China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: vincent on September 22, 2012, 02:55:46 pm
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i don't know what to do or say so im just going to say it, need help in being able to seeing and every thing else & ill explain here. i met the girl of my dreams about 5 months ago on a sight called Asian-Girls-Online. about a month ago they did some stuff , which i wont go into right now, which made me & my girl come to Chnlove ,her idea. now i got her email & her phone number to call her but i guess calling her cost her (when she answers my calls). & emailing is hard to do cause she can only answer them when she at the agency & from what i understand they don't like her answering her emails there in fact she has got in a lot of trouble in doing so. i know she is real cause i was able to See her when we were on Asian-Girls-Online ( i could see her but she couldn't see me, just the way that sight is setup) & iv talked to her & heard her voice ( i even called her while on the video/web cam) so i know she is 100% real. i don't make a lot of money & using the sight gets expensive. i don't know what to do, i know iv only known her for 5 months but i feel like iv known her for years. i love this girl & i feel like im letting her down cause i cant do more to talk to her & be with her, she says she understands but still... talking to her just on weekends for only a few hours just isn't enough for me or her. i don't know what to do who to go to for help, id give everything up for my girl. i try to be a strong man but this is bringing me to my knees. i need help, can someone please help me rather it be advice or what.. i just dont know what to do ...
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vincent,
I would be wary about the move to ChnLove being her idea. I have heard of agencies listing their clients on many free sites and after men answer and become emotionally involved then suddenly have to use ChnLove. The free sites are used for reaching a broader base of men who prefer to use free or inexpensive sites. This is basically a form of bait and switch, because any communication on ChnLove will cost you. I am not saying this is your case, but I would be very cautious! If you and her want a simple and effective method then you both should use QQ, but I suspect that if your are dealing with an agency/translator she will find many reasons why she can not use QQ also. I have a site myself that has options that allow people to communicate free of charge also so I know there is many options available if she truly wants to communicate directly! The international version of QQ has a translator for chatting that actually does a decent job and web cam with audio capabilities also. Here is the link for QQ international http://www.imqq.com/ (http://www.imqq.com/) Best Wishes and Good Luck, Robertt
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Sorry Vincent
But I have to agree with Robert's comments, it is very likely that you have been "conned" into moving this "relationship" to CHNLove because that way they can squeeze you for more money.
It is absolutely essential that you get to comminicate with your Lady on QQ..it is easy and it is free.
If there are any reasons why she WONT talk to you on QQ...
then Run Forest, run.
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Now just so you know, she don't have her own computer she is only able to use the agency computer & well they probably watchwhat goes on... idk, ill try your suggestion but i don't have much hope. i just hope that im not talking to a agency/translator, cause it will not end well for me, sad to say. & really i don't trust her agency, i trust her but not the agency.. is there any way they could be using her in any way? i dont know how to explain it, its just a feeling..
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Now just so you know, she don't have her own computer she is only able to use the agency computer & well they probably watchwhat goes on... idk, ill try your suggestion but i don't have much hope. i just hope that im not talking to a agency/translator, cause it will not end well for me, sad to say. & really i don't trust her agency, i trust her but not the agency.. is there any way they could be using her in any way? i dont know how to explain it, its just a feeling..
vincent,
It is very, very, very likely your lady has a contract with this agency. If she does they will control every aspect of your communication with her because they have money riding on this. If the ladies actually had your contact information they could easily bypass the agency so I really doubt this lady has your contact info. Just because you give your e-mail/contact info to the agency or include it in a letter doe not mean they will give it to her. Their job is to get you to China to meet her and hopefully marry. Most agencies charge a meeting or Introduction fee when you go to China to meet your lady and they charge a marriage fee which is usually the balance of her initial contract fee when you get married. To be perfectly honest the agencies are in the translation and matchmaking business, they normally do not allow the women to use or borrow their computers because they charge for letters or EMFs in both directions. I would think your lady knows someone other than the agency that has a computer, so it is most likely the agency translator handing you the line about not having a computer. Sadly, they have you by the short ones if you know what I mean! The only fool-proof method is to buy a ticket and go to China and meet this gal or continue paying EMFs to communicate. The agencies make money for EMFs and I doubt they will lose that profit by giving you unsupervised access to their client! If you are serious about this gal and you think she is serious about you, then get on a plane and go as soon as possible! The sooner the better, that way you will ease your own mind and also save a small fortune in EMFs fees. You can threaten the agency with refusing to continue communicating, personally I think the agencies could care less because their is no way for you to know if you are the only person writing her ( with or without her knowledge ) . What agency is she listed with, we have a thread here about member's experiences with various agencies throughout China, so check it out and see if any other members are or have used that agency before! Regards, Robertt
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Vincent I've noticed with Chinese women that where there is a will there is a way. I can guarantee that she know someone who has a computer who has a little cupid in her heart that she can use. When my wife's computer was down and a neighbor would let Peggy use hers when she was at work. Now her computer is working again.
Also almost every woman in China uses QQ even on their cell phone.
I hate to say it but personally I smell a rat and if I am right you will be met by nothing but stonewalling. They are banking on your naivety it that is the case. I hope I am wrong but those are my thoughts.
There are many sites where you can find women who are more than willing to talk to you. Robert Snellgrove has a very good one and he verifies everyone to be sure they are legit. There are many other sites. Most of us started with chnlove only to be burned by them. I found my wife on blossoms.com but even there you have to be careful.
Good Luck.
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Vincent,
If she does not have computer. (I have heard that one many times) chances are she has a friend or the friend of a friend that has a computer. If she cares anything at all about you she will make an effort to save you some dough and she will make every effort to see you on camera.
Look, this woman wants to be your future spouse. Her other half, her partner for life. Right? If that is the case then she would not do anything and everything possible to hasten your marital union. Right? If she is truly looking for a husband then NOTHING will stop her or slow her down. Except for maybe the agency she is working with.
Shake out the cobwebs and put your thinking cap on. Give it some real analytic thought. Ask yourself the hard questions about her, the relationship so far and why it is not progressing a quickly as a "real" relationship should. Answer the questions yourself and do not share them with her. Your post here is full of her excuses on how NOT to make a relationship succeed. She does not have a computer. It is not easyfor her to get your emails at the agency, telephone calls cost her money (More BS) Incoming phone calls are free. If she is working a scam or she is an agency she will have prepared answers ready for all occasions. All designed to put your mind at ease and make you feel like a POS for having the nerve to ask such a rude question. Follow your heart...BS use your head,
Sorry Vincent. You're being conned. I had those feelings. It cost me about $1000 before I could see what was going on. We are all naive the first few times out but we get a bit cynical after seeing how many games are being played. Unless you're extremely lucky you will not come out ahead.
I agree with everyone here. she is either freelance (doubt it) or working for an agency.
I second David's recommendation Run Forest Run! Or if you're evil like me.stay and do a little payback.. See how far she/they will go. Get them drooling over a large introduction fee and green card then pull the plug .
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As they say very few woman do not have access to a computer or do not know how to use one but these are usually over 45's.
Skype is free and it is available in China with no problem and you get Video as well.
Also just about every women in China has QQ so there is nor excuse for contact outside the agency. You have a her phone number.
So why not join up with skype. You can call any mobile in China at a very low rate and it includes cell phones - or you can also pay a quarterly amount and pay no more for calls.
Chnlove are looking at bottom line. Possible clients are hard to get for them these days so they will use every trick in the book to keep their hooks in you.
Willy
Zhongshan
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to answer robertt she is with Changsha Love Bridge Company ... this is my third time trying to be with an asian girl, i love asian women but i refuse to go through this a forth time if this doesn't work im done with dating & all women all together, id rather live my life alone then to keep getting my heart broken, & i told my girl about this & actually she did just try to push me away cause of all that has happened but i said no, its ether her or no one. & she really tried hard to make me leave her...
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Oh my god. The dreaded Changsha love bridge. Id say you could have made a better choice. Get away from her and the agency while you still have two nickles to rub together. Sounds like she feels sorry for you but not enough to come clean and do the right thing.
So Gosh! Why would you want to walk away now. After only 3 tries. It took me about 3 tries to get warmed up. Ther are other places to find brides other than these agencies. Robert has a website. There is Chineselovelinks, Chinalovematch, cherryblossom. All are monthly subscriptions. That means you can talk to as many ladies you want for NO FEE. There are all sorts of ladies there. some only seeking friendship, penpals,english lessons and just want a mans opinion about some other man they just met.
I am married but still keep my subscription. I trade advice about western men for advice about Cantonese women. It works out pretty well but occasionally I run into trouble with an unscrupulous gold digger. But I have got to the point that I can spot them a mile away. I have found a few good candidates for a wife for my son.
Hmm I am rambling so back to the point. Don't give up yet. If you really want an Asian wife then don't settle for less. Stick with it . Make your choice and go after her. Dont fall before your ready. Honestly protect your heart until you are ready.
Another word of advice. If you choose one of the websites I mentioned watch out for swindlers. There are quite a few. If she seems to "amazing" to be interested in you then she is probably a cobra ready to strike. Along with the pros there's the legitimate ladies that have"passed their prime" they are old and heavy and a bit homely (I'm trying to be polite) but their profile photo will either be an enhanced studio quality photo or a photo of them 20 years ago or maybe even their daughter. You cant blame them because the that is the only way they can compete with other younger women. Just look out for that little white lie.
Don't be discouraged. I was scammed 3 times at Chnlove before making the switch. After I got serious and went to China. My wife is the 8th woman I visited. I finally made my selection ( or it selected me). I am so glad I did not throw in the towel back then. If you do you will wonder about how it could have been.
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"Oh my god. The dreaded Changsha love bridge." My exact words reading it. Known as the worst scamming ripoffs.
This move to Chnlove doesn't make sense, if the reason was real. She doesn't have a computer? Can't afford it? So she goes to Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs? Doesn't make sense to me. Take the recommendations.
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"Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs"
when you say that does that mean the girls have to pay Chnlove or Chnlove pays the girls? sorry im a bit confused on that...
also she does want to quit Changsha Love Bridge Company but is afraid you know the usual thing, that i will forget her or find someone else.. i have told her what you all have told me cause im an honest person & i do like her don't want to loose her & i want to help her. what you all have been telling me has been very helpful. if she truly does care about me & wants to be with me she will quit that Company & go somewhere else, somewhere where we can still be together but will not make me have to spend a lot of money. i hope im doing the right thing...
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i know she is real cause i was able to See her when we were on Asian-Girls-Online ( i could see her but she couldn't see me, just the way that sight is setup) & iv talked to her & heard her voice ( i even called her while on the video/web cam) so i know she is 100% real.
What computer was she using when you two were using Asian-Girls-Online? Also try to think at what time were you talking with her for her China Time. If it was during regular China time business hours then maybe she was using the Changsha Bridge computer - but then this hints to more the Chansha Bridge fishing theory. If her time was late at night when you were talking with her, then what computer was she using.
Now the hard advice - 5 months for internet dating is not anything serious yet. Until you make a few trips over there and see her in person, all you have so far is wishfull thinking. Talk is cheap, unless you use the agency EMF letters which can cost money - the real test is making the trip. As Maxx has said many times, if you are not prepared to make a trip in 6 months, then the reality is that you are not prepared for a long distance, long term (because of the immigration waiting period) relationship.
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"Chnlove pays 3-6 thousand to use theirs"
IF she is going to an agency to use their computer she has a contract with them. This contract varies with the agency and package she bought, but yeah average is a few thou. And NO they don't pay her, unless she's an employee?
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As Maxx has said many times, if you are not prepared to make a trip in 6 months, then the reality is that you are not prepared for a long distance, long term (because of the immigration waiting period) relationship.
This is as True as it gets!
Second: I can't add much more to the info. others have already given here, but your Girl/Lady needs to get far away from Chnlove as she can and now. Doesn't matter even if she'd pay'd them a Fee to join (unless she is employed by them) to save you further Money later on, like the meeting/marriage Fee's. The money you'll save, you'll go and see her and buy her a PC and put all worries (well most of them for now- other's will follow later for sure) to rest, at least you now are on direct communication and free too.. excect the Internet Fees of course. Excuses are out the window or your relationship with her "IS"!
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thank you all this has been really helpful, hard but helpful. & i told her just what you said Arnold, she needs to get far away from Chnlove & Changsha Love Bridge Company as soon & fast as she can. i told her straight up honestly Chnlove is just too expensive & no good. i love her with all my heart but we need to do things differently. & also she has said to me that she wants to quit Changsha Love Bridge Company, i guess her boss is an ass or something lol, but she isn't sure what she wants to do.. if its meant to be it will happen & me & her will be together.i do know it will be a while before i can trust a dating sight or its lady's. i shared A Lot of myself with my girl... idk its not easy...
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This all seems kind of surreal to me so let me sum it up with bullet points.
1. Chnlove - bad news almost all the way round. Get away from it.
2. Changsha Love Bridge Co. - Quite possibly the biggest crooks on the internet when it come to finding a Chinese wife. Avoid like the black plague.
3. It ALWAYS cost the woman money to use a company like this.
4. It will cost you money in translations fees X2. You write a letter; you pay. She writes a letter; you pay.
5. When writing a letter chances of her reading and replying to the letter are slim to none. Most often it is the translater doing the writing.
6. Take a trip to see her with six months, just for your own sanity. You need to find out if she is real or not.
7. Finally it took many of us on this site more that 5 times to find a keeper. If this one isn't it we can help you set a strategy to find one. (Few have found them on their first try.)
8. Web Chat; Web Chat; Web Chat; Web Chat: Web Chat
Finally, if she keeps heading you off at the pass then there is a reason and it isn't a good one.
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I would like to know the age of you both. That will have a bearing on what is said and done. So let us know your age and her age.
Our advice here is usually get of Chnlove agency as soon as possible. In the case of Changsha Love Bridge agency it is normally do not even go there. It is the one agency that has systematically created the worst name of any on Chnlove.
This agency knows your feelings towards the women that you have never met and will play you now for every dollar they can get out of you. That is why we regularly advise men to get here as soon as they are able and meet the women they are talking with otherwise the more shrewd, conniving agencies will bleed you dry and you end up with nothing. This is not a journey to start with no money in your pocket. Do not forget also that if she has signed up with Changsha Love Bridge Agency then they are going to want money for the initial introduction and if she has no money that could mean you dipping into your pocket. Then if you get together they will want the fee for a successful union and their request could run into many thousand US Dollars. Do you realize how these agencies operate and the terms the women sign up for. They are told, and I know this for sure, that they must not worry about the high fees quoted in their contract as the man will pay it!
Believe me when I say that you are not in love with the women that you have been talking to. You are in love with the thought of being in love with a
beautiful Chinese woman.
Where does this woman live compared to the location of the agency. Changsha is a big city and as other say there is no reason for her to not to have access to other computers. How did you speak before she joined chnlove? WHY after meeting you in another place would she then go and pay 3000 rmb to join and commit herself to paying between 30,000 - 50,000 rmb to them for a successful match when she HAS ALREADY MADE THAT INITIAL MATCH.
The agencies are doing so badly these days due to bad publicity and financial problems in the West that they have to go to any length to pay their bills including the huge cost they are committed to paying Chnlove each year.
I think you need to sit back and think about everything that has happened in the past 5 months and then consider whether to take our advice or not.
A someone who has lived in China with my wife for more that 3 years I say the time is right to cut and run on this one otherwise you face a much bigger hurt in the months to come.
Willy
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im 27 she is 25.
and actually me and her just had a big fight (at least big to me) about all of this. i could have left & i did think of it but then i had the biggest pain in my chest, i cant let her go, but i think we both agree to just email each other for now. i do have her bank info & she only needs $300. the reasion she went to chnlove is cause of me, we had a miscommunication on asian girls online, i was trying to be a good man & offered to buy her a new computer in china off the internet figureing that laptops would be cheaper there, i was wrong VERY wrong they are the same as here if not more. anyways i told her this & she said i could just send her the money & she would get it. asian girls online seen this & thought she was asking for money, they fined her $100, or actually her company & the company fined her. that upset her & i would be & was too. so we went to chnlove. im not sure where where the co is but she lives City: Changsha
Address: ,Xin You Ke Fang ,Xiao Gu Dao Lane,Chengnan Road,Tianxin District,Changsha,Hunan
i tryed to look it up on google map but it would only find Chengnan Road,Tianxin District,Changsha,Hunan
i got her info from asian girls online
also willy you said you lived in china for 3 years, what was it like? did you have to learn Chinese? im thinking of moving there myself but im worried about what kind of work i would do i work for landscaping right now as a lawn mower, but im concerned about what kind of work i would be able to do there in china... any ideas or advice in that area?
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Unless you have a teaching degree or a teaching diplomas then there is little you can do here. Most foreigners here are teaching. You cannot arrive here then apply for a work visa - you have to apply for that before you get here and without any qualifications you will not get one.
Plus it seems that the job you have does not pay too much. In which case you will find trying to marry a Chinese woman here will be very difficult. Basic living is cheap but when the women find a foreign man then basic living is not what they want. They have that already. Forget Love. When it comes to the financial resources of a man that is number one consideration for Chinese women.
The scammers will settle at first for what they think they can get. To me any request for money is a BIG RED FLAG. Never send money for any reason before you have been here, seen her and then decided what you want to do next. That request will get them all boiling over on this forum. You should put the money for a computer towards an air flight here. To be blunt if you cannot afford an air fare immediately then forget the idea of continuing your quest here. You will get burned and you could end up seriously burned.
China may be a cheap country for basis living. But a foreigner taking a Chinese wife has to look towards having several thousands dollars available for just the basics. To get a Chinese wife to your country is going to need a good regular income and many thousands more.
You say that you do not earn much money - well forget China - they are not interested in getting a poor man - they want reliabilty and an improved standard of living. There has been men on this forum whose wife's have said goodbye when they have taken a down turn in salary.
Sorry to be so blunt but I think others will echo that the time may not be right for you to start looking in China.
Willy
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Vincent, Willy is being very kind in his reply. I think your in dreamland somewhere and need an awaking. So please don't take this as insulting you. First you need to educate yourself on the subject of marrying a foreigner. This isn't the movies and it's not as easy as the common theory others tell you. You WILL NOT just marry her and bring her to the US. It's a long process that takes about a year and takes your year income (judging by what you do). Then there is also sending money to support the parents after your married.
If your determined to proceed? There is much reading here in this forum you can learn from. What is best are trips to China just for a start. This is a process the US government will look at when it's time for her Visa after marriage.
One more thing... NEVER SEND MONEY. You are being scammed
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aside from "being a scam or her scamming me" i feel like im being told to give up. ill never be a teacher & to earn several thousands dollars would take quite a few years.... i dont know what else to say, i guess i should have broke up with her last night when we had our fight, a heck of a way to end a relationship tho. ill be honest i dont like the girls here in the U.S. american girls, most have too much baggage & really most really arent that attractive. im tired of being alone, iv spent most of my life that way. i guess i got 3 choices break up with my girl & be alone, take a chance with her & keep going & prob get burned & still end up alone, or settle for some dumb bimbo here in the U.S. & that i will never love. i dont know why im even continuing this conversation.. i appreciate the help you all have giving me now i just got to do some deep thinking...
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Vincent spending some time thinking about this is a good idea.
I know we've been negative and haven't given you much hope but you need to think things through. Maybe now would be a good time to get trained in something that is more marketable. Personally I have more than one stream of income. With today's market place sinking all of your eggs into one basket seems to limit your income. Consider things like ebay, half.com, flea markets just to name a few. You have options that you do not realize. I have a job, sell on ebay and half.com and sell in a flea market. It has taken a while but I am beginning to hit my stride in the flea market.
If you really think you have found the girl for you then you need to reach beyond yourself and go for it. All we are saying to you is that all of the indications look like a scam. But really if a Chinese woman is where you are at then you need to understand what it takes to get one and keep her. The lack of money isn't it. Unfortunately love and financial stability run hand in hand with a Chinese woman; for that matter you could say with a woman. American, Italian, Russian, French, Korean or any nationality it doesn't matter a woman looks for stability and the largest anchor in that is money.
Think about everything but the bottom line is you need to step up to the plate and hit a home run financially and it is within your grasp. Hell deliver pizza if that is what it takes.
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Vincent, remember.. we're not here to make or tell anybody to Quit! We tell it like it is before you get hurt more (that goes both ways) or get too deep into it emotionally and into your Pocketbook. I certainly hate to see anybody fail on their dream, but reality can really bite you in the A**.. you know what I mean. I myself, to give you an idea how much this cost me and not adding what my Wife payed the Agency.. about $25,000 overall. That was just for her and add more for her Son. It is definitely NOT cheap by any means. This is why we say, unless you have the Bucks to back up your dream.. don't even go there.
I was in the same shoes as you.. was done with western Woman in many reasons.. you mentioned some of them. But, beside having the Money.. you need also some luck with the Immigration where you'd be pulling many hairs before that is over.
Anyway, weigh your options and proceed wisely and make it easy on both of you.
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aside from "being a scam or her scamming me" i feel like im being told to give up. ill never be a teacher & to earn several thousands dollars would take quite a few years.... i dont know what else to say,
No one has said to give up, we just told it as it is. Have you even discused with her you planning on going over for a visit? Without a date set on a possible visit, how can you see how much to budget from your paycheck to afford a trip. Are you saying that it will take a few years to just save enough for a visit? Without even having to worry about if you are being scammed, First you have to check your own situation. If it will be years before you go, would not her friends caution her that maybe you are not being serious? Only through action can you prove to her & you can find out yourself if there could be a future.
If you can not afford the trip, then all you have is a pen pal. Do you drive a car? I wish I could drive an expensive car, but even if I could afford the car, then meeting the insurance premiums would kill me. Thinking of marrying a girl from China is no different, the cost is high, the insurance premiums steep. I drive a Honda Civic, but at least I married my girl. It took 8 trips and 30 months waiting for her visa.Yes the cost is high, and not always is the ride smooth.
... talking to her just on weekends for only a few hours just isn't enough for me or her. .. i just dont know what to do ...
From you first post I have quoted the gest of it. You have to go!
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YES i have been talking to her about all of this the whole time i have been on here asking questions. in fact that was what the fight with her was about last night, she knows the position im in on money & my concerns. she got very offended thinking i thought that she was after just my money, & who wouldnt i know i would. i told her from the start no matter what i would always be honest with her no matter what & i have been from the start, iv always thought how is a relationship to work if you cant be honest.. i did ask her if it took a few years to see her & all that other stuff if would still wait & she said yes. all i can do is have a little faith that she is being honest as well, im going to trust her till i have 100% proof not to. i know the money wire isnt the best idea but if it really is my fault that she got fined & her phone bill cost $100, should i not man up & send her that money & not leave her to have to pay it all? isn't that part of being a good honest & caring man about? if she is willing to wait for me ill be there for her till the end, at least that sounds right to me.
i did learn one thing last night when fighting with her, that is some scary stuff, i would have preferred to fight an angry dinosaur than to have gone throe that. was the scariest thing iv ever gone throe
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I still do not understand how Asian-Girls-Online could even fine your girl. Below is copied from their website:
Any confirmed unethical behavior will result in that profile being deleted from our database. We strive to protect our members from any form of scams, fraud or deception.
I see that they have a statement that they themself can only be accountable for 100 dollars:
If we are deemed liable to you by a competent court, our maximum possible liability to you for any reason shall not exceed $100.
So how can a company located in Cyprus charge her for a 100 dollar fine without taking her to court? At most I see that they would have deleted her profile. And how would they have known of the discretion? Are they reading your guy's personel emails?
I would recomend saving the one hundred dollars to put forward to an airplane ticket.
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Vincent,
If you have the money, just go! It is the 'shoulder' season of travel, the cheapest time of year. You have a passport? Get the China visa, I think $140.00 through the consulate in San Francisco if I am not mistaken.
I've been to China a bunch of times. I feel comfortable in that I go for less than $2k including airfare. It won't bust you if you stay in a typical Chinese 3star hotel. Food is cheap. Visiting is cheap. In- country travel by train is cheap. Everything is cheap by our Western standards. The thing is, you are young & inexperienced. Everyone here means well, but you may feel intimidated, but do not give up! You are young and you can make a lot of mistakes. When you are older, mistakes are like more costly in time & money, and sanity.
At least you will see for yourself another part of the world. A place of beauty and outstandingly beautiful women. They do exist.
Then you can formulate your own game plan & see what you need to do to be successful in your adventures.
Good luck to you!
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Vincent I think that you have already made up your mind what you are going to do but I have a few questions.
1) By what method are you going to wire her the money? Not Western Union I hope.
2) Does she speak good English or do you need translators?
3) What job does she do as she appears to be well educated?
4) What do your really know about her?
Willy
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why whats wrong with western union????
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Way to expensive
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Vincent, it may not be her making these things up? It may be the translator? And sorry for awakening you but I just had to. You seem like a nice guy trying to make his way through. I/we are just letting you know before you hit the wall. I don't know your situation, education, or where your headed in life but no matter you need to get yourself in a better position then cutting lawns. This should be your 1st priority.
Now her phone bill isn't due to you calling her. Doesn't happen that way no matter what country. If she called you? that's a different story.
You wrote you had 3 choices well here's a 4th. Maybe find a asian woman right here in the states? Beats spending hard earned money for no reason.
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1. I've found the address is exist. Seems it is four floors rental apartment. According the information from the internet, the rental fee of one room is around $100 per month.
2. Most chinese young people chat online by their cellphones in the big cities. Generally it is free to answer the phone.
3. People can find internet cafes anywhere in the cities in China. The internet cafe opens 24/7 and the charge is very low, around 25 cent (￥1.5) per hour. They do have camera,headset and microphone.
4.Don't send money to someone who you have never met in person.
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why whats wrong with western union????
Its the scammer's preferred method. They can hide who collects what and when. Plus they charge too much. You can make a direct international transfer to her bank.
Also listen to Sunny. There is good information there from her.
Send the money and you will be paying the rent for three or four months. On the bleak side she only has to find four like you who will send her small amounts and her rent is paid for a year!
Willy
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Vincent. My advice to you is to beg, borrow (not steal, ha ha!) enough money to go to Changsha. You obviously have the China bug. How do I know? I had it too. You think you are talking to a woman. You are talking to a translator (i.e. a very good actress) from the Changsha Love Bridge Agency. How do I know? I did it too.
Now I am happily married to a beautiful woman, living in China, with our first baby due in December.
The only way I could do this is to go to Changsha, get burned, find another agency, find a real woman, spend real time with her, and stick two fingers up at any agency who wants to screw another Westerner.
It's an empty feeling getting burned at home. You feel like giving up before you've ever really experienced anything. But getting burned in China only makes you stronger. Once you pick yourself up off the floor, you realize that, hey, you actually did it, you got on a plane to come all this way. This is an adventure. They didn't beat you.
But, and its a big but, if you can't fly, don't try. Put this idea on hold until you can afford it.
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Vincent , firstly welcome to this forum , having been to Changsha , it is a great city and very well set up Internet lounges are everywhere so there was no need for joining the 2nd site , I would say more than likely she was already a member on there , check out via our search facility on here for " China Love Bridge Agency" if you haven't already, there were also some photos of inside the agency which I have not located , but generally it is a room with about 40 girls at computer desks fleecing gullible men .
Changsha is a very modern city of world standard with over 10 million people so the girls / ladies are very switched on , remember that a Chinese lady's brain moves at least 3 times faster than yours , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Want to play a little game? Make up another ID and a new story about your failed marriage or cheating girlfriend or you just want to come to China for fun and games. They (the translator) will be very quick to console you when she detects a bleeding broken heart. Play with her from the different IDs and see if you can catch her in a lie. I call this my Bull Shit detector. I have done this quite a few times and if the lady is less than a lady then you will find it out a lot quicker and less money than the twice a day translation fee.
These tactics are a little less than honorable but if you find a real lady they you are way ahead of the hit and miss approach.
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Vincent I have ben following along for the last few days.The advice the members have ben giving you is right on.I'm afraid your lady is a translator working for a agency.And it looks like they sunk the hook pretty deep.
My advice to you is just get on a plane and go to China.Prove to yourself that we are either right or wrong.If we are right.I'm real sorry to here that.We always hope we are wrong about these things.But we hardly are ever wrong.When you find out we are right.Go stand on a street corner.With a map in your hand.And look a little confused.The woman of your dream will be along in a minute.If not her beautiful friend will be along in a few minutes.And she will introduce you to the woman of your dreams.
I can't count the number of times I've had beautiful Chinese girls just walk up to me on the street and start talking to me.If it works for me it should work for you.We have had other members who have had this happen to them.Where the girl wasn't real or the girl wasn't interested.( 9 out of 10 times.The guy meets another woman.And they run off into the sunset together.
If you really want to do this.Make the effort just go.If you win or loose.It is a helluva journey.With a steep learning curve.We will be here to help you when times get tough.So no worries buy the plane ticket find out if the girl is real..
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I think you summed everything up nicely Maxx.
Willy
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idk, i feel id have to disagree with you Pineau for two reasons first & i thought about doing this but making another profile, how would this make me any better than the "translator"? & two if she isn't a translator i then have to tell my girl iv been dishonest to her which would leave a good chance i would loose her & i did tell my girl no matter what i would be honest with her. i mean isn't that part of a good relationship is to be honest.
i do want to prove who she is but i know i cant go to china right now, i just want to do this in the least dishonest/painful way for both me & my girl. iv shared A LOT of & about myself with this girl stuff i wouldn't dream of sharing with anyone other than the person i plain to spend the rest of my life with. it would be hard for me to take your advice & go to another girl. how could i trust anyone to move on To anyone else?. it would be something that would stick with me for a long time if not for the rest of my life..
also i wanted to ask willy since i guess you still live in china, there was some stuff i wanted to ask you but not on here if that's ok... somewhere more private.
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OK, time for me to chime in. Is it me, or does this all seem unusual? If you want advice that is solid advice, go back and read every reply that you have received here. Everyone has given you solid information. Sunny made some good points, and she is someone who knows China...she is not just guessing. The others have all given you good advice.
This story is all pointing to the same thing...translators.
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Vincent,
I can see that you are struggling with the idea that all women are not virtuous and that the evil Chinese agencies are not playing fair.
You also don't want to admit to yourself that maybe you have misjudged this lady. That's okay. I fell on my face a few times before I began to understand life is not a romantic fairy-tale. . Hold on to your notions but don't be so naive as to think that playing fair will somehow triumph over evil agencies and translators.
You are in this to win. Your Adversary is also in it to win and has no scruples what so ever. This is not a free service this is their business. Remember these people are professionals and expert on getting your last dime. This is how they feed their families and they are damned good at it.
As far as my idea. If she turns out to be real then just quietly kill off the other ID and forget it existed. A Little white lie could save you a lot of heart ache. It was just an idea. Get creative and think of one that suits your conscience. Just remember fight evil with evil and don't put yourself at a disadvantage.
You asked for advice and information. From what I see you got 3 full pages of the best information available anywhere.
Vincent, I don't want to be demeaning in an way, although I come across as cynical sometimes. I got into this with exactly the same mindset as you..EXACTLY. It took me several times at getting burned before I started to get wise to the ways of the "Chinese dating game". You need to listen to the advice you see here or you are going to repeat the mistakes we have made.
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i just need that 100% physical proof that she is a scam artist, i don't want to go years down the road thinking WHAT IF. i dont want any regrets in ending it. i was wanting to do this in private just with willy since he lives in china but the heck with it i was wanting to know how close to Changsha,Hunan,China he is, i want him or someone to find her for me & give me that physical proof that i need. id do it myself but i dont think $400 in my checking account is going to get me there, pff i dont think that would even get me to Florida. i already the same as put the stop to giving her money, at least until i am able to see her in person. i dont know if anyone understands how hard it is/would be for me to end my relationship with her even if its only been 5 months. i know im probably making some of you frustrated & i apologize for so. i just like i said i don't want any regrets, i already have enough regrets as it is in my life i dont need another,ok..
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First of all, Willy lives about 500 miles away.
You don't need 100 proof about if she is or is not a scam artist. The truth as you put it, is that you are right now not ready for this. I understand how easy it is to get hooked and how the stomach gets tied into knots. Life will always be filled with regrets and what ifs. It's how you handle them and learn from them. If this relationship ends, then it should just make you better prepared for the next one. If it continues, then maybe a stepback and just be penpals. If she is scamming, then she will depart. But if she is real, then a partial writing will keep her there. But of course this also depends on her English. Did you guys require the use of a translator or is her English good enough?
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thank you & sorry for being a pain & apologise if i offended anyone. as much as i don't like it ill more than likely take Pineau advice & make another profile, if she is the real deal she will not pay attention to the second profile. i know im not ready to go to china but i do know i am ready for a relationship with a girl & i know i like asian girls more than american girls. its just too bad i cant find any good asian girls here in Topeka Kansas where i live... i shall take my leave now, wish me luck. ty & bye
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i dont know if anyone understands how hard it is/would be for me to end my relationship with her even if its only been 5 months. i know im probably making some of you frustrated & i apologize for so. i just like i said i don't want any regrets, i already have enough regrets as it is in my life i dont need another,ok..
Vincent, I for one knows how you must feel. I too, after five month (even less time) was ready to marry that Woman on the other end.. before ever having met face to face. It feels awesome, as you get to know more and more about each-other.. I also think one CAN fall in love through letters/phone calls/webcams. Heck, I know because both I and my now Wife did. It is not common though, for it all go down that easy.. sadly to say. I/were was ready to marry on my first trip and we did. There was just nothing going to stops us. BUT... you have to be "Ready" to go sooner rather then later. I also know, $400 keeps you writing for some time ( either for the good or not so good), but it does not get's you two together and you know it too.
I been here with this Forum ( including Facebook) for some three years now and I see most that have had luck and are with their Wife now, are mostly in the second half of their Life's.. with enough resources to keep this wonderful dream/advanture alive. Let me tell you, for me and many other's.. it is worth every Penny spend.. for the return on gets with these Lady's (have to find the right one first of course). You being 27 and not financially secure yet, will only hold you back and she will slowly put a wall between you the longer it takes. She's 25 and that tell me, she's somewhat more "Westernized" than a Woman in her fortys+.. that is more willing to wait to meet. You've done the first step only (contact), now think of whats next real well.. see if it now reality for "You" or is it only/just a "Dream" that you have?
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also i wanted to ask willy since i guess you still live in china, there was some stuff i wanted to ask you but not on here if that's ok... somewhere more private.
No Problem Vincent. Just send me a PM my forum name is of course Willy the Londonder.
Willy