China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: Scottish_Rob on July 28, 2010, 10:12:03 am
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Hi guys today I went out and purchased my ticket back to Paradise hehe
I fly out on the 30th August for 6 weeks...
After the last trip and the uncertainty of being on my own, I feel this trip will be much better...This time I KNOW it will work, I have the pleasure of MEETING my Sophie, and hopefully marrying her in October.
I am MUCH more organised this time... ;D
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Way to go Rob best wishes for you
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well good for you to return to China. but i thought you were moving here for good?
and not for 6 weeks??
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Rob, great to see that you still have the spirit. I wish you all the best for your trip.
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well good for you to return to China. but i thought you were moving here for good?
and not for 6 weeks??
hi Ted
I aim for 6 weeks...Hopefully within that time I will have work and be settled...If (because of my accent) work does not materialise then I will need to come back...
Here's hoping... ;D
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Rob, we are all hoping for you too. May you find exactly what you are looking for.
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Rob
Good luck, this time will be different.... ;D
If your accent interfers with job hunting, I will give you English lessons for free when I get to China on the 12th August...that should be fun !!!
"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain" !!!!!!! "How now brown cow"...see, its not so difficult is it ??
David
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Rob
Good luck, this time will be different.... ;D
If your accent interfers with job hunting, I will give you English lessons for free when I get to China on the 12th August...that should be fun !!!
"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain" !!!!!!! "How now brown cow"...see, its not so difficult is it ??
David
Haha...Och Aye the noo...See you Jimmy !!!!
It's a bricht brew moonlich nicht the nicht...For you normal English speakers, it means " The weather is lovely tonight"....haha... ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D
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Rob
You mean:..."Its a braw, bricht moonlit nicht the nicht "?? ( If I may quote Rabbie )!!!
Also, if you want to know when your wife/fiance/girlfriend/partner has mastered English ask her to say:
"Round and round the rugged rocks, the ragged rascal ran"...or
"The Leith Police dismisseth us" (a lot of us native English speakers have a problem with this one !!!)
Ming has me convulsed with laughter when she attempts it, but she is determined to speak it (as she says) "like an English lady !!!!
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well i wish you lots of luck when you arrive here. maybe you ought to look for some private
tutoring jobs when here and work that in with your job search
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Best of luck Rob.
What part of China are you going to this time?
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Hi Ronan, going to Zhucheng, Shandong Province...about an hour or two's hour drive on the bus from Qingdao...
Got everything ready ;-) Just waiting on visa...
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Rob,
you should have got the visa first before tickets. what are you going to do if they only give you a 30 day one??
that would not be a good thing. lets all hope you get 1 yr multiple entry
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Rob,
you should have got the visa first before tickets. what are you going to do if they only give you a 30 day one??
that would not be a good thing. lets all hope you get 1 yr multiple entry
Yeah I know mate.... I spoke with Willy.. he told me to wait on the visa first...
Stupid newbie error on my part... Whats done is done, just need to hope...
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just have a great trip this time and i hope all works out for the better this time ;D
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Rob if it doesnt work out in the smaller cities then look at some of the bigger ones. in Guangzhou the teaching
jobs are just waiting for someone and the private tutoring is just immense.
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The suspense was killing me waiting to see IF I was getting the visa... ???
Just got off the phone to 5starchinatravel, and have been informed that I will receive my visa tomorrow.
I got a double entry 60 day visa... ;D ;D
And now the journey can begin again...
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I hope you have a great time there Rob. Best of luck on your new journey! I hope that everything works out perfectly for you Rob.
Dave C ;)
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well 60 days is a start and when here apply for a residence visa you might get a 6 moth one there
just go to the local PSB and ask about it
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As mentioned, I received the visa WHILE myself and Sophie were talking on webcam this morning...I showed her the visa and I saw something that I have not saw in a long time (now now guys... :o) the BIGGEST SMILE swept across her face...She was SO thrilled...It was a pleasure for me - seing this grin... ;D ;D She does smile of course she does, but this was different, it was as if it finally dawned on her that I could be trusted..you know :)
Knowing the visa was SECURED, I went on to sending many, many emails to different schools etc throughout the Shandong province.. I intend taking one week to acclamitise ansd spend the week with her before starting work..So I will be hoping that the offers of work come flooding in...
I am NOT counting how long I have before I go (26 days... ;D)
I know this time it will be different compared to my first trip, the one I intend marrying WILL be meeting me at the airport. when I restarted this journey, I vowed to myself that I would look at EVERY little detail concerning culture differences and take them and the language difficulties (we will encounter) into consideration, when I finally chose the lady I wanted. So far it has worked out :). There has been times when we both wanted to give up, but because we are very good COMMUNICATORS we have worked through the problems..
As a sidenote (For the newbies) COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY
This continued journey will NOT be as easy as I 'expected' the first one to be. I got a culture shock the last time, this time however, I feel better prepared...
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Rob,
here is a little bit of info for you because as you say you want to be better prepared this go around. if i was you i would have your lady
looking for private tutoring jobs while she awaits your arrival as most if not all teaching positions are filled and the contracts signed
about this time of the month as school will be starting at the time of your arrival. at that point especially in the smaller cities there will
be no openings. the larger cities fill vacancies created by people who didnt make it back or have changed there mind or even quit shortly
afterward for whatever reason. there is always a chance of an opening but a lot of the schools start interviewing for the next term during
the current one. food for thought
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also when you get there have some cards made up 1 side english and the other side chinese that you are a teacher
pass them out everywere
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Thanks for the heads up mate...
This is what I intend doing...I spoke with Sophie last night and she is going to help with getting work...;-)
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Hi Rob,
This link could be a help, maybe. As far as I could see they have a lot of jobs. But I have never tried it. Hope it works for you.
http://jobs.echinacities.com/ (http://jobs.echinacities.com/)
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i would stick to the internet apps because the job fairs are killers here
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i would stick to the internet apps because the job fairs are killers here
Cmon be fair Ted.
You know this crowd was because word got out that I was in Town!!!!!!
Rob make sure you do as Ted says. Soon as you get there then start circulating infomation about your private tutoring. Take on private students then if you get a school job you can drop them or deal with them in your spare time.
You know the problems you had last time so do not rely on schools.
Willy
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Rob,
Best of luck on your job search. Follow Teds advise about the cards. Start letting everybody in your area know that you are in town and ready to teach. And about the accent, just tell them it is everybody else that has the accent! Your english is perfectly fine! Hehehe... ;)
Willy,
That is quite a crowd you have there. Why were they all looking for you? :o
Ted,
Where was that job fair? I guess that one would not drink several coffees or teas and eat a couple bran muffins before going to one of those! Hahahaha... :D
Dave C
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it was for 100 positions in Bejing at a company
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One thing that working for a school will get you is a "Z"or work visa. At the end of the day doing private tutoring on an L visa is illegal and leaves you open to being shaken down by the local police or at worst deportation,handing out cards with your name on might not be the brightest thing to do .Having a lot of students coming to your door is a bit of a give away too, so if you go down this route teach at the students homes and not your own. All it take is a neighbour with a chip on their shoulder to call the PSB and you've got big trouble. Get a job at a school and then by all means hand out cards if you haven't got enough private work already.
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I remember the 14 day run up to going last year..I had no idea of what what I was going to see or do, I had that disappointment of not having anyone to meet...(except the agency boss)...
This time it's different, a whole new ball game. It's a different type of feeling!!! The nerves are starting to jangle hehe This time I know for sure that I'll be met. The case is packed, (haha has been for ages), everything is sorted with the house, not had any replies about work though. On saying that, the first week will be spent getting to know my way about Zhucheng, and also taken up with Sophie and Peter (Son).
Am I counting down the days and hours, you bet I am. If it had not been for a certain member of this brotherhood, who wants to remain anonymous, I would not be going... So you know who you are, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I can now relate to other members feeling about going to meet their loved ones... :D
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Ditto!!!
Good luck.
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It seems to me to have been a long time ago that I made that journey to China. I can hardly remember those first few days at all. Other than it was a round of dinners, meeting all and sundry and finally deciding, very soon, that this was not the woman I had waited a lifetime for.
My one lasting memory is spending 13 hours on a plane sitting next to the longest legs and shortest shorts I had ever been that close to.
I spent he whole 13 hours sitting up straight, ensuring I did not doze off thereby not allowing my hands to fall accidently onto those rather nice legs. Can you imagine the mayhem that could have resulted in mid flight. Mile high club membership would have been nothing compered to the title 'thirty five thousand foot pervert'!!!!!!!
Little did I realise at that time that a new and completely unplanned couple of months of pleasure were to follow. Nice but it all came to a halt when I eventually met my wife and her love made me into the person I am today. A quivering bumbling shell of my former self!!!! No just kidding.
Just wonder how I got through all those years without having a wife before.
I have now enough memories to last me all my days.
So Rob when you get there have a little fun - sorry a non politically correct word there. Have a lot of fun. But start your job search right from the start. Leave it a week or so and I could be greeting you back in the UK before October is out. And I do not want to do that. (That is if I can get another spot of leave from her majesty. Sorry my wife I mean.)
You make no efforts in that first week or so and Sophie will think you a lazy bugger. Make the most of the days. You have the evenings to get aquainted.
She knows in the UK you have time to talk to her all and every day, but in China she will want you to work and show you can support her and the child.
And do not make her pregant. I just cannot imagine a Scottish_rob with slanty eyes running around crying 'auch aye the noo' and 'Stitch that Jimmy'
Watch that heart in your excitement. Coronary treatment aint cheap in China.
Willy
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Rob
Good luck, this time will be different.... ;D
If your accent interfers with job hunting, I will give you English lessons for free when I get to China on the 12th August...that should be fun !!!
"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain" !!!!!!! "How now brown cow"...see, its not so difficult is it ??
David
Haha...Och Aye the noo...See you Jimmy !!!!
It's a bricht brew moonlich nicht the nicht...For you normal English speakers, it means " The weather is lovely tonight"....haha... ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D
It does not mean that at all. And well you know it. In simple terms it means Rob is pissed again.
Willy
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Destination Zhucheng, Shandong Province... :D :D
Ok, today is the 27th, I fly out from Manchester (uk) on the 30th, arrive in Amsterdam, then flight to Hangzhou, finally onto Qingdao, arriving on 31st. Where I will be met by Sophie and driven (about a 3 hour drive) to Zhucheng. The journey will take - including the time from when I leave my house the night before - a total of 34 hours.
I read all the brotherhoods trip reports, and their meetings with their ladies at the airports. Even though I had been before I still got pangs of jealousy, because I had not experienced their joy and excitment that must have been going through their bodies. Well that is unil now, now I know what they felt, and boy, it is a great feeling... :D
I know it does not matter how long you speak to each other through other mediums, IT is the face to face meeting that will count. It is the first glimspe of the person, the first words, the first touch. Will she greet me with open arms, will we hug, kiss, shake hands. We have spoken about what we will do when we first meet. But things are said over the previous months, and sometimes may not happen. Will she really like me or I her, the face to face will tell. We will see in each others eyes, (well that is if she bends down for me to look into them lol) what we are truly feeling.
I have got to know this woman over the last few months, IF it does not work, I know we will still be good friends. Do I worry that it may not work out, of course I do, but if it doesn't I know it will not be down to anything that Sophie or I did wrong... It will be though other ways (family) and ideals of the Chinese culture. However, on saying that, I have a really GOOD feeling, so will approach this with my eyes wide open, and NO negative thoughts.
Sophie is a 'Traditional Woman' she tells me, she does not like the limelight, a simple, happy and harmonious life is all she is looking for, I will do my utmost to give her this. Last night we spoke about the meaning of 'Traditional Women'. I got to realise in my own way, that a traditional woman is someone who loves their family and loves life, someone who would not hurt another person. Someone who will do almost anything for harmony and happiness, and I am NOT talking about sex here!!! She will do all these things without being promted, and will give her pleasure to do so. In other words, she will TRULY love you. This is what we are looking for in our search, true love.
Our recent conversations has been about the negative aspects of China. Were these carried out to stop me going, NO, they were (in my eyes) from a woman who wants me to know the real China. Who wants me to know that I should be careful, who worries about me and my health She will do everything in her power to make sure I am safe and well looked after.
Well, the case has been packed and unpacked then repacked.. ;D just to check and double check I have everything I need. Now I have another 2 day wait til I leave. But these 2 days will be taking up with nerves and excitment. Last year when I went I did not really knowwhat to expect, this time I do, and I intend making full use of my time.
I learned from Josh the MOST important sentence that I will probably have to learn, Nǐ yuànyì jià gěi wǒ ma?..Lets hope i get to use it... ;D ;D
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Have a good safe trip Scottish , no hanging around looking for a translator this time , Robert and Sujuan .
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Well 1 hour to go before I leave for the airport... ;D ;D
God the excitement and nerves are geting to me, so much so, I'm up and down to the loo every 5 minutes..hahaha. Lets be honest, the first trip was exciting for many reasons, but this time it's different, I have other reasons to be nervous.. :o..I know what you guy's - who have done this - feels. I am usually pretty nervous guy anyway, even though I may not come across like that. Not looking forward to the flights, or the travelling, but looking forward to the 'Prize' that's at the other end ;D ;D
I will try and get to see a couple of you guys who are there, even if it's only for a day, I never made the trips last time, but this time I am more determined...We have spoken about this and Sophie would like us to do it. Would I make this trip, if I had not enjoyed the last one, possibly NOT. However, one or two members have said that China gets in your blood, this I think is true. I was captivated the last time, I was shell shocked at the country and poverty, but the people !!! The people were so friendly and helpful that the poverty is outweighed by their attitude.
Will I show my nerves when I get off the plane in Qingdao and walk through customs, I will NOT not too, I would imagine that I will have the biggest grin you will ever see. if I would have had the guts, I would wear a kilt, but I don't haha..Don't want the Chinese thinking they are being invaded by a madman. Don't really want to bring attention to myself, - not that I would, - as I do anyway because of you know what :D
This morning Sophie told me that her mom had promised to make dumplings for me, this is a big plus in my eyes, remember she does/did not agree at the start of our relationship ;D But I will take it one step at a timem both with Sophie and of course her mom and family. I also have a 'Home' there she said. ;D
Anyway guys gotta run. Will try to keep you updated as much as possible. so for now, Adios Amigos or should that be 'Zaiijian'... ;D
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Good luck Rob, Hope you have a calm restful trip. ::) ;D
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Good luck Rob.... 3rd time's the charm.
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Arrived safely, was met at the airport, she had the biggest grin I have ever saw. Will fill in more later. Just letting you know I'm here and we have met.... ;D ;D ;D
Oh and the dumplings mother made for us were exquisite.. :D
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thats great to hear Rob, cant wait to hear more!
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Lovely to hear Rob, hope you have a wonderful time there.
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well sounds like a good start. now what are you doing on here after just arriving???
you should be busy getting to know everyone face to face lol!!!!!
we will waqit for the updates
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Hello guys ;D
Ok lets start at the beginning. I arrived at Manchester airport in plenty of time for my flight at 09.25, on the 30th. The flight ityself was relatively uneventful to Amsterdam, there I had a 3 hour wait for the connection. So I looked about Schipol airport for a bit then found where I was to board for the next leg of the journey. This part was really horrible, in the lounge I kept getting banged into by these obnoxious kids, no hint of an apology or nothing ggrrr. So I gets on the plane and guess what they are sitting directly behind me, and there is a couple with a screaming child in from of me. Beside me are a man and women, who constantly shout at each other in Chinese, God what a nightmare of a flight. The saving grace was knowing that I was being picked up at Qingdao when I finally got there. However, I was looking out the plane window and noticed the wing seemed not to sit properly, so this put a little bit of a strain onto me..I watch all these disaster movies haha. When we landed in Amsterdam, the plane, because of the wind, did not land perfect. In hangzhou, after a 5 hour wait, we left an hour after we should have, because of the rain and weather. Anyway, we finally take off and I get to Qingdao... ;D
Your right Mike, it is and was so much eaisier the second time. I go into collect my baggage, and as I stand there waiting I hear my name being shouted, so I look about and see Sophie, she waves to me and has a grin as wide as the grand canyon (or for the english, the mersey tunnel hehe), so I am elated, I wave back, and you would probably have to take me to surgery to get the Grin thats on my face now...haha.
I collect my case and walk out, Sophie and I shake hands and give a little kiss to each others cheek. I found out that she had come there herself, (she does not travel much), she has brought me some food and OJ incase I needed it., we sit for a while and talk, then we go for a taxi to the bus station. Sophies Cousin was going to drive her to get me, but at the last minute he had to go to work... We sit in the stataion and while waitng for the bus, and start having loads of fun with our translation machines. Here English is not the best, but not too bad.. then we have to get on board, haha the looks from the people on board was hilerious. all I could do was walk by smiling and saying "Ni Hao". We sat at the back and we both feel asleep after a little bit (journey). She put her head on my shoulder and dozed off. It was a 2 hour drive on the bus. Once we got there. I realised I had passed through here on my way to Rizhao last year. I recognised a couple of places.
We get to her house and I am shown around it, later her son Peter comes So I say hello, and we talk a little. Sophie had to go to her mom's and she brought back dumplings, fish and chicken.
Today, while she went to work I walked about the place and went to the market for fruit and vegetables. Later on I come home and prepare some food for tonights dinner, rice, carrots, leek, with dumplings, and also a salad. After I do this, I remember that I have to register with the police. I get a taxi to the police station, I am there for about 2 hours, they had not got a clue what I was doing there, or what I was telling them. They called Sophie and told me to wait. They thought I was lost!!! ??? ::) Sophie arrives to pick me up and we head home, quite a walk, but this is good because I am spending more time with her, and it is helping me and her talking on the translator, her work gave her a bit of time off to collect me, so we walk home, have a little lunch, and now she has went back to work... :( >:(
Hehe she was telling me NOT to go far incase I get lost, she was thrilled to bits, when it was ME who showed her the way back to the house. Scotsmans intution haha (Nah, not drunk haha). So while I wait patiently for her to finish work I decided that I would write this up for you to read. Oh God those bloody toilets are a nightmare, haha nearly fell over once or twice hehe ;D ;D And yesterday, the taxi, the bus and food she has paid everything herself, she would not allow me to pay...
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Good on you Rob , a terrific read , regards Robert .
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A good read Rob, keep the updates coming as you can. Screaming kids, I bet you wanted to give them a good old back hander and then their parents for letting them be little tossers, I would have felt like that anyhow. I also know what you mean about waiting at home and getting bored and going for a walk whilst the boss is at work.
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Thank God your there. At least you will not be pestering me at 7am every morning!
Just kidding Rob. ? or was I?
Yes - and I expect to get your new phone number soon.
Willy
Do not be concerned about Noisy kids. They were excited as they thought you were their new class mate.
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Rob,
i dont think Willy was kidding about the early morning phone calls. no he probably was because i
dont answer his calls till after 10 am and i have had my coffee so i could understand clearly his
spoken english ::) ::) ::)
well i hope it all works out for you this time and sont mind the kids just makes you want to have a few
more right :o :o :o
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A good read Rob, keep the updates coming as you can. Screaming kids, I bet you wanted to give them a good old back hander and then their parents for letting them be little tossers, I would have felt like that anyhow. I also know what you mean about waiting at home and getting bored and going for a walk whilst the boss is at work.
Jason YOU are so right, you dont think any kid could be a so obnoxious, but these little brats were... truly...Grr. Yes The waiting is boring so I go out and about, I must have walked for about 10 miles yesterday, and then again this morning....
Yeah Ted I know what you mean, silly accent of his... ;D ;D
Last night after dinner we took a leisurely stroll... :o, We went to a park, where the buildings are old fashioned, we are going back there on Sunday so will get some pictures...Once we had been around the park, we were off again on our travels, (another 5 miles ???). We get to this street where there is a band playing, and some sort of show. I could not understand a thing but lots of things made me laugh about it. there was a parade of wedding gear, dresses and suits etc, and of course we choose one of each.. ;) It is amazing to think that these shows do not happen very much in England, but here they seem like they happen all the time...The lights on the buyildings and scenary is breathtaking...
There was this sketch of a family., the mother, naughty son and father. Well guys it was hilerious, the son was getting shouted at by the mother. He in turn started shouting at the father. The father kicked him up the jacksy, then the mother turned on the father. I could not stop laughing, as I said even though I could not understand a word... Once this was over we headed home. (when I started here I was 4.9, I think I may have shrunk!!!)
We got into the house pretty late, but still Sophie done a washing BY HAND !!!. I know now that the western way of life is so EASY compared to these people. They strive for every last yuan, and will try their best to make you as happy as possible. What a humbling experience :)
The place we are living is on School grounds, at 6am I hear the kids start to come into school, once it starts, all they ever seem to do is MARCH. I think this is either EXERCISE, or more than likely ARMY. But I think the Chinese believe that a healthy body makes a healthy mind... I have made a few friends, everyone wants to talk, I think I am the only westerner in Zhucheng, so EVERYONE stares..hahah.
Ok guys will update later. need to go and do something for luch for my baby.. :D
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Thanks for the wee bit of words on your journey Rob ;) . Your story telling is growing in leaps and bounds. I can tell by the easy strolling of your words that this trip has been so far more enjoyable for you. I still have yet to experience the squat toilets but I am wondering, you being Scottish and all, wouldn't wearing a kilt make it easier to go to the loo - you wouldn't need to get your body all off-kiltered ;D
Anyways enjoy the rest of your trip and I wish you good success on finding a teaching job, and more so, with the tugging of your heart strings.
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be careful outside when school is in they might think you escaped hahahahah
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Great to read the update Rob.
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Thanks for the wee bit of words on your journey Rob ;) . Your story telling is growing in leaps and bounds. I can tell by the easy strolling of your words that this trip has been so far more enjoyable for you. I still have yet to experience the squat toilets but I am wondering, you being Scottish and all, wouldn't wearing a kilt make it easier to go to the loo - you wouldn't need to get your body all off-kiltered ;D
Anyways enjoy the rest of your trip and I wish you good success on finding a teaching job, and more so, with the tugging of your heart strings.
Yes mate so much easier with a kilt on...And you are 100% right about this trip being more enjoyable ;D
quote author=ttwjr32 link=topic=2546.msg44266#msg44266 date=1283416154]
be careful outside when school is in they might think you escaped hahahahah
[/quote]
I know mate, I gotta keep looking over my shoulder so I don't get nicked...hahaha
Ok, so last night it was raining cats and dogs, Sophie was out away to her mom's to collect Peter, so I just played some music to while the hour away. Anyway they come back, Peter charges through the door shouting "Hello Rob' really excited, which for me was good news, later on we had a good old natter using translators, so all is good... :D
Sophie comes in 5 minutes after Peter, tells me to put my shoes on we were going out!!!..I pick up MY trainers and she say's to me "Bu", she precedes to point to Peters shoes 'thinking' they were mine, hahah we had a giggle at this...So I get ready and we head out. we go to the supermarket. Once I knew where we were, I thought maybe it was for some food for the next days breakfast and dinner...!!!
Stupid Scotsman I was TOTALLY way off... :o I took a basket and like a little puppy (woof woof) followed her about the shop. She picked up new slippers for me, then it was onto light socks, then new shoes, and finally a pair of shorts all for me. These shorts LOOK like they are long trousers on me hahaha.. I'm now thinking, thank God I put some money in my pocket before I came out :o...We do some other shopping (food) get to the counter and she pays for them all !! how nice was that!!!..I offered to pay it back but got a stern look from her... ;D
She still wont allow me to buy her anything when I'm with her, so I bought her a nice cuddly teddy when out shopping myself ;D Today it is bucketing down again :( But I will still go ouit and about, no one ever died of the rain (well not many :o) hahaha
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Rob,
have you been wearing the sa,me socks and shorts since you have been there???? hahahahaha
so have you looked into any teaching positions ?? or tutoring options?? you do know you can set
all that up and get married and change your visa to a L visa for 6 months or a year
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Rob,
have you been wearing the sa,me socks and shorts since you have been there???? hahahahaha
so have you looked into any teaching positions ?? or tutoring options?? you do know you can set
all that up and get married and change your visa to a L visa for 6 months or a year
WHAT...... you mean your supposed to change both socks AND............ short? :o...Oh bloody hell, the 2 pair of socks WON'T last me the 6 weeks then?....hahahahah
Going to start looking in earnest from Monday mate, have taken note of where the schools are, that's what I been doing on my walkabouts...
Today when I got back in, 3 of the school guards asked me if I would teach them... :D, at least it's a start... :)
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thats a good start remember 150 to 200 per hour
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Let's not forget that working here on an L visa is against the law of the land. Look for a job that will give you a Z visa and then freelance, why take the risk? Too much to lose if your planing on living here.
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true but he could get it converted if he lands something, but with school started might
have to wait for next term
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Let's not forget that working here on an L visa is against the law of the land. Look for a job that will give you a Z visa and then freelance, why take the risk? Too much to lose if your planing on living here.
Just remember Rob I have had my second surprise visit by the Police so be on your toes. If they come knocking at your door. Put on a silly face (you know your normal everyday one) open the door, grin and say Mama not here and pretend your going to be sick and ask them to come in to play. They are not going to want to deal with you and will be down the street before you can say 'can you get the spare chopsticks out my ass'.
Willy
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that would work willy
in fact you should have come to the door naked and drooling oh god now thats a bad thought
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Rob it is really good to see things started off so very good.Enjoy yourself good luck on the teaching jobs and thanks for keeping us posted
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So last night after dinner we go out for a jog !! :o, half way around, we turn to run backwards, easy peasy I say to myself...I being a smart ass, decides to show off, so I turn around at the same time as running and start to run again...YOU GOT IT !!! within seconds I am on the floor, head over heels, land on my right shoulder, and right elbow sticks into my ribs...OUCH. As you can imagine I am not in the best of moods, somewhat restricting ggrrrr >:( >:(
I am doing something here that I would never in my lifetime think of doing at home, getting up at 5.30am and cooking about 6 dishes for breakfast....God that's the middle of the night ??? ??? Well not getting up that early unless I had work to go to. I don't really know what it is but I feel that becuase she gets up so early, I must too. Of course sharing breakfast and everything (chores etc) is fun. god the chinese love their variety of food, it is a form of art too them-- rather than a chore..
I have done what I told her I was going to do, I said I would try the food, some I do not like, but others man it is gorgeous. Chinese cooking is so easy. Going to go into town today and see if I can use a phone somewhere to call the Uk, my credit ran out and I cannot get a voucher for 02. However have come up with a cleaver plan, call someone in uk, get them to get the voucher, give me the numbers and hey presto...should work.
We (she) has come up with a dietry plan for us :o, I am SO looking forward to this...hahahah NOT
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Willy send me your phone numbers by Pm would you please, i cannot seem to get through to the other ones...
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Willy send me your phone numbers by Pm would you please, i cannot seem to get through to the other ones...
What so you can ring me at unGodly hours. ;D
Ok will do
Willy
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that is probably a good phone call neither one understands what the other is saying ::)
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that is probably a good phone call neither one understands what the other is saying ::)
Bu ming bai..... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I knew there was something I wanted to mention, but it escaped me until I went downstairs there. I remember saying that I NOT seen a fat chinese woman, I take that back, since i have been here I have saw about 6, is this the state Capital for fat chinese women. :o
and no Willy Sophie isn't fat !!! before you mention it.hahahah
Oh got the phone thing sorted, they have a thing in China called a computer and you can gho online and do it.. ??? ::) ;D
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ah the wonders of modern technology
and bejing is loaded with fat chinese men and women never saw so many
in china until i spent a month there last month
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What so you can ring me at unGodly hours.
same time zone Willy lol!!1
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You know it's funny this time, I NOT even took one picture at all, I will do soon guys...
Ok so you know I feel and hurt my shoulder, all Sophie wanted to do was take me to the doctors/hospital. I PERSUADED her to leave ii til MONDAY. So yesterday she comes in from work tells me to put my shoes on, we are going out. GUESS where she took me, that's right the bloody hospital ??? I had acupuncture on it, and have to go back for another 4 days...
We leave the hospital and go shopping. She promised to to show me the real China!!. We went to the market place, now this place is about maybe a mile in all all directions. God it was massive, I tell you no lie, we spent about 2 hours there. The sights and smells were somewhat overpowering to the western pallate, but it idoes not affect the locals. Inside this market was the vegetable 'market' God half the stuff looked rank :o Truly and honestly people, I have seen some sights in the UK but nothing comes anywhere close to this heap!!! Anyway, were walking about the veg's and she decides to buy ours, Ok I thought, this is what I have been waiting to see. Well she jumps right in grabs handfuls of peas to check them and the same with peppers. Haha it was a pleasure to see a professional at work haha..well if 1 did not come up to scratch she would throw a wobbly hah I stood at the side of her watching to see if the stallholder would break down, haha. I could hardly contain my delight when the stallholder gave in to her. she got this big bagful and only cost her 1 yuan.
Next it was the Fish market, now I hate blood and gore and not too particular about fish smells either. I tell you it was all I could do to stop myself throwing up seeing all the bits etc. Then she asks me to choose a fish for dinner. I ooblidged and picked what looked not a bad size, well we had that for breakfast this morning yuk!!! I don't know if Sophie realises what I am telling her that I am NOT a big eater. every few hours she is cooking and trying to force feed me this amazing(sometiomes) stuff.
All I can say after the long long walk home, was THIS is how the other half lives. We in the west have really no idea of what these people do everyday. This morning I went to the shop for a light bulb, nothing major you would thinkl !!! duh duh...WRONG, She asked me how much it cost, cool enough question you would thing, so I replied 12 yuan, I am still trying to get her yelling out of my ears haha it would have cost her 9 yuan, she went ballistic over 3 yuan !!!! the equivelant to 0.25p uk, or 0.46 cents. So I have had my orders, and that is I no buy anymore, we buy together. ;D
will need to go now, be back soon
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I meant to say that the bill for the Acupuncture I am receiving was 109 RMB, for a 5 day session. I expected it to be painful, seeing as I have an aversion to needles, but it's not, the only thing you feel is the electricity massaging the inner muscles.
I spoke about how the chinese use any available space for advertising, well the same is done in the household :o She had me sewing the chillies onto a string to hang, saves space ;D I mean how much space DOES a bunch of chillies take up[ :o
So last night she told me that I will dumpling for you tomorrow, great I think. We go now for meat...We walked to one of the 5 large indoor markets in Zhucheng, I take about 300 Rmb out of my wallet to take and she say's 'Too Much', takes the money from me, puts it on table and tells me to take 10 Rmb.. :o :o So I'm thinking to myself, God we not gonna get much for that amount. Once we reach the place and go to the stall (which was interesting to see), she gets the person to cut a decent size, enough for the 3 of us, I'm thinking 'Oh God, I should have brought more with us', so we go to pay for it, total cost 4.20 Rmb. This piece of meat in the Uk woul;d have cost about 7 UK pounds sterling. I was totally gobsmacked. I tried to exp[lain to her about the costings exchange rate, and she was overjoyed because she had made a good bargain...Go figure. :o
On the way back, we pass people doing Tai Chi, so me being a smart Ass, tell her, 'Look Tai Chi', :o :o Tonight we are going to the place to do this, i have been informed. Willy, DavidE, Paul, etc etc What the hell have I let myself in for????
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There is only so much you can take of being accosted in the street :o I suppose it makes a change from me accosting them..hahaha
Got 3 students for a 3 hour tutoring lesson this Sunday sorted. One guy asked me "How much", I told him 100 yuan, he offered 30, so I laughed at his face and told him politely where to go !!!. I explained that I couild get anything between 100 and 200 yuan an hour, but for him I would give a 3 hour lesson for 225 yuan, this coupled with the other 2 staudents at the same rate is ok...
I have learned very quickly the rules of crossing the road ??? I just hold on to a locals teashirt and move when they do... ;D ;D Because of my sore shoulder, Sophie kept telling me last night, "Do not worry about work, fix shoulder first", but tonight she will get a surprise when I tell her the news...Hope there aint a backlash.. :(
Mike you were right about the heat, it is drivine me nuts !!! :o
To the guys that's given me their phone numbers and I've called, VERY nice to put a voice to the face... :) :)
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Rob,
thats great you might have found some tutoring to do but keep in mind and be careful with that as to work
on a visiting visa is and could be dangerous and lead up to a 5 year ban for coming to China. there are a few
ways to change that and if you want some suggestions then give me a message and you can call me to discuss
them. just would hate to see it become a problem for you.
Ted
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Thanks Ted may take you up on the offer..
I remember reading in a thread about Chinses woman telling you, you have somewhere to go, without forewarning you :o Well last night this happened to me and it was quite important that I had known some information about it. Let me explain...We sit down to dinner, I am feeling a bit shattered with all the walking about I have been doing, so I'm sort of looking forward to an hours Tai Chi and then relax for the rest of the night.
We finish dinner and as soon as the last mouthful is inserted into the mouth, she tells me, "We go now !!" So I go in and change into jeans and an oldish top, hey it's dark no one will notice. We start out along the road, and get to the place where the Tai Chi is supposed top be taking place...No one is there,I stop and she tugs at my arm and tells me "Come" so I follow her, so now I'm thinking we are just going for a walk!!!
We are walking for ages and I keep asking where are we going but this seems to fall on deaf ears. :o Anyway as we are walking she keeps looking up at the signs on the buildings, so I make a joke about it, "Haha ni lost haha" so we get to this place and she calls someone. Now I'm thinking it's her sister or mom, a few doors from where we are standing this young woman comes out HOLDING a volleyball!!!! So they two start to talk, the woman comes up to me and introduces herself, I say 'Hi' and duly take the ball from her hands (WHY!! I have no idea) so this woman starts asking me if I have taught before, and what is it that I teach!!!
Sophie had been given this womans information and tried to secure me an interview...WITHOUT telling me. I was absolutely embaressed and angry that she did not tell me.... >:( :oHad I known about it, I would have been smarter dressed and NOT grabbed the ball from her hands, what I'm saying is I would have made a better impression, because in my eyes, the first impression counts so much, well it does with me. But on saying that, It was a lovely gesture on her part. So I will have to explain to her that I really hate surprises like that
I have no idea how it was viewed by this woman, although I can guess...Ahh well there will be other opportunities ;D ;D Were on the way home, when she gets another call, from her mom this time. Peter is Tiao pi (naughty) so we have to go and collect him. Sophie wants us to walk home then she will get her bike to go and collect him!!! I just flag down a taxi and tell her to give mothers address to the driver, and we go and collect him.
Now I have not 'Officially' met the mother yet, and if truth be known, being dressed the way I was I did not want too. As it turns out I sat in the taxi while she went indoors to get him.
The drive to her moms house was interesting to say the least, not conversation-wise it must be stated, but in where she lives. The place looked really horrible (area) and dirty, so this has got me thinking, is this one of the reasons she is against Sophie and I, 'Is she embarressed!!!' How do I get around this? I will need to put my thinking cap on, because if it is, then it does not matter to me, not in the slightest :o
Anyway enough of my rant for this morning, I have decided that I am going out to find a KFC for some western food ;D ;D
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You know the saying ' Do Not Judge A Book By Its Cover' that applies to China housing as well. I have been to what is a run down block but inside the home I visit it has been a Palace.
Mid you I have also been to many that also match the outside as well!!!!!
Willy
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Sorry Willy, I was not judging her or the place really, what I was trying to convey, was that HER mother might have been embarressed about where she lived, the area I mean not her actual living conditions... The place that I and Sophie live now is not the greatest area, but I will say I have to agree with you, she does keep the house brilliantly clean, mind you, she don't have to do much, as I am not much of a slob in the house anyway... ;D ;D
I can say catagorically that I have been here one week so far. I have enjoyed it immensly, BUT can I live here, I really don't know (at the moment)... I have met many nice people, no one has been agressive towards me, except maybe the old woman in the next block to us. Every time she passes me she mutters 'Bu ming bai', points to me and tuts... ;D But as far as the way Sophie is treating me, she is brilliant. She won't let me do a thing unless she asks for my help, i.e cutting vegetables. She is the perfect hostess, and I feel like I am being treated like a king.. :-[ There is no doubt in my mind that fi we get married, she will care for me for ever...
Well I faltered by the wayside today >:( I ate fries and a cheeseburger :-[ I am only feeling embarressed because I LOVED every minute of it, and I guess I feel guilty... :D :D.. But I did 'EXPLAIN to Sophie that US westerners NEED good old fashioned western food at least once a week..hehehe I think she accepted that.. ;D. Well today was my last day at the hospital, so I had a few nurses coming in to bye bye to the Gwilo.. ;D
I bought Sophie a nice top 2 days ago, today I had to exchange it, it was a little big for her. Now having to explain to staff that 'you' are a stupid westerner not getting the size right, brought howls of laughter, and another couple of students if I want them....Now what I have learned from my last trip is that, NOT getting work last time, was maybe the right thing to happen. By my going back to the UK and trying to teach myself to talk slower...HAS worked...Qingdao was nice.... However I think this place is even nicer and friendlier, although some of the locals have told me to be careful.
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Rob if I did not know better I would think you just can't wait to get back to Barrow in Furness!!!! Remember this should be your last trip to China whatever happens. If you stay or if you go back to UK it will be your last trip to meet a lady. You know that. So keep on with your plans - settle down - forget this forum for a few weeks and the advice such as mine and come back and tell us all you are either staying or going home. Problem is you are addicted!!!!!
You get used to the food as Chinese cook and eat it or you build a new Kitchen with all the facilities of a Western One. Why the need for KFC and Western fast food, over cooked and oversalted.
After 3 days I knew that I was staying here and now 15 months later I knew I made the right decision. I regard China as my home.
My hair is now as dark as theirs. Funny how mine gets darker as I get older! Maybe I cannot read the instructions so clearly now!!!!!
Willy
Chinese people are never embarrassed about where they live. How they live maybe but not where.
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Hi guys
My snippets of information I am typing here is just that, 'Information' on my journey, I am LOVING this place, yes, of course I have a couple of slight problems, but NOTHING that cannot get sorted...Maybe I am coming across like I want to get back to the UK, THIS IS NOT SO...This is the last thing I want to do...
Myself and Sophie communicate really well we speak about everything, and like I said, I am being treated like a King... :D We have made plans to walk or jog, for about an hour after dinner every night, If nothing else, I will probably be the fittest Scotsman in China hahaha. I do think though that I AM the only Westerner in Zhucheng at the moment..
David thank you for the talk and info on the fish hehehe. Would have spoken to Willie, but the swine does not call me. (London Git) haahaha. Willy you know I'm only teasing ;D. Paul thanks too for the call last night, Sophie was over the moon to speak with someone who is my friend, she NOW knows for sure I HAVE SOME hahaha
There is only one thing that is on my mind just now, and it is in the process of getting sorted, and that is, getting work. I am out everyday looking about for schools etc, and Sophie has made a few contacts too for me...So like I say, it's getting worked on... :D
I mentioned about the market I visited the other day, well the morning I went back there myself, (I even bought something, now I know thats a strange concept, a Scotsman spending money), it is MUCH larger that I had mentioned, I have the blisters to prove it :o On top of that it was raining cats and dogs... Which brings me nicely to my little piece about last night.
As you all know, the heat over here is so much more than in the UK, well, we went for our walk after dinner, and I decided to wear the 'Shorts' that she bought me, with a tea shirt..of course there was a little drizzle and thought it would not amount to much....After 90 minutes and nearly home, the heavens opened up full blast, so Sophie got my rendition of Gene Kelly's 'Singing in the rain'. She was in howls of laughter, and the looks I was getting from the locals, I am sure they have NEVER seen 'A Mad Scotman Before".
Ted can you Pm me your phone number please, cheers buddy
Because she works everyday, our adventure together (days away etc) can only be done at the weekends, but not too worry, I have plenty things to do to fill the hours. And of course being a nice gentleman that I am ;D ;D I cook her dinner for coming in from work.. :) (Willy, hen pecked or what hahah). She has asked me to go to Peters school and talk to his class for a morning, she asked me before setting it up, this time ;D Don't know when this is happening, possibly sometime this week.
So like I said, I'm sorry if this read wrong about my feeling about here...I LOVE IT ;D ;D ;D
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Rob,
happy to see its going well . so i was wondering if you and Sophie have started the process for the two of
you to get married ? i ask because i know when your from the UK you have that 21 day waiting period before
you can get married. just curious how its going. Willy and i can bring our wives and join you in that festive day.
Ted
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Ted I thought I had to be here for 21 days BEFORE going to register the marriage? so was waiting for that time to elapse before going to Weifang to do said deed... :D
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yes i remember now Willy couldnt do his until he was here 21 days since his last entry then he waited 21 days after that
then was good to go
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Rob,
Glad to hear that everything is going well over there. Looking forward to hearing some good news from you in the near future.
Dave C
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Great to read your story Rob. I am happy for you, and wish you all the best for you and Sophie. I'll look forward to your next update.
Wils.
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Mike , while your waiting for Robert's version .. here is mine . That was in Guangzhou and I was just finished when Qing took that photo me playing Gene Kelly .
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Glad to be reading a completely different story form the last time you were there. :o ;)
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Things have been going really good between Sophie and I, so I thought I should ask her to marry me...So last night I did, .....she said yes.. ;D And this is done without the mothers blessing...
Went into the supermarket today to get some food for tonights dinner, picked up the usual, plenty of fruit, sausage, vegetables, fish and what I took to be 'Bacon' bits...Was speaking to one of the guards on my return and he was interested in what I had bought, so I showed him. :D The 'Bacon' bits I bought, turns out to be some sort of sliced 'EARS' ???...(they never had a pencil on it, so how was I supposed to know!!!) ::) ::) Will let you know how they taste, haha and Ronan I saw the Chicken feet, hundreds of them...hahaha NO BLOODY chance of me buying them, !!!
Once I had settled down this afternoon I saw what I can only describe as a brilliant sight. You all know where I live is attached to 'Zhucheng Hanghua Middle School', well all the students were on the grounds in front of all the buildings, about 2000 of them. I mentioned that I thought they either do exercise or military training. On the blow of a whistle, the students went in 'Squads' with a squad leader by the side of each one.. The whole school rhymed off some chant. Then on another blow of a whistle they al,l at the same time, set of trotting at the same pace, around in circles and in unison. Each squad had it's own 'tune'...It was amazing to watch.
The younger students had an older squad leader, and even these younger ones were in total unison with the older counterparts. AMAZING I cannot see this catching on in the UK though :o
In 11 days time, we go to 'Weifang' to register the marriage, So we will have to wait another 21 days, before the deed is done...but hey at least the process would be started.. :D I told her we would need to go to the Brittish Embassy or Consulate, and she told me no, that she had already checked this out...So all is good to go I think...
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Great news Rob. Congratz!
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Hi Rob
You dont waste much time do you....Speedy Mc Gonzales ;D ;D
Seriously...many heartfelt congratulations buddy....I am delighted for you both.
BTW...what sort of awful River fish did you buy at the market...goldfish I imagine (haha)...cant beat a piece of good Cod to go with yer fried ears, can you ;D ;D
Cheers...David
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Rob congratulations to Sophie and you , see she does need someone to cook and clean , oh and shop for pigs ears , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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soon she will have him doing the washing also as soon as she feels he knows
how to safely use the washing machine i think you left that one out Robert
i guess the cooking is ok she hasnt stopped him yet :o
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Congrats on the news Rob. I wish you and Sophie years of happiness together. Oh, btw pigs ears are pretty chewy and lots of gristle if i remember right and yes, definitely stay away from the chicken feet. I have a pretty strong stomach and will try anything once, but when Li gave me a cold one to try, it was a clammy, soft, a bit gelatinous taste, i imagine if you cut your finger off, boiled it and left it in the fridge overnight and then ate it, it would probably taste like the chicken foot i tried. My stomach turned over and i almost brought it back up...... Not the best thing in a restaurant full of people. ;D
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Will look today to see if I can get these pictures downloaded.., it's bloody annoying for me too, because I want to show them off too...
A few months ago, Mike O posted some pictures of a thing they do ever here called 'Cupping'..My shoulder was not quite healed and still a large bump on it which was tender to the touch. last night after a shower, Sophie took me into the room, massaged it with her hands, then used another implement called a 'Scraper' and used for another 5 minutes, then put these little 'Cupping' implements onto it. I thought they would be painful but theyr'e not !!!. This morning when I got up, I was checking my shoulder, the 'Lump' has almost disappeared, and only on a little bit of the shoulder is still tender. I can now move my arm like I could before the fall... ;D
The son stayed last night, God he is a nightmare, luckily enough I have had my fair share of growing teenagers, so I sort of know how to handle him, she lets him away with everything, her mother is like me very strict. So I found out he likes me.. ;D After last night :o I don't think he likes me very much now. BUT, sometimes they havce to be put in their place. So far Sophie is given me free rein in telling him off, especioally if he won't do what she asked him to do....She was worried that he may turn against me because i'm strict, but I told her straight, I am NOT here opr in a popularity contest, he is our son and should behave like a dedcent young man...
Again language misunderstanding, she thought it was just a case of us going to weifang and registering, but I mentioned that I need to go to the Embassy first, she told me that the embassy was in 'Jinan', so after about 2 hours on her translator and computer translators she NOW knows the procedure :o I had already explained this to her weeks ago...
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Rob congratulations on the engagement I kind of agree with Samuel this is a little new for the boy you may want to ease into this.At least maybe see how this is affecting him.Just looking at it from the outside.My children didnt exactly take to their new stepfathers.Just an observation best wishes for you and Sophie
Ron
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Scott thanks for the input here, I am going to be ('sort' of) giving a hand to Sophie with Peter, but it will not be my usual Father's control...If he does something I think is way out, then I say something, - just enough to let him know I am not pleased about it. He understands :D So far I only had to say something a couple of times, he does not hold it against me, everytime he comes to the house, as soon as the door is open he is shouting for me, and starts a conversation straight away...so all is cool :D
God we must have been really tired out last night, we lay down at about 7ish, for supposedly a 30 minutes nap and we woke up about 1am. The weather here has been dreadful the last couple of days, this morning it looks really nice, so 'We', as a family are going out this afternoon, nce Sophie comes home from work...
Yesterday at about 4ish my youngest daughter called me to tell me she found out she is expecting her first baby ;D That will be all my children now with children. ;D I already have 5 grandsons and 2 grand daughters.. She is not sure what she wants to do yet, whether to keep it or abort (she is 25, and not working at the moment.) So I told her, No Matter what you decide, I will stand 100 % behind your decision, so she was glad to hear that. Personally, I don't agree with abortions, except in extreme cases, but blood is thicker than water, and she knows what she wants out of life and possibly how difficult it is to be a 1 parent family...
Sophie is going to help me with some pictures today, help me download them..so should be able to see them later..;-) We had a bit of a spate (Misunderstanding) yesterday, I was all set for going back to the UK, but went for a long walk to think and clear my head. I realised that misunderstandings will be a daily part of our life because of our cultural differences and language. And if you want something hard enough, you will 'fight' through the demons to achieve your goals. Now it's all good again. Maxx is right (again) in what he say's, 24 hour rule, and people DO over think and over complicate things, which makes it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel...My tip when this happens, go for a long walk and clear your head.
I spoke with an English teacher yesterday, he told me that I should put an advertisement into the daily papers here, to let people know I'm in town...He is Chinese and his salary is only 2000 Rmb a month. God that works out at 166.86 Brittish pound or 309.89 American Dollars. The quivalent to 41 Brittish pounds a week!!! Although the cost of living here is relitive to the wage structure I think...
Oh yes, I meant to say, I am getting on great with all the neighbours, each one ask me (especially in the morning) if I have eaten... :D Many stop just to say hi to me, so all is good. I have noticed that even though they know I don't speak the language, they use hand gestures to convey what they mean, there atrre a couple here whose English is quite good, so it's not as if I have no one to speak with, this helps... ;D
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Rob. I was told that "Ni chi fan le ma?" which basically means "have you eaten yet?" is a polite way of asking if you have time to visit/chat or if they should let you go eat first. Of course it's a good sign that they are taking an interest in you.
Congratulations on everything so far. It's so nice to read that things are going better than last time. Good luck with everything.
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Ok guys, been trying all day with this bloody phone to download the pics, no joy...TOMORROW I will search this town for an internet cafe, see if there is someone in there who can help me do it....
Saturday lunchtime, Sophie comes in from work, so now we have the full weekend together. WE have some dinner, she gets called back into work, just before she leaves to go, they call back, NOW she is NOT needed to go in...AAAgggghhhhh
Wer head out (after her changing and changing, and changing again) she has mentioned a park that she wants to take me too. It is 30 minutes away on the bus. While waiting on ours 2 buses pull up, and won't leave the stop until every passanger has taken a good look at me...What can I do but stand there and smile and wave etc...But it does get annoying heheh. Anyway the bus comes we get on and pay the heavy fare 1 yuan, for any distance...
we get to this park, it's called Weihai Water park, now the name will become evident later on in this story. It is beautiful, and very, very large. While walking we spot many different things, like for example a fun fare is permentantly situated inside it, we take our shoes off, and walk barefoot on the grass. Imbedded into logs at given points there are speakers where the music is played all over the park, delightful. The park itself is situated on the banks of some river, cannot remember the name, and inside the park there is a lake...
We take lots of pictures of the statues and each other of course, and I get someone to take some pictures of me and her together.. Anyway, in the park there is a massive area that holds many people, they stand there to watch the 'Water' being sprayed up into all different shapes. At night when the lights are on the water are all different colours apparently.
Anyway, when Sophie or I are talking and need the bathroom, we have a code word, this is 'Flood', it makes us both laugh, well we are simple people. We make our way around the park buy ice-cream and water etc, she has a craving for 'Pea Ice Cream' ..yuk When I say craving I mean everytime we buy ice cream thats the flavour she wants...As we are heading towards the boats to take out, she noticed that the 'Showers' had started, so grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me towards them.
I was astonished at this, this was magnificent to see. Sophie positioned herself directly behind me as we got closer, and as soon as they started again, I got pushed right into it. ;D ;D I laughed my head off, and run back out grabbed her and lifted her in as well, we were both like drowned rats. The locals were laughing there heads off at this, She kept putting me in, and me trying to get her in too...We had so much fun. As we were leaving all she could do was laugh at me, point at my trousers and say 'Flood' she thought this was hilerious.
Of course I too thought it funny, I forgot that the clothes she was wearing were so thin, and when the water covered her, they became transparent hahah nice one !!! hahah..I think I may have a picture to show you, nah I won't hahaha. We get back onto the bus to go home I looked at the time on my phone, and discovered we had been there for 6 hours, and I am sure we did not see everything. When we got home, she was still laughing her head off, when telling everyone about our day.
Because her mother and family do not agree with us, she will not hold my hand duing the day, she will when it's dark, this is the only low point for me, she is afraid people will talk, me, I don't give a damb, but I gotta think of her and her feelings on this. However, on the bus coming back from the park and again today, coming home from town she did hold my hand, heck she even gave me a smacker on the bus...
I will get the pics as soon as I can guy's I promise...
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Rob. Good story. I enjoyed it. Keep adding to it and well you know. Pictures when your figure it out.
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Well Rob.... after your day in the park I can see that you are still wet behind the ears but still have great experience to share with us. Thanks for the update even though you only drew a picture in words instead of showing us a soggy pictures for us to drool over her dripping situation.
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Ok for you 'Experienced' guys, please help....
How the hell, do you get the lady to STOP feeding you... :o
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Rob
You mean:..."Its a braw, bricht moonlit nicht the nicht "?? ( If I may quote Rabbie )!!!
Also, if you want to know when your wife/fiance/girlfriend/partner has mastered English ask her to say:
"Round and round the rugged rocks, the ragged rascal ran"...or
"The Leith Police dismisseth us" (a lot of us native English speakers have a problem with this one !!!)
Ming has me convulsed with laughter when she attempts it, but she is determined to speak it (as she says) "like an English lady !!!!
Please tell Ming even after six years of high school -I would still have problems with this one!!! Good luck and God bless you Rob with the visa -job and your future!
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I guess there is only one way i can think of....die !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(said with humour of course) ;D ;D ;D
She most probably wants to see your waistline equal to your height !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = prosperity.
Keep on troughing buddy....
David
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i guess that depends on what she is feeding you. i dont know about you other guys but my wife and
i have a great breakfast, a great lunch, and a small late in the evening dinner 7 or 8 pm but in between
she will always cut an apple or peices of watermelon or other various types of fruits and vegetables to have
a little snack. my favorite is the grapes so its not really fattening to eat these small portions in between.
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If I go foraging in between meals or if I am caught doing if Peggy will try to get me to eat more at the next few meals. She doesn't like me foraging.
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Ok for you 'Experienced' guys, please help....
How the hell, do you get the lady to STOP feeding you... :o
You have to feed her BACK .... fight fire with fire ::)
Yes Mike has the Correct answer. I had tried everything and then she will stop eating and I start putting my food on her plate. She says no more no more I am full.
I say me too. Been trying this a couple weeks now it is working well. I have tried to tell her give me a break. When we get Home to the US there are 2 little girls there waiting for us. I promise they are always hungry. she seems to like that idea.
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And another thought on feeding DO NOT teach your wife how to bake things we bought a lot of stuff in the
western supermarket for that after i bought the stove here. now Sara will bake these delicious different deserts
and places all the blame on me for the weight gain. now go figure that one out ::) ::) ::)
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I just told my Wife , I can only eat what you can . Also reminded her , I'm a size 32 (waist ) and now my Pants they are all too tight .. this leaves even less room when eating . That was it .. honestly ! But , when there are Dumplings .. I seem to forget all this myself . Haha
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Jimmy has the right answear.It took me about a month to break my wife.Of always trying to feed me..Everytime she puts food in your bowl.You put two pieces of food in her bowl.They do learn after awhile.
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Thanks guy's I'll give it a bash... :o As Mike say's 'Fight fire with fire'... ;D :D
As you are probably aware, I went to look for a shop to help with downloading my pics. After 3 maybe 4 hours searching I gave up. Apparently in this part of town there is no 'Internet' Cafe, I need to go to the south of the city... ???
I have not met any of her family as of yet, and by the looks of it I never will. >:( >:( They don't agree with us as a couple, again, you guess the reason. gggrrr but hey IT'S their loss not ours. I must admit though I do feel sorry for Sophie she is the one stuck in the middle of it all, I mean what right do her family have to tell her who she can have as a husband/boyfriend/friend.
Last night she got a phone call from her big sister, they had made arrangments to go and buy food for the family for Mid-Autumn Festival. So as a dutiful 'Husband to be' I put in my share...Anyway, after the phone call she tells me that her sister is coming to our home. She got all excited and dragged me into the room to get all dressed up for her arrival, she picked out a nice dress shirt and trousers for me etc., she was extatic (spelling) that her sister was coming to her house, none of her family have been to see the place yet... >:(
A few minutes after I'm dressed and spruced up, she gets another call. Her face turns red with anger, she tells me her sister will meet her at the door. She is visably upset and angry at this. But she is MORE concerned on how I feel about it. All she can do is say 'Sorry' and does so repeatedly. Personally I don't give a rat's A..e, but I do not like to see Sophie upset. Sometimes I feel like just going to the mothers and sisters door, and telling them exactly what I think of them - for Sophies sake. But I know they would not understand what I was talking about, so it would be a wasted journey, BUT, it would make me feel a damb sight better... :D Although we have not met, her mother sends Dumplings and other food round for me, Sophie says this is the Chinese way of things!!!
2 days ago Sophie handed into the guards her Id card and a copy of my passport and visa. She tells me that it is NOW official in the eyes of China, we are cohabitating..although not man and wife, but will be seen as such.. Yesterday I was approached by 2 beggers in the street, gave them something and saw lotrs of others just turn their backs on them :o Mike told me once this would happen, and if I gave something they would approach all the time. Well it was true, once wasn't enough they kept coming back...This old feller had a buindle of yuan in his hand but still approached others. I suppose they gotta do something to get money... ???
Haha I went into China Moblile looking at Phones, all the girls recognised me ---Don't know how ::) :D
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I must admit though I do feel sorry for Sophie she is the one stuck in the middle of it all, I mean what right do her family have to tell her who she can have as a husband/boyfriend/friend.
Do we really need to answer this question? You know that in China, the family is everything. In their culture, they have every right to tell her who she can have as a husband/boyfriend/friend.
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Do we really need to answer this question? You know that in China, the family is everything. In their culture, they have every right to tell her who she can have as a husband/boyfriend/friend.
I know martin... ::)
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you know there could be a multitude of reasons why they dont approve. the best approach is
finding out the root cause of this and then taking it from there. but i wouldnt go give them a
peice of your mind that is just a disaster if you do that.
if i remember correctly and if i am wrong please correct me, but didnt Irishmans ladies parents
not approve of it at first and look how that has turned out. he is now part of the fsmily and the
wedding is in 11 days.
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Yeah Ted I think your right there...
Sophie must have had a go at the sister last night or something, today while I was out, I got a call from her. She told me that I will meet her family at Mid-Autumn Festival..... :D
Do all Chinese mix all the foods intogether...This morning I had for breakfast:
Homemade Bread, sliced thinly, Potato on top, then Peanut Butter (YUK) spread on top, then it was all rolled up into oblong sandwiches. Baozi, Porrage, Mooncake, hard boiled eggs and fruit...Man what a mixture.. A simple egg sandwich does me fine at 7 am in the morning... :o. I wonder what it is you know, I am going to bed about midnight, then waking up at 5.30 am and helping to make the breakfast. I walk everywhere during the day and then for an hour at night..., although it must be said this town is MASSIVE. I am on the northside of town apparently.
I found ashop today where after some negotiation, I will take my computer in tomorrow afternoon and get Windows XP (English version) reinstalled, hopefully that should fix the problem I'm having trying to download the picture... Total cost with data pen 150 yuan...
Last night after Sophie comes back from shopping with her sister, she tells me to strip and lie on the bed.. ;D Then she goes into the other room and comes back with an assortment of Massage equipment, (I already told you about these), anyway, she ends up giving me a massage for about an hour, God she found all the 'Pressure' points, and really stuck her thumbs in them, til it hurt. But this morning I feel brilliant, no aches or pains or anything... :D Magical hands, can cook and bake, what a catch !!! ;D ;D
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eating here is quite the experience with no regard like we have with certain foods for
breakfast,lunch or dinner. and if you have leftovers then the next meal is quite interesting
also. i like the multitude of vegetables with every meal. just dont like to walk EVERY day to
buy them but she wants the fresh everyday. but your right the meals are quite the experience
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2 nights ago, while we were on the running track, the neighbours came down and sat watching as I done my usual exercises and keep fit routine. 2 of the women started running behind, copying everything we were doing, so we slowed right down so they could catch up. They started talking to Sophie and laughing, (guess it must have been at my 'LONG' shorts I was wearing) hehe. Anyway, one of them grabs my arm and pretends to run off with me, everyone giggles. I grab at her arm and pull her along as I start to speed up, she is screaming her head off (in a good way), I guess it must have been 'slow down, slow down' so I let her go and we all laughed our head off.
One of the neighbours is a very old gentleman about 75 or 80 he was in stiches with laughter, so I gestured to him to follow me, after a little persuasion from the others, he did. We kept at a nice pace for him, til we were halfway around the track and he had to stop for air., we walked the rest of the way back to everyone. On the walk back, he was hugging me and talking fast chinese to me, but the jist of it was, he likes me I think !!! We get back to the group, and he starts pulling me around the track again, but this time we go to the obsticle (exercise) course at the other end. He precedes to give a demonstration and wants me to follow suit. Everything he done, I did. It was as if he felt he was in compaticion with me. Anyway the only thing I could not do, were the pull ups because of my shoulder. He took great delight in telling everyone, that he beat me on the exercise course ;D
Later that night, Sophie has a torrid time with Peter, he got into a right strop because we would not let him use the computer or my translator - which has games on it apparently :o..He was like a little spoiled brat, I tried to speak top him, but he just blanked me.. Last night, give the boy his due, he apologized profously to me, he said he felt ashamed of his behaviour towards me. It take a big guy, to acknowledge when he has done wrong, so I shook his hand to let him know all was cool. I don't like the way he talks to his mom, he has that arrogant typical rebelious teenager traits, and I have had enough of them to last me a lifetime...BUT, together, we will cope with him.
Yesterday Morning, Sophie and I got talking on yahoo while she was at work., and she was asking me about my feeling being in China etc. So I started to explain them to her, everything was ok. I went out to the shop, to see about the phone and computer, which I think is NOW fixed, I will look soon, as I am using hers just now. Anyway we strated texting each other and the subject again got onto 'My feelings'. I did not want to lie, so I told her the truth., that I was missing my kids, the whole Western way of life, the language barrier, the food and because of that and her family being against us, and not being able to get work, maybe we should break up. That's when the Shit really hit the fan!!!
Won 't gop into detail, would take too long, suffice to say after about 3 hours on the phone, we decided to meet up back at the house and talk things through. The thing that struck me was, that she was taking the blame for this. I explained that it wasn't her, that it was me, but, no she felt it was her fault. Basically it was NOBODIES fault, it was a combination of things and events. Anyway, once we start talking, we realised then and there, THAT we DO love each other, and that 'Breaking' up IS NOT the solution... We are going to work things through, with everything, and as far as her family go, I have not to care what they think, it is 'Her and I' that is the main priority. ;D And you know what, she is right ;D
So there you go guy's did not want to 'spoil' Ronan's big day and rant on here :o
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Rob, my hat is off to you. You are sticking in there and making a difference in both of your lives.
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Rob,
allow me to add some advice here,
living in China is not an easy thing for us at first. it is a totally different country than what we are used to
and have seen traveling around the world. but when your here the biggest mistake you make is adapting to
and doing everything the chinese way. you have your own culture and heritage that you must also blend into
the relationship. its what makes the world a unique place.
as your wife introduces you to her world and culture also do the same for her. dont change who you are to
appease everyone around you. start to learn the language even though it is not the easiest thing to do and
i have started to learn how to read it as that seems to help far more when your out and about as everything is
in chinese and for me i have found that easier to do than learning to speak. go figure that one???
keep in touch with your family thru web cam,skype, thru pre decided times that you have set up. as far as work
well that is something that will come but you will have to be here for a while longer. as you get to know your wifes
freinds and family then they start to find out what you want to do, and soon thru them you have so much to pick
from for work. this works when you come here without a prearranged job.
you seem to be going back and forth but just hang in there and over time you will see that it truly is a good place to
live and work or play. start thinking long term and doing what you need to do long term to stay here as far as visa's
and such and all the other things start to fall into place. forget about the return ticket and act and do as if you were
here forever and you will see a big difference in the outcome.
so remember these key points:
1-- think long term (your here forever)
2-- blend both cultures (in everything including eating)
3-- learn to read or speak the language
4-- meet people because thats how it will happen for jobs
in the larger cities go to the functions for the business leaders from western countries (lunches,events)
you will be surprised what you find there to help business's make it more appealing for westerners. you
turn into a consultant and help the chinese who attend these better their business appeal to westerners.
the largest was going to a hospital looking over all there signage and making the corrections. also giving
them ideas were to put other english posts. 4 hours of work and a free dinner and you come home with
2000 rmb. although most are some free products, free dinners and rooms at hotels, free dry cleaning and on
average 3 or 4 hundred rmb that goes along with the free products.
the most time consuming one took almost 2 months but a small chain of western supermarket stores (8 total)
and you redesign and re market them and that was worth over a 1000rmb of free products,travel paid, and a
35,000 rmb payday. so its there just takes a lot of time to develop
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Ted...that is some really excellent advice for anybody thinking of moving to China.
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Ted...that is some really excellent advice for anybody thinking of moving to China.
Martin,
thanks i do have my bright and shining moments in the sun. people coming here think its all wide open
and just out there to grab. it is in a sense but it takes time,dedication,commitment but i want to emphasize
TIME.
also people think i have a little capital so i will go to china and start a business EASY right NO NO NO
that takes even more time and even more money to get off the ground along with what you have to deal
with in permits and approvals.
there is nothing you will bring to china that isnt being done or was done before. they key is doing it better
than they do and once you get it started thats easy to do -- do it better-- just far to much time wasted each
in business here which equates to nothing getting really done unless your the poor schlep working in the
factory, then you have to get it done or they fire you.
just felt like i needed to tell Rob 6 weeks is far to short of time to get anything done here. thats just a vacation
really. but to stick it out long term
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Robert
I'm going to add some stern words here too ;D ;D ;D
Management Rule #1...."When it is NOT necessary to make a decision, it is necessary NOT to make a decision......."
Of course you are homesick, of course you feel the stress of a new relationship, new culture, strange food, difficult communication and so on...thats normal, but dont quit yet, give it some time, let the experience speak for itself.
Management Rule #2...."Dont chuck the Baby out with the bath-water......"
Whatever gloom you are feeling (as above)..it aint Sophies fault !!!!!, all she wants to do is to help you through this understandable tough patch, but the same cultural impediments apply, she probably cant tell you exactly how to make it better, but she would be busting her gut to try........remember that.
You know you have a bunch of guys here who will do everything possible to help you "stabilise" ;D ;D.....so chill out Haggis-breath !!!!!
Cheers...David
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Rob, I forgot to say "congrats" for your lovestory with Sophie.
I hope you can go through all the "little" problems that can occur (and the other ones) because of the family, and I'd be really glad to read more and more about your story with Sophie.
and please, give us some pics, man, don't keep it for yourself on the computer ;;)
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When I went to China on my first trip, I went for a month. There was a day that I started to feel "homesick". For me, this was a strange feeling, because I am used to being away from home for very long periods of time. At first, I could not figure out why I was feeling this way. Was it because I was thousands of miles (or KM) away from home? I doubted that, because again, with my job, I am always thousands of miles (or KM) away from home.
Then I figured it out. It was everything that is China that had me missing home. Don't get me wrong Rob, I love China. But everything was different. The food, the language, the street signs, the way things are done....I could not find anything that was familiar or similar to home. I couldn't just wake up, make a cup of tea (Orange pekoe), load it with sugar and milk, and get my day started. Everything I did was done the Chinese way, because that's where I was. Hell, even McDonald's wasn't the same over there.
The point I am making is, that you are not alone in feeling "homesick". I think it is because of the reasons I told you. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is different, and it is a lot to adjust to.
On another note, I do have one concern. In the past week, I have read two conflicting things in your trip log. Several days back, you mentioned that the two of you were going to get married. Yesterday, you were prepared to call it all off, and go home. My only concern is, I do not want to see you rush into a marriage that you are not prepared for. You have to get married when it is right for the both of you. If that means giving it time, because you need to be sure, then so be it. The rest of us here are always here to support you in your decisions, and help you whenever we can.
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Been in UK a week now. Saw something of Barrow in Funiss. My God now I realise why China appeals so much. They are expecting you back very soon though. Is that going to happen? or shall I get them to cancel the pipers.
Willy
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Ah Willy , you got that wong , it was cancel the PAPERS regards Robert .
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Ted great info helped a lot. So did the rest of you guys...Thank you all
I started this trip with a period of 6 weeks, BUT, when those are up, I will be going to Hong Kong and then back for a further 6 weeks... I am NOT ready to give up just yet... Barrow in furness (home) of course I'm missing, God I NOT saw a tv in my time here, so just missing the usual drivel that's on the goggle box...As Ted said, once I start 'thinking' I am here for good and NOT a holiday, things will happen.
Yes martin your right, NOTHING is the same, and as Ted said, you gotta adjust to fit, THAT'S WHAT I INTEND TO DO. There is a saying that' 'Home' is where the heart is, mine is here in China..I know it may not seem like it at times but it really is guys...
I also realised about my conflicting storylines. I can assure people here that I AM NOT rushing into a marraige... I am prepared for it, doubts happen sometimes in life, now mine are over, and I know what I want..
Pictures are in media section guys... :D
David I know it ain't Sophies fault I have never blamed her mate. In fact it was me who told her this...Believe me, when I first started speaking to her about it, SHE was trying ALL ways to prevent it happening...and I mean all ways... TRUTH BE TOLD... I LOVE THIS PLACE... and Sophie. Everything WILL fall into place when I least expect it. She was blaming herself, she thought SHE was not doing enough to keep me happy. Which of course was NOT the case. She has been the perfect girlfriend anmd host anyone could have...
Last night for a change, Peter (the son) came out and joined us on our daily exercise and run, this was really unexpected, because all he ever does is play on computer or school work. We had to prevent him from using the computer because of reasons mentioned earlier, so I think he has resigned himself to the fact, he cannot get away with things like he could before...The neighbours were interested in finding out about Brittish money, so I had to interrupt our exercise (on Sophies's orders of course ;D) to come upstairs and get it to show them and explain the differnt combinations of currency to the people. Everyone is really nice here, they are treating me well,. Someone said that the longer you are there, the more people see you, they begin to trust you, I already feel this trust built up...Hahaha they talk to me in Chinese expecting an answer, and then it dawns on them I can't speak much. You can sometimes see the frustrating looks upon their faces, which must be on mine when speaking to strangers....
The more I am seen about, the more people chat with me, the less 'staring' happens. One of the guards here wanted to be my friend, so we exchanged phone numbers, he sends me texts to say hello etc. He noticed I bought packs of cigarettes (for family etc) to be sent home. He sent me a text asking WHY I was leaving China, he and others did not want me to leave, I am his best friend he said, and he would be upset if I left...Trying to explain that these were gifts ONLY, he could NOT grasp the concept of posting home :o So yesterday, I showed him them wrapped up in a parcel..he finally got the idea I think...hahaha.
Anyway looking forward to this weekend, I 'think' we are going to Beijiing, need to wait and see what her majesty say's... ;D
Willy cancel the Pipers, Papers, Gas bill etc etc.. ;D
I meant to say, I tried 'Mooncake' the other night, it was quite nice, a bit stodgy but nice none the less. Been practicing making Dumplings, cannot 'Roll' them out, BUT can fill them and fold them hahaha. She like me helping in the kitchen, I figured it out, THIS IS...HER domain... 8) Won't allow me to wash clothes yet..NO Ted, everything HAS been washed ;D ;D ;D
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Rob I have been reading you posts and things, well a long time. You are a pretty sharp guy. It is all very nerve racking. But I know, that you know what to do.
after I quit second guessing myself on a lot of issues. all things have gone smoother. Trust yourself you are gonna be just fine bother.
Glad all is well for you.
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Ah Willy , you got that wong , it was cancel the PAPERS regards Robert .
OK Papers cancelled andthe milk. Not the pipers though. Half of the UK is on the streets celebrating for the visit by the Pope. Or so I thought. Turns out that they are celebrating the non return of a certain scottish gentleman. The Laird of Barrow in Furniss.
Willy
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Willy they might be celebrating Robs non returning, but the celebration will be on a
grand scale when you leave there.
you know the queen is walking around the palace saying these words;
" who let him thru security"
" find out who checked him thru"
" we had him out of here"
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Willy they might be celebrating Robs non returning, but the celebration will be on a
grand scale when you leave there.
you know the queen is walking around the palace saying these words;
" who let him thru security"
" find out who checked him thru"
" we had him out of here"
And...
I want to Knight him...with the SHARP end of the sword...hahahah ;D ;D
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Last night I was invited to play a game of 'Yang Shou'...Don't ask me to tell you the rules, I HAVE no idea.... :o BUT I did my best. As far as I know it is a milatery type game a bit like Chess, only the discs are 'Milatery', Cannons, Artilary etc... So I partook,..... after all I had been watching the people playing everyday, it must be easy...right !!! I must have won, because the man I was playing stormed off and everyone laughed at him !!! :D Haha I was just remembering where to place the discs, I have NO idea what I was doing hahaha, but it was fun... ;D ;D
Today while downstairs having my 'English' coffee, 2 teachers came up and spoke with me. They told me that 'The Headmaster' asked them to 'Invite' me to their class to 'speak' with the students :D I had already spoken with the 'Headmaster' the otherday, and I did not realise it, untill 1 of the teachers pointed him out to me this morning :o I gratefully accepted their invitation, after all I would be a 'FOOL' not to.... :D
God, things have become so much easier, since Ted's advice and me NOT worrying about things so much...I know it was only a day or so ago that it was given. Maxx once told me, that 'People' can ruin things for themselves because 'they' get inside their own heads too much. This I think is what I had done, thinking like a western holiday maker, when in fact, I want to live here. The good thing I know is that if there is any difficulty with anything, there are people on this site who can help in any (possible) given situation...
I also 'helped' someone move into the flat upstairs this morning. I know this may sound 'stupid' but, I happen to feel a lot fitter since I come here for some reason, I think the walking and daily exercise is helping me... Maybe because I am watching the kids do their morning exercise, that I am trying to please Sophie ;D ;D
Another way to look at things, 'A Healthy Body, Leads To A Healthy Mind...'
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ALLS well until your body tells you so,methings wrong hahahaha :o :o.
So whats the plan for the class?? what will you proceed to talk about and
do,as they will probably want you to cover 30 to 45 minutes.
Run it by us and we will give you our opinion hahaha
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Well the afternoon class was very interesting.. I got guided into the class and there was rapturouse applause for me. So I settled them down and started. I wrote on the board, 'Hello, my name is Robert'...
There were 35 students and 3 teachers there, one of whom was the 'Head' - he stayed for about 20 minutes of my talk.
I introduced my self, told them about my family, hahah even drawing little figures on the board to explain their height in comparison with me. They seemed astounded that I had so many children.. Anything that I could not explain 'properly' the usual teacher explained, which, for once was NOT much. Their English is not great, but I have heard much worse, I mean HAVE you ever tried listening to Willie hahah ??? I told them Why I came to China, and Zhongcheng in particular, well in as much as I came for a holiday, did not want them misconstruing why I was here. On saying that, once I got them to ask question which they had prepared earlier, the subject of girls came up. So I explained who I was seeing and when we hoped to marry. They seemed to like this because I had chosen a Chinese wife.
I took into class with me a 'Map of Europe', to show them the size of the UK in comparison with China, by all accounts they thought the UK was pretty large, until it was explained that the cpouintry can fit inside china about 10 times..hahah. I tried my best to make the 40 minutes interest9ing andf fun. The usual teacher was floating about me and I just pretended to push him out of the way and make gestures which the class thought was very funny. Even the head master at one point, when I glanced over was laughing his head off.
After about 30 minutes the questions came flooding up:
1 what is intersting about China, to make me come there.
2 what's my favourite colour
3 Do I like chinese food
4 what's my favourite chinese food
5 what is Uk food like
6 have I been anywhere else in China
7 what is my favourite place in china, which I aaid Zhucheng - to much applause ;D
8 Can I help them Grammer
9 Is Chinese easy to learn for a westerner
10 whaqt did I think of Michael Jackson
11 AND... Will I sing a song for them...So I gave a rendition of 'Happy Birthday to you' - there was much laughter at this choice...hahah
And there was a few other questions which I cannot really remember. Then it was over.
Before I left the teacher asked if he could get a picture of us together, of course I said yes. Once that was taken, well 2 were taken, he asked if any of the students wanted their picture with me, the whole class rose in unison. I thought was the f... hahaha :o So their were obviously no room in the classroom for everyone, so they were taken with a few of us at a time.. Once that was over, there was much applause and everyone wanted to shake my hand including the other teachers who had stayed for the whole lesson. At that the teacher walked me out, and told me that he and the head master would be talking today. with the prospect of offering me a job because they wanted me to work there !!! This I did not expect, I thought it was just a little introductory session for the kids, maybe that's why I did not feel any pressure !!! anyway here's hoping :D
So can only now wait until Monday to see what happens ;)
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Rob good job.See what happens when you don't over think things.
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Way to go Rob!!!! Hoping the best for you. I told you to stop over Maxxing things and everything would be fine. :o ::)
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I just knew my vocal training sessions with you would pay dividends. The bill for your course will follow shortly!!!!!!
Willy
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So I thought we were going to be heading for Beijiing this weekend.. :o Seems like I was wrong, AGAIN :o :o
aS IT HAPPENS, WE WENT TO another park, this will have been my third one since I got here. This time it was the Dinosaur Park. Apparently, Zhucheng has the oldest Dinosaur fossils in the world, so I thought 'OK, this should be interesting'...
We get to the park finally, and have a walk about, like everything else here in China, things are on a grand scale, they don't do things by half these Chinese... ;D After about an hours walk within the grounds, NOT even a third of the way around it yet, I ask Sophie to take us in to see the fossils!!!. We precede to the main door and go up to pay the entrance fee!!! She asks the lady how much it is, and the reply comes back 80 RMB. Sophie drags me away from the door and starts to walk away !!! ??? I am like, 'Ok, whats happening?' She tells me "it is too expensive, we go next time"..NOW, I am beginning to get a grasp on her way of thinking..."NEXT TIME" = NEVER COMES :o
We start off again and I'm thinking to myself, what the F..., I would like to have seen them, it must have been showing on my face, because she takess the translator from my hand, and writes, they NOT real, real ones in Beijiing...So, NO pay that amount for fake to see...The one thing I have really noticed about her, is that she will NOT pay over the odds for anything. When I am with her and want to do something, she tells me to wait, and goes and does the deal without me there.
As we are walking and looking at everything, she notices a boat on the lake, and tells me she l'Likes this', so I take her hand and go looking for the 'boats. We find them and again tells me to wait. She goes away for a few minutes and then shouts on me. I go around and we are then guided to the waterfront boat. We clamber (and I mean that sincerely...Clamber) on board sit down and start to pedal ourselves.
This is really good fun, except for one tiny little detail, I have to lie back so my feet can reach the pedals...hahahaha ;D we go around the lake, once, then the second time, she tells me to 'stop'. I mean HOW do you stop something from moving when on the water...Anyway I stop peddling and we just sit on the boat, talking and nearly falling asleep through tiredness of the legs, we do this for about 35 minutes,talking about everything and about our upcoming wedding.. I found out she cannot swim, because I started to 'rock' the boat from side to side and I started laughing my head off. The look of fear that swept across her face, made me stop doing this right away,. Once we came back to land we again went looking about the place. We found a swing and a fairground, so we started to have a go.
Once we left the park after 4 HOURS, we went to a gymnasium and swimming pool. From what I can gather, these were built for the Athletes from Shangdong Province that were taking part in the Olympiocs in Beijiing. Man you should see them, they were fantastic, It being Sunday they were closed to the public, but she spoke to the guard, and he let us take a walk around the place.. On the way home, rather than take a bus or a conventional taxi, we got onto the back of this very small lorry which had no sides or roof, and he drove us. She loved this idea, I did too although it was a little scary... Last night after dinner, she just dozed off untill this morning. I got this mornings breakfast prepared for her, before I dedided to go to bed...
This morning once she had gone to work, she texted me, apologising because she had slept all night.. ;D I obviously tell her not to worry, I was tired too (ever the gentleman :D). Today I went a little walk, just as I got downstairs, the 'headmaster' of the school was on his way up to see me, (he said). He asked me if in 5 days time I would like to teach in one of his classes (year 1). I said yes, He wants me to go into the office to see him when the school starts back from Mid-Autumn holiday. So I THINK I may have a job...
Ok gonna go for now and prepare the stuff I need to take to Jinan with me and Sophie tomorrow. This is where I get my single certificate ;-)
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That last little bit is great news Rob , so pretend Sophie is one of your pupils and practise with her , good luck , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Dont forget to get them to apply for your work visa before you start. The penalty is 5 year refusal
into China if caught without it. And were your at it wouldnt be hard to figure out who it is that is
working 8)
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And were your at it wouldnt be hard to figure out who it is that is
working 8)
Darn, and here I thought guys like me and Rob, could blend in with the locals in Shandong Province
no can do Rob, something about us just gives us away :-\
Mike for the life of me, I have NO IDEA what it could be??? ??? ??? ???
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Do not fret over the Dinosaurs Robbie. Pop down to GZ and spend an hour looking at Ted. You will realise that you have not missed anything at your local park!!!
Yippe another few Hours and we will be on way back to China. Then there will be an older relic to view.
Willy
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What a horrible day weather wise it was yesterday here. So much so that I never left the house, except to pop downstairs to get some fresh air into my lungs... ???
So Sophie comes in from work and while sitting eating dinner, her mom calls. After a few minutes she informs me that, me and Peter is to go to mom's house in the morning. NOW, remember I have not met this woman yet!!!
So I agree, relucklantly, better meeting with Sophie I think...So she continues to chat, and amongst them they decide we should go to her house NOW.
So we go and change and go to the shop for a another gift. Man have you ever felt like a spare one while your lady is floating about doing the shopping!!! Well I was feeling like this, on top of feeling a little bit aprehensive about meeting her mom. We finally get out of the mall and jump a taxi, a little gift was not quite accurate more like a weeks shoppiong ;D
We get to mom's and as I mentioned the place is not the best looking place. Sophie knocks on the door and some minutes later, this old woman walks out. Once the door is open Sophie tells me this is my mom. I offer my hand, say Ni hao, and she bids me enter. I forget she cannot speak a word of English, but I start babbling on saying things like. hello, my name is Robert, pleased to meet you etc :o
We are shown through a little orchard into the house, and taken into the living room. The first thing that I notice is the television, and my face lit up ;D This will be the first time I've seen one on since I been here. Now Sophie is told to make the tea, and I am offered some, along with a Pomegranit (Spelling). The old lady nearly cuts her hand of, cutting it in half :o I tell her I like this (thumbs up), so her and Sophie get to talking, and sophie leaves me alone with her for about 30 minutes.
Well I start to use the translator, but she cannot read it, poor eyesight!, so I show her the tattoo on my arm and try to explain my sons and daughters...We sit in a muted silence just watching the tv, finally Sophie comes back. I was so tempted to leave before dshe got back, but thought I'm better waiting it out...So once Sophie does come in I was never so relieved to see someone so much.. She sits down next to me, and starts telling me the questions her mom wants to know, so we go through maybe 2 hours of her asking questions, and me explaining about what my life was like before meeting Sopie.
Her mom goes to the bathroom, and Sophies face is lit up like a Christmas tree, she looks at me and say's " Baby, my mom likes you"..WELL... ASs you can possibly imagine, I was SO RELIEVED to hear this. The only thing she is not sure about is my height!!!...I told Sophie not to worry about this, tomorrow when I go back, I will showher that 'My Height' will not be a problem that she seems to think it may be...
Just before we left, her mom said something to Sophie, got up and left the room. Sophie told me that her mom has told her to tell me, I am welcome to come back to her house anytime...The lady comes into the room again carring a parcel. It is a box set of Green Tea, she had bought for me, it looks lovely, this is a nice gesture on her part. I also explained to her mom through Sophie, that ME as a parent, would have the same fears and doubts that she has, which went down very well...I csaw her nodding her head in agreement when I said this...
Anyway we leave, but before we do,Sophie starts to get very angry, I wonder why. Her mother 'apparently' asked her to ask me if WE would like to move into HER home and live there RENT FREE...Sophie is against this idea, because her mom and sister are too controlling, so we shall have to wait and see..
I am now getting ready to go back to her moms, I will be meeting Sophie after work there.
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Oh I meant to say, I was supposed to be going to Jinan for my single certificate, but Sophie called them and I was informed it would be closed for the festival...
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Hi Rob...
Well...after putting yourself through endless stress and pressure at the thought of meeting Mum, finally it has come and gone...and you have made the grade...you are home free ;D ;D
I think there is a lesson here for all prospective husbands who travel to China.
At the point where your Lady invites you to meet her parents, you know that she is deadly serious about the relationship. Simply because Mum will be the first, last and only hurdle you have to jump to win her.
Sure, Dad wears the pants (!!!!) and "makes all the decisions"..but make no mistake, when it comes to her Daughters marriage, Mum carries the big stick and the final approval and/or veto.
I know Western Women would certainly discuss a prospective son-in-law with her Mother, but I dont ever think in general that Western Mothers carry any where near as much weight in the final decision about you.
I am fairly sure, that whatever your lady thinks about you, if Mum says "NO"...then you have got a real hard row to hoe !!
And its no use thinking you can bluff your way into Mum's affections with gifts, flattery and bulldust...because it wont work. Mum will size you up 100% and you wont even know it is happening, she will be so subtle, but Boy are you being scrutinised. And finally, if Mum approves it wont matter what height, weight, hair colour or pant size you are, you will have passed the test and all will be plain sailing.
Mum will look at you with intense, beady scrutiny, with not one word of English and somehow will look deep into your mind and soul and work out who and what you are in about 3 minutes flat.
After all, look at my case !!!...I have more lines than the Perth street map, what little hair I have left is turning grey, without my specs I am half blind and I got rheumatism in my feet...but Mum saw that despite all that I was truly in love with her Daughter and would be an honourable and worthy husband. Ming's Mum was an ex-headmistress, and I surely felt to be under the microscope for a while until she worked out that I was OK. On the other hand, Dad was always happy to guzzle scotch with me and be "good mates"...but then again, maybe this was a different test !!!
Interesting stuff...all newbies please note ;D ;D
DavidE
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DavidE,
Points well said. It truly is a big thing to meet mom and for her to think it is alright to marry
her daughter. After having been to China for so many years i really dont think dads opinion
weighs nearly as much as moms. In fact i would say probably none compared to mom. And your
right the gifts dont sway that. One thing i think you left out is they watch with intense scrutiny
your FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, these are very IMPORTANT in these meetings.
Later on in the relationship thats when the gifts of fruit, nuts,seeds,tea make an excellent
gesture on your part each time you visit them. But in the beginning yes they are ok but the
real test are the actions and gestures you make. Just my observance here.
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Sorry i left out, Willy @@@%$^$%$#$$$!@#@#@# to your comment about me
looking like a old relic. Just because when we are walking around and all the chinese ladies
think it is nice of me to WALK my GRANDPA that just makes you mad 8)
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I guess after all this good advice from David E there is nothing else to explain........ Mums the word 8)
Also another good update Rob. After passing the Mum test you can be so free with your Sophie
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Thanks guys, yes the stress was a little bit getting to me, but would have been much worse had the 'surprise' not been landed on me. i never expected to meet her mom, because'She' was so adament that I had almost gien up any hope...I think the thing that swayed it were 2 things, I was respectful, even though she had 'disrespected' me in the past, and I looked her in the eyes and told her " I understand your feelings, I too am a parent, and would possibly feel the same way, if it was my daughter. She saw MY sincerity.
Well the next morning i went with Peter to mom's house as planned... :o :o :o However, we were there about 30 minutes, when the eldest daughter came in, and i was ushered out into a waiting car...Haha I thought Oh No, I'm going for a LONG ride hahaha. We were taken to the Uncles house, it was his birthday, they were holding a 'Party' for him. so of course, when the Laowei walked in, all eyes were immediately transfixed :o.. NOW, I am not really a shy sort of guy, but when this throng of people made their way towards me, I was promptly introduced to the eldest grandfather first, the the next youngest and so on. God there were about 45 relatives there.
I was placed at the top of the table and immediately given tea, I was then offered cigarettes, which I refused because Sophie does not want me smoking, this become some amusement for them once I had this information translated to them ;D ;D Suddenly the table was being filled with plates of food. I followed suit when someone started eating. I picked up this bit of meat, just as I was about to put it in my mouth the young nephew told me it was 'DOG'. So it was put back on the place without hesitation hha. I made the sound of a dog barking, and said BU, BU hahah everyone started laughing. Everyone all wanted me to take a drink from them, but being a NON Drinker I politely refused, explaining I don't drink alcohol..they were fine with that.
Once I had taken my fill of food, I went outside into the garden to get some fresh air. Ying came in and went into the kitchen with the other women. She then came into the garden to me and introduced her 'sisters' and cousens etc (again). There was this youn cousen who was wearing HIGH HEELS, I made gestures to her to take them off, and she would be the same size as me haha. This broughts howls of derision from the others. After a while a few of us went to the riverbank for a walk, then when we went back to the house, we took some pictures.
Finally it was timeto leave, so we went back to Momma's home. later the eldest sister came in and for another hour asked me some questions. Once she was satisfied with my answers 'She' told Ying 'As long as you 2 are happy, she and the family will be'. so yes I finally cracked it. She, the eldest sister was the one who was worried about me being 'Small', but she had noticed that this did not deter me earlier on, when i was reaching for something for someone. He mom told Ying that 'we' had to stay at her house last night, because in the morning, we had to go and visit' the 'TREE MOM'...
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Very great news indeed ;D I was so happy to hear that Laowei did not translate into Pinata ;)
This proves that sincerity and understanding along with love are our true allies. Happy for you both!!! James
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Rob, I am pleased to see everything going so well.
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I couldn't get it all in today, the son was pestering me to use the computer.... the update I mean..hahaha
We, last night once we came back to mom's home, she went in and made MORE food, :o :o. Once it was ready, she 'LAID' out a table in the orchard, set for 2 places, with everything that we were having. We ate, then went outside and burned 8 stacks of paper, scattered all around the door and at the teable., then I was asked to kneel, down and say a little prayer and bow 3 times... ??? ??? Still don't know why, I suppose it was for 'absent' friends or relatives because of the day (Mid Autumn Festival).
Sophie was very pleased about her mother and sisters appraisal of me, as you can imagine. NOW, I did not want to 'upset' the apple cart right away... ::), so I asked about the sleeping arrangments, she told me that because mom agrees with us, we could sleep together. ;D I wasn't too sure about this, so I said NO, NOT inn moms house until we are legal ;). So sophie agreed, I could see her mom's face as they went to bed, she had a very big grin on her face. So I think I done something else right...
This morning at 05.30 I was wakened up by the smell of frying fish (YUK), so I went in, got washed and dressed then went in to see if there was anything I could do. HOWEVER, someone told me that the 'Kitchen' is their domain, I saw the look from mom and Sophie and run outta there as fast as my little legs could carry me hahahal. After breakfast, her elder sioster and brother in law came to collect us. We were going to 'Tree Mothers' ???...I had no idea what this was. Anyway this place is on the outskirts of the town and in a very rural place. All it was was an old forest, with a very 'OLD' tree... They placed 2 'Red' blankets on the ground. 'Laid' out food, 'Poured' wine onto the ground at the base of the tree, 'lit' 3 sticks and dug them into the ground. Once this was domne, we took it in turn to say a 'prayer' to this 'Tree', then tied a Red Ribbon onto it.. We went from there, into another part of the forest and repeated the same process at another very old tree. I found out it was to bless 'Mother Earth' for everything she had provided for us, and to 'Keep' us safe. These 'Offerings, were a sort of 'payment'... ;D A very nice ritual I thought, even though it wasn't my cup of tea...
On the way home, Sophie went to work and I and Peter came back to the house... I will put more pictures on tomorrow when I get a bit of time... ;D
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Rob,
This is a great story and I am very happy for you. Reading this is bringing back allot of good memorys. good luck to you both!
Kenny
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Wow.
I go away for a few days and then I can read some extra adventures of Indiana Rob ^^'
It seems everythings goes fine for you, Rob :)
Very good news that you are giving us. Please go on ^^'
Do you have some news about your next job or not yet?
By the way, I will try to see if I can find the photos you are talking about, because at the moment... I didn't see anything of it :(
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You must be having a great weekend Robbie as you have not added to this thread since the 23rd. But just had a thought, maybe your out chattting to some more Trees.
So in that case I will let you know if you get bored, we have a bloody great forest near here and no one has spoken to the occpants for yonks. They spend all day crying, especially the Weeping Willows.
Willy
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Just a short note to mention that tomorrow morning Sophie and Myself are on our way to Jinan to get me my single certificate. After much deliberation this weekend, I have really decided that I am ready to take the plunge...
And that these bloody Mosquitoes HATE me... :o :o :-\
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Either that or the mosquito's like scotch.
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Just a short note to mention that tomorrow morning Sophie and Myself are on our way to Jinan to get me my single certificate. After much deliberation this weekend, I have really decided that I am ready to take the plunge...
And that these bloody Mosquitoes HATE me... :o :o :-\
Why do you not listen and actually take in what people tell you Robbie??????
There is no UK consulate in Jinan. There is an office in Guangzhou, Shanghai and Chingqing and the Embassy in Beijing, and you need to make an appointment for any of these offices. These are the places in China for UK Citizens to obtain the 'single certificate'. So it is very, very unlikely that you will be getting the single certificate process up and running today. You make appointment and go there with your passport and previous marriage certificates and copies of Decree Absolute for divorce. They publish the application and then send you all the paperwork you need to get married with on the 22nd day later provided that no one makes any objection.
Willy
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When I got my paperwork from the UK embassy in Beijing you didn't need to have an appointment, just stroll in. Where you need to go is not in the main embassy building itself but an office block quite close by. It was very quiet and the staff were super helpfull. For more info check out the website
http://ukinchina.fco.gov.uk/en/ (http://ukinchina.fco.gov.uk/en/)
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Now dont laugh Rob...give it a try and see !!!
If you want to avoid being bitten by mossies (BTW it is only female mossies that bite...typical !!)...eat a banana with your breakfast.
Apparently there is some chemical in bananas that mossies dont like....and I tried this and it worked for me ;D ;D ;D
Happy to hear all is well with you two...keep it up... :-\
David
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Just had a phone call from Robbie. At last he has been to Beijing and his application is in for a 'single certificate' they will send it to him by courier in 22 days time.
Just one more hurdle crossed and its into the home straight for a two furlong gallop to the winning post.
So lets hope there is no interference noted and that a stewards enquiry will not be necessary.
Willy
Robbie asked me to post this as he will not be back on until tomorrow.
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Willie thanks for that. And the reason I did not 'listen' to you and others WILL become clearer...I THINK !!!
Ok on the evening of the 27th I was being pestered by Sopie about having to get to bed, because we ..."ARE going to JINAN early 'tomorrow'..." So for about an hour and a half, she kept coming in and pestering me to go to bed, eventually I did. :) On the 28th I was woken up at 05.30 with the immortal words.."Baby, breakfast, we need to go soon, it takes 2 hours on the bus". So we leave and go to the bus station where there is a mad dash to find out where the bus goes from. We boarded and settled down for a nice "TRIP & MORNING" in Jinan. :o
The bus journey was nice enough, nice scenery etc, but the memories of Sophies last trip to Jinan made her break down and cry as we got closer to the place, this was because her father had died there...
On arrival there, we go hunting for this ADDRESS that she has., we finally make it, go into this building talk to the ushers and find what floor the office is on. Once we get to the office, it is CLEAR to me that SHE had made an error. She had taken me to the UK VISA CENTRE, but we went in and she spoke to them, but could'nt get them to UNDERSTAND why we were there. So on BEING told to explain I did, and was promptly told 'THIS IS THE VISA CENTRE, WE ONLY DO VISAS', I thanked her and left the office and phoned the man from London!!!
Outside the offices in Jinan, I had about 2 hours trying to explain to her that if we go to Beijiing, the place will be closed because it was another 5 hour bus trip. So she makes a phone call or 2 or 3, by this time I was NOT in any mood to listen to her. She contacts her friend and they make arrangments for us to stay there for the night..
For 3 months before I came, I EXPLAINED all this to her, that we needed to go to Beijiing, but she WAS very insistant that it could all be done in Jinan...!!! ???
We take a little tour in Jinan while we are waiting to go for the bus to Bejiing, there was some sort of 'EXPO' on there so we strolled around for an hour or 2, all the time me with my mood worsening >:( We finally ghet to the bus station AGAIAN for the 'NEW' trip.. settle on the bus and it leaves. % and a half hours later we arrive. Now it is pitch black here for 8.30 in the evening, but the lights from the shops and street make it look like a nice place., as we are leaving the station, HER 'Sister/Friend' pumps the car horn and we get in the car. At least we have a place to stay for the night at no cost I thought, so that a burden sorted...
The sister lives about 15 minutes journey in the car away, so we have a'pleasant' drive, if you can call nearly being hit about 6 times 'PLEASANT', we get to the friends house, have something to eat and settle down for tomorrows events...
In the morning I am again woken up about 5ish, given breakfast, had a coffee and then we left. The friend 'drove' us to the place, having made sure she stopped off at a bank for me.. in the phone call to the office in Bejiing, I was told I could just TURN UP, NO NEED FOR APPOINTMENT. I met an English guy there, the first westerner I had seen since being in China...We find this office, WELL, I say found it, that's NOT strictly true..After getting informnation from a doorman at this building we are told to go through because we can get out the outher side.. Now 'WE' have been'TOLD' were to go, BUT...Sophies sense of direction IS NOT THE BEST HAHAHAHA, we get lost and have to get more direcdtions,eventually find the place, go upstairs, fill in the forms and POST THE BANNS...22 from the 29th september we are tieing the knot...WELL THAT IS IF SOPHIE DOESN'T GET LOST HAHAHA... ::)
the total cost was 1452 yuan approx 121.00 UK pounds...We come from there and the friend drives us to Tiannemen suare, drives us back to the house, and then leave the car and taken there by bus. The place is amazing, I have loads of pictures, I will post as soon as I can...We go from there over to Mao Se Dong's place, and go into the forbidden city.
Man we spent about 4 hours there and still never saw everything, the tourists were thronged everywhere. Once we finally comeoutta there, Sophies sister left us there alone, so we told her we would make our own way back!!!! Anyway, in the forbidden city, it is building after building, after building...I am not sure how long this place is, but I tellyou, I must have walked about 6 inches off my height, but if ANYONE GETS THE CHANCE TO GO, THIS IS A 'MUST NOT MISS' OPPERTUNITY....
We have agreat day, sitting in the gardens of the city eating a romantic lunch, after posting our vows to get married, it was one of the best days I ever had..It is something I will never forget...The thing I found about Beijing was that people DON'T stare at me as much, probably because they are used to seeing western peole...Now we leave there to make our way home...She asked umteen people for directions, BUT me, all I know is RETRACE YOUR STEPS WILL GET YOU BACK 8), We walk for what seems like hours getting to the point where we first started, look for the right number bus...EVENTUALLY finding it, we get on the bus, pay the fare, and 5 minutes later, we are outside the forbidden city gates, all we had to do was to cross the road to get the bus...hehehe ;D...You would think the story is finished here, wouldn't you !!!THINK AGAIN.
4 bus stops from where we are supposed to be, the engine on the bus catches fire and are told to GET OFF THE BUS...I decide look, it only a few more stops up the road (I am good when it comes to remebering my way to places), lets just walk it...So she agrees, we get to the point where we have to turn RIGHT and then a sharp LEFT..NOP, sophie KNOWS BEST !!!!, she continues to lead me for another mile down the wrong way, all the time I am in fits of laughter, because4 I KNOW, we are heading the wrong way...So she asks someone, and of course they point us back in the direction we came from.
Now, 'everyone knows' that a short person cannot walk as fast as a taller one !!! RIGHT...WRONG :( she is walking so fast that she ends up way in front of m, so I just take my time...We are NOW at thepoint where we turn right, SHE starts to carry on towards the bus...GGGRrr...BY now I am fuming, so I shout her, and tell her "I AM GOING THIS WAY", she comes running up telling me "NO....WRONG WAY"!!!! I ignored her and kept walking, after all the place WAS just around the next bend... Once we got back into the house/flat, she was telling the sister and they had a great laugh about it..I had some dinner, and went for a shower and relaxed for the rest of the night...
The next morning, we rose at 6am, a late start ::) we take a walk in this park which is situated at the back of the buildings where the friend lives...IT is 7am and we are strolling through this park...There are loads of people already there, singing, dancing, playing games, rowing, it is Phenomonal to see this..By western standards they put us to shame... This park is HUGE and takes us another good couple of hours to see it al, even then, I'm not sure we did.
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Once we are through the park, we head towards the undersground,we arebeing taken to 'The Olympic Village and stadiums..I though the 'Forbidden City' was good, WOW, this place is also a MUST NOT MISS TOUR... We do the touring stuff and another afternoon is spent with enmjoyment..by the time we are ready to go back to the flat, we again take the subway and RETRACE our steps... ;D Once after a nice brew in the flat, I decide to let the girls catch up themselves, so I go a walk back to the park and spend an hour or so just enjoying the sights and sounds of China and it's people. What did I see, well, KITE Flying, games of all sorts, dancing all types, Tai Chi, sailing. In this park was also a MARKET, so I had a nosey about the placve.....
The thing that will live in my memory is this..I walked to this 'openair' pavilion where people were all sitting and singing, individually and as aa group, it was amazing... Later I head back to the flat, then we go out for a meal...The sister wants us to go to some fancy place, BUT Sophie was having none of it, we went into this small place and had dumpling, many types, some where nice, others not so...BUT the sister had never been in here before, so she boughta take home dinner for her son and husband, who was due home from Weifang in the evening. We head back home, the husband comes in just as we are having a brew, I get troduced etc, the first thing he does, is take a out acarton of Cigarettes and hands them to me, he knows I am from Scotland, so he shows me the bollte of 40 year old Dewers Whiskey that he bought...so we hada good chat. Once it was timwe to leave, the whole family walked us down to the car, however, it had a flat tyre, so we went for the bus instead.. The tears flowed between them all, God I had such a good time I nearly welled up myself...hahah Once we were on the bus and making our way to the train station for the train home, Sophie calmed down with a few hugs :D
I never mentioned, but last night, we had went to the train station to get our tickets back to Zhucheng, however, we could only go Via Weifang. I would advise those witha heart problem NOT too read any further...IF your EVER going to bejiing, NEVER get the train......Let me explain..we got to the train station a good 50 minutes before our journey...Little did I know that you have to queue to get INTO the station :o and it seems like everyone and the dog was there. By the time we pushed, prodded, nipped, pulled we were finally at the door into the station this 'little' excurion lasted for 20 minutes...I kid you NOT...we had only traveled 35 yards... >:( I have been to football matches whre there are BIG crowds so LUCKILY I was used to being in crowds like this...Once inside the station, SOPHIE finds the platform where we are to get the train...END OF STORY...NO we had to make a MAD DASH to another platform with only minutes to spare..the train was alread crowded so I thought, ok we will get the next one...OH BOY was I wrong :(
We get onboard..SOMEHOW, and are pushed halfway down the aisle,...NOW, for those who have NEVER done this train journey before, there is one thing you have to be made aware of..YOU will fight for ANY little bit of space you can find. The guard who was the fatteste chinaman I have ever saw, was squeezing past the poeple, he got to me and started pushing me further along.. >:( This would jhave been ok, BUT for one little problem THERE WAS NO ROOM UP FRONT or behind, but still he kept pushing, so I lost my rag and started swearing at him, calling him evrything you could think, did it make a difference...NO CHANCE...I kid you not, the aisle is designed for one person walking at a time...there were 3 abreast, it took you all your stregnth to move your arms..And still they came, cases on their heads jostling, pushing, pulling to get by..AND yes, somehow they managed it.. This was for me the most frightening and disturbing journey I had ever taken.. :-\
Maybe not the Americans or Canadians will remember this, but Heysel Disaster and Ibrox Disaster springs readily to mind...IT was that frightening... ??? We had to endure 7 hours of this 'packaging', it was like being in a sardine can with all your little mates... once we reached Weifeng, Sophie asked me if 'I wanted to see Weifeng" by now I was ready to do anything but sight see, so I said "No, just go home"...What she didn't realise was thatwhen I said home I meant the UK.. :o haha only joking... So we go and get the bus ticket for another 2 hour journey, we finally get on the bus with a little deley, caused by my good self ;D ;D The conducter counted the heads of the occupants, and was missing a ticket...Now if someone tears a portion off YOUR ticket, you would assume thats it accounted for...RIGHT? WRONG...well I go into my pocket after 15 minutes of deley and find this stub, sophie grabs it and yells at the guy, something like "Here it is Mr Man" :D He starts yelling at her..ME, I got outta my seat and started shouting at him, saying, you got a problem about this...It was me, not HER shout at me you F....r...BOY was I mad... >:( >:(
Anyway we get to Zhucheng andI'm now in our flat, had a coffee and ready for a new future
Oh one more thing I forgot to mention...MAKE SURE yuou have 2 different cards with you...I only had the one, and my card was decllined after my fiost visit to the bank in Beijing. I am NOW hoping it has been sorted by tomorrow, or I am really up the creek without a paddle...
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All the things we do for " LOVE " ?
Rob , you better measure yourself .. being squeezed like that .. you might have gained a few inches in Height ? :o :o
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sounds like typical traveling on the holiday. Remember its the national holiday here so everything is really
packed to the hilt. The Bejing Train station is quite the interesting place especially outside the building.
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rereading the post Rob "you lost your rag" what exactly does that mean??
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I thought he lost his headpiece hahaha
but i didnt want to say but then again i just did ::)
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I thought he lost his headpiece hahaha
but i didnt want to say but then again i just did ::)
I know this might be politically incorrect, but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Hahahahaha yes Ted it is too lose ones temper...hahahaha
On this trip I have experienced all forms of transport, including riding pillion on a motorbike. The most frightened I have been was last night, Sophie decided to take me shopping :o, Hoeever, what she did NOT mention was, that we would be going on her scooter. ??? I never even knew she had one.!!!
Well we set off and a leisurely pace and get to this shopping mall. We go around it, getting this and that, then she decides to get the vegetables!!! I got so fed up traipsing (walking) after her, that I decided to wait at one of the weighing machines, she went off got some carrots and brought them to me, then off she went for onions, this went on for about 30 minutes untill she had got all manner of vegetables. Every time she came back with something, she would say to me " You like?" While she was gone, a queue formed behind me, and someone asked why 'they' were not being served, I was NOT at the front of the queue, I was just waiting hahahaha...It was funny to see their expressions when they found this out... :D :D
Anyway, we finish there and go for meat etc. As you propbably know, when animals are skinned, there is usually 'blue' type writing on the carcass.. Well She ordered a piece of meat from the butcher and complained about this writing, trying to explain that it was ok, and would be cut off when we get home was something else. Wouls she buy it, would she hell as like. We walked away with her talking in Chinese to me, I can only imagine what she was saying!!! Anyway, we get to the paying counter and I tell her to wiait there. I head back and get the meat she had argued about. We paid for everything and left, carring 6 (SIX) bags of shopping. NOW, I am NO EXPERT, but 6 bags and 2 people on a small scooter, does not seem to sit right with me. ???
We get to this scooter, me on the back, and somehow all the bags and set off home. We made it, something I noticed was, that NOT ONCE did she look around to see what was coming (if anything :o). We drop the bags off and head to Momma's house, she is not in, so we head to the sisters. Once we are settled the sister goes into the kitchen prepares some food for me. Sophie shows me around the place, she takes me into the kitchen and shows me what her sister is making. I look closely at the bowl of food...AND IT'S MOVING ???
NOW, I am a fussy eater at the best of times, but I DO LIKE MY FOOD TO BE DEAD, before eating it :-X Anyway, we go back into the lounge and I tell Momma, the food is moving, she laughs her head off, once it's cooked the sister brings it in, it is COCKROACHES :-\ tHE MOM GESTURES FOR ME TO EAT ONE...no chance I say to myself. I politly refuse the mother. Being as I was facing the mother, Sophie turned my head and put one in my mouth. NOW, I could do one of two things, eat or spit it out...So I quickly chewed it and swallowed, well everyone in the room was in an uproar at the expressions I was making after chewing it...
As we were leaving, Sophie was given a container filled with these cooked things. Dare I say, I WILL BE WATCHING WHAT SOPHIE PUTS IN MUY MOUTH FROM NOW ON...HAHAHAHAHA
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Ahhh ha ... that is why I did not see any of those " Cockroaches " alive or cooked on my Trips . hahaha Here I thought Scorpions where bad ?
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Rob, man that is funny. Peggy doesn't seem to like the exotic foods but it does make me wonder sometimes when she says, "eat, it is good for you," or "I do not know the English name" so I ask her to spell it in Chinese on our translator and she tells me she does not remember how to spell it.
Scott I am sure the putting food on your plate varies from region to region but I was told by Peggy's sister that when a woman puts food in your mouth or on your plate that it is a sign of love and care. If I feel the same way I should reciprocate.
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The sign of love and care is not feeding you. That is just them wanting you to try it as they
think its good and healthy for you.
The sign of love and care is for you to eat a well prepared meal of many types of foods in
small portions. Cooking for you is her way of showing you her love because she is preparing
healthy things for you to eat.
But cockroaches i dont think so i would have have politely talked with her like Scott said and
ask her to please dont do that again.
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Man I have never felt loved so much in all my life...
The weather here is brilliant, a bit too hot for my pearly white flesh, but no matter. Sophie started back at work so I went a walk yesterday. I am not sure if I had caught a cold or just the polen in the air, but I had a little fit of sneezing (just about 5 rapid)...NOTHING to worry about :D
Well later whenI get back in and she comes home, I am talking to her, and I happen to 'TELL' her about this - just for conversation you understand :D. She touches my forehead and mutters 'Oh Tiano' (Oh my God). She takes me by the hand, leads me into the bedroom, tells me to get into bed and walks out. My long walk today has tired me out anyway, so I just lie on top of the bed. She comes back in puts a thermomator under my arm, and a wet cloth over my forehead :o I told her it is ok, it was nothing, but, as usual, she would not listen..Off she goes again into the kitchen 5 minutes pass and in she comes with a BOWL of GINGER WATER and preceeds to feed me with it. :o I TELL her, "I don't need it" and she say's "Ok Baby' and STILL feeds it too me. Trying to get through to her is like 'hitting' your head against a brick wall, she agrees with you AND still carries on!!!
I get up and walk into the kitchen this time muttering to myself and laughing at her ways hahaha She sits down beside me and STILLLLLLLLLLL feeds me this water :o :o. Peter comes in and asks what is wrong, she tells him and she trieds to get him to take some, he does what I should have, he ran away... ;D ;D In the end I got so fed up with her pampering me that I just gave in ;D But I will never tell her if I sneeze, cough or splutter again...hahaha
We were supposed to go to her mom's last night, but she phoned her up and told her I had a cold ??? About an hour later, her sister came round with loads of food and to see I was ok. This was the first time her sister had come to Sophies house. Can you imagine any western women caring for you in such a way, ok there may have been one or two, but not many would, not to the full extent that I witnessed last night.
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All I can say is ....WOW Mr. Rob, it sounds like you are living it up over there with you and your Sophie.
wishing you both all the luck and happiness in this for you.
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Now be a good boy Rob and take your medicine , maybe you have now learned that these ladies do not take NO for an answer , but as many on here have noted before , you are their Prince and have to be looked after , and most of the ladies cure ills in ways that we westerners cannot understand , even with Sujuan out here if I cough or sneeze it is a matter of nipping whatever it is before something else happens , and I must say it seems to work , I am now blind and have a walking frame , but still drive better than Sujuan [ only joking ] , regards Robert and Sujuan .
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Hahaha yes Robert I HAVE noticed that the word 'NO' is NOT in their vocabulary...
So I'm out walking this morning, because Sophies at work. Tall, Short, Fat, Thin, Male, Female, it never ceases to amaze me that everyone stares at me!! Bloody hell, for the second time this week, the same alsation DOG strolled by me and even 'IT' took a second look at me (for the second time)!!!! :o :o ??? Now you cannot tell me that IT knows the difference :D :D
I was standing having a rest, when this bus pulled up, all the occupants came to my side of the road and looked at me (Again).. You do get some people who will say 'hello' to you, but mostly they all stare, so I just stare back at them, then wave and say 'Ni Hao'...hahaha. God even on their scotters they keep driving but still look back
Went to the supermarket and decided to buy some fish for her tea tonight, (not goldfish David)) because I'm such a 'GOOD LAO GONG' HEHEHE. anyway I will cook it for her, after stuffing it with herbs and garlic, also make some seaweed and noddles mixed with veggies, and 'earn' some much needed 'Brownie points' ;D ;D...Me I'll just have an egg sarnie hhhmmmmnnnn...Hopefully this will detract her from taking me a long walk tonight ???
Ok is there such a thing as 'Butter' or 'Margerine' in this country!!!! :o
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Here is the answer Rob direct from daughter , the answer to your question is no unless in a big city supermarket , the reason being China bread is sweet so normally they just put jam on it so the answer is , go for a long walk , find a friendly cow , sit down with your pail and get some fresh milk , take it home , place 1/2 in the fridge , beat the other half for about 1 hour till it thickens -- so now you have not only fresh butter , but also fresh milk for your tea , 2 problems solved ha ha , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Rob,
Carrefors Supermarket sells butter.......but if you dont have a Carrefors close to you....well I guess its the cow, like Robert suggests !!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
David
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i can send you all the commoditys from guangzhou evrything is sold here.
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Rob, it isn't that the word "no" doesn't exist in their language because it does. The reason they do not respond to it is because we do not understand what the word "no" means. It has to be true because we tell them no to what she knows what she must do. I tell Peggy no and she usually responds "I must do."
Hehehe. Rob, lie down and take it like a man. It couldn't be any worse than cod liver oil. :o
As far as the staring? I am not sure why it bothers you so. It has always happen to me, even here in the US. What I don't understand is why they are always shaking their fist at me? ;D
Butter? Cows? When we went to Peggy's mothers home she would not let me get near the cows. She grabbed my arm and pulled me back yelling "No Shaun no... be careful... no." Hmmmm..... didn't I start with the word no?
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Rob, wouldn't you rent/buy a cow, to have some butter everyday? haha ^^
Anyway, as you say us about your "cold", I feel the same, Liyan also really takes care of me if I begin to catch a cold or anything else. Well... as man can notice, it is something very different between chinese women and westerner ones :)
chinese women want to take care of us, even if we don't ask them anything about that.
Westerner ones would also say "go help yourself...." ;D
By the way, nice reading, give us some more please :) and I have to find the pics.. (i still didn't find.... hem... ^^)
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Rob you should have worked this out by now :)
The wife says:Yes
The wife means:Maybe
The wife says: Maybe
The wife means:No
The wife says: No
The wife means:Not a chance in hell
The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: You are the man of the house, you make all the decisions
The wife means: Hahahahahahahaha
The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate in Chinese.
The wife means: Just agree with me
The wife says: I love you
The wife means: forever!
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So I'm out walking this morning, because Sophies at work. Tall, Short, Fat, Thin, Male, Female, it never ceases to amaze me that everyone stares at me!! Bloody hell, for the second time this week, the same alsation DOG strolled by me and even 'IT' took a second look at me (for the second time)!!!! :o :o ??? Now you cannot tell me that IT knows the difference :D :D
Either he wanted to know why you were on his patch or else he has taken a great fancy to you. So do not tie up your shoe lace whist he is about other you may find out what 'dog tired' really means.
Willy
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Paul, you have described it perfectly. ;D
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In the 6 weeks since I have been here, I have looked for work, to NO AVAIL. When I first arrived there were supposed to be 3 students that I was to teach, but none got back to me. :( This morning I decided that I was returning to the UK. :( However, after a lengthy and 'tearful' chat with Sophie, the upshot is, that she does NOT want me to return to England (nor do I really). She wants me to stay here in Zhucheng. The problem I have with that is, NO WORK, ergo no income... ???
Now after this mornings events, she took me all over the place to find work. We went into about 6 different schools, were she 'knew' someone ::) The short answer is, that SHE...MAY just have come up trumps :D There is ONLY one school here that employs foriegn teachers, and after much chatting with others she got 'us' in to see him. While I was there, he spoke top the principle and is going to get back to us as soon as he can. They are going to be having a meeting to talk about costs involved. This school has already employed an American and Austrialian before, so they know whats required, i.e working visa etc...She has very high hopes abouty this meeting we had, it was discuss about the pay, and the hours and classes I would be working (4500 yuan, 4 classes x 5 days a week) Now I know this is NOT a lot, but it is BETTER than NOTHING coming in... Failing that this coming monday I will have a mornings teaching at Amio International (which we found today), hopefully something will happen soon.
Now my plane ticket back to the UK is due to be used on Monday 11th October, after that I will have another 17 days of my 60 day visa left. My plan is, to see if I can put the airflight back for those 17 days, I think Maxx already told me that this can be done, on my last visit, if I remember rightly ;)
Anyway, Sophie has told me repeatedly that she does not care if I don't work or have no money, but you all know what us 'good' guys are like, we don't like to be the 'kept man'. However, the way I feel about this lady, I really don't care about visa's. On the 22nd October, me and Sophie are going to Weifang to get married, that is all I care about. (If any of the Brothers would like to come you are more than welcome...)I want to spend the rest of my days with her. She is delightful. I remember early in our relationship, she made these, 'rules' up (remember :o), well they are out the window. We BOTh want to be together - no matter what it takes...
Once I marry, will I still NEED A WORK VISA
David E, have sent you a couple of PM's mate... ;D
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What ?
no more rules?
he he he he
you two really are "love sick" eh Rob ?
;D
Yes Mike NO MORE RULES... ;D And I have her permission to say this...hahahahahah
Lovesick...WO? :D :D
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Rob,
After your are married you will be given an extended "L" or tourist visa the same as you have now. First time you apply they usually give you 6 months then it can be anything up to 2 years unless of course your Willy and you only get 3 months! The L visa does not give you the right to work in China only to stay with your wife. So if you do get a job offer then you can get your Z or working visa in Hong Kong. If the school has employed foreign teachers before they know what to do and the paperwork you will need to take with you. 4500rmb is not that bad over here you should see what the Chinese teachers earn!
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Our fingers and toes are crossed for you Rob , at 4500 rmd bet you could bank half of yours and Sofie half of hers and still enjoy both wife and life , regards Sujuan and Robert ,
by the way any luck with the cow , I cannot find one on Ebay either , how about giving a farmer 100rmb for you to be able to milk the cow 1 time a day per month ha ha .
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Rob, of course I'd be more than glad to be here at your wedding day... but I am still in France right now so I won't be able to be there :(
by the way, I cross all my fingers (and feets) for everything to be ok about your visa and about the job.
4500 RMB'S , well, that's about 430 €.
Don't forget you are in China, Rob, not in Europe ;) and that income is more than significative for any chinese citizen.
Liyan told me before that she got about the same income in her company and that it was also a good income.
Not a bad one, not the best one, but anyway, it was good.
Oh, I forgot to mention. If you can not find any cow in China.... please promise me to not try to get any milk from a taurus....
haha!
Just kiddin', robbie ^^
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Sly i won't try to milk any Taurus... ;D
Well I tried to get a refund on my ticket but couldn't...It was non returnsable, I done something that I may live to regret, I saw the look on Sophies face when I was dealing with this thing, so I TORE my ticket up, to prove to her that I want to live here with her. Good idea, (God knows)? :o but after recieving a text message from one of my kids in England later on last night, IT WAS A GOOD IDEA I am so fed up with the crap that is happening back there, that I am glad to be out of it. A body can only take so much and in my case, I've had enough.
I said we were getting married on the 22nd this is a mistake, the papers will be sent to us from Beijiing on the 22nd, so we have decided that it will be the 26th October that we get married. God I'm getting as bad as her for giving out information :o
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Rob don't feel bad about giving out inaccurate information. The older you get, the worse it gets. Right Willy? Oops. :D
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Rob don't feel bad about giving out inaccurate information. The older you get, the worse it gets. Right Willy? Oops. :D
If your saying I give wrong information then I will stop giving it here.
Willy
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Rob,
you need to watch that visa renewal and do it after marriage
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Rob
You tore up your ticket...but that does not mean it is invalid !!!
How about telling the airline to keep it open indefinitely so you have it there in case you need it.
They wont give you your cash back, but I think that they will hold it for you to a later date....maybe some small fee to do this.
But congrats on your decision to stay with Sophie...now get this teaching sorted and you have got it all ;D ;D ;D
Cheers...David
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and even if you can not find a job by day right now... what about working on afternoon by giving some lessons? May that also help you to win some money, even if for short time?
Anway, fingers crossed (difficult to write on the keyboard but well... haha)
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Rob like DavidE posted.Tearing up the ticket is just a symbolic gesture.It is still valid.And for a small fee.They will probably move the date of your return to Scotland.
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Rob you know buddy I have seen that look on my wifes face too. And it was the day I was leaving. I had no choice I had my girls at home and could not stay.
We talked about it later and come to find out she was more scared than sad. Because we are so far away, well let's face it, it would be an easy task to just never come back. And thats what she was scared of. This was the last day of January, and our plan was for me to come back in June after the kids were out of school.
Man I was missing her like crazy and we were on qq everyday all day she had settled down a little.
And one day I sold a nice machine so had a little windfall of cash I said nothing to her. But the look on her face when I called her on qq from the Shanghai airport and asked her if she would come get me at the Harbin Airport in 5 hours was priceless.
And after 15 days had gone by I had to leave again. But this time she was sad when I had to leave, but not so scared she now knew I would come back for sure.
And I had promised her when I come back in June we would never be separated again. A promise that so far I have been able to keep.
So I guess the point I am trying to make for you is do what you must do, The love is there and as long as you do what you tell her (Or More) Her love for you will only grow stronger. My wife and I over the past 6 months have become more than a man and woman in love. We are a real team we work hard for each other. And we know the other will always be there. And if you need to finish up a few things in Scotland before you are there permanently them go do it. And when you get back your reception will be like you have never seen. And most all of the doubts and fears she may have they will be gone forever.
In fact I didn't have to waste a ticket to show her I was here for her, when I came back the ticket I bought and showed to her was ONE-WAY. That was all it took.
And now when she gets a VISA I will buy 2 one-way tickets home. And have promised her we will visit China to see her family the summer of every even year if she likes. I hope my little story helps you out some, if what we are doing was easy then everyone would do it right.
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Rob don't feel bad about giving out inaccurate information. The older you get, the worse it gets. Right Willy? Oops. :D
If your saying I give wrong information then I will stop giving it here.
Willy
Sorry, I was only joking.
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The tearing of my plane ticket was just my showing her I wanted to stay here. It was a 'Smbolic' I know, but it was the only way I knew that she would understand...
Comforting words Jimmy thank you :D
Yes Sly I am going to try to do this...
Shaun, I think Willy knows this was a joke...
Thanks David and Maxx...
Ted I will keep this in mind...
Paul and Robert, THIS was really good to know...
Well this morning I went to Amio for my teaching interview, the 'principle' wasn't there, she was in Qingdao all day, but I still carried on with the lesson. I will have to do it again I think, but no matter, today was just keeping my toes in the water ;D ;D
I was putting the rubbish into the bin last night, and she found a picture shop leaflet. So she phoned them. This Sunday we go to get our pictures taken. I am defo going to find a hat, so Paul does not feel like he is the only one. hahahaha. I asked her about the cost of this, and she told me it was only 199 yuan. I am not sure for how many, or what size, will let you know as soon as I find out...
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When everything is going so well, you can RELY on Rob to put his foot in it, and get into all sorts of TROUIBLE... :o
Very long story short...Will give the complete one at a later date, once I am composed...
The plane ticket I tore up,COULD NOT BE EXCHANGED FOR A LATER DATE...
Don't know why? Was told, "you have to go to the place yopu got it from and see them" TROUBLE with this is, The shop is in Barrow in Furness.
Even if I could [phone them now, I DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS TO CHANGE IT...
I used them to go to Beijiing
Went to Beijiing to see about repatriation ... DECLINED...They only 'repatriate' dead people.
What they WILL do is, help you contact YOUR relatives to help them to pay for the flight. BUT the Brittish Embassy WILL NOT PAY ONE CENT TOWARDS IT.
I was told "You can find work'...Okey I said, "AND IF I DON'T..."
Their answer..."TOO BAD..
"Ok "I said .."My visa expeires at the end of the month, what happens then'
5000 RMD a day fine"
"So , how do I get back to the UK?" I asked
"Unless your relatives or someone can help you, YOU will stay in China" they replied.
Reltative DON'T have that type of money...
so bottom line
I am in Shandong Province (Zhucheng) witha grand total of 45 RMB to my name...No prospect of work and within the next couple of days NOWHERE to live..
Please look at what I am saying..THIS IS DOWN TO ME NOT SOPHIE
I don't like to ask, BUT CAN YOU HELP?
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Rob, contact the airline not the travel agency. When I extended my stay in July (ie changed the travel dates) it was all done through Singapore Airlines no one else. Maybe worth exploring, however will not be any good if it is beyond the stipulations of the ticket.
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Rob, contact the airline not the travel agency. When I extended my stay in July (ie changed the travel dates) it was all done through Singapore Airlines no one else. Maybe worth exploring, however will not be any good if it is beyond the stipulations of the ticket.
Was at qingdao airport mate, I have tried all that...
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Sounds like you've done yourself up right like a kipper eh Rob.... :) I'm a bit tapped out at the mo, but would like to help a brother, as i've been missing all your jokes via sms whilst you've been away. I could prob stretch to £100 if that helps, maybe some other brothers could chip in too? The only prob is i'm in London....! I'm guessing you must have some sort of cash card for the atm's? If you sent me a pm of your sort code and account number of you bank in the UK, I could do a transfer and you should be able to withdraw it at a atm. I know bank of China accepts visa cards. Course you may have a credit card with you? Could you not pay for the ticket on that, n worry about paying it back once your back in the UK?
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I want to let you know..
There will possibly be 'Brothers' on here who may think I CAME HER TO PLAY and BED Chinese women. WELL I am going to tell you THIS IS NOT TRUE.. AND IF ANYONE THINKS DIFFERNTLY THEN THEY REALLY DO NOT KNOW ME AT ALL
I came here with the INTENTION of marrying Sophie, what I stupidly did not do was listen to the words people were saying in other posts, about HOW MUCH it would COST...
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Well , I would never have thought that Rob ... But I'm in AWE ! How it must end , just speechless .
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I want to let you know..
There will possibly be 'Brothers' on here who may think I CAME HER TO PLAY and BED Chinese women. WELL I am going to tell you THIS IS NOT TRUE.. AND IF ANYONE THINKS DIFFERNTLY THEN THEY REALLY DO NOT KNOW ME AT ALL
I came here with the INTENTION of marrying Sophie, what I stupidly did not do was listen to the words people were saying in other posts, about HOW MUCH it would COST...
I did not see anyone post any such thing on this forum. Did I miss something?
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no martin you did not miss anything...BUT I know human nature :(
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No Martin, You did not miss anything. I let fly at Robbie and vented my anger at him and related to him some of the private comunications I have receive concerned the trip that never should have happened.
In that I condemned his stupidity for getting himself into this position and ignoring all the good advice he was receiving. And elso he was getting too much unwarranted encouragement from others on here.
What are we left with, just another woman who has had the heart ripped from her by another selfish foreigner and a UK citizen stranded thousands of miles away by that same stupidity.
BUT ARE WE GOING TO LET HIM ROT HERE. Maybe not. BUT NO POINT IN SENDING HIM MONEY. I Would suggest that any money be sent to one account other than his and when enough is raised to send him home, then a eticket can be purchased and he sent to him by email.
I have done some enquiries and it looks like he can get a ticket home from Beijing via Moscow then to London at a cost of around 550.oo GB Pounds at such short notice.
BUT I WOULD NOT MAKE ANY DONATION A GIFT - I WOULD MAKE IT A LOAN That has to be paid back. That will make him think twice about ever embarking on such a journey again.
Maybe you could organise something via a Mod living in China, Martin.
Wiltshir - hold fire unless you want to send him money personally which then cannot be used for ticket.
Willy
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Do you think I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN?????
Yes I am STUPID and possibly many more other things...BUT, SELFISH AND TO RIP HER HEART OUT!!!
NO ONE EXCEPT ME AND YING KNOWS THE FULL STORY
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I have nothing more to say on this sorry episode at present. When you get back to the UK you should rip your passport up like you did the ticket and her heart. I repeat that. Unless of course you were providing us with mis information during the past 6 weeks as how well things were.
The last thing I want to hear is a chorus from the regulars of 'Sorry to hear that Rob' ' better luck next time' or 'don't give up'
Willy
What I really want to say cannot be printed here as we have a decency policy to abide by.
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I am in Shandong Province (Zhucheng) witha grand total of 45 RMB to my name...No prospect of work and within the next couple of days NOWHERE to live..
Did I miss something? Did you two split up, or is she kicking you out? Aren't you staying at her place? I understand the visa's about to expire.
I think there's a lesson to be learned here for a lot of us about responsibility. I used to see posts in the chnlove forums often, from men who are on fixed incomes asking (usually whining) about not being able to meet the minimum income requirement for spousal visas. It's obvious where I'm heading with this line of thought.
Here's a personal anecdote: a friend of mine recently got fired from her job for being moody and short (snappy) with customers. She has 2 children and really can't afford to be out of work, especially in this economy. It's a hard lesson to learn, especially at her age. It's something she should have figured out when she was a teenager.
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I used to see posts in the chnlove forums often, from men who are on fixed incomes asking (usually whining) about not being able to meet the minimum income requirement for spousal visas.
What minimum income requirement?
Willy
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Thoughtful post as ever Mike.
It is an important consideration, romance and everything is nice and wonderful , but there has to be a realism about all this too. What woman is going to move halfway around the world, to a totally different culture she has no experience of?, where people speak a language she isn't fluent in and where she knows nobody and that man has not got a job to give her security? The dole in the UK may be generous by Chinese standards but its not luxurious living for sure.
Rob I really do wish you all the best, but mate you need to swallow your pride and ask your family to help you out, that's what families are for no matter what sacrifices they have to make to help you out.
Maybe Willy is right, when you get back, tear up the passport and move on with your life back home.
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Thanks guys..
Mike your right on all points..
Ronan I have asked my family to help out, they are also trying.
ADDED later
Please don't think I am 'taking' the huff in any way at any bodies comments...BECAUSE I am NOT
I got myself into this mess, I will get myself out of it..
At the end of the day, when my visa runs out, I will just hand myself over to the police and hope they deport me...One way or another I will get back to the UK. I have all day long to think about differnt ways of getting back. If I don't get deported, then I will get by....
As I was looking about the place today, I saw many sights and thought to myself, "THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, GO I"
I am no means the first 'STUPID' foreigner to have over stayed in another country...AND, for sure, I will NOT be the last !!!
We spoke tonight, she is letting me stay at the house til my visa ends...
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OK How about having a Fund set up to help Rob and we all contribute what they can? I'm just the idea man, does anyone here have experience with this sort of thing?
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At the end of the day, when my visa runs out, I will just hand myself over to the police and hope they deport me...One way or another I will get back to the UK. I have all day long to think about different ways of getting back. If I don't get deported, then I will get by....
Didn't you say that they won't deport you? They aren't likely to pay for a flight home, and bill you. I don't think jail is much of a free ride either. I'd head to an airport - you can hang out there for a few days.
Ok, was the ticket that got torn up an open-ended ticket (use at any date)? losing it is the same as tearing it up - it has to be replaceable. in fact, I've never even had a return ticket printed. I just showed up at my scheduled time and showed them my passport and they printed me a ticket. Rob, we're gonna need details if you want us to help - which airline, specifics. And a timeline would be nice - when exactly does the visa expire? It would really suck if we manage to round up a trip home and we have no way of contacting you because you're living under a bridge somewhere.
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As far as what as happened Rob it is embarrassing to say the least
I feel the way willy feels at this moment dam mad
but I hope you return home and go get yourself a job very quick and try to rescue your relationship
(I have a saying never kick a man when he is down ) so do what you have to rob
buy the way willy I was told by my lawyer
that the minimum income need to bring your wife to England is £800 per month ( net of our wonderful extortionate tax ) food for thought?
as a final note you have to be prepared to work long hours if you have not got the money in the bank to pursue you Chinese dream
and that my friend Rob is the bottom line
now who is shedding the tears now ?? :( :( :( :(
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As the site admin, I will speak for the forum staff. This is not a personal thing, but we do not support setting up a fund. If anyone wants to do this privately, then this is their choice. Many factors were discussed before reaching this decision. Rob went to China a little less prepared than he should have. Maybe Rob can go to those that helped him go there, to get home again. This entire situation is more than a little upsetting to me, and goes way past what this group was started for. Members are now feeling obligated to provide financial assistance. I don't agree with this, and it should never have been asked of us.
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....it should never have been asked of us.
martin I agree wholeheartedly with this.
The only thing I can say is sorry
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....it should never have been asked of us.
martin I agree wholeheartedly with this.
The only thing I can say is sorry
That's a bullshit answer. We're here to help, if not financially, then we should help in other ways. This is a support forum. But it's pretty hard to help when people aren't honest with themselves, let alone the with the rest of the members. Ah, maybe you're getting the help you need via PM or QQ. I hope that's the case. Good luck.
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what do you want me to say Neil?
I know this is a support group, and what I asked should not have been asked of the members. Buit at the time it felt like it was my last hope. I had tried other avenues on my own, through my family, through friends in the Uk. My 'Sponsor', I could not even have the 'GUTS' to ask for his help. Do you really know how embarressing for me this is?
Do you really know, how it feels, to have to ask anyone for financial help like this?
I could have done this privatly by PM, BUT I chose NOT too.
I opened up to EVERYONE ON HERE, THE WHOLE MEMBERSHIP, and done it that way.
Do you know how it must feel, to think what 400+ guys 'think' about you?
Yes I was 'less' prepared than I thought, and yes I 'will' tear up my passport when I get back (if I get back).
What else can I say?
I am NOT getting any help from anywhere, but thanks anyway Neil
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At the end of the day, when my visa runs out, I will just hand myself over to the police and hope they deport me...One way or another I will get back to the UK. I have all day long to think about different ways of getting back. If I don't get deported, then I will get by....
Didn't you say that they won't deport you? They aren't likely to pay for a flight home, and bill you. I don't think jail is much of a free ride either. I'd head to an airport - you can hang out there for a few days.
Ok, was the ticket that got torn up an open-ended ticket (use at any date)? losing it is the same as tearing it up - it has to be replaceable. in fact, I've never even had a return ticket printed. I just showed up at my scheduled time and showed them my passport and they printed me a ticket. Rob, we're gonna need details if you want us to help - which airline, specifics. And a timeline would be nice - when exactly does the visa expire? It would really suck if we manage to round up a trip home and we have no way of contacting you because you're living under a bridge somewhere.
Answering questions couldn't hurt.
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Rob,
I would not under any circumstances hand myself over to the Chinese police. That is just crazy talk what do you think they are going to do? At best they will tell you to go away and at worst put you in the cells for who knows how long. If you can get no help from anyone then sell your laptop and get a bus ticket to Hong Kong. You get an automatic 6 month visa and as it use to have close ties with the UK chances are you will be treated better. Do it now, don't wait for the time you have left to be legally in China to run out. As Neil has pointed out answering his questions might also help you too.......
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Ok firstly Neil I apologise...
I had already mentioned that the Uk embassy won't pay for any flight home. They will only repatriate DEAD people. My thinking was that REPATRIATION and DEPORTATION were two different sides of the same coin. Meaning I thought they were diffent.
The ticket could not have been open ended because, the airline operators would not change it. Apparently, this could only be done by 'going' to the place I got the ticket from. Which is in Barrow.
I had the money to change the ticket, but when I found out it could not be done, I STUPIDLY went and usud it on a flight to Beijing, BECAUSE the way I was reading things, I WOULD BE REPATRIATED...
My visa expires on the 31st October
I am in Zhucheng, the airport out would be Qingdao (Tao)
Airline would be eaither China Southern or China Eastern
My original flight detail were qingdao - bejing - Amsterdam - Manchester
thank you anyway
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Hi all
I just signed on for the first time to read the "Rob Horror Story"
I dont know what was the full story...but I can see the disastrous ending......
I will pay to get Rob back home again...but I dont know how to go about it "cause I am in China (*Chengdu"
Anybody got any clues how I can go about doing something ????
David
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David E that is very generous.You can buy Rob the ticket just like Mike said.And Rob can pick the ticket up at the check in desk.Using his passport.
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Thank you David...You know the rest...
To let the others know, I have already thanked David by PM
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That is very nice of David. Sorry if I seemed a little short or snappy Rob. I know how stressful and uncomfortable (frightening even) this all could be. Get home safe.
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“I could not even have the 'GUTS' to ask for his help. Do you really know how embarressing for me this is?
Do you really know, how it feels, to have to ask anyone for financial help like this?”
I can understand, but when you face to "emergency",there is not"embarressing" to feel about.
One of my friends have a hardest time in his life these days because of his father was in hospital need 400.000RMB or so , he use up all his money ,and borrow from his family and best friends, but still lack of money to pay the hospital. he has no choice to ask girls for help. What I feel is I am shameless that I only can gather Fortieth to help but I have try my best. This make me think if one day it happens to me, what I can do ?
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David,
That is a great gesture.
Not sure if anyone has said how to do it yet. Go to elong.com that is the China version of expedia. You can look up the prices etc as anywhere else. The prices are good especially the one that goes via Moscow to London. Telephone them and speak to English speaking chinese to make booking and you may well find it even cheaper than on line as I did.
Then to pay if you do not want to give the details of your debit card then they will give you a Bank Account details and you get 24 hours to pay cash into a bank. I think the bank will charge 50 rmb extra.
That is how I did our last trip to UK.
Willy
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I agree with Martin there is no place for this here on the forum. This journey must be well prepared and
even the most well planned ones dont work out but you must always have a plan and money to go home
when you start it. sorry ruff but true
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“I could not even have the 'GUTS' to ask for his help. Do you really know how embarressing for me this is?
Do you really know, how it feels, to have to ask anyone for financial help like this?”
I can understand, but when you face to "emergency",there is not"embarressing" to feel about.
One of my friends have a hardest time in his life these days because of his father was in hospital need 400.000RMB or so , he use up all his money ,and borrow from his family and best friends, but still lack of money to pay the hospital. he has no choice to ask girls for help. What I feel is I am shameless that I only can gather Fortieth to help but I have try my best. This make me think if one day it happens to me, what I can do ?
I don't know the particulars of that hospital situation but that's why people have hospital insurance [ even in China ]. If the excuse is that one can't afford insurance, well you can't afford not to have it, even if just a small amount. then you don't have to burden your friends/family. If someone asks for help, family & friends feel an obligation to help out. Simply by telling your story and situation, people will come forward and help ... without you asking for help. That's the moral and logical way of asking indirectly.
Chen ... this situation with Rob isn't an emergency, it was self-inflicted.
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I used to see posts in the chnlove forums often, from men who are on fixed incomes asking (usually whining) about not being able to meet the minimum income requirement for spousal visas.
What guys on a fixed income can't afford it? Well that's BS if I ever heard it. I am on a fixed income and qualify just fine. Maybe if they are on social security and never really ever worked. It's not a lot but a Minimum of 20K even on Social Security is pretty typical.
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Rob went there and Sopie was aware that if he couldnt nail work he would have to return .He did try to explain to her that since he hadnt gotten any work that he was going to leave and break this off He saw how sad she was and tried to prove to her that he was in love with her so he tore the ticket up .As far as ripping her heart out that was not his intention and she was aware of all this he didnt lead her on.Rob wears his heart on his sleeve and what he should have done was discuss it with her that he would seek work from his home for next year in the meantime they would wait until he had some confirmation.I am not going to cheer him on or give him a pep talk he is aware of his mistakes but please dont make it look like he did this without concsience . Ron
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Rob went there and Sopie was aware that if he couldnt nail work he would have to return .He did try to explain to her that since he hadnt gotten any work that he was going to leave and break this off He saw how sad she was and tried to prove to her that he was in love with her so he tore the ticket up .As far as ripping her heart out that was not his intention and she was aware of all this he didn't lead her on.Rob wears his heart on his sleeve and what he should have done was discuss it with her that he would seek work from his home for next year in the meantime they would wait until he had some confirmation.I am not going to cheer him on or give him a pep talk he is aware of his mistakes but please don't make it look like he did this without conscience . Ron
Why would he have to break it off? most guys when they are first married can't stay with the wife in the beginning gotta go home and work, or Plan for the next trip.
" Honey I am sorry but I gotta go home for awhile, I love you and will be back real soon" They always cry and get scared, But that goes away as soon as you call them from home. Hey I have done it twice and it's not easy. But then sometimes being a husband and a father is not easy either. You have to make some very unpopular decisions sometimes. And these women expect their man to do this he is the head of the house. They may not like it, but until you show you are not making the decision in the best interest of her and the family, they will support you in it.
My wife cried all day a few days ago when she thought her visa was dead, and I was going back to the US to take care of the kids and some other business. But now she understands why I would go and what I would be doing. And now she tells me to hurry up and go so I can hurry up and get back. She knows I am coming back.
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From what I had read in his previous posts and I dont know why he didnt just explain he will have to re organise and set up another trip he was telling her he was leaving and he tore up his ticket to prove he loved her.And that put him in a bigger fix.I dont know if anyone had tried to pm him and maybe given him advice.The biggest thing here is he reacted on emotions instead of thinking it through. Ron
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Guys, please no more arguments about this...
Each and everyone who has expressed their feelings are 'right'........ to some extent.
I should have had my ticket 'Open Ended'
Yes, I should have made sure I had more money than I did.
Yes I should have secured work
Yes I should have prepared better than I did..(In hindsight, I thought I did)
I explained about having to return to the UK after we get married
I explained that I would need to get work at home for a return trip
These points are all down to me. Martin and the mods are RIGHT, I should not have tried to 'Burden' my friends on here, for that gentlemen and ladies I really do APOLOGISE
As I said, once I am home, I will give the full story. Willy did have a real go at me through PM, rightly so (In his eyes), but as I did say, they are 2 sides to each story. There were factors at work, that I will not go into at this moment.
I have always said this is my fault, most of it is!! But not all and this will become apparent, I will not attack the chinese women on here because of one person, but neither will I REALLY defend my decision to say what I will be saying (Later) or to ask for help.
So I ask again, PLEASE NO MORE ARGUEMENTS ABOUT THIS
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From what I had read in his previous posts and I dont know why he didnt just explain he will have to re organise and set up another trip he was telling her he was leaving and he tore up his ticket to prove he loved her.And that put him in a bigger fix.I dont know if anyone had tried to pm him and maybe given him advice.The biggest thing here is he reacted on emotions instead of thinking it through. Ron
Ron, are you the Max Clifford for fallen Scotsmen? ( Maybe only the Brits will understand that but he does all the PR for fallen hero's in UK.) How long have you been on here. Was you here a year earlier when he went to China, met a nice lady and he came back telling us all that she was the best thing sliced bread!!! Then a couple of weeks later she was replaced by a women he met on the internet. He is not unexperienced in China. He new that due to certain things he was unlikely to get work here. He tried it before and he failed so why did he think of doing it again.
He was given plenty of advice from many people. Robbie is in contact by PM and em and qq and telephone with probably more members on this forum than anyone else. He has received a lot of advice. When I realised he was in Beijing and going to the embassy I made enquiries concerning repatriation and then found that I could not contact him by telephone or text. 12 hours later I was still trying to contact him and put things on the shout box asking if anyone had heard from him.
I was afraid that maybe he would end up being repatriated in a box. Of course he was getting mixed advice. That was because everyone was getting different stories on the same day.
All he should do is to get himself back here on the first available flight. Not wait to play out his visa until the 26th or whatever day it is. Then forget about China - it is not going to be available to him for another 11 years then he will be able to live here on his pension.
Oh Happy Birthday Rob - well that is what Skype told me today. Hope they have been given the right information!!!!
Willy
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Oh Happy Birthday Rob - well that is what Skype told me today. Hope they have been given the right information!!!!
Willy
The finest British sarcasm
Yes ron was here the last time
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There isnt an argument from me to anyone on here.I see this as a very embarrassing situation .I may not know all the info such as private messages.I do know what I have read.Yes I am very familiar with Robs last trip I read everything on it as it happened.His approach and mine are 2 different things .There is nothing to be gained by being critical of what he has done .Only that he has learned from this and hopefully steps back and look at it.Hopefully at the end of the day we have all learned something from all this. Happy Birthday Rob
Ron
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I made enquiries concerning repatriation and then found that I could not contact him by telephone or text. 12 hours later I was still trying to contact him and put things on the shout box asking if anyone had heard from him.
I was afraid that maybe he would end up being repatriated in a box.
Willy after we spoke in Beijing, my credit ran out, and there was no way for me to get any...Sorry
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Wow..
feels more like a bad "side" of your trip in China, Rob.
I hope you're safe and that you can be fine, by now.
Oh, Happy Birthday !!!
I hope you can go back home the best way you can, and that everything can go fine with Sophie.
By the way... I can only agree most of the brotherdhood's comments, but well..
Sometimes, we must "anticipate" many things... because everything can happen, anytime.
Just take care, and don't let your head downside, Rob.
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Happy Birthday Rob.
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Where do I start !!!
Firstly, thanks for all the help, support and lamblasting that I recieved. I am NOT saying this to be facetious, I am saying this because I really do want to say thanks. I know the blasting I recieved was 'earned' by me, so I take it the way it is giving. I was 'told' many times BUT I did not listen.
I have been told through Pm that there is a suggestion going around, that I only got a 'ONE WAY TICKET HERE' AND USED THE REST OF THE MONEY. Well I will tell everyone on this forum, if anyone wants to contact me through my Yahoo ex_jock52@yahoo.com, and see the ticket through web cam THEY ARE MORE THAN WELCOME. In fact I hope someone does, AND they can TELL the rest of you THEY saw the ripped ticket.
Maxx has said this many times, 'This' journey is not for everyone...
This is my second trip here, and I should have 'learned' from the first one. After Qingdao I decided to go back to the UK to 'learn' to speak 'slower' so I could be understood if I wanted work. now after a few months there, I 'felt' AND was told privetly that I do speak slower and better, and I can now be understood, so I made the journey back to try again. Everyone has a dream, I am no different...
'Lliving' in China is more than likely NOT for me, HOWEVER, that does not mean that having a Chinese woman as a wife is also not for me. Because of MY inability to read what was a 'loving act' as that, I have lost everything. When I say everything, I am not just talking about the 'lady' I loved, I am also talking about losing friends, respectability, and any good reputation that I may or may not have had. Now I am not here to say, please feel sorry for me, because, I'm not....THIS was my own fault.
THE NIGHT I RIPPED MY TICKET
Sophie had 'Talked' me out of returning, but later that night, she got 'apprehensive' and 'worried', so to show her, it was her I wanted, I ripped the ticket up. I won't go into details, I know now how stupid it was, and as Willy quite rightly pointed out, I should have left then.
THE DAY I WENT TO BEIJING
The morning there was an incident while she was feeding me with the chopsticks, I (again) as Willy pointed out to me)) totally misconstrued this to be an act of violence, because it was not the first time this had happened. So I let rip and shouted, she returned it in kind, I went to the room, let her go to work and I left. While on the bus to Qingdao I texted her and told her I was gone. NOW before ANYONE says anything, I KNOW HOW WRONG THIS WAS, and this is also eating me up. This 'incident' as Willy told me, if I say it, I will be 'the laughing stock of the forum' BUT whats new, I am that anyway at the moment...right?
All the time on the bus, in Qingdao airport and when I arrived in Beijing, all the emotions were going through me, 'Am I doing the right thing?' After I landed in Beijing, I read the texts she had sent me, 'She was sorry', 'please come back'. I called Willy up and told him how I felt, that I had made the biggest MISTAKE OF MY LIFE BY LEAVING. I then contacted Sophie, and told her I would come back to Zhucheng vie Weifang, if that is what she wanted. She agreed.
At that time I had a total of 144 rmb on me with a further 45 rmb in the bank. I got the bus (in Beijing airport) into the train station where I purchased the ticket back. By litrally 10 seconds, after been told what platformm to get the train on, I missed the train. I had to wait until 22.48pm the next night, as there are only one train a day goes there. So I had to stay in the station all night, the next day I went to the Brittish Embassy. Now if they would have said YES to repatriation, I probably would have went...
At the moment, I am still at Sophies home, and we are talking. Can it be salvaged, .. possibly, possibly not? We will just have to wait and see
She went out from work yesterday and bought me a present and BIG birthday cake...
What we both know is, that if we do manage to fix it, then She knows I will have to go back for work etc...I did tell her this through other mediums before I came here. BUT the guys with wifes and girlfriends will tell you, they listen but don't hear...
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Rob,
Listen but dont hear is a good way of putting it. But they do seem to hear well when another chinese person
fills their ear with crap. Its causing me to divorce but thhats ok as i have always said changes are good and
im to old to have the crap. So the only one who can make the decision to stay or go IS YOU. I have made mine
and even though its not the way i wanted it to end i will not regret it because I MADE THE DECISION. Your talking
so see what comes out of it, but listen to your heart like i did. Thats the best way to do it. Money is what destroys
these relationships and also that bu@@##$% tradition crap that must be followed with total disregard to were youre
from. It should always be a two way street in all relationships and i suggest the ones starting out to really have some
deep discussions before commiting. And even then it doesnt always work out for the best.
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Leaving in an hour.
flying from Beijing tomorrow...
To a certain member who thinks this was easy for me to do...think again
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While I am curious about the chopstick thing its probably best left where it is.
Rob you are a nice guy, I wish you all the best and I am relieved you are going back home where you are safe and not a few RMB from living on the street!
I admire you for trying, you can look back and say no regrets, you made a couple of mistakes for sure but who doesn't?, you took a chance going back and I admire you for that.
It wasn't for you, life moves on , you now now that, no regrets mate.
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Rob,
Listen but dont hear is a good way of putting it. But they do seem to hear well when another chinese person fills their ear with crap. Its causing me to divorce but thhats ok as i have always said changes are good and im to old to have the crap. So the only one who can make the decision to stay or go IS YOU. I have made mine and even though its not the way i wanted it to end i will not regret it because I MADE THE DECISION. Your talking so see what comes out of it, but listen to your heart like i did. Thats the best way to do it. Money is what destroys these relationships and also that bu@@##$% tradition crap that must be followed with total disregard to were youre from. It should always be a two way street in all relationships and i suggest the ones starting out to really have some deep discussions before commiting. And even then it doesnt always work out for the best.
Hey Ted,
Sorry to hear about the bad news. It's true a relationship is a two way street and both sides have to have some respect for the other's viewpoint.
Good advice on the end, hope everyone takes that part to heart.
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hELLO GUYS.
lOOK I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WILL BELIEVE ME OR NOT, BUT I REALLY AM SORRY FOR ASKING FOR MONETARY HELP FROM YOU LOT...I FELT MY BACK WAS AGAINST THE WALL..
SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME,,,
i GOT BACK INTO BARROW ABOUT 40 MINUTES AGO.
I WAS 12 HOURS TRAVELLING BY CAR, BUS AND SUBWAY YESTERDAY GETTING TO BEIJING., SLEPT IN THE AIRPORT, QUITE COMFORTABLY, AND GOT THE PLANE THIS MORNING AT 11.15, ...10 HOUR FLIGHT, ARRIVED AT HEATHROW 15.15
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Rob, Glad you are back. Don't worry if there are any ruffled feathers left they will settle down after time.
Now, and you already know this but you know what to do for the future.
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Well you are back home this is a good thing. You did piss some of the guys off. and I am sure most will get over it.
Here's my best advice for you. Kinda going along with what Shaun had said. Now you need to just forget it, Don't bring it up again. Every time you do it is a reminder. And it will spark any negative feeling anyone had all over again.
So you are home safe, and as Shaun said you know what to do. So now that's what you should do.
Sophie sounds like a pretty good gal. Do right by her and do it the right way. She deserves it.
Good luck
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So Rob now that your back home, what is the plan for you and Sophie? Are the
two of you goint to keep talking? And maybe work something out in the future?
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Yes mate, we talking and working it out.
:D :D
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It's over...
Thanks for the help, the tips, the humour, the tears...
I lost everything
Goodbye everyone
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I lost everything
Goodbye everyone
I hope this doesn't mean you are heading for a tall bridge....
There's always hope, Get organised, learn from your mistakes, and do it better next time! (no tearing up tickets, plenty of funds in reserve, and a solid job.)
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Rob,
It's over? :o I though you said you were going to explain everything. If it is over take a few days to contemplate the issues. You know we are here for you so PM me if you need.
No condemnation here.
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Dont let some failed relationship with one of these Chinese women get you down.
To many more were they come from to cry over spilled milk!!!!
Get up get going and move on to greener pastures.
No need to explain anything either it is your personal issues that you need to work thru.
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Rob by quiting you gain nothing.Get your life in order.Family home Job.Then you try again with another lady.Then the good things will start to happen again..Believe in yourself.Then others will believe in you.
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Rob,
Don't give up now. You have way too much invested in this to give up the ship. Take a break for a while. Think things through again. Prepare yourself better. Just take things a little more cautiously next time. ;)
Dave C
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Robert James !!!!
Read my PM...and read it CAREFULLY !!!!!
David
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Rob,
Read Davids PM and quit feeling sorry for yourself!! Pick yourself up and move on. Remember
when one door closes another one opens!! Everyone has a time when things dont go right but
you just need to challenge the challenge!!!
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Hello guys
Firstly thank you for the Pm's and messages... Tne thing about me is "I MAY BE DOWN AT THIS MOMENT, BUT, I AM NOT OUT!!!" I want to tell you about this whole thing....so here goes... :D
Before I went to China, I was saving up as best I could, being on the sickness benifit in the uk. Possibly like the rest of the Western world, you do not get paid much, so you will probably understand what I'm talking about. Me and Sopie spoke for a few months, as you all know, but it got to the stage were she thought I was not going to visit her. I explained the money situation to her but it did not seem to 'sink' in. Anyway, she told me that if I did not go there within a certain time, there was a good chance that i would lose her!!! She looked absolutely gorgeous too me and there was no way i was going to pass up tis opportunity. My 'Sponsor' got in touch with me and offered to pay for my flight, at first I refused (I think that's right mate wasnt it?), but then it got offered again, which I accepted...
Just before I left, my 'washing machine' sprang a leak. So I thought, not to worry, the kids can get it sorted while I'm away. So off I go on my adventure. In my mind there was the stress of hopefully changing the mothers and families mind abot her choice of partner. Once I got into Qingdao, there was the worry, 'WOULD she really be there to meet me? For the first 5 weeks everything was good between us, a couple of little niggly things to sort out, for example, the 'feeding' when you've had enough, and the not listening/hearing to what is being said.
While I was there ALMOST daily I would receive texts from home from the kids saying things like, 'he done thise.....she done this!..... dad gonna tell him/her!!!.... Then there where the phone calls fom them. On top of this, there was the texts and phone calls from the neighbours and friends telling me, my daughters dog was barking all night, or gonna get them to turn the music down etc etc etc...
You already heard the story about me and Sophie - about the Single certificate and going to the wrong place. Once we got to Beijiing to get the certificate, the next day we got the certificate paid, and I got refused to withdraw money from my account. which was sorted when we got back to Zhucheng.
Sophie had gotten the place where we lived, so we did not have to stay at her moms. We had no television, no radio, the only time I could listen to music was through the earphones on the computer, and you all know how 'old' 'bad' my machine is hehe I did not like ALL the food, I did not understand the language, no one to speak too, Sophie was at work all day. We had no hot water, no shower, no proper cooking facilities. So maybe now you will understand my earlier post about missing the Western way of life.
The night before I was to fly back, she 'talked' me out of coming, so I ripped the ticket. Well you know this story. The next morning once I had woken up, the ticket pieces had been taken out of the bin and put into the drawer, Sophie contacted me through yahoo and told me it was there. For a couple of days, all that was being said to me was, 'you should go back to Scotland for your kids. By this time it was too late.
The day I left you know the story and about Beijing. and the Brittish Embassy. What I never told you was this part. Once the train reached Weifang on the way back to Zhucheng, I inquired about the cost of the bus ticket, I did not have enough money on me. It was 06.30 am so i went and looked for the Bank of China, I knew I had 45 rmb in my account, so I assumed I would be able to withdraw it over the counter....Once the bank opened at 09.00am I went in, and spoke to one of the managers, upshot, I could NOT withdraw that amount. So I was 'Stuck', I wandered the streets for an hour thinking of my options. I eventually saw someone using their phone, so I asked if I could phone Sophie, after explaining my position to them, they agreed. So i phoned her, she told me to wait ther she would be a couple of hours. Once I put the phone down I was speaking to this person and Sophie rang back, this women spoke to her for a few minutes and then as i was leaving, she pushed the phone towards me saying it was for me. It was Sophie, she asked me WHO this woman was and then said again to wait for her.
About 2 hours later, Sophie turned up. Her ONLY concern was how I was!! Was I tired? was I hungry? Nothing else mattered to her as long as I was ok. We went and got the bus, and it was here she told me that her mom was very angry at her...NOT ME!!! BUT HER..THIS I will never understand. But because she was so angry Sophie decided that her mother no longer approved, so we had to finish it, and she was moving back to her moms house on the 31st October. This was when i got onto the brotherhood for help I think. Not sure, my head is still not with it. On hearing what the brothers had said, I REALLY started to panic then.
For the next couple of days there was a tention in the house - to be expected after what i done. The third day, Sophie done what I knew she needed to do, she broke down (I hadn't stopped, everything was going through my head). NOW I AM NOT SAYING THIS TO GET SYMPATHY OR ANYONE TO TAKE MY SIDE, AFTER WHAT I HAD DONE, I DESERVED EVERYTHING I GOT.
The morning I was leaving, Sophie left to go to work and just said to "Bye Rob" and walked out the door. I walked to the window to watch her walking away, and 5 minutes past and she still had not been seen. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, I answered it, it was Sphie, we BOTH fll into each others arms and cried, then kissed and cried some more, then she left. As I watched her walking away my heart was tearing i saw her turn round 3 times to look for me, all I could do was wave and blow kisses. That was my LAST view of her. 15 minutes later, I locked the door and went for the taxi
The following morning after spending the night in the airport, I was still rather upset, knowing what I had done. I went to the information desk to see about my ticket, I was sent to 4 different sections, at each one I was told, 'No Sir, your section is L, F, C, H. After going to H and was being sent to section B, I went for a smoke. I stood outside and started talking to myself, I said "If I have fucked up, this thing about the ticket, i am just going to jump off here", it was about 150 metres high. When I went to the desk, i threw my laptop down in anger but everything was ok at this section, and I got back.
Once back in Barrow and after speaking to my son, I plugged the computer in, guess what, the screen has cracked, so i am using only less than half of it right now. The next day, I used the washing machine, it was only a little leak before I though. once it started and was going, the drum split and flooded the place. After i mopped it up I went for a walk to clear my head.
Once back I prepared the dinner and put it on, went into the living room too check the football results and heard a BANG. The cooker blew up. NOW I KNOW THIS SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE. I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY AND MY GRANDCHILDRENS LIFES, THIS REALLY HAPPENED.
If I was to jump from the highest tower in the world, to try and commit suicide, with my luck, I would land on a mattress. Today I went to the doctors, she is going to sort me out. So for the next few weeks, I may not be in here as often, so don't worry. It WILL take time for me to heal..
Concerning Sophie, Nothing is over until the fat lady sings, I am not giving up this easy...If I am right, things may work out given time..
See you later guys...
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Thanks Rob ! We all appreciate I'm sure your Explaination of this difficult to handle Trip of your's , but do hope this could still be coming to a worthwhile and happy ending .
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Rob,
My father always used to say that sunshine follows the rain, better days ahead ;)
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Rob, we all have good days and bad days, good trips and bad trips. I hope that you have good days to report from now on. May all of your good days be more than your bad days.
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Rob,
I too hope that things will turn around for you now. We all have made mistakes in our lives. This is how we learn during our lives.
As an additional note, when I was in Singapore I got a phone call from home. It was from one of my 23 year old daughters. (I have twin girls) They were fighting over a belt! She wanted me to make her sister give it back to her. I just asked her what did she expect me to do from the other side of the planet. Kids eah?
I hope that you have better days ahead. Just take everything one step at a time.
Dave C
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Hi Rob.
Just want to say that i hope things turn to the better for you. Try to stay focused and you will make the future good for yourselv and the people close to you.
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Hi guys.
Thanks for the words they mean a lot to me...
Those I contacted through Pm, thanks for your ears :D :D
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Ok guys
Well I have not been coming in as often as I usually do. Basically I wanted to get my head sorted..
There has been some developments with Sophie and I...
As you can probably imagine, things were really awkward once I got back. Once I got back, I received a message on Yahoo from her, and we spoke for a little while. But this was just to make sure I arrived safely...
For a few days there was no contact from her...then she sent me a text saying hat she had promised her family, she would no longer contact me, which is understandable... :(
However, for the last 5 or 6 days she has contacted me and we have spoken every night (UK time), these chats have not been for the length of time we used to talk, but it's better than nothing. I should be grateful that she is even talking to me.
I have had private PM's with a couple of you guys so you know the script.. Well the developments were, firstly we were finished, then we are not finished, she wont marry me in china, but she will marry me in the uk.. And now it's reversed again. Also that she wants to come here to visit, and try to get work, because in her eyes, 'She could 'ADAPT' to our way of life'. I feel like I am the luckiest guy on the planet, considering :o
Tonight we spoke at length, and 'ironed' a few things out.
;D ;D ;D
ADDED
As a good friend of mine pointed out to me. Marriage although (that's the ultimate goal) is better NOT being on the agenda RIGHT NOW. He is right, I should prioritise and focus on winning her trust again, and being there for her when needed.
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That is good to hear Rob.
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Hello...This is Scott..
I have come on here to find out what has happened or has been said to my dad.
Since he came back from China, he has never been the same person? He has been very depressed and kept mentioning to us, something about losing his friends on here. Tonight I also found out that him and Sophie are also finished. I found her message on the computer.
Tonight when I came up to visit him, I found him lying on the floor. I have taken him to hospital where they pumped his tummy.
I knew about this place here where he posts so I thought you should all know, because he was always on this site..
Scott
I will let you know if there are any changes
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Scott,
I am really sad to hear this. I do not think he has lost friends here. He may have perceived that he lost a couple of them but there was a lot happening when he ran into his problems in China. Of course I am in America and can't even begin to perceive all that he has been going through but with all of the ups and downs and stress that it became overwhelming at times.
I hope he will be OK and if so let him know first that many of us will pray for him and secondly he does have friends here who are concerned.
Thanks for writing and letting us know Scott,
Shaun
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Guys, sorry Scott got his information wrong...
He did find me on the floor, but I did not take anything...He assumed that I had done. It was something to do with my heart angina. I fainted and was out for ages... He told the doctor the pill tub was empty and they flushed out my stomach. they would not listen to me that nothing was taken... :(
Sorry for the confusion..
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Hey Rob,
Glad to hear that you're ok. Fainting is never a good thing, especially when you've got people who care for you.
I do have one question. You guys buy medicine by the tub? Or is that just how you guys describe your pill bottles? To me, a tub (or pills) is akin to a small pail... something that could contain more than a year's worth of medicine of most types.
Feel better!
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usually they come in bottles, but mine came in a small tub like container mate...
The kind of container that holds cream.. ???
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Glad you're OK buddy. I was fearing the worst. I hate when bad things happen to good people.
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Glad you are ok Rob. Are they going to do any tests on you to see why the angina caused you to faint? But maybe I am prying a little too much. I am just curious about this.
Dave C
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Rob, I am glad you didn't take a bucket of pills. I hope you can get the angina thing figured out. You don't need that chasing you from now on. Sorry to hear about the letter too. Hope to hear back from you soon. --Shaun
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Rob I am glad you are ok.Wondered what had happened to you.atch the stress my friend that is one of the main things.And stay away from the butter lol.Glad you are feeling a little better. Ron
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Glad you are on the mend Rob , look after yourself , probably not enough black pudding [ sausage ] in your diet , regards Robert and Sujuan .
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Hi guys I was speaking Sophie tonight, and she mentioned that she wanted to send in a post. here it is:
Yingzhang: I would like you to send a message to the site......I want to tell them that we forgive and understand each other, we became good friends
This will be my very last post...
Goodbye guys, it was nice knowing you...
Rob
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Goodbye Rob. It was nice meeting you here. I hope that everything works out for you. Take care of yourself and your health.
Dave C
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Sad news indeed Rob :(Wish I would have gotten the chance to know you better-Best of Luck to you and yours always
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I have been talked out of leaving so just ignore my last post...
Good news, Just hold on a moment please...
*attaches E-cuffs to you and locks the other end to the forum*
There, now you can't get loose again.
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I was going to write this as a PM, but since Rob has gone and removed his account yet again, I'll just go ahead a post it.
Rob, you need to get over the fatalistic attitude. Drop the end of the world crap. It reminds me a lot of those women who watch soaps (and my ex wife). Stop worrying what everyone else thinks, and start being a stand-up guy. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If it turns to shit, deal with it. If you're done with China, then be done with it - there's no need to tell everyone here about it. There's no reason to go deleting accounts and ending friendships. Take a break, take a vacation. When things are settled down, maybe you'll decide to give it another go.
This forum doesn't have any prerequisites that say you have to be in a relationship, or be pursuing one in order to be here. You've been to China twice and have valuable information and ideas to share with others. People are genuinely interested in your opinions. Some of us even care about you.
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Neil
Thank you for that...I have taken it on board
Your right, this is the kick up the backside I needed...
I am back, and will give my opinion and useful advice to others when needed.
but, just as a passing salvo:-
(1)... I have only once deleted my account, and that was last night.
(2)... I have not ended friendships with anyone, (it has been the other way around)
(3)... Isn't that the reason for a thread, to spout the good things and bad things that happen in the relationship.
So as I said I will contribute to other threads...As for any relationship I may be in or not, I will not post on it...
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Hi Rob,
I agree with Neil, you have to keep going at this. Ignore the other guys here, us guys who are looking for Asian ladies should stick together. I'm currently in Japan gaining some incredible insights into Asian women, but it's sad that nobody here seems interested. Oh well, while men are getting ripped off and scammed in China, I have an entire country of beautiful ladies pretty much to myself :-*.
I could have given up after the Miss Wu saga, but I've met two more fantastic women on this trip (with another 2 meetings lined up for next week). Funnily enough one of the ladies I'm meeting dreams of going to Scotland ;D. I'll put in a good word for you.
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Hi Brett
Perhaps you are aware that our Forum is "China Love. info" !!!
Almost all of the guys here (myself included) have/had a specific reason for looking for our future partners in China.
And not all Chinese women are scammers and rip-off merchants. Of course, many of the Agencies are.
That you have decided to shift your attention to Japanese ladies is your business and I wish you well....but be careful not to get scammed by REAL professionals who are already very much "Westernised" and know all the tricks. Could be you are getting carefully sucked in..........Japanese Ladies are very clever and cunning...the awesome mixture of Asian looks, subtlety and "charm"...coupled with a large dose of Western greed and commercialism. !!! All that glisters, is not gold.
David
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Neil, everyone,
If I had to make a guess at what is happening with Rob is that he is getting intense pressure from his children. Combine that with the issues he has been having with his heart and some of the other minor issues then you see what he might be going through a little.
We all wish he would stay and be a part of this community but at the same time we all know he has to do what is best for him. I am sure that some have his phone number and/or email address and will try to see if there is anything they can do to help alleviate the pressure and hard feelings. I wish I had the info.
I think the best we can do is wish him well and tell him to come back soon and welcome him back if he chooses.
Shaun
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Rob,
As my old dad use to say "Your up and down more than a fiddlers elbow" Take some time to get back on an even keel, no need for all this coming and going lark. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all. ;)
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Ignore the other guys here, us guys who are looking for Asian ladies should stick together. I'm currently in Japan gaining some incredible insights into Asian women, but it's sad that nobody here seems interested. Oh well, while men are getting ripped off and scammed in China, I have an entire country of beautiful ladies pretty much to myself :-*.
I could have given up after the Miss Wu saga, but I've met two more fantastic women on this trip (with another 2 meetings lined up for next week).
Your comments about Chinese women are getting old Brett. Just because you failed in China doesn't mean everybody else does. Yeah, okay, ... you're the big Playboy in Japan. What happens after you fail in Japan, are you going to trash Japan and move on to Korean, Thai or Fillipino ladies ?
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Ok guys
As I mentioned I am back for good, and Sophie and I have 'sorted' our position...This time it's for good, we are going to be together....
Shaun thanks for your comments...
Brett, you too, ty but I am NOT interested in any other nationalities.
My post fron Sophie and where I mentioned goodbye to you all, it was not meant as a 'BAD' type of goodbye, it ws meant as a cherrio for now. Maybe it came across wrong. No harm intended. Sorry guys.
I was pleased to read thati have 'valuable' information that I could share, and that lots of you 'care' about me..Cheers
Rob
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hi rob , it is joey in oldham, i asked you if you need help with me being British drop me a line (with out result) as for your Chinese journey , it as been something so very special
some of the things you have mentioned are a embarrassment (not in china back home in UK )
but one thing i know Rob you were you heart on your sleeve and for that i take my hat of to you
you seem to be the joker in the pack :) :)
now it seems you and your lady have sorted out things so time to move on from now
i hope you have success and you both a happy
for the record rob i have had some failures in my quest in china
but now i am getting married during the Chinese new year ?
nothing guaranteed in life bar death and taxes
look after yourself rob
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Joey
Sorry mate thought I had answered you... :(
Just sent you a pm..
Congrats on you upcoming wedding... :D
Oh by the way guys, I will still be posting about my advntures etc..I was just a little stressed out when I wrote that post saying I wouldn't..
The reason i am still going to post about them is simple. I HATE not knowing what is going on with my friends... :D ;D
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Ignore the other guys here, us guys who are looking for Asian ladies should stick together. I'm currently in Japan gaining some incredible insights into Asian women, but it's sad that nobody here seems interested. Oh well, while men are getting ripped off and scammed in China, I have an entire country of beautiful ladies pretty much to myself :-*.
I could have given up after the Miss Wu saga, but I've met two more fantastic women on this trip (with another 2 meetings lined up for next week).
Your comments about Chinese women are getting old Brett. Just because you failed in China doesn't mean everybody else does. Yeah, okay, ... you're the big Playboy in Japan. What happens after you fail in Japan, are you going to trash Japan and move on to Korean, Thai or Filipino ladies ?
Thank you Chong took the words right out of my own mouth.
Don't worry about the women guys. The government will screw you so bad, You will think everything else is good.
No matter where your wife comes from.
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For Sophie...
James Blunt - You're Beautiful (Video) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oofSnsGkops#)
Added boxing day....
Sinead O'Connor Nothing Compares To You lyrics listening and learning english songs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jv-0foinNA#)
No arnold it was just to let her know I thought she waS BEAUTIFUL
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Sad but wonderfully done Video .
Rob , now this gives one two meanings .. either your giving up or there REALLY is no hope for you and Sophie ever bei........ ?