China Romance
All About China => Marrying A Lady In China => Topic started by: Arnold on May 09, 2009, 12:46:47 am
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Haha , thought I get you Guy's looking , what this is all about ?
Nothing really , just in case ... someone belong's under this Topic .
I really hope it will not be of much use , but you never know ?
So , for the first to use this Topic , here is my BIG smile ^_^ for you . Now go back and change it to , Happy Now .
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Haha, two days ago, as I lost my pal through 16 years, I would have belonged here. But today, no way. The loss has been replaced by the most wondwerful lady on this planet! Sorry guys, but there is only this one and I won't let her go again. :cool:
Remember: There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel!
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Hajo , yes you go and not let Vicky get away or she might fall into a chinese Man's hand's . And you certainly don't want that to happen .
Looks like everybody is happy so far ? Great !!!
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Hajo, hold on tight to her (if she is right for you), it's worth the ride;) , besides, if you don't some one else will take her then what do you have?:P
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Michael, I won't let her go! She is the one I have been looking for. I am sure!
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I seem to have caught a bit of bad luck, as Li's parents said 'No' to our relationship. So it seems that I need to start over (again). Feeling a little down about it, but hey, what's life without some bumps, right? Thinking of laying low for a bit to let my heart heal.
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Carl that's a shame. But maybe it was just not meant to be. Lay low if you want but? It will find you. That's what happen to me. I started laying low and just putting a few hellos out there and then bam there she was.
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Boy ... I hope my Thread did not put some bad spell on some of our member's here ?
I did say , I don't want to see anybody in here , but what can I do ?
Sorry again Carl , let it pass ... but not get you down .
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Is there nothing one can do to help shift the parents opinion? I've been talking to my girl about her parents a lot, getting to know a bit about them and getting her to wish her mom a happy Mother's Day etc. with the hopes of winning their affection. Knowing that parents have such a strong say in the girl's life means we've got to win them over as well. Meeting the parents will be a stressful time I think.
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Neil I lost my first lady through her father, so I would say that it would be very hard to shift their opinion if it is set, sorry brother. Maybe 'The Shark' 'Maxx' or 'Arnold' may know how? But good luck anyway
Rob
I seem to have caught a bit of bad luck, as Li's parents said 'No' to our relationship. So it seems that I need to start over (again). Feeling a little down about it, but hey, what's life without some bumps, right? Thinking of laying low for a bit to let my heart heal.
Carl come on brother, don't let your head get down, the same thing happened to me, and now look I'm getting married in November to another lady. The way I look at it now is, her parents done me a good turn by refusing our relationship, I have found a really wonderful lady as a result.
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Carl, it is thier rules and thier playing field, we're just renting space here. My first girl on Chnlove ended because of parents opinion of me. After three letters of getting slammed I ended it for both of our sakes. To be honest I don't think there is anyway of changing someone's mind once it is made. Also, I'm finding out Chinese can be pretty stubborn when they set thier mind to something. It happens, put it behind you and turn it into a positive for the next lucky lady you meet. Everything happens for a reason yet you might not appreciate that right at this moment. Believe me there is no shortage of incredible women over here.
China Shark Mike
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Carl, I'm sorry to hear this and I want to tell you that I also had gone through this, her father said he didn't want a nonChinese in his family and she was 39 years old, but it worked out for me, the old man did me a huge favor, I had met a very beautiful woman that I have married and now we are expecting a baby so everything has worked out for me as I am sure it will work out for you, just don't give up, take the time to heal, then try again brother. :D
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What a Brotherhood , I think sometimes ... misfortune's of certain Member's , really bring us all closer together as a " Special Family " . One of a kind ! I myself , must thank you all , for all the support the not so lucky brother's here receive . It really makes me proud to be part of such wonderful Forum . I'm sure I can speak for all the Mod's here , including Martin and Ronan .
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Thanks Brothers... you guys are a great group. I'm still friends with Li, so maybe I can find out a little more about what transpired when she met with her parents about us. I'd like to find out if there is any way to change their minds - especially considering they have never met me. For that matter, I've not even met Li yet, however I do think she is pretty special. I guess if we are not to have a closer relationship, I should be proud to have her as a friend.
Carl
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Last year at this time of year I was in Nanchong, Sichuan China and had been there for 3 days when a terrible thing happened, it woke me and the woman I was seeing at that time, it was the quakes that hit China on May 12, 2008, I spent the next 2 weeks trying to help where I could, I seen things that will haunt me for the rest of my life and some of the bravest acts I have ever seen one person do for another, I will never forget these people, my wife and I have an alter set up in rememberance of them along side of the one we have for her Mother and my Father, but this time of year I am finding out is very painful for me.
Sorry, I had to tell someone what I am feeling inside and the brotherhood seemed to be the place, I could not bring myself to go to work today, I can't keep my mind on what I need to do there, matbe tomorrow, again I am sorry and thank you.
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Hi Micheal. Yesterday I took the time to look through hundreds of photos regarding the quake. It amazes me that the people are so resilient. The hardest photos to see were the ones of parents grieving over the bodies of their children... that hurts to even see those photos... I cannot imagine the pain those parents suffered. My heart goes out to them.
Carl
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Carl....what are your feelings for this girl? Is there a chance that you could win her parents over? You could possibly send gifts to them...or even write a letter to them. It is just a thought. I am not saying it will work, but maybe it is worth the fight.
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When we were there, I heard a little girl ask a doctor if he could put her leg back on because she wanted to be able to help her Mama when she is older, the little girl didn't know I helped put her Mama in a body bag not 10 minutes earlier, when the doctor told her about her Mama she said she wanted to help the other kids, this was the bravest thing I have ever seen or heard in my life, and it made me feel very proud for this little one and at the same time sad, I still dream of her and I still have nightmares of that time, I don't think I will ever forget.
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Michael,
I feel for you my friend, I've seen similar things.I made it into Cambodia just after the Vietnamese ousted pol pot and also the Karen refugee camps in Burma.They are a fine people, the Karen.
The best advice I was given is that you absolutely should not forget theses things. You were a "witness" to tragedy and hope, it's a rare insight and it cuts deep.Changes a man. It's your job now to tell other people about this. The telling give honour,respect and remembrance to those involved,as well as bringing us all closer together regardless of race or religion. If you don't talk about this who will ever know? How many people saw the bravery of that little girl? I think you will have moved a few hearts here with the telling, and it makes us all a little more human. That's a positive thing!
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Michael , I feel with you . I love China and it's People . I also was in Shanghai (07 May to 18 May ) when it happened , but did not feel it physically , but I am sure felt it in my Heart . It still can bring me to tears , thinking of those poor children and what the Parent's had to deal with then and still are . What is worse , loose a child of your's or a child loose a parent / parent's ? There is NO hurt deeper than this . And of course the way it came to be , because of sloopy building practises .
Aweful !!! Will Mankind ever learn , before somebody has to Die ?
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Not me, but Mr. Su
To ensure she was the sole benefactor of all his property in case of mishaps, a just-married Chinese woman wanted her husband to write his will, sign an agreement and buy insurance. After he was married to the woman for only a month, she forced him to leave all his assets to her and help her apply for permanent residence in Singapore. She even used his name to secretly open a massage parlour, which displeased him greatly. I'm worried that if I continue to be with her, I may be pushed to violate the law.
Mr Su is a factory operator, and this is his second marriage. He met his current wife in China in 2006. "She was working at a massage parlour in China, and had approached me on the street with massage services. We even went to a hotel together after that" According to Mr Su, he was mesmerised by her beauty, and would visit her in Chinatown every week.
The two grew intimate!
His Chinese wife then suggested that they register their marriage, and both decided on September .He did not expect her to show her true colours just one month into their marriage. "She even insisted that I put her name as well as her daughter's in the housing deed. I regret marrying her," Mr Su expressed.
After Mr Su left home, he wrote a 26-page diary on his dissatisfaction with his wife.
According to him, his wife had stated seven presumptuous demands:
1. Pressurising him to will and state that his wife and daughter will be the only benefactors.
2. The house must include her name, as well as the daughter's. Any member of his family, including his ex-wife and children, are not allowed into the house.
3. Sign an agreement and promise her the ownership of the house.
4. Apply permanent residence for her as soon as possible.
5. Buy insurance to let her be the benefactor.
6. Allowing her to keep the marriage certificate.
7. Insists that he submits his identity card and CPF account number to authorise the opening of the massage parlour.
Mr Su noted that his wife had used his name and documents to open a massage parlour, and hired female masseuses without work permits.
When he found out about her illegal acts, she threatened him with a knife.
"Luckily, our argument was overheard by the neighbours, and they came just in time to stop us," Mr Su said. Ever since this incident, Mr Su reported that he was physically abused by his wife every night, resulting in a physical and mental breakdown.
In a rare streak of luck, Mr Su won the lottery four times in a year, winning over $100,000, but this sum had been squandered by his wife, he said. To sustain her infinite demands, he even applied for a credit card and a personal loan for his wife. As a result, he was now burdened with debts.
He fears going home
After the knife threatening episode, Mr Su was afraid to go home and had been living with his mother.
I promised her initially that I would accompany her to China to visit her relatives in December, but after all these abuse, my family persuaded me not to go,just in case. Regretting his marriage, Mr Su wants a divorce as soon as possible. But because of the short period of time we have been married, my request for divorce was rejected. Instead, arrangement was made for us to see a marriage counsellor.
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Great story Paul , thanks .
I will , and have already given my Wife mosly everything I own , if I was to die tomorrow ( God forbid ) , but out of Love ... not because of a threat . All that would get her is a kick of a size "11" shoe in the behind out the door .
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All that would get her is a kick of a size "11" shoe in the behind out the door.
I have to agree. I'll add what kind of whip is he?
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I dont have these issues mine has no father for 10 years her mother has seen my pictures and appears i passed all the tests... to be married in July
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lmao i spoke to soon on this post huh :(.. oh well