China Romance
All About China => Understanding Chinese Women => Topic started by: China Shark on April 13, 2009, 12:23:55 am
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I had to answer this one because I have been back on the poverbial market and met this incredibly intelligent women who I think might be perfect for me. Problem is she is 23 and I'm 46. My bottom age has been 27 yet I feel a real closeness with her. She is wise beyond her years and totally fluent. I did not find out her age until an hour speaking to her at Starbucks. I'm confused as what I should do. Hell, I'm great for giving advice yet can never follow my advice. Guess you could say I'm too smart for my own good. I already set up a second date to go ice skating with her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. Sure my family will be more than overjoyed with this new turn of events. Whatever happens at least I can say I made an attempt. In my eyes guys are a minimum of 10 years younger than thier actual age so I can justify being with a much younger woman. Another thing she is smoking hot so I'm not dilluding myself into believing it is purely an emotional. Woman my age are boring as hell, east or west. I love roller coasters, mountain biking, mountain climbing and things that require a woman with a lot of stamina. If she is the one I guess I'll have to change my old thinking. If two people are right for one another they should disreguard age as long as they can relate with one another. Funny how women inadvertly make us comprimise without even consciously doing it. Who are we kidding they own us lock stock and barrel.
China Shark Mike :mrgreen:
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Thanks for your input Michael and good luck with the lady. You are probably right, we are just fooling ourselves by having rules of age. :roll:
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As some might have read in my blog, things with the lady aren't going as expected. Therefore I opened my profile again.
Admire's letters will come ^_^. I thought a lot about the age. Sometimes there are very young women writing and I usually would sort them out because of their age. I am 46 years and consider ladies below 36 years as very young :mrgreen: But sometimes I see young girls with "older" guys and it seems to work out just great.
Maybe it is just a culture thing or the way we are brought up. I will think twice before I would get involved with a lady below 36 years of age. But when it feels right, I will go for it I think. I know two couples where the women is quite younger then the man. It works fine for them.
It seems to me that Chinese women don't pay that much attention to the difference of age, do they?
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Michael
Don't shoot a good relationship in the head just because the woman is younger than you. If she is someone that you would have
gotten involved with if you added 10 years to her age then just ignore the age difference. If you like each other then the age
should not matter.
If your just starting to look, I would agree with Hajo and look closer to your own age. I set a lower limit of 15 years. I would have gone 10 years
but I am still thinking about having a kid. I turn 48 in May so I may not get the chance to ever have a child of my own.
However if I met someone that I really liked and she was younger than my normal limit, I definately would not throw the baby out with the bath
water. True love is rare, and sometimes it is unexpected when it happens.
Glad to hear that you may have met someone really nice Michael! :D
Big Dave
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I had to answer this one because I have been back on the poverbial market and met this incredibly intelligent women who I think might be perfect for me. Problem is she is 23 and I'm 46. My bottom age has been 27 yet I feel a real closeness with her. She is wise beyond her years and totally fluent. I did not find out her age until an hour speaking to her at Starbucks. I'm confused as what I should do. Hell, I'm great for giving advice yet can never follow my advice. Guess you could say I'm too smart for my own good. I already set up a second date to go ice skating with her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. Sure my family will be more than overjoyed with this new turn of events. Whatever happens at least I can say I made an attempt. In my eyes guys are a minimum of 10 years younger than thier actual age so I can justify being with a much younger woman. Another thing she is smoking hot so I'm not dilluding myself into believing it is purely an emotional. Woman my age are boring as hell, east or west. I love roller coasters, mountain biking, mountain climbing and things that require a woman with a lot of stamina. If she is the one I guess I'll have to change my old thinking. If two people are right for one another they should disreguard age as long as they can relate with one another. Funny how women inadvertly make us comprimise without even consciously doing it. Who are we kidding they own us lock stock and barrel.
China Shark Mike :mrgreen:
Hey China Shark:
I'm even more into the danger zone: shes 40,I'm >60. However, having lived a little longer, I'm more interested in deep communication than physical passion - the latter comes later :-). The upshot is that Air NZ have just posted airfares to AKL - HKG for $880 NZ, so I'm Shenzhen bound in June. Would'nt mind meeting for a coffee and a chat on the above topic once I'm there, and if you have the time and inclination.
All the best with your 'challenge' meanwhile..... David K from the bottom of the planet
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Angel and I have had this conversation a couple of times. I am 58 and she is 41. Chinese women do not look at the age of a man the same way we do. They are raised to adapt to the man, not the other way around. Plus they feel than an older man can give them the comfort and consideration that a younger man may not. Plus it is perfectly acceptable for an older man to marry a much younger woman. Why do you think that there are so many over 30 divorcees who are desperately looking for a husband. Because once over 30 the odds of her marrying drop significantly and over 40 is almost none. I had a lot of younger women in their early 30's chatting with me. I would not consider them seriously. My daughter said I could not have anyone younger than she is. lol She couldnt see herself calling a younger woman, Mom. I think in their 40's is totally acceptable. Plus at that age they are mature enough to know themselves and what they can and can not live with. That and one more caveat. True love sees no age, race, religion or continent. She and I have that so age is of no consequence except in the abstract. The only comment ever made was that she wished we were both younger so she could have my baby. I shot that one down fast let me tell you. I have already raised my kids plus I am taking on a 16 year old. I just can not see me at 70 coaching t ball.
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This 'age' thing is a fascinating subject , I'd like to share with you guys part of a couple of conversations i had in early April with my girl Ning (She is 35 and I am 39)
NING ''Thank you very much for your fast reply, I am really very happy to hear from you again. Thanks for your kind words, at first I just wonder whether I should write to you or not, as you are so young, I think a man in your age should like to find a lady around 25 years old or so. And I am surprise that you still wish to write to me, thank you''
MARK ''Thankyou for your message with the lovely photos attached , you are very modest about your beauty , it is interesting to hear you say i am so young to be interested in a lady your age , I am 39 this month :s , hee hee , i have read that chinese men often leave their wifes for younger women , especially after having a child as Chinese law states a family is only allowed one child , in the UK , whilst it is true many men 'chase' younger women it is also true that most couples are close in age , of course there are many exceptions as in all things. ''
NING '' I know that you are 39, and to be honest, I write to men who’s over 45, and later they told me that they want a younger lady around 25 years old or so, that is why I ask you whether you are too young to me. I would be very happy if you don’t care about age, I think that is just a number, I just want to make sure you want to know a lady in my age. Hehe. ''
NING ''I think may be when you write to me again, you can send me some of your photos? I think to a man, 40 is just a age for him to begin his life, but to a woman, may be that is different. Hehe.''
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That's awesome Mark . Think how happy you'll make her , after having found such " YOUNG " Man like you ? You both are lucky to have found each other and think , you will have many more year's as a Couple , compared to some older Men . Like myself , being 56 and my Wife 41 , i'll give myself a good twenty year's ... I hope ?
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heheh Ya i do feel lucky Arnold , But you already have your girl ! well done and all the best for now and the future to you and your wife
. Heheh be generous give yourself 30 years not 20 :D
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Thanks Mark , let's say 25 . I don't want to push it ! Hope the Man above is listening to my request ? I don't mean Martin !!!!
Your now on the same road to happiness , go slow and watch for the exit's to nowhere . Good luck my Friend .
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This is the way I look at it. There is physical age and than mental age.
What I mean by that is. A woman can be 36 years old and acts like she is 21 again and then there could be a 21 year old that carries herself like she is 36.
It is a how she acts and carries herself is that what matters. I would rather be with the 21 year old than the 36 year old mentioned above. I am not 21 (not saying those were not good times) I am 36 and act like it. I want a woman that is compatible of where I am at in my life and not wanting to go out and party all the time.
I hope I explained myself good enough to get my point across.
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I think that you are right CJ... It is more a question of how mature you are than you physical age..
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Just a week ago I received an admirer letter from a lady in her early twenties; I was really surprised as I'm 58. Just to hints:
1.- From her profile:
I am looking forward to the beautiful western world and travelling around the world.
I am eager to live beside the blue ocean, walk on the beach to enjoy the comfortable life.
2.- She sent me a gorgeous photo in which she's sloped putting some flowers on a place I can't see but according the way she's dressed and the background I'd swear is a grave!!!
Somebody think I should answer her? :icon_cheesygrin:
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Look and think about what she says. She is not talking about love, she is talking about a traveling companion.
how about a 46 year old cute pediatrician in Wuhan? Just asking, my wife's best friend. lol
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Sarge, now you know why your wife brought up the subject of having a child, she want to be able to go back to China when its due so that her friend can assist in delivering it...........lol.........j/k
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I must second that what Scott said . Too big of a age gap and the chances are like ... near if not zero , for her to get a Visa . Besides , they looking for a Husband , not a Daddy . Myself , I would have not gone over the 15 year's difference .
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I third that too ..haha!! Except, that when i was in the market so to speak, my absolute tops was 15 yrs, and i wasn't really sure, if i would of gone that far... As it went, it actually came down to 9 years difference.
So as far i was conserned it couldn't of been better....
I think the further you go away from a 10 year difference the less likely your going to have things in common with each other. That's not to say that a 20+ year gap can't be accommodated successfully between both of you, just less likely. The other thing that i always considered, was that i didn't want a young future wife to end up being a carer for an old man in future years. That would just not be fair on her, in my book!! Got to be better for both of you to grow old gracefully together....
David...
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David,
I agree, I set my limit at 20 years at first but was talking with a woman locally about music and bands. I mentioned Buffalo Spingfield. She said, what is that? They were a band, you know, Crosby, Stills, and Nash. She said, "Yea, I read about them in my history book." I change my age limit to 12 years. Pinky is 7 years younger and I am happy with that.
Shaun
Oh, yea, by the way, she told me she read about Woodstock in her history book too. I didn't want to spend all of my time talking about the Jonas Brothers. Side note: the Jonas brothers father and I had a band together years ago. And I can't even get backstage tickets. Man, I miss out on everything.
Shaun X2
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Mike,
Ask Pinky, ....she'll have read about them in her history book!! hahaha!!
Me, .... i'm like you, haven't got a clue!! ..lol!!
David....
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Mike and David,
Me thinks you pull my leg either that or you do not have a daughter for David great great grandaughter :icon_cheesygrin: between the ages of 8 and 15.
They are the hottest treo with pre-teen and young teen girls. They have made a movie and will have their own TV show next fall I hear. The attached picture is the boys. The one on the left Kevin (Jr.) and my youngest daughter were a hot item in the first grade (as hot as conservative parents would allow) and friends for several years until we lost contact with the family due to travel and popularity.
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I notice that when anyone on here mentions age gap they are always refering to the lady being younger than them. Has any man on this forum ever matched up with a someone older than themself?
I dont think that it will not concern me as I doubt if there are many ladies older than me on Chnlove!!!
Willy
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I notice that when anyone on here mentions age gap they are always refering to the lady being younger than them. Has any man on this forum ever matched up with a someone older than themself?
I dont think that it will not concern me as I doubt if there are many ladies older than me on Chnlove!!!
Willy
As a matter of fact, YES. My wife is 2 and a half years older then I am. :icon_biggrin:
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That's one Man , to dare to go the other way :icon_arrow: .
If you love the Person for who she is , what does age matter ? Good for you Bob . I bet you are just as happy as many of us here .
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Thats good on you Bob. I am sure that it is working out well for you.
I have done a quick check and can only find 2 ladies older than me listed for Guangdong province so it looks like i will have to stick with those much younger than me.
Willy
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Shaun,
That's cheating mate, one second your talking about older artists and woodstock, the next your talking about a brand new act... not fair cause we don't have 15 yr old daughters ramming this music down our ears!! hahaha!!
Arnold,
Think were only talking about one of the ways cause that's gonna be the most prominant, the other way is just as important, but it tends to always be a much shorter age difference. I would imagine there are very few, if any here that would entertain a lady 10, 15, 20 years older than themselves, in fact most Chinese ladies, wouldn't be happy about that either. If you notice they ''Always'' want a man older than themselves!!
Willy,
You just carry on as your doing now mate, show these women that there's life in these older men, more in fact, than they were probably used to in there previous relationships.... It's just that Viagra supply i'm worried about!! ...hahaha!!
David.....
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Shaun,
That's cheating mate, one second your talking about older artists and woodstock, the next your talking about a brand new act... not fair cause we don't have 15 yr old daughters ramming this music down our ears!! hahaha!!
David,
You may have not noticed since you do not have a 15 yr old anymore but the kids today have this little device called an Ipod. It is by far one of the greatest inventions made to save parents from useless noise. The kids plug one end of these things called ear buds into the Ipod and the other end into their ears. So, the saving grace here is that they are ramming the music down their own ears rather than mine. :icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun
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Shaun.
I know all about ipods, i also know you can plug them into 500w rms Hi Fi units too.... We have such a teenager at the far end of my Street!! ....And boy, am i glad about that! ....any nearer and he would be a dead teenager!! ...hahaha!!
David.....
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Shaun.
I know all about ipods, i also know you can plug them into 500w rms Hi Fi units too.... We have such a teenager at the far end of my Street!! ....And boy, am i glad about that! ....any nearer and he would be a dead teenager!! ...hahaha!!
David.....
David,
I figured you did. I was trying to be funny. I even like mine.
Shaun
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how beautiful ..... she is well versed in placing flowers on a grave ....
think she will do that every month for you after your gone????
is there a meaning in that picture ???? LOL
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Well, the photo dedication said: "Here are some fresh flowers for you, hope you'll like them". Nice to see the flowers before I'm gone! :icon_biggrin:
Look and think about what she says. She is not talking about love, she is talking about a traveling companion.
Ah, I see. I'm going to send her profile to a friend who is a tourist guide!
how about a 46 year old cute pediatrician in Wuhan? Just asking, my wife's best friend. lol
Thanks a lot for the offer, but I'm now exchanging letters with 2 ladies in Shenzhen. Tell her I said you're also her best friend :icon_cheesygrin:
Manuel,
If you have lots of money and are just looking for a fling, go for it. If you are looking for a lifetime partner, my opinion is that the lady may lead you on at the beginning, but it is more just having fun and a game to her, and she doesn't look at it like you do. She's probably not a scam, but just isn't grown up yet either.
Also, after talking to an immigration lawyer in the U.S., it would be very unlikely that you would get approval from the embassy. They can turn you down, for an age situation just like this one.
Take my opinion for what you think it's worth...
Scott
No, I don't have a lot of money so I can't be a sugar daddy! :@
In fact my question was rethoric as I've already answered with the option "I am afraid that the lady is not suitable for me". I received another admiration letter from a beatiful 31 years old lady from Zhuhai, my preferred city, and I didn't write to her even when she seemed much more mature. But 27 years are too much!
I must second that what Scott said . Too big of a age gap and the chances are like ... near if not zero , for her to get a Visa . Besides , they looking for a Husband , not a Daddy . Myself , I would have not gone over the 15 year's difference .
That's precisely my "theoric" limit, 15 years
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Thanks Willy and Arnold, Yes, my wife and I are truly happy and deeply in love with each other, I can honestly say that I have never before had such feelings for a women and feel the love in my heart as I do for my wife.:heart:
As I have stated my wife is 2.5 years older then I. When I started with ChnLove I was looking for someone in my age group, (my personal choice) no more then 5 years difference !
In MY personal view point, I do not think that couples that have about 10-12 years or more in age will have a long term successful marriage, these types of marriage seem to often fail in the long run. (unless the guy is wealthy, then you have a women that loves the money more then she loves you.) I just can not imagine a couple with such a large age gap and from a different generation have so many things in common?
well, to each his own I guess, again this is just my personal view on the matter and for myself, I would never have married someone much younger or much older then myself.
some may agree with me, some will not, and that is fine i can respect that. Everyone is different and will have a different viewpoint on the matter of age.
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Bob, by the time I got to here, " things in common?", I was fixin to start getting angry but, then I read this " well, to each his own I guess, again this is just my personal view on the matter " and said the hell with it, he is just stating what he would or would not do.
Bob, just messin with ya :icon_cheesygrin:
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Willy,
You just carry on as your doing now mate, show these women that there's life in these older men, more in fact, than they were probably used to in there previous relationships.... It's just that Viagra supply i'm worried about!! ...hahaha!!
David.....
No problem David - I understand that Pfizers have set up a new production line. But what I will never work out is why are 60 years old so desirable? (at least for one night). I am like a kid locked in a sweet store.
Willy
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Wlly,
Don't even think about it, .....just get out there and enjoy it while it lasts...hahaha!!
David.....
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Wlly,
Don't even think about it, .....just get out there and enjoy it while it lasts...hahaha!!
David.....
David,
Are you trying to say that at some point even Viagra won't help?
Shaun
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Shaun..
No, not at all, even if they did stop working, there is also now the ''Super Viagra'' That should keep Willy going for a good few years at his present pace!!....hahaha!!
I meant, while his still playing the field so to speak, until he has found the one that's going to tame him,...if that's possible, that is? ...lol!!
David.....
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Shaun..
No, not at all, even if they did stop working, there is also now the ''Super Viagra'' That should keep Willy going for a good few years at his present pace!!....hahaha!!
I meant, while his still playing the field so to speak, until he has found the one that's going to tame him,...if that's possible, that is? ...lol!!
David.....
ROFPML
IS there a lady in China WHO could TAME HIM........LOL:icon_biggrin:
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Shaun..
No, not at all, even if they did stop working, there is also now the ''Super Viagra'' That should keep Willy going for a good few years at his present pace!!....hahaha!!
I meant, while his still playing the field so to speak, until he has found the one that's going to tame him,...if that's possible, that is? ...lol!!
David.....
I keep hoping that the next one will be that special one. Maybe I have already found her this past week. But until then I do not mind suffering for the sake of all mankind. Now all I need is a pill to relax me from 4am until 8am or find a lady that does not wake up in those hours.
Willy
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Shaun..
No, not at all, even if they did stop working, there is also now the ''Super Viagra'' That should keep Willy going for a good few years at his present pace!!....hahaha!!
I meant, while his still playing the field so to speak, until he has found the one that's going to tame him,...if that's possible, that is? ...lol!!
David.....
I keep hoping that the next one will be that special one. Maybe I have already found her this past week. But until then I do not mind suffering for the sake of all mankind. Now all I need is a pill to relax me from 4am until 8am or find a lady that does not wake up in those hours.
Willy
Willy's epitaph. Here lies Willy, standing at attention. :icon_cheesygrin:
It is morbid but thought it was funny. Sorry Willy I couldn't resist.
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Shaun and Vince you both have made me laugh so much.
I have already made arrangements that if i am standing to attention when i pop my clogs then they are to poke it through, trim it off and make it look like a knot in the timber!! They will have plenty of time - it will take then two weeks to get the huge smile off my face.
Most men want to die with the boots on. Not me, when my time is up I want it to be in bed, in action so to speak.
Can you imagine the story she will give to the police. 'He gave a groan - I thought he was coming but he was in fact going'
Death has not fear for me. Its running out of Viagra that scares the S**T out of me.
Willy
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Willy, when reading you, I do think about a true story, happened few years ago. A couple, an old man and his wife. They lived in a flat, the last floor (up, so)
When making love, the man died before the end and the wife had to call the ambulancy and so on...thanks to her mobile.
They both had to be "helped" and got out of the flat via helicopter, just because the wife could not go away from her husband (just imagine... it was just as "strong" as steel :icon_cheesygrin:
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Thanks Sly
I have been carried away many times - but what a way to be carried away for the last time.
For sure I dont want to die with my boots on. When my time goes I like the idea that you bring forth.
Willy
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I have already made arrangements that if i am standing to attention when i pop my clogs then they are to poke it through, trim it off and make it look like a knot in the timber!!
AARRR....Shiver me timber Willy, thats a hard knot life ya talking about...thats right.
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When I die I am getting buried with my ass popping outta the ground...So people will have somewhere to park their bikes....:icon_biggrin:
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I want my back side up, so the people that did not like me can kiss my "a**" lol
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JimB.
People that didn't like you, are more likely to put there boot up your arse,
if you give them such an opportunity as you state here, With your arse sticking up!! ...hahaha!!
Why not just come back, and haunt the buggers!! ...lol!!
David....
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Yeah, geti incinerated and make everyone sneeze when your ashes are dispersed :D
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When I die I am getting buried with my ass popping outta the ground...So people will have somewhere to park their bikes....:icon_biggrin:
Well just make sure that you don't get buried in West Kensington otherwise it won't be bikes that you will need to worry about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Willy
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Anyway, if he decides before dying to put any parking meter, and then getting burried with his ass popping outa the ground, yeah, for sure, his ass'd become rich....
Let's go call that place "SRAP" :D
Scottish Rob's Ass Place :D
*voice off*
And on your right side, the famous SRAP :D
roflmao, sorry....
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ROFLMAO....:angel::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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For Willy the Londoner :icon_biggrin:
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Caruthers was a distingushed and regular member of The Gentlemans Club,
but mysteriously went missing for a few weeks.....
When he reappeared, he had a fabulously beautiful young chinese woman on his arm...
'Gentleman' he said, 'I'd like you to meet my new wife'......
Once the jealousy had subsided, and after a suitable interval, they took him aside
and said " How did you do it?" " She doesn't look a day over 25 and you are 65..."
"You must have lied about your age...probably told her you were 45...admit it..."
"Well no" said Caruthers thoughtfully, " I told her I was 85"
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For Willy the Londoner :icon_biggrin:
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Caruthers was a distingushed and regular member of The Gentlemans Club,
but mysteriously went missing for a few weeks.....
When he reappeared, he had a fabulously beautiful young chinese woman on his arm...
'Gentleman' he said, 'I'd like you to meet my new wife'......
Once the jealousy had subsided, and after a suitable interval, they took him aside
and said " How did you do it?" " She doesn't look a day over 25 and you are 65..."
"You must have lied about your age...probably told her you were 45...admit it..."
"Well no" said Caruthers thoughtfully, " I told her I was 85"
Thanks David
Well thats a whole new angle - maybe I will say -'I and 85 and very rich'. But maybe leave that for a little while in case my existing sextigenerian charm escapes me.
Willy
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consider when you are say 65 she will be in her early 40's when women hit their sexual peak. You will ether own half of the viagra factory to keep up or she will stray out the back door to take care of business. Now this may not be true with chinese women, but give her a couple of years watching TV and find out what the west is really like and she may change.
I have a couple of friends with wife's from asia, and they brought their new wife's here to america, well they kept them indoors and away from TV, and when I asked them why, they told me it was to keep them like they were brought up (being a good and faithful) wife, because our way of life would spoil them specially with womens lib here. By the way, they were from India, but I guess this goe's for other country's as well.
By the way, should you marry this young thing and you don't have a case of viagra handy. A tounge depressor and a roll of black tape could come in handy.
Also consider when your old and sitting on the front porch, you say: do you remember this singing group, in which she won't have the foggest idea of what in hell your talking about.
Another thing, when you want to make love, you don't have to show her what you want, the older woman already knows....and that's a good thing....unless you like being a teacher....^_^
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Some funny stuff on this thread. Myself, I set my limit at 15 years younger, although with a bit of wiggle room...but they have to be at least older than my oldest son, who will turn 30 in May.
And the comment about the sexual peak of 40....right on. Have experienced one of those 'peakers' recently, and scared the hell outta me to be honest! It was fun...for one night...buuuuuttttttt......I think I'd be dead in a month of that. After 2 1/2 hours I figured she was done....but nooooo...she was just getting started......8~O
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well i guess there would be worse ways to go
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I love the idea of putting in a parking meter. Can we get the money donated to the brotherhood?....hahaha lol
As far as marrying a woman of younger age, I think that is up to you. If she is mentally older than she is physically, and both of you are attracted to each other, and the age difference does not bother ether of you. Age should not make any difference, if your both in true love with each other. Real true love, is not about age or looks, but the chemestry between each other. If it is right, a marrage can last forever.
I think a true love can overcome everything or anything standing in its way.
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good post rocky and very true
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Rocky,
I understand and do not disagree with what you are saying but I can't imagine being 75 and my wife being 50. If we are living in the US she would have to be working at the age of 50 and what I see most Chinese women do not want to work at that age. Not only will she have to work but she will have to take care of me as I will not be able to do as much as I used to.
I think it is better to keep her age close to your. I wouldn't want to go much further than the 7 years difference between Peggy and I. But to each their own.
Shaun
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Rocky
I totally agree.
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I think finding someone born in the same decade as you is good (e.g. max. age difference of 9 years or so). That way your interests and values would be similar.
I was watching a program about Thai wives the other night. The old guy married a stunning 19 year old, but their marriage lasted 3 weeks!!!
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I think finding someone born in the same decade as you is good (e.g. max. age difference of 9 years or so). That way your interests and values would be similar.
I was watching a program about Thai wives the other night. The old guy married a stunning 19 year old, but their marriage lasted 3 weeks!!!
But what a three weeks that was. :icon_cool::icon_cool:
Willy
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Willy,
did he pass away before she took all his money or after she took it all???