China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Buzz on December 14, 2009, 09:57:53 pm
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Trip summary of my time in China.
Was going to a day by day posting while in China, but quickly ran out of interest in the internet and was spending quality time with my lady and her family. Since I am not the entertaining writer as Rhonald, did not have the drama of a step-daughter like Jim, I do not recall meeting or talking with any Lings (Ronan are you sure that there are Lings in China), not the drama of agency and country issues that helped Mike keep us entertained, did not have the dumpling stories as Arnold, and well I was up North so no Willy stories. So will just give an overview of my trip and maybe help someone who is going to China one day. Had the laundry in the bathroom in the five star hotels, more and different kinds of food than I can even begin to describe, the air in Beijing was so thick that you could not breath but had to take bites and chew the air before consumption, taxi rides were interesting (not even as scary as Lima Peru), bus, train and subway were all packed but a fun way of travel. All in all if you have read the other stories, mine is very much the same except that it is a love story of XiuRu and myself. Except for my one claim to fame in this post. In all my reading I think that I am the first to receive a pair of custom-made wool long-handle underwear from a Buddhist nun.
We were in the northern city of ShenYang and out shopping for tea sets for my daughters. During our shopping, we stopped by this out of the way teashop and during the course of our stay, we were invited to have tea. I had never seen the way that they make the tea and was watching them trying to learn. A few minutes later the lady said that her friend spoke very good English and wanted to see us if we could wait a few minutes. I was having a very good time and not rushed for time, so we stayed. A few minutes later we met the ‘high teacher’ of a local school and she was also the English teacher as well. We spoke for a few minutes and then she took my lady and I out to the shops to see what we were looking at. I was deposited back in the teashop and the owner and the two ladies went out shopping and got the owners discount on all products. While we were leaving Gao asked if we wanted to meet her sister before lunch. So we all got a cab and got out at a local Buddhist temple. It was very cold and windy but my lady picked out some incense to bless our happy union. While waiting a nun came up and asked me which was my belief, Christian or Buddhism? In all my preparation, I had not considered this question. My answer was that I was most familiar with Christian as my father was a minister. I then went on to say if you are asking my belief then I truly believe that if one is a true Christian, is a devote follower of Buddha, and is pure in spirit like the native American, then their reward will be equal in the next life. Her response was that it was her belief as well and we were invited to enter the temple. After we sat thru a ceremony that was given for a family who lost their son/husband/father, we then went out to eat. After a very good meal, we then went back to the temple and had tea with the “master” (mother superior) nun. During this time I crossed my legs. From the sounds the ladies made, I thought that I had committed an unforgivable error. My next thought was that they were just surprised to see hairy legs as they were pulling up my pant leg and pulling down my socks. Then it became apparent that the problem was that I was not wearing long underwear. The fact that I have never worn long underwear did not concern them, it was decided that I was in grave danger of great illness unless I had this problem solved very soon. So then the three ladies got out a tape measure and there the nun, high teacher, and my lady in the back room of a Buddhist temple were measuring me. Never saw this in any tourist brochure. After several minutes on the phone, it was decided that I would have the new clothes delivered the next day. Well the next day was XiuRu’s birthday. We met her younger brother and his wife as well as other friends and our new best friends, the nun and teacher. We had a very good meal and after we got done, there was a knock on the door and the nun got a package. It seems the underwear had arrived. Custom made overnight. I thanked them and was going to put them in my luggage, as we were getting ready to leave town for my lady’s hometown of Anshan. The thought crossed my mind that they just might feel the need for me to put them on and no sooner had my mind had that thought, well they all left the room and told me to put on the wool underwear. So I put on the underwear, got dressed and opened the door. Since I had the only camera, there are no pictures of what happened next, (and never will be) it seems that the ladies had to make sure the underwear fit. So surrounded by my lady, my new soon to be sister-in-law, the nun, the teacher, the young servers packing leftovers, my trousers were at my ankles and they were admiring my new gray long underwear. I thought that this would be the end of the story, but oh no. When we got to her Aunt’s home a couple of days later, it was decided that I need some elastic bands in the upper portion of the long underwear. It seems that the tailor who made them did not have the proper elastic when she made them. So in comes my lady, my soon to be sister-in-laws (2 new ones), the maid that cooks for the family, and my ladies best friend. Pants around the feet, loud discussion about which elastic band to use, and laugher about the amount of elastic band needed was and is the final chapter to this unbelievable gift.
I met with an immigration lawyer today to get started on the K-1 finance visa. I will return in May for another visit and then later in the year when we get a time for the interview. When I set my expectations for my trip to China they were very simple. I wanted to see certain points of interest, eat peiking duck, and see if XiuRu and I were possibly more than friends. In my wildest dreams I never expected to be blown away by such a lovely lady. I realize that for the first part of the trip I was being interviewed by family and friends to see if I was worthy of XiuRu. After the third day, word went out that I was OK OK. From there on the trip was more relaxed and we had time to get to know and understand one another better. When we got to her hometown of Anshan, we met her most trusted and closest friends. During a lunch that lasted 3 hours it became apparent to me that this couple had veto power over our relationship. After two hours the husband came over to me, gave me the thumbs up and we toasted our friendship and XiuRu’s future with me as her husband. Had this not happened, I am sure that I would have come in second in a two horse race and would have left China very sad and disappointed. The next night we met the friends again for a final night in China. About 30 minutes into the meal the friend’s wife looked at me and asked “what was the relationship with you e-wife, why are you divorced, what are your children’s thoughts about you being in China”. The room got very quiet and for the next 15 minutes I spoke directly with the lady and explained that I had always been attracted to Asian Ladies, had planned on marrying a Japanese lady when I was in Japan, but that my parents and grand-parents forbid me to marry outside of America. So due to family pressure I married whom my parents had decided, but we did not love one another. Since my father died in 2000 and my mother died in February of 2009, I then asked my children for their blessing of following my desire and finding an Asian lady to marry. I then went on to say that I did not understand how I was able to meet XiuRu, but that I had found a very special lady and was not about to let her out of my life. She then got up and toasted XiuRu and myself and gave her blessing. That was the final piece that gave my lady piece in her heart.
I guess the thing that I learned the most was just be yourself. Her family and friends all have an idea of who I am but they will always be watching. Never once did I feel out of place or in danger. Respect the people, respect the culture, and never ask your lady to do something you are not willing to do yourself. My lady needs to know that we will spend some time in China every year. I am like Jim in this respect, I cannot move to China and spend the rest of my days there. I also understand that XiuRu cannot move to America and visit China very infrequently. My new sister in law and I came across an idea to import items into china that we think will provide an income. There are many possibilities out there; it is just necessary to keep your mind open, your eyes open, and your mouth shut more. I cannot wait to get back to XiuRu. Will keep busy with Visa paperwork, learning Chinese, and teaching her English. Time-Warner has an international calling program for $20 you can talk 3000 minutes each month to China. Lessons start Wednesday.
Pictures are: drawing given by 93 year old uncle (retired general), Friends with veto power in Anshan, new family in Anshan, new Brother and his wife in ShenYang, XiuRu's birthday lunch, Betty the translator agency 204, Agency 204 with Scott's friend on right, some where near Beijing, on the wall, my first and favorite photo of my lady, the grey long underwear, and the nun, teacher, XiuRu and new sister in law.
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I think your long underwear as like your story was weaved with a Lovely Yarn. Thanks for sharring your pictures and journey with us. Both will keep the heart warm :icon_biggrin: especially here were we are having -24C weather.
And congrats on a successful adventure.
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Buzz
That's a wonderful story. It's a real pleasure to share it with you.
There is nothing like wearing something that someone who cares about you has gone to the trouble of knitting.
It was great to have a look at the pictures. There is nothing like having a story illustrated with the actual places and people it talk place in.
I am in Wuhan at the moment and I am wearing woolen socks and pants and jumper that my dear woman's mother has knitted for me.
Good luck on the visa hurdle.
I think you've done the right thing engaging an immigration lawyer. It's too important a thing I think to try to work out as you go along.
Danny
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Priceless Buzz...what a warm and wonderful story.
(even warmer with "long-johns" :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:)
It is easy to see that you dont need luck any more, so may I wish you every happiness that you could ever wish for
More please !!!
David
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Priceless Buzz...what a warm and wonderful story.
(even warmer with "long-johns" :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:)
It is easy to see that you dont need luck any more, so may I wish you every happiness that you could ever wish for
More please !!!
David
David, waiting for your happy story. buzz
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what a wonderful story with a great ending
best wishes to the both of you.
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Great story Buzz. Sorry Gina could not meet you for dinner. Thanks for asking her. As you know she is a charge nurse and must work when no one else can cover. Glad you had a successful trip. At some point hope we can meet up.
Jim
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Great story Buzz and well written too, a good read. Best of luck to you and your lovely XiuRu.
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What a lovely Story Buzz .
I hope you pulled up your Pant's before going to Board the Plane back Home . haha
I was smart enough to bring my own long underwear for Beijing in Feb . this year , after reading your incounter with the TAILER"S .
Also lot's of thanks for the Photo's you shared with us .
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Great story Buzz. I can tell you are a very happy man. Good luck in the future.
Shaun
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Nice typing Buzz , the plusses are certainly growing at an amazing rate , so all the best to the 2 of you , regards Ying and Robert .
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I think as all the others : Great story Buzz...
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An un-expected update. I contracted with Time-Warner Cable for their international phone service, 1000 minutes for 19.95 per month. Got the phone all hooked up and was making my first phone call this morning and had a very nice surprise. The “high teacher” from Shenyang (70 K away), had made the trip to help with the phone call. During the course of the visit, I found out that my lady is going to move to ShenYang and take English classes from this friend. Her sister is the Buddha Nun that gave me the nice wool long underwear. When XiuRu and I made the connection, we expected that there would be my family and her family, my friends and her friends. It is nice to see that we have made our first friends as a couple. I can not even imagine such a thing happening in the good ole USA. So in exchange for some free medical advice to the Temple Nuns, my lady is getting a crash course in English. The phone connection was very good and it was such a “high” to hear her laugh and get excited about the future. It just keeps getting better.
Buzz
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Nice to hear your news Buzz. Its great to see that we are on a very good roll at the moment. May it keep going so that more of you will have many Happy Chistmas's in the future years.
Willy
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For those who have wives, fiancés, and girl friends in China and are back home waiting for the time when we can be together; talking by phone, web cam, QQ, e-mail or any of the other ways we try and keep in touch, know just how lonely it is without your lady by your side. I am not different. I spoke with XiuRu this morning and was really depressed about the time between our next visit, and the long wait before the Visa. I will share her response:
“Love is eternal, our appearance might change, but love lasts forever. Love is not counting the days past; Love is what makes each day more meaningful. In this world, ‘A man’s most precious possession is a woman’s heart, and to make the distance between the two hearts closer.’ In a happy marriage, the wife is always to create a good climate and to provide a good environment for her husband. I love you and know you love me.”
A very simple love story continues. I can continue on knowing that this wonderful lady is waiting for nothing more than my love, and will accept nothing less than my full commitment to her and our marriage.
Buzz
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Thanks Buzz
Those words completely summarise why we go through all sorts of Hell to find our beloved from China...................that attitude and point of view is worth gold, and so in tune with what a relationship should be.
All the best
David
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I must be mushy because I just broke up, but XiuRu's response prompted a tear in me, really beautiful.
Congratulations to both of you for finding each other, and thanks for the reading, the story about your long underwear is wonderful, it seems like you've found a lovely family together with your love.
Frank
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Wonderful word's Buzz from your XiuRu . Now this got to inspire you to write her a Poem . Get that Pencil moving . haha
Thanks for sharing , I alway's appreciate romatic ... whatever/however and no matter from whom .
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Her response that was underlined gave me a revelation so to speak. I always thought my children were my most precious possession, but I don't think that is the case after reading that. I never realized it, but I think it is true.
DavidE's right about what we go through of our search in China.
Buzz also a great read of your story. Really happy for the both of you.
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Not the time for me to say anything on this thread other than you have one hell of a lady waiting for you Buzz.
Willy
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i do believe it is said: the greatest gift a man can get is the love from a womans heart
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Ok, next chapter in the simple love story.
I just got off the phone with my lawyer. The I-129F visa application has been approved. I sent the application on February 1, and it was approved on April 30 of this year. It will now be sent to NYC for processing in preparation to send to the Embassy in China. It cannot stay in NYC any longer than 4 weeks. From there we will wait on the Embassy to give XiuRu and I a time for the interview. My lawyer also said that some additional papers and information are needed for the next step. I have a meeting with him before I go to China at the end of May. I will have XiuRu sign the paper work and will bring back what information is needed for the next step. This I know will save at least a month waiting on information to and from China. I will post what additional paperwork is needed when I know. I am so happy that we decided to do the Finance Visa, as it seems to be working well for XiuRu and myself. We have talked in the past about the cost of a lawyer vs. the cost savings by doing the process yourself. For me, having the lawyer seems to have cut at least one trip to china; that cost alone is well worth the price he charges. I also know that my wife will be here much quicker with his help and expertise. So with this great news coming on Friday, there is nothing left to do but enjoy the truly wonderful weekend. Will have a video call with XiuRu in about 6 hours, cannot wait to see the look on her face. I wish all who are in the waiting process; good news soon. Buzz
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Good to hear the news Buzz. Yes the visa proccess can be emotionaly draining. I wish the two of you continued success.:sleepy:
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great news Buzz getting steps closer to getting her there
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Really happy to hear that Buzz... keep us up to date!
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Congrats Buzz...Great news..:icon_cheesygrin:
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so what was her reaction??? im sure it was good and she is excited
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A simple update:
Our first EMF was June 13, 2009. We met for the first time November 20, 2009. I filed the forms for the K-1 visa on February 1 of 2010. My second trip was in May of 2010. The interview was August 19, 2010. We will have the visa in 4 working days from today. So in 14 months we went from our first EMF to getting the K-1 visa.
The person doing my wife's interview was a lady. Her first question was, how did we meet? The lady was looking at the Affidavit that I had given to them about how we met and our time together. The second question was how do we communicate? The next question was if I spoke Chinese. Then my wife, said she told the lady that she was fond of children, and named off the names of her four grandsons and the new granddaughter. She said the lady smiled, said thank you, and the visa will be ready in 4 business days. Xiuru said the visa process was very simple, just like chatting with an old friend.
I know many people do the process by themselves. After having done this, I am sure that I could have done the job, but I know that it would not have gone as smooth. I know that this interview went well because all the work the lawyer did prior to the 15 minutes Xiuru was with the embassy staff. The lady had the complete file. From the paper work to the Department of Homeland security, the DS 230 and DS 230-1, to the papers i sent with pictures of our two visits.
Xiuru will be coming to the States in January. She is a retired physician. As such she has a health clinic in Anshan. She is now going to try and sell the clinic and if that is not successful, then she will close the place at the end of the year and put 20 people out of work. We both felt that we need to give the people time to find other work rather than just close the doors. Also we did not think that we would be this far along with the visa this soon. The only thing my lawyer told me that was not correct, he said it would take 18 months to get the visa thru the system. Only 6 and a half months.
So now we plan the wedding, children in San Diego, and Colorado. The kids have voted las vegas. we will wait and see how it all plays out. like i said, just a simple love story between two very happy people.
buzz
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Congratulations to both of you. I hope the time passes quickly until you can be together. I love happy stories ;D
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I am real happy for the both of you. 6-1/2 months is encouraging.
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That is great news for you both , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Buzz,
after talking thru emf's here to you and also speaking on the phone to you and your lady you do know
my heartfelt congratulations go out to the two of you. many many many happy years ahead
once again CONGRATULATIONS MY FREIND
Sincerely
Ted
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Congratulations to you both and many happy years together.
Seems like allot of sucess story's latley, we must be living right.
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And who says a love story can not be simple? Sigh.........man that was fast. But I guess when cupid finds his mark, man the rest is his story told from the heart. Best wishes on your heart felt journey.
:o<-----=
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congradulations.Best wishes to you and your lovely lady.
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Now ..now Buzz .. don't make it out to be THAT simple . But I'm happy you feel that way . Sometimes it's all downhill and your Lady is waiting at the bottom of the Street with open arms . Congrat's from both Qing and myself . Remember , any hill will sooner or later become straight and sometimes goes uphill again .. so take it all with patience and a smile on your face .. and you'll WIN . Even in Las Vegas .
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Buzz,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is stories like this that keep my dream alive. Congrats to you both!
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Now ..now Buzz .. don't make it out to be THAT simple . But I'm happy you feel that way . Sometimes it's all downhill and your Lady is waiting at the bottom of the Street with open arms . Congrat's from both Qing and myself . Remember , any hill will sooner or later become straight and sometimes goes uphill again .. so take it all with patience and a smile on your face .. and you'll WIN . Even in Las Vegas .
Arnold, it really is that simple. I will share a few of my thoughts with the forum.
1: There are no secrets. The government wants to know all about your past history. They ask about past tax returns, past marriage, past jobs, past places you have lived. If you are going to be successful in the visa process, you have to understand that you are going to have to provide a lot of personal information to the government and their employees.
2: All the information needs to be the same. From the first form you submit to the last forms your lady takes in with her for the interview, it all has to match.
3: Positive proper attitude: If you think or have the idea that it is "us vs them" attitude, you will have a very difficult time. I told Xiuru that the people in the Embassy were working for us. That they wanted us to be successful in our marriage. That they want her to come to America and be with her new family. Xiuru went there with the attitude that it was already done, all we need was the visa. There was no fear, no resentment, just the belief that the person doing the interview was there to help her and I get married.
4: Get it the best you can at the very start: When I joined China Love, I was very specific on the type of lady I was seeking. Same age, similar occupation, no children, higher education, "simple elegance in appearance", beautiful smile. I found Xiuru; the only one I exchanged EMFs with. We built a relationship with our interpreter at agency 204, and Betty is still a very close friend. We exchange email to keep each other informed.
5: Go slow: Did not get married the first trip, did not talk of marriage the first trip. Started the K-1 visa in February thinking it would take 18 months to complete. I took Chinese lessons, she started English lessons. Video meetings twice a day. Second trip we talked of getting married, and started making plans.
6: Seek out support: I have a lawyer. I interviewed 9 lawyers before selecting mine. The first question I asked each was "how many visa from china have you done in the past year". My lawyer has three successful (now 4) in the pat 18 months. He is married to a lady from Korea, and does visas from Viet Nam, Korea, Thailand, and China. Trust those who have experience.
7: Focus on the relationship, let the lawyer focus on the process: When Xiuru would ask "why is this necessary". I would respond that our lawyer is very successful with this Embassy, he says we need it, so we will complete the task. This way we could work on our relationship, not get sidetracked by the process.
8: Keep in simple: Xiuru and I are not unique. Many people are going thru this process everyday. It is not rocket science, or brain surgery. Let the lawyer keep track of the details, you need to focus on the relationship. Be positive, not arrogant; there is a difference. Keep the focus on your love for each other, and the life you will share in your hometown.
9: Think ahead: Here in Greensboro, there is a Chinese Association. There are over 300 families that belong. I connected Xiuru up with a sponsor. They talk by email. Xiuru knows that there are other Chinese people here in her new hometown, and she has made some new friends. We have phone service to China, she can call daily as she desires, email, and video conference as she desires. Make sure you have a support system in place for her when she arrives.
10: Keep your promises: If you promise, you must preform.
So Arnold, it is very simple, life is full of stuff that can put a strain on any relationship. the secret is knowing the priorties you have in life, and to make sure the lady you are marrying has the same priorities. Will we have smooth even road ahead, of course not. But we will be together, and together we can accomplish anthing.
After all we managed to fall in love 8000 miles apart. Imagine what we can do when we are in the same zip code.
Very simple. buzz.
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Buzz , if you know any of my story .. you'd know that I also had it pretty easy . You , I and some other ( but not too many ) can say that . It is not that simple for most of us here or other from somewhere else . Like you have posted , it is the very way one can have success .. but there is soo much uncertaincy involved to say it works for all . It does not and never will . I don't want to discourage anybody , but is this not what I've seen throughout this Forum and the Offical and the Facebook era ? Of course I always wished and still do , that it was simple for all not just us looking for Chinese (or other nationalities ) .
One thing I'm sure .. you'll be in Heaven like I am ( well almost ) . hahaha
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sometimes it is a simple process for some and others a little difficult and drawn out
but anyway congrats
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Remember - Simple does not mean easy - just means not complicated.
As they told us in the Army - KISS - "Keep it simple stupid" and less chance of messing up.
I see that Buzz just made sure of each step in the process. Kind of like what mountain climbers are told - make sure that 3 out of 4 limbs are holding secure - just move one limb at a time to prevent falling.
So climbing a mountain or running a marathon (place one foot in front of the other) can be a simple process but the challenge is that both require a different kind of endurance. Our big challenge is patience and it looks like Buzz is a good LOVE doctor as he has his own patient :-* to prove his worth. And his reward is that KISS when he embraces her at journey's end.
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It is interesting that Arnold and I are having the discussion. I did read and follow your story. I also hope to see you when we get to California this January. After some thought and reading the notes by our northern story teller (Mr Ronald), I will try and explain myself just a bit more.
There are just two things we have control over in this process. It is not the time, the required forms, the distance, the language, the different culture, the endless cost. The only thing we can control is our attitude and our choice to be proactive or reactive.
Arnold, i have read your poems to your wife. You can not accomplish these expressions of love if you do not have the time to experience the joy, think of the words, and put forth the thoughts into words that convey feelings. I know from reading your experiences in getting the visa, that you were well prepared at every step. To me that tells me that you are proactive in your approach to life, as am I. An example: A person looks at the tires on his auto and sees that he will need to get a new set fairly soon. The proactive person, has set aside the money, makes the appointment, gets the best price possible, and gets the tires changed very soon. The reactive person will complain about the high cost of the tires, will not have the money, and will have a flat tire on the freeway during rush hour.
A lot of what I have read here tells me that there are many people who react to life, rather than live life. So when I said it was simple, that does not mean that I or you got any breaks or had shortcuts to the visa process, it just means that we were proactive in the approach to the challenges that faced us.
The second item that is most important is the proper attitude. I hear about the government requirements, the people doing the interview are out to trap and fail the ladies, and many other items. The negative attitude. Going back to your poems, i do not see the negative attitude in any of the lines. You, I and others have chosen to live life with the glass half full rather that all the other options.
I appreciated you comments, and as i said early on, I hope to see you this next January when we get to California. Patience is very difficult, but thanks to our video conference and with the planning of our wedding celebration in China, the trip to America, seeing the children, meeting the grandchildren, and the drive across from California to North Carolina, we have much to discuss and plan.
Postive attitude, with proactive action, very simple, not always easy, but almost always rewarding.
buzz
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Buzz , i would love to meet up with you and your lovely Lady next year . It would be a pleasure to meet a person that thinks as
close as I do on this whole experience of seaching and finding and getting it done with nothing BUT a positive attitude all the way .
Let me know when you get near the date your in LA and I will make plans to see you via E-mail .
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An update:
Visa package was done on August 12, 2010. Because we did not expect the process to be so quick, we had made arrangements to move at the end of the year. Xiuru had a medical clinic that had several employees. We wanted to give them until the end of the year to find new jobs, and to try and sell the business. So we made plans for me to go to Shenyang/Anshan for the spring festival and then to bring Xiuru back with me before the deadline of 2-12-11.
All went as planned. The spring festival was quite an experience. I have never heard or seen so many firecrackers go off and at all hours. We met with the family and friends and we had several wedding celebrations, but the wedding was here in the states.
It was amazing that all she had was put into 4 large suitcases and three carry on bags. But we made it to Los Angles and all the paperwork was in order and we made it thru immigration and customs with no problems. We then went on to San Diego and got to the hotel at midnight. Next morning we went for the marriage license. Again, all went well as we had all the necessary paperwork and made the appointments prior to leaving the states. We wanted to take the kids and grandkids out to traditional Chinese food so we then went to a couple of places and finally decided on a rather small place, but the atmosphere was good and Xiuru was pleased.
The wedding was on Saturday the 12th. I hired a translator for the wedding. We have a video of the wedding and will be sending a copy of it back to the family in china. This along with the Chinese costumes we had brought for the men and grandsons, made the event quite nice. My wife’s brother in law made the banners behind in a couple of the pictures, and we were able to hang them for the wedding ceremony.
After the wedding we then drove back across the states and made stops in several cities and saw family and friends. Had my 4 brothers and their wives meet with us in St. Joseph Missouri and had a great time. Then on to Greensboro; been here for almost a week. Return to work on Saturday, but my wife is settled in. We have met with the Chinese association and have people who are helping with my wife’s questions and adjustments. We have the green card paperwork in the morning, and then more unpacking and rearranging the home for the second or maybe the third time.
This has been a long trip. And for Xiuru and I it went very quickly. I know that there are many others who were on this path long before I started and are still waiting for their wife to arrive to their home. For me I am very very happy. My wife is a treasure, and when she met my youngest brother, she told him it was time for him to get married. She has a friend in Guangzhou and well, from here on it is my brother’s story.
As for the ring, she wore it the day of the wedding, and it has been in the box since.
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Fantastic pictures and a great story,may you have many years of wedded bliss to come! :)
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Congratulations, great pictures looks like a happy family. I wish you all the best.
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Great pictures and story , congratulations to you both , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Great Pictures ! May Happiness and a long Life together , be part of your Marriage . Congrat's to both of you .. from Up-Town Neighbors Qing & Arnold .
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Just getting everything in order for a return trip to Anshan and Shenyang. ( If there are any member going to be in the area between 9-20-12 and 10-12-12, let me know).
Was a bit upset that the new Visa requirements require that you have not only a round trip ticket, but also have a hotel for every night of stay. This all started the first of August.
It has been a very good and most enjoyable time since Xiuru and I got married (Feb of 2011). Getting close to the time we apply for the 10 year green card.
I will say that I am not looking forward to this trip. We have two nephews getting married during our stay and my wife (very generous with my money) promissed each $500 American. Not to mention all the other gifts for family members. With the cost of air fare, this trip is pushing the $5000 dollar range. I made sure my wife understands that this is my last trip to china. While I will be more that happy to send her on a yearly basis, I no longer need to make the long trip.
My wife has almost given up on the idea of returning to china when I retire. She had made many new friends here at the Greensboro Chinese Christian Church, like the clean air, drinkable water, and the quiet nights.
Would not trade my wife or my decision to marry a Chinese woman for any thing or any amount. But that said, I would not EVER do this again. It is not the cost, in my case, my wife is the same age as myself. (61). Never drove, not good with computers, and still speaks very little English. Many times this past year it was like I got a wife and became a baby sitter all in the same day.
It would have been much easier for me to move to china, but then I could not live with the pollution and did not want to be away from the grandchildren.
buzz
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Would not trade my wife or my decision to marry a Chinese woman for any thing or any amount. But that said, I would not EVER do this again. It is not the cost, in my case, my wife is the same age as myself. (61). Never drove, not good with computers, and still speaks very little English. Many times this past year it was like I got a wife and became a baby sitter all in the same day.
buzz
You echo my thoughts as well Buzz. Glad to hear from you and I hope the trip goes well and eventhough your topic uses the word simple the love is not that simple as I too feel at times a babysitter. At least she is potty trained ::)
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They want you to have a hotel reservation for every day? I'm sure that can't be right, or there must be some way around it. I mean, I stay with my wife, in her parent's home.
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WOW! Married for three years next month. 10 year green card in the mail today. My how time gets away from us all. It has been an interesting three years here in Greensboro. We have made several China/American couple friends as well as chinese familes that we consider close friends. I have to say that it was not a flat clean dry interstate highway kind of a trip. While I would not ever even consider doing this again, I am also not sorry or regretful for the journy this past 5 years have taken us. My biggest surprise is just how much time these wives require. Almost all of the ladies that come here are very successful in China, but then here they are dependent on family, friends, and others to adjust. As I said earlier, it is almost a 24/7 babysitting job for the first few months. This places a strain on both parties and there are times when you just have to get away and find some alone time. I have seen more than a few husbands that have died and the stress and strain put on the widows. We have a close friend that shortly after his marriage developed a mental illness and has been unable to work. I have seen some chinese ladies leave for Vegas or New York after getting their 10 year cards. Bottom line, you do your best, put forth your best, trust in each other and enjoy time with family and friends.
Back when I first started this journey, we had a group of men who shared their journy with us and I think of them often. When holidays are over, will look at the postings and see if I can catch up with their success and triumphs.
buzz
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Buzz, nice to hear from you again! :o what.. you wouldn't do it again? I certainly would, but then.. Qing and I did ride on a "Smooth" Freeway from the start and still are on it after 6+ yrs. 8)
Anyway, we did mention... us guys do need lot's and lot's of Patience to even attempt such Journey.
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Patience, yes I would say so. Just tonight we were watching the Packers and Linda asked something I dont even remember what now, but I answered her and she said what I dont understand. I said it again, and then again Ziwei was in the room and said "my god mom how many times does he need to tell you".
We laughed and that was it.
A little alone time with a beer or two does help but like Arnold I think I would do it again as well.
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Well THAT was a good read.
A bit sad that she doesn't wear the ring, but I hear from my Ivy that many don't.
Now that you are three years on and starting to see some downsides, let me remind you of how you felt when it was the waiting time, 8,000 miles apart. ;)
I'm in that stage now. We've been together for a year and a half now. I will go to China in a coupla weeks, then she will come back and we will marry in a few more months. Lots of waiting. It is depressing, as we celebrate our birthdays and holidays apart.
A little babysitting is better, right?
As for speaking hardly any English, that is a shame too. It seems she has found enough Chinese friends to enable her NOT to speak English. I think you should gently nudge her to continue English classes.
'Glad she's comfortable though!