China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: Danny on September 20, 2009, 07:06:42 am
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Just a note of thanks to all the kind words and help I have received from my friends on this website.
I have been very quiet here over the past month or so. I apologise for this.
I have tried to avoid letting my hopes and wishes get out of hand, and avoiding this forum helped me from getting to obsessed with the possibility of this relationship working out, or not working out.
I have had three good days, doing things together. I have really had a lovely time, travelling around Zhuhai with her.
Last night she said that she wasn't able to see me today. That was a disappointment but as we say here, different country, different culture. It might well mean nothing at all, but it might mean things are not going very well. If that's what it means, then so be it.
However if I have learned anything from here, quiet patience is often the best course of action.
I did not leave with much hope for this relationship. I still don't, regardless of what is written in her letters.
This morning I wrote her a letter through chnlove. I wanted there to be no misunderstanding about what I hoped for from the relationship. I wanted it to be translated, so I wouldn't be fumbling around for words. Three terms of Mandarin is still not enough to have a serious conversation.
I told her in this letter that I wished to marry her, but that I understood that she may not yet made up her mind that that is what she wishes. I told her that while I was happy to wait patiently until she did make up her mind, for several years if needs be, I asked her her to let me know if she no longer believes that this is a realistic possibility.
I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to say. We have been writing and talking to each other on the phone for a year, and this is my second visit. We have talked about marriage and how it might work and so I don't think it is presumptious for me to talk this way.
Some people may disagree with what I have done, but I don't care. I have invested a year of my life in this relationship. She is a terribly important person to me and whether or not she wishes to marry me, she always has my respect and admiration.
Whether it's a success or not, I have done what I thought was the right thing to do. When I have made mistakes in the relationship I have been quick to apologise and have really tried to learn from my mistakes.
She is the kind of person that makes me want to be a better person. She is a good and calm person, and that is someone worth waiting for.
To be honest, sometimes I wish it would just be over. It has been a hard year with her. Many ups and downs.
However I have learned a whole lot in that year, about myself and about relationships.
I know even if this relationship doesn't work out, I have learned things about what it takes to make a relationship work in the future.
I know that true happiness is not found from outside yourself - even a beautiful Chinese wife. Circumstances and situations change, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. For all of us, it is the way we comes to terms with these facts that will determine whether or not we are peaceful and calm and happy.
There are parts of my life which I really need to make a big improvement in. I have come a long way from what I was, but I still have a long way to go to be the man I wish to be.
I sometimes tell my woman, that even if things don't work out between us, that when I am an old man, I will remember how lovely she looked, and how incredibly lucky I was to have sat across from her, and looked at her smiling face.
I have enjoyed taking my daughter with me. My woman has been very considerate towards my daughter and they have done the sort of things she misses since my wife passed away, for example, having her hair done, and her feet massaged.
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Just a note of thanks to all the kind words and help I have received from my friends on this website.
I have been very quiet here over the past month or so. I apologise for this.
I have tried to avoid letting my hopes and wishes get out of hand, and avoiding this forum helped me from getting to obsessed with the possibility of this relationship working out, or not working out.
I have had three good days, doing things together. I have really had a lovely time, travelling around Zhuhai with her.
Last night she said that she wasn't able to see me today. That was a disappointment but as we say here, different country, different culture. It might well mean nothing at all, but it might mean things are not going very well. If that's what it means, then so be it.
However if I have learned anything from here, quiet patience is often the best course of action.
I did not leave with much hope for this relationship. I still don't, regardless of what is written in her letters.
This morning I wrote her a letter through chnlove. I wanted there to be no misunderstanding about what I hoped for from the relationship. I wanted it to be translated, so I wouldn't be fumbling around for words. Three terms of Mandarin is still not enough to have a serious conversation.
I told her in this letter that I wished to marry her, but that I understood that she may not yet made up her mind that that is what she wishes. I told her that while I was happy to wait patiently until she did make up her mind, for several years if needs be, I asked her her to let me know if she no longer believes that this is a realistic possibility.
I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to say. We have been writing and talking to each other on the phone for a year, and this is my second visit. We have talked about marriage and how it might work and so I don't think it is presumptious for me to talk this way.
Some people may disagree with what I have done, but I don't care. I have invested a year of my life in this relationship. She is a terribly important person to me and whether or not she wishes to marry me, she always has my respect and admiration.
Whether it's a success or not, I have done what I thought was the right thing to do. When I have made mistakes in the relationship I have been quick to apologise and have really tried to learn from my mistakes.
She is the kind of person that makes me want to be a better person. She is a good and calm person, and that is someone worth waiting for.
To be honest, sometimes I wish it would just be over. It has been a hard year with her. Many ups and downs.
However I have learned a whole lot in that year, about myself and about relationships.
I know even if this relationship doesn't work out, I have learned things about what it takes to make a relationship work in the future.
I know that true happiness is not found from outside yourself - even a beautiful Chinese wife. Circumstances and situations change, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. For all of us, it is the way we comes to terms with these facts that will determine whether or not we are peaceful and calm and happy.
There are parts of my life which I really need to make a big improvement in. I have come a long way from what I was, but I still have a long way to go to be the man I wish to be.
I sometimes tell my woman, that even if things don't work out between us, that when I am an old man, I will remember how lovely she looked, and how incredibly lucky I was to have sat across from her, and looked at her smiling face.
I have enjoyed taking my daughter with me. My woman has been very considerate towards my daughter and they have done the sort of things she misses since my wife passed away, for example, having her hair done, and her feet massaged.
Danny
Sometimes it is better to take a step back, to look and or move forward...
All it could mean is that 'she' had to do something, as you say, different country, different culture, Remember 'you' two are NOT married so she MAY not want to tell you everything... But it is good that you have this in the back of your mind.
Personally I think if you had got on one knee with a ring, there would be no understanding, but it is right that you say, 'as' long as you 'think' you have done the right thing then so be it mate.
Through the year that you have been in contact, I think she has 'earned' your respect. You will have learned many things not only about China, but also about Chinese ladies if it doesn't work out...However I am sure that this one will.
All the best mate and keep us updated...:icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny,
As you say it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your letter, or about the way you feel about your relationship. Your the one that has to live your life, so live it the way you feel comfortable.
You may be picking up the wrong messages from your lady there, and this maybe because of your daughter being present. Your lady may be holding back her true feelings. I don't know how much time you are spending with your lady as a couple, and not as a threesome, it does make a difference Danny... So if there is any possibility of increasing your time together with her, i think that would be a good idea.
I say that, because you seem to be thinking that it's not going as well as you hoped, and i think that not being able to be more intimate (no, i don't mean anything sexual, but i wouldn't exclude it either ...haha!!) with her, could be the reason.
Your a nice and a decent guy Danny, So i hope everything turns out the way you want it too. You may have to put a little more effort into your relationship, maybe along the lines of Mikes way of thinking, you never know, it might even help you to become that man, you say you want to be too!!
On a lighter note, ....i hope your not relying on those natural yogurts to keep those nasty bugs away??...hahha!!
I'm sure that along with myself, everyone here is rooting for you, and want another success story flying back to Aussie with you... Enjoy yourself, and all the very best Danny...
David....
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Danny
You have done a lot of the "hard yards" over the past year. You are being totally honest with her, and yourself.
I cant think of a better preparation...win , lose, or draw...you should be congratulated
But I am keeping everything crossed for you.....good luck
DavidE
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Danny, all I can say is Good luck and best wishes :icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny good luck and best wishes.You came you saw you gave it a hell of a try.Now hopefully the lady can see this.And it will hopefully work out for you and her.
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Crossing fingers for ya Danny. Wishing you many good blessings.
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Greetings Brothers,
As has been said Danny hang in there and dont let her walk away without a fight. Perhaps as David 5o suggests you may need to set aside some time for the two of you to be alone.
As you know I just returned myslef and while Zhen and I were really comfortable around our translator, there was definitely a noticable difference after Zie left and it was just Zhen and I . Perhaps thats all you need is more face to face with just the two of you. Its worth a shot. Also just because your lady had other things to do on that day may mean absolutely nothing other than what she said, she had other things to do.
We must remember that we are affecting their day to day life with our presence there and sometimes they may have things scheduled ahead of time that must be done. If it stretches into more than one day well thats something else but communication is the only way to find out.
Talk to her as much as you can and I am sure you will be fine.
We are all rooting for you brother, good luck
Regards,
Zhen and Brain
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Danny,
I am rooting for you too; even if you aren't trying my yogurt method.
Shaun
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Danny, I kinda know how you feel, I have been in a similar situation with my girl, hell, it is not easy at times, and many of us really know what that means, but like the other brothers have already stated, HANG IN THERE. I almost want to give up once, but I fought, it wasn't easy, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I did it and you can too. I am very happy that I hung in there, because that women I meet in China is now my wife, and has been for over a year now. So you see anything could happen. The brothers are here for you and we all wish you the very best and hope all goes well with you and your lady.
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Danny,
Do not fret, stop worrying. You are prepared. Simply be you - and things will work out.
The most important this is that you have learned a lot about you - armed with this type of insight - there is really not much you can not do - so be you!
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Danny,
nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have put a lot into this and you have my admiration for it. As David said more face to face time can only help, They do have there own lives to run and with it the pressures that brings. I would not read too much into it. She must know the seriousness of your commitment and this can only work in your favor. You've come this far so hang in there.Try to relax into it. I hope it all works out for all three of you.:icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny, as many Brothers here say, I wish you all the best with your lady. Try to see the good vibes in your relation and that all you investigated into is meant to be positive ;)
Keep us updated :)
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Dear One and All
What a lovely surprise to read all this good advice and receive all these kind wishes. It really does humble me. I'll sleep on the suggestions and let you know what happens next.
Anyhow today (Monday) we spent the day together today, the three of us. She took the whole day off work to be with me today and I really appreciate that.
She told me today that yesterday (Sunday) she had to do something to help her brother's business, to meet with some of his business partners. That seems fair enough to me. Once again the 24 hour rule saves another brother from doing or saying something stupid.
It is lovely to be taken through the country, looking at the sites . . . you feel so incredibly looked after. I feel so spoiled by her, it's just really good at the moment.
Seeing the countryside gives you a really different look at life in China, away from the big cities. It sure is a different world out in the country. It's no wonder young people flock to the city - life out in the country is real hard by comparison.
One of the highlights was a meal we shared at a seaside restaurant. We had a private room together. After dinner we just sat together the three of us, and we talked for about an hour together, about our lives and hopes and past. It was really warm and affectionate and at that time I think was the first time we started to feel comfortable and relaxed about being together.
You will laugh to know how we spent the afternoon. We spent it looking at apartments together. I didn't know what to make of all this so I just had a little chuckle to myself (thinking, what kind of a date is this?). She kept asking me what I thought about this apartment or that one.
I have to confess the thought of living there, is sure tempting. Of course it's not something I can do in the short or even medium term, but it's something I can work towards in the longer term, say when I retire. The thought of living in one of these apartments, looking out into the ocean with her, it sure is a sweet idea to roll around my mind.
Our visits to the apartments, like everything else - it might mean something or it might mean nothing at all. I just smile to myself and enjoy the journey with her.
As an aside luxury apartments in Zhuhai are just some of the most tasteless and kitsch things I have ever seen. It is extraordinary how for the newly rich, everything needs to be coated in gold and/or glitter. Some things never change. Some of the amazing things I've seen today: an enourmous gold grandfather clock, with every piece covered in platinum and gold plate, monstrous chandeliers in every room, light fittings with feather trim, golden lights that turn slowly around, waterfalls in the dining rooms . . . ah well, good luck to them, and as the saying goes, to each their own.
My daughter was exhausted by the end of the day, and so my good woman dropped us back at the hotel, and my daughter and I dozed for a couple of hours. After I got out of the car I walked to the door of the hotel, and then I looked back, and she was still there, and I got a big smile and a wave, and I thought to myself, maybe . . .
It is early evening now. At the moment we are at a big internet cafe - around 200 computers in a single room. We will have dinner and then call it a night.
I told her that I had sent her a letter and checking at the chnlove website I know it has been delivered. I plan to catch up with my good woman tomorrow night, again with my daughter. It will be interesting to see what kind of reply I receive, or whether the way she relates to me changes as a result of what I have said to her in my letter.
My relationship with my daughter has really improved while we've been away. She is starting to grow into a kind and thoughtful person. For anyone who has raised a teenager, you really do wonder how they will turn out, if they will ever grow up properly. You need times like this to give you hope for the future.
Danny
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Danny,
Talking about the luxury apartments, ...That basically what happens when you get ''New Money'' That's how the new rich as you call them, see rich people in their minds. The more extravagant, gordy, tasteless, and monstrous the better!! ...haha!!
I watched a documentary of MJ and his dreamland estate (or what ever he called it). Now his house furnishings were totally as you describe, but then some, his idea of taste was even more ghastly and tasteless.
Showed you him going round an exclusive house furnishings accessory store too, buying stuff for his mansion. To me the store was selling stuff you'd take to a boot sale to get rid of it! Anyway after 45 mins in this one shop, he had splashed out $250000, on the most tasteless junk you can imagine, like pots, vases, table lights, picture frames etc, etc!! all absolute JUNK!!
Seems that the Chinese newly rich are going down the same path, ...maybe even saw the same documentary as i did, and now want to copy him!!! ...haha!!
David....
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Hi Danny
So maybe things are going well. Well it is good to know that is the reason you have not rung me again. I am back in Zhuhai.
Have you been to my apartment. kitsch indeed. Gold plated father christmas never gets put away!!!I am in Zhuhai until Friday morning then I am off to Zhongshan and back here Sunday.
'David50- extravagant, gordy, tasteless, and monstrous the better!! ...haha!! ' And you David your talking about my women again.
Willy
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My relationship with my daughter has really improved while we've been away. She is starting to grow into a kind and thoughtful person. For anyone who has raised a teenager, you really do wonder how they will turn out, if they will ever grow up properly. You need times like this to give you hope for the future.
Danny
Well having met you and your daughter last night you have done a good job there mate. She really supports what you are going through to find her a new stepmother.
Yes you can be proud of her.
Willy
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Willy
Thanks for being there for me last night. It was good to have someone to talk to. I am very sorry I wasn't much company. I wasn't thinking straight at all. I was however very fortunate to have you and my daughter with me at this time.
One and All
Just an update to let you know how it all ended up.
My good woman received my EMF mail on Monday night, in which I talked about what I hoped from the relationship. We agreed to possibly catch up at 6pm on Tuesday night. I rang her at 7pm and then she said she was still not able to see me. She said she would ring me later in the night. Then at 9pm she called, while I was drinking with Willy. At about 10pm she called me on the telephone. She had been waiting in the hotel foyer for 40 minutes. So I rushed down to see her. So I came down and saw her. God what a vision of loveliness. She was dressed beautifully, she had done her make-up and her hair was all glossy and wonderful. Even at that moment I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. I got in the car. We talked for a little. Then I said I suppose we really need to talk about us. She then told me that she was not able to continue with the relationship. The two main reasons were that her son did not wish to travel to another country and that it was difficult for us to communicate. I said that I really appreciated her telling me this and that I wished to thank her for the wonderful time I had had with her over the past year, and on this holiday in particular. So it was over in a few minutes.
There was one more thing, which made me laugh. She said that while she was not able to continue with the relationship, she said that there are many Chinese women who are interested in marrying a foreign man and she wished to introduce me to some of them. It was funny because I imagine that for her, by making this offer she was showing some consideration for me. For me, however, it was the last thing on my mind. This reminded me of Ronan's experience. I thanked her for this kind offer, and told her I was not able to accept her offer at this time.
In some ways it is a good thing that it is over.
She is a successful doctor here and I don't think I ever had a satisfactory solution for the problem of what she would do when she moved over here - I have discussed this with Aussie David in another post. I don't think I ever had a solution for what was to become of her son - I don't think the father was going to agree to his son leaving the country and it is a terribly hard thing for a mother to leave their only child. It was always hard for us to speak - it was going to be years until we could have a proper conversation in either English or Chinese.
I always told her that I would prefer that we didn't proceed with the relationship if she thought it was going to end up unhappily for her. It is possible to persuade and trick people into agreeing to things they really don't wish to do, like a dishonest second hand car salesman, for example. I am glad she decided that it wasn't the right thing for her, and that I did not attempt to change her mind.
Here are a few lessons from my experience which I will write down for whoever might benefit from such advice.
1. If a relationship is not giving you want at the beginning (whatever the reasons are) . . . if it's not making you really happy, then it's better to end it early. It's kinder on yourself and your woman to end relationships that don't look promising as soon as possible. Don't throw good money (as a metaphor for your love, time and money too) after bad.
2. The more your woman is attached to her life in China (ie in terms of career, assets, friends, children, etc) the less likely she is going to want to throw them up for the uncertain prospects of a marriage with a foreigner.
3. Most of your romantic relationships are going to fail, but you don't know which one will finally succeed, so you need to treat each one like it's going to succeed.
All things together I consider this relationship a success rather than a failure. It was one of the things that kept me going in the dark days after my wife passed away. I learned a lot about myself. I acted, for the most part, in a decent and considerate way. It nearly happened and so I was lucky to be part of it all.
Today I am choked with sadness, but this will pass.
Thanks again for the support of my friends here.
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Hi Danny
I enjoyed your company and the drink last night but of course not the ending that came about. No problem in you rushing off like you did - at least you got dressed up for her! Wonder what she was thinking while you were drinking with me whilst she was patiently waiting for you!
I was just prising out your secrets from your Emma when you came to McDonalds.
You already know that I was sorry to hear your update but I will be here until Friday morning if your are in need of another beer or two or six. I am sure my maid can rustle up some extra food if you wanted to eat.
Its that damn coffee shop syndrome. They tell you they will meet to take you for coffee and bang they hit you with the brush off. You know i have had two relationships end here after being invited to go for coffee. So watch out for the caffeine brothers it can be fatal for relationships.
Maybe we will meet up again before you go back.
What i do not get is that they always use the 'we cannot communicate' reason for breakdowns. How many foreigners are fluent in Chinese languages?
Willy
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Danny I'm sorry to here it didn't work out for you.Go hang out with your daughter and Willy try to enjoy the rest of your stay in Zhuhai.
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Danny, I am not going to tell you the usually, "I'm sorry to hear that" talk. Hey, you gave it your best shot. You had some good moments together, but quite frankly it is her lost. Danny your lady is out there somewhere waiting for you, I know you are not ready at the moment to just jump back in there, but when you are ready I am confident that you will find the right lady.
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Danny , remember the 24 hour rule , do not know where you are staying but all the good hotels usually have very nice minders so parents can go out ,You may find a young lady that would love to practice English with your daughter , so have a night out with Willy , and do not waste your time over there , regards Robert .
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Danny, what a bummer mate, I am so sorry brother, especially since you put a long time into this....
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Danny,
Sorry to hear about this disappointment for you. Take a break enjoy some time with your daughter and re-join the quest we all share in.
Shaun
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Sad day, Danny....but you can hold your head high...you were dinkum all through.
....get back on the horse....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
DavidE
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Danny, at least you tried, do like the others are saying and while there why not check out some other ladies, at least then you and she will have met in person at the start and then learn more in EMF's and QQ or what ever you wish to use but, at least the first face to face will be over with, no scams !
Good luck and best wishes in what ever you do Danny.
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Danny, that's good advice from MLM, you can make some good use of you being in China, ...apart from enjoying the rest of your trip as a holiday. That face to face is so important, as chemistry is always going to be the deciding factor. better to get that out of the way as soon as possible.
The other thing, as MLM pointed out, you can get to start off with all the communication avenues available to you from the off. That alone will cut your expenditure down to a minimum. You could also ask the agency to introduce you to ladies that have some English knowledge, ...believe me Danny, that will be a bonus beyond your realisation...
So the advise i'd give to you right now, ...Is motivate yourself, to making this trip work for you, It could turn out the best thing you ever did for your future. And getting a holiday too, ....Now how bad is that?? ..lol!!
David....
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Thank you all for the kind regards and sympathy. This is really a special place.
I am leaving Zhuhai tomorrow. There is nothing to hold me here anymore (apart from Willy, and he's just not my type . . . if he asks where I've gone, tell him we need to catch up for a coffee sometime soon *laughs*).
I got a call from my good woman this afternoon. She said that she was sorry that we were leaving earlier than planned because she said that she had ordered a birthday cake for me (my birthday is on Friday) and she said that she had hoped to celebrate it with me.
She said that she wished to speak to me and that she wished to explain why she had made the decision she had. She brought along her translator, from her agency with her. It was great to actually meet the translator and see it was someone who took it (as far as I can tell) quite seriously. My woman and her translator seemed to be really close and there was clearly a great deal of affection for each other. That's a really good thing for me at the end of the relationship because it means for me that there is pretty high likelihood that the letters were translated faithfully, as well as she was able.
Sometimes things are just as they are. We talked about the things that she worried about in coming to Australia, and it seems to me she had given the matter serious thought. Sure I am very disappointed, but it's not like some of the brothers here have gone through (eg they were writing to a phantom, or the woman hadn't taken any of what had gone on with any seriousness). I believe I have her respect and she of course has mine.
It is hard to read the faces of Chinese women, but it seemed to me that she was very sad about the way things had turned out. I take no pleasure in that. I'm real sad too.
One strange request from her was that from now on that we write to each other "as friends", directly using her personal email address. As she said, not through chnlove anymore. I don't know what that is about, but it would be clutching at straws to think anything will come of this. So I agreed and left it at that. I have always thought that "something" is better than "nothing" and so long as she doesn't become for me an object of hopeless longing, then having her as a friend is worth holding on to.
In relation to what happens next . . . this sounds really shallow after everything I have written before. But I am planning to move on. I could just lay down and die, but what's the point of that?
I have had a Chinese friend from Wuhan that I have been writing to in a friendly fashion for quite some time. I thought we both understood that it was nothing more than a friendship. However when she heard that I was going to Zhuhai to visit my good woman my Wuhan friend nearly had a fit. Clearly there was a misunderstanding between us. We sorted that out and we have continued to write to each other as friends. However I think I will take a detour to Wuhan on my way home (does a trip to Wuhan in a journey from Zhuhai to Melbourne count as detour? . . . probably not *laughs*). She is very pleased that I am planning to visit her and so who knows what will come of this?
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Sorry to see you going Danny, not even an invitation to take me for coffee!!! Even worse i have not even been dumped by text this time!! Not your type indeed.
Don't worry about missing that next pint mate maybe I will be meeting you again in the not too distant future. In the meantime I will drink your health, wealth and good fortune in a few Tsingtaon and hope that your future excursions into China will be as fruitful and as fulfilling as mine have been.
I am so glad you have decided to go to Wuhan - you never know where a few days there will bring. Where the hell is Wuhan. I am a bit insular - i dont believe China exists outside of Guangdong!!!!
Anyway best of luck mate and keep in touch and say cheerio to Emma for me.
Willy
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she said, not through chnlove anymore. I don't know what that is about, but it would be clutching at straws to think anything will come of this. So I agreed and left it at that.
She has decided to not leave China, so she's withdrawing on Chnlove. Why pay for something your not going to use?
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The way i see it Vince she doesn't want Danny to talk with her through Chnlove...
Maybe there is a 'Straw' here for Danny to 'Clutch'...could it be mate that she 'wants' other contact through other means?? Without the 'cost' to you, which would also be 'the cost of her getting married to you'???
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Danny...It is really not that easy to find the right words. But you know better than anyone else it wouldnt be easy to find our piece of dream. Some sooner some later but i am sure all of us will find it one day or other so long as we hang on to it. Sorry to hear that my friend. But dont let it get you down! Best of luck with your trip to Wuhan!
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Danny, don't let this get you down, before I joined Chnlove I had been looking for two years for my mate, thought I found her once on Chnlove but we are friends now, while I was in ChinaI had met some one there but that didn't work out also, when I arrived home I met my Zhou here and you know the rest.
don't give up mate, you never know when or where you will meet her, just know she is out there waiting for you to find her.
Good luck and best wishes Dan.
Mike
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I would say a bit as MLM says, in fact. My situation actually is a bit "special", as I actually see one lady on 3 in Shanghai, and that I still didn't meet Lyian in Guangzhou. But there's something with Dora in Shanghai, and I need to know where it can go... So I need to see her again. if things would not be good with Lyian, so, I'd know what to do. but if things would be good, so, I'd have to know what to do, also...
Danny, know that I can (as many other brothers) understand your story, and how it ended.
I just wish you to find your righteous lady, even if that time wasn't arrived, there still are lot of other times to find the Righteous one for you ;)
About "not through CHNLOVE anymore", well, I would say that she doesn't want to talk to you via this service anymore, but maybe she is ok if you know how to contact her in any other way (mail adress)
Maybe is she "decieved" because of CHNLOVE, too, but I can not be sure of it.
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Danny, good to hear that you are keeping the head up.
I have to be honest here, and I'm speaking from personal experience with my Ling 1, don't write to her after you get back home, it will just prolong the pain and keep the faint hope alive. With Ling 1 all it took was a hug emoticon in msn or a "your a nice man" to get the old feelings roaring back again and it was just foolish and unfair to Ling 2 as it brought doubts to my mind.
I think you need to move on with your life and just chalk this down to experience. While you keep in contact with her the feelings will never be allowed to fade away like they should and you'll find it hard to get romantically involved with another lady.
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Thanks for all the good advice.
I arrived in Wuhan a couple of days ago. What a couple of days it's been.
Before I tell my story I need to make it clear that YaYa and I are good friends. We have been writing on a daily basis for about nine months. It was always just friendly chatter, and to me, nothing more than that. So I know her very well. The first time I knew for sure that it meant a lot more to her was when I told her I was going to visit my friend in Zhuhai. So I know her very well already. She is 33 years of age, divorced with no kids, she's completing a Masters degree in Linguistics next month and speaks pretty good English.
When I arrived YaYa was at the airport waiting for me. I had told her that my plane was running late, but she said that she would come anyway, because it was a pleasure to wait for me. We arrived and I saw her there. It was lovely to see her. She had cold drinks for us and then she took us to central Wuhan.
When we arrived she had already booked the hotel room and her mother and father was there to greet me. As soon as we arrived they arranged for the restaurant to send food up to our room. So much food! *laughs*
Then YaYa and her friend, me and my daughter went for a walk together looking out at the shops. Then we went out for coffee and played cards and laughed till late in the night.
The next day she picked us up from the hotel room. She took us all around the sights in Wuhan, the crane tower and a buddhist temple.
Then we came back to a restaurant and had a wonderful meal with her whole family. It was such a lovely time. They bought a birthday cake for me and it was just a such a good time.
After that we went back to her parent's house. We felt so welcome. They are just so incredibly welcoming, warm and friendly. We learned how to play Mahjong and some other card games.
It was lovely to spend time with YaYa. She is such a gentle, kind and soft hearted person.
We were so spoiled over there. We did not spend one cent for the whole time we were there. Even though they are so poor, they paid for the hotel room, the taxis, the restaurant, the visits to the tourist sites. No matter how much I argued they would not accept my offer for anything.
I cannot honestly say I have fallen in love with her. But the fact of the matter is that she is just perfect. She is such a good and gentle person. She is sweet and kind and thoughtful. So soft spoken. She works hard and wants to be a primary school teacher. She looks lovely. I am pretty sure she would be ready to move to Australia. I cannot imagine that I would find a better wife. I suppose I could keep looking, but I can't imagine that I would find anyone that would ever be a better wife for me. It is stupid to always want to be with someone who is always out of reach, who is has so many reasons why it isn't going to happen. I should be with someone who wants to be with me, who wants to make me happy too.
I am a little worried the way I am doing this. Sometimes people fall head over heels in love and then think about the suitability of the object of their affection afterwards. In my case I think that I have found someone that loves me dearly, who would be wonderful to live my life with. I think the feelings will follow, as I start to spend time with her and get to know her more as something more than just a friend.
My daughter just loves her and her family. She had such a lovely time visiting and they made such a fuss of her.
I am planning to return to Wuhan in mid December.
I had a long, long, and very embarrassing talk with her father and mother about what my intentions were in relation to their daughter. I explained what I had in mind and I think what I said satisfied them. They both told me that YaYa is a good and kind person and that if we were to marry, they would support the match.
I think sometimes opportunities come your way and you have to take them when they're there. Life is short. There is still a long way ahead of us. So I don't think I am am rushing things. After I visit in December it is only fair that I decide then whether to proceed with this, or walk away. I think this is the right thing, but I will take one day at a time.
Danny
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Great read Danny and great patience. Good luck with the rest of the trip. It is always comforting when your children also enjoy the shared adventure.
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Now thats more like it danny someone who shows she cares for you,danny dont forget just some times things you want is stairing you right in your face,i wish you all the best mate oh yeah mum and dad and your daughter are happy about things got to be good bud.
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Hey Danny
I told you things may work out and there was you planning to waste previous time wandering around Zhuhai then go home! I am really pleased for you. You are a great guy and I forgive you for not taking me to the coffee shop but probably Yaya is a littler better looking than me.
In a few days you have met someone special, her parents approve and you will be hot footing it back here in a couple of months!!! Wow what a weekend. Maybe I will get to Wuhan - where ever that may be to say hello.
All the best and keep the Tsingtao flowing.
Willy
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Hey Danny its seems that it is time to stop thinking like a state employee and go with your heart , that small but totally inclusive posting tells all .
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Now thats more like it danny someone who shows she cares for you,danny dont forget just some times things you want is stairing you right in your face,i wish you all the best mate oh yeah mum and dad and your daughter are happy about things got to be good bud.
Well said Victor, thats it - nail on head, Danny she sounds exactly what we are all looking for to be honest. I strongly believe that the longest most successful relationships are based on a great friendship first and foremost.
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Danny,
What can I say that the others have not said.......... I don'tknow either :icon_biggrin:, but I will say this, you may still be thinking you need to think this through before you fall in love with Ya Ya, but guess what my friend, it sounds like your heart has already done this, do yourself a favor, stop thinking so much and follow your heart, or do you need to be smacked with what is stairing you in the face ( like Victor says ).
Man look at what is happening here, don't you think she has waited long enough, been put through enough waiting for you to see other women, don't you think you should at least let her know what is going on inside your head about her, like I said, your heart already knows, I'm not saying tell her you love her, all I'm saying is let her know you have feelings for her and you would like to see where this will go, give this woman some hope and if you would just let yourself go I'm sure you may find you do love her.
As some others here have said, you never know where you'll find love, but most times its under your nose,
Good luck danny and best wishes.
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Hi Danny! Love at first sight is not that important, although I would recommend you search your feelings and see if she can light a spark in your heart or not, and that will take some time. In any case, judging by the way her family welcomed and took care of you and your daughter, she thinks very highly of you.
The worst relationships I had were the one's where I fell in love really fast, I tend to miss the point and only discover things later, and the consequences usually hurt. At the same time, don't marry her because you think there is a good fit and it's convenient, she might be the best wife in the world, if you don't love her, things will go sour later on.
Good luck, and make sure your antennaes are set to receive any signals that your heart might be broadcasting!
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Greetings Brothers,
Danny, Let me see if I have this straight. You have been writing to Ya Ya for about nine months and have buiilt up a great friendship. She met you at the airport, took you to dinner with her family, you have been to their house and played games with them. Both her parents say they would approve of a marriage and your daughter thinks she is great.
You say that she is just perfect, she is loving, caring and everything you could possibly want in a wife. Your daughter loves her and everyhting so far has been perfect for you together.
I think MLM has hit it right smack on the head. The only thing that doesnt seem to think you are in love is your head. Your heart already knows, but your head is being practical and looking for proof. Well to some of us the romantic types like me you already know what you need to know. I am not saying to just blurt out a propsal, although you may be pleasantly surprised if you did, but what I am saying is if you think she loves you and that maybe you have feelings beyond friendship for her tell her how you feel what you think and what you would like to happen. See what she thinks feels and would like to happen and go from there.
If you both are in agreement or at least heading in the same direction, then perhaps your search is finally over and you have found the woman for the rest of your life. You will never know until you both discuss it. Dont wait until you return in December, find out now. Then once you both acknowledge the connection and the feelings you will see that they blossom really quickly and then in December who knows?
The greatest gift of your life could be sitting in front of you with those beautiful expressive loving almond eyes. Find out where you stand and you may just join the happiest guy in the world club! Its worth the chance to find out how she feels and if you tell her first she will be more open to revealing her true thoughts and wishes. Take a leap of faith and find out.
Best wishes and hopes that things work out great!!
Zhen and Brian
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Well said Brian, seconded...:icon_biggrin:
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But the fact of the matter is that she is just perfect. She is such a good and gentle person. She is sweet and kind and thoughtful. So soft spoken. She works hard and wants to be a primary school teacher. She looks lovely. I am pretty sure she would be ready to move to Australia. I cannot imagine that I would find a better wife. I suppose I could keep looking, but I can't imagine that I would find anyone that would ever be a better wife for me. It is stupid to always want to be with someone who is always out of reach, who is has so many reasons why it isn't going to happen. I should be with someone who wants to be with me, who wants to make me happy too.
My daughter just loves her and her family. She had such a lovely time visiting and they made such a fuss of her.
The guys already posted good advice. But I have to add....
Well... D'UH!? What do we have to do to get you to think right? Hit you in the head with a baseball bat?
A diamond is placed in front of you and your looking around it for the piece of glass? If you open your eyes you'll realize there is everything there you want. No hassles, No BS and the family approves already.
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Good advise from All!!
we often can't see what we want, when it's staring us in the face , because our stupid eyes are looking through it, trying to see something else that not real. Same thing with thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the wall, ...only to find it's the same grass but now with bald patches.....
Danny, go with this opportunity, Run with it, i have a strong feeling your not going to regret it. I'm pretty sure that you know that already yourself. Don't analyse it, Here is a real live woman that's standing in front of you, telling you that she wants nothing else but to be with You!! .....It just needs this man to say '' I want You too''
Go for this, with both your eyes wide open and your arms wide open. What you catch in those arms, your eyes will see and tell you, that you have a keeper....
David.....
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Danny you know it is time for the tough love speach.What the hell are you doing.Yaya has shown you great face.Her parents have shouwn you great face.I can't see what the holdup is here.Does she have 2 heads? or a husband?This women has wated for you for 9 months.Thats worth giving it a try if nothen else moves your febble mind.She was waiting for you with just a hope maybe you would come maybe you wouldn't.Damm dude It doesn't get any clearer then this
Like all the other members are telling you.You need to run with this one and hold on real tight.This is what we are all here looking for.And it drops right in your lap.How much better does it have to be for you.
Irishman is right about the woman doctor.The one you have ben writing to in Zhuhai.Drop her like she has leporsy.Its all ben said and done.And the only thing you are doing is giving yourself more grief.You came you saw twice and it didn't work.Time to move on.
Oh and where the hell are the pictures of the new women we are waiting.
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I just want to see photos of Ya Ya, or am I asking to much for now?
Oh and say Danny, whats going on, are you still visiting with Ya Ya or what?...............I'm dieing to know, its killing me not knowing.
Zhou says " you not stay at Ya Ya's, you fool ", sorry Danny but these women can be a little blunt at times.
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G'day cobber :icon_cheesygrin:
It seems very clear to us that Ya Ya would love to be much more than your friend...that goes for her family too !!!
But take a bit of time, dont jump in to a committment just to keep her happy...it's gotta be right for you too.
having said that, give her, and you some time now, and maybe it will all click into place.
If the chemistry does not work for you........be careful !
If the chemisry does work...then your search may be over :icon_cheesygrin:
DavidE
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Danny,
sorry I didn't read the full part of your story before posting my previous comment ... if you're anything like me then you're probably facing a hard nut to crack. The disappointment you've just had will probably make it hard for your feelings to show, you're still tuned to the other woman and that will take time to fade. I don't know what your calendar looks like or what your financial possibilities are, but I would tell Ya Ya the truth about what happened, and why you're not able to make a commitment just yet. Maybe planning a trip in a couple of months to see if there is chemistry between the two of you would be a better idea.
Aside from that, it seems that we often think that we can continue an EMF relationship "as friends" because we appreciate the content of the exchanges with Chinese women that have not sparked feelings in our heart. I'm in a similar situation right now, exchanging long emails with someone and it never got romantic. Yet when I told her I was coming she threw her entire schedule in the air to welcome me, take me around to visit any city that I would like, while making sure that we would not sleep in the same room, at least not initially ... she's a business translator so communicating with her is easy. There was not a single line of romance in our exchanges, but she is after a husband and not some cultural exchanges, I realize that very clearly now, before I thought she was just a little attracted by me and enjoyed talking with me, nothing more. So I feel like I deceived her, I should have stopped writing sooner, and now have to find the least painful way for her, because there is simply no attraction on my side.
I think there should be a list of commandments on this site somewhere, one of them being just that: If you won't marry her, stop writing to her as soon as you know that.
All the best in any case, and maybe Ya Ya can heal you a little and help you find your true self again.
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Well, well, well.
I forgot to refresh your story, Danny, but I have to agree with other Brothers.
I see in Ya Ya someone very nice with you, just be sure about it : I know nobody in my own life who would had come to the airport, waiting for me with fresh drinks, booked any hotel and having her father and mother waiting for you, too.
It seems anyway that she knew what she was doing. She know what she wants, it's you...
Just tell me how it feels to be like a sheep, waited by a wolve? :D (kidding ^^)
I think you can easily understand my sentence. You says she looks lovely, you give so many information about her way to be with you and about her family that, for sure, I don't know what kind of problems you would meet with her.
But... let's talk about the chemistry.
Do you think she's really beautiful for you? Wouldn't you know some more about her and her family if you had any opportunity?
Ya Ya seems anyway to be a woman with sensitive feelings and is a very nice woman. Believe me, all the things you say about her are only POSITIVE, so, what's wrong? Would you fear to hurt her if you would fall in love with her? Do you think she might could be as a toy and that you don't want to "play" with it carefully?
Please understand that "play" is not the righteous word, for sure, you need to know what you want about her.
We're here to help you and to give you any comments but it's based on what you jus give us as informations...
I'd say finally, that, whatever happens, it's your choice that you have in your hands and in your heart, not ours. Man can not decide for you, for sure.
One other thing : 9 months, it's very long, one year... well, I think Ya Ya did her best (or maybe didn't she in fact?) to show you how important you are for her.
So now...
It's up to you, Brother ;)
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So, we all agree Ya Ya is the right one for Danny. Well, Danny my boy, it over... just ask her and let us know when the wedding will happen. Now, Danny, we've all agreed and you do not have any say in this so suck it up and get to courting. :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Truthfully Danny, Maxx said it best. Ya Ya was dropped into your lap and it is the kind of thing we all are looking for so, you really ought to run with this and put the past in the past and move on. Remember it really doesn't matter what we say but open up your heart and let her shine into your heart. I think you will completely change and will fall madly in love with her. If not; give me her phone number and address and I will check her out... :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Good luck,
Shaun
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And don't ask why Danny, just take this opportunity in both hands.
Unlike the photoshop girls you are better looking in real life than your photo on here!
Do not let anyone take this the wrong way but when he is dreassed up and asks me for advice on the finishing touches then he is a real cool dude!!! (Mind you he may have been half pissed at the time.)
Willy
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Oh no, willy is changing, he is now looking at the male gender...hahaha:angel:
"...Unlike the photoshop girls you are better looking in real life than your photo on here!...":blush::blush:
ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Well I am back home again and doesn’t it feel fine!
The first thing I did when I got home was make a strong coffee and ate a moon cake (I received an enormous red box of them from YaYa’s dad as a present).
I rang YaYa and had a chat on the telephone just now and everything’s going fine. I also got some texts and an email from her today:
Really fit our Chinese old saying: seeing is believing. That's fantastic we are really seeing each other ahead schedule. I am so happy to see you, especially Emma, she should indeed more like her dear mother, very lovely, graceful, kind, never fails to please. I envy Emma loves you so much, she will soon help you or say a few words or gently stroke your shoulder to comfort you, when you are weak, such as we were in coffee bar playing cards at the first night. And the last day we you in front of the computer I found Emma was holding you and laughing. I never do like that with my father. hehehe, really something need us to learn from each other. These days our topic never leaving you and Emma, even downstairs people asked my parents: "Wow, even have foreigners in your family" my mother told them you are our relatives. Hehehe.
It is lovely to have all you people to talk this over with. I am very humbled by it all. I have good friends here at home, but the people I wished to talk it over with the people here, at this forum.
I am terribly nervous about my relationship with YaYa. YaYa has had a very difficult life. The man she married was a worthless individual. In the words of her parents, he is someone who is worse than a beggar. He threw her out of their home with almost nothing and she now lives with her parents.
When she had a child about ten years ago she almost died. It took her almost a year to receover this illness and during the recovery time she apprently signed away custody to her husband’s family. I don’t know what’s involved with this, but the matter seems to be beyond recall and it is now something she accepts cannot be changed, no matter what she wishes. It is something terribly sad for her as a mother
I would feel dreadful if I brought further unhappiness into her life. Of course I would not just marry her to try to help her out. But if my relationship with her brings us both happiness, then it seems to me to be something which is in accordance with the will of heaven.
When we went to the local Buddhist temple and I watched her pray. I did not need to ask what this was all about – I knew what she was praying about. I found it very moving.
I have no doubt the feelings of love and desire for YaYa will grow with time. When I rang and spoke to her just now, I felt all tingly and warm afterwards – I just think it’s a matter of time before I feel true love for her. I think the right feelings follow on from right action. I am sure if I continue to get to know her, things will develop naturally and love will grow.
I am still sort of numb from my second and final visit to Zhuhai. I think a clean break from this person will help – a lot. I have not heard from her since I left Zhuhai and that’s really good. I wish her all the best for the future, but it is best for all concerned for our relationship is over. To have anything at all to do with her now would be just ruinous. I have longed for her for a year and it has come to nothing. I asked her to marry me and she said no. There was plenty of opportunity for something to happen, but the fact of the matter it didn’t and now it is time to move on.
I am a little embarrassed to be starting something so serious so soon after what happened in Zhuhai. But the fact of the matter is that YaYa and her family pretty much know what happened. I sure got some close questioning about this matter while I was in Wuhan *laughs*
Her parents care for her so much. They are getting on in age and they want more than anything for her to be happy and loved and cared for. It is quite a responsibility, if it works out, knowing their hopes for her, and making sure it happens. As a father myself, I know what it is to hope for happy days ahead for your children.
If I have anything further to do with my Zhuhai woman I would be acting absolutely shamelessly. I just need to be careful about screwing up a relationship with someone who really cares about me, by messing around with someone who doesn’t care about me much at all.
I would be glad to post some photos in the next few days, when I get unpacked and organised.
Thank you for all the encouragement.
Danny
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Danny wake up Bro.If you are feeling all tingly and warm after you talk to Yaya on the phone,It says to me that you are well on your way.There is alot of time between now and your next trip.I think you should use that time to build the relationship with Yaya.
Don't be over thinking this.There is a women in China.Who thanks alot about you.I think I would go with Yaya you have met her.You liked what you seen.This is what it is all about.
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Hi Danny,
It's definitely best to cut all ties to Zhuhai, you'll heal faster, you might even sort of be over it in a couple of weeks. Talk to Ya Ya and feel tingly and warm ^_^ that's a good sign! She sounds like a great catch from what you describe, and having a nice and supportive family is a big bonus, you'll just need a good phone subsciption for the calls to China :D I mean for her when she moves over.
And concerning Ya Ya's comments about you and your daughter, it is not common at all that parents hug or kiss their children, even when they love each other they seem quite distant to us Westerners. My ex girlfriend gave her parents one single quick hug while we visited them, she hadn't seen them for over a year and adores them ...
Well pop those pictures on here so we can party ^_^ Welcome back home and loose the Zhuhai email adresses and everything else.
All the best!
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Danny, you laid down a line with YaYa that you didn't want to cross when pursuing the other. But now you have to step over that line to put it on the other side of you. Take your time and don't force it because you think you have to. It will all happen naturally as it should.
When my lady and I were writing after about six months, I came to realize... Crap, I'm in love with her? Funny thing was she did the same exact thing at the same time. She said it in a letter with the same surprise. It has grown stronger since. So don't think you have to. Let it grow by itself.
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Danny wrote ...
I am a little embarrassed to be starting something so serious so soon after what happened in Zhuhai. But the fact of the matter is that YaYa and her family pretty much know what happened.
Actually, you have a 'Best Friend' relationship with YaYa for 9 months now ... probably with lots of 'serious' substance in your letters. For her to stick by you till you figure out your love life is commendable.
Reminds me of those movies where the 'homely natural' lady waits patiently until her man finally figures out that he doesn't want the unattainable 'movie star' lady afterall. He finally realized that his female best friend back home is the one for him.
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Danny.
All good advise, coming from all directions for you. I don't think I've seen such a positive response to a situation that's developed in China.
So now it's all down to you Danny, the tingle and warmth inside you, is there already, It can only get better from here on ....Right!!
Anything and everything that can be said to you, already has!! There's a reason for everything, and whatever is meant to be, ....will be!! So just let things happen naturally between you. I think that by the time you take your next visit to China, you'll be going with a very clear purpose in mind, and it won't have anything to do with having a holiday/vacation.
This lady is Real, Danny she's definitely not a Maybe/Maybe not!! She's a Keeper!!
David....
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Danny,
Its sounds like a spark flew between you and Ya Ya when you met, and as far as your feeling this so soon after the mess in Zhuhai it only tells me that what you thought was love was in reality it might have been a powerful wishful thinking, we are happy you recognize the fact that there are feelings for Ya Ya and that you will make sure of them, to make sure that the feelings are love or could become love.
By the way, Zhou says your no fool :icon_biggrin:, good thing, you wouldn't want her angry with you, take my word for it :s.
Good luck Danny.
Mike & Zhou
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Danny,
Would you feel empty if she stopped writing you?
Would you check your email several times a day to see has she written to you?
If she didnt would you feel empty?
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"...By the way, Zhou says your no fool Icon_biggrin, good thing, you wouldn't want her angry with you, take my word for it Confused...."
Danny have to agree with the brothers here mate...
Anmd defo listen to MLM about Zhou...hahahaha:icon_biggrin:
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Well, Danny, everyone has just about said it all. You have found a good fortune Ya Ya. Good luck in discovering who Ya Ya is and the love you have for her. My it grow beyond your expectations.
Shaun
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Danny, I can understand how you feel. It is hard to go from being in love with one person, having your heart broken and then finding someone else in such a short time span. Just be true to yourself and you'll do fine. It'll take time to get over the lady in Zhuhai but now you have some awesome motivation. Lucky guy. I wish you all the best.
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Danny, I happy to see you have your head on straight but, I have found this in an other thread in which you wrote " My YaYa (from Wuhan) is looking forward to their national day ", I think this says enough for its self, don't you. :icon_biggrin:
Good luck and best wishes Danny,
Mike & Zhou
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I see you noticed that also Mike, sounds like maybe Danny is letting a little of his heart feel that warm and tingly sensation. Go with the flow Danny and enjoy every minute of it. Best of luck to you and like Maxx said she just dropped in your lap, and her patience is awesome
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Am just blown away by the last letter I received:
Dear Danny
Last night, I couldn't sleep as you will visit me at Mid-Dec, I think I had fallen in love when I saw your profile this early spring time, and so happy to meet you at your birthday, that's my milestone, firstly, I had a daughter and second, I met you in my life.
And I want you know, really I want to marry you soon, and have a baby, and raise him together if you would like get to marry me.
I had already told you I love Emma and you at that night when we were passing the crossroad.
Danny, I love you, I want to marry you.
You sure don't get a letter like this every day. A letter like this changes everything. I am just so happy.
Most of us only get a few lucky breaks in our life. This seems to be one of mine.
Sure I am going to take it one day at a time, and I'm going to take care to think carefully through it all. But at the same time, I really hope this works out. I am going to do my best to make her happy and make sure she never regrets what she has written to me tonight.
Photos, as promised.
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I am so pleased for you Danny , and the photo's are terrific , regards Robert and Ying .
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Danny,
Now what can anyone say to that!!!! Your not left with anything to the imagination as to how she feels about you. Now totally down to you, ....Oh, and don't you dare hurt this lady, this one don't deserve that from you......
I'll say it again, you'll be going to China mid December with a sole purpose in mind, and that will be to secure the bond you already have.... I reckon it won't be too long after December that you'll be going back again, only that time you'll be going back to Aussie a married man again!!!!!
Wishing you all the luck you can handle Danny, your a lucky man anyway hahaha!!
Just goes to show, you can fall into a pile of fresh cow pat, ....and still come up smelling of roses!! haha!!
David.....
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Danny,
Great letter, and great photos. I agree take it slow. Wait a couple of hours then make the plane reservation for tomorrow. Whatever you do don't let go, she's a keeper.
Shaun
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Danny what can i say well happy for you,about time some thing went right for you bud all the best mate.
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Danny,
Great letter, and great photos. I agree take it slow. Wait a couple of hours then make the plane reservation for tomorrow. Whatever you do don't let go, she's a keeper.
Shaun
Greetings Brothers,
Shaun I agree take it slow hehe you made me laugh out loud with that comment hehe.
Well Danny boy, I hear the pipes a calling...
not from glen to glen to be sure but from a wonderful beautiful lady in China.
Congratulations my friend I dont think it gets any better than what you have just received!! From here on out you have joined the ranks of the luckiest men alive, Welcome Brother!!
Regards, and best wishes to both of you from both of us
Zhen and Brian
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Mate
What can be added to what has been said...Get you ass over there, grab the lady, and have a wonderful life together...:icon_biggrin:
Congrats brother....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny,
What can I say but, Wow, this I think is safe to say that this woman really loves you, so I would wish you the best of luck for a firm grip, hold on to Ya Ya and don't let go, and as others have said boy did you step in it. :icon_cheesygrin:
??????????????????????????????????????????????????? :heart::icon_cheesygrin::heart:
Zhou & Mike
Just thought this fit with Danny and Ya Ya :icon_cheesygrin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8Vx6E26lFM&feature=quicklist
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Danny, thank you for sharing that, I'm not kidding, it brought a tear too my eye. I would be over the moon to say the least to have a letter like that.
She wants to be your girl, pull up your pants and get your ass to marrying this wonderful woman.
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Danny, I'm like Paddy right now, my screen is blurring up. Her declaration is beautiful and pure, I think she's found her true love in you. It's your turn now to find out if she is yours. I would be on the next plane to find out, regardless of the consequences.
Best wishes to you, don't leave her hanging in empty space, think but think fast.
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Just thought this fit with Danny and Ya Ya Icon_cheesygrin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8Vx6E26l...=quicklist
Very apt MM:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny
If you fell down a toilet...you'd come up clutching a 50 dollar note !!!!!!
Way to go mate....you deserve such a woman :):)
DavidE
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Ditto to what DavidE said!
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Damn that was awesome. I bet the only thing keeping your jaw from hitting the floor is that huge grin on your face. Congratulations! :icon_cool:
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Every cloud has a silver lining and that is some lining. When you came back to McDonalds that night you were so cut up. But I bet your face is a picture now. Emma looks pleased and so should you. You brought up one great girl and now your bringing another into your life.
Well even though this means no more beer with you I can let you off because I think you have found the one to bring you happiness. Zhuhai was a necessity - because without the Zhuhai experience you would not be where you are today.
Willy
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I can't be more happy for you Danny , then all of our brother's here . Hope you finally can put your search to rest and concentrate only on Ya Ya , her Family and your's .
Wishing you all the happiness that you can tolerate .:icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny,
I have just been reading your whole story. It is not easy to hold back the small tears. It is so touching. I think you have have found 1 of a million. Don't think, listen to your inside instead.
Live is to short for thinking to much about things, sometimes things just happen.
Wish you and YaYa all the best!
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So where did Danny disappear to?
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Probably CLOUD NINE....LOL:icon_biggrin::icon_biggrin:
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If I remember right I believe he is returning in December so he's probly working as much overtime as he can, you know to pay for the ring and the wedding and the honeymoon and the party and all, :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Ya -Ya , that can cost quite a bit . Haha
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So where did Danny disappear to?
Sorry I have been so rude.
I have been having such a lovely time. I am just in a dream at the moment.
Each day seems better than the one before.
This relationship is like day and night compared to the previous one.
As my daughter says, YaYa would do absolute anything for you. She always has time to talk to me on Skype, on email, on the telephone. We are having such a wonderful time.
It is so strange after such an awful year, to be loved so warmly and affectionately. I have to say, it is a very, very nice change.
YaYa and my mother had a long conversation on the telephone yesterday. It went really well. My mother said to me that from all the kind things YaYa was saying, she wasn't really sure that YaYa was talking about me, or someone else *laughs*
She mentioned in her last email that her parents were planning to go out and buy new blankets, in case we were to marry. I think to myself that anything that has to do with beds can only be a good thing *laughs*
Everything is going wonderfully and so thanks for keeping me in mind. I will float gently down to earth in the next week or so . . .
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Nice one danny really happy for you mate well for both of you all the best bud.
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What more can I say mate.
You really can believe in the Phoenix rising from the Ashes.
I am so pleased that everything is working well and I am just confirming that I have never been to Wuhan!!!
Willy
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What more can I say mate.
You really can believe in the Phoenix rising from the Ashes.
I am so pleased that everything is working well and I am just confirming that I have never been to Wuhan!!!
Willy
Thanks Willy.
I am glad to know that have not visited Wuhan. To be frank I was a little worried about the possibility that I was courting one of your cast-offs, but since you have not visited Wuhan, I don't think this is as much of a concern.
I have just been speaking with YaYa and her parents on the webcam. It is lovely to sit back and talk with good people. They are so friendly and welcoming.
I am visiting YaYa in December for three weeks. I would be just as happy to get married in December, but I think my parents and friends would go bananas if I married someone on the basis of a three day visit. So I am going to have a lovely holiday with YaYa and then if all goes well, then we will be married in February.
Her parents are working out the dates. It makes me smile how this is taken very seriously. I am happy for them to work this out.
I always remember one of Arnold's posts in which he wrote that the groom's job at a Chinese wedding (and probably, when I think about it, an Australia wedding too!) is firstly to pay, and secondly to sit under a tree and smoke (ie keep out of the way).
A wedding is a woman's day. They remember this day all their life long. I am going to take great care to make sure that it is something that is a happy memory for her.
Danny
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Danny,
Couldn't of happened to a nicer guy, really happy that it's all worked out for you.
It's true what they say, when one door closes to you, another one or two opens. Well it seems as you walked through one of the doors, and liked what you found. If i were you, i'd stick a wedge under that door, ...just to be sure it doesn't close behind you by mistake!! ...hahaha!!
Under normal circumstances, i'd be very much along the lines of your parents Danny. But sometimes, just sometimes, you know deep down inside, that this time there Wrong!! That this time is gonna be one of the best decisions you ever made about your future....
Best wishes and luck for the future Danny, ...for both of You!!!
David.....
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Wow, Willy has never been to Wuhan. I am a relieved man :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Congrat's Danny from Qing and Myself . I agree with David , it just feels good that it finally happened to you also . So happy for you .
If Willy's never been to Shanghai ... it doesn't matter to ME now ... he can have all the rest there now .:icon_cheesygrin:
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Danny to you and YaYa , all the best , now you will find the time just flys , what with emails and my Yahoo messenger and reading the different threads I have not even posted my trip update yet , but either Ying will be here for New Year or I will be back to ChongQing , talk later , regards Robert and Ying .
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Nice to hear that Danny.
Hope I am getting an invite to the wedding in February wherever Wuhan is. I will definately make the trip for that and maybe we may still fit in those lost pints.
Listen to how happy you are now - well what a difference a lay makes - whoops meant what a difference a day makes. :angel:
Willy
Oi and I dont have cast offs - I have 'recently vacated' ladies.
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It's gonna fall off Willy.....lol
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Wow, Willy has never been to Wuhan. I am a relieved man :icon_cheesygrin:.
and he has never been to Qingdao either, .... so that is a relief to many more of us
:icon_cheesygrin:
Qingdao, Shanghai, Wuhan no problem - your all safe as they are a mystery to me - I may end up at all of your weddings though!!
I always cried at weddings - not that I was happy for the couple - just that I used to be pissed off that someone got the lady first.
Willy
P.S. I am in London for another 7 days recuperating for my next foray into the hidden depths known to me as 'Chinese Divorcees'.
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Willy, I would be very proud to have you at the wedding and reception afterwards. You were there for me at a very difficult time for me. A friend in need, is a friend indeed!
It's still a long way off. I'll let you know when we set a date.
There have been ups and downs. But that's to be expected. If you are just drifting along there is nothing much to think and decide about. But when you're getting ready to be married, then there are a whole lot of things that can trip you up.
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I look forward to that day Danny.
Hope the wedding and reception are going to be on the same day because me loose in a new city for more than a day may be just too exciting!!!!
Willy
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Willy - I think I might have to adopt you as part of my family. Maybe a distant uncle or something. The thought of my own family in China for my wedding gives me the fear :dodgy:.
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Adopt a willy.com....ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Adopt a willy.com....ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Nice idea Rob.
good adverting slogan
???????????
Dont miss out grab a Willy today.
Willy
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Dont miss out grab a Willy today.
Hair raising experience :s
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At least he didn't say "grab your willy today!"
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At least he didn't say "grab your willy today!"
Thats a bit 'one sided' Shaun - mine is an open invitation!!!!
Willy
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At least he didn't say "grab your willy today!"
Thats a bit 'one sided' Shaun - mine is an open invitation!!!!
Willy
Ah!!! :icon_rolleyes: The images. :icon_redface:
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Here's something you don't hear me say.... No Photos Please.
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Here's something you don't hear me say.... No Photos Please.
lamo that's right tmi!!!!!