China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Philip on March 31, 2009, 03:42:48 pm
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Hello,
to my knowledge, I have not been the subject of a woman's dreams, certainly not an x-rated dream - well, not until now.
I am going to Changsha in May with eyes open, with no map, no compass, no reference points.
45, never married, skeptic and dreamer in equal measure wltm 23 year old Chinese lady after correspondence for a mere month in which it seems we are both in love with each other and we can be quite matter-of-fact about how many children we will have and where we will live.
Hmmmmm :D
Alex
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Alex best of luck mate i have to say i hade a girlfend she was 23 ill neaver do it agen but peeps are defrent so best of luck.
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You may have to run to keep up with her, Alex. :D Best wishes!
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Alex , I don't want to rain on your Parade , but ... 45 and 23 and on top of that , only one month of writing and getting to know each other ??? I can't get past , how a couple can talk about having kid's in such a short time . One of you or both of you are rushing into something , that did not have enough time to develope , into that kind of relationship . Please , stop and think that over one more time for not only your good ,but your Lady's as well .
This advice is not mend to tell you how to live your Life , just to think it over again . If it work's for you this way , I'm all behind you . Good Luck .
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Hey Alex buddy,
Congrats on the excitement, and keep it all in perspective. I am going to agree with Arnold on this one... Best to proceed cautiously. You can be cautiously optimistic, but between the brevity of time and the rather significant difference in age, there are two things to combat.
So do your homework...keep up the positive thoughts, and take a big deep breath. All the best.
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Not my business, however I also agree with Arnold, slow down. You are setting yourself up for a fall, a very big fall. The age difference is way off :shock: , ya sure, the sex will be great (be honest) but chances are it won't last, you can't possibly think the same way on matters, you both come from a different generation,culture, and so on. I just would not like to see a fellow member fall on his face. Just my 2 cents, take it or leave it. :?
Personally I would never date/marry a women that is more then 5 years younger then I, actually my wife is 2.5 years older then me, ha ha :lol:
Like Arnold has mentioned, we are not here to tell you how to run your life, we are just trying to talk sense into you like any good friend would do.
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Hi,
thanks everyone for your posts and words of wisdom. I know a month isn't a long time and I acknowledge my tendency to get carried away. I am going to spend the next two months before I meet her finding out more about the things we have in common. I have taken lots of people's advice about asking direct questions. That's where the children thing came. I felt I needed to know as I am serious about wanting a family. Perhaps three months will still be too short a time, but my next holiday comes up then.
I have just been on a work trip to Bangladesh for a week and there was no opportunity for me to use the internet. Don't know if that was a good thing, but perhaps has given us the chance to slow down. I don't know. We do talk about many different things, values, aspirations, work, family, interests and as much as you can tell in an email, it seems we have a remarkable amount in common. Yes the age times cultural differences would seem to compound the potential barriers to any relationship, and it requires a leap of faith on both our parts, but I am serious about making it work.
I am as sure as one can be that I am writing to her and not her translator, and it would upset me if I found out it wasn't her. I know there are many things I won't know until I meet her and even after that, but it seems to be really happening for us.
I do read and absorb all the forums (fora?) and some of them pour cold water over my ideas and others reinforce them. As I said I am going in with my eyes open.
best wishes
Alex
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Welcome to Changsha Alex.. I just left this great city and my lady and are planning to go back in July or August to get married.. Both Martin and I love the city and the food so I can almost promise you that you wouldn't get disappointed. If there is some tips you would like to have I am more than willing to share my experience.
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Hi Peter,
have you had any dealings with the Changsha Love Bridge agency? Do you know whether they're a generally good agency or not? Also, what are the sights not to miss? I am going for a week at the end of May. Thanks. Alex
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Hello Alex , you do not note where you are from , but I think that Changsha will blow you away , great food , great people and lots of sightseeing that you can do .
I was there in September for a couple of weeks and could have stayed longer , both p216 and p218 are pretty good agencies , just dot your i's and cross your t's and make sure you have a good translating machine Besta or similar , with a writing stylus , as apart from airport pickup with my lady we did not use the agency translator at all so money saved paid for the machine .
A few times the agency just rang to make sure all was okay but apart from that we were on our own , like with Peter any queries just yell .
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Thanks Robert,
I am from London, England. It is good to know about Changsha. My lady was born there and she has some ideas about things to do, but she says she would love to do anything I wanted. I have heard about the Yuelu mountain and park, but can you give me a few other sightseeing musts around the city?
I am using an agency translator for the first 4 days AND I have the latest Besta translator, so I should be fine.
Thanks for info about agencies - I have heard 1 bad story about my agency, so was a little concerned.
Hope you have found someone
Alex
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Hi Peter,
have you had any dealings with the Changsha Love Bridge agency? Do you know whether they're a generally good agency or not? Also, what are the sights not to miss? I am going for a week at the end of May. Thanks. Alex
Sorry I have no idea about that agency.. I know that someone had a bad experience with one of the 3 agency's and it wasn't the one I have: ChangSha MeiYin International Marriage Introduction Company. I have meet the owner of this one and also our translator and they seems to be o.k.
There is a lot to see in Changsha. The walking streets in the center and a block nearer the river is great for shopping. Enjoy the food even if it´s filled with Chili, really good. Visit the museum and the big park near the museum, the Martyrs Park. Go for a walk by the river. Climb Mount Yuelu... I had 12 days there and I didn't have time to do everything. Try to go to a show too.. Changsha is famous for the artists and shows. Martin and I went with our ladies and even if we didn't understand the language is was a very good show. We also went to a show with Tibetan dancing and it was great. Just enjoy the city because it is great.
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Hi again Alex , Peter has covered a number of the must do's and I am sure your lady as did mine , knowing the city will be totally organized , the taxi ride from the airport will widen your eyes and from then just hang on and enjoy , you may not need the agency translator for that long , I found the Besta more than excellent for communicating after 24hours , so use it to ask your lady when to go to a two as 3 can be a crowd hehe . I stayed at the Huatian hotel in the central area and it was great , let your lady go with you to a convenience store and let her pick the correct water to drink along with any other goodies that are required , the in room fridge goodies can be expensive and never is there enough .
I am heading back in early August to ChongQing so whereas Changsha has about 6-7 mill our new city has 30 + mill a total eye opener . Any other questions just yell , regards Robert .
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So the Besta is the way to go? Do you have a model number? My lady has said recently the translator she has isn't to good. I'll suggest this one and see if she can find one there. Seems she buys her electronics second hand. So we'll see.
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Hi Vince , checkout , www. powerdictionary.com they have the Besta md8290 that I used but now there are more powerful models on market just make sure it has fixed in rechargable battery and all the connections you require , I will more than likely upgrade to a md300 Wi Fi if they are okay , they are definitely cheaper online at this site than in Changsha by about 30 percent , any queries just yell , regards , Robert .
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Thanks Peter and Robert for the advice,
My lady says:
"When you were here, I would love to take you wherever you want to go. I was born here, but I am not sure which places you would love to visit it, but I will show you around the places I like most. I want to show my life to you, I would love you to know everything about me. Do you like that? If you like, I will also show you the agency, it's our love bridge, don't you think so? When you were here with me, I know there are lots of things we can do it together, we'll picture our best memory in our life."
Hi Vince,
I have the Besta CD-869. You can write in English or Chinese using the stylus pen and get the translation and get it to speak the word or phrase back. You can practise your Chinese writing, download all kinds of suff with a USB connection, and the battery charges easily from any socket using a universal plug adaptor. It probably makes the tea too and it's small and rather cute. Got it off Ebay for about $300.
Alex
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Hey Vince, I found the Besta 627 on eBay from a seller in Shanghai who shipped it directly. She loves it and says it very helpful in learning English.
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I traveled to Changsha in 2008.
Positive experiences:
The lady looked like the photographs (I choose a lady that had a realistic photograph).
The lady and the translator met me at the airport.
The Hotel was good.
The lady helped me get back to the airport.
I went to movies, parks, rivers, and other places.
Negative experiences:
The lady did not seem sincere about a romantic relationship or marriage.
The agency asked for money for the lady?s parents.
The email address provided by the agency was not the real email address of the lady. The agency controlled the private email. The agency generated the email address for the lady.
I got the stomach flu in Changsha.
After gifts, money, and many EMF messages, the lady said that her parents will not allow her to move to the USA. The lady said that her parents will not allow her to marry a westerner because the culture is too different. I started communicating via Skype. I did 3 way calls via Skype. I had another translator on the Skype calls. The agency seemed to be interested in keeping the EMF messages going. I ignored the last EMF message from Changsha. The lady cannot move and the lady cannot marry a westerner, but her profile is still on the Chnlove internet website. The lady and the agency maybe just a scam.
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I traveled to Changsha in 2008.
Negative experiences:
The agency asked for money for the lady?s parents.
The email address provided by the agency was not the real email address of the lady. The agency controlled the private email. The agency generated the email address for the lady.
After gifts, money, and many EMF messages, the lady said that her parents will not allow her to move to the USA. The lady said that her parents will not allow her to marry a westerner because the culture is too different. I started communicating via Skype. I did 3 way calls via Skype. I had another translator on the Skype calls. The agency seemed to be interested in keeping the EMF messages going. I ignored the last EMF message from Changsha. The lady cannot move and the lady cannot marry a westerner, but her profile is still on the Chnlove internet website. The lady and the agency maybe just a scam.
Froseman... What agency was it ???
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Hi Froseman,
sorry you had such a negative experience.
I too would like to know which agency you were in contact with in Changsha. The girl does not sound like she is covered in glory either. What are your plans now?
good luck
Alex
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I did the Chnlove Rating System for Agency Services for the agency. Then I got an email from the lady. The lady said that her parents do not like my skin color. I am an African American. My skin is a little lighter than the current US President (President Obama). The lady said that her father has cancer. The lady said that the agency requested money because the lady?s father is sick. I recommend that you go shopping with your Chinese lady and buy gifts for her parents, but you should not just give a large amount of money to the parents. The lady did not ask for the money. The agency asked for the money.
The Changsha Agency is:
Changsha Love Bridge Company
Agency ID: P216
I have terminated the relationship. I am talking to another lady.
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Sorry to hear about the experience :( It's horrible that the agency and the lady had no regard for the kind of money and planning that go into traveling across the globe to meet them. Would you mind posting the lady profile in the scam section as well? I'd think it best for us all to stay clear of that one >_<
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It sounds like the agency you were dealing with is shaky.
I am African American. I went to meet my lady in April. I had the absolute time of my life. My lady met me at the airport in Beijing along with the translator. The translator is great. We are great friends to this day.
We traveled all over China went to some very fabulous places, and every where I went I was treated with respect and courtesy. In fact, my lady had to tell the women that would approach us that I was her husband!
I met my lady's mother and father, both are great. Both had some tough questions to ask me and rightfully so. They let me know that my lady was there only daughter so I must treat her with care. I assured her parents ? in fact I gave them my word I would do that.
After the first day, my lady and I decided that the services of the translator would no longer be required and we quietly moved on without our translator.
You name it, we did it from horseback riding to mountain climbing we did it. We did some fantastic personal things as well!
I use to be in the Air Force so I have traveled a lot and experienced many cultures. I have certainly fell in love with Chinese culture, and obviously I have the best looking lady on the planet ? don?t we all. But I am serious..my lady is fine?.beautiful inside and out!
Any way, if you have any problem at all, or need a hook up or two, let me know. My translator friend always ask me?is there another like me?.I tell her she must be joking ? like me no way. But I am sure someone out there is close.
So keep your head up? the China experience is for real?
The approach I took was I read everything on the boards at China love, face book and now here. I spent at least 3 to 4 months writing to my lady, sending her many emails, talking with her directly on Skype and getting original pictures of her, and I sent her many pictures as well. When I got off of the air plane, there was no question, who I was or who my lady was and exactly what I was doing there, and what she was doing there at the airport.
At the end of my visit my lady and I traveled from her home back to Beijing where she saw me off, with tears in both of our eyes, and after all the hugs and kisses that would make most of the guys here blush... I did the custom thing got on the plane...but I knew that I would be back soon and that I had really found the person I had hoped for and dreamed about.
Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. You have certainly come across the wrong agency, but there are some great ones there. I know, I have been back about three weeks, I am still smiling. I will be headed back in June with a ring!
A heart has only one color?and so does love?..
Hope this help. If you need any help in meeting someone sincere, email me.
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Vince G,
Hi....
I am from Alexandria Virginia.
No, the translator does not have a profile on Chnlove.
She is a great young lady though...her focus is on helping people meet their life partner.
Her approach alone tells me we will here a lot from her in the future.
She has a slew of really beautiful young ladies that she is trying to help.
So I am very impressed with her.
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Vince
Thanks,
I am off to a rip roaring start with my lady.
I spent a lot of time reading on the Chnlove forum, facebook, and sorted things out.
Really everything one needs to know is on the forums.
I was skeptical like most at first. Then I said the heck with it....worse things can happen is I lose a little money. Best thing that can happens is that I find - the one. Well I have found the one...
I really only put a small portion of what my lady and I did while there.
AFter visiting her family, we flew from Beijing to a mountain retreat that was fabulous; we stayed there for three days; even took in a local play there among other things!
My name is Anthony and my lady's name is Wei!
And no, the translator is not into scamming at all. She is the type that you have to insists that she take some sort of compensation. She wants to do things free. I tell her I understand - but you have to eat too!
I met the translator and her boss and still keep in contact with her often. While there she was even thoughful enough to bring me a gift. So I am talking about a first class person. Not because she brought a gift - but because the person is simply a good and thoughtful person.
The translator is a young lady and she is for real.
Obviously my lady is the real deal.....and she is as fine as home made apple pie! Seems like I should have put some dumplings in there some where! Any way, she is straight forward, gets to the heart of things....and made it her business to really take care of me....making sure we were treated properly and paid....what local folks pay...and she let prying eyes know in no uncertain terms that she was my lady and that I was spoken for.
I took the Arnold approach....slow and easy....We are well beyond the introductory phase; in June I will head back with a ring and my hat in my hand....I can see myself now...!
It is good to be here - thanks for the kind words!
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That is absolutely wonderful, Anthony! Stories like yours are what all the newbies like me are aiming for ;) I would love to keep hearing of your adventures, great to see you here!
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Hi Anthony,
congratulations! I hope that I will be as fortunate as you.
Since I started this thread, I have heard a lot of negative stories in other threads, and found out that my lady's agency has had some bad reports. I am trying to hold onto the trust that I and my lady have built up since we have been corresponding.
It is less than a month away now and my excitement is tempered with nervousness. A few letters back, she replied to a question I asked about our meeting like this:
Dear Alex,
Thank you for reading about the Chinese customes about showing affection in public. To be honest, Chinese girls are more conservative, might not like the girls in your country. I welcome your hug most when we first meet each other at the airport. For I think I might be very neverous and excited when I first meet you here. Oh, my dear Alex really comes here and stands in front of me now. My dear Alex, it's more nicer for you giving me a little time to calm down my feelings. When we are back to the hotel, and we have some talk, and we have the feeling just like we are in the letter, I want you to give me kiss, ok? It would be very sweet. My face is flushed now.
I hope it will continue to be what I believe it is, which is a genuine relationship. I will only really find that out when I meet her. I haven't felt anything in her correspondence to send out warning signs, but I will visit the agency and check it out.
I feel a diary coming on.
wish me luck. :)
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Alex that's real and good luck. :D
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Chi,
I will certainly post my experience at the mountain retreat and visit to Beijing and Handan!
You may like it...I had a great time.
Thanks again
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Alex,
You will do great.
The heck with the agency...focus on your lady.....the rest will follow..
Your lady's response sounds familiar?.
My lady and I talked about what we would do when we first met at the airport.
Fact is we were both nervous as all hell... I took the initiative when we first met..and planted one on her delicately....with some style.
After the first day..it was on!!
Hand in hand ..or arm in arm everywhere we went..
After the first day..my lady was making me blush!
I kept telling myself..heaven must be like this!
A lot of ground work was laid before hand...so we trust each other..and believe in each other...
Open, honest, and go with your cut...everything else will fall into place...even eating with chop sticks....
Once you are at the point where you need to be...your lady will tell you what you need to know...she will answer your questions...openly about agency fees...as well as anything else..
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Changsha is an amazing city! I only wish my wife lives there. The food is fantastic, the sights are great...just stay away from the spa's.
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Thanks Anthony and Martin for your positive words of encouragement about my trip and about Changsha. This thread is called 'Uncharted Territory', but I feel I have more of a map than when I started it.
It will be the trip of my life, whatever happens. I am trying not to project too much into the future to a time when I am back in England and missing my lady terribly, but I'm kind of preparing myself for it.
I know there are a few guys going to Changsha in the coming months - I am sure I will be booking another trip very soon after this month's trip - it would be nice to synchronize with some of you if possible. I feel so lucky to have found this woman. I'm going to repay all her faith in me - with interest.
Alex
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Alex,
Go have some fun; go with your heart; and stay confident. Your lady if she is like most of ours- will want you to display some confidence in yourself, and about your situation.
Yes, if things go as planned, you definitely will go through a period where you will miss your lady. If you keep smiling and do things right - she will miss you too!
But right now - just go and enjoy yourself!
Anthony
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metooap... your right on the money. I couldnt say it any better.....
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Go for it Alex, stay cool man and good luck mate.... :D
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Alex , go have a good time , remember ... Martin and Peter are not there at the moment , so it's quite safe . Hehe
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Martin and Peter are not there at the moment , so it's quite safe
HAHAHA You can imagine the looks people gave when they saw two lau wai together.
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Changsha is an amazing city! I only wish my wife lives there. The food is fantastic, the sights are great...just stay away from the spa's.
So.. anyway, I'm a newbie. What's wrong with the spas?
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What's wrong with the spas?
Nothing is really wrong with them. They just don't let you wear anything, cept a pair of plastic slippers...then when they do let you get dressed, they give you pajama's that are too small (If you are tall like me).
Ask Peter about it, he can tell you all about it...we were there together, with our ladies (but the ladies were in another part till the pajama's were provided).
Seriously though, there is nothing wrong with the spa's...I was just not expecting to walk all around this place with no clothes on....and then be scrubbed from head to toe with what I think might have been sandpaper.
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Dinger ... you're lucky they didn't use the electric sander. :shock:
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Martin,
I may try the spas. On the plus side, I am not blessed with the Nordic height of you or Peter, so those fashionable pyjamas may be just my size. I believe I am closer to the Chinese average height. On the minus side, the kind of extreme exfoliation you described may remove as much skin as Hannibal Lecter does when he's dining out with a friend.
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ahahaha I am glad I asked - I would be very surprised without a heads up LoL. How tall are you and Peter? I'm 6'2" / 188 cm so I was wondering how out of place I would be
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:arrow: ...recently I viewed a documentary about a young Chinese girl who went to work on a river boat. She cried herself to sleep at night because her coworkers had several nicknames relating to her supposed darker complexion. It would seem that those who grow up working on the farm and in the sun daily-along with other factors, have darker skin. The same slants were used in Victorian Europe to label "commoners". This whole discussion of skin tones is getting to be quite boring. I have never seen a yellow person.
Wow, I am a bit surprised by the post from Froseman! I have been in the wings of these forums for quite sometime. (Hey I can't wait for the "scam" section.) Anyway, I am sorry to read about your experiences with the China Love Bridge Agency. I to am of mixed race ancestry, and have not had any direct implications due to race (there is one young lady shut our relationship down after, I suspect her parents saw my picture) So when I read your post I had to comment. Peter had already had me in his blog about his marriage, and about Changsha. I have been communicating with a young lady from Changsha. Is it just me, but does Changsha have ALL the beautiful ladies? (Just my opinion of course) I hope that I do not have any bad experiences with this current young lady or CLB. Her letters to me are OK I guess, and we seem to be getting closer. So plans are underway for her and this agency to accommodate a visit from me later this year. Again, your post scares me as I have a few out of Changsha and CLB, that I might write to if this one does not work out. I know, but I've several admirers from Changsha and this agency. Coincidence? Tonight I only see Purple and Gold vs the Red and White, Go Lakers!
Froseman, Thank You very much for the information and I wish you the best! As a matter fact, Thanks to all of you, I am glad to be apart of the "brotherhood".
Anthony, you to had a wonderful post. I might be contacting you via private messaging. I live in the Megalopolis, maybe we can get together. I would love to talk to you about my trip later this year. I will be going to Beijing and Shanghai, after I leave Changsha.
I have not yet asked my friend any questions about my ethnicity, but I assume she is OK with it. I also assume that her parents are aware as well as they are very close. Only time will tell. I like her, she was my last attempt on China Love for this year, as I was going to stop and save a few bucks and a little pride until next year.
I have never attempted anything like this in my life. Trying to meet someone in the "cloud" is truly uncharted territory. Like many of you, I have no problem with meeting women, but for me it was and is time to expand the limits of my physical world and navigate the horizons. I am headed east.
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Thender5
If I can help in any way, let me know. I have been to Beijing and can recommend this great hotel there so let me know.
Also, to eliminate the confusion about who you are and your ethnicity is pretty easy. Do three things:
1) I am sure you have pictures of the lady you are talking with, natural pictures that are not touched-up. If not, ask for pictures. Send the lady plenty of pictures of yourself in your daily life. When you send pictures - tell her what the pictures are about and what you are doing in the pictures.
2) Get on Skype and talk with her as much as you can. Initially you may have the agency set up the first session. I suggest you move past this after the first session. Talk with her, communicate with her as much as you can through Skype.
3) Do not assume - ask. It does not matter what your ethnicity - you need to ask about her parents, her family and how they feel about her dating a guy from the West. You will get a direct answer.
I have found that the heart and love has only one color.....
The key is not to assume, to communicate, to ask questions, to answer her questions directly....and above all do two things:
1) Have fun; and
2) Display confidence!
It is not about getting a lady?.it is about finding ?The lady? ? that is out there waiting for you!
Go for it!