China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Hans on January 07, 2010, 05:47:19 am
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First of all, big creds to all the people here who responded to my concerns before leaving for China to meet my lady. Without you, maybe I would never have taken the step.
After a long journey (24 hours from my apartment in Stockholm to the hotel in Guangzhou) I finally arrived in Zhanjiang, Guangdong.
It was a weird start. I arrived in Guangzhou in the evening. As I was heading outside with my bags I was immediately asked by a guy where I wanted to go and told him the Guang sha hotel. I didn’t show him the hotel voucher because we could communicate in Chinese and he seemed to understand perfectly. A driver finally arrived and I told him too to drive me to that hotel. He drove me to a shabby place called the Fei Xiang hotel instead, apparently thinking it didn’t matter too much. I was too tired to make any fuss about it, never mind the 200 RMB for the hotel. I only wanted a shower, to shave and to sleep.
After a night of limited sleep in a bed which must be regarded as pure concrete™ even by Chinese standards, I took the plane to Zhanjiang and landed at the smallest airport I’ve ever seen. There I was greeted by my lady holding a big bunch of flowers, the head of the agency, an interpreter, and a girl whose only job seemed to be to take a lot of photos as we walked by holding hands the first day. I was quite impressed with the reception and pleased with the fact that my lady looked more beautiful in real life than in the photos. We got in a van and headed for lunch and later she opened my gifts at the hotel.
The hotel the agency had booked for me was great, probably the best I’ve stayed in in China (the bed was actually as soft as mine at home). After lunch they left me and my lady to fend for ourselves. The biggest problem initially was (surprise, surprise) the language barrier. I’ve not studied Chinese for that long and my lady doesn’t know more than a few words of English. To make things worse, being a Guangdongren she obviously doesn’t speak the Beijing dialect I’m used to. It was a bit frustrating for us both in the beginning until I learned the differences in pronounciation.
The first few days I tried to analyze her reactions. Is she unhappy with the ways things are going? Is she on the contrary very pleased? Was that a sad look on her face or am I just me misreading it? Every tiny signal was analyzed unconsciously in my head. After a few days I could let it go.
Meeting the agency and talking views on marriage and religion etc. straight away the first day certainly woke me up a bit. ”Hey pal, this is for real!” I arrived in Zhanjiang on December 29th, on the 30th I would meet the parents. Gosh was I nervous. As it turned out, so were they. I handed over the gifts I had bought to them in Sweden. Her family had arranged with a dinner at a nice restaurant and since it was also my birthday they even brought a big birthday cake which we had for dessert. It was me, my lady, her sister, her parents, three people from the agency and a friend of the parents. Naturally, I had to answer tons of questions. About education, income, views on relations, plans for the future etc. And a lot about Sweden as a country. I was prepared for it and they never asked me anything really inconvenient. You might say that Chinese people ask what others would like to ask.
When it was time for dessert I was asked to say something and blow the candle out as well as sing something in Swedish. Well, what choice did I have? I sang the Swedish happy birthday song since I regarded this as both mine and my lady’s birthday (her birthday is only a few weeks prior to mine). At times the first few days were like being in a movie, watching someone else doing what I was doing. Most of all I felt I was experiencing an adventure and at that time I didn’t mind the outcome that much, I was mostly enjoying the ride. That would change, though. We came closer and closer with every day.
Zhanjiang is a relatively "small" Chinese city, only about one million inhabitants (including the suburbs). It’s certainly not one of the prettiest cities I’ve seen but I think it is be much more beautiful in the summer with all the parks and beach promenade areas. I slept at my hotel and she stayed with her parents at night. Every morning we had breakfast at the hotel before going out to explore the city. That mostly meant visiting a few parks every day and trying to communicate. As long as we were together, I didn’t care what we did.
I had a terrible cold the first few days. Because of it and because each day was like a never ending Chinese lesson I was very tired the first three days. My lady was great, she brought me medicine to the hotel and also got me the most distasteful medicine I have ever tried. If it did any good I am not man to say. I was almost treated like a patient of hers. My lady later invited me to her home and her parents cooked us dinner. It’s a pity that they only speak Cantonese since I would like to talk to them more, but maybe we may be able to in the future.
On January 4th we took the bus to Guangzhou and stayed there two nights before it was time for me to catch the plane home. Now we stayed in the same hotel room, which felt great.
I was told by guys on this forum not to have any expectations before I left. I tried not to, in fact I must have expected a failure because I felt very surprised with the great treatment from the agency (except the ridiculous translation fees I have nothing to complain about at all). When we first met at their office I told them about my concerns because of bad behavior from other agencies and the head of the Zhanjiang Happy Marriage Agency told me that she thought that 80 per cent of the agencies in China were no good. An exaggeration probably, but it still means that they are aware of the concerns.
I am back in Sweden with a great experience. I was a bit concerned that I had put the Chinese woman on a pedastal and created an unrealistic image. But my lady turned out to be exactly everything I have been looking for in a woman; Sweet, caring, beautiful, organized, responsible and with a good sense of humor. We laughed a lot which I think is very important in a relationship.
So I am more or less blown away. Now the plan is to arrange with a visa for my lady so that she can celebrate Christmas with me in Sweden. By then my Chinese will have improved and hopefully her English too. I hope we will not encounter any big visa problems along the way. Maybe, maybe I’ll visit her again in late summer…
I am just walking around with a silly smile on my face right now. :icon_cheesygrin:
I'll post some pictures soon...
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That is great Hans , another terrific story , now out of the unknown into the known , but do you think life would have been easier with a little electronic translator , because as you have possibly worked out there are words in the English language which have no Chinese word and these immediately show up when you hit the Mandarin button and make it very easy to communicate , even flipping to Cantonese if required , regards Ying and Robert .
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Wow, a good update Hans and I'm glad it worked out after all the pre-trip worrying! Have you got any photos?
Can you get your lady an electronic translator? We found it quite useful, and I also had a dictionary on my mobile phone which was great for finding the right word for things. Chinese has much fewer words than English, heck we have big, massive, large, huge, ginormous and all the Chinese seem to have is "?" lol.
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Hans
many on this site are concerned with not being able to talk to their ladies fluently. I have been with my lady here for four months this week. When I first met her she could not speak a word of English and the Chinese that I had previously learned was the wrong dialect (I am in Guangdong as you was). We have a elec. translator but we do not use it that often. But we learn from each other every day and body language is very clear and understandable.
So if you want to have long meaningful conversations day in day out then maybe China is not the place for you. If you want to have a growing relationship that takes patience on both sides then China is the place to be.
Willy
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I am very happy to read about your trip... After all the doubts you had of going to China this time it is great news that it worked out for you too.. You are now one of us with this strange grin in the face.. Other people doesn't know why we look as we do and I would not tell them either :icon_cheesygrin:
A big " Lycka till " to you
Peter
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Sounds like a successful trip. At least you know she is real and fitting.
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Hans,good news!Great men always be good luck.
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Thank you all of you!
I didn't buy an electronic translator mainly because there was very little time before I left and I also felt I had to put the money on the trip itself. I plan on buying one before our next time together, though. We did use my computer when at the hotel room together, both MDBG and Google translate helped a lot when there was confusion and there was something important we wanted to say. The culture differences caused a big misunderstanding the last day but we managed to sort it out with help of online translating. We have both urged for the need of patience and to solve misunderstandings and/or problems through communication so I think it will work out.
Yeah, Brett, you can get pretty far with fewer words in Chinese, no doubt. And yes Peter, let's keep that smile for ourselves! People don't know what they are missing out on. :icon_cheesygrin:
Willy, both my lady and the staff of the agency laughed at my Beijing dialect because as you know it is recognisable through the "rrr"s in the end like youdianr, huar etc. This became like a joke between me and my lady. I was a bit surprised though when I first talked to my lady on the phone that she could speak Mandarin that I could easily understand. She uses other words than I am used to sometimes, but there is no problem to understand her dialect if I know the words. Cantonese, however, is quite a different thing. They don't even have the same word för "thank you"...
Pictures are coming. I am in bed today with a fever (a cold after the tip to China and some fever after the trip home, that's a jackpot I guess) but I'll find some pics and upload them later.
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Sorry you caught a cold in China, and then again in Sweden ... are the indestructible Vikings not that indestructible anymore? :icon_cheesygrin:
Sounds like your trip was successful all the same, I'm not surprised the two of yopu did not share the same room, if you're 28, then she must be a good bit younger, that kind of interaction will probably have to wait until after marriage.
Keep it coming!
Congrats,
Frank
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Frank,
Think again ...hahaha!!! The Chinese youngsters of today are very much like there Western counterparts these days, especially when there off at University!! hahaha!!
Times are a changing, and fast too!!! ...lol!!
David....
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We did share a room (and bed) in Guangzhou. This was what the misunderstanding was about. We booked a room at a hotel and I assumed that this time we would stay together. I made sure there were two beds. Then in the evening she said she would go and stay with a friend, which surprised me. I thought we had agreed on staying together at the hotel since we booked the hotel together and she said nothing about staying at a friend's place. I told her that in Sweden it is regarded as rejection if the lady does not even sleep in the same room as the man when they are a couple. She said she didn't know and all of a sudden we were sleeping in the same bed in each other's arms. So it did end well after all. :icon_cool: She's 24 btw.
But yes, if it was a Swedish girl we would have had sex after the first, second or third date. I knew this was not going to happen this time though and I am OK with it. It kind of makes it a bigger deal when it finally happens, I guess.
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Hans , do I like happy Stories ? You bet .. and great to read your's . So glad for you and please get Healthy , what's a young Man like you doing Sick ? haha
Can't wait for the Photo's to come in .
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Congrats Hans. Keep the success stories coming.
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But yes, if it was a Swedish girl we would have had sex after the first, second or third date.
Or even before the first date? I once experienced this during a skiing trip a while back. I partied with some Swedish students (boy the amounts of vodka that diappeared that night), and this girl drags me outside of the disco and starts pulling down my pants ... not that she wasn't attractive or anything, but that is just not my style, I politely refused and went home.
Frank
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I partied with some Swedish students (boy the amounts of vodka that diappeared that night), and this girl drags me outside of the disco and starts pulling down my pants ... not that she wasn't attractive or anything, but that is just not my style, I politely refused and went home.
Frank
I do not blame you for that Frank it makes a mockery of the years spent learning the Chevalier charm method!!!! Of course I would have done the same thing:angel::angel::angel:
Willy
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Or even before the first date? I once experienced this during a skiing trip a while back. I partied with some Swedish students (boy the amounts of vodka that diappeared that night), and this girl drags me outside of the disco and starts pulling down my pants ... not that she wasn't attractive or anything, but that is just not my style, I politely refused and went home.
Frank
Yes, at parties that happens all the time. But I was merely talking about dating, if you meet someone on the net or somewhere else and you set up a date (a dinner or whatever) for the weekend it usually leads to sex if you like each other. If not the first time, than the second or third. Having sex with anyone at parties isn't really my style either, although sometimes I wish it was. :icon_cheesygrin:
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I think you got a big plus from her... sharing the same bed and not have sex.. Quite the opposite from what she might learned about the sex-crazy western men :angel::icon_biggrin:
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Hans,
Congratulations. I am happy for you. Looking forward to the pictures and all.
Shaun
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I think you got a big plus from her... sharing the same bed and not have sex.. Quite the opposite from what she might learned about the sex-crazy western men :angel::icon_biggrin:
Yes especially arm in arm in the same bed ... It would be hard to resist for me if the relationship was going well, and probably for her too, feeling my telescope getting into position to shoot the stars ... :blush:
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Yes especially arm in arm in the same bed ... It would be hard to resist for me if the relationship was going well, and probably for her too, feeling my telescope getting into position to shoot the stars ... :blush:
Haha. Well, I can put my signature under that one. But still, it was just wonderful to hug and kiss and feel each other's bodies after just having written letters for such a long time. It's a step by step process and I would never want to push her into anything. She has no previous experience from what I gather, of course she's nervous.
Hm, is it possible to post pictures here uploading them directly from my computer or do I have to use a web link...?
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is it possible to post pictures here uploading them directly from my computer or do I have to use a web link...?
You can do either.
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OK, finally a few pictures here then. I've made them a lot smaller, hope the quality isn't too awful. I can resize them again if it's necessary.
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hans
great pics
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Wow, a nice lady, and an awesome da dan gao :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Congratulations, Hans! Sounds like you had a great time (once you were over the being sick part, of course).
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Hans, Great photos and a beautiful lady. Congrats!
Don
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Han's,
Great adventure, great photo's, great lady, and great end result to your trip!!
But now, ....i think we'll have to start calling you ''Spike'' So a great haircut too ..hahaha!!
David....
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Thanks for the pics Hans..so & great all... :angel:
It shows your never are too young to fall in Love. I am happy to see the younger generation having success. Best wishes for the two of you.
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Hans, great story, beautiful lady, best wishes. buzz
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hans, great pictures, beautiful lady, congradulations! use more oil in the hair...:icon_cheesygrin:
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She's a doll. What a cute smile! Lucky guy Hans.
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She's a doll. What a cute smile! Lucky guy Hans.
I second that, congratulations to both of you!
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Great photos Hans... Now you have to get her to Sweden too :icon_biggrin:
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Go Go You Swedish Love Machine! She is a cutie and don't let her go.
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Thanks for sharing Hans, you have a real cutie there.
And wow, what a birthday cake!
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the cakes here in China are great and cheap to at least i think there cheap in price
they even have these mini cakes for 6 rmb that are good for desert after dinner for two or three
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Hans sorry I've not put anything in here yet.
But congrats mate to the both of you, she is very nice looking lady
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Scottish rob,
did you finally get your cp up and running?
havent seen u much on here
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Yeah mate finally...
Try to come on as much as possible, but talk to Anne a lot and other things on my mind to get the funds to get back to China.
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glad to hear things are still good with you two even
with the delay of your return its good to hear
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Scottish_Rob: Thanks mate. We all have plenty of things to do, it's not easy to keep track on every single story on this board! I have hardly time to check in here right now. But it's always interesting to read other stories, whether they are success stories or not.
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unless you have all the time in the world like me and you take a few hours each day to read and post
my hectic work life is over:icon_cheesygrin: its ow all r and r
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Dear Sir,
I enjoyed reading your post & I am happy that there are legitimate agencies out there who make an effort to establish relationships for foreign men with Chinese women. I am interested in visiting Zhanjiang Happy Marriage Agency in July 2015.
Can you please send me some contact information; email address, phone numbers, web pages & physical address? Then I will be able to contact them to make arrangements to meet a wonderful woman as you did. Any help or assistance you can give me to help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Cordially, Donald
viking2b@hotmail.com
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Dear Sir,
I enjoyed reading your post & I am happy that there are legitimate agencies out there who make an effort to establish relationships for foreign men with Chinese women. I am interested in visiting Zhanjiang Happy Marriage Agency in July 2015.
Can you please send me some contact information; email address, phone numbers, web pages & physical address? Then I will be able to contact them to make arrangements to meet a wonderful woman as you did. Any help or assistance you can give me to help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Cordially, Donald
viking2b@hotmail.com
Donald, you might have better luck sending Hans a PM since the last time he was active here was back in 2012. A PM will go to his email if it is still valid.
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I dont know off hand that agency and they dont show up in any searches except they are affiliated with Chnlove which I HATE!
try this. https://plus.google.com/local/Zhanjiang%2C%20Guangdong%2C%20China/s/marriage
https://plus.google.com/local/Zhanjiang%2C%20Guangdong%2C%20China/s/marriage%20bureau
That may get you headed in the right direction and some contacts to get in touch with.
Honestly if you have a lady already then get her away fro the agency. If you just browsing hoping to find a beautiful gal the try one of the dating website ....BUT stay away from he agencies. Their sole purpose in this world is to separate you from your money and they are quite good at it. I burned up a couple grand at chnlove and got nothing but frustration. I met my wife here
http://www.chinalovecupid.com/
And it only cost me 3 months membership.
And for christ's sake, finish filling in your profile . how are we supposed to give you proper advise when we dont know anything at all about you.
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And for christ's sake, finish filling in your profile . how are we supposed to give you proper advise when we don't know anything at all about you.
Not sure just how many have received a PM from this one. I have. But without any profile details there will be no answer from me.
My mother always taught me not to speak to strangers as well as to be cautious and I like a better idea of who is who.
Willy