China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: Arnold on May 02, 2009, 10:59:51 am
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Mick , what Maxx said is for a good start . I want to add , to slow down with your letter writing . Everyday is going to be , to expansive for you in the long run and might not be good for your Lady ,it will put too much pressure on her . Especially if she does not have a Computer of her own . I don't think any Lady will have the time free , to go to the Agency everyday to read and answer your letter's . That sound's fishy to me . They have a Life too , unless of course it's a Scam . Two .. Three times a week is more than enough . This way you can use up all the 6000 character's available and ask many question's about daily Life . This will also give your Lady more time to reply more fully / complete to your's .
If this thing still keep's happening with the repeat's , I would drop her and move on .
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I think a lot of people are getting overly paranoid about these so called fakes.
ALL the mods are either married to or engaged to Chinese ladies, I'm going over to visit one for the second time next month...we cant all have magically found the only non fakes out there can we??!!
In fact next visit I'm meeting one of my ladies friends American husband that is visiting to bring her back to America with him as her visa just came through.
Another one of my ladies friends has another American visiting her as it happens when i'm there too so we are going to have a blast and a big meal together...so that's three women i can personally 100% vouch are genuine..beating the odds eh?, i don't think so.
Take it one step at a time and encourage her to use msn/qq or whatever, that way you'll find out pretty fast what's real and what isn't.
Best of luck Mike, you are beginning a wonderful adventure that will be massively rewarding as long as you keep your head together and allow it to develop naturally.
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Hi Guys, I have been writing to a lady over the last 2 weeks . I read a forum the other day about
agencies putting fake women on the site and I am concerned about the one I am writing to. I send her letters everyday and she replies everyday
which is good but she has asked me questions she already new, like I told her I was already in china but she asked me see her when I come to
china the next letter and I told what I was doing on the weekend but she asked me again in the next letter and she repeated something in
2 consecutive letters. The photo's she sends me are of model material as well. Maybe I am a bit paranoid but if anyone can give me advice,
I would apreciate it.
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Mick ask for the day to day pictures.Send her some flowers.Have her take a picture with the flowers.Find out how long she has had her profile on Chnlove.You will want to get this all straight in your mind before you proceed with this relationship.It really does make for a bad start.
No matter what you do or how you conduct this relationship.Or the next relationship.At some point and time you are going to have to make a leap of faith.And return to China.To see if the women is the women of your dreams.If you let this line of thinking continue.Then you will see a scam.And you will be posting your own tales of woe.Because you have just put the women threw the Spanish inquisition.Then you start beleaving what other people have written.Then it spirals out of control
I think that everybody has ben reading the scam articals lately.There seams to be alot of them out there in the last couple of weeks.But as I said before at some point and time you are going to have to go and see for yourself if it is a scam.
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Hi Mick, I have been writing with my "new" lady for three weeks now. We write every day to each other, once we two letters a day. Yes Arnold, it is expensive, but I am hopeless :twisted: The pictures I have gotten from her are also studio photos, but the letters are very real as far as I can tell.
I had the same issues with my last lady. I told her I had to go to Germany for my passport because I am german living in Denmark. A week later she asks why I had to Germany. She was no fake, I had gotten some pictures but in our case it just wasn't right. Maybe your lady is not as interested as you wish or maybe she is just busy with a lot of things that could make she doesn't always remembers what you asked the day before. I believe if it would be a fake, they would be more careful and try to avoid repeating the same questions/answers.
But as the others told me when I was in doubt, follow your heart.
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There is a lot of paranoia that's risen out of what.. 1-2 ladies that have been determined to be a scam in the past few weeks? Maybe 3 women? The odds of it being a scam are extremely slim. Most of the ladies have professional pictures taken for their profile, either initiated by themselves, or suggested and taken by the agency. They like to present their best pictures because they want to be desirable - who doesn't? I know that if I had professional pictures, I'd be sending those babies out :p You can simply ask her to take a picture of herself how she looks at work or on the weekend, or as it was suggested with flowers that you send, etc. I've told the ladies I speak to when I ask for these pictures that I would like to imagine what she looks like on an average day when I think of her, something like that *shrug*
Also, in terms of repeating, I am having that issue with one lady - mostly this is an issue with translation. When translating english to chinese and vice versa, there are certain things - slang, vernacular, phrasing - that don't translate directly. This means that the translator then needs to make a "best effort" at making the lady understand the basic meaning of what you are saying. Sometimes your basic meaning is skewed, lost partially, or lost altogether. I really wouldn't sweat it too much, but if it helps, maybe you can try to break down your writing into simpler sentences (I'm not sure if that is what's needed, just a thought) or write in a way that leaves little room for error or misunderstanding by the translator.
As mentioned, you may also wish to write every 1-2 days instead. Writing every day generally means that there is a lot of information being written about, therefore, a lot of things on a daily basis to remember. Your lady may also be getting confused between the letters - almost like forgetting what you had for dinner the night before ;) I like to have my most recent letter in front of me when I write my replies so I know what was spoken about, but this may not be feasible or something that your lady is doing, which could also explain the memory gaps.
Best of luck to ya!
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Neil , there are exception's of course . Being close to the Agency is a bonus only a handfull of Lady's can enjoy , i'm sure . To really have such a Lady , so devoted to write everyday ... is indeed special , but not too common . Especially a working Lady with a Child to worry about . Remember , some of those Lady's work 12 or sometimes more hour's a day . That's why I would think , having that much time on hand is not right , looking from my viewpoint . I think , one really has to be more careful , writing to a Lady like that .
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Mick , what Maxx said is for a good start . I want to add , to slow down with your letter writing . Everyday is going to be , to expansive for you in the long run and might not be good for your Lady ,it will put too much pressure on her . Especially if she does not have a Computer of her own . I don't think any Lady will have the time free , to go to the Agency everyday to read and answer your letter's . That sound's fishy to me . They have a Life too , unless of course it's a Scam . Two .. Three times a week is more than enough . This way you can use up all the 6000 character's available and ask many question's about daily Life . This will also give your Lady more time to reply more fully / complete to your's .
If this thing still keep's happening with the repeat's , I would drop her and move on .
Hmm, I'd say ask your girl how daily letter writing works out for her. I asked my girl and she said she lives very close to the agency, she answers nearly every letter in the morning before work, but sometimes after work, and rarely the next day if she's busy. She enjoys writing daily and I enjoy it too.
I know my girl's not fake - I've sent chocolates and gotten pictures of her with them. Sure, it'd be easy to believe it's a scam - maybe the address she gave me is the agency address, maybe her cell number's an agency number...sometimes you gotta have a little faith.
My $10 (pack-a-day) habit is affordable to me and makes me (and hopefully her) happy so I'm gonna continue. I'm going to see her in August so maybe I'll find out for sure when I step off the plane.
As for the repeats, is it possible she's writing to more than one person still? Maybe she gets some facts confused. If you confront her about the repeats, she may realize you are worth at the very least paying more attention to when she replies so she doesn't get facts mixed up.
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With my expierence the letters i sent were not always translated correctly, the translator sent me an e-mail explaining he did not understand what I was trying to say. I was also given a wrong address, and a wrong phone number. I sent a package to the address given but she never recieved it. I sent this package two weeks before valentines day. Guess what I got it back two weeks ago. Made it there, just an incorrect address. I asked xule about this and she said the address that was given to was incorrect she gave me the correct one. And the phone number was her mothers, so I felt a little silly sending her i love you text messages. lol. I believe that with all the fear of snagging a fake has left some of these men helpless to our own western ways. I think you have to go into this style of dating with eyes wide open and take it what it is for. Fear just does not factor well into the equation. Take a leap of faith and love with abandoned.
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Hi Guys, thanks all for the advice, I will keep writing to here and see how it goes.
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I put a definition after it so they know what is being said. They may take the word "Stern" something meaning the back or bottom which makes no sense in the sentence to us. Unless I'm saying sometimes I have to be an ass? :D So find the words and choose them carefully.
That is very good advice Vince , that will be very helpful to many of us here . I myself , have never thought about this , but then , i have an excuse ... I'm German .
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Mick , what Maxx said is for a good start . I want to add , to slow down with your letter writing . Everyday is going to be , to expansive for you in the long run and might not be good for your Lady ,it will put too much pressure on her . Especially if she does not have a Computer of her own .
we were writing daily and covered anything and everything in between. If you can afford the daily, it's so special...
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I have said this in another post, but I use LEC Software (Use a google search). It has one function where it will translate your words into Chinese then translate that back into english so you can see what you said. you can change the wording a little bit until you get the message straight. I have had it awhile and i do not remember how much I paid for it. But it was not very expensive and it has saved numerous goofs. the only time I didnt check, I misspelled a word then just sent it before I checked instead of saying she had a pretty face(fece) it said she had a pretty rectal excretion. This was sent to her 16 year old daughter. It took a while to get her calmed down. Not Mama, she understood the error but the daughter was livid for a while. I was very embarrassed also. So to me it is very worth the money.
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I have tried lec and it also does make mistakes when translating from simplified chinese to english. for example: l love you flora is translated as i love your plants.hardly the same declaration to my lady is it.lol They are helpful programmes but should not be relied upon. regards Gary
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I use MDBG.net. It is not perfect, but has the advantage that it shows all the translated words including translation/explanation beneath. Most of the time I check the words quickly. Worked well for Vicky and me yesterday.
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Sorry I am Gary and i live in the Uk. just joined the forum today.
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Welcome Gary , glad you found us here . We do want everybody to use there real Name for the Topic's and the Posting's , to make it easier for all of us . Also where your from .
May happiness strike you .
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Welcome Gary, nice to see a new face around ;)
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Thanks for the welcome i am from Essex in the Uk about 25 miles outside London
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Any luck with finding a Lady yet ? We here are all interested in EVERYBODY's relationship , to help them along ... on their Journey to the far east and beyond . Not to forget , learning from each other's experience ... to make this as easy as we can .
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Yes thanks After looking at the hundreds of profiles on chnlove i chose to write to a lady called Flora. We have been writing for about three weeks now and we seem to have a lot in common and are getting on really well. I will keep you posted on how things develop.
Regards Gary
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Best of luck Gary with your Flora, i'm sure you two will go together like bread and butter :P
Bad jokes aside, great to have you here, looking forward to reading about your developing romance here, we are all here for the same reason :)
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Yes mate like the others said, welcome to the brotherhood...
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oh god fakes i just joined and these threads have me worried already
2nd how do i post my picture here lol
never mind i got it okay im getting slammed daily with new admirers and i have 2 already replied to my cupid notes.. just curious here.. as im new to site. how many do you guys have as favorites as new members cause im adding them in case i want to reply later i dont want to be played or play any of these girls .. i want to know upfront what i should look out for .. xie xie
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First Welcome Shane .
To your question of how many ? I myself never had more than three in my Favorites . What would I do with more anyway ?
So try to narrow it down to just ONE as soon as you can and concentrate on that one very closely , throughout each EMF . At the beginning the Translator will include him/herself to sweet'n things up a little . To make the Culture shock and the language problem as easy as possible . This is your Job , to realize what is your Lady's writing and what is not . If for one reason , her letter's don't match your's , it's either time to complain to Chnlove or move on to the next Lady .
Second , hope you have read most of this Forum's Topic's and check out all the Info . at our Facebook / Chnlove site . Lot's of info there also , to help you along . Any other questions , this brotherhood is just what you need to make this a successful Journey for you . Good Luck .
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Gary and Shane, as the rest of the brotherhood has mentioned welcome aboard we are glad to have you with us,and hope to hear lots from the both of you as time goes on, but dont let some of these old timers and married guys scare you they are actually really nice guys, but also I guess I shouldn't tell them that it may bust their egos...........lol
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Thanks guys thanks millions.. for everything
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lol heres a BS one i think
I found you in the crowd but nobody else~ why? ^^ Chemistry worked, I think ^^How do you feel today, my dear? I never believe ¡®fall in love at first sight' till to I found you here, I believe my eyes, you are the last person I found in this website. I have just stop here and get further step with you, how can we get closer? Just write to me, don't be shy!
I am a sweet and smart lady. I am humor and outgoing. Smile is always on my face. I believe that I can make you laugh and laugh again if we can be together. You will be the happiest man in the world. My sense tells me that you are the right person to share my happiness. Do you have the same feeling about me? I hope the answer is yes.
I wish this is a good start for us. I will take a lot of sunshine to your life.
I am waiting for your letter.
Best wishes
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Shane, I think you just gotta find one you feel comfortable with and start writing her.
Sure there are some fakes, but there are more genuine ones than fakes so don't loose all perspective and start blowing off girls that might one day have turned out to be your future wife had you given them a chance...
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Just so you know. If you dont already. Every time you add a lady to your favorites she is sent a message or told about it.
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Just so you know. If you dont already. Every time you add a lady to your favorites she is sent a message or told about it.
i didnt know that, are you sure?
I added about a hundred ladies to my favourites starting out, explains all the admiration emails!!
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yeppers, unless your profile is hidden they are notified which man added the lady to his favorites list
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v245/npridgeon/favorites-1.jpg)
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Yes, that is also what it says in the Chnlove, I think it is in the FAQ's. I first noticed it when I started out. Almost every time I added someone I would get an Admire letter. I finally asked one and she said yes She was told. I dont know if you have ever been on a dating sight but every time someone looks (ed past tense) at my profle, i would get a note. I dont know how timely their notification is, but they are supposed to get notified.
Just so you know. If you dont already. Every time you add a lady to your favorites she is sent a message or told about it.
i didnt know that, are you sure?
I added about a hundred ladies to my favourites starting out, explains all the admiration emails!!
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Many of the more experienced members (and I have done this too) suggest to hide your profile soon after you sign up with Chnlove, and then write only to the lady (or ladies) that interest you, rather than receiving many introduction letters. This way you control the situation and are doing the picking/choosing. Just thought I'd toss that idea out there in case it comes in handy. Best wishes and good luck!
Carl
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yeah mine is hidden
i only am writing 1 girl
Many of the more experienced members (and I have done this too) suggest to hide your profile soon after you sign up with Chnlove, and then write only to the lady (or ladies) that interest you, rather than receiving many introduction letters. This way you control the situation and are doing the picking/choosing. Just thought I'd toss that idea out there in case it comes in handy. Best wishes and good luck!
Carl