China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Martin on May 26, 2009, 01:50:17 pm
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Peter and I have been talking on QQ, and both have expressed concerns that there is a lot of talk that chnlove has many scams on the go. From what we are both reading, it would almost seem like there are more scams than there are success stories. While there have been some recent well documented cases of men being taken by the agency, there are also many well documented cases of success stories.
I personally feel that the success' are being over shadowed by the negative stories. Let me point out some success stories:
Me! (sorry, was too obvious) I have married Zhifang
Peter and Tina...soon to get married (I have met both)
Arnold and Qing
Ed and Xindi
Nik & YanFei
Maxx & Jinxia
Robert W & BaoPing
Ronald and Ziyan
In two weeks, we will be adding Chong to this list. I know there are others. I don't want the negative to overshadow the positive.
And..cough cough...also do not want to forget Vince and Song. (late update)
Be aware of the scams, but don't let them make you believe that this is all a hoax, because it is not.
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Ahem! Ahem! Song and I aren't going anywhere without the other. Nothings going to change with us, except more of a future.
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I think you are right Martin, the negatives at the moment are outweighing the positives, so as you say, lets concentrate on the good of Chnlove...
But as you say be aware, there are scams, but not from every agency.
Hopefully Keren and myself will be added to the list.
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Here's my 2 cents again
As you know by chance i meet a wonderful lady i was searching chnlove one day ans seen her so i was became a member on AFF gold member,which get first look at new profiles,i seen the lady that i seen in chnlove i must have been one of the first to send one she got back to me a few days later and we have been talking ever since and now use QQ twice a day,wish i knew how to record it,but in our talking i asked her how many emails she got in AFF she told over a hundred in 2 days at AFF and she had to take her photos off of there,also she liked me and wanted to talk with me,now lets see who has more members.
if she got a 100 emails on chnlove every 2 days and sent a 100 replies every 2 days so that would equal 100 a day sey they all were $5 so the agency and chnlove are making 500$ a day just off this one lady.the agency is P203,3500$ a week ,182,000$ a year,off one good looking lady on there.
her profile is P2031699 so you can look she is a beautiful lady in pictures there but they have been photoshopped a medium bit,also came up that i asked her she does not even answer the mails since she meet me online.
So really how much is chnlove making with the agency's with the thousands of clients that are there
I want in on our own agency and help people get wifes and help, the right way how it has been said in other posts
Uncle Brucie
totally in love with a beautiful woman
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Hi Uncle Brucie,
There is a message export function in QQ. Click the QQ button in the lower left corner of the main panel. Choose "Tools ->Message Manager". Click "Contacts" and mark the Contact you want to export. Then click "Import & Export" (little arrow to the left) and choose "Export message history". When you will save the data, you should change the file type to "Webpage". Then can see all writing in Internet explorer! Save it where you can find it again!
Enjoy!
Well, in August you might add me to the list Martin! hehe! I just sent the visitor invitation to my lady. She is going to apply for the passport at once and then she will apply for the tourist visa! So, hopefully I do not have go through the heartbreaking goodbye at the airport because we both get on the plane!
For those who haven't found the right one, keep looking they are out there!! Good luck!
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Thank you Hajo, I never knew that. Worked great. Saved all of our conversations. Saving everything to DVD, e mails, now this. great.
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Bad news spreads like wildfire (Johney Cash song), its a simple psychology. Watch the 9,10 or 11 o'clock news. Count the good stories vs the bad, how many good stories are there we never hear about? How many bad do we not hear about? How many sign up that never intend on leaving the states or whatever country they reside in to meet thier girl? Even with us the gross populous of this message board, I'd say there is a good probability of half not going at all.
I think personally the good outweighs the bad, always has.
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Add Shawn Naferty to the list.I don't remember his wifes name.But he used to post on FB.
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And - Michael Maines & Zhouwie - M
Remember I have a list?
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Sorry Vince, I was not trying to rain on your list....I was just trying to make a point to some of the guys. I really don't want a second list
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I was mowing over what could be said? But I think it has been said many times before? There's no way around having to write a woman and use that service. If that is the woman you want to meet? In reading many here and other forums, some jump to conclusion that it's all fake. It's almost like the story of the boy that cried wolf. If a letter comes in late or it's shorter then usual it doesn't mean your being played.
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Trust mate that's what it's all about.................And Faith:)
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Trust mate that's what it's all about.................And Faith:)
and love
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Trust mate that's what it's all about.................And Faith:)
and love
What Braveheart and the Chocolate Guy said.
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maybe it has been a hoax all along and with the tight times with everyone watching their pennies it is going to catch up with them
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maybe it has been a hoax all along and with the tight times with everyone watching their pennies it is going to catch up with them
Well...how can it be a hoax if several members, plus more to come, have gotten married. Take a look at the official site, and look at their success stories. You tell me?
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Here's my 2 cents again
As you know by chance i meet a wonderful lady i was searching chnlove one day ans seen her so i was became a member on AFF gold member,which get first look at new profiles,i seen the lady that i seen in chnlove i must have been one of the first to send one she got back to me a few days later and we have been talking ever since and now use QQ twice a day,wish i knew how to record it,but in our talking i asked her how many emails she got in AFF she told over a hundred in 2 days at AFF and she had to take her photos off of there,also she liked me and wanted to talk with me,now lets see who has more members.
if she got a 100 emails on chnlove every 2 days and sent a 100 replies every 2 days so that would equal 100 a day sey they all were $5 so the agency and chnlove are making 500$ a day just off this one lady.the agency is P203,3500$ a week ,182,000$ a year,off one good looking lady on there.
her profile is P2031699 so you can look she is a beautiful lady in pictures there but they have been photoshopped a medium bit,also came up that i asked her she does not even answer the mails since she meet me online.
So really how much is chnlove making with the agency's with the thousands of clients that are there
I want in on our own agency and help people get wifes and help, the right way how it has been said in other posts
Uncle Brucie
totally in love with a beautiful woman
Uncle Brucie,
FYI, she does reply to other mails... (or perhaps the translator again). Karissa Zhou.
I have no intention to steal your girl, but I have become rather sinister about this whole thing, and as a test I sent this girl a cupid note. She replied - rather encouraging also I might add.
I don't like to see others getting hurt (as I did), notwithstanding the success stories.
Toon
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i guess this is one of those 24 hour rules days ummm
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I would not worry Uncle Brucie , as sending a cupid note gets an automatic response otherwise the agency translator would not be doing his job , even the first few emails sometimes the ladies are not even aware of .
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Martin I can appreciate your sentiments and I agree to a certain extent. Chnlove is a good thing yet has been infected with greedy people as of late. Yes, there have been many success stories and there will continue to be in the future. These negative posts are not meant to overshadow the positive posts. They are a necessary evil to protect the brotherhood. The success story guys I am happy for you yet the posts are not really even meant for you guys because you are done hunting as Mike would say. Understand the whole picture and not just a piece of the puzzle. I also want to address Maxx about the comment about the why is it only happening to some and others are having no difficulty, that is a biased and unfair assumption based on your positive experience. It is a possibility that you guys were the fortunate ones. I went through 5 girls so far, is that my fault because none were compatible matches. Just recently I was scammed and Chnlove told me in a letter they suspended the agencie's license to suncontract with them. These negative posts are strengthing our brotherhood not weakening it. Without the necessary info our guys will continue to be taken advantage of, do you want that. Personally I'm in contact with girls right here so it is okay if I stop using Chnlove, but you know what I still believe in Chnlove even with all the crap lately. Stop thinking in western terms guys. This thing is the little bit of bad in the good in the Ying Yang symbol. Both need each other to coexcist in life. There is nothing bogus or hoax about Chnlove, I personally meant three girls and will shortly be meeting a fourth one this weekend. It is for real and needs our support with positive as well as well as negative comments.
China Shark Mike
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As much as I hate to remember the way my trip ended. I have to say that it was all so very real to me. I do not think I was being played or taken advantage of. I just had a problem that she could not deal with. She was a very nice and kind person and I wish so bad it would have worked out. She was a hard worker and had a car, computer and her own place to live. So I just want to add that there may be scammers out there but there are also good ones. I do not think even a Chinese women is goung to marry some one just to get married. This woman never asked for a penny from me nor would she let me buy her even the smallest of items. I even wrote her a few days ago and I didnt think she would respond and of course she didnt. We need to stay positive about the whole chmlove thing.
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While I am sure there are scammers out there, it's pretty unusual for you not to be able to work out that it's for real. Most of the scammers are pretty dumb. There's some clever ones about. But mostly, they are as dumb as can be. I went across to China. It didn't work out, but it was something real. I spent a couple of weeks with her and it was a lot of fun. It was touch and go whether it was going to work out to my mind. It didn't work out, but it was something real.
I have written a few letters to about half a dozen other women. And in about half of the cases it was the lady who broke off. So to my mind those three cases were also real. A scammer wouldn't have broken it up.
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Just to follow up
during our 2 hour webcam this morning i politely asked her if she had been there and she politely got irritated and said she had not been there in 3 days so i left it like that and never brought it up again
so they are possibly writing emf's and cupid notes at that agency P203
it is also so to know the feeling of seeing her face i now know what it is like to actually know someone is there and laugh about nothing i think i have found mine.
Uncle Bruce
and as China shark said he went threw 5 ladies i think it has been 8 for me
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I am not saying this is posted here.
:@
I think I have reached a point where I am tired of hearing the word scam. I'm also finding that I'm not the only one at this point. I have seen and read in other forums what some say is a scam?
There are some that read of men going to China and the relationship not working out for whatever reason. It's Not a Scam
Not getting a photo as soon as requested is not a scam.
The relationship not working from the start or not going well? is Not a Scam.
Getting form type letter on first or second reply, is Not a Scam.
She Doesn't have a computer. is Not a Scam.
Doesn't want to give out personal info (Phone #, Home addr) to someone they really don't know except for a few letters written. is Not a Scam.
is Not a Scam, List can go on for pages? Don't forget the women are keeping watch on being scammed themselves. They hear stories there too.
Western men are "Hooking up" with the chinese women just for sex and leave never to be heard from again.
Why do you want a western man? Do you want to disgrace your culture?
Then the old popular, the men have lied and made up many things. Like they are six foot and work out, and 35 years old? When they meet the woman is saying the same as some men? "Who are you?"
Again I am not saying it is someone that posted here.
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Vince, you are quite right.
And we should also not assume that every lady wants us. They too are entitled to discriminate, and it may well be that they are disappointed on meeting us.
They are not western females who can just tell us to go to buggery. They may just stop writing and we have to accept it.
In real life, they are more likely to give us the bad news through a third party.
A true scam is where the guy visits his "girl', but that girl never actually wrote to him, either direct or through EMFs.
Toon.
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Thanks Toon, I'm glad and hope others are seeing it this way too.
You made another point I should have put in there. There are some men that because the woman feels she is not attracted to? Have their feeling hurt, feel a kind of prejudiced and yell scam. It's the same as having the feeling hurt and saying she's a lesbian that's why she's not interested? Be men and move on to others. Don't wallow around because your feelings are hurt.
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Vince,
May I suggest a thread about the Asian ways of doing things? For the benefit of those who travel to China first time. Like Asian Etiquette. Also very important in dating Asian ladies and maintaining a happy marriage (in addition to the fundamentals).
Some of us will have spent a lot of time somewhere in Asia (like myself), who will know that people and their culture are different, and we should behave accordingly.
In fact, some western men can be an embarrassment for us all. I have come across them not a few times.
Toon
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Spruik good idea,..... however, there are guy's on here that do read everything and MOST IMPORTANTLY 'TAKE' it in...If the guy's who are serious about going there to met their ladies, ARE SERIOUS they would already have READ up on everything concerning the ladies culture and history.
Vince just like we spoke about yesterday mate???????
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Another point I want to make is this...how many men are writing to multiple women, and think that this is acceptable? And if this is acceptable, should the women also not be permitted to write to multiple men? I have read where men are upset because they do not have the exclusive rights on a certain woman, and yet, they have several girls lined up. The ball bounces both ways.
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Another very good point Martin, what is good for the goose is sauce for the gander..... so to speak????
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When Martin and I was talking about this I thought that we should encourage those brothers that was thinking of going to China and meet the woman they have wrote a lot of letters to. I am not only thinking of us from the Brotherhood but also those guys that comes as a guest to read about our opinion and thoughts in a lot of different threads. I agree with Master Vince in what he wrote about scams and what isn't a scam. When I was in China I met a kind of behavior that I also think is a scam. This guy was taking a trip to three different ladies in three different cities... In my opinion this is also a scam... These ladies have given all of them to this guy and he was just visiting them and then left for another woman and city.. Just think the efforts those ladies have made so he can visit them... One of the ladies that I know was very sad after he went but not over him.. Instead it was because she had given her heart to the man in the letters and not the real man that just came and then left her again..
I believe that the best way to behave is to be honest to the lady at all times because if you isn't it will always show in the end..
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The point that is being made in this thread, is, not everything that appears different is always a scam. Some of us should look into our own backyards first before we start throwing around accusations.
For those that have obviously had things happen...like going to China to meet their lady, and being a complete stranger to them...we are here to support you, and try to help in whatever way we can. To the others...if it is just a feeling, leave it at that! We are a support group. We are not pfishy.com (sorry pfishy guys that are reading this).
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I'm not talking about anyone here. I don't really know all here in face to face way. I have a friend (and it's not me, lol) That goes to any personals he can find, makes a profile. He lies throughout the whole profile and all I keep telling him is why? He lies about his age, looks, finances, his job, even the size of his house? He says he has an estate? on the ocean. It's a small 2 bedroom home on a canal? I can go on about him but the point to be made is if your starting out in lies? What do you expect a relationship will be?
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Hey, I was dissapointed in what happened when I went to meet my girl in Chengdu. As of right now of all the problems we have encountered everything is going very well for us. We don't use CHN at all anymore. We communicate through QQ and email. I am going back again in September. Do I think CHN is a scam...NO. I think there are a few bad apples in some agency's. Looks like with everyones help we can get rid of them. There are many success stories to be heard and I like hearing them!!
Keep up the good work Mods! I enjoy this website!
David and Mei
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Vince and Martin very valid points about the guys with mutiple women and lying about things that will obviously be discovered upon meeting face to face. I never wrote more than one woman at a time once things got serious or lied about anything. The list Vince mentions I would agree that those things are lame attempts at justifying why things didn't work out for them. My point was to keep both sides of the story alive and of course not dwell on the negative stuff yet see it for what it is to protect one another. Whether I marry a Chinese woman from Chnlove or just one I meet here I will always support the mission Chnlove has and that is to form a cross cultural relationship. If I didn't stumble upon Chnlove I would have never followed my dream in life.
China Shark Mike
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My point was to keep both sides of the story alive and of course not dwell on the negative stuff yet see it for what it is to protect one another.
I totally agree with this! Keep our eyes open. It just seemed to Peter and I that the negative stuff was starting to take over, and this was not the point of the Brotherhood.
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Another point I want to make is this...how many men are writing to multiple women, and think that this is acceptable? And if this is acceptable, should the women also not be permitted to write to multiple men? I have read where men are upset because they do not have the exclusive rights on a certain woman, and yet, they have several girls lined up. The ball bounces both ways.
As for my personal (moral) opinion:
Is is perfectly acceptable to write to more than one lady. But if she asks, we should be frank about that.
We should not expect her to write only to us. Do we really expect her to drop someone she already was writing to? In fact I think we should not even ask her if she is writing to others, we are not entitled to such information, and she may have difficulty being that frank for fear of losing us.
UNTIL... Both get committed to each other, either during the course of our visit, or through letters (not recommended in my books). However, going to visit her is not a commitment in itself, even if we are going to stay in her house.
It is allright to visit a lady in different cities (or in the same city for that matter), provided she knows about it and it is acceptable to her. But do not ask or expect her favours at that time.
Toon.
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I think you just have to be careful. The first two ladies I started writing to were not scams in any way... they just did not work out.
Now I have been writing Anna for almost two months and we are in love and are engaged. We exchange emails everyday and use web cam chat about 5 times a week. I would not have met the woman of my dreams without Chnlove and the advise of the experienced members here!:heart:
A question for the brothers? I am thinking that some of the scam talk is from people who have been rejected or unable to win a ladies heart... what do you think? It is easier to find fault when the system is not working for you... And I am just saying that this could be a reason for the increase in scam talk lately.
Don't give up hope! I cannot believe my good fortune in meeting Anna!:D
Big Dave
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All that is being said about being scammed is making some paranoid and newbies want to write but are afraid to. So lets set the record straight.
Until it becomes obvious it is a scam? Don't assume it is.
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ok
The reason i got on this is because the one i was going to go see in shanghai very nice lady maybe i pushed a little bit all i wanted was to see her for a minute on webcam in the chnlove office,it would have taken just one 10 second period to see her,as a post long ago that vince made about ladies being on another site had me wondering,so i joined Asian Friend Finder just to look and see maybe an email or something away from chnlove with out the pressure of an agency looking over her shoulder,I did find her profile on there,it was the same lady i knew because there was 1 just 1 pic of her on there that was in chnlove, i mentioned it too her to go there on hat site to see that i had left her many emails and voice mails,i did this in a polite way that maybe she would only understand, well the translator went and said that we had broken up and i wasn't going to write to her again,this is how it started including the 24 hour rule i tried to wait and i did,tried to talk to her again but i believe it was intercepted by the translator again and said the same thing she thought i had didn't want to talk to her again,even though i expressed my self that i did,welll that brought a letter to sherry chu at customer service,very polite nice lady or what ever she does there,well i got mad at sherry and asked that i be returned the credits trying to fix this
All the while i seen the other site with her other pictures on it , not even close to chnlove pictures just the one.
chnlove took there time so i demanded that they give me credits back for trying to fix this mess that the translator did,no answer,so i demanded a return of all the credits used to talk to her and this was no way to run a company or an agency and that we pay for this and it was no way to treat people this way they returned 10 credits i tried to talk again and translator i believe trying to cover himself for a mistake send the old she does not want to talk to me.
Return to sherry chu,if she is real or not who knows,totally upset because this was a good relationship going on demanded that i be returned all credits talking to her for i have to start over again with another lady after a few days sherry chu or chnlove finally gave in and returned all credits.
Now this brought me to this lady in P368 hand in hand same thing everything going fine as l asked for a webcam visit to be sure or personal email, well this brought on all of a sudden she has to go to shengyang as a business trip and she becomes unavailable she has my personal email to send to me letters in chinese which i can translate using MDBG online which i recommend to anyone for i have never had a problem talking to people using it some syntax's might be wrong but people use their brain and it works.
Now most ladies do use their name on there chnlove site but their english name or what ever name they want that is close,for i have seen this from others i have talked to,while i got an email address from yahoo with her english name on it not her chinese name ok that is fine but then its a complaint that it is too hard even though she writes in chinese,ok fine,but she went to shengyang and no translator, i do my best write in english and underneath it is in chinese but they seemed to get shorter shorter and always complaining that she is busy,well this is going to be my next fight with chnlove for i believe again that she never got emails from me and it is the agency forcing the translators to do things like this because it is their job/livelyhood
I do just by accident got the translators QQ number and we have become friends I think unless she is part of the gig for pay to herslf which i do not believe but you never know,i may try to get her to join here and help people in any ways she can,but if she is part of the agency thing then it might be wrong, i will find out for sure.
So Londoner when you are in Zhuhai please check this lady out at the agency P368530 I believe it is not the lady but the agency
So i think i voiced why i think that a lot of this may be a (bad word ) scam and the more expose the bad ones maybe somewhere down the road many brothers will not get fleeced like us before.
I am glad i think i am totally in love with the ladt i write to now with QQ and video the feeling like those that are married with the help of chnlove i might thank them one day but that might be a long time coming.
The lady i have mentioned before from chengdu i have meet her daughter and mother in QQ so i believe this is real and i think i am going to be one of the lucky ones here,just keep trying guys
Bruce
uncle brucie
anyone going to china at christmas time,if anyone can help with what i should expect please do
oh yes
here is one more thing
when you complain about something it seems no more cupid notes your emails get slowed down really bad like it takes a day when it was with in hours so if you complain this can happen also no more admirer lettters
uncle bruce
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I remember writing about the other sites but that was to make a point that some agencies use the photos as advertisement to get you to Chnlove. So joining the other site is useless. Some agencies are affiliated with other personals and take advantage of that. It's a way of recruiting men for the agency. What ever you wrote it sounds like the translator screwed up. So far there isn't a scam here. At best it's a crappy business practice.
But now you found someone and communicating outside of EMF's.
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anyone going to china at christmas time,if anyone can help with what i should expect please do
Um...lots of Chinese people! It was my experience that when I was in China, there were a lot of them.
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Apart from the many Chinese, also expect no readable road signs and no readable signs on buses... ask the driver where the bus goes? He doesn't understand any English. Neither does anybody else in the bus.
Nobody knows where they're going... :cool:
I don't dare (yet) to venture out to a railway station and take a train - I'll probably finish up in Siberia never to return... LOL.
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Um, I hope to be there at Christmas and Chinese new year..for a special vacation ;)
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Expect xmas trees and decorations everywhere, shop workers in santa suits and carols on shop sound systems, all rather odd.
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Agarn it is the way of the world. When I was in Shanghai in 93-94 anf Japan there was Xmas stuff everywhere. It boils dlwn to pure capitalism, if there is money to be made by a gimmick go for it. I kind of like it because it reminds me of the states.
China Shark Mike
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I'm psyched already about the Chinese new year festivals. I remember reading in a Chinese English language paper that last time several buildings were burned down as a result of foreigners setting off fireworks!
It seems to me that its like Armageddon there during these celebrations, of course with a lovely Chinese lady hugging me tight whilst the fireworks go off I can think of nothing better to do over the holiday season so that is where I will be :)
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What everyone gonna be over there for xmas and new years. Hehehe.
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I am not saying this is posted here.
:@
I think I have reached a point where I am tired of hearing the word scam. I'm also finding that I'm not the only one at this point. I have seen and read in other forums what some say is a scam?
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Then the old popular, the men have lied and made up many things. Like they are six foot and work out, and 35 years old? When they meet the woman is saying the same as some men? "Who are you?"
Again I am not saying it is someone that posted here.
Similar looking admirer letters to different guys is not a scam either. And if the lady tells the guy that she did not write it, she may well be correct - the agency wrote it, but was requested by the lady. No reason why an agency should not use a standard format, modified depending on the guy's profile.
And... since it is not exactly Asian/Chinese style for girls to approach guys initially (generally), should we discount the possibility that a lady simply prefers not to admit she initiated the first contact?
Especially if she is already communicating to someone. She is not bound to just one guy, certainly not in the early stages. She may be well aware of the possibility of disappointment on meeting (if he turns up, and makes a respectable impression) and doesn't want to waste her time.
This post is in part a copy & paste (from another post here by me) - doesn't mean it's a scam.
I now firmly believe I have one such example.
Toon
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We have to remember who were talking too here.
In the West, lying is the sign of a bad upbringing or bad character. In China, telling a lie is a blurry and unclear concept. Mothers don't get upset at children for telling a lie. There is no clear concept about lying. Seldom will you hear someone say "you're lying". There is no cultural value attached to this expression within the linguistic makeup of the culture. There is no word for "liar" in Chinese, no heckling of children who tell a lie in front of peers - liar liar pants on fire; common phrase used to instill the shame of lying into children in our culture.
Lying is a frequent and acceptable activity within Chinese society. To a certain extent, everyone lies, and most people know that the other person is lying. Why do they accept it? It is acceptable to lie in Chinese society. It is not a sign of a bad up-bringing or poor character; what is important is the outcome -face. Face is an important ideal in Chinese society. Individuals need face and a nation needs face. An individual needs face in front of friends and acquaintances and a nation needs face in front its citizens and the world.
This value system is, in many ways, exactly opposite from our own. But let's keep in mind that it is a real and thriving value system throughout China and possibly many other countries in the world that don't fall into the standard European culture-set.
Possibly we will be able to understand the concept of lying in Chinese society by the expression "a white lie". A white lie is told to save someone from what is perceived as a bad or unfair outcome. The idea of lying in China is much the same. Being as China has a different moral up-bringing from what is common in the West, lying has become a means to an end. Lies are told on a constant basis and within their society no one would question what is being said. It is understood that the "lie" is for a reason of perceived good. No one is judged as being of poor character; rather it is viewed as an opportunity to -save face. To question this "save face mechanism" would be seen as a sign of poor character. The individual questioning it would be viewed as someone to be avoided. However, when these "lies" are exposed and the person is seen as having purposefully told a lie they will lose all credibility and worse yet -lose face. This seldom happens in Chinese society because people will opt to let something 'slip' in the best interest of not creating waves -not purposefully causing someone a loss of face. But when waves are created, most Chinese will not comprehend the reason behind causing the person to lose face. Most people will feel that it would have been best just left alone. In the end, the person who caused the loss of face will be viewed as a person of weaker character.
China is coming from a vastly different social value system than the rest of the world and it will take generations for us to really come to understand one another.
Just a thought........
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China is coming from a vastly different social value system than the rest of the world and it will take generations for us to really come to understand one another.
Kind of like trying to understand a woman...never gonna happen!
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It was not the concept of lying. It is the intention of being lied to. Forming a common particular point of when the scheme actually begins, if it does? Dissociating the first one or two admirer letters from the actual forged responses. If the letters have surpassed three plus and you do not see a personality emerge? Then it should be looked into.
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Paul I agree with some of what you are saying yet have to play devil's advocate to dismay of members of the brotherhood. Yes, lying is a way of life here because of the cultural upbringing. But you also have to keep in mind we are trying to bridge a cross cultural relationship too. The Chinese do understand our morality in lying, they know it to be wrong yet it is used as an excuse when they feel they might lose face because of an indiscretion on thier part. Things are changing over here and the Chinese are coming around to the idea that blurring the truth is no longer acceptable practice. My fourth grade and my sixth grade classes will bear this out. When someone lies they call that person rubbish or no good. Out of the mouths of babes truth is spoken. Stop trying to rationalize bad or dishonest behavior. It is what it is, a ploy to extract money by any means necessary and in my book it is not cool. I agree with some points Vince has brought up yet I have to say when the agency is outright lying or the woman is not aware that I am writing that is where the line of white lie becomes outright deception. Truth be told now is that I am too well aware of things anymore to really be taken advantage like I was in the past. Knowledge is power brothers, follow your dream but with eyes open and protect your heart in the meanwhile. It is like anything else in life, there will be good things as well as bad things on the road of life. It just takes a wise and prudent man to navigate it successfully.
China Shark Mike
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Shark you got the point I was making. It might be common place for Chinese to lie without consequent but that doesn't give them the right to prolong letters from the woman not having any knowledge of the man writing. Then the other side of it is for the man not to jump to conclusion before it has happened.
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This week I have received three admirer messages. All say how they have read my profile with interest and that I may be the one for them.
Either they or the agency has not read a single word as my profiles reads
'Thank you to all who have read my profile.
I am now in contact with someone and I will be shortly coming to Zhuhai. So If you see me walking around please say 'Ni Hao' but I am no longer available'
Are they seeing something in me from this that I cannot see????
Willy the Londoner
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Looks like the agencies are too busy sending out mass admirer letters...
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Willy,
You can hide your profile. No new women can see it. Only the ones you have written to or have written to you in the past. That stops the admirer letters.
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Willy best way to stop admirer letters without making your profile invisible is to send some real harsh complaints about the agencies and like magic no more admirer letters. I stop receiving admirer letters after I conplained the third time and got ten credits back.
Shark
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I think Willy intentionally does not hide his profile, in order to see what happens. :)
I would like to see more about the ladies in their profiles, such as hobbies and interests, the type of man she is looking for. As standard points.
As it stands, you mainly need to rely on what she looks like, but which turns out quite different when she is out of the studio - back home.
We don't need to know why she got divorced (all the reasons given are the same anyway).
Toon
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I think Willy intentionally does not hide his profile, in order to see what happens. :)
Toon
I could not see how to make my profile hidden so did the next best thing and announced to all that I am spoken for as that looked the easier. 000ps have now found the way to do it and I am now Hidden.
Willy