China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Josh Markley on February 12, 2010, 03:36:26 pm
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After six years full of many failed relationships I am seriously questioning everything in my life. I look myself in the mirror every morning asking myself what I am doing wrong. I know I have my flaws but who doesn't right? I am hard working, caring, fun loving, patient and after six years of being beaten down my heart is still wide open. I know there is a wonderful woman out there for me.
Can I continue on this path? Is this the correct path for me? Right now it is just to much to think about and I am tired. But every night I get on chn and wonder if the girl I have been looking for all my life is there. But I am afraid to pull the trigger, i can't bring myself to contact any of those ladies. I still receive 5 admiration letters daily, but honestly are any of them sincere? When I get letters that say to many nice things about me, or tell me they have many sexy photos for me to see. I do not think those girls are sincere, but I do not know that for sure. I used to be a risk taker, but you know once bitten twice shy. Also I am not one of those guys who wants to meet two or three women. I just feel you talk to, too many you never build a stable bond with just one girl. It is weak bonds with many girls.
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Josh,
i wouldnt give up. as far as the girls who say nice things or want to send sexy pics,well that is
the translator trying to sell the girl. i would back off the ones who want to send sexy pics, to
shallow and unsincere i think. have you tried CLL?? thats were i met my lady and a few good freinds
whom i still talk to. this translator thing to me is just pure garbage that leaves us open for failure.
even after you send emf's for 3,4,5, or six months and start to chat with the lady on web cam and qq
or messenger, the language issue is still there. she didnot learn to speak english during that time to be
able to chat with you. and is probably going to learn more after she gets with a man to marry. and writing several
i think your right that the bond isnt as strong with any of them. the turning point came for me when after
several requests for email and chatting with a lady, which was ignored i recieved a letter stating that the
lady would like to talk with you but her english is to poor/ so i wrote back stating that this issue will always
be there until i learn chinese and she learns english and i want to do this now as i have wasted time writing
this way and some of the letters dont even address the last one or what was said in the last one. i then kindly
recieved a letter wishing me the best which led me to believe it was a phantom lady. i then met and chatted with
several ladies on CLL until i found my lady and its amazing how willing they are to try and chat with you on web cam
even with their english only so so. and the kicker was i did talk to 1 lady who was on chnl and she didnt even know
who i was even though we sent 3 emf's back and forth. so i guess just try a different avenue but dont give up:icon_cheesygrin:
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Josh, I can say allot on this subject. Been there done that more then once, twice? alright a dozen times or more. Be who you are. the right match will come along when the time is right. Don't settle until you find what you want. The women you are contacting are young and think that being sexual is the way go get someone. These are young women that haven't thought it through, immature. Finding that diamond isn't going to be easy and it takes patience. So don't throw this on yourself as a flaw. Enjoy the ride, when it's right you'll know it.
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Josh,
After having a few things go bad on chn I reevaluated. I moved over to blossoms.com simply to get away from the translators. You will find them on blossoms but are easy to figure out. After searching for a few months and talking with several women I found the one I am looking for. There are women there who are not involved with an agency.
If you choose to go this route PM me and I will give you several hints on how to cut through and find the gems.
Just a thought,
Shaun
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Jo-Ma , Vince has it right . Don't throw all the blame on yourself there . This is not a good way to start things out and your next Lady will see this as a negative coming from you . You must have some kind of trust in these Women on CHN and the Translator , or it is never going to work to your adventage . What is very important for you to do , is get your Lady's address to send her a Card of some kind ( for whatever occation ) and have her do the same for you . Seeing something personal from her will show you she is real and is willing to move on and is trusting you , so all you do is continue this route and the rest will fall into place for you . Get the Webcam thing going , private or through the Agency . Now , to help you along easier ... find someone with some kind of English skill and/or a Computer . Do not take any excuses from anybody . Do this within the first ... say six weeks of writing and you should be on your way , to a hopefully great relationship .
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The authentic Japanese sword is made from a combinations of hard, high carbon steel and tough, low carbon steel. There are advantages and setbacks to both types of steel. High-carbon steel is harder and able to hold a sharper edge than low-carbon steel but it is more brittle and may break in combat. Having a small amount of carbon will allow the steel to be more malleable, making it able to absorb impacts without breaking but becoming blunt in the process. The block of combined steel is heated and hammered over a period of several days, and then it is folded and hammered to squeeze the impurities out. Generally a katana is folded no more than sixteen times.
After the blade is forged it is then sent to be polished. The polishing takes between one and three weeks. The polisher uses finer and finer grains of polishing stones until the blade has a mirror finish in a process called glazing. This makes the blade extremely sharp and reduces drag making it easier with which to cut.
So Jo-Ma 6 years spent in creating your warrior spirit might still not be enough. Patience - soon your time will come. We are all forged in the fires of fate, tempered upon the anvil of life. What you see as 6 years of struggle I see as 6 years of experience. Embrace your hardship as it will only make you stronger. You of course should know this, after all, the weight of iron has been pressed above your chest.
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Hey Josh, if you are interested, check out www.mychinalove.net. I met my lovely wife there. They don't have a lot of women to choose from but they are all looking for a real relationship. Like Arnold says, most important, get the webcam going asap and I am sure you will find your special someone, it's only a matter of time.
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Joma...Sent you a PM mate...:icon_biggrin:
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I am sorry guys, I don't think I explained myself well enough. My rant was more about mending a broken heart, and finding the strength within myself to push forward.
So Jo-Ma 6 years spent in creating your warrior spirit might still not be enough. Patience - soon your time will come. We are all forged in the fires of fate, tempered upon the anvil of life. What you see as 6 years of struggle I see as 6 years of experience. Embrace your hardship as it will only make you stronger. You of course should know this, after all, the weight of iron has been pressed above your chest.
Thanks Rhonald I think that was kinda what I needed to hear. Yes, maybe the experience now it is time to find a new experience.
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I am sorry guys, I don't think I explained myself well enough. My rant was more about mending a broken heart, and finding the strength within myself to push forward.
As one who's had his heart broken many times I can relate to the feelings. The truth of the matter is that when I was going through it, no amount of well meaning words made me feel better. It's just one of those things you have to work through on your own. The good side is that even when you want a shoulder to cry on, we are here for you. Feel free to rant and vent. I think that is one of the strengths of the brotherhood. We can feel free to let our hair down as it were.
When you get to the point where you are able to consider getting back into the game and find the next, and hopefully right girl I have found these words to be comforting; "In order to win the great reward, you must be willing to take a great risk."
I hope when the time is right that you find those words comforting and you move forward with confidence and strength.
David
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Well brothers after much thought and and three trips to the gym, I decided I am not emotionally unavailable. I think I am capable of start a meaningful and last relationship now. So when I return home from the gym last night, I wrote two girls. I was not expecting a reply at all during the holiday but received one. I am not going to jump to any conclusions but check these letters.
Letter #1
hello . This is ***** who write to you in China . happy to know you from so many people , maybe It is a good start !
I am a kind, loyal, active and lovely girl. i am living with my mother , my parents divorced , I am the only child of them , my parents unhappy marriage hurt me deeply , so i am serious with my feeling , i should consider well before i choose someone to marry . I am still an university student , i learn Indoor design , will be a desinger! one year later i will graduate ! ***** is my English name , I knew that is synonym for wisdom, so gave myself that name ! My Chinese given name is J**** , family name is wang !
I am living in the middle of China, wuhan , it is a big city. It is famous for lakes ! I like travelling, history, literature and culture.
Are you my Mr.Right ? Do you want to have a try ?
Now it is your turn to tell me more about you . If you are intrested in me and be sincere enough , contact with me anytime ! will you like to tell me your email address ?
send you my regards !
Letter #2
Have a good day!
Happy to get your reply before Spring festival and Valentine's Day : )
Your wonderful letter brightened my day, thank you very much for writing and sharing me your pictures !
I have got your private email address .
I like to communicate with you continue and see what will happen! I am sorry to know your parents divorced too , You have known something about me , I like to tell you more , I am living with my mother , I am the only child of my parents .I am living in the middle of China, Wuhan , it is a big city, It has a population of approximately 9,100,000 people. , it is a city where has four seasons , but spring and autumn are very short, summer and winter are very long , the main food here is rice ! I will try to send you some pictures of my city soon.
I learn indoor design , and will graduate soon. I like my major , I hope I will find a good job after graduation . I like pop music! My name Jiaoqin means soft and polite, Sophie is my English name. Most of friends call me Jiaoqin.I like to get together with my friends and sing Karaoke in spare time .
I hope we can be friends first, and then develop relationship step by step, ok?
Are you looking for a wife or just friend?
Are you romantic?
Send my greeting to all of your family members!
Happy Valentine's Day ,Happy everyday !
Wuhan Oriental Love Consulting Company P509
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Great way to start your search. :dodgy:
Wonder if it is the same translator...
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Yes pressing Iron above your chest gives the mind to ponder. It also strenthens the heart in more ways then one. I also find physical exercise meditative as it also allows inner strength to grow.
I remember reading once that if you fear something, then you need to turn and face it to understand the hold it has on you. I am glad that you have accepted the challenge that the doubt of one's selfworth had weakend your spirit with.
Now hammer out a few more reps with barbell and pen to sharpen your warrior wit :fi_lone_ranger:
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After six years full of many failed relationships I am seriously questioning everything in my life. I look myself in the mirror every morning asking myself what I am doing wrong. I know I have my flaws but who doesn't right? I am hard working, caring, fun loving, patient and after six years of being beaten down my heart is still wide open. I know there is a wonderful woman out there for me.
Can I continue on this path? Is this the correct path for me? Right now it is just to much to think about and I am tired. But every night I get on chn and wonder if the girl I have been looking for all my life is there. But I am afraid to pull the trigger, i can't bring myself to contact any of those ladies. I still receive 5 admiration letters daily, but honestly are any of them sincere? When I get letters that say to many nice things about me, or tell me they have many sexy photos for me to see. I do not think those girls are sincere, but I do not know that for sure. I used to be a risk taker, but you know once bitten twice shy. Also I am not one of those guys who wants to meet two or three women. I just feel you talk to, too many you never build a stable bond with just one girl. It is weak bonds with many girls.
I don't know how old you are, but you look young still. I wish the light bulb would have gone on when I was your age.... You are doing the right thing looking for a woman in China. You will find no better women than these. They have big hearts with looks and age farther down the list compared to just wanting to be loved which is high on their list. I used to be like you on meeting one woman at a time. I had to go against my natural way of doing that. I didn't like it, but I also didn't like starting all over again. I took a chance and went against that theory last year and got burned and I will say that it was mostly my fault. In those days I had my brain wrapped around my culture and applied it to my girl and that is exactly how I lost her. Our culture of women and how they do things does not apply with these women. Now I know that, but I still put myself in a position where I am starting all over again. It's been 7 months. I am not so quick to get my heart ripped to pieces, so I am being more cautious and patient this time around. I am meeting many and if nothing else making many friends that are valuable. Keep talking to the guys here on how to wade through chnlove as efficiently as possible. I mean that in a financial way and an emotional way.
By the way what happened to that girl from the pictures you posted on Feb 10th?
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I don't know how old you are, but you look young still. I wish the light bulb would have gone on when I was your age.... You are doing the right thing looking for a woman in China. You will find no better women than these. They have big hearts with looks and age farther down the list compared to just wanting to be loved which is high on their list. I used to be like you on meeting one woman at a time. I had to go against my natural way of doing that. I didn't like it, but I also didn't like starting all over again. I took a chance and went against that theory last year and got burned and I will say that it was mostly my fault. In those days I had my brain wrapped around my culture and applied it to my girl and that is exactly how I lost her. Our culture of women and how they do things does not apply with these women. Now I know that, but I still put myself in a position where I am starting all over again. It's been 7 months. I am not so quick to get my heart ripped to pieces, so I am being more cautious and patient this time around. I am meeting many and if nothing else making many friends that are valuable. Keep talking to the guys here on how to wade through chnlove as efficiently as possible. I mean that in a financial way and an emotional way.
By the way what happened to that girl from the pictures you posted on Feb 10th?
I am 30, and I have actually been on chnlove since I was 25. The girls in the photos are my ex Xu Le. I spent a couple weeks in Beijing and Baoding with her and her family. It was a really nice trip. I learned a lot about her and her family. Most of good some of it bad. I tried really hard not to press my culture On Xu Le and when something was going on I asked the brotherhood what they. It was kinda easy for use culturally to co exist we were both hungry to know more about the culture and understand each other by doing so. The thing that lead to our break up was money. I don't think she was greedy by any means. But she kinda had a timeline when she wanted something done. One mistake I made was agreeing to let her stay home and I would send a monthly allowance. I work construction, and at the time i wasnt working much at all so it was hard to send what I promised each week. This in turn caused her to fear I was unstable, she knew i wasnt rich she just wanted stability. So we split up. Well Jeffm just keep your mind open, these women are special and can teach us so much if we are willing to learn.
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1. Same translator...different day. :@
2. Same girl...:dodgy:
3. Your "mother-in-law" will be living with you...:s
4. Your whole house is about to be re-arranged (after she graduates)....:icon_eek:
5. Kiss that bankaccount good-by...:icon_cry:
6. Stay off the roid's....:icon_cool:
just had to throw that in...:angel:
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! will you like to tell me your email address ?
Good sign from girl #1
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Rocky sorry mate, but what is Roids???:s
He he just had to throw that in ....lol:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::angel:
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Rob, it stands for steroids, it's a joke since he likes lifting weights...:icon_cheesygrin:
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! will you like to tell me your email address ?
Good sign from girl #1
Both of those letters are from the same girl. I think she forgot what she wont me in the first letter. She has my email now see if she uses it in the future, haha.
1. Same translator...different day. :@
2. Same girl...:dodgy:
3. Your "mother-in-law" will be living with you...:s
4. Your whole house is about to be re-arranged (after she graduates)....:icon_eek:
5. Kiss that bankaccount good-by...:icon_cry:
6. Stay off the roid's....:icon_cool:
just had to throw that in...:angel:
Yeah, I posted the letters because they seamed too much alike, to me they seamed to be all translator.
I should have my mother move in as well make it fair.
as long as I have my media area and my bar, ill be fine
I will have to get a third job
roid's haha im not that big haha
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Rob, it stands for steroids, it's a joke since he likes lifting weights...:icon_cheesygrin:
Ooooppppssssss Sorry mate I thought you were talking about roads...lol:blush::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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Josh,
Why should you be doing something wrong? You say that you asked yourself the question. Sometimes it takes time and many knock backs before you get what you deserve. 18 month ago I felt like you. I had been newly separated; I owned much money to the bank after my own business crashed. Like you I asked myself what I did wrong. I think I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
As you might know, my live turned around as I joined chnlove last year. Even though last year had a good outcome, it was very tough too. It was the year of the ox, which means a lot of work. Today a new year starts, the year of the Tiger. The meeting with your new lady might be the turning point you have been waiting for. Her second letter reminds me a little bit of the first letter of my wife. I hope that she is the right one you are looking for. I wish it for you! The best things always happen when you not expect them.
In my time here in the brotherhood I had the impression that you are a fine man. And I am pretty sure you will get the woman you deserve.
It is easy to find a woman, but the challenge is to find the right one. Do not give up! I wish you a happy new year! ???!
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Josh,
Thanks for bringing me up to date on that. I can see your situation more clearly now. Hang in there something will break for you. With your age I am sure you are a star in China. Gazillions in thier twenties I am sure already are tracking you down.
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Jo-Ma , make sure your next Flight to China is over LAX again !!! Hope it will come soon for you and with the right Girl on the other end .:icon_cheesygrin:
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Josh,
Why should you be doing something wrong? You say that you asked yourself the question. Sometimes it takes time and many knock backs before you get what you deserve. 18 month ago I felt like you. I had been newly separated; I owned much money to the bank after my own business crashed. Like you I asked myself what I did wrong. I think I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
As you might know, my live turned around as I joined chnlove last year. Even though last year had a good outcome, it was very tough too. It was the year of the ox, which means a lot of work. Today a new year starts, the year of the Tiger. The meeting with your new lady might be the turning point you have been waiting for. Her second letter reminds me a little bit of the first letter of my wife. I hope that she is the right one you are looking for. I wish it for you! The best things always happen when you not expect them.
In my time here in the brotherhood I had the impression that you are a fine man. And I am pretty sure you will get the woman you deserve.
It is easy to find a woman, but the challenge is to find the right one. Do not give up! I wish you a happy new year! ???!
Hajo, I ask myself that because I am getting the same results. Time after time my relationships end with no good reason. But, after I got over the hurt of losing yet another girl, wasting another year. I can see the light again and I can get back on the horse and try again.
I am not sure when most of you guys had children. I didnt want to wait till I was 30. I was ready 4 years ago. From my relationship with my father, I knew I didnt want a huge age gap between my children and I for the same reason most of us dont want a huge age gap between us and our women. I had relationship with my father unless it pertained to cars. I want to have a good relationship with my children.
Thank you for the kind words Hajo.
Jo-Ma , make sure your next Flight to China is over LAX again !!! Hope it will come soon for you and with the right Girl on the other end .:icon_cheesygrin:
Well if there isnt a girl in the next few months I can still make it to L.A. Dinner or Lunch with you and your beautiful wife.
Josh,
Thanks for bringing me up to date on that. I can see your situation more clearly now. Hang in there something will break for you. With your age I am sure you are a star in China. Gazillions in thier twenties I am sure already are tracking you down.
Jeffm, You are correct. Kinda makes me wonder if I should just take a teaching position and try my luck on my own. But I am afraid I wont be able to concentrate, like a kid in a candy store. Too much to chose from.
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In my opinion CHN Love is not the best place to be if you are afraid of being let down. We all know there is a lot of BS on that site. There are insincere ladies and BS agencies. On top of that, the translator system causes a lot of insecurity and anxiety because you don't know what role the translator has in the conversation. It did for me and I know it does for other as well.
I think the biggest single factor to be successful on CHN Love is luck. Which is a factor we can't control that much, is it? I found my lady on CHN Love and we don't use the EMF system anymore. But I told myself before I went to see her, that if it didn't succeed I would not use CHN Love again. The odds are simply too bad.
Other gentlemen here have suggested Chineselovelinks and Mychinalove. I'd say go for it. I've used Chineselovelinks too but just for fun. It is much easier to get in direct contact with women, many of them talk decent English. I'd say the odds are much better there. And it is cheaper to use as well.
All the best and good luck!
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Might I suggest, you might not be too old for a local girl...
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Josh
Over the past few days I have been a bit selfish....babbling on about my personal happiness and I have been a bit pressed for time also !!!!
But I wanted to find a few moments to put in my 2 cents worth about your question........
I am bloody sight older than you, and after 5 fruitless and frustrating trips to China, I began to think that I had somehow drawn the short straw in the quest for a partner and that all sorts of self doubts crept in to my thoughts. This is normal...it is one way we test our own reality and reset our hopes, dreams and expectations.
Logic must tell you that you dont have a fundamental problem with yourself....I am sure you are as normal as the rest of us !!!!
You can live in false hopes and dreams...but you aint doing that !!! You only want what we all want.
There is never a certainty in relationships, most of them that seem perfect, in some ways cant stand the larges doses of reality that creep in. This again is normal, after all, we dont usually marry the first person that lights our fire !!!
I hope my own experience, which mirrors that of a lot of Bros will give you a level of confidence that it really is something of a numbers game...and I say "game" not in a frivolous way.
There is the RIGHT Lady out there for you....you know it !!
So hang in, dont lose confidence and trust that perseverance will always pay off.......there are many of us here that have proved that
At 30, you have many years to be a good husband and a great Father......in our modern World, the age difference between Father and children means less than it did say 50 years ago...you can still have fun at 60......both Willy and I can testify to that !!!! :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
But my advice is still to get on "face-to-face" via QQ or similar......gives you a head start.
Cheers
David
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David, that was an excellent post.
Josh,
To date I have not made it as far as you with a relationship with a woman in China. I am 99% sure I have met the right woman though and I will be seeing her face to face for the first time April 1. Since you are at the beginning stage of all of this why don't you check out www.blossoms.com. I had a lot more success in talking with a woman there than with chnlove and it was much less expensive. Just a monthly fee and I could contact 20 women a day if that was what I wanted to do.
You will find it much easier to web chat with women there and you can find out if they are with an agency or not. The quick test is to see if they are able to chat on Sunday or outside of business hours. The reason I tell you this is because you can get past many issues before you go like support financially. Peggy and I chat every chance we get. For a long time we talked 2 times each day but neither one of us were getting anything done around the house but the we spent was well worth the investment.
Shaun
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Hey, fellas! Hate to continue to leave and return. But for the last few months I just really felt I didnt have much to offer the forum. Everyone for the most part knows my story, and I think I have helped about as much as I can. But a talk with Sir O'Donnell the other night made me miss the brotherhood I have been a part of for almost two years. By the way Rob I wish you all the luck in the world, I hope you and Sophie live a long wonderful and meaning life together.
A little of what has happened in my life since my last post. I got tired of being unemployed, the economy is shit no matter how this idiot we have in office wants to spin it. So I am back in school full-time. It's a damn joke how I can have more income as a full time student, than being laid off. I do have a job, nothing much just enough to pay my bills. The best news of all, the community college I go to has Chinese classes. So I am enrolled. Cant wait to see what its all about.
Anyway I missed you guys, so I will try to find away to be part of the forum again.
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Good to hear it Josh. So, other than Chinese, what are you studying?
We've missed you too man. Good luck with everything.
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Josh...just because you haven't gone to China recently doesn't mean you can not be part of this group. You have been a member for a long time. Let me reiterate our reason for being here. We are here for men who are interested in Chinese women. That means that we are here for men at all stages of this. Some of us are married, some have girl friends, and others are still looking. Some are taking a break from looking as well. But we all have the same common goal. So you are always welcome to be here with us...as you are one of us.
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welcome back and dont be a stranger here
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Well thanks guys for welcoming me back.
@ Neil, other than the Chinese class I am just taking classes to finish my Associates in Arts. American History 1865 to present, Speech, and a Math class. Nothing to special. Just want to finish this so i can transfer to the Beijing Language and Culture University. I would like to finish my Bachelors there if it will transfer to the Law school I want to go to.
@ Martin, you are right it for all of us since we all have something in common no matter where we are in our life. And thank you!
@ Mike, I cant wait. I saw the professor she is a beauty, but more importantly I just cant learn how to read and write like I am in the first grade again.
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Well thanks guys for welcoming me back.
Now why am I laughing at this ???
First of all , anybody that has been given a "NICKNAME" here or at our other Confinement .. is and will be always a Member and Friend here .
Now go put on your Orange/Stripped Jumper-suit and fall in line now .
A Man does what he needs to do under any circumstance .. your on your way to help yourself with Education with most of the time is for the better . Law School ? Martin do we need a Lawyer ?
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Give me my inmate number. Yeah, want to be an immigration lawyer!
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cqa1265789 inmate number
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But a talk with Sir O'Donnell the other night made me miss the brotherhood I have been a part of for almost two years. By the way Rob I wish you all the luck in the world, I hope you and Sophie live a long wonderful and meaning life together.
Anyway I missed you guys, so I will try to find away to be part of the forum again.
Your more than welcome mate...Was nice to chat with you again, you have been missed.. :D
Thanks for the kind words about me and Sophie, WE will try our best ;D ;D :D
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Hello ladies and gentlemen, Since I have not here for awhile I want to welcome all the new comers, and congratulate all our new married couples! I know at one point I think I read something about having a convention or some sort of yearly meeting, are we still talking about this? My main reason here is to say I miss all you guys and wish you and your families a happy and joyous holiday.
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Its good to see you here Josh. I hope everything has been going well for you. Merry Christmas.