willy
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Shaun, your only going to be there 3 days?
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Don, I will be in China 10 days. I thought the last 2 we would go to Hong Kong.
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Shaun, a word of advice. Get a nice hotel room with room service. Stay in bed (with peggy) order room service
make her a happy woman, then go to Hong Kong. If you follow this advice, you'll be married before you come
home...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Don,
I am not looking to marry this trip. Peggy is but I told her it will not be this trip. The second trip yes if every goes well the first one.
Peggy was already on top of the permit to Hong Kong thing. Her comment to me was, "Shaun, you agreed I arrange time? Yes I will be very quick apply for my Hong Kong pass." It makes me laugh. Guys I am have so much fun with this woman and I have not even gone there yet. I can't wait to get there.
Thanks for all of the suggestions.
Shaun
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Don,
I am not looking to marry this trip. Peggy is but I told her it will not be this trip. The second trip yes if every goes well the first one.
Peggy was already on top of the permit to Hong Kong thing. Her comment to me was, "Shaun, you agreed I arrange time? Yes I will be very quick apply for my Hong Kong pass." It makes me laugh. Guys I am have so much fun with this woman and I have not even gone there yet. I can't wait to get there.
Thanks for all of the suggestions.
Shaun
Well Shaun - there are a lot of Bros. who wished they were in your position. They are all fantasising on what treatment you are going to receive from Peggy when trying to convince you she is the one to marry!!!!!
Willy
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she will convince him Willy, nothing like a determined chinese lady
and Shaun will probably marry first trip :icon_cheesygrin:
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Mike,
I am still counting weeks at this point. 36 days.
The marriage will not happen this trip. I may have to back it up with another quick trip but I will not rush.
I am really ready to go. I am now chatting with her and her younger sister who lives in the US.
Earlier tonight I was talking with Peggy and she informed me that a girlfriend was there. I could see her arm but not her face. Peggy was showing me off. I asked Peggy if I needed to find an American husband for her friend. I see a hand and arm hit Peggy and she was laughing hysterically. It seems the girlfriend reads English better than Peggy.
Rocky I'll check her out when I get there. I'll ask her if she likes living in the desert, in a mud hut. :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
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Shaun, the mud was free....:icon_cheesygrin: Introducing her to a mud hut in the middle of the desert...priceless...:icon_cheesygrin:
It sounds like the brothers have you married off, and Peggy is really serious about marrying you, her family is serious, her friends are
serious, Shaun my friend, you don't stand a chance...hahaha. you'll
probably hear from the chairman on this one....:icon_biggrin: I
hear they have ways there to make you marry....ha perhaps water-
boarding or sticks under the fingernails to make you...snicker....
By the way, is anyone on this net taking bets on shaun ???
so far I got 6 to 1 in favor....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Hmmmmm, This is interesting.
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I got him at 21/20 to fall (marry) at the first hurdle.....Lol:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Hmmm..... Everyone Anti up. I think I want a little of this action.
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I will have the same bet that Shaun is putting on!!!! As his info is from the horse's nose - so to speak.
Willy
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Thanks Mike. You're right. It is like wine, don't open it before it is time. It tastes better that way.
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I don't know Shaun, Peggy and friends seem pretty determined. I trust you (all kidding aside) that you don't want to get married
this trip, but with the way Peggy loves you I just have a feeling that in two weeks she will get what she wants and you will melt
like an Icecycle. Keep in mind that she and her friends have 10 days to work on your feelings., and work they will. I forsee that
you are about to be pampered like no man has been pampered before....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
If you don't get married or engaged it will be a wonder for sure. I have a feeling that she will melt that hard old heart of yours
and turn it into mush...
word of advice, try not to drool so much when you see her....haha:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Now see Don, you are already changing the terms. Married or engaged? I can't can say no marriage but I cannot guarantee the engaged part. Since I am arriving in Hong Kong at 1:15 and then will see her about 3:30 the engagement could happen at 3:31 or later that evening.
But I do have will power to resist. I would rather suffer through a few days and see how hard she works to get me to break and give in. It may take 9 of the 10 days. I'll just have to suffer through. :s
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... I'll just have to suffer through. :s
And suffer you will....(In a good way)...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::angel:
-
I predict that shaun will gain 40 lbs in 10 days, and be so pampered, he won't want to come back. They will have to drag
him to the plane....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Now that Don might be true... Drag me kicking and screaming.
-
Only because he will be leaving his "wife"...hahaha
Shaun, you know all those dumplings that you will be eating, you'll be over-weight for the plane and they won't let you on (new rules - cnn) so you will have to stay in China....oop's, what a awful thing to have happen.
By the way, that is FAA rules for all airlines according to CNN. "EAT SHAUN - EAT" if the dumplings don't work, see Willy, I hear
he has a Chicken farm with lots of eggs...:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: and corn mash to wash it down...haha
-
So that is what Willy is using all the money he saved from his Viagra days. Eggs and corn mash. What an unusual combination. Willy say it isn't so.
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So that is what Willy is using all the money he saved from his Viagra days. Eggs and corn mash. What an unusual combination. Willy say it isn't so.
Not spending a penny - 75 eggs were a gift on top of the 15 left by my wife.
The corn is being thrown by neighbours as they keep hearing this clucking sound as I pace around with my head jerking forward. And I am trying to resist the urge to stand on the edge of the balcony at daybreak to herald a new day with a little crowing!!!
Apart from that every is well in my coop - oops home.
Willy
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Willy,
how long is angel gone for? looks like eggs till then :icon_cheesygrin:
-
Isn't it almost Easter? Willy, you can bring Easter to a whole new culture. Hard boil the eggs, color them and hide them for the children to find. Tell your wife you sacrificed the eggs in a gesture of thanksgiving (wrong holiday but...) for all the wonderful thing the people in China have done for you and wanted to give back in a unique way and spread joy for all of the children.
Then go and do the things you planned with eating out.
You could end the discussion with the most humble look and say, "If I only had more eggs to give to the children."
-
Well you should know eggsackly when Easter is Shaun. It starts here the day after you land in Hong Kong so you will be in time for Willy's Easter Eggstravanza. We give a selected visa holder 75 eggs to carry - no dish, no bag, just straight into their hands and arms. They then have to present their passports and open the page at the correct place for immigrations to inspect. And handle their luggage as well. After managing two flights of stairs. For every egg damaged one day is removed from the permitted stay in China.
And guess what Shaun your seat number came out of the hat first. Well it was second drawn really - the first said 7 1/2 so we guessed that was the hat size label as Scottish_Rob was unlikely to be travelling with you on that flight.:icon_cheesygrin:
We look forward to you joining the fun on the 1st April and I will enjoy eating out in the meantime!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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Willy,
will you wear the easter bunny costume and we will go around passing out eggs:icon_cheesygrin:
-
Hi Willy,
Can you get Cadbury's Creme Eggs in China? Or just the 100 year old variety?
-
Brett,
Yep!!, ....You sure can find the ''Cadbury Creme Eggs'' in China, Mainly at the Western supermarkets, but have seen them elsewhere too. There's not much in the way of western confectionery that you can't find in China these days, After all, .... the Chinese do have sweet tooth's!!
David......
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Willy!
Thanks for the heads up. I will place a super duper extra heavy duty 60 gallon (sorry David 5o US measurements only) trash bag in my carry on. Along with that will be the easy use retractable, folding, decompressing, light weight hand truck to carry everything.
I am sure being in China that the eggs will not be refrigerated so I will also bring a bottle of freshen to hide the smell. Of course you do realized because of the added supplies to bring your present from America will be left behind. I am sorry but there just will not be enough room with the bag and hand truck. But I just realized that there will not be a problem because I will be able to give you 75 perfect eggs as a gift from me to you. I know you will be happy.
Your friend,
Shaun
-
Shaun,
Your USA Gallon is even different than everyone else's gallon, couldn't even get that right!!!! .... haha!!! As i remember it's smaller than the imperial gallon. It's all down you lot's, Micky Mouse weights and measures!!! lol!!
David....
-
David,
so anti - american hahahhaaha
Ted
-
Ted,
I would have thought it was more America's ....''Anti World''!! hahaha!!!
David....
-
David,
hahahaha
Ted
-
Hey Dave...
(http://www.artie.com/20040716/arg-usa-raspberry-bg-url.gif)
(http://www.animationplayhouse.com/rasp1.gif)
-
thats a good one Vince lol
-
.
This is WAR!!!!!! ...hahaha!!
David....
-
David,
hahaha dont take it personal all in fun
Ted
-
Recently through unnamed sources a picture of Willy's kitchen table became avalible....:icon_cheesygrin: And his new truck...:icon_cheesygrin:
-
Rocky,
Willy came to Guangzhou and pcked me up in his truck.
It rides like a cadillac :icon_cheesygrin: and we had a
bunch of chinese ladies running after us behind the truck.
Good thing Angel and Sisi didnt see that :icon_cheesygrin:
-
Go down the road at 90 mph and you won't have to pluck them....:icon_cheesygrin:
-
I didn't know Willy was so talented with decorating eggs.
David, dem is fightin words. When I finish with you, you will be all taped up. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
-
Now Rocky you shouldn't have photoshopped that 3rd photo. I had to undo it back to the original photo.
[attachment=1609]
-
LOL LOL LOL
almost fell out of my chair on that one...hahahaha :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
-
wow that was a good one Vince will make me think about posting pics here lol
-
I just had to throw these in the bucket....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
lately when driving past Willy's house this is what I see....
Now you can own a genuine "'Willy hat" for only 1 dollar...contact
Willy to get your very own "Willy egg collectors hat" (same day shipping)
Coo Coo ka choo....willy's the egg man, And I am the walrus.
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
sorry willy couldn't help it...haha
-
I am not happy!!!!!!!
My wife and her family have got a lot to answer for.
Did they no realise that WWW3 could easily start with an excess of eggs.
Not bothered about failing Anglo/US relations, not bothered that we are on the brink of WW3 here. Not bothered that they have set brother against brother.
What I am bothered about is this new avator that has just appeared!!!!!
I mean how am I supposed to sell these eggs with such a pathetic display of the merchandise:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Just wait until she gets home I will rip her panties off!!!! They are killing me - they cut right into your...........:angel:
Willy
PS Nice one Vince and Rocky - pity that Jianada is going to whip Meiguo in the ice hockey.
-
Now that I think about it, pictures #2 and #3 are just the right type of business to get into. Hey Shaun, I think we found a job for you in China. You and Willy
can go in on this together. Willy produces the product and you with your excellet sales skills can handle the shop. Just think of the profits, and all the 1000 year old
eggs you can quaf down....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
By the way Willy, that Avatar is excellent, its you!
-
By the way Willy, that Avatar is excellent, its you!
Just wondering if I could get a fancvy dress costume made up like that and I could walk around China in it.
On Second thoughts - people would stare at me!!!!!!:icon_cool:
I mean I would give a false impression - well you know what they say about blokes with big feet!
Willy
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My wife has just arrived home. She thinks the avatar is a real laugh and she went an upacked another 40 eggs.
That 115 eggs and still 4 in the fridge.
I will try and get a photo of my table.
Willy
My wife has just arrived home. She thinks the avatar is a real laugh and she went an upacked another 40 eggs.
That 115 eggs and still 4 in the fridge.
I will try and get a photo of my table.
Willy
yes it is true
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Willy,
Boy!! ...Do you need to worry about getting Egg Bound!! If i were you i'd nip down to the pharmacy and get yourself some anti-cholesterol medication, ... or you could be dead this time next year ...lol!!!!
Are those your Chinese lessons on the wall behind you or English lessons for ''her indoors''?? haha!!
David......
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Willy,
You hit the jackpot!!!!!!!!! You found a good woman AND a part time job all in the same year. Sell, Sell, Sell.
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Willy,
Boy!! ...Do you need to worry about getting Egg Bound!! If i were you i'd nip down to the pharmacy and get yourself some anti-cholesterol medication, ... or you could be dead this time next year ...lol!!!!
Are those your Chinese lessons on the wall behind you or English lessons for ''her indoors''?? haha!!
David......
English lessons. She has them stuck up everwhere. She looks over my shoulder at meal times - well it beats looking at my face!!!!
Willy
-
My wife has just arrived home. She thinks the avatar is a real laugh and she went an upacked another 40 eggs.
That 115 eggs and still 4 in the fridge.
I will try and get a photo of my table.
Willy
Dems a LOT-a-eggs, Willy!!:rolleyes:
Don
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Rocky,
Willy came to Guangzhou and pcked me up in his truck.
It rides like a cadillac :icon_cheesygrin: and we had a
bunch of chinese ladies running after us behind the truck.
Good thing Angel and Sisi didnt see that :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy wowed Guangzhou with his egg truck
You could hear it, cluckety cluck cluck
Pluck them chickens, pluckety pluck
Chinese chicks got so lovestruck
88 8ggs for just 8 bucks
They will bring you such g00d luck !!! :heart:
Sing the jingle, sell em eggs ! :icon_cheesygrin:
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Willy,
i see from your picture at home that you
dont have all your eggs in one basket
:icon_cheesygrin:
-
Willy here is a little present for you, you can use it while driving that truck....
-
Willy,
When I arrive in 30 days I would like two over easy, one over hard, three strips of bacon and two slices of toast. I am assuming you will have a new shipment by then. :icon_cheesygrin:
-
I am looking for 20 different money making ideas, so thanks for the idea Willy, I will add selling eggs to my list!
I adore eggs though, do you keep your chickens in the street like most Chinese do? Free range is best!
-
Brett,
he has them on his balcony and lets them in the house at
night for feeding hahaha when their egg output slows then
he will make chicken soup
-
Update: Peggy is in Shaoguan applying for a Visa to Hong Kong. She is also making sure that all the paper work is in good shape with her divorce. We have talked a little via cell phone and I came to the realization that we will need a handheld translator while I am there. I think I will wait until I get there to get one. We have relied a little too much on google translate. We both have computers and that will have to do for the first day.
On a side note Saturday as I was driving to work my cell phone rang. When I answered I heard a woman speaking Chinese. It was not Peggy but the voice did have a familiar ring to it. I did recognize a few words but other than that I didn't have a clue what she was saying. I told her I did not speak Chinese and then I realized who it was. It was Peggy's little sister who lives here in the US. She said Shaun and then she asked if I knew where Peggy was. I laughed and thought how ironic that she was asking me where Peggy was. Then I realized yet once again that there are family members that already consider me a part of the family. It is a good feeling.
We talked about a few other things that I may share at a later date.
29 days and counting.
-
I heard that they are like pets and follow him everywhere, even to the laundrymat....where the chinese lady's get a little upset with chickens roosting everywhere,
and laying eggs in the clean laundry.
-
Willy here is a little present for you, you can use it while driving that truck....
Nice one - Thanks Rocky - is that copyright protected??
Maybe just the thing as they buy eggs here by the weight and they are put into a thin plastic bag.
Willy
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Willy, it's all yours. Since your in China you should be able to get some printed up cheap...then send them out to the guy's as xmas presents, or give them
to your new family members....beats the hell out of red envelopes..
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rocky he could also fill them with rmb to pass out lol
-
I had a banting imprint on me once. Yes I raised chickens once. Nobody, and I mean nobody could get near me at all. He went after my ex-wife once and spiked her. That bird was on my shoulder almost all the time.
I figured that I would run a couple of different avatars to commemorate Willys egg business. I got them in an e-mail about a month ago.
Dave C
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Willy, Do you need an egg timer? I'll be there soon.
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[align=center]
rocky he could also fill them with rmb to pass out lol
Or you could just send me envelopes stuffed with rmb or US dollars are just as acceptable and post to 603, f/3...............etc etc
No egg timer required Shaun - I cannot afford to eat the stock!!!!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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Willy, you mean "brood" if you let them sit much longer....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Willy, you mean "brood" if you let them sit much longer....:icon_cheesygrin:
Mature eggs get heavier Rocky and as they are sold by weight here that increases the value.:fi_lone_ranger:
Willy
-
Willy's slogan. "I'll sell no egg before its time." OR "We have your egg head, properly trained."
-
You know, it just came to me, that with you two on the loose in China, the country will never be the same.....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Rocky,
i dont have enough time to keep an eye on two
of them Willy is already to much to handle. hahahaha
Ted
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AHHHH YES,........ Eggcentric Willy! Some ideas for his egg collection.
Dave C
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My Vote:
First picture...Willy and wife
Third picture...Willy before he was married...
Fifth picture....Willy and Shaun together finally...lookout China the invasion has begun...
Forth picture...China after a week of Willy and Shaun
second picture..Willy, Shaun, Scottish Rob, and Ted after a night on the town ???
Willy, had a brain fart the other day. what if you fed your hens Viagra, and sold the eggs as "SUPER CHICKEN" eggs, with the slogan, "become a rooster in your henhouse"....:icon_cheesygrin:
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Rocky,
i have to stay sober because someone has to watch the children:icon_cheesygrin:
Ted
-
Back on topic here,
As the date of my trip approaches my lady tells me more and more. It is all good too. My feelings tell me that it is just right. She was self concious about her english and said that she wanted to wait to talk face to face. I told her that we will still have to cross that bridge at some point. She gave me her cell phone number. I don't think I will be let down by this woman. I just hope that I don't make a bad first impression either on the phone or meeting her face to face.
Dave C
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David C,
It is my impression that most Chinese women who speak some English are self conscious about it. I know Peggy apologizes for her English all the time. She tells me her English is terrible. I reassure her that she is doing very well. We practice it every day. When she has a hard time finding the word I tell her it is OK. I let her give it a good try and if it looks like she will not find the right word then I offer suggestions. Be patient with her and encourage her.
Don't try to impress her, just be yourself. Showing up, treating her nice, and doing what you promised will impress her enough. Relax and take it easy.
Remind me of these same words in about 20 days as I am sure I will be thinking the same way.
Shaun
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Dave,
My suggestion, try to encourage her to practice more. Just like Shaun, my lady is always apologising for her english... and I tell her her english is fine (it's a little rough, but quite good actually). Sometimes I will correct some of her sentences, but I do cheat a little and sometimes use google translate or another of my translation tools to throw in some chinese words (I know what it sounds like, but I don't know what the character(s) look like).
Just relax and reassure her that she'll be ok and everything should be good.
-
Shaun, I've been learning chinese also, when you get there, you will be her "nu-pan-yu" I believe good friend is "how-pan-yu" and
damn if I can remember what "girlfriend" is. I know it's a "pan-yu" of some kind.
-
panyu a small city outside of guagzhou
-
Just tell them that they do not have pronounce everything perfectly to make them self understood.
They do not have to sound like a real English speaker. After all we understand Scottish Rob Ok (most of the time LOL - LOL - LOL sorry will have to stop for a while to get over this laughing fit)- thats better - If they get it almost right we will understand them.
Willy
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Don,
She is already calling me boyfriend. She is calling all of her girlfriends and chatting me up. Her best friend of 20 years lives in Guangzhou and of course since we will spend some time there with the ambassador we will see the friend. I've not met the woman but I already like her. Peggy wants me to shave my mustache and goat. I have been saying no to her, that she needs to try and kiss it first. When I suggest that she gives me the awful face which is quite cute and I like to see as much as possible.
She told her girlfriend that she was having difficulty convincing me to shave and her girlfriend told her that American Men really like their facial hair and even some find their identity in it to which I replied OK??? She told Peggy that she needed to stop before she lost me. :huh: Anyway Peggy said she was sorry for pushing me to shave and would not say anything else about it. Of course when she apologized I felt a little bad but I am not shaving.
I had to shave it about seven years ago for a roll in an opera. Everyone, including my ex who didn't like it, begged me to grow it back.
I am having way too much fun with all of this. I am a nu- pan yu? Do I eventually become an old-pan-yu?
-
Shaun,
a lot of chinese women feel that way about facial hair i was asked about
shaving mine and i said no also and explained why and it is ok now
-
I already asked my lady about shaving. I had heard about the facial hair thing so I asked her. She told me to leave it on. I guess I better change my avatar again.
Dave C
Shaun,
You are going to be with the Ambassador??? I wish I would have known. I have 1 movie for him so far. It is at home though. I am waiting for the other one I ordered him. Oh well, next time maybe.
Dave C
-
You are worried about a little beard. I aked my wife if she could tidy up my sideboards today. OH WHAT A MISTAKE.:huh: Before long I had a short back and sides all over. She said that would save me 15 rmb!!!!
And the weather has turn cold again today.
Willy
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Seeing a picture of Shaun all bald in the face is scary. You go from "goat" to "old goat". Just thinking about it is funny. Keep it on
shaun (but soft..women like that) and retain your youth.
Sounds like she is already putting her foot down, becareful Shaun, ......Shaun....errr Shaun....where did that rascal go.,..:icon_cheesygrin:
Thats ok Willy, they make "pasties" or an Elvis wig.... thank you, thank you verrry much....:dodgy:
-
I just bought a case of hair conditioner and trying to make my goatee as soft as a baby's behind... :icon_cheesygrin:
I just know she will convince me to shave it then say, "Oh you look much better with it. Grow it back." :dodgy:
-
My wife doesn't like it when my facial hear grows. Not that I have a beard or anything. But it irritates her skin when I kiss her.
-
Martin,
does she kiss you during your marathon dumpling eating contests?
sorry couldnt resist that. ok i will be lke rocky and go to my corner:icon_cheesygrin:
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Martin,
does she kiss you during your marathon dumpling eating contests?
sorry couldnt resist that. ok i will be lke rocky and go to my corner:icon_cheesygrin:
Ironically enough, I have hardly had any dumplings in China. I have had more in Toronto, if you can believe that!
-
Shaun, isn't that always the way it happens,
To shave or not to shave...that is the question...wether it be nobler to be balder faster or suffer the slings and arrows of my lady....
-
do you have homemade ones in toronto or do you go out
for them Maxx?? homemade is always better i think
-
Don, It is a veil to hide such a handsome man. :icon_cheesygrin:
-
Tis only a moment my dear, to reveal the truth that hides within... (the barber hath shakey hands and a dull blade methinks)
-
I will shed no beard before it's time. She must kiss it a while first. :icon_cheesygrin:
And yes, I will determine what constitutes a while.
-
ok Shaun the while will be two days lol
-
Two days Shaun, better brush up on the "moves" you learned in high school or at the drive-in....lol :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
"Shaun's version of "Grease", stranded at the airport".....lol :icon_cheesygrin:
eat lots of Oysters Shaun.....
-
he wont be straded security will pick him up thinking he is homeless
and got thru security lol
-
Don,
I think I have a few better moves than I got in high school. :angel:
If I have any problems I will tell the security that I have a Chinese woman and jerky and I am not afraid to use them. :icon_cheesygrin:
I get one phone call. I will call Peggy and tell her they are holding me in the Atlanta airport for vagrancy and tell her to call Ted and tell him the same but that I am thinking about eating the jerky. Both of them will be there to get me out of trouble.
Ted, after Peggy finishes with them there might be a little left over for you.
-
yes she will rip them a new one and they will get off the phone
"and who was that masked lady" :icon_cheesygrin:
and if you eat the jerky i will tell Peggy "bad man bad man"
and she will rip you also for being a bad man hahahaha
-
Shaun, I was just wondering which hospital to visit you in.....:icon_cheesygrin: That will be intensive care right?
By the way, what's thing about Jerkey, arn't you allowed to eat it for some reason ? Does it cause a reaction to the Viagra? like
rash's, spots or blood clots, weany turning orange or somthing?
By the way, I'm lactose intolrant, so find out if they serve any milk products on the plane will you. They will think I'm some sort of insergent trying to gas the plane...
-
Don,
Ted requested some jerky since I was going to see him in Guangzhou. We teasing each other about it.
Lactose intolerant? I just thought you were intolerant. :icon_cheesygrin:
Well we are getting closer, 18 days before I leave. I decided to tell my sister earlier this evening. Boy what a mistake. She is upset. I tried to prepare people months ago and decided to wait to talk with them later. Well, later is here and it looks like my family is going to be upset. Oh well, they can get over it.
-
Shaun,
why are they upset? what is wrong with what yur doing? or do
they hold out hope you will get back with your ex?
my family didnt like me moving here thought i would get picked up
and sent to the chinese Gulag prison. to many people fear this
country becuase its communism and they vacation in Mexico
ive been to Mexico and thats a dangerous place to be
-
Ted, I do not know why. She has know all along that I was talking with a woman in China so it is only natural that the next step is to go and see. My guess is that she thought this was something that would pass. She is going to call me later today to talk with me I imagine to try and talk me out of it. FAT CHANCE! I hope this will not be the normal reception as I begin to tell others.
I've told a few friends and there are a some that think it is great and some that think I've lost my mind. My response is, "you just figured me out? I lost it years ago." Also there are a couple of local women who have been pouring it on trying to get me to go out with them. I think about Rob's tale about his ex just before he took his trip. I have politely turned them down.
The only thing I know at this point is that I am going and I don't care what they think. All that will change when I come back and I am still the same person, well..... almost the same person. :icon_cheesygrin:
-
thats a good attitude Shaun i hte it when my family wants to live my life for me:@:@
it drives me crazy:s
-
Shaun,
Are feeling excited yet?:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: ...wait till you tell your sister your not coming back to the states............
P.S. This place ROCKS!
-
Shaun,
I think family at times always thinks about the worst. They tend to completely forget about our feelings and why we are doing what we are doing. I had been talking about going to China, either to live or just find a girl who will love me fo almost six years now. Only a few weeks before I left for Beijing they started expressing their concern. They thought it was all a phase. Just a week ago I took my mother out for dinner, she started asking me if I found another girl (She was fond of the last). I told her I had began talking to a nice, down to earth girl. She was excited and told me I should get my affairs in order and just move to China. I think it takes time for it to sink in that you are doing this thing and what they say will be considered but in the end it will be your heart that draws you to China anyhow. If I havent said it before, good luck to you and Peggy. Your a good brother and you deserve this man.
-
We only get one go at this thing called life so we should do it right is my opinion!
If my happiness lies in China than wild horses wouldn't stop me from pursuing that.
I'm lucky my folks are supportive. My dad met Sunny on webcam over Christmas and is always asking about her so i guess I'm lucky :)
-
" Also there are a couple of local women who have been pouring it on trying to get me to go out with them.
Shaun, you may have stubbled upon a good item (how to make american woman jelious)...or you could "take advantage" of
the situation....(who me?) :blush: Na Shaun wouldn't do that would he.....:angel:
By the way Shaun, if you open the door to go to the airport and there is an angry mob outside with signs that say,
"don't go shaun" and "we love you Shaun" I would say that your family is serious....:icon_cheesygrin:
sneak out the back door...heh heh :icon_cool:
Good luck my friend....dont forget the beef jerky for TED, he wants to feed belly dancers in the park with it....hahaha
-
Josh, Ronan, Ted,
Thanks for the comments and encouragement.
Don,
What can I say. There is an old saying, too many women and so little time. :angel: The thought crossed my mind a time for two. One is really good looking, I mean REALLY good looking, she told me she was a member of the mile high club. She also told me she could keep me warm at night. Tempting? Yes. Follow through? No. I think what lies before me will bring much more happiness than a couple of nights with another woman.
The angry mob will be 3 children and a few co-workers and they do not scare me. Well... except the oldest daughter. She is a personal trainer and teaches self defense while going to Physical Therapy school. Her under graduate degree is in exercise science. Now she could not only hurt me but she might be able to hog tie me. I wonder if I can still bribe her with milk and cookies?
-
All that will change when I come back and I am still the same person, well..... almost the same person. :icon_cheesygrin:
Well the bets are on for you returning clean shaven.
One way or another the old mans goatee beard is going. Like it or not. You doze off in the afternoon and swish it is gone.
You will not even feel the shaving cream. One piece of that hair removing plaster, the stuff that ladies use on their legs, one piece slapped across your face and swish it is gone. Accompanied by a mighty scream from our Shaun.
They may not get it all with the first try but my money is on you shaving the rest yourself before they get the second plaster ready!!!!
Willy
Tell the beard it is on borrowed time.
-
well back on topic here,
shaun just tell the family- because i know it is just right--
and tell them why you feel that way thats what i did and
it worked well for me
-
I am already there. My sister is playing the disappearing act right now. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
I have the full support of my kids and my parents. It was the single women that I know here, in Canada, that gave me the flak about eastern women. Usual comment was, "Western women not good enough for you?" I would usually just say, "Thats right!" or no comment at all. Every man that I know that has followed this route has told me to go for it! You will not regret it. I'm going for it. 2 weeks from tonight I will be at the airport hotel trying to get some sleep before my flight. I know I will not succeed in getting any. I am having trouble sleeping now. BTW, how does one edit the "registered user" to read something like 14 days to go?
Dave C
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Dave,
go into your user cp and you can change there
Ted
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Dave...where are you flying out of...Toronto, or Detroit?
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Dave C,
It is almost the same here. Most of the single women I know have given me a lot of flack about it and most of the men say go for it. One woman said, "What's wrong, you cant handle an American woman?" My response was, "I don't want to handle an American woman." There is a "been there done that" woman at work when she said why I said, "been there, done that, got the divorce to prove it." She about knocked the crap out of me.
We're leaving the same day. You back up in Canada again? What airport are you flying from?
Go to User CP. It is in the left hand corner of your screen just below Welcome back Dave. Then in the left bar, edit the profile.
Shaun
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I'm still in florida right now. Trying to help my mother around here, She tells me she doesn't need it though. I will return to Windsor in about a week to get ready for my trip. I am leaving from Detroit. My main concern about the trip turned out to be travel time to and from the airport. (30 minutes versus 3 1/2 hours) Thats wrong, my main concern about the trip is my lady! I am looking forward to the trip and meeting her. I have just started to chat with her on QQ as well as exchange text messages with her. I can't get enough of her. If things do work out with her I will have a story to put up here to go with the pictures. I plan on taking as many as I can. I sent her flowers today, just because. She seemed happy about that. Sent me a text when she got them. Things just seem right when I converse with her. I have the feeling that my life is about to have a big change in it. I hope it is for the better.
BTW, thanks for the direction on finding the registered user stuff. Once again, right in front of me...
Dave C
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Dave,
hope for the better??? looks like and sounds like everything is progressing along fine.
looking forward to all the good news you will be posting here in a few weeks. and thanks
for all the other things you did. very grateful for that.
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Ted,
I was happy to do what ever I could to help you out. I don't mind helping anybody out. Hope to meet up sometime in the future. KunZhi was from Shenzhen and she has family all around that area so if things work out with us I may be in your neck of the woods in the future. This may be a year or so down the road though. I expect to spend some time with her family in the near future.
I will be in contact with you soon Ted.
Dave C
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looking forward to it
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Let's make that bet, shaven and married....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz where did my beard go,,,I'm what.....to who?.....damn those pills......
:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Hi all,
I have had a very difficult 4 days. A lot has happened. First I need to fess up on a few things. When I started on this site back in June 2009 I was a few days from my divorce. Well, the judge turned it down. My wife and I met about it. We continued. In August, she filed it again and once again it was rejected. I was writing the divorce papers and we were bypassing the lawyer route. The judge finally said to me, in essence that as long as I did not use a lawyer that he would do all he could to keep from granting the divorce. He suggested that she get a lawyer. She looked and finally found one. The plan was to file in October but it didn't happen. There was a difference in opinion. Got it cleared up and was suppose to file again in December. January I began to push her to file. All that to say that I am not divorced as I have been portraying myself. For that I am sorry, but it always looked like it would be completed any day now. So here I am 11 days to go and I am still married.
Last week I gave her some more money to go to the lawyer. Something happened, I do not know what it was but the lawyer quit. I think they got mad at each other. At first she said it was my fault but last night she said it was her fault. Tuesday she has an appointment with another lawyer but it appears that it will not happen before the China trip. I tried to speak with her lawyer to find out and he asked me to leave his office. I did.
I just finished speaking with Peggy. What a trouper. She said, "come to China, I will wait for you." Now how about that. Spoke with one of my children about it and she said, "Dad, there is no marriage here for you, go find out if she is the one." Huh, am I blessed or what?
So I am happy and sad all at the same time. Happy because Peggy is absolutely the greatest and my daughter is too. Sad because of the drawn out marriage and keeping it hidden from all of you.
Shaun
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Don't worry about keeping it hidden from us. If you speak from the heart then you stay true to your soul. I can relate to waiting for something to come to a conclusion without ever knowing when. At least having a date marked on a calender gives the mind rest. It is the waiting without knowing which frustrates the most.
Keep your spirits up and I will toast your endurace with my own spirits here - a shot of the Captain Morgan :-/ and may the time wisky on by.
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As far as I am concerned, you are NOTmarried !!!....just waiting for the legal formalities....
Pity you dont have same rules as in Aus...it is compulsory to get a Lawyer involved from the get-go....if you had, maybe this would not have happened !!!
Dont sweat the small stuff, we all understand.
David
ps...your Ex does seem sorta prickly and difficult :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
no apologies needed to us. you just need to keep Peggy in the loop and be
honest with her. thats what is most important. if you were married and or
in a relationship with another woman and STILL TALKING to peggy then that
is a different matter. looks like Peggy doesnt care she is willing to wait for you
to complete everything. now thats a good lady who is committed to you. WHY
i have no idea HAHAHAHAHA and if you would have screwed it up then i guess
you would have had to mail everything to me HAHAHAHAHA just kidding
you have a lady who cares now go see her and look at the bright side in a short
time after the first visit you get to go back and marry her:icon_cheesygrin:
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Ron, David E, Ted,
Thanks for your support. Things seem to be working out. It is amazing to me. Life is looking good. My store profits have improved, and I have an amazing women. One of my children likes her. She want to talk with Peggy again later this week. 10 days to happiness and counting.
Maxx, do you believe it?
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10 days to happiness and counting.
C'Mon Shaun not need for such words. I know that you cannot wait to get to the same country where I live but your overdoing your appreciative remarks to me!!!!!:angel::angel:
Just a simple phrase like 'have 4 dozen eggs waiting' would be just as nice.
Willy
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My question is .... why do you need to employ an overpriced leech (lawyer) if you have sorted everything out between you both?? To say that this judge is impartial is a joke!! Unless there's something your not telling, what possible reason could he have for coming out with, ...or implying such a prerequisite to granting you both a divorce!!!!
Hahaha!!! i tried my best to get my two kids to become solicitors. Been telling them for years, if you want to get on in life, you need to be in a parasitic profession, and always quoted solicitors (lawyers) as a good example of such a profession. eg, ...They make a bloody good living, out of others misfortunes.... Most are more crooked than the people they represent, especially in the criminal courts....lol!!!
Let's face it, ....the Law is an Ass at the best of times...lol!!
David.....
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Willy,
Please be sure that they are of the finest quality because I want to export Chinese eggs to the US. Now the only thing we really have to agree on is the name of the store here. I do not think that "Chinese Eggs by Willy" or "Willy's Eggs in a Basket from China" are suitable store names here. Yes they do catch the eye but I think in a negative sense. I think "The China Egg Stop" has possibilities.
I think we could sell them but at the same time have a small restaurant serving eggs in many styles. I am thinking in the same manner as Bubba from the movies Forrest Gump. We could have fried eggs, poached eggs, boiled eggs, broiled eggs, barbecue eggs, deviled eggs, angled eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs benedict, eggs florentine, eggs gumbo, eggs....
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Shane,
Guarantee's to make you ''Egg Bound'' ...lol!!!
David....
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My question is .... why do you need to employ an overpriced leech (lawyer) if you have sorted everything out between you both?? To say that this judge is impartial is a joke!! Unless there's something your not telling, what possible reason could he have for coming out with, ...or implying such a prerequisite to granting you both a divorce!!!!
Hahaha!!! i tried my best to get my two kids to become solicitors. Been telling them for years, if you want to get on in life, you need to be in a parasitic profession, and always quoted solicitors (lawyers) as a good example of such a profession. eg, ...They make a bloody good living, out of other misfortunes.... Most are more crooked than the people they represent, especially in the criminal courts....lol!!!
Let's face it, ....the Law is an Ass at the best of times...lol!!
David.....
David,
I have told everything I know. We were in agreement and all of the children were 19 and older. There is something here in the south called the good ole boy network and they take care of each other. Even judges. I think he does not want to render a decision that could possibly cost him in the next election cycle. If the lawyers to not like it they can shut him out and he will have to go back to work and a civilian. Imagine the back stabbers, I mean friends he might lose.
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Shane ,
And, ...Ain't that the Truth!!!
David....
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Yup. Who is Shane? :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
Don't feel like you have to appologise to anybody here. We all know you were not trying to mislead anybody. By the way, where will you be after you guys eat all those eggs? The air may be a little "fowl" around you three and I want to be able to steer clear. Hahahaha!! :icon_cheesygrin: I just hope that there is no strong wind blowing towards Singapore! :icon_cheesygrin:
Dave C
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The egg eating contest may happen somewhere between April 6-8 in Guangzhou, I think, but watch for updates. I've not cleared any of this through Peggy and she may tell me I can find my own way there and once the smell passes to call her. :icon_cheesygrin:
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It's a Paul Newman love thing.....hey warden bet I can eat 50 eggs....lookie lookie here comes cookie....
Actually, if their not "pickled" eggs going in, they will be coming out....:icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun's return flight has been cancled as he will fly back on his own....oooohhhhh did I say that....:icon_cool:
don't forget those 1,000 year old eggs...and cabbage.......
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Yup. Who is Shane? :icon_cheesygrin:
I Dunno but seem to recall this kid Brandon De Wilde shouting 'Shane, Come back Shane"
Willy
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I hope I didn't embarrass David5o with that remark?
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Shaun, (shane) what is the record for eating eggs? I can put away a dozen, what is your limit?
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Shaun, (shane) what is the record for eating eggs? I can put away a dozen, what is your limit?
If you can get a dozen away the same way they came would that make you a redneck or give you one?:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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oh my god i think i would like to talk about the squat toilet or
anything else but these egg stories :idea:
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We will leave no yoke unturned! :angel:
Come on Ted we are just yoking!!!! :icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
i know that but its just getting old and dry
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Try this one, its so funny I had to post it twice.....sorry...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Shaun,
i know that but its just getting old and dry
Ted you must stop egging them on.
Willy
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Shaun,
i know that but its just getting old and dry
Ted you must stop egging them on.
Willy
Just thought that I would have one last photo before I get kicked off. So here's one of a naked Willy
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the thread is when you know it is right
this just isnt right hahahahahahaha
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Ted,
Think about who started this thread. What is right about me? I have both oars in the water, they just row in opposite directions... :icon_cheesygrin: sometimes. :dodgy:
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hahahah good one Shaun
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I think Willy is really getting "stewed" over this, and I'm sure the forum will give him a good "roasting", sort of "out of the frying pan
and into the fire", they may even "grill" him for hours, rumor has it that he is really "baked" about all this and could get "cut up" over this....Willy could "loose his head" in this situation....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Run Willy Run....but alise, willy was old and didn't run fast enough...and was in for a real "plucking". He was all "tied up" over this and heard the guys on the forum gave him a good "basting" as a send off. Good-By Willy the chicken, we will miss you......LOL
:s
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Next we'll be hearing Willy become a walking, talking advert for the slapchop and Vince Offer (Sorry, can't find a non-youtube version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs
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Next we'll be hearing Willy become a walking, talking advert for the slapchop and Vince Offer (Sorry, can't find a non-youtube version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs
And as the guy in the video said I think Willy could make it his slogan. At 0:55 in the video; "You're gonna' love my nuts!"
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Not to get off track but that slapchop is a rip off of another chopper they had on TV i think it was the late 70's?
P.S. That's not me in the video.... :dodgy:
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Could be.
At least the shamwow commercials are off the air now... if only we could do away with the slapchop... (I guess you can tell that I'm not a fan of his nuts)
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spanish peanuts?...haha :icon_cheesygrin:
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Get to China and see the same adverts three or four times in the same break. It really helps tp learn the language. I know the details of most of the non aging whitening creams now. And Jackie Chans hair is something to be admired on the advert he has for hair stuff. except no idea yet what it is for!!!!
Willy
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I would assume Jackie Chan's hair gel? His hair stays in place during the action? Never saw the ad just guessing?
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I thought I was finished with this thread until this morning.
Last night I was talking with Peggy. In reality I should have been in bed sleeping because I was completely exhausted. I was also lonely and longing for Peggy. She was the same way. We really miss each other.
I told her that I was willing to close my business, forget the clothing idea and come stay with her in China until she got her visa. We talked about what city to live in, how would I be able to support us, and everything we could think of related to us being together. Finally I had to go to bed because I could not stay awake.
About 1 hour later here is what she wrote. "I think your current mission is to do your business and manage your store, and take care of my life. As soon as possible the work of my visa. If your clothing business can be beneficial to our finalized. We can talk less."
Of course she is completely right but I like the way she said it. She realized that I was tired and wanted to be with her. She very gracefully reminded me of what I needed to be doing. No fuss, no condemnation, no vile words just a simple reminder and an offer to talk less if need be. THIS IS WHEN YOU KNOW IT IS JUST RIGHT.
I gotta marry this woman and soon. She is absolutely a keeper.
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but dont forget to tell her the american dream is on hold right now
need a few years to get out of the mess its in
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Yes and I am the luckiest man on the earth.
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Well several things come to mind. First Shaun I can say...I told you so...I think you would have gotten married to Peggy if
you could have while there, therefore I win the bet...haha :icon_cheesygrin:
Second, since you have a business here, can you say she works for you and get a business visa or whatever they call it, for her
to come here for "sales or business" reasons. I'm not an expert, but lots of Chinese come here on business and get the travel
visa quickly. Perhaps someone on here knows how to do it. Then you can get married while she is here. By the way from what
I have read here on this forum and other places, your supposed to get married in the US first on a 90 day visa, then go to China
and get married agian. So if she is here for "business" reasons, there is no reason you can"t get married in that time. The business
one is faster, the marrage visa is a little slower. Check it out.:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Don I am ahead of you on that one but still have little info. I am talking with a couple from China who moved here on a business visa. They are not very talkative yet. I am hoping that having been to China now they will talk a little more.
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Shaun,
from what i have read that wont work. the people i know who have gone on a
business visa have went for study or research. Peggy doesnt have a business
here in China that would be applicable to the situation. i would go the route you
spoke in China. and i was wondering did you give Terrence a call? he could also give
you some advice that would apply.
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Ted,
I am going with the same plan. NO I haven't called Terrence yet. There is a lot of catch up to do before I focus on that. Peggy will be in Guangzhou Monday. She tells me she will be looking for a company that can sew for less. She wants to see this work and sees it as her future. Gotta love it.
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Shaun and Ted, if she is an employee of Shaun's company, the work visa would/might apply.
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Don, I will look into it but I do not think it will apply because it is China. But you never know. If it is possible then when we marry she will have to go back and get either a k-1 or k-3. She would still have to wait.
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It has been a while since I updated on this thread.
Yes Peggy and I are still together. We still talk almost every day. We've had our ups and downs. But bottom line is that we love each other.
I mentioned it somewhere else but my divorce was finally final on April 22nd. The judge signed the papers on my birthday, (wow, imagine that kind of thing to celebrate on your birthday) and it was filed in the clerks office on the 22nd. Peggy was happy to hear it. I felt a huge amount of relief.
We've both discovered that we have quick tempers and that we need to be patient when the other temper flares. We have also discovered that our biggest enemy is translation software. I have tried many of them and have settled with MDBG.net. I think it was Neil that suggested it several times. It will mess up too but it gives you several options to each word you use. This has saved my back side several times.
Maxx will tell you to get out of your head when you are thinking wrong. I would like to add to that. Make sure you have a good translation. You can get some really screwy stuff from translation software. I have a feeling many relationships are ended because of bad translations.
Maxx has kicked my butt a few times and deservedly so. I will complain every time but Maxx is usually right. The bas... never mind.
I am learning when you think an issue is over, it is not. Often it lies in wait for another day. Many of you remember the junk I went through about the engagement money. I gave her mother 1000RMB and Peggy was very upset. I think we were the closest to ending the relationship that night in Shaoguan than at any other time. Well, it is back. The family has left the issue thinking it is done but Peggy has not. I think it is settled now but not without much arguing. This is where Peggy's sister has been the most help. She has told me everything I needed to know to understand the issues at hand. I will not share them but suffice it to say I decided that it was important to me that Peggy have face and feel her worth.
Guys, their worth as a woman can sometimes be wrapped up in the engagement money. This is the case with Peggy. So do I let her feel worthless or do I step up like a man and help her to feel valuable. I chose the latter. What value is the love of a wonderful woman if she thinks you find no value in her. It is a small price to pay to have her feel valuable to you. I think it is bad thinking but we can deal with that in the years to come. In the meantime she will think I place a high value on her and she can hold her head up with her friends and family. She will have face. She does not know it but I will do my best to stretch beyond the agreed amount just to see her smile even that much more. Donations can be sent to.....
There isn't a day that goes by that I do not tell her that I miss her and she tells me the same and that she needs me with her. If that doesn't make a man feel good then I do not know what does.
Bottom line is that I am more in love with her than I was on April 1st when I saw her for the first time face to face,and I was head over heals with her on April 1st.
Gentlemen This is when you know it is just right.
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Thanks Mike,
Eventually you do come to the point that you have to find your own way with the woman you are in love with.
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Shaun great read, and good insight thank you for that...When Maxx kicked my butt, I too thought he was a Bas.........never mind hahaha ;D
The web cam and talks do bring you closer...I know this (not giving anything away YET guys :D :D)
We also tell each othe how much we love and miss each other (even though not met face to face yet). Mike is right it builds up the relationship stronger, and both of us ARE more confidant and comfortable now too.
Glad things are going good for you both...
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Shaun and Rob it's nice to hear that I'm so highly thought of.Don't worry your not alone.Martin, Chong, Scott,Arnold,Irishman, and a few others I'm sure feel the same way about me.If Given half a chance.I think Arnold would probably have Qing run me over with a car :) With Martin and Irishman cheering her on.It's alright It doesn't bother me.As long as I can help you guys get to be where you need to be.With your ladies.
I remember when I started this little journey back in March of 2006.I didn't know nothing about China.Or Chinese girls.I arrived in Zhuhai China in May of 2006.I knew one word of Chinese.And had my phrase book in my back pocket.My wife and her mother still laugh.At the Phrase book.So this little journey was a real crash course.For me.And I tripped and stumbled and fumbled my way threw this.All on my own..Yes Chnlove did have it's forum.But it was pretty useless back then.Everybody who was posting at the time was just guessing.Or they were posting lies.
If it hadn't ben for my wife and her infinite patience with me.I would of crashed and burned.This relationship.About 2 days after I had got off the plane in China.For some reason my whit and Charm had little or no effect on my wife.So after a couple of years of me and my wife being together.I tried to fix some of the wrongs on Chnlove forum.Then Martin came along and said hey lets start are own little group..And here we are.
When you guys write your stories.I can see you guys making the same mistakes I did.So I try to jump in and help.I would hate to see anybody do this the hard way like I did.Your ladies mite not be as forgiving as my wife is.When you stick your foot in your mouth one to many times.Or you trample all over her customs and culture
good luck to all
Maxx
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Shaun,
As i understood it, when you first enquired about the envelope money, ...It was for the ''First Meeting'' present... I don't think you mentioned anything about Engagement at that time.
I personally still don't agree with these red envelope scenario's, especially when the lady you are intending to marry has been previously married and almost certainly has child(ren) I'm all for giving some form of present(s) and would normally be giving those each time i/we visit them anyway. But i do however bow to whatever you have decided to do in this circumstance, ....Everybody has to deal with all these situations according to there own thoughts and circumstances....
Anyway, glad to hear everything is still going ''tickety boo'' for you!! ....haha!!
David....
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Maxx,
Only kidding about, "The bas...?" Your value here is huge. You know me, I can't resist poking a little fun with anyone. As Peggy would say, "You always joking on me." Well I think I have managed to get her to say with me rather than on me now.
I may moan and groan but your comments and advice are always welcome here.
Rob,
Thanks.
David,
I went back and re-read all I could find about giving money to Peggy's mother. I didn't find the actual thread I was looking for but all of the posts I did find said engagement money.
I do agree with your comments however I learned several things in the process of getting to know the family that led me to change my mind. We all know that many of the women in China have been horribly abused by their husbands and their families. Such is the case here and I am not at all surprised. For me it all came to a point of needing to show her how valuable she is to me.
There is an old story about a young man who was looking for a wife. He and his best friend went to a village to find her. The groom found a woman who suited his fancy and talked with her family. The best friend was there to help barter the trade for the grooms new wife. The friend told the groom that she was only a two cow wife and the deal was struck for two cows.
The groom and his best friend moved to different parts of the country and didn't see each other for more than 30 years. They met in their hometown to visit and catch each other up on their lives. Both were there with their wives. At one point the best friend ask the groom how much he paid for this new wife and the groom replied with 10 cows. The best man said that he could see that the groom had become excellent at bartering because this woman was worth more than 10 cows. Later the best man asked what happen to the ugly old 2 cow wife he married 30 years earlier to which the groom replied she is the same woman.
If a woman feels and finds her value from her husband is it not better to stretch out and treat her better than she thinks she is worth. A woman who thinks this way will only grow to the highest level you set for her. Why not set that value as high as you possibly can. If you want a 10 cow wife you must be willing to pay 10 cows for her.
Now I am suggesting that every man on this site should have or should do this. Each woman has different needs. I am saying that now that I know Peggy and her family a little more that this is the right thing to do. I now understand why she was so offended by my 1000RMB offer on April 5th.
Shaun
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Shaun , so when do the 10 cows arrive and I hope you added a bull , regards Robert . ::)
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I think Arnold would probably have Qing run me over with a car :) With Martin and Irishman cheering her on.
What do you mean " CAR " .. I would have her using a " TRUCK "
Shaun , even though I never had to deal with this Envelope situation myself .. know very well how you felt and you handled it great .
After Maxx's ( who ? ) 24 Hour Rule , the next important Rule is to have Patience and that MUST go both way's . Thinking back to my first Face to Face ( Trip ) Qing was 20 minutes late . If it wasn't for the Patience we learned from the six month's of writing and waiting , I think .. I would have thought ... Oh oh ! Can this be ? I've been had !! Now .. if it was going to be a couple Hours ? Who knows ??
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Shaun,
Yes your right, My mistake. There was only one post where ''first meeting gift'' was mentioned, and that's the one i seemed to have remembered ...Typical!!!! ...haha!!!!!
But boy was it hard to find with all those posts about bloody eggs, ...They seemed to go on forever...Hahaha!!!
David....