China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: 2hip on January 30, 2012, 08:03:38 pm
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I told my lady that our language problem is just a momentary problem. This way she won't be able to really discern what a bad guy I am until we are married....he he he...just joking guys...(and I have learned to "can" my joking with chinese women)
So, the question I have needs to be answered by guys who married or date ladies that are over 40. I know that the younger they are the quicker they will be able to pick up the language. But my exact question is:
Once you get the lady to your home country how long does it take for her to pick up reasonable language skills? She can ask you routine questions. Can respond to routine conversations. Can talk about feelings, anxieties, and needs. You know just normal conversation. Not asking her to be able to discuss how a jet turbine spins up type of thing.
What is your experience? Please share what you have experienced.
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It should be easier for you than for me as she will be learning English far quicker than you learn Chinese as she will be subjected to English every day.
My wife is in late 40's and had no English at all when we first met. It has never been a problem.
In my case after being married for more than two years we still have small talk. No deep conversastions in English. Hardly any words in Chinese as my wife always speaks in what is probably more Chinglish than English.
Even living here since 2009 I still find learning Chinese is difficult and retaining words at my age is almost a no go area.
When I first met my wife we had labels on everything around the house. They were in English but also in phonetic Chinese so she could learn the sound of the word.
For me it has been a slow process but that suits my character anyway. I was never one for long deep conversations.
Willy
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Ming has now been in Aus for 7 months. She begins her "formal" English lessons (provided by the Aus Government) on Feb 3rd. She has had no other formal teaching, only what is spoken between me and her, and her and the people she comes into contact with, and with what she learns from the (rubbish) Chinese text books she brought with her..
Already she has learned enough to pass the written Examination for a Drivers License Permit, she has learned enough to pass her on-road Driving test and can go shopping, driving around with no fears about communicating with anyone. OK, she cannot hold a detailed conversation about the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire ;D ;D, but her and my conversations are now quite detailed, and with a little help (different accents) can converse and understand most people she meets.
She is 44 years old, and I couldnt say she is an academic, she has no particular brilliance at learning language....but same as all Chinese Women, she is bloody determined to do it, and to do it right.
Have no fears...your partner will surprise you with how quickly she picks it all up...provided you are willing to help continually, and be calm and friendly about it...they cannot be bullied into learning anything...they just clam up !!!
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Jing was 27 when she followed me to America. I sent her to ESL school for adults and also a semester of ELS at the community college. She could have simple conversations and communicate while shopping after about 6 months. But she did not improve any further for years until she opened her beauty shop. She had many Chinese friends in America and the need to learn more english was not there until she started her business.
Fiona is 43 Her English is quite good enough for conversations. She learned all her English from watching english movies with Chinese subtitles. (rewind-play-rewind-play). Some things she has learned all wrong and it is going to take a lot of effort and time to un-learn them but being her husband I can tutor her on the correct ways to speak.
Both of my Chinese wives had great difficulty expressing feelings, anxieties and personal needs in English. Both of them have said that is is much easier to communicate these things in their native language. This is very VERY important. They need someone to talk to that understands both the language and the culture. Otherwise they will feel isolated and frustrated. Find her at least one good bilingual friend to talk with and that can help you understand how your wife feels.
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thank you guys for your input. Hoping for a good outcome on this trip. I am holding my breath. Afraid I will awake to a nighmare. Things are too good....